CS: Deacon!
CS: You going out for the match?
6:59 PM
(Fade in on Poison Ivy, in the back with Eli Flair...)
IVY: Be careful out there. This is the big one. This is
for EVERYTHING.
(Cut to Randy Harders, in the back on a cell phone...)
RH (Into phone): I know what I've got against me, but I'm
ready. And I promise, I'll be careful. You know, hun... this is for
EVERYTHING.
(Cut to Faith, alone in the back...)
F: I hope he's careful tonight... this means
EVERYTHING...
(Cut to Sunshine Del Payne, still in the dark
hallway...)
SDP: You know, if this doesn't work, if we're not careful
we risk losing EVERYTHING...
(Cut to Kevin Powers and Susan in the back...)
S: You sure you're ready to do this? You know he won't be
careful, and we've got EVERYTHING on the line here...
(Cut to Commisioner Thomas in the back, in his wrestling
'tights.' He's talking to Ben Worthington...)
ST: I was careful, I was exact. And I'm not about to lose
EVERYTHING in the blink of an eye. So do your job, man.
(Cut to the technical nerve center of the Astrodome. An
intern brushes past the PPV feed controls to get a better look at the
crowds...)
MP: BE CAREFUL! If we lose those feeds, EVERYTHING is up
in smoke!
(Cut to Buckley and Benson at the broadcast table...)
SB: I think we're ready to start.
BB: ... AND?
SB: And what? Do you really think I'm gonna continue this
ridiculous joke any longer?
BB: Point taken...
(Fade Out)
(The camera pans the Houston Astrodome, to reveal a sold
out, SCREAMING group of the CSWA's biggest fans. In the front row, the fifty
lucky winners of the POOLJAM contest have been treated to VIP seats.
The cool, crisp air has allowed the dome to remain open,
letting in the last few rays of sunshine for the day. The CSWA blimp flies
high overhead.
Cut to the broadcast table, where Bill Buckley and Sammy
Benson are standing, dressed in CSWA tuxedos...)
BB: WELCOME, TO THE HOUSTON ASTRODOME!!! WELCOME TO THE
MOST ANTICIPATED EVENT OF THE YEAR!!! WELCOME TO THE THANKSGIVING WEEKEND
SPECTACULAR!!! Hello, fans, my name is Bill Buckley, and I'm joined, as
always, by my co- host Sammy Benson.
SB: ONLY Sammy Benson.
BB: Yes, ONLY Sammy Benson. We were scheduled to be
joined by the Red Midget as well, but he's nowhere to be found!
SB: And he's not the only one, Buckley. Before the show
went on the air, you remember what Parsons told us. Del Payne and Vizzachero
are BOTH missing! I suspect foul play.
BB: Yeah, and I'm sitting next to it. Folks, we've got a
great lineup for you tonight, as we kick off DAY ONE of the Thanksgiving
Weekend Spectacular!
CSWA PRESIDENTIAL CHAMPIONSHIP TOURNAMENT
SEMI-FINALS
|
#1 "The HARD One" Randy Harders
vs.
#3 "Hot Stuff" Aaron
Douglas
|
(CUE UP: "Sabotage" - Beastie Boys
RJ: Ladies and gentlemen, this contest is scheduled for
one fall, and it is our first semi- final matchup in the CSWA Presidential
Tournament! Introducing first, is the NUMBER THREE SEED! From Calgary,
Alberta, Canada, weighing in at 233 pounds... He is the former TWO TIME
Greensboro CHAMPION... "HOT STUFF" AARON DOUGLAS!!
BB: Here comes Aaron Douglas, the former two- time
Greensboro Champion, to the ring. Look at that, Sammy. He's got that bandaged
shoulder.
SB: Well he was the victim of an unprovoked attack by
Mark Vizzack in the last round.
BB: X attacked him, not Vizzack. We haven't seen hide nor
hair of the former World Champion since Anniversary.
SB: Who else would have reason?
BB: Should I list 'em in alphabetical order?
SB: It's Vizzack.
BB: He wears a mask. It could easily be someone, ANYONE
else completely.
SB: I've got a skill with masked men.
BB: Last time, you thought Julius Godreign was Hornet.
And you were SEVERELY mistaken.
SB: I WAS FRAMED!
RJ: AND HIS OPPONENT...
(Cue Up: "Down in the Park" - Marilyn Manson)
From Long Island, New York... weighing in at 315 pounds,
he is a former GREENSBORO and UNITED STATES Heavyweight Champion... This is...
"THE HARD ONE" RANDY HARDERS!!!
BB: LISTEN TO THE PEOPLE CHEER FOR THE HARD ONE!
SB: Who?
BB: Sammy! Ever since Harders quit the Unholy his
popularity has shot right back up to where it was earlier in the year.
SB: Still, Aaron Douglas IS the 4.8 Million Dollar Man!
BB: ...Whatever. But no matter who wins this match,
they'll have a rough day tomorrow. In addition to facing Steve Radder or Dante
Inferno for the Presidential Championship, Douglas is signed to wrestle
HORNET, and Harders is, of course, a part of the WAR GAMES Main Event!
SB: Yeah Unholy! They have better women.
BB: We're ready to go here, as Douglas and Harders lock
up! Harders SHOVES "Hot Stuff" into the ropes! Oh, give me a break!
Douglas is claiming Harders had a handful of hair.
SB: He did.
BB: Just because YOU don't have any...
SB: That's not nice.
BB: Harders and Douglas lock up again... Douglas with a
handful of hair! Patrick Young calls for the break... Douglas slaps Harders in
the face!
SB: BAD MOVE!
BB: Douglas is showing off to the crowd... and Harders is
incensed! SPEAR BY THE HARD ONE! And he's PUMMELING Aaron Douglas with fists!
SB: Disqualify him!
BB: That won't happen, Sammy. These two have had nothing
but controversial matches earlier in the year, and Young, like everyone else
here, wants to see who the better man is!
SB: The man with the dollars!
BB: Harders is up, and he kicks Douglas in the side!
Aaron Douglas backs into the corner, and Young holds Harders back while the
former Greensboro Champion gets back to his feet. Look at Harders, Sammy. He
knows he's got the momentum, and Douglas is trying to break it up.
SB: Good move! C'mon, Aaron, take a breather!
BB: Aaron Douglas... leaves the ring? Young is telling
him to get back... oh, for Pete's sake! Douglas tries to call for a "time
out"? There ain't no time out in the CSWA, Douglas! Young begins to
count!
SB: Don't rush! Take some time!
BB: The count is at three!
SB: Don't hurry! You've got seven seconds.
BB: Harders exits the ring behind the referee's back, and
we've got a chase around the ring! Douglas slides under the bottom rope! Off
the opposite side... BASEBALL SLIDE! Harders was reentering the ring and he
flew backwards, hitting his back on the guardrail!
SB: Thank you!
BB: Douglas has turned the tide of this match around! He
goes back outside... BODYSLAM on the concrete! He picks up the HARD one and
sends him back in... and he's climbing the turnbuckle! GUILLOTINE LEGDROP!
There's the cover, 1.......2..............3! NO! NO! NO! Harders draped his
leg across the bottom rope!
SB: That might have saved it for him.
BB: Douglas pulls Harders to the middle of the ring and
hooks the leg! 1..........2...........NO! Harders kicked out! Harders kicked
out!
SB: Whaaa...?
BB: The intensity of the HARD one is incredible, Sammy!
SB: He... kicked out?
BB: Douglas pulls Harders to his feet... and sets him up
for a powerbomb! NO! Harders reverses with a backdrop! But he can't follow
through, as he falls to his knees!
SB: Douglas!
BB: Douglas is back to his feet first... and he's off the
ropes! Dropkick to the head of the HARD one! And another cover!
1.........2......NO! Harders kicks out with AUTHORITY! And he's climbing to
his feet! He's telling Douglas to give him another one!
SB: It's a trick!
BB: Douglas doesn't look like he's sure what to do!
SB: Don't do it, Aaron!
BB: What's he gonna do, Sammy? Stand there?
SB: Ummm...
BB: Doesn't matter, as Douglas bounces off the ropes...
and slides underneath Harders! Dropkick to the knee, and the HARD one is down
again!
SB: YES!
BB: He's back to his feet!
SB: NO!
BB: Harders is a man POSSESSED tonight! Douglas fires a
left hand... CAUGHT by Harders! HEADBUTT! Douglas is down! Harders wastes no
more time here... and picks up the former two- time Greensboro Champion...
WHIRLWIND! He's got Douglas locked in the Whirlwind!
SB: BREAK IT!
BB: NOBODY has ever broken it! THERE IT IS! Douglas has
surrendered! Doulgas has submitted, and Harders will move to the finals!
SB: NO!
BB: Harders moves on to the finals, and we've got one
more semi- final match to go tonight! TWS '99 is off to a great start, Sammy!
SB: Whoopee.
BB: Bitter doesn't suit you.
SB: I'M NOT BITTER!
CSWA PRESIDENTIAL CHAMPIONSHIP TOURNAMENT
SEMI-FINALS
|
#2 "Iceman" Steve Radder
vs.
#5 "Destroyer" Dante Inferno |
RJ: This contest is scheduled for one fall, and it is
our second and FINAL match in the Presidential Tournament Semi- Final Round!
(Cue Up: "Freak on a Leash" - KoRn)
Introducing first... from Long Island, New York...
Weighing in at 234 pounds... Former United States Champion... This is...
"THE ICEMAN" STEVE RADDER!!!
BB: Listen to the fans in the arena! They love Radder!
This is a man who thought his career was over, only to return to the sport
that missed him and find that he still has a place here!
SB: And now he gets to wrestle Dante Inferno. I bet he
wishes he'd stayed in bed.
BB: You might be right.
RJ: AND HIS OPPONENT...
(The lights go out... Cue Up: "Mummified in
Barbed Wire" - Cannibal Corpse)
From Parts Unknown... weighing in at 385 pounds, and
accompanied to the ring by "The Dark Angel" Silky Rose... One half
of RAZOR MELTDOWN... "THE DESTROYER" DANTE INFERNO!!
BB: Here comes the big man of the Unholy. The lights
are out, and as usual, his robes have been set ablaze to light the arena.
SB: Silky Rose! But you forget a few things, Buckley...
Inferno and his partner Blade have been distancing themselves from the
Unholy these past few weeks... you can bet the Iceman's happy about that.
BB: Indeed, it all but negates outside interference. In
theory, of course. But Inferno, with or WITHOUT the Unholy, is a dangerous,
VICIOUS opponent with no regard for himself or his opponent.
SB: And Silky Rose! Ooh La La!
BB: We're ready to start this one off, and you know
Randy Harders is in the back watching this one! Radder and Dante lock up...
and Radder is tossed into the corner! The last time these two faced off,
Radder won by disqualification when Inferno threw him over the top rope.
Let's hope the big man has learned since then.
SB: Radder should save himself and go home.
BB: That might be wise, Sammy. But there's no quit in
the Iceman! He's fought back from so much this year! They lock up again...
NO! Radder with a kick to Inferno's knee! And another! He clips the leg from
behind and Dante Inferno goes down!
SB: But he's right back to his knees!
BB: Radder off the ropes... and a faceslam on Inferno!
Rolls him over, and a quick cover! 1.............2...NO! Dante with the
powerful kickout! Sammy I'm impressed with the way Radder has gone right
after the big man so far!
SB: Don't be. Dante's got a plan.
BB: Inferno back to his feet... and he's just standing
there staring at Radder! What's going to happen here, Sammy?
SB: Mind games.
BB: Radder circles... and bounces himself off the
ropes! Clothesline! NO! Inferno steps to the side and grabs Radder's arm!
We've got Inferno holding Radder in a very well executed armbar!
SB: Wh...a?
BB: Dante Inferno has some wrestling skills, it would
seem! He's applying pressure at the shoulder... and he's FORCING Radder to
his knees! He's trying to wrench that arm out of the socket! Pee Wee
Troutman asking Radder if he wants to give it up, I doubt he'll do that!
SB: Why do you say that? Radder's known throughout the
world as a quitter.
BB: That's blatantly untrue.
SB: I don't make 'em up, I just report 'em.
BB: In this case, you also made 'em up. Dante slaps the
back of Radder's head! And he's biting Radder! Come on, Pee Wee! Do your
job!
SB: Dinner is served, though it's a tad cold!
BB: Reese finally makes Inferno break the hold, and
admonishes the big man for his actions! That's a bad move! Inferno's just as
likely to snap on an official as on Steve Radder.
SB: But Radder's got a HOPE of getting back to his
feet.
BB: Radder is taking a moment to regroup, and he jumps
up onto Dante Inferno's back! He's got a sleeper hold on the big man! NO!
Dante backs into the corner! Radder lets go, and Dante is firing lefts and
rights! I think the Iceman is split open! Inferno with a choke! Get in
there, Pee Wee!
SB: Why? Radder's gonna lose anyways. He might as well
let nature take its course.
BB: That's not true, Sammy! Inferno whips Radder across
to the opposite corner... and he follows in with a HUGE splash! Oh my! This
is gonna end it, Sammy!
SB: Hornet... eat your heart out!
BB: NO! NO! NO! Radder slumped down in the corner!
Inferno's head crashed against the metal ringpost! Blood is POURING out of
the "Destroyer"'s forehead! I believe Radder simply needs to make
the cover!
SB: NO! NO! NO! DANTE!
BB: Radder is coming back to his senses... and he sees
Inferno laid out! Both men are bloody messes, Sammy... and Reese begins the
standing ten count!
SB: Why is Radder getting up? WHY?
BB: Radder is on his knees... he's getting to his feet!
These fans are on their feet, Sammy! They are IN LOVE with Steve Radder
right now!
SB: I find that remark personally insulting,
BB: Bitter?
SB: I'M NOT BITTER!
BB: Radder is bringing the prone Inferno to his feet...
and he's setting him up... can he get the nearly four hundred pounds up?
He's lifting... HE GOT HIM! ABSOLUTE ZERO ON INFERNO!
SB: NO!
BB: There's the cover, but... Pee Wee Reese is
preoccupied with Silky Rose! She's on the ring apron, and her skimpy ring
attire is currently holding ALL of the referee's attention! Radder looks
confused... he sees Rose and immediately, his confusion makes way for anger!
SB: You touch that beautiful flower, Radder... and so
help me...
BB: Radder and Rose are now arguing... and Reese is
checking on Dante Inferno! Radder, make the cover!
SB: He can't hear you.
BB: RADDER SHOVES SILKY ROSE OFF THE APRON! He's
pointing at her and telling her to stay down there! OH MY GOD! Rose just
shot a fireball in the Iceman's face! Radder stumbles backwards! INFERNO
GRABS HIS LEGS AND ROLLS HIM UP! He's got the tights!
1............2..............3! NO! Radder kicked out! NO! Reese calls for
the bell! He's awarded this match to Inferno!
SB: YES!
BB: I can't believe it... Steve Radder was ROBBED here
tonight! And now Dante is laying into the prone Iceman with kicks to the
chest! HERE COMES RANDY HARDERS! Harders is all over Inferno! These two men
will meet for the Presidential Championship, but we're getting a preview
right now!
SB: Nope. For once, of all times, Gethard is on time.
BB: Gregg Gethard has indeed shown up. His security
team pulls Rose and Inferno to the locker room area, as Harders helps Radder
to the back. I can't believe this, fans... this is a travesty.
SB: For who?
VOICE: For the CSWA fans, who have missed me!
SB: Great... the circus is in town?
RM: I can't believe you two started the show without
me.
BB: You weren't here, Lyle. Case closed.
RM: I'm here now. Let's get it on!
SB: I think that's copyrighted...
CSWA GREENSBORO CHAMPIONSHIP
|
Wicked Sight vs. "English Gent" Lawrence Stanley |
RJ: This contest is scheduled for one fall... and it is
for the CSWA Greensboro Championship!
(Cue Up: "God Save the Queen")
Introducing first, is the challenger! He is
accompanied to the ring by his manager, Lord Alfred, and he weighs in at 320
pounds! From London, England, a Charter Member of the Multi-National
Corporation... "The English Gentleman" LAWRENCE STANLEY!
RM: Stanley's not too popular amongst the CSWA fans,
but popularity isn't what he's after.
SB: If it was, you'd be gone.
BB: Sammy!
SB: I'm sorry, Lyle.
BB: Thank you.
SB: You ARE half gone already.
RM: You're just jealous.
BB: Will you two stop it? Lawrence Stanley is not
endeared to this capacity crowd, true, but he has the height and weight
advantage, as well as the presence of Lord Alfred in his corner, has given
him the definite advantage.
RJ: AND HIS OPPONENT...
(Cue Up: "Lotus" - REM)
Weighing in at 216 pounds... he is the CSWA GREENSBORO
CHAMPION... THIS IS... WICKED SIGHT!
BB: Mixed reaction for the Greensboro Champion. He's
got promise, but a lot of fans think he won the title in a rather cheap way.
RM: He did.
SB: Cloudy screwed Blade.
BB: Sunshine, or "Cloudy" as you put it, did
NOT screw Blade. Blade screwed Blade. However, his current position as CSWA
United States Champion has not exactly prompted him to dispute it.
RM: Would you?
BB: Sight hands the Greensboro title over to Ben
Worthington, and the battle for the belt is underway! Collar and elbow tie
up in the middle of the ring!
SB: Is it over yet?
BB: Stanley with a hip toss, another... Sight rushes in... superkick! We
could have a new champion right here! 1.........2........NO!
RM: That kickout just saved the league, I kid you not.
BB: What?
RM: The English don't like midgets. If he wins I'm
gone.
SB: PLEASE WIN! PLEASE WIN, MISTER STANLEY!
BB: Stanley stays on top of things, he's got a camel
clutch hooked in! Sight, hasn't started this match, the way he would like
I"m sure.
RM: After that brutal match with Blade, and the added
pressure of not knowing who he's wrestling tomorrow. I'd say he's a little
distracted, yes.
SB: May I?
BB: Please.
RM: OW!! What was that for?
BB: Sight..manges to get to his knees... doing his best
to break out of the camel clutch! Stanley applying more and more pressure
doing everything he can to keep Sight down!
SB: Try biting... usually works for me!
RM: No wonder you're single.
BB: Sight, to his feet... he falls backward and Stanley
is crushed up against the turnbuckle! Smart move to get out of that hold!
SB: Very smart, now if he only would grab a chair, we could move on to EDDY!
BB: Eddy isn't wrestling tonight.
SB: Why am I here?
RM: We ask ourselves that same question every day.
BB: Sight, is on the middle rope, whaling away at Stanley! NO! Stanley hooks
the legs... inverted atomic drop... NO! Sight blocks it... CLOTHESLINE!
SB: Obviously you have things under control here, I'm headed out to get a
drink...
BB: You're not going anywhere, Benson! Park it!
SB: Must you always be such a drag...
RM: No, Sammy... GO.
SB: No. Because you want me to leave, I'm staying.
BB: Sight scoops up Stanley, belly to back suplex! Now
a quick pin, 1..... and that's all he gets! Sometimes you just might
surprise your opponent with a quick pin like that, Sammy!
SB: I'm sorry, I'm protesting the rest of the match until I get a drink, or
until Red is kicked out.
BB: Sight whips Sight into the ropes, side slam! He really drove Stanley's
body into the mat! There are no smiles from Lord Alfred, as Sight has this
match in control!
RM: And there's no smiles from us, because Sammy's
still here.
SB: You snotty little--
BB: Stanley struggles to his knees, grabs Sight's
tights and flings him through the ropes and crashing onto the floor!
SB: There you go kid...nice move!
RM: What? Commentary from the Fat Man?
SB: Shove it, shorty!
BB: Will you two stop? Stanley runs across the ring, bounces off the ropes,
and dives through the middle rope, and onto Sight on the outside!! What a
move!
SB: Follow it up kid, go find yourself a lead pipe or something and beat the
champ senseless!
BB: Stanley has a chair... what's he going to do with that?
SB: What do you think, genius?
RM: Bill, may I?
BB: Please.
SB: OUCH!
BB: Thank you.
RM: No problem.
BB: Stanley sets the chair up... gets a running start, leaps off the chair
and tries to do a Frank'n'Parsons on Sight!!
SB: Denied!
BB: Sight catches him in mid air, powerbomb!! He was so close to following
through with that move, Sammy, but at the last second Sight scooped him up
and drove him through the cement floor!
SB: Come on folks, let's all count. 1... 2... 3... 4...
BB: Sight rolls Stanley back in the ring, worse for wear, certainly!
SAMMY BENSON: 5... 6... 7...
BB: Sight hooks the arm back and now he's applied an
abdominal stretch!
SB: He's stretching Stanley out like a cheap condom.
RM: I don't want to know...
BB: Stanley reaches back and tosses Sight over his
hip... he didn't have that move cinched in too well, and Stanley took
advantage of it!
SB: For Sight's sake I hope he has a loaded boot or
something... I've just got a feeling he's not going to win otherwise.
BB: Stanley suplexes Sight, and drops him on top of the
top rope! Stanley trying to seize the moment, runs across the ring, and
charges in at Sight...
RM: Everyone out of the pool...
SB: HEY! Don't even mention his name.
BB: Sight slings himself over the top rope and
clotheslines Stanley! He saw that one coming from a mile away!
SB: WHAT did he see?
BB: Sight powers Stanley up, Shoulderbreaker!! He's got
it in gear now, Sammy, he knows the end is near!
RM: Yeah, Sammy. The end is near.
SB: With you, the end isn't far from the start.
BB: Sight to the top rope...Stanley to his feet...a
little dazed, but he turns and Sight catches him with a dropkick off the top
rope!
RM: It's over.
BB: Sight, signals to his fans...everyone on their
feet...they sense it as well! He's setting Stanley up for the View to Kill!
RM: Wait a sec - turn around Wicked!
BB: Ellis Jackson has hit the ringside area, and Wicked
Sight has turned toward the other member of the MNC! Ben Worthington is
telling Jackson to leave the ringside area...... and Alfred has sent that
cane to Stanley!
SB: What do they call that in Cricket?
BB: In the CSWA, that's called a KNOCKOUT!
RM: But it was effective. Sight is DOWN AND OUT!
BB: There's the cover, 1..............2...........3!
Wicked Sight has been ROBBED of the Greensboro Championship!
SB: Robbed, beaten... They mean the same thing.
BB: Lawrence Stanley has a microphone... let's hear
what he has to say.
LS: Now the world has seen that the MNC will go to any
lengths to get the job done. No hard feeling Wicked Sight, you were in the
wrong place at the wrong time. At least you can say you have had the honour
of being the first in ring victim of the MNC. With that we bid you all a
good day.
VOICE: I don't think so.
(Cut To: The video wall. Sunshine Del Payne's face is
on the screen... HUGE pop.)
BB: Sunshine! Where has she been all day?
SDP: I'll be up and around a little later, friends. But
Worthington... I think you should take a look at this.
(Scene cuts to the replay of Sight getting kobashed
with the cane.)
RM: I think Stanley is angry.
BB: Ben Worthington has taken the belt back from
Stanley and handed it back to Wicked Sight! Sight wins via DQ and he'll
defend against the Battle Royal Winner on Day Two!
Onto Part 2 of TWS
'99