 |
CSWA PRIMETIME in
Phoenix Featuring Kevin Powers
vs. Steve Radder in a grudge match! |
(As the U-62 logo fades, the camera cuts immediately to the recesses of the America West Arena, showing CSWA co-owner and commissioner Chad Merritt dressed in suit and tie, walking down the hallway flanked by security.)
BB: Ladies and gentlemen, it looks like we're dispensing with the preliminaries tonight. We've been told that in a very un-CSWA manner, Commissioner Merritt is going to address this capacity crowd in just a few moments. I want to welcome you to CSWA PRIMETIME in Phoenix...as always, I'm Bill Buckley along with my co-host Sammy Benson.
SB: You know this may be the first time we haven't opened a show where I didn't have a headache after the whole over-the-top light-pyro-laser show that's usually going on.
BB: Like I said...no frills tonight, apparently.
(Commissioner Merritt begins his walk down to the ring. The crowd reaction is mostly boos. Merritt's eyes are focused solely on the ring. He accepts a microphone from ring announcer Rhubarb Jones and climbs in the ring.)
CM: I know you people didn't come here to listen to me. (crowd pop) But we'll get things underway in just a few minutes. I'm here to address a few things real quickly. First, you all know about what has been going on between myself and my 'business partner', Stephen Thomas. Steve apparently has decided that if he can't oust me permanently, then he'll just ruin the CSWA and start up his own company. I won't allow that to happen. (mini-crowd pop) The CSWA is about to celebrate its twelfth anniversary...and if I have my way, there'll be a thirteenth, a fourteenth, a fifteenth (crowd pop increases)... Stephen Thomas is not the CSWA. Chad Merritt isn't the CSWA. Not by ourselves. There have been too many people that have come through that curtain to entertain you...and there have been too many people behind the scenes that have worked their butts off. And neither Steve nor anybody are going to end that. So here's my promise to you fans... I know you've seen all this before, I know that you've watched as Thomas and I have gone through things like this in the past....but I promise that at CSWA ANNIVERSARY 2000, it ends. Once and for all...no more games, no more ongoing 'drama' to milk the ratings...at ANNIVERSARY, either Thomas or I are leaving this company for good. (crowd pops huge) That's a promise. I'm not going to go into the details just yet....but let's just say it'll involve some old friends.
Speaking of old friends, now let me address the Unified Tag Team Title situation. You all saw what happened at INDEPENDENCE DAY when both Simply Stunning and The Dark Carnival each got one of the belts in the ladder match. What you may not have seen is what Powers and Apocalypse did with the titles a few weeks earlier. Roll it, Marvin.
(The camera cuts to the TV wall, where the words "EWI Shockwave" - Greensboro, North Carolina" appear as a clip begins)
KP: (taking the microphone from Zieba) Well Zieba you didn't surprise them, but you surprised me cause I didn't think you would go for it. Still a deal is a deal and we're gonna stick to it. Miso if you would please.
M: (taking the microphone) Ladies and Gentlemen. Not only will this match be fought under Southern BBQ rules, but titles will be at stake for The Dark Carnival, 'Good God' Kevin Powers and Apocalypse, will be putting their CSWA Unified Tag Team Titles on the line!
GM v/o: WHAT?
BS v/o: That's what I thought it would be, but is it possible?
GM v/o: WHAT?
BS v/o: Give over it Gary it's a done deal.
GM v/o: WHAT?
(cutto: later in the match)
GM: Cat fight! Woo! Oh... what's Miso up to? Sajec, frustrated, gets up and turns around to face Apocalypse just in time to be met with a fireball from Miso, who is standing on the apron! The fireball hits Sajec square in the face and he reels back in pain, stumbling over Powers, who is getting to his feet. Apocalypse delivers a series of punches to Sajec and then instructs Powers to set up another table. Apocalypse ascends the turnbuckle that Sajec extinguished earlier and pulls "Turn On" up to the top rope. Powers has the table set up and the ref gets back in the ring just in time to see Apocalypse hit The Seventh Seal (tombstone piledriver) from the top rope and straight through the table in the ring. The ref calls for the bell, awarding the match to The Dark Carnival.
(cutto: Merritt in the ring)
CM: Apparently Mr. Powers thought that because he was in a minor league independent that's seen locally in Taiwan that I wouldn't catch on. Thankfully, Mr. Locke still has ties back to his former stomping grounds. (camera cuts to a sign that has EWI written down the side: "Erik Wrestles Idiots.") Boys, you've technically violated your contracts...but I'll let that slide for now. Instead, I'll be content with taking you out of the running for the Unified Tag Team Titles. Just be glad that I'm not...
("Play With Me" by ICP begins playing as Powers and Apocalypse show up on the rampway. Powers has one of the Unified Tag Team Titles over his shoulder.)
KP: What the (bleep) do you think you're doing? We're still the champions, no matter what you...
CM: Cut his microphone.
KP: You little...
CM: CUT IT!
(Powers continues talking, but his words can't be heard. He throws down the microphone and begins advancing down the aisle with Apocalypse.)
CM: You're about to make the biggest mistake you've ever made if you keep walking, Kevin.
(Kevin continues mouthing off at Merritt...and continues walking down to ringside.)
BB: Look out from behind! It's SWAT TEAM! Colt and Beretta crash into The Dark Carnival from behind!!! Colt and Apocalypse fall off the railing almost into the first row. Beretta has ripped the title belt out of Powers' hands, and now he levels Kevin with it!!!
CM: Now that I'm done with Kevin and Co....let's move on to something a little more important. We're just two events away from ANNIVERSARY....and everybody's been asking me for the lineup. Well, I'm not quite ready to announce any more than I already have. You all know that SHOWTIME in Santa Fe is up next...and I've given six men a chance to secure title shots for ANNIVERSARY in a special six-man tag match. And I've also signed a special contenders match between Steve Radder and Mike Randalls. But the big question is... who gets the title shot at Deacon. Who gets the chance to knock Deacon off the pedestal and move onto ANNIVERSARY as the CSWA World Champion.
I've sat back over the past few months and watched as everybody and their mother has told me who I have special preferences for. Kevin Powers says Radder is my buddy, while Radder says Powers is. Mike Randalls has come out and said that Hornet is my 'fan favorite.' Every time somebody loses around here, somehow it ends up being my fault.
Well let me be brutally honest...I could care less about some of these guys. What I care about is which of them can put you fans in these seats and put on a good show....their personal issues don't make one bit of difference to me, as long they don't interfere in my plans. So I know I'm gonna get raked over the coals for what I'm about to say.
For the past few months, it's been very public that I've been in negotiations with Hornet. I've done everything I can to get Hornet to sign a CSWA contract again, to guarantee that he's going to be here to entertain you fans for years to come. Unfortunately, due to some personal considerations, Hornet has felt unable to entertain those offers. Well, there comes a time when a businessman has to cut his losses. Before I do that, I'm going to give Hornet one final chance. I've known Hornet for over twelve years now...I met him as Mark Windham's friend at the very first card we put on here in the CSWA...and while we've had our differences, I feel like I know Hornet pretty well.
So in one final opportunity, in addition to the contract offer I've laid out on the table, I'm going to give Hornet the shot at Deacon on SHOWTIME....with this caveat, if Hornet still won't sign a contract, SHOWTIME in Santa Fe will be his last match. (crowd boos) Hey, hey, I'm with you guys...but I can't continue bringing Hornet out here if he's not willing to play by the rules like everybody else.
Anyway fans, thanks for bearing with me...now let's get this show on the road!
(The lights go out as the patented CSWA light, laser and pyro show begins.)
SB: AAGH! MY EYES! MY EYES!
BB: You know, watching you squirm like that must be worth the price of admission for a lot of these fans. Fans, up first we've got the newest member of "Team Extreme!"
|
Johnny Fizzbin vs. Carl Brigsby |
With Eli Flair and Poison Ivy at ringside as Fizzbin's trainer and manager respectively, Johnny got his first in-ring test from the former "Lord of Darkness." Brigsby actually took the edge early, surprisingly, with his experience working over Fizzbin's in-ring nervousness. Carl took Fizzbin down with a huge DDT, but Fizzbin had sense enough to roll outside for a breather before Brisgby could go for the pin. After a short conference with Flair and Brigsby, Fizzy came back in and seemed to shake off some of the jitters. He countered a clothesline attempt by Brigsby, with a drop toe hold of his own. Taking over, Fizzbin showcased some aerial ability, following a tornado DDT with a quick moonsault from the top. In the end, Fizzbin set up Brigsby perfectly for "The Monkeywrench"...his heel kick from the top rope for the win.
|
"Hot Topic" John Cisco
vs. |
("I Dare You" by Black Rob plays out as John Cisco walks out to a decent reception, he smiles at the reception and waves to the fans as he makes his way to the ring. Once in it he bounces off the ropes a few times in preparation for his match with Lang.)
BB: Cisco is looking good, Johnny Lang will have his work cut out for him here.
SB: You think?!?!
BB: You’re a real grumpy SOB tonight….you know that?!?!
(Johnny Lang stretches himself behind the curtain as he waits for his entrance music to come on, once it replaces Cisco’s he makes his way to the ring, his eyes firmly on John Cisco. He climbs into the ring and disrobes.)
BB: Lang looks all business, he’s known for wanting t put a bit of credibility into the sport, and it looks like he’s taking this match seriously.
SB: Oh goody…….do I have to too?!?!
BB: Are you on some sort of medication I don’t know of?!?!
SB: Just good old JD and his many friends!
BB: I’m sorry I asked! Collar-and-elbow double tie-up in the middle of the ring, armbar by Cisco……somersault escape by Lang into a standing headlock. Cisco takes him off the ropes, Lang ducks the clothesline, attempted knee to the gut by Cisco….ROLLED INTO BY LANG INTO A SCHOOLBOY ROLL-UP…..1……2…….CISCO KICKS OUT! THESE TWO ARE FASTER THAN HICCUPS!
SB: Are you auditioning for another federation?
BB: Of course not.
SB: Huh……you’ll be wearing a cowboy hat next!
BB: WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TALKNG ABOUT?!?! Lang with a dropkick on Cisco followed by a scoop slam and then a front headlock as Lang looks to really grind into the jaw of Cisco.
SB: Hey….you got any Jack now I think of it?
BB: No…..and if you don’t mind I’m trying to call this match. And what happened to all that 'rehab' talk?
SB: Here…let me call it for you……this match is the biggest load of…..
BB: ….HOLD IT RIGHT THERE! Lang continues with the headlock as Cisco gets back to his knees……MODIFIED FISHERMAN’S CRADLE SUPLEX AND THE REF MAKES THE COUNT…….1…….2……LANG RELEASES THE HEADLOCK IN TIME! CISCO WITH A SHORT ARM CLOTHESLINE AND LANG IS DOWN AS CISCO STARTS TO PUT THE BOOTS INTO LANG!
SB: That’s it, stop playing around...kick the crap out of each other!
BB: Oh brother…….Lang outside trying to get his head together as Cisco climbs through the ropes, he’s on the outside……SUICIDE DIVE….WAIT……LANG LEAPS UP AT THE SAME TIME……FLYING HEAD SCISSORS AND CISCO IS SENT SPRAWLING INTO THE GUARD RAIL, WHAT A MOVE BY LANG! JOHN CISCO IS IN A WORLD OF HURT AS LANG DRAGS HIM UP AND LEANS HIM OVER THE RAILING….SNAKE EYES! I THINK CISCO IS BLEEDING FROM THE MOUTH AFTER THAT AND CAN YOU BLAME HIM?!?!
SB: Will you give it a rest?!?! Every card it’s the same, I try to chill out and you start to have hysteria fits every five minutes!
BB: In case you hadn’t realised Cisco and Lang are putting on a hell of a match for us!
SB: You’re right.
BB: At last!
SB: I hadn’t noticed!
BB: I need to have another talk with Merritt about you! Meanwhile, Lang has thrown Cisco back in the ring and Lang is on the top rope…..JUMPING DDT! Good grief! Cisco's head just bounced off the canvas. There's the cover….1….2….CISCO KICKS OUT, YOU’LL HAVE TO DO MORE THAN THAT TO GET RID OF ONE HALF OF ‘STRICTLY BUSINESS’! Snap Belly to belly suplex by Lang into another bridged pin…..1…..2……CISCO KICKS OUT AT THE LAST MINUTE! Lang off the ropes….SPINNING HEEL KICK….NO…..CISCO CATCHES HIM….STUN GUN! CISCO ROLLS HIM UP….1….2……LANG GETS OUT AT THE LAST SECOND!
SB: Are they still fighting?
BB: Yes.
SB: Ah man…….give it up one of you….will you?!?!
BB: Cisco lifts Lang onto the top rope….he’s signaling for the superplex! CISCO GOES FOR IT! BLOCKED BY LANG! ONE MORE GO……LANG FLOATS OVER ON THE TOP ROPE…..OH GOOD GOD! GERMAN SUPLEX FROM THE TOP ROPE BY JOHNNY LANG! THE REF IS DOWN TO COUNT BUT I THINK THIS IS ACADEMIC…..1……2……3!!!!! LANG WINS! LANG WINS! WHAT A MOVE TO WIN IT WITH, LANG WILL HAVE MADE PEOPLE SIT UP AND TAKE NOTICE OF HIM WITH THAT DISPLAY!
SB: You what?
BB: Well…..most people anyway!
SB: You still talking to me?
BB: No…forget it. Lang is celebrating outside the ring while the EMT’s are taking a look at John Cisco’s neck, he’s just coming round now. We’ll let them tend to Cisco and we’ll be right back.