 |
CSWA PRIMETIME in
Phoenix The Gent vs. The Wolf |
|
Lawrence
Stanley vs. Mike Randalls |
(CUT TO: A shot of the crowd. CUE UP: A traditional version of "God Save the Queen." As the opening chords of the song play, the crowd universally stands up and starts to jeer. Out from the entranceway, standing front and center with his long flowing robe, is "The English Gent" Lawrence Stanley. Stanley is flanked from behind by his mentor Lord Alfred, and on the side by his dutiful lackey, Serf. Stanley walks to the ring with his nose in the air, not caring at all about the trash being thrown at him.)
BB: There is the current United States champion, Lawrence Stanley... no fan favorite to everyone in attendance tonight.
SB: That’s what separates Stanley from these pieces of garbage... he doesn’t care what anyone thinks of them because he’s BETTER than everyone else.
(Serf runs up and holds the ropes open for Stanley, who stands in the middle of the ring and SNATCHES the mic from Rudy Seitzer.)
LS: (Taps the mic twice so ear-piercing feedback can be annoyingly heard.) Please be silent, you pissants. (The crowd UNLOADS with boos.)
BB: Come on, that’s uncalled for.
LS: What I’d like to do right now, before my match with the (said so snotty that you know it would have to be in quotes) "esteemed" Mike Randalls... is address you lowlifes about something VERY important to me. You see, it’s my goal... no... it’s my DESTINY... to be the best in this sport. To be the strongest, to be the most technically sound, to be the number one man in this bloody sport. And while you common people might boo me and might jeer me... all of you HAVE to give me my proper respect and admit to yourselves that I am what I say I am... and that’s one of the best athletes you have EVER seen in your lives. (Shows a fan waving a British flag.)
SB: Buckley, you have to admit, Stanley is one amazing wrestler.
BB: Stanley is probably the hottest property the sport has seen in years... he’s a real blue-chip prospect and is without question one of the most fundamentally sound athletes to ever step foot in the ring. Stanley’s problem is that HE knows that as well. I guess we'll see if the earlier attack by Apocalypse plays any part in this match.
LS: But you see... being ONE OF the best and being THE best is different... Tonight, I face a man who most of you degenerates... most of the wrestlers in the back... and most of the so-called experts in the back... consider the best. I face "The Wolf" Mike Randalls- (the crowd EXPLODES at the mention of Randalls’ name-- Lord Alfred is beside himself.) Mike Randalls has accomplished almost everything there is to accomplish in this sport, and I’m not going to take anything away from what the man has accomplished... even though he is unwashed like your typical American... the man is the best.
BB: A rare sign of respect from His Highness, even though it did come with his typical pompous attitude.
LS: Tonight, you fans are going to have the HONOR of seeing history being made. You are going to have the HONOR of seeing someone TAKE THE MANTLE of being known as the best... as tonight I *WILL* beat Mike Randalls. (The crowd boos that proclamation.) And when I beat Mike Randalls to have the torch passed down to me... I don’t want any excuses. No, I don’t want anyone at home or in this arena to say that I didn’t EARN the title of being the best. So what I’m doing right now is telling YOU Serf, and YOU, Lord Alfred... I want to wrestle this match BY MYSELF. I’m asking you two... please, for my sake... return to the locker room... (Alfred asks Stanley "Are you sure?" and then walks off in disbelief.)
BB: What a shocking announcement from Lawrence Stanley!
SB: Most of our British superiors do have strength and honor that Americans could only dream of.
BB: I’m not sure if that’s such a smart idea... Lawrence Stanley is in the ring against a bonafide madman who will do ANYTHING to win a match.
(The lights go completely black and the crowd roars. CUE UP: "Oh Well" by Fleetwood Mac. The music plays for a few... then when the lights come back on, Randalls is standing at the top of the aisleway. He drops the hooded robe he's wearing and comes out just wearing his tights, filled with various pictures of Eastern imagery. He looks DEAD at Stanley, and then rushes the ring as the bell rings.)
BB: Randalls rushes right into the ring! He and Stanley are just laying right into each other with jabs. Swinging wildly at each other.
SB: Randalls doesn’t want to go toe-to-toe with Stanley, he’s giving up about 80 pounds in size!
BB: Randalls has never backed down from a challenge a day in his life! Randalls with a jab that really stuns Stanley-- now a forearm backs Stanley into the corner. Randalls with a knifeedge chop ("WOOOOOOO" from the crowd). And ANOTHER one!
SB: Is someone firing off a rifle in here, or is that REALLY the noise of Randalls’ hand against Stanley’s chest?
BB: Randalls with a THIRD vicious chop... look at the red mark on Stanley’s chest! Randalls now whips Stanley into the opposite corner... Randalls charges-- OH MY LORD! STANLEY BOUNCED OUT OF THE CORNER AND JUST KNOCKED RANDALLS OUT OF HIS BOOTS WITH A CLOTHESLINE!
SB: I don’t think Randalls has EVER been hit with something like that!
BB: Stanley goes for the quick cover-- Ben Worthington with the count, 1...2... NO! (The crowd LEAPS up to their feet, almost in disbelief seeing Randalls losing so early in a match.) That was SO close to a Stanley victory!
SB: I’m telling you, Buckley. Tonight’s the night when history is made and Lawrence Stanley becomes the next great wrestler here in the CSWA, if he isn’t already!
BB: Stanley now stands over Randalls... slowing the pace down. He holds Randalls’ head down with his right forearm... OH MY! He just dropped an elbow right onto The Wolf’s eye! And now he’s pointing at Randalls again... and again with an elbow right near the eye socket!
SB: I’ve never seen anything like this... two minutes in, these guys are going for each other’s eyes.
BB: Folks, people like to say that wrestling isn’t rough, the guys don’t try and kill each other... I think already, Stanley and Randalls are proving that point wrong. (The camera shows a close-up of Randalls-- his right eye is red and puffy, like he just caught a Tyson punch to the face.) Stanley now waylays Randalls with a kick to the back.
SB: Look at him flash that beautiful British smile!
BB: Stanley whips Randalls to the ropes-- no, reversal, Randalls with a kneelift, backs Stanley towards the corner, bounces off the far ropes-- OH NO! (The crowd gets up and ERUPTS at what just happened.) STANLEY JUST BACKDROPPED MIKE RANDALLS OVER THE TOP ROPE TO THE FLOOR!
SB: Randalls is DEAD. Stanley isn’t just going to beat him, Stanley is going to FINISH him.
BB: Stanley is also slow to get up... tossing someone 10 feet in the air with your back sure takes a lot out of you. But Stanley rolls outside... he has Randalls up and -- no, Randalls reverses it and sends the English Gent’s face into the ring post! Now Randalls LEAPS like a caged animal and jumps on top of Stanley, catching him with a forearm smash to the face! Randalls is now standing on top of the ring apron, perched like a hawk...
SB: This guy is a nutjob...
BB: AIR RANDALLS FLIES AGAIN- HE CATCHES STANLEY WITH A BULLDOG ONTO THE RING STEPS!!! Both men are down on the floor. (The crowd is flipping out at the last move... a loud "Randalls, Randalls, Randalls" chant breaks out.)
SB: This match is an absolute car wreck.
BB: Stanley may have broken his nose with that move... he’s busted open. Ben Worthington has decided to just let these two just go at it wherever they want...
SB: Great decision for one in his miserable career, these fans paid good money to see these two pummel each other.
BB: Randalls grabs Stanley... but the big man just grabs Randalls by the thorax and LAUNCHES him back with a form of a chokeslam! Randalls just smacked his head against the rail.
SB: This isn’t a wrestling match, this is a fight in the woods between two rabid animals.
BB: Stanley reaches in the front row and grabs a chair-- he turns and NAILS Mike Randalls with it!
SB: You can see Randalls’ face indented in the steel.
BB: Worthington is out there to stop this before someone gets killed-- NO! Randalls just tossed him aside and he kicks Stanley in the stomach-- he DROPKICKS THE CHAIR INTO STANLEY’S FACE! Both men are bloodied messes...
SB: These guys are going to need transfusions after the match, the rate they’re going.
BB: Worthington now stands between both guys and is MAKING them get back to the ring now, threatening both with disqualification’s unless they do. Randalls goes in on one end, Stanley under the ropes perpendicular. Both men slow to get up... but Stanley is getting up first. Randalls rolls him up! 1...2...no! Stanley kicked out just in time! Now Randalls sneaks around-- he hooks Stanley in a full-nelson- Stanley drops down and rolls Randalls up! 1....2...no!
SB: If this match was decided on points, it’d be completely even.
BB: Stanley gets up and catches Randalls with a boot to the gut... Stanley now grabs Randalls and he uses his strength to toss Randalls over with a Belly-to-Belly!
SB: This match is going to be won with a big move like that... I can just FEEL it.
BB: Stanley is slow to capitalize... he picks Randalls up, hits a European uppercut and backs Randalls into the corner... he LIFTS Randalls into the air and climbs up to the top.
SB: He’s setting him up for The Guillotine, that AWESOME DDT from the top. This is gonna be it, Buckles!
BB: No, Randalls foreams Stanley in the nose. And again... now he shoves the big man down onto the mat!
SB: Stanley landed hard on his knee... he’s going to be FEELING that one.
BB: Randalls is now perched on the top... he comes CRASHING down on Stanley’s left knee with a headbutt from the top!
SB: Right on that hurt knee. Randalls is a little goofy with all this Eastern Zen bs, but I gotta hand it to him-- in the ring, the man is a machine.
BB: Now Randalls SNAPS up like a wolf hunting his prey... and he stomps on Stanley’s knee.
SB: He’s GOT to be thinking of hooking the Devastator soon.
BB: Randalls now picks up Stanley-- A VICIOUS Dragon Screw leg whip brings Stanley backdown.
SB: He musta picked that up from the Bhagavad-Gita, or perhaps "Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance."
BB: Randalls is now stalking Stanley, grapevines the leg... he bridges back and grabs Stanley... it’s on! The Devastator is on!
SB: This move has got to be the most effective move in the history of wrestling...
BB: Randalls has won THOUSANDS of matches using this hold... Worthington is asking Stanley if he wants to quit...
SB: He’s not giving, Buckley.
BB: Randalls is LYNCHING Stanley with the Devastator... and Stanley is REFUSING to give up... crawling towards the ropes. (The crowd is abuzz with noise.)
SB: Simply amazing... no one has ever lasted this long in this hold.
BB: With blood pouring into his eyes... Lawrence Stanley is REFUSING to give up... inching towards the ropes... he’s still got about a foot left.
SB: And each second that passes that Stanley isn’t giving up, Randalls cinches it even tighter. Like a noose.
BB: Stanley reaches, and he’s almost near the rope... Randalls is INTENT on taking Stanley out here.
SB But Stanley isn’t giving... showing the same resolve that got his people through the Battle of Britain in World War II.
BB: Stanley’s been in the Devastator for nearly a minute... that gruesome, gruesome hold.
SB: A lot of people, especially other wrestlers, really think this move should be banned because of how incapacitating it is. But Stanley is REFUSING to give in. (Stanley can be heard SCREAMING in pain, his face CAKED in blood. The crowd is rhythmically clapping and screaming, not believing that Stanley hasn’t tapped.)
BB: Stanley is reaching for his life... he’s only INCHES away... Worthington keeps on asking if he wants to quit, and Stanley is REFUSING, reaching... AND HE DID IT! HE DID IT! (The crowd bursts in applause as Stanley-- even though he is hated by the American fans-- survived the toughest minute of his life.) Stanley did it! Stanley grabbed the bottom rope!
SB: This is the first time I can remember anyone ever crawling out. Face it, Buckley... Lawrence Stanley isn’t just some run-of-the-mill rookie here... he’s awesome.
BB: I have to agree with you, Sammy... Lawrence Stanley has showed me... he’s showed the WORLD tonight that he belongs with Mike Randalls, with Hornet, with the elite of the CSWA... Stanley SMARTLY rolls out of the ring to recover.
SB: Speaking of Bug-brain, look at the back!
BB: Apparently Hornet is taking an interest in this match.
SB: I hate that do-gooder.
BB: Stanley is on the floor, probably suffering from exhaustion from that gruesome hold. Randalls is sitting back...
SB: For the first time in his career, Randalls gave it his all and was turned back. He’s got to regroup even more than Stanley does... it’s going to be a manner of who can step it up more now.
BB: That should be no problem for the former Unified Champion, who has without question the highest level of concentration any wrestler... any ATHLETE... has EVER had in history. Randalls is a master of the mental game as much as he is the physical. Stanley is stretching his knee, wrenching out the kinks that surely have been placed into it because of The Devastator.
SB: Randalls might best be known for ramming a spike into the knee of Guns’ in that awesome "I Quit" match years ago... he might have to become that vicious again to take out Stanley.
BB: Worthington is now demanding Stanley get back in the ring or be forced to give up the match... Stanley rolls under the ropes, and him and Randalls match up... and Randalls IMMEDIATELY stomps at Stanley’s knee. Stanley is hobbling on one foot... and Randalls again kicks at it.
SB: Randalls is so calculating.
BB: Stanley is backed into a corner, taking weight off that injured knee. Stanley catches fends Randalls off with a quick forearm... and another. Randalls knees Stanley in the stomach... and he NAILS him with one of those knifedged chops.
SB: Stanley’s flesh looks like it was charred in a fire.
BB: Randalls AGAIN with that vicious knifedged chop. Stanley must be in a lot of pain from that-- STANLEY FORCES RANDALLS INTO THE CORNER AND NAILS HIM WITH A CHOP OF HIS OWN! AND ANOTHER! AND ANOTHER! Randalls starts gasping from air... Stanley now snapmares Randalls to the ground, and drops an elbow to Randalls’ neck.
SB: Stanley just pinpointed a part of Randalls neck...
BB: Now Stanley picks Randalls up off the mat, whips Randalls in... WHAT A POWERSLAM FROM THE 320 POUNDER! (The crowd ERUPTS.) One..... two..... NO! NO! NO! RANDALLS JUST BARELY KICKED OUT!
SB: No matter WHAT the odds are, Randalls always finds a way to stay alive.
BB: Stanley can’t believe it. He hoists Randalls up again...Randalls chops Stanley in the throat, and whips him in. Stanley off the ropes, Randalls puts his head down-- STANLEY HITS RANDALLS WITH A HUGE POWERBOMB! RANDALLS LANDED STRAIGHT ONTO HIS NECK!
SB: But the US Champ is holding his knee! Stanley’s knee got twisted!
BB: Stanley is struggling to his feet.... he sees that Randalls is down and he covers! THIS IS IT! (The crowd counts along) ONE... TWO..... THREEEE- NO! NO! RANDALLS JUST GOT HIS FAR SHOULDER UP! RANDALLS JUST GOT HIS SHOULDER UP!!!
SB: That was the CLOSEST three count I’ve seen in the post Manuel Juarez era.
BB: Both men are on the mat. Both men are bloodied, beaten pulps... both men have given one hundred and ten percent... Stanley and Randalls are both up, and Stanley uses his bulk to push Randalls into the corner... a forearm smash to the face, and how he hoists the former Unified Champion on to the corner.
SB: This is it, Buckley.
BB: Stanley follows up to the top... he tried this before, where he hurt his knee on the way down. Randalls tries to shove Stanley, but Stanley just smacks him right in that swollen eye.. STANLEY IS NOW ON THE TOP... (The crowd all stands up at once, as both Stanley and Randalls fall to the mat.) STANLEY JUST DROPPED RANDALLS ONTO HIS NECK WITH A DDT FROM THE TOP!
SB: That’s one of his trademark moves, The Guillotine! The single most impressive move today in wrestling, not withstanding the Devastator of course.
BB: Randalls is OUT cold! Stanley is moving towards Randalls, dragging his frame on his injured leg... HE COVERS! (The crowd counts along again.) ONE... TWO... THREEEEE- NO! NO! RANDALLS SOMEHOW GOT HIS LEG ON THE ROPE! RANDALLS SOMEHOW GOT HIS LEG ON THE ROPE! THIS CROWD IS IN PANDEMONIUM!
SB: I can’t believe this... both men have taken the other’s best shot and live to tell about it.
BB: Stanley POPS up... he can sense that victory is his. He’s picking Randalls up... He’s got Randalls in position for the FACE DOWN, his Inverted Powerbomb from a pumphandle... He hoists Randalls- NO, Randalls spins around and DIAAAAAAMONNND CUTTTTTTER!
SB: Right on Stanley’s busted nose...
BB: Both men are again on the mat... Worthington is standing over them, counting... (The crowd counts along with him. 1.....2.....3) Neither man has moved a muscle! (4....5....6) Both Stanley and Randalls are starting to get up... (7....8...9) BOTH MEN BARELY BEAT THE TEN COUNT. (The crowd is going ballistic as both men are rising.) Both men are on wobbly legs-- STANLEY COLLAPSES BACK DOWN TO THE MAT. Randalls goes down to one knee... but regains his composure. (The crowd is pretty much dead, sensing the obvious. The camera shows Hornet shaking his head and walking off.)
SB: Randalls sees it... this is his chance.
BB: Randalls gets up and DRAGS the unconscious Stanley to the middle of the ring, and he quickly grapevines the leg... he bridges back... The Devastator is locked on tight, right there in the middle of the ring! Worthington checks Stanley-- but Stanley is out cold. Worthington raises Stanley’s hand once... twice... and a third time! (Worthington calls for the bell, and Randalls just collapses.)
RJ: The winner of the match... MIIIIIIIIIKEEEE RANDALLLLLLLLLLS. (Randalls is rolling on the mat, holding his neck.)
BB: I’ve never seen anything like this fans... never before have two men given so much in a wrestling match.
SB: Mike Randalls didn’t beat Lawrence Stanley... he SURVIVED him.
BB: Randalls is now getting up... raising his hand in triumph. (The crowd is applauding.) Mike Randalls with yet another superhuman effort to somehow beat Lawrence Stanley tonight... and now Randalls is checking on Stanley, who is starting to move again... NO! NO! RANDALLS JUST STOMPED STANLEY! NOW RANDALLS HOOKS THE DEVASTATOR ON AGAIN!
SB: He’s snapped! He’s snapped! The lunatic has snapped again!
BB: RANDALLS HAS THE DEVASTATOR ON AS TIGHT AS IT’S EVER BEEN APPLIED! (The bell is frequently ringing as Worthington tries to get Randalls to stop.) RANDALLS GETS UP AND TOSSES WORTHINGTON OUT OF THE RING! RANDALLS AGAIN HOOKS THE DEVASTATOR!
SB: He’s trying to end Stanley’s career! He’s trying to bury Stanley!
BB: (With the bell ringing.) HERE COMES LORD ALFRED! RANDALLS SNAPS UP AND NAILS HIM ON HIS WAY TO THE RING! HERE COMES SERF, WHO GETS MET WITH THE SAME! BOTH MEN ARE ON THE FLOOR! AND AGAIN RANDALLS HOOKS THE DEVASTATOR! SOMEONE HAS TO STOP HIM!
SB: Randalls is SO smart. He sees a chance to take out someone who is a threat to him, and he jumps on it.
BB: WAIT! WAIT! (The crowd pops.) HERE COMES SOMEONE-- HERE COMES TSUNAMI AND WILDSTAR! THEY ROLL INTO THE RING AS RANDALLS ROLLS OUT!
SB: But maybe before it was too late.
BB: Randalls grabs a chair and just tosses it wildly into the railing, GLARING at the ring... no he turns around and raises his hands in triumph, smiling that cold smile. Mike Randalls is a mad man... And since when did Tsunami and Wildstar care about helping somebody like Stanley out?
SB: Like I’ve been saying for years, Buckler....Randalls is a freak.
BB: Tsunami and WildStar are now lifting Stanley up... and Stanley is refusing... getting up on his own... (Stanley starts to get up slowly, limping on his hurt knee. The crowd all goes up in a standing ovation.) And this crowd is showing Stanley a sign of respect...
SB: Tonight, he took Mike Randalls to the limit. Not too many people can say that.
BB: (As Stanley limps out, with Tsunami and WildStar by his side, applauding, he gives a wave to the crowd.) Lawrence Stanley might not win any popularity contests... but tonight he has won the respect of CSWA fans everywhere and has joined the ranks of the elite here. But it's Mike Randalls who comes out with the win over the US Champ. He goes on to SHOWTIME in Santa Fe to meet perennial top contender Steve Radder! Folks, we’ll be back with the Main Event!