BB: Fans, there’s nothing I can say about this that hasn’t been said already. Let’s just take it up to Rhubarb.

RJ: For the following contest, there are no rules! There is no pinfall, there is no countout, there is no disqualification. The only way to win this match is to make your opponent say the words “I QUIT.” In addition, this match will be contested inside a steel cage, and this match can only come to an end INSIDE THE CAGE.

SB: Serious stuff, Buckley.

BB: This is as serious as it gets, Sammy. I truly believe that neither one of these men will be the same after tonight.

(CUE UP: “Intergalactic” – Beastie Boys. The video wall lights up with footage of Troy Windham’s first walk down a CSWA aisle, way back in 1993. It fades into a composite of Troy ’s earliest days as a wrestler, locking up, hitting various wrestling holds, wrestling the likes of Degadeth, Bonecrusher, Jim Williams, Peyton Wright, and various others. It ends with a slo-mo of Troy holding the Greensboro Title high above his head, freezing on that visual.)

(The lights go down again. CUE UP: “Gets Me Through” – Ozzy. Like Troy’s, the video wall immediately lights up with the visual of Eli Flair’s first walk down to a CSWA ring. It continued with the tapping out of Johnny Tropic to give Eli his first taste of CSWA gold with the IntraContinental title. Feeds into his first CSWA PPV match against his old nemesis, Platoon, to Delerious, to JT Tyler, to Scotty Michaels. Mostly wrestling holds, hold/counterhold mat wrestling. Tame stuff, most matches ended with an opposing submission. Freeze-frame on Eli Flair and Poison Ivy in the picture, Eli with the IC Title over his shoulder.)

(Immediately, the visual of Eli with the IntraContinental title fades to Troy hitting a flying elbowdrop on Joey Melton. CUE UP: “Cocky” – Kid Rock. The images for this song are quite different – they focus on various beatdowns that Generation X-Press, The Frat, and the NO LIMIT Soldiers dished out in the past five, six years. It includes tag team title matches against Japanese Assault, Power Unlimited, and ARROGANCE, as well as singles matches with Eli Flair (The Eliminator), GUNS, and his own brother, Mark Windham. Several cuts of Eddy Love and JJ DeVille are in there as well, but the final freeze frame is Troy holding the CSWA World Heavyweight Championship high above his head after pinning GUNS in San Antonio, Texas.)

(The visual shatters from behind to reveal Eli Flair defending his IC Title against Jim Williams in a bloody barbed wire/ladder match. CUE UP: “The Fight Song (Slipknot Remix)” – Marilyn Manson. The video wall proceeds to chronicle Eli Flair’s bloody rise to the top of the CSWA, from barbed wire against Jim Williams to the “BaseBrawl” against ATTAXX to the Wheel of Death against Randalls and Full Force. Brutality against Kevin Powers. The Nestea Plunge against Troy Windham.  A slo-mo shot of Sweet Melissa getting powerbombed through a table. Every shot is of a crimson mask. Every shot involves someone being helped out of the ring. The final visual is Eli Flair, holding the CSWA World Title belt high above his head after CSWA ANNIVERSARY 1999.)

SB: Troy doesn’t have medical clearance to wrestle…. this can only end in tragedy.

BB: Distinguished careers from both men, to say the very least. They earned everything that’s come their way, no question, Sammy.

SB: Eli’s had a good career, too, but he dared to put Sweet Sweet Melissa through a table…. and for that he deserves a slow and painful death.

(CUE UP: “Song 2” – Blur)

RJ: From Sweetwater, Texas, weighing in at 220 pounds, he is a former CSWA Greensboro Champion, former EN World Tag Team Champion, and former CSWA World Heavyweight Champion, he is the King of the Slackers, he is the King of All Media, and he is “Mr. CSWA” – TROY WINDHAM!

(Troy enters the arena with his typical entrance – arms raised, “Playboys Inc.” T-shirt on, CSWA baseball cap, backwards, on his head. There’s nothing short of unlimited intensity in his eyes as he ignores the fans all the way to the ring. This isn’t the Slacker that the CSWA is used to…. this is a man pushed to his limits.)

BB: Troy might have questionable morals, but he’s got more guts than he knows what to do with. I can’t help wondering if he’s in over his head tonight. He and Eli Flair were both torn up pretty badly after Elvis Lives, but there’s a world of difference between a knee injury and a neck injury. At worst, Eli Flair will have a limp for the rest of his life. At worst,Troy could be a quadraplegic.

SB: Troy had better know what he’s doing, or this is gonna be a real short match.

(Troy gets to the ring and enters the cage – pyro shoots up all around him, engulfing him in sparks for a few moments before the lights return. The crowd is cheering as loud as it can for the Playboy.)

RJ: His opponent, from Bronx, New York ….

(CUE UP: “Tainted Love” – Marilyn Manson, as the lights are completely killed.)

RJ: He is a former CSWA IntraContinental, Presidential, United States, and CSWA World Heavyweight Champion…. Weighing in at 301 pounds…. “Total Elimination” ELI FLAIR!

(The lighters begin to spark once again, until a lone spotlight shines directly on the entrance ramp – with Eli Flair, clad in his trademark black leather trenchcoat, standing tall with his head down and his hair covering his face completely. As the chorus kicks in, he flips his hair back with a raise of one fist toward the ceiling. He regards the fans with a cold gaze for a long moment before the walk to the ring. As he enters the cage, referee Patrick Young holds Troy back to allow the match to start on equal footing. Eli’s typical pyro – silver sparks from the ceiling – flare down, but he doesn’t even notice.)

BB: No more second-guessing, Sammy…. No more anticipation over who the better man truly is.

SB: Troy.

BB: I’m serious, Sammy. And you’re correct, Troy Windham currently has the 2-1 edge in their series, but I hesitate to call either man a ‘winner’ after the blood they’ve spilled. Referee Patrick Young has called both men to the middle of the ring, and he’s about to give the instructions.

PY (on house mic): Gentlemen…. This is an “I QUIT” match. There are no limits, there are no holds barred. The only rule in this match is that it can only end INSIDE THE RING, when one of you utters the words “I QUIT.” I will not be calling for any kind of breaks, I will not be administering any form of count. There are no pinfalls and there are no tap- outs. It should also be noted that Mr. Windham is not medically cleared to wrestle, and has signed a waiver releasing the CSWA and myself from all liability. Mr. Windham, do you understand the rules and risks I have laid out?

TROY : Yup.

PY: Mr. Flair?

(Flair simply stares at Troy.)

BB: There’s the bell, and this one has begun! Eli and Troy are face-to-face, and the trash talk has begun! Can we get a microphone down there?

SB: I don’t think it’s for the kids to hear.

BB: Good point, Sammy. They turn away from each other…. And fire a punch at the same time! They’re sending right hands back and forth, and Flair has the advantage! Troy’s at a distinct disadvantage to start, every shot is doing damage to that neck!

SB: Don’t do it, Troy! Don’t say it!

BB: It is a bit premature, Sammy… but Eli has Troy rocked! He sends the King of the Slackers into the ropes… stun gun! Troy slingshots back off the ropes, and he’s holding his neck! Young is in there immediately, but Troy grabbed the microphone and threw it across the ring! Eli hooked Troy by the head and sends him into the ropes again!

SB: Eli is schitzo, Troy is hurt. This doesn’t seem fair.

BB: Troy managed to hook the ropes, and he slides out of the ring and opens the cage door! Remember, this match is NOT confined to the cage, but the submission MUST HAPPEN inside the ring! Eli is quick to follow Troy — TROY SLAMMED ELI’S HEAD IN THE CAGE DOOR! Eli falls back holding his forehead, but he’s not floored yet!

SB: No, but he’s busted open! Has he even had a completely healed forehead in the past four years?

BB: I doubt it, Sammy. Troy looks under the ring, and he’s got one of those wrenches that the ring crew uses! This is out of hand already!

SB: Big surprise there.  Hey, I wonder if Eli's forehead is gonna look like Dusty Rhodes' in twenty years.  Ewwww.

BB: Troy reenters the ring, but Eli is on his feet and waiting! Their eyes meet… Sammy, are those flames I see coming from their eyes?

SB: Flame is too weak a word.   Flamer...well that might describe Eli.

BB: Eli is daring Troy to come at him with that wrench! Troy hesitates for just a moment, but he rushes Eli and swings! Eli ducked, he was ready for it! An elbow to the gut! Troy doubles over and drops the wrench! DDT! Eli grabbed that wrench and is standing over Troy ’s limp form… this didn’t take long, Sammy, but with Troy’s neck as it is… could you really expect anything else?

SB: Pssssh. Troy’s not done yet.

BB: You’re right, Sammy! Eli brought that wrench down on Troy’s neck, but he rolled out of the way! Troy with a kick to Eli’s knee, and that’s the one Eli hurt at ELVIS LIVES! It bucked, but he stayed up! Eli swings that wrench again, and Troy tumbles out of it! He’s back to his knees, and he grabs Eli by the wrist!

SB: That’s why Troy is the man… amateur wrestling at its best.

BB: Troy twisted his body around before Eli could react and forced him to drop that wrench! He’s got Eli in an armbar now, and Young is there with the microphone!

PY: Eli, do you give?

ELI: Go fuck yourself, Young.

BB: Oh my.

SB: That’s nice.

BB: We apologize for Mr. Flair’s language, this IS supposed to be family entertainment. Apparently Marvin needs to wake up and get his finger on the seven-second delay... otherwise the FCC is NOT gonna be happy.  Eli uses his weight advantage and whips Troy across the ring! He hooks him… Belly- to- belly suplex! Eli moves right in and grabbed Troy by the head… NO! Troy latched onto Eli’s knee with both arms, and he’s twisting! He’s working on Eli’s center of gravity, and I wonder how long Eli can stand on that injured knee with Troy pulling at the other!

SB: I’m impressed with the psychology these men are employing so far… there’s such a different mindset involved in an I QUIT match… normally these men would be looking to beat each other to unconsciousness or death, but now they have to get each other in a compromising position that’s so dangerous that they’re willing to give up, but lucid enough to actually say “I QUIT.”

BB: Very good, Sammy.

SB: They don’t pay me for nothing, ya know.

BB: Yes they do.

SB: Don’t make me come over there.

BB: Eli has maneuvered into the corner – he’s in no danger of being taken off his feet now. Troy slowly lets go as Young gets in there and pulls him back – he’s not a part of this match but these men were at an impasse. Troy backs up, and Eli takes a swing! Troy JUST DID A SPLIT!

SB: Call him Johnny Cage.

BB: Troy with a low blow, and Eli is in considerable pain! He’s able to casually grab that wrench! No, Troy !

SB: YES!

BB: Troy CLUBBED ELI ON THE SIDE OF THE HEAD WITH THAT WRENCH! Eli’s down on the mat, doubled over, resting his knees and forehead on the canvas! If this was a normal match, that would easily mean a three count! Troy with a kick to the gut! Eli is down, and Young is in there with the microphone!

SB: Did we get that delay yet?

BB: I think so, Sammy.

PY: Eli, do you wanna say it?

ELI: Mother… ***KER… Hell no!

PY: Are you sure?

BB: Troy just grabbed that microphone!

TW: Get the **** outta here, bitch. C’mon, Eli! Say it! Say it you bastard!

ELI: Get that *** damn microphone outta my face.

BB: Troy tosses the microphone to the side, and drops a forearm on Eli’s head! And another! He… oh no. Troy just eyed that wrench. He’s backing up… and letting Eli get to his feet?

SB: He’s planning something, He’s gotta be.

BB: Eli’s bell was run pretty hard, he’s taking a while to get back to his… OH MY GOD! Troy just impaled Eli’s knee with that wrench! Eli hits the mat again, HARD! Troy’s right on top of him with that microphone!

TW: Say it!

ELI: NO!

TW: SAY IT!

PY: Troy! Give me the microphone and let me do my job.

TW: What? Man, get the **** outta my way!

BB: Patrick Young is currently trying to get that microphone away from Troy so he can do his job, but Troy isn’t giving it up!

SB: Young is supposed to stay outta this! No rules, remember?

BB: TROY JUST SHOVED PATRICK YOUNG! Young shoved him back!

SB: That’s a mistake.

BB: TROY WITH A RIGHT HAND! SLACKNIFE! SLACKNIFE! We’ve got a referee down! But all that gave Eli time to recover! Troy needs to keep his head on his opponent!

SB: Recover? Troy hit him full force in the knee with a heavy wrench. He’s used the distraction time to ALMOST pull himself to his feet.

BB: Troy is holding his neck – it’s gotta be bothering him. He turns around to face Eli Flair – and we’re right back where we started in this match, only the two men are now VISIBLY injured, and the referee is down! Eli and Troy, however, are nodding in approval toward each other. They’re showing respect.

SB: Now I’ve seen everything.

BB: So have I, Sammy. Eli takes that wrench and hobbles to the door, tossing it  out. TROY FROM BEHIND! He hooked Eli and shoved him headfirst into the door!  It wasn’t latched, both men fall to the outside through the ropes! They’re back to their feet at about the same time, and Eli backhanded Troy! Knee to the face, and that did just as much damage to Flair!

SB: The difference being, Flair can still walk on one leg. Troy can’t walk with a broken neck!

BB: Eli pulls himself up on the guardrail, and he reaches into the crowd for a chair! He swings, but Troy blocks it with his forearm! Eli swings again but Troy rolled out of the way! The chair bounced off the ring steps! Troy from behind, sends Eli over the guardrail into the front row! Get those fans out of the way! Troy slingshots himself over, Swanton splash onto Eli’s chest! Troy cracked his legs on those chairs, however!

SB: Troy! Clear the air!

BB: Troy is up and he’s clearing the chairs away from himself and Eli – I guess concrete is a less forgiving surface than a chair that has a little bit of give to it! BODYSLAM by Troy ! He’s retrieving that microphone from ringside!

TW: Whaddaya say, Eli?

BB: Eli’s not done yet, I think.

TW: You know what? Screw it, I’m not done.

SB: This is gonna be bad.

BB: Troy has Eli hooked… SLACKNIFE! If this was a normal match, that would be the pinfall right there! Troy with the microphone, but he doesn’t try to get Eli to answer him, he bashes him in the face with it! Eli is a bloody mess!

SB: The King of Extreme has been out-Extremed!

BB: Troy has Eli laid out in about the ninth row – Gethard and his security team are doing all they can to hold the fans back… and Troy slaps on a figure four! He’s got the microphone in hand!

TW: Say it, Flair!

BB: Eli’s knee has got to be SCREAMING right now, Sammy!

TW: SAY IT!

SB: Troy tosses Eli the mic! He’s gonna say it!

BB: NO! Eli threw the microphone back at Troy! The fans are pushing through the security team! We need some more help down there!

SB: There it is! Eli’s tapping out!

BB: Tapping out doesn’t end the match, Sammy, and I think any tapping these two men would do in any case would be something other than a submission. Eli is pounding his fist on the concrete floor, as if it’ll help him think of something!

SB: All heck is breaking loose over there!

BB: It looks like VP of Security Gethard has someone in a chokehold, and at least two fans are being escorted out of the arena! WAIT! One of them kicked over a chair on their way out!

SB: TROY! LOOK OUT!

BB: Eli and Troy each have a hand on one of the legs of that chair – it’s a tug-of-war! Troy could grab it easily if he let go of the Figure- Four, but that would take the pressure off Eli’s knee! Eli grabs with both hands, letting go of his balance factor, and the only thing keeping him up now is the pressure from Troy ’s grip! Troy has both hands on the chair leg now, too!

SB: The only thing keeping these guys up right now is the pressure from each other’s grip!

BB: Eli has more upper body strength than Troy, however! It looks like he’s winning the tug of war!

SB: PULL, TROY! PULL LIKE YOU’VE NEVER PULLED BEFORE!

BB: THE CHAIR FLIES OUT OF TROY’S GRIP! Eli folds the chair up, and Troy cinches down on that Figure Four even harder! ELI RAISES THE CHAIR TO SWING!

SB: What’s he gonna hit? Troy’s head is too far away, and if he throws it, he’s got no weapon left!

BB: Troy is pulling both men toward another row of chairs with his hands, Eli is still trying to get a clear—OH MY GOD! ELI SWUNG THE CHAIR ONE- HANDED AND CAUGHT TROY ON THE WRIST! Troy stops moving and shouts out in pain! Eli rams the edge of the chair into Troy’s leg, and the Figure- Four is broken! Troy rolls through, holding his wrist, while Eli uses the chair to pull himself back to his feet!

SB: Nope! Eli got to his feet and tried to take a step, and he went down hard!

BB: This is certainly a predicament. Eli can’t walk on that knee, and Troy can’t effectively attack Eli with only one hand! Eli grabs Troy’s tights and pulls him in! HE GRABS TROY’S HAND FOR A TEST OF STRENGTH! TROY KICKS HIM IN THE LEG!

SB: Instinct on both parts, Buckley... pure instinct.

BB: Eli pulls himself up on the guardrail, and he’s using the steel to partially brace himself up! This match has been a brutal happenstance for both these already injured men, and the injuries are showing. Eli Flair can barely walk, and Troy has a weak neck and I wouldn’t be surprised if that hand had a hairline fracture or worse.

SB: But the match will continue, Buckley.

BB: Eli hobbles toward Troy, using that chair for support. He sends the edge into Troy ’s gut, DDT! Eli’s got the microphone!

ELI: Say it, Troy!

TW: **** you!

SB: I just remembered something.

BB: Your last name?

SB: Hah-Hah, Buckley. This match has to end in the ring, remember?

BB: That’s right, Sammy! Eli and Troy have tried to get the words out of each other in the crowd, but they wouldn’t count unless the two men are in the ring!

ELI: C’mon, Troy … don’t make me break your fingers.

TW: You don’t have the ****, Flair.

BB: Eli has Troy by the hair, and he’s dragging him over to the guardrail! What’s he gonna do?

SB: Weren’t you paying attention?

BB: Eli pulls Troy’s arm between two of the bars, and back around! That damaged left hand is VERY exposed!

ELI: SAY IT, TROY!

TW: **** YOU!

BB: OH MY GOD!!! ELI FLAIR JUST BROUGHT THAT CHAIR DOWN ON TROY’S HAND! He’s definitely broken that hand now! Listen to these fans! Some are cheering Eli on, some are cheering Troy’s comeback, and at least a quarter of them are sitting in a stunned silence!

SB: This has definitely gone too far, Buckley.

BB: Eli’s face is a crimson mask, and his gaze returns to the cage! I think he’s just remembered the rules, Sammy, because he grabs Troy by the hair and starts to drag him back to the ring! Troy is holding his hand in pain, and Eli is using a chair to help keep him standing… I think you’re right, Sammy, this has gone too far! Troy is fighting to keep out of the ring – and I don’t think anyone would blame him for quitting right now, but he’s got too much of that damn pride to do it!

SB: Buckley?

BB: Yes, Sammy?

SB: Who’s the good guy here?

BB: I couldn’t tell you, Sammy.

SB: Good, it’s not just me.

BB: Troy is holding onto the guardrail for dear life! Eli has made it to the ringside area with him, but he’s having trouble getting Troy the last five feet on one leg and one free hand. Troy , on the other hand, has wrapped his entire good arm around the guardrail and isn’t letting go!

SB: He can stay there until his hand heals.

BB: Sammy?

SB: I’ll wait!

BB: Eli has let go of Troy’s hair… and he brings the chair down on top of Troy’s head! His blonde hair splatters with red, but he’s still holding on! Another chairshot, and Troy is bleeding profusely! Eli takes aim again, but Troy turns and kicks his leg out from under him! Eli falls to the mat, and Troy takes advantage! He grabs the ring steps and sets them up… oh no. TROY! DON’T DO IT!

SB: YES! YES! The ultimate sacrifice, Buckley!

BB: SLACKNIFE ON THE STEPS! Eli is holding his neck, but I wonder what price Troy paid for that! Troy is rolling over in pain, holding his neck tightly!

SB: He’s not paralyzed yet, Buckley – that’s good enough for me! Finish him off, Troy!

BB: Troy to his knees, and there’s pain etched all across his face! What’s this? Eddy Love is headed to ringside, and he immediately goes to check on his partner Troy!

SB: EDDY! EDDY!

BB: We’re aware of your politics, Sammy, keep your mind on the match. Eddy has a towel in his hand, and he’s helping Troy wipe some of the blood out of his eyes with it. Eli, meanwhile, has been pulling himself up on the ring and the cage – and he’s scaling the cage? Eddy has helped Troy to his feet and is looking over his hand – that hand is definitely broken, Sammy – and Eli is over the top of the cage, and he collapses to the mat! Patrick Young is still lying motionless in the corner, with that microphone by his feet!

SB: Eddy should’ve brought a frosty beverage out for Troy to get him back in a good mindset for this match. He should’ve brought me one, too.

BB: Eli grabs that microphone! Troy is still on the outside!

ELI: TROY! This has gotta end, and it’s gonna end in here! Leave your Eddy outside, grab that ****ing chair, and get your slacker *** in the ring!

SB: That did it.

BB: Troy pushes Eddy away, and grabs the chair! Eddy is talking to him, but he’s not listening! Troy climbs into the ring, and he’s really favoring that hand, Sammy!

SB: Wouldn’t you?

BB: Look at this staredown. Eli Flair can barely put any weight on that leg, his face is a bloody mess, and his arms are battered all over. Troy Windham’s face was just as bloody a moment ago, his hand is swelling and turning purple, and his neck has gotta be in agony!

SB: But neither man has quit, Buckley. Neither man WILL, in my opinion.

BB: TROY SWINGS THE CHAIR! ELI DUCKED OUT OF THE WAY! Eli grabbed Troy by his broken hand and forces him to his knees!

ELI: NOW SAY THE WORDS!

BB: Troy isn’t saying much of anything, but he’s shaking his head! He can’t get a good shot on Eli with the chair, he’s in a no- win situation here! Eli forces that hand to the mat… and… oh my god! Eli is stepping on Troy’s broken hand! That gave him the leverage to grab the chair out of Troy’s hands!

ELI: Say it and I’ll stop!

BB: Eli dropped the microphone by Troy’s free hand, and holds the chair high above his head! Troy grabs the microphone!

TW: YOU… STINK!

BB: ELI WITH THAT CHAIR DOWN ON TROY’S FACE! He’s busted Troy’s nose! But Troy still refuses to give! Eli with the chair again, this time on Troy’s right knee! He gets off Troy’s hand and takes a step back, giving his opponent the floor to quit!

SB: Haven't we heard those words somewhere before? Troy’s still shaking his head! Even Eddy is telling him to give, to stop the pain!

BB: Troy ’s too stubborn to do that! Eli hobbles around in a circle for a moment – it looks like he can put a little of his weight on that knee again – and kicks Troy square in the head! This is too much! We need some help down here!

SB: We need a coroner!

BB: Troy is pulling himself back to his feet, but he’s a mess! The fans, Sammy, don’t seem to know what to make of this match anymore either! Eli with that chair, rams the edge into Troy’s gut! Troy is doubled over, and Eli brings the chair down on his back! He steps on Troy’s broken hand again!

ELI: One last chance, Troy.

BB: Eli’s got Troy’s left index finger in his hand!

ELI: Say it.

TW: FLAIR SUCKS!

BB: Oh my…

SB: I think I’m gonna be sick.

(The CSWA camera crew pulls back to a wide shot... but the audio remains.)

BB: ELI HAS JUST SNAPPED TROY’S INDEX FINGER!

ELI: Try it again, Troy?

TW: **** YOU!

BB: ELI HAS SNAPPED TROY’S MIDDLE FINGER!

SB: EDDY! HELP TROY!

BB: Eddy Love may have heard you, Sammy, as he’s just opened up that cage door and climbed in! Eli hasn’t seen him, his attention is focused on Troy, and on the stirring Patrick Young!

ELI: One more, Troy?

TW: Snap it, you bastard!

BB: Eli is going to—Eddy Love just tossed that bloody towel at Patrick Young! Eli spins around and sees Eddy standing there, and Young gets in between the two!

SB: Troy isn’t moving! We need some help for Troy!

BB: Patrick Young pushes Eli back, away from Eddy Love, and he… calls for the bell?

SB: What just happened?

BB: Eddy Love has retrieved Troy Windham from the middle of the ring and is pulling him outside! Eli is talking animatedly with the referee… what was the bell for?

RJ: Ladies and gentlemen, even though there has been no confirmation of Troy Windham saying the words, “I QUIT,” referee Patrick Young has elected to accept as an alternative, Eddy Love throwing in the towel for Troy . Therefore, the winner of this match—

(CUE UP: “Tainted Love” – Marilyn Manson)

BB: Eddy threw in the towel for Troy, and due to the damage he’s been dealt, Patrick Young elected to take it! Eli Flair wins the match!

SB: He doesn’t look like much of a winner, does he Buckley? He’s refusing to allow Young to raise his arm! And look at Troy!

BB: I can’t believe this. Troy Windham was being helped back to the medical area by his partner Eddy Love, but at the start of Eli’s music, he tried to break away from Eddy and go back to the ring. He’s still fighting, but with that busted hand, that busted nose, half- blind from blood in his eyes, and God only knows how badly damaged that neck is – he just doesn’t have it in him. Eli is still arguing with Patrick Young!

SB: Not anymore.

BB: ELI FLAIR GRABBED YOUNG BY THE THROAT! CHOKESLAM! Eli Flair hobbles out of the ring, and I think Rudy Seitzer is there to get a word with him!

(CUTTO: The aisle, where Rudy hurries up from the backstage with a microphone in hand.)

RS: Eli! Why did you do that to the referee? What’s going on?

(Eli stops and grabs Rudy by the collar, pulling him in close.)

ELI: Troy didn’t say it. That match was a ******* joke. Troy didn’t say it, so he didn’t lose. If Troy didn’t lose, I didn’t win. That tough son of a ***** doesn’t know how to quit. Don’t tell me I won, Rudy… nobody won that match.

(He lets Rudy go, and continues to hobble backstage.)

RS: Bill, Sammy… back to you as the paramedics come down the ramp to help Troy...and probably Eli as well.

(The paramedics load Troy onto a stretcher and are handing him out gently through the cage door.  Eddy Love has stayed behind, positioning himself between Troy and Flair who looks too exhausted to attempt to cause any further damage.  A little old lady has crossed the guard rail unnoticed and made her way to the cage door as they leave with Troy.)

BB:  I don't think we've ever been witness to such a brutal match in the CSWA. 

SB:  Any encounter involving Hortense comes to mind..  Hey look at that your grandmaw is on the apron giving Eli a piece of her mind.  You know how the elderly LOVE Troy Windham, at least if my mother is any indication. Then again humping to that woman is like walking to any of us. And she wonders why she doesn't have guests anymore. At least with a dog you can laugh about it.  

(Love has remained in the ring, basically ignoring the situation as he mulls the outcome of the match and the old lady is wagging her finger at Eli really giving him the business.  Flair moves into the woman's face pointing to his chin in a hit me pose.) 

BB:  You can see Love's part in Troy's loss is weighing heavily on his mind,  you know it hurts.

SB: More importantly, Bill, I think Eli's getting ready to go a round with your Grandmaw. 

BB: That's not Gram B! 

(The old lady slams her purse into Flair head, opening a new huge gash and sending him crashing to the mat.  As Love, slack-jawed in amazement, moves towards the woman, who is digging items from her purse the first of which is a brick which obviously supplied the power to the purse shot.)  

SB:  Don't stop her, Eddy! I want to see Old Lady Buckley finish off Flair.  

BB:  No matter how they feel about each other, Sammy, you know as well as I wrestlers don't take kindly to fans getting involved even if it is just a little old lady.  

(The lady removes a white drawstring trash bag, a chain and a master lock from her purse as Love moves over grabbing her by the shoulders which knocks off her wig revealing blonde hair pulled into a bun.  Love looks as if he's seen a ghost when he realizes who it is.) 

BB:  That's no little old lady!. That's, that's...

SB:  THAT'S SWEET MELISSA!.. SHE'S COME HOME!.. Oh what a glorious day. 

(Love tries to hug  Melissa, who shoves him off pointing to Flair, and shouting instructions.  Love applies a figure 4 leg lock as Melissa relocks the  cage with her own lock.) 

BB:  You're right Sammy, that is Melissa!  She's back and it looks like with a vengeance. 

SB:  I hope I get invited out with them tonight, nobody throws down like Eddy and Melissa.  

(Melissa moves behind Flair who has regained senses enough to attempt to counter Love's figure 4.  Melissa snatches the trash bag over his head pulling the string tight and clobbering him again with the brick.  Flair goes limp, as she shouts new orders at Love.) 

SB:  And it'll be an extra good party if she kills Flair right here in Greensboro.  

BB:  Flair certainly deserves retribution from Melissa, but Sammy this is getting serious.  

(The red from Flair's blood is showing prominently through the trash bag as Melissa goes to the top rope as Love positions Flair for a piledriver.)  

SB:  Melissa from the top rope, SPIKE HURRICANE PILEDRIVER!.. He might be dead. 

BB:  That's not funny, Sammy.  She's screaming at Eddy to get him up again, as she climbs back up the turnbuckle.  

SB:  ONE MORE TIME!. ONE MORE TIME! ONE MORE TIME! It's not often I get to chant with the humanoids.    

BB:  You're the only one I hear chanting, Sammy.  

SB: You're hearing voices? What was that?

(Love delivers another spike piledriver with Melissa from the top.  Flair's left twitches supplying the only sign of life.  Melissa tells Love to get him up again, but Eddy hesitates just a bit.) 

SB:  Melissa is giving Love a verbal beating as well. I think she thinks he's gone soft, Billy, but Eddy is coming around he's got Flair's dead weight back up!  

(crowd breathes a sigh of relief and cheers) 

BB: SUNSHINE DEL PAYNE has rushed to ringside! She’s trying desperately to open up that cage door, but Sweet Melissa’s lock won’t budge!  

SB: We’ve got a dead body in the ring and the poster girl for “Secret Cutting” trying to get in. Why wasn’t I told before hand that the Lifetime network is sponsoring this PPV?  

(Sweet Melissa steps over to berate Sunshine, pointing outside the ring as she fumes. Eddy holds position with Flair choosing not to punish Eli more.)

 BB: We need bolt cutters down here right now! This is absurd!

SB:  It’s ANNIVERSARY, Buckley get in the game. This is the company that tours on a cruise liner in the name of sports entertainment. Besides bolt cutters are the last thing we need with Del Payne on the scene. 

(Crowd POPS big time. Mark Windham runs down and leaps onto the cage, scaling it foothold by foothold much to the fan’s delight.) 

BB: MARK WINDHAM! It’s about time. Geez saint Louise Eli Flair isn’t moving. GET IN THERE MARK! 

SB: Buckley if he dies, a) does the show go on and b) if not do I still get paid? 

(Mark is two-thirds of the way up, when Eddy starts shaking the cage from the inside trying to throw Mark off.) 

BB: I’ve never seen this before. I....I....Marvin we need to cut away...Eli Flair is in hell. 

(The camera continues to maintain a wide shot as Eddy manages to knock Windham off. Sunshine leads a security guard to the cage door. The guard pulls out his piece and fires a shot at the lock.) 

SB: SHOTS FIRED BUCKLEY, STOP, DROP AND ROLL IN FRONT! 

BB: Will you get off! Sunshine IS IN THE RING! Tell me it’s not too late! 

(Sunshine races past Melissa and dives at Eli, pulling feverishly at the trash bag. She manages to tear it as Melissa yanks her off.) 

BB:  Sweet Melissa has lost her bloody mind! She’s flailing away at Sunshine! Both girls rolling around the blood stained mat! 

SB: I realize a man may be dead but Lifetime has to appreciate the scene. Two women headlining a PPV, that’s progress, if not good smutty content. 

(Mark Windham and the security guard fight their way inside the ring. Mark picks up Sweet Melissa and slings her to the ground. Sunshine and the guard hurry to Eli’s side. Melissa in a fit of rage attacks Windham.) 

BB: THAT WOMAN NEEDS TO BE SEDATED! EDDY GET HER UNDER CONTROL FOR CRYING OUT LOUD. Eli Flair, oh geez...Flair is motionless. I can only guess what his condition is...and it's not good.  

(Eddy wisely ties up Sweet Melissa with both arms and carefully retreats.  Windham lets them go and turns his attention to Flair.) 

SB: In all seriousness Buckley Flair isn’t dead.

BB: Sammy are you sure?!

SB: Beyond a doubt, I just heard a loud sigh coming from his direction. Of course that could have been a last gasp of life, but I’m standing on the side of positive thinking. 

BB: STOP! Paramedics have returned to the ring, fans if you’re watching at home all you can do at this time is pray. Pray for that young man’s well being. I fully understand the magnitude of evil that transpired in mobile at the hands of Flair towards Melissa herself, but this is over the line. Oh geez come on Eli. Come on son. 

SB: (pause) An argument about the dangers of live TV is wrong at this moment, correct?

BB: Marvin...please. 

(Cue up CSWA promo)