CSTV:  First Edition

November 15, 1999


(CUT TO: The outside of a parking lot. There’s a parking space right up front. From one side, a Jaguar pulls up. From the other side, a Rolls Royce pulls up, both going for the same parking space.  Out of the Jag, Lawrence Stanley, in a business suit, comes out cursing.)

LS: Who in their right minds would dare to take my parking space? Don’t they know who I am? Who would be so rude--

(Out of the Rolls comes Ellis Jackson, in his power suit, cursing.)

EJ: Who in their right minds would dare to take Ellis Jackson’s parking space? Don’t they know that I’m a Corporate Magnate who could buy and sell--

(They see each other.)

EJ: Ah, you’re Lawrence Stanley... The English Gent, correct? I’ve seen your work!

LS: Yes... you’re that Ellis Jackson chap, aren’t you? Ah, I enjoy yours as well.. it’s not every day where you meet someone who is as well-read and well-bred as yourself! (They both laugh.) My good man, would you care to engage me inside for some tea and crumpets?

EJ: I would be delighted! But I insist... I’ll pay! (They both laugh.)


(CUE UP: "Grey Cell Green" by Ned’s Atomic Dustbin.)

CUT TO: The CSWA logo... followed by a shot of television static.
CUT TO: A shot of Hornet, coming off a lear jet, flashbulbs popping for him.
CUT TO: A shot of Lawrence Stanley, on his yacht.
CUT TO: A shot of Marcus Haggar, lifting weights.
CUT TO: A shot of Eddy Love, with teenaged girls taping his body.
CUT TO: A shot of Mikey Beretta, microphone in his hand.
CUT TO: A shot of Eli Flair, with his CSWA World Title.
CUT TO: A shot of the brand-spanking new Samuel G. Hendricks Auditorium.
CUT TO: A live shot of the small, 4500 seat arena. Spiral fireworks are going off on the aisleway.
CUT TO: A medium sized African-American male, in a CSWA blazer, in the ring, horned-rimmed glasses, with a microphone.)

BJ: Ladies and gentlemen... I’m Broderick Jones and...WELCOME TO THE FIRST EDITION OF CSTV! (The crowd pops huge, breaking out a "CS (clap clap) WA" chant. We’re here LIVE from the Hendricks Auditorium in BEAUTIFUL Greensboro, North Carolina for our new show and, what a show we have in store for you! But first... before we begin, I’ve been notified by the brass that we have to make an announcement. For the past few months, we’ve occasionally seen some promos from an... (heightens his inflection) American Woman. (crowd pops) Now... she has been silent the past few weeks, but you all remember her routine... she claims to be a well-bred, well-heeled DEBUTANTE out to teach us all a lesson in manners... (crowd now boos)... well, folks, I have learned that The American Woman will be making her debut tonight... and she will be making her debut... NOW!!! 

(CUE UP: "American Woman" by Lenny Kravitz.)
(The crowd all turns to the curtain from the back, waiting. After about 10 seconds, out walks TERI MELTON, former CSWA valet, clad in pearls, and a red Hillary Clinton-esque power suit, heels, with a red and white scarf. The crowd howls at her arrival, and as she walks to the ring, she scowls at the fans who are attempting to slap her hand. She climbs the ring steps and orders Jones to hold the ropes open for her, which he reluctantly does. She gets in the ring and is met with a chant from the guys in the crowd.)

CROWD: Hoooo-teeeerrrrs. Hoooooo-teerrrrs. (The crowd keeps howling Hooters at Melton, who stomps her foot, and holds her ears.)

TM: Make them stop, Jones old-boy! I refuse to speak to such a crew of troglodytes! (Boos.)

BJ: Well, Miss Hoot- (Melton shoots him a dirty look) Miss Melton... I take it that YOU are the American Woman?

TM: Well, Jones, I guess you’re ANOTHER braniac hired by the CSWA staff... of COURSE I’m the American Woman, Broderick... and I’m back in this sport to teach these PEASANTS a lesson in manners!

BJ: Yeah, I know, Teri, I already exp- (Melton grabs the mic)

TM: You see, you SIMPLETONS... for YEARS I was told by the CSWA staff to be a floozy... to expose my body to you MORONS for ratings (crowd cheers at the thought of Teri exposing her body.) And, frankly... I decided that a girl from MY proper upbringing (Jones can’t believe what he hears) should NEVER... EVER show her flesh to someone who isn’t from a prep school, like me... who isn’t from an Ivy League school, like me... who isn’t an ELITE member of society, like me... and, I’ve also decided that I want to teach you all a LESSON in how to act before DEBUTANTES... by punishing your heroes.

BJ: What do you mean by that?

TM: Jones, I was GETTING to that point... now, with my daddy’s money, I’ve hired two wrestlers who are LEGENDS in this sport, to come and take over this league... two LEGENDS who you all know... two LEGENDS who, frankly, you two people NEVER appreciated! Carl Brigsby... Wesley Page.... GET OUT HERE NOW! (The crowd stands up, in disbelief that Melton is calling out Brigsby and Page-- the CSWA’s Job Squad-- out. They look confused as they make their way to the ring.)

BJ: You want Brigsby and Page in YOUR stable? (B & P make their way to the ring.)

CB: Teri-- it’s an HONOR to be selected by you for your stab-- (Melton SLAPS Carl right in the face and grabs the mic.)

TM: Boy, don’t talk to me unless I tell you to talk to me... learn your manners! (The crowd boos Teri.) No, you two LOSERS aren’t here to be in my STABLE... you two people here are to CLEAN my stable... like ALL these people should get on their HANDS AND KNEES and beg to do...

WP: Hey, Melton... I know that we haven’t won a lot of matches in our days, but you can’t talk to us... YOU CAN’T TALK TO THESE GOOD NORTH CAROLINANS (crowd cheers huge) like that! (Melton starts jawing with them.)

BJ: I’m getting out of here, this is gonna be bad news! (Brigsby and Page start to surround Melton, and shove her into a corner, threatening her as the crowd is cheering. The lights go black, and the crowd howls... when the lights come on, former CSWA World Tag Team Champions WILDSTAR AND TSUNAMI are in the ring, and they both clock Brigsby and Page!)

BJ: WILDSTAR! TSUNAMI! THEY’RE BACK! THEY’RE BACK! DAWN OF A NEW DAY IS BACK IN THE CSWA! And Teri Melton is giving both of them a hug... they’re a part of her stable! Referee Pee Wee Troutman has ran down to the ring, I guess we have a match here... Tsunami starts off with Page and the former Unified Champion chops Page into the corner... and hits him with that patented Savat Kick! Page rolls out to the floor--- and Tsunami bounces off the far ropes-- SOMERSAULT PLANCHA TO THE FLOOR!!! NO ONE IS SAFE FROM TSUNAMI! Brigsby is in the ring and WildStar, who has held every singles title in the CSWA except the World I think, is in... Brigsby swings at Star, who ducks, and hits a groundfloor spin kick! WildStar now picks Brigsby up... THAT’S IT! THE WILD DRIVER, SPINNING MICHINOKU DRIVER! And... TSUNAMI SPRINGBOARDS TO THE TOP ROPE! SHOOTING STAR PRESS!!! This is elementary... 1... 2... 3! WildStar and Tsunami get the win!

(The crowd is applauding their effort, and Melton is in the ring golf-clapping. Tsunami holds the ropes for Melton, and they walk their way over to the far side of the ring-- where there is a table with a full-course meal ready for them. WildStar- clad in a black singlet with a big red "$" on it, walks over to Jones)

BJ: Oh, I guess you’re going to be joining me, WildStar?

WS: Don’t you know it, you faceless goon! I’m a FIVE STAR wrestler, and I’m also a FIVE STAR color commentator!

BJ: For those of you who DON’T know by now, WildStar here has one of the biggest egos in this sport...

WS: Well, wouldn’t you have an ego problem too if you were the only FIVE STAR wrestler on this planet? No one else, except for ‘Nami, combines speed, agility, technical ability and athletic brilliance in this sport...

BJ: Well, WildStar, you are a great wrestler... and that leads me to ask, where have you and Tsunami been the past few years?

WS: Well, buck-o... me and Tsunami were sick and tired of being the only wrestlers in this league capable of delivering a quality match, a FIVE STAR match... and we were sick and tired of these SMART MARK MORONS out here not appreciating our FIVE STAR talent... cheering for losers like Simply Stunning or Kevin Powers or Eli Flair or whatever other Johnny Come Latelys are wrestling here now... so we went to a place where they APPRECIATE talent, and that’s Japan... where we won every single major title there was over there. And Miss Melton... well, as you know... (lets out a laugh) me and Teri have been rumored to have a "close relationship" for a while...

BJ: Close relationship?

WS: And she called me and asked if me and Nami wanted to come back to teach these trailer park denizens a lesson in RESPECT... and this is why we’re back. Now, Broderick, why don’t you do your job and call the next match instead of drool over me and my FIVE STAR mic-work talents...

BJ: (groans) I didn’t know my first day on the job would be so hard... let’s go to the ring!

(A skinny kid, dressed in a U.S. Postal Worker’s outfit, is in the ring, and he grabs the mic.)

MM: (taps the mic twice, obviously scared.) Is this on? Hello? Oh boy... (someone in the crowd throws a soda at him.) Well, uhm... the guys in the back in the suits told me to uh... oh man, I hate this... come out here and introduce my... myself to you guys. So... uhm, I used to deliver mail, but I always wanted to be a uh... wrestler... so, I signed up for the CSWA Power Plant and uh... here I am now. Me, Mike Madara... oh man, they didn’t teach us mic-spots there...

BJ: He could use some help in the interview department...

WS: Not everyone is a natural at everything like I am, Jones...


(CUE UP: "God Save the Queen" by the London Symphony Orchestra. The crowd stands up and immediately begins to boo as LORD ALFRED walks out waving the Union Jack flag... behind him, in the King’s Robes, walks out THE ENGLISH GENT Lawrence Stanley, and behind him in his business suit is Ellis Jackson. Alfred holds the ropes open for Stanley, and the huge Jackson steps over the ropes.)

LS: Ah, yet another fun day slumming it here in Greensboro! (Jackson laughs.) Now, you unwashed peasants should know better to jeer me... and you should get on bended knee before me to show me my respect! But that’s neither here nor there... allow me to explain the more pertinent business at hand. Me and my good man Ellis Jackson here got to talking over tea and crumpets... and we have decided that our interests would best be served in unison! Now, let me decipher that for you unwashed Americans... that means that me and Mr. Jackson have decided to MERGE our companies... into one... MULTINATIONAL CORPORATION... and you, the golf caddy... (points at the frightened Madara)... you will be the first person crushed in our wake! Ring the bell! (Alfred and Jackson leave the ring, standing at ringside.)

BJ: That’s big news coming from Stanley and Jackson’s camp, I read in Forbes a few weeks ago that there was perhaps a rivalry brewing between the two camps!

WS: Well, Jones, people who are of that level of class and dignity usually can put aside their differences... not like your average Joe SixPack. Now, Jones, you know that I don’t like to give respect to anyone, but I really like Stanley a lot... he’s a great guy, from what I’ve been told...

BJ: A great guy? Lawrence Stanley spends his whole time demeaning everyone!

WS: Like I said, he sounds like a great guy... will you call the match already?

BJ: Well... Madara is scared out of his mind here against this buzz-saw of a man... and he goes for a lockup... and Stanley has him, and-- WOW! What a Greco-Roman takedown!

WS: Not bad... about 4 point 5 stars worth of a takedown!

BJ: Now Stanley has Madara’s right leg and he grapevines it... and he grabs the legs and hoists him up... SURFBOARD! Madara’s screaming in pain and he-- WOW! He gave up already!

WS: (laughing) Wow man, what a gutless coward that kid is!

BJ: Stanley can’t believe it either... but he’ll take the win! (Stanley and Jackson walk past the dining table of Melton and Tsunami... Jackson and Melton exchange glances for a second, and share a warm smile.) Wow, Star... did you see that? Jackson just eyed up your uh... "good friend."

WS: Why that... who does he think--

BJ: Well, Star... you gotta admit that all of you do seem to have the same Modus Operandi.

WS: Jones, I gotta give you some credit for noticing that... but Jackson should no better than to look at my... friend... like that.


(Madara is limping out of the ring, and he stops, and he sees someone seated in the front row... the person at ringside has on a yellow and black mask, a beat up looking suit, briefcase in his hand... it’s the hulking man... Cardigo Mysterian. Madara sees him, and he stops dead in his tracks, yelps like a dog, and cowers away, falling over as Cardigo just looks at him.)

BJ: That’s... that’s Cardigo Mysterian, that lunatic who’s been around the CSWA locker rooms...

WS: I wouldn’t call that guy a lunatic, Jonesy... because he seems a little too smart to be that insane.

BJ: He’s always silent, just walking around... no one knows his purpose, if he even has one.

WS: You can tell by the way he moves that there’s something going on in his head... some sort of plan. You see how (bleep)ing hard he hit that rap punk in the face a few weeks ago?

BJ: Oh yes, who could forget that? (CUT TO: A slow-mo replay of Cardigo Mysterian crushing Ill Squeeze’s face with his briefcase.) The scary thing about that is... Cardigo and Ill Squeeze were allies!

(CUT TO: A series of boos as the old man, Thornton Squeezefeld, in his business suit, comes walking intently to the ring.)

BJ: Enough with these rich people already!

WS: Know your place, poor boy.

(Thornton gets the mic.)

TS: (really angry, pacing back and forth.) For those of you who don’t know me, let me introduce myself... my name is Thornton Squeezefeld... CEO and Owner of Squeezefeld Industries... my son, Ian... well, he’s a wrestler here in the CSWA, goes by the name of Ill Squeeze... my son, Ian, well, he’s never had his priorities straight. At first, he wanted to be some sort of rap-hoodlum superstar... and then he decided he wanted to be a professional wrestling superstar... and I agreed to let him. My boy... he just wanted to have some fun as a rapper, and be a champion wrestler like his father... the champion businessman! Well, knowing my son’s shortcomings as a man....

BJ: Some kind of dad this guy is!

WS: Father of the Year 10 years running!

TS: I knew that he’d need some help... and at the same time, coincidentally... THAT MAN (points to Cardigo Mysterian, who gets a surprising amount of loud cheers.) there approached me and Ian...and said that he would make sure that my son would... for the first time in his life... be a winner! Well... that LUNATIC (Cardigo stands up at that point) there... what he did to my boy cannot... WILL NOT be forgiven. Ian... come out here now. (Ian- hair slicked back, wearing a preppy looking suit with a gaudy diamond watch on each wrist, comes walking out. He’s wearing sunglasses as well, and he rolls into the ring.)

BJ: He doesn’t look like he’s a MC Hammer backup dancer anymore!

TS: Ian... Ian... show the camera your face!

IS: No dad... come on...

TS: Ian... I SAID SHOW THE CAMERA YOUR FACE! (Ian takes off his sunglasses... his eyes are still blackened, his nose has obviously had some plastic surgery performed on it, and there is a big scar from his left eye to his ear.)

BJ: Oh man... that’s disgusting!

WS: Some Five Star wounding there!

TS: Cardigo Mysterian... for what you did to my boy’s face... you need to pay us back... Ian- (Ian snatches the mic.)

IS: Cardigo Mysterian... you RUINED my face... and because of that... I’m challenging you to a match... RIGHT NOW! (The crowd pops at that prospect.) And, Cardigo... what I want you to do is come in here... and LAY DOWN ON YOUR BACK and let me cover you... and then we’re settled. And if you DON’T do that, boy... well... me and my dad are gonna GET YOU... you FREAK!

BJ: Cardigo’s getting in the ring now... for some reason, I don’t quite think he’s gonna lay down for Ian Squeezefeld.

WS: If he was smart, he would... because you should NEVER mess with people who have money.

BJ: Cardigo and Ian are facing off... and Ian is DEMANDING that Cardigo lays down! Cardigo is looking at Ian and... HE JUST GRABS IAN BY THE NECK AND CHOKESLAMS HIM... HE DIDN’T LET GO! HE HOISTS HIM UP AGAIN BY ONE ARM! AND ANOTHER CHOKESLAM... and...

WS: What strength this guy has! Is he human?

BJ: AGAIN! A THIRD CHOKESLAM WITH ONE HAND!!! Cardigo lays on top... (as the crowd sings along) 1...2...3! Cardigo is up again and... AGAIN HE HAS IAN SQUEEZEFELD UP FOR A FOURTH CHOKE- old man Thornton is in the ring and he hops on Cardigo’s back!

WS: This is gonna be fun... as much as I hate American wrestling, I always did miss stuff like this. You don’t usually find too much of this in All-Japan Tag Tournaments.

BJ: Cardigo lets Ian Squeezefeld go... and he just backs old man Thornton onto the top rope. He turns around and--

WS: I haven’t seen this much fear in a man since Mikey Madara last match!

BJ: Cardigo is climbing the top rope... and he puts Thornton’s head between his legs and starts to fall ba-- (the crowd just stands up in pure, dead silent shock.) CARDIGO MYSTERIAN JUST PILEDROVE THAT SIXTY FIVE YEAR OLD MAN FROM THE TOP ROPE!!!! WE NEED HELP! WE NEED SOME EMT’S DOWN HERE IMMEDIATELY! (Cardigo picks up Thornton’s wallet, which fell out... and he grabs the mic.)

Cardigo: You thought I was a stepping stone to greatness... but all you are is my foot in the door. (The crowd pops at Cardigo speaking... a "Cardigo, Cardigo, Cardigo" chant begins.)

WS: Well... that lunatic finally had something to say!  We haven't seen anything like that since Mark Windham attacked senior citizen Jack Roiter!

BJ: Nice and cryptic by Mysterian... Cardigo is reaching into his pants pocket and... oh no! That’s a fork in his hand!

WS: (laughing) Is he gonna eat these guys or something?

BJ: Cardigo has Ian by the face and... NOOOOOO!!!!!!! (Cardigo jabs the fork in Ian’s forehead, as Ian is screaming...the camera quickly cuts away to a crowd shot... the crowd is screaming like it’s at Jaws in the summer of 1974.  The camera centers on the action outside the ring as cops and Emergency Medical Technicians run into the ring.  The police surround Cardigo, who picks up his briefcase, and starts to walk out of the ring with cops... on his way out, he tosses money from Thornton’s wallet into the ring.)

WS: That was absolutely sick... I gotta get out of this country again to make sure that lunatic doesn’t scar my Five Star Good Looks.

BJ: Let’s go to the back for a minute...


(CUT TO: A locker room door that reads "Multi-National Corporation." The door opens, and in this well-to-do locker room is Lawrence Stanley and Ellis Jackson.)

EJ: No, Stanley... if you’d put your money into MY mutual fund, I promise you it’s gratuity would mature overnight!

LS: That’s all well and fine, my good man, but can I afford the second yacht if I do that?

(Ellis thinks about the question.)

EJ: Oh course you can! (They both erupt in pompous laughter. Lord Alfred gives Stanley a drink of some sort, and then off camera we hear someone--- it’s Mikey Madara.)

MM: Uh, excuse me, uhm--

LS: (scowling) What do you want?

MM: Well, Mr. Stanley, Mr. Jackson, I was uhm uh...

LS: Spit it out, moron... you’re wasting my time!

MM: Well, uhm, Mr. Stanley, you’re a really good wrestler, and I’m a really bad wrestler... and I was wondering... can you show me how to be a good wrestler?

(Stanley and Jackson exchange looks, and then begin laughing again.)

LS: (to Jackson) I’ll handle this... well, BOY... I’m glad that you admit that you’re an absolute horrid grappler... how willing are you for me to teach you to be a good wrestler?

MM: Oh, Mr. Stanley-- I’ll do anything to be a good wrestler!

LS: Good... first, you have to prove that you are worth my time to me... and that is to learn your place!

MM: Uh... what do you mean?

LS: Well, boy... me and Mr. Jackson here are forming our Multi-National Corporation... and our primary business motive is to humble those without our natural superiority... (Jackson and Alfred let out a laugh.) Are you willing to humble yourself beneath us to be accepted by us?

MM: Oh yes, anything!

LS: (folds his fingers in a "steeple" in front of his face, he speaks warmly at first.) Excellent... (then turns to his usual cold, pompous inflection) Now get on your knees now and shine my boots!

MM: Yes- yes. (Gets on his knees and starts shining.)

LS: And call me Mr. Stanley from now on, Serf!

MM: Yes, Mr. Stanley...

LS: Very well... (turns to the camera) Now, I suggest you get the cameras out of our corporate headquarters, for me and Ellis have some important business to attend to... I bid you good day!


(Cut to: Tsunami and Teri Melton, enjoying a bottle of wine. CUT TO: Broderick Jones and WildStar at the announcers table.)

BJ: Well... the ring techs are almost done getting that ring cleared from all that blood and (CUT TO: The back, where two stretchers are being loaded into an ambulance) it appears that the Squeezefeld family will be spending time in the hospital!

WS: Well, it’s a good thing that they’re rich, because their hospital bills are gonna be pretty steep...

BJ: Now it’s time for our next match... as the rookie monster Torrance (CUT TO: Torrance, in his all black outfit, enters the ring) is set to take on this mysterious enigma X... X has really impressed everyone so far in his short career! (The lights go out dim... and a strobe light effect comes on. X, clad in all black, comes rushing to the ring as the fans pop big.)

WS: What kind of name is X? This kid might have some skills... but he needs a FIVE STAR name, like I do!

BJ: X on the ring apron and-- OH WOW! Springboard Dropkick to Torrance’s back!

WS: Hey man, he stole that move from me!

BJ: Torrance slides out of the ring to get his composure and X bounces off the far ropes and... FLIPPING SOMERSAULT PLANCHA!!!! (The crowd busts out with a standing O for that death defying move, and starts an "X" chant.) X MARKS THE SPOT ON CSTV!

WS: This guy must have a ton of Dawn of a New Day tapes, I’ll give it up for him for at least ripping off someone with talent!

BJ: X now rolls Torrance back in the ring, and waits his moment... Torrance is slowly getting up and X Springboards and--- HURRICANRANA INTO A CRADLE! 1....2....3!!! X GETS THE WIN! LISTEN TO THIS CROWD! ("X X X X X X X" the crowd chants, as X rolls out of the ring and climbs through the crowd.)

WS: Not a bad little performance from this nutcase... 4 point 3 stars out of 5.

BJ: We’ve got word that Rudy Seitzer has a breaking story from the back!


(CUT TO: Rudy Seitzer, in the back, next to the entrance. Coming in, with his head down, walking at a quick pace is Shepherd... followed by the brooding Deacon.)

RS: Shepherd, Deacon doesn’t have any matches scheduled with his name … any truth to Deacon being Eddy Love’s partner?

SHEPHERD: Let’s just say that Deacon has a reason for being here tonight.

INTERVIEWER: But IS he…

(Shepherd and Deacon walk on by and into a dressing room marked for them.  Cut back to the front.)


BJ: Big news concerning tonight’s main event... Everyone’s been talking about the potential team-up of Deacon and Eddy Love... and NO ONE has a clue as to who Kevin Powers partner is!

WS: Well, the Powers of Love were a great tag team... but no tag team has ever been as good as me and Tsunami.

BJ: Well, Star, you and Tsunami have been a great tag team through the years, but there have been teams just as good as you guys... There’s been Arrogance, There’s been the CS Expre-- (CUT TO: The aisleway, where "Showtime" Mikey Beretta, wearing a "NLS" basketball jersey that reads "55" on it has a mic in his hand.)

MB: Quit yer yappering, morons in the booth... because it’s time for the ratings to go through the roof... FOR SHOOOOOOOWWWWWWWTTIIIIIMME!!! (The crowd immediately begins booing Beretta, as he walks to the ring.) Shut up, you clowns, because I’m a No Limit Soldier... I thought that I told you... (ducks a soda can at his head.) and, as you know, being Troy Windham’s ace in the hole, and being the man who can draw a (holds his basketball jersey) FIFTY FIVE SHARE from the Nielson’s... that Mikey Beretta is the future of this league. (Climbs in the ring.) Rookies fear me... veterans hate me... and fans... well- (hit with a soda) They simply ADORE me! And, like I said... Mikey Beretta will challenge ANYONE at ANYTIME. And to prove my point... I put up TEN THOUSAND DOLLARS OF TROY WINDHA-- I mean... TEN THOUSAND DOLLARS OF MY MONEY--

BJ: What a freeloader this punk is...

WS: Shhh-- he just popped a 20 share!

MB: --to take on ANY legend who wanted a piece of me! And, as soon as I put up my contract, there were not one... not two... not three... but four hundred sixty eight thousand and six BONAFIDE legends who wanted a piece of me... a piece of Showtime! So... I chose one, COMPLETELY at random... to try and take MY money... so, fans, I bring to you a man who is a legend in this industry... a true mat technician... I bring you MY opponent in the Ten Thousand Dollar Challenge... CURIOUSLY BRUCE... THE GAY MIDGET!!! ("Round and Round" by Dead Can Dance comes on, and out walks a bearded midget wearing all leather, running to the ring.)

BJ: Who the hell? I thought we banned midgets.

WS: Oh wow, It’s Curiously Bruce... this guy is a legend in Japan!

BJ: Well... Troutman calls for the bell, and I guess this is a match. Beretta just runs up and-- KNEE LIFT right to that midget’s face!

WS: That’s GAY midget, Jonesy.

BJ: That’s a damn offensive phrase, there... Beretta now whips in Curiously Bruce to the rops and knees him in the face... this is horrible. Now Mikey has him.... bodyslam. He goes for the cover, 1...2..- No, Mikey lifts him up.

WS: Keep on TV as long as you can, Mikey! You’re drawing huge ratings!

BJ: Mikey now goes behind Curiously Bruce and lifts him up... Belly-To-Back Suplex on that midget! Come on, end this match already! This is ridiculous....

WS: This is no different than any sparring partner or training session that we, as athletes, go through... except that Bruce is a lot shorter, and is also gay.

BJ: That midget is out of it... and now Beretta is climbing to the top rope. He makes some sort of hand gesture... FLIPPING SOMERSAULT INTO A LEG DROP! 1...2...3. Troutman counted quickly to make sure Showtime didn’t pull this poor little guy up again.

WS: That’s not fair to Mikey, he’s just trying to put on some Showtime for us all! We need it!

(CUT TO: A shot of Mikey walking down the aisle to jeers... he walks past a crew of freaky looking teenagers, all gothed out, wearing make-up, face paint, etc. One guy, pretty big, is sitting in the middle, as everyone else surrounds him in awe.)


BJ: Time for a match I’ve been looking forward to a lot...

WS: Yeah, jobbers usually excite everyone, Jonesy.

BJ: I’m sorry Star that everyone might not be able to put on a Five Star performance such as yourself, but these kids now coming into the ring are here for a fight... A Fight For The Future.

WS: Yeah... a future of setting up rings and independent show dates in front of 8 people.

(OORP-- Give it up for Jerald and Brian for this match!)

BJ: Let’s go to Rhubarb Jones!

(CUT TO: Rhubarb Jones, in the middle of the ring.)

(Cue Up: "Sky High" by Goodie Mob)

Rhubarb Jones: Coming to the ring first, in his home town tonight, of Greensboro, North Carolina...(decent fan pop) Brought to the ring by Helen...HE is "Big Time" Michael Gettis!

(As Big Gipp's voice rings threw the newly purchased Hendricks Center, the lovely Helen steps out on the ramp-way, and motions towards the back as "Big Time" steps threw the curtain. He throws up his large ebony arms, and waits for a little bit of pyro to shoot up, then he makes his way to the ring, and waist for the bell, and his opponents)

(Cue Up: "Rosa Parks" by Outkast)

Rhubarb Jones: His opponent from Yuka Flats, Nevada, standing 6'0" brought to the ring tonight by Maria St. Clair he is...Marcus Hagger!

(Marcus and Maria appear at the ramp way as the crowd goes wild, and Rosa Parks blasts over the PA system.)

Rhubarb Jones: Their opponent coming to the ring at this time. He hails from White Sands, New Mexico, and he weighs in at 232lbs, and he stands at 6 feet 3 inches. Here is the ladies choice, the one true playa in this game, "Pure Playa" Erik Jaaccckkksssooonnn!!!!!

(The lights go out and a dark blue strobe light begins flashing as "Changes" by 2pac Shakur kicks in and Erik Jackson wearing a black "I'm not cocky, I'm just better than you" T-shirt and a pair of dark blue baggy jeans busts through the curtains. He stops on the entrance way with a beautiful blonde on his arm as the fans give him a huge pop, he laughs graciously as he continues on his way to the ring. He holds the ropes open for the lady and then gets in himself. He stands in the corner staring at Michael Gettis and Marcus Hagger whom look ready to go. Erik does a little dance in the ring as the women leaves he takes off his shirt and this one gets underway as the bell rings.)

WS: Save the dancing for Ill Squeeze Dance Party...

BJ: That’s "The Walking Condom Commercial" Erik Jackson, for those of you who don’t know... The bell rings, and Haggar and Jackson with a quick tie up. Jackson whipped into the ropes and gets dropped with a big boot to the face. Jackson rolls to the outside to catch his breath.

WS: Ya, great cardiovascular stamina, rookie... one minute and he’s already blown up!

BJ: Did I detect some Five Star Sarcasm there, Wild Star? Now, Big Time comes from behind Haggar and nails him with a clothesline. Gettis drops to the ground for a quick cover. ONE...NO!! Haggar kicks out even before the two count.

WS: Its too early for a pin, but you gotta give it up for these kids to think about the pinfall. Good fundamental wrestling... a style of wrestling that me and Tsunami happen to be masters of!

BJ: Hey, what’s going on over there? (Jackson is over by the crew of weird goths...) Look their some commotion going on over their. (Jackson stands up and raises his hands in the air. Some fans cheer but some man wearing all black with a black trenchcoat on just stares at him and gives Jackson the finger.) WOW!! These are are really getting into it aren't they?

WS: Man, they should kick these Nine Inch Nails video rejects right out of here! Real wrestling fans would pay attention to the action in the ring.

BJ: Jackson doesn't look happy though. Jackson gets up and pushes the fan down. Some fans around him begin laughing as Jackson turns around to enter the ring. BUT THE FAN GETS UP QUICKLY AND... HE’S PULLING SOMETHING FROM HIS TRENCHCOAT!!! What is that?

WS: It’s called a billyclub, moron...

BJ: You deal with them a lot in Japan, Star? That fan now just hopped the railing and-- oh no! He nails Jackson with it right in his neck! (Jackson drops to the ground quivering in pain. Security rushes over and surrounds the guy, who is screaming "You've made me into this!!!!" over and over as his goth crew cheers. EMT’s rush over to Jackson.)

WS: Even the guys in the ring have stopped. (Haggar and Big Time are extremely po’d looking, not believing this.) This is horrible... where’s Gethard, the VP of Security? Where are they? We can’t have fans interfere like this! In Japan, they worshiped me like a god... would NEVER think about harming me!

BJ: Now Haggar is grabbing the mic! This is chaos...

Marcus Haggar: Ya know something. Let that (bleep)in' freak go. (The crowd erupts in cheers at that comment!) Get him in this ring and let us give him the beaten Jackson was going to receive!

BJ: This guy wants in the ring... security... SECURITY IS LETTING THIS GUY GO!

(Before he gets to the ring, he grabs yet another house mic.)

MAN: Let it be known that society's freak Stevie Calhoun is always watching.

BJ: What does that mean?

WS: Cryptic, dark messages... yep, he’s goth!

BJ: This guy enters the ring and he quickly enters the ring as Gettis and Haggar both begin double teaming him. He slips through as he's whipped into the ropes. SIDEWALK SLAM BY HAGGAR!! Gettis picks up Calhoun. HANGMANS NECKBREAKER!!

WS: Why would you just walk into a match to get beaten up like that by two guys who are warm? This guy must’ve read too many comic books to think he’s a super hero like that!

BJ: Gettis up top now...Marcus Haggar with a DEADLY SUPERKICK! And Gettis with the Big Timer...NO! Calhoun up, with a stomp to the back of Gettis, he turns and nails Haggar in the face on time, and then anouther for good messure...and kick to the gut, followed with a 3/4 Frontface DDT, lays out HAGGAR!

WS: This guy might actually know something aside from Korn lyrics!

BJ: Very Good Move, and he goes for the pin right off the bat, but only a one count, for this Main in Black!

WS: Again, these young punks do know their fundamentals... not bad at all!

BJ: Gettis is still on his back...and Hagger being dragged up by his hair, Calhoun tosses Marcus over into the corner...Calhoun sets him on the top rope...HURRICANRANA INTO A CRADLE! ONE...TWO..BROKEN up by Gettis!

WS: Excellent ring presence by Big Time... he’s really impressing me here.

BJ: Gettis has the advantage now, he takes it to Calhoun...he sends Steivie into the corner, and works him over there...rights, lefts...and a shoulder to the mid section! Stevie is down! Gettis is putting the boots to him, now though as we speak.

WS: These rookies gotta learn ring tempo, how to control a match... me and Tsunami are experts at that, they should watch our tapes!

BJ: Self-promotion is NEVER a problem with you, huh? Haggar is slowly making his way back to his feet, as Gettis picks up Stevie...

WS: What’s this gonna be?

BJ: Gettis WHIPS Stevie toward Hagger, Hagger leap frogs him, and nails Gettis with a for arm Stevie comes back of the ropes and catchs a back kick, spin around by Marcus, and a FACE PLANT, quick cover, ONE...TWO....once again Stevie kicks out to save himself!

WS: For someone who just hopped a ring railing, Calhoun sure knows what he’s doing!

BJ: Marcus up to his feet, and so is Gettis, these three young men showing OUTSTANDING TALENT! Gettis nails Calhoun, after Calhoun hits Marcus...

WS: These three way slug fests are where the victors are decided... now it’s time to see who is the best conditioned of these three!

BJ: Marucs on his back once again, as Gettis and Stevie duke it out... Mike is put down by a mean DDT by Stevie!

WS: Great move by The Goth Freak... (CUT TO: His section, cheering loudly.)

BJ: Marcus, back to his feet...and he drags up Michael. Marcus with a massive German Release Suplex!

WS: Complex move for a rookie... if he were to train a little more, he would know that it is an ideal time to bridge back into a pinfall.

BJ: What’s-- what are those freaks doing? (CUT TO: A few of the freaks hop the railing and surround Maria St. Clair.)

WS: Ah... ruining a great wrestling match like this!

BJ: And as Marcus and Michael battle it out, Stevie is standing in the corner directing traffic.

WS: This Stevie Weirdo guy knows how to get the upperhand...

(Stevie Calhoun is up on the last rope watching over his army of followers as they circle around Maria, licking there lips, and flipping their metal filled tongues, as they get closer and closer. She backs up, almost hitting one, then notices they are behind her, she turns around and starts to back up, and spins again real fast. She doesn't know what to do, with these "freaks" surrounding her, more and more every second. Then they grab her, and carry her as she struggles and screams.)

BJ: Hey, get those guys off of her! Come on, she didn’t do anything to anyone!

WS: Ha! Look at Gettis, ever the opportunist tho!

BJ: Marcus doesn't even notice...I don't think he even knows where he is, with the Cobra Clutch now locked on tight by Michael. Look at this creep Calhoun... smiling like that at his followers!

WS: Appreciative... he knows what he’s doing! What a great rookie!

BJ: He now returns to the action... and kicks Haggar right in the face. Michael is really wrenching down on that and Haggar screams in pain.

WS: This Haggar guy has an insane threshold of pain...

BJ: Stevie bounces off the ropes. Michael doesn't see it but Stevie hops up and dropkicks Michael right in the face. Gettis hits the mat hard screaming in pain. Stevie gets up smiling as he goes over and pounds on Haggar who can barely defend himself!

WS: This Haggar guy... is he human? Man, this is sick!

BJ: Stevie pulls Haggar to his feet. IRISH WHIP INTO THE CORNER BY STEVIE!! Stevie comes charging in. BOOT TO THE FACE BY HAGGAR!! Haggar jukes and jives and quickly rolls up Stevie. ONE..TWO..NO!! Stevie hops up from the count and begins stomping Haggar viciously. (The crowd begins rhythmically clapping, really into this match.)

WS: Listen to these people! You’d think me and Tsunami would’ve just hit the 60 minute mark in singles action against each other!

BJ: Stevie grabs Haggar by the hair. Gettis gets up and clips Stevie from behind sending him to the ground in pain. Gettis heads to the top turnbuckle. Haggar looks a little groggy.

WS: As well he should, after being Five Star Stomped like he has all night!

BJ: I dont think he knows where he is at all. Haggar bounces off the ropes. Haggar hits the ropes knocking Gettis off and crotching him on the top turnbuckle. Gettis falls off and rolls out of the ring as Helen comes over to comfort him.

WS: It’s always good to have a girl out there to comfort you... believe me, I know!

BJ: Now Haggar is getting up slowly as does Stevie... Stevie swings at Haggar. BLOCKED!! Haggar swings and connects with a right hand. Stevie reaches down and coldcocks Haggar! Haggar stumbles back into the corner and Stevie comes in connecting with a big splash!

WS: Match tempo... who gets control now will control the future!

BJ: Stevie hooks Haggar and sets him on the top turnbuckle. Gettis quickly rolls into the ring and grabs Stevie. NECKBREAKER!! Gettis covers Stevie. ONE...TWO...NO!! MARCUS COMES OFF THE TOP WITH A FIRESTORM FROGSPLASH!!

WS: What a move man! I can’t believe I didn’t tutor this guy!

BJ: Oh man these young guys are really trying to prove that they are the best of the best of the best.

WS: Well, me and ‘Nami would still take them easy, but these guys are pretty impressive!

BJ: You’re not kidding. Neither one of these guys are moving. Stevie took most of that frogsplash and I dont think Haggar’s been in it since being kicked in the face while being in a camel clutch.

WS: Ya, your whole face is exposed while in the position, it’s real easy to lose a few brain cells.

BJ: The ref begins the ten count. 1...2...3...4...5...6...7...Stevie and Michael begin moving in the ring but Marcus is still down. Stevie gets up and swings at Gettis. Gettis ducks BELLY TO BACK SUPLEX!! Gettis covers Stevie. ONE..TWO...NO!! Marcus just barely broke up the count! (The crowd is on its feet in anticipation, thought for sure that was it!)

WS: I cannot believe these guy’s reserves!

BJ: Gettis is furious. Gettis grabs Haggar up by the hair and whips him into the ropes... now Big Time cracks Haggar with a BOOT TO THE FACE!! Stevie gets up. Gettis closelines him up and over the top ropes!

WS: I have a feeling that trouble’s going to happen now...

BJ: Michael up on the top turnbuckle with a prone Marcus Haggar laying down on the mat. Gettis comes flying off with a elbow from the top turnbuckle!!! WHAT A MOVE! (The crowd busts out a standing O, chanting "Big Time" over and over.)

WS: Big Move from Big Time... this kid’s gonna be a star!

BJ: He calls that move the Big Tyma... this could be it... Gettis covers Haggar. ONE...TWO...NO!!! Stevie breaks up the cover. Haggar up on his feet. (The PA Announcer makes an announcement of "Thirty Seconds Remaining.") Stevie reaches down and pulls out his billy club. Stevie nails Haggar right in the face with it. The ref didnt even see it!

WS: Stevie shouldn’t do this... he should use his wrestling skills, because he has them.

BJ: Gettis turns around and gets kicked in the gut. Stevie hooks Gettis. RUNNING POWERBOMB!! Stevie has just planted him. Stevie covers. ONE...TWO...The ref taps Stevie on the shoulder and tells him the time limit is up. (The crowd breaks up in a standing ovation, not believing what they had just seen, chanting "Five More Minutes.")

WS: Stevie won’t let up tho! HA! Nice and vicious!

BJ: An irrate Stevie hooks Gettis and drills him with a cradle piledriver. The ref is calling for the bell and Stevie isnt happy about this one. Marcus is finally getting up as Stevie and Marcus stare at eachother and Helen is in the ring helping up Gettis...

WS: What a great match from those three rookies... they took everyone in this arena by surprise! I’ll give that match... 4 point 9 stars out of 5!

BJ: Very true, but a disappointed Marcus, is now looking around for his girlfriend, Maria St. Clair and she ain't there...As the "freaks" file back out onto the ramp way....

WS: Oh god... what’s this gonna be?

(Marcus goes to run and slide out the ring, but before he drops to slide out Stevie puts him on his back with a big backhand to the face. And Stevie exits the ring as the "freaks" flood it. They automatically go after Marcus and start stomping, and beating him.)

BJ: THOSE FREAKS ARE OUT OF THEIR MINDS! SOMEONE STOP THIS!

WS: Not after a great match like that... this isn’t right.

(Michael Gettis, who was on the outside tosses a chair in the ring, and slides in with another one. One of the freaks turns around, Big Time tosses him one of the chairs, as he catches it Gettis smashes him with the other one as the crowd pops huge.)

BJ: GETTIS IN NOW TAKING ON THIS ALIENATED YOUTH ARMY! BACK AND FORTH THEY GO, TAKING THEM ALL OUT!

WS: Someone’s gotta do it!

(Marcus gets to his feet, as the numbers have gone from 15, to 4 or so. Marcus handles one with a T-bone suplex, and Gettis beats anouther with a chair. They grab the third whipping him into the ropes, as he comes back, Marcus grabs a chair and the sandwich him with both of them. He drops and rolls out the ring. The third hits Michael, and Michael ducks, as Marcus nails the freak in the head. He drops and rolls out. The crowd is in a standing ovation.)

BJ: Well, we didn't have a winner in the battle, but in the war I think you can say these two men have won! We'll be back!


(CUT TO: The Multi-National Corporation locker room. Mike Madara... aka Serf... is busy shining Ellis Jackson’s shoes.)

LS: Serf... Oh Serf... go make yourself useful for a second and fetch me and Ellis our Cuban cigars!

SERF: Oh yes, yes Mr. Stanley!

EJ: He’s really learned how to act...

LS: I hope he’s good at carrying luggage! (They both pompously laugh as Serf comes toadying back, carrying 2 cigars.)


(CUT TO: The arena again.)

BJ: Well... that arena is still abuzz with that classic, Match of the Year candidate from those three rookies... wait-- we’ve got word that something’s going on in the back!

(CUT TO: The back room, a lot of arguing is going on...)

(The camera slowly, and cautiously enters a dark room...sitting in a chair, bound, and gagged, is the lovely Maria St. Clair. Her skirt looks a little torn, and her hair a little messy but besides that she looks to be good. As good as a woman who was just kidnapped can look. You can only see her from the camera mans angle from the door way. He takes anouther step in and he can see Stevie Calhoun, standing with his hands folded, and wearing a long black trenchcoat, and his black hair laying in his face. He speaks but you can hardly see his lips moving, for his hair.)

Stevie: This shall show Mark, the error...of his righteous ways...

(Steivie laughs, as the camera fades out, and back into another camera, in Hagger's dressing room. Marcus is NOT happy, as he tosses bench and slams lockers.)

Gettis: (taking off the tape on his hands.) Marcus, calm down...we'll get her back!

Marcus: ...Wha...?

Gettis: We'll...

(Marcus walks to Gettis, and kicks him square in the teeth. Gettis never sees it coming. He kicks him again, and starts beating him. Gettis tries to throw a punch or two, but this blind rage Marcus has, feels it no more than, he cares. He slams Gettis into the lockers, and then as Gettis falls he uses the tape half off and half on Gettis's hand to choke him out. Marcus has snapped.  He is getting all paraniod, looking around him, he drops Gettis, and looks around again, then leave the room like someone is after him or something, screaming "MARIAA!!")


BJ: Wow, it looks like Stevie Calhoun has gotten to both Marcus and Big Time!

WS: In one show, he’s become a true master of the mind game! And Haggar is a bonafide lunatic...

BJ: On that note... (Out from the back walks Blade, to a loud pop, as he’s holding the title.)

WS: He’s really impressive... deadly serious, intent on victory... I like this guy a lot!

(Blade walks right into the ring and snatches a mic.)

(OORP-- Give it up for Vizzy, who came through for us all again!)

BLADE:  Wicked Sight... You know, this has almost been amusing to me. You wrestled the Battle Royal and won it, you talk and talk and talk... You've jumped through every hoop I placed in front of you and have performed as well as I expected. But that's where the fairy tale ends. You don't MEASURE UP to me. You aren't NEARLY as capable as you have to be to take me out. And you never will be. If you are the athlete I will have to continue to face while I wear this gold... then you're welcome to it. But I will not waste another second of my life on worthless, talentless, sideshow freaks like yourself.

BJ: I can't believe it! Blade has dropped the Greensboro Title belt on the ground and is leaving the ring! Are we going to have a match, or what? This is ridiculous.

WS: Why, because he’s telling the truth? I hate these talentless goons also!

VOICE: Blade, wait a second.

(From the curtain, walks Sunshine Del Payne, with a purpose.)

SDP: Blade, the Board of Directors can't help where you want to be in the CSWA, or whether you drop the belt or not. But you signed a CONTRACT to wrestle Wicked Sight tonight. And champion or no champion, you're going to do it, or face SUSPENSION from the CSWA, INDEFINITELY.  (HUGE pop from the fans)

BB: Can you believe that? The Board of Directors has decreed that Blade WILL WRESTLE THIS MATCH! He's arguing with Sunshine... THERE'S A ROLL UP! Sight with the cover, 1............2..............NO! Blade kicks out! Sunshine calls for the bell, and this match is underway!

WS: That's not fair to Blade! He’s an athlete!

BJ: Patrick Young steps in between them, and Wicked Sight takes a step back and lets Blade fight with the referee!

WS: How biased can Young be? He always hated me and ‘Nami for our "cheating." Get back in there!

BJ: Sight getting ready in the corner, fixing his pads, and Blade CHARGES IN... Sight SEES HIM COMING, and side-steps Blade! Sight with a right hand, followed by a left, and Blade's staggering! Sight with a STANDING DROPKICK... and DOWN goes Blade! Sight to the outside, grabs the ropes...CATAPULT SPLASH DOWN ONTO Blade! A cover by Sight, 1................2.............NO! Blade with the kickout!

WS: Wicked Sight looks like a different man after winning that Battle Royal... he's wrestling with confidence, and that means a lot to wrestlers.

BJ: I noticed that you have a lot of it, Star. Now Sight is heading up top, and Blade is still trying to make it back to his feet... FLYING BODYPRESS by Sight... AND Blade CATCHES HIM! Blade turns Sight over, and LOCKS IN A BEARHUG! That's one of Blade's favorite maneuvers, and Sight is suddenly in trouble! Patrick Young asking Sight if he wants to give it up, but I don't see THAT happening!

WS: Still, it's a great move for Blade to use. It wears down Sight early on in the match and keeps his aerial attack down on the ground... that’s a great strategy from Blade!

BJ: Good point! Sight appears to be fading, but not going out! Finally, Blade feels that he's done enough, and he breaks the hold! Blade lifts up Sight, and CONNECTS with a SIDE BACKBREAKER! Blade has created a weak spot, and he's taking it to FULL advantage! Blade pulls Sight to his feet, and HITS A BACK SUPLEX! If he keeps this up, Wicked Sight's back is gonna be syrup!

WS: That's what you need to do to win matches... if he wrestled every match like this, he'd have as many titles as me and Tsunami do!

BJ: Blade covers the fallen Sight, 1..............2....................3! NO!  Blade now dragging Sight into the center of the ring, and he senses an opportunity, he's setting up for a BOSTON CRAB, can he turn Sight over, NO! Sight with a fist to the face, and Blade staggers back! Sight grabs the legs of Blade, and propels himself up, OH MY! HE CAUGHT Blade WITH A FRANK-N-PARSONS!

WS: A move in my arsenal! It didn't have too much effect, though, Blade is getting right back up!

BJ: Sight sends Blade off the ropes, and CONNECTS WITH A BIG LEAPING ELBOW! Blade down, and Sight covers, ONE, TWO, KICKOUT by Blade! You'll have to do a bit more to keep the big man down! Sight WHIPS Blade into the corner with authority, now he leaps up on his back.....he's going for a VICTORY ROLL... NO! Blade JUST CRASHES HIM DOWN TO THE CANVAS! That crucifix-like manuever took a lot out of Sight! Blade off the ropes... AND DROPS A LEG! Blade with a cover, 1.................2..............NO! He got a foot on the rope! Blade up to his feet, and he's SCREAMING at the referee!

WS: He's losing his focus on the match, a Five Star Wrestler wouldn’t do that!

BJ: Blade still yapping, and Sight taps him on the shoulder, SMALL PACKAGE!  1.................2................. ALMOST A THREE COUNT! Blade is just plain furious, and this just isn't going to work to his advantage! He ROARS up and MISSES with a CLOTHESLINE!Misses with another... CRUCIFIX CRADLE BY Sight, 1..............2....................NO! Blade just broke it! Blade charges again, and THIS TIME, Sight grabs him by the tights and sends him outside the ring! Sight GRABS the ropes, and CATAPULTS DOWN ONTO Blade! Blade didn't see that coming, and he goes down to the concrete! Sight pointing to the ringpost, and that's gonna be Blade's next stop... NO! Blade drops to the floor, and Sight CARRIES into the post! Sight ricohets off the post... AND GETS CLOTHESLINED DOWN BY Blade! Blade rolls Sight into the ring, and he might be looking to finish him off!

WS: I think Sight may have been busted open when he got slammed into the ringpost!

BJ: Yes, it appears that Sight is cut over the right eye! Blade pulls Sight to his feet, and he's working over Sight with BIG forearm shots! Blade sends Sight off the ropes....AND HITS A THUNDEROUS POWERSLAM! That might be it! A cover, 1...............2....................3! NO! Sight AGAIN just avoids the three count! Blade pulls him up, and he's gesturing that the match is over!

WS: If he hits Sight with that 4 point 8 Star powerbomb, like he did last time, you can forget about it!

BJ: And that's just what Blade is setting up Sight for! Rose screaming to Sight, telling him what's going on, but you've got to wonder if Sight even knows where he is! Blade setting him up... AND Sight GETS OVER THE SHOULDER! Sight scampers into the corner, and Blade charges in! Sight up to the second rope...

WS: NO! NO! NO! Blade grabs him by the hair and PULLS him to the canvas!  That's a boy, Blade! Hahaha, great technical move!

BJ: Blade is untying the turnbuckle pad! He's going to spike Wicked Sight on it! Patrick Young is threatening him with a disqualification... NO! Blade grabs Young by the throat! CHOKESLAM!

WS: Blade's DQ'd? What a great strategy!

BJ: Blade is disqualified! "Ring The Bell!" Young was able to get out! Blade leaves Wicked Sight lying in the ring, as he gets his belt back from the timekeeper's table... wait, what is this? Sunshine isn't giving him the belt!

WS: WHAT? Give the belt to the athlete!

SDP(On microphone): Blade, you lost the match by disqualification, yes... but you also VACATED the Greensboro Title before it started. THEREFORE, the winner of this match by DQ, and NEW GREENSBORO Champ--

BJ: NO! Sunshine was about to announce Wicked Sight's name, and Blade backhanded her! Blade grabs her by the hair and is pulling her into the ring!

WS: Well, she screwed him! She has no business doing that to an athlete the caliber of Blade!

BJ: Sunshine didn't screw Blade. BLADE screwed Blade-- HERE COMES MARK WINDHAM! HERE COMES MARK WINDHAM! Windham in there, and he's ALL OVER BLADE! Windham has come to Sunshine's aid, and look at her! She's in tears!

WS: What a basketcase this girl is...

BJ: That's not funny, Star! Nevertheless, Wicked Sight is being helped out of the ring with HIS Greenboro Title belt, Blade has been helped out of the arena by security, and Mark Windham is in the corner, holding onto Sunshine Del Payne! We'll be right back!


(CUT TO: The Multi-National Corporation Locker Room. Serf comes running in with two glasses of Chardonnay wine as Stanley, Jackson and Lord Alfred are watching the monitor.)

SERF: Here you are, Sirs... chilled wine like you asked.

LS: Ah, Ellis... How’s about me and you venture down to the rat’s nest locker room down there and speak to Blade about his match!

(CUT TO: Blade, limping into the back. Rudy Seitzer comes up to him.)

RS: Blade, what are your feelings about your title match with Wicked Sight--

(Out from the back come Stanley and Jackson, with Serf tagging along, and they jump him from behind, nailing the worn Blade with punches. Jackson grabs Blade from behind as Stanley boots him in the stomach. Stanley then DDT’s him on the cement floor.)

LS: That’s a reminder that the CSWA is now owned... by a Multi-National Corporation!


(CUT TO: The announcing table, as Broderick Jones turns to the camera. WildStar mugs behind him, and extends his fingers behind him, exposing all 5 fingers in his patended Five Star Hand Gesture.)

BJ: Folks... this next match has been the talk of the league for months. The Powers of Love (CUT TO: A shot of Eddy Love being baby-carried to the ring by Kevin Powers in happier PLR times.) were one of the all-time greatest tag teams in the CSWA... but egos... more importantly, EDDY LOVE’S ego got in the way-- (CUT TO: Eddy mouthing the words "It’s All About Eddy" to the camera.)

WS: Eddy Love’s ego? Eddy Love is, in my EXPERT opinion, one of the greatest all-time performers in this league. Kevin Powers got carried!

BJ: Carried? Then explain how Powers beat Eddy in their classic match during the round robin--

WS: Luck. Pure, dumb luck. If that match was put under amatuer rules, my man Eddy’s hand would be raised triumphant! He’s a 4.99 star wrestler-- only a little bit behind mine in terms of all-around ring perfection.

(CUE UP: "What’s Love Got to Do With It?" by Tina Turner. The lights dim, and the crowd stands up in anticipation. Love walks out the curtain first-- and the crowd begins to howl. Love’s got on an air-brushed T-Shirt of himself, sitting on a throne, with a skinny Kevin Powers lookalike on his knees, looking up at the caricature Eddy in awe. Sweet Melissa comes out next, wearing a tight black "sorority girl" type of dress. A crew of dudes in the front row hold up a sign that reads "Eddy Love Fan Club"-- they all have on long haired "70’s Southern Rock Band" wigs. Eddy rolls into the ring, and grabs the house mic.)

EL: (as an "Eddy Sucks" chant begins.) Well, if it ain’t TIME for you all to be in the EYE of a Hurricane! A swirling MAELSTROM of sex appeal... (Melissa blows a kiss to the camera.) and twisted steel! (Love flexes his bicep as the crowd boos.) Y’see, for MONTHS... for the past YEAR of my life, I wasted my precious valuble time hanging out with a no-talent like Kevin Powers... a total STIFF who wanted to get a rub from the man who is the best... the man who, frankly... RULES the world... because this league-- this planet-- is ALL about Eddy! (massive boos as Melissa applauds.) Now, what I’m out here to do is talk to you all about the NEW ERA of this sport... a new era that will be DOMINATED by me and my tag partner... just like the Powers of Love used to do, before Kevy Wevy got all uppitty! This New Era, tho... is gonna be different than the last, because I actually got someone to tag wtih me... who I respect. Not only as a wrestler, but as a man... Me and this guy... we’re tight!

BJ: It’s GOTTA be Deacon. Eddy has been going around saying that him and Deacon are "tight" for years.

EL: I want all you ham’n’eggers to GIVE IT UP... for my partner--

(Someone-- ROB SAMPSON-- in a nice, expensive Armani suit-- walks out to raucous cheers.)

RS: Yo, Eddy... no, I’m not out here to tag with you... I’m out here to tell these good people... what a loser you are. Now, Eddy, you and that little scabies nest you call a valet-- (Melissa kicks the ropes in anger.) can come out here and talk about how there’s going to be a "new era" and this and that... but there’s only going to be one era. And that’s The Age of Sampson... because I’m all about kicking Eddy Love’s ass! (The crowd cheers as Sampson walks back to the back.)

EL: Sampson, man... I’m touched that you came out here to say that to me, really... but no, what I want to do is have my partner come out here and--

([The lights go out and the Gregorian Chant begins with crowd popping HUGE.  Shepherd walks through the curtain dressed in his white robes and red sash.  He holds the curtain as Deacon steps through it dressed in his monk’s robe.]  

BJ: I suppose it IS true then. Deacon and Love take on Powers and his partner.

WS: Those two are gonna be unbeatable... but then again, Eddy Love is pretty much unbeatable anyway!

[Deacon continues to make his way to the ring led by Shepherd. Shepherd, who was carrying a mic with him, stops in the middle of the aisle to address the fans.]

SHEPHERD: The questions have been swirling around us for awhile now. What has happened with Eddy Love? That is the same question I continue to ask myself, to pray about for guidance, and to wonder about. For the life of me, I can not understand the CSWA right now. Maybe it’s the missing front office personnel? Maybe it’s the fact we’ve been on the road for a LONG time now? Or maybe it’s me? I watched Eddy Love go from counting Deacon his most sought-after rival to claiming Deacon is his best friend. I watched Eli Flair, someone I always knew had extreme ideals, go after his challenger with a tire iron BEFORE they wrestled.

[BOOS from crowd which slightly catch Shepherd offguard as he attempts to understand this turn; he continues though where he left off.]

I knew Eli was extreme in the ring, but out of it? I never thought he would attempt to ‘totally eliminate’ his opponent for no reason EXCEPT to weaken the competition, giving himself an easy match something I never would have imagined Eli desiring.

[More BOOS from the crowd as Shepherd trudges on through his monologue.]

But Eli, these things happen to come back to haunt you. Deacon may not understand everything about this language, but he does understand a 6’8" man weilding a tire iron will injure a 6’5" unarmed man running for his life. Deacon DOES understand the basics of competition and you, Eli Flair, crossed the line. In any other sport, you’d be banned faster than Tanya Harding could screw up a triple axl, but this isn’t ANY sport...this is wrestling. And in wrestling, we see to bans a bit differently, specifically a 7’1" man named Deacon.

[The crowd has a mixed response in this one, again Shepherd is confused but continues to trudge along.]

Eli, your time is coming, but it isn’t tonight. Tonight is Eddy Love’s night to hold onto the tag titles. Tonight is a man searching, I hope, for some reality to look at his excess against and find the TRUTH of TRULY abundant life. Tonight is...

(Eddy grabs the mic, as Melissa is laughing.)

EL: Shepherd... and my man Deacon... you see, I told you that we were tight. I told all of these people all along that we were pals... and WHY did I tell you that? Because, Shep... I wanted to prove to EVERYONE here that this league is All About Eddy... because Eddy Love is the BEST... because Eddy Love pulls the strings here... and, Shep-- you got played! Because, Shep... I’d NEVER tag with a moron like Deacon... because (rips off his T-shirt to reveal a singlet with the Playboy Bunny insignia on it.) I’m a Playboy... and Playboys only hang with other Playboys...

(CUT TO: Three people, under masks, hop the railing. Deacon goes right for the biggest one, but one on the side clips his knee. The third one grabs a chair, and smacks Deacon in the head, and the big one clubs Shepherd. The crowd is throwing stuff in the ring, not believing what they’re seeing.)

EL: Come here, doods... because it’s time for us to reveal what our deal is!

(The three masked men get in the ring... the masked man who swung the chair walks up to Eddy, makes a weird "Bunny Hand Gesture" and snatches the mic.)

MM: HOOOOOOOTIIEEEEEEEEE (The crowd leaps up, recognizing the voice) HOOOOOO! (Melissa rips off the mask and reveals that it’s Troy Windham. Troy and Eddy embrace in a bear hug as the crowd reigns down in boos. The other two masked men reveal themselves to be Junior Hornet and Bandit. Ring attendents are in the aisle, getting Deacon and Shepherd out of the aisle. Security has to hold them back.)

TW: Well, you see you MORONS... The Boy Troy and Easy-E here... we’ve been plotting this since Day 1. Two hot, sexy, pretty guys such as ourselves... we stick together. When you’ve got a face like this (Troy mugs for the camera with a canned "game show host" type of smile) and hair like Eddy’s (Eddy muses his long hair as he shakes his hips) you simply roll together. (Troy takes off his black shirt and reveals a matching Playboy Bunny singlet.) And when you’re Playboys like we are... you roll in style! (Melissa, Junior and Bandit are all golf clapping as Troy and Eddy climb to opposite second ropes and raise their hands in triumph.)

BJ: Troy Windham and Eddy Love are together!

WS: I think we can see that, idiot. I gotta applaud their efforts... we all thought they hated each other, but it’s all been a cunning ruse. What puppet-masters these two are... always getting in everyone’s head.

BJ: What a bomb dropped by... The Playboys here tonight... but we still gotta wait for Good God--

(CUT TO: The back. Powers is smiling, and he has another house mic in his hands. He struts to the ring as the crowd is chanting his name. Eddy addresses him first.)

EL: Hey, boy--- you got one last chance to come back to me like the turd you are... one last chance to carry my bags for me! (Melissa is mockingly holding the ropes for him.) Who you got with you, boy? Who’s your partner?

KP: (looking around grinning.) Well... it looks like only three-fourths of the party is here. Hey Eddy! You wanted to know who my partner was?

TW: Ya, who you got, El Nino? (The Soldiers crack up laughing at that.)

KP: No man... here he comes.....

V/O: The Dark Reign........Is Near.......

{Suddenly the arena goes pitch dark and is replaced with roaming blue spotlights except for one that illuminates the ring below. At the top of the rampway smoke begins to rise from the ground as Miso, along with an unbandaged and unleashed Susan, walk towards the ring. Miso is dressed up in Red leather boots and tight cut off blue jeans. She is also wearing a red and white tube top. Susan heads towards the ring dresssed in in the ways of old. She is wearing high heels with blue jeans and a old PLR shirt with an X over the L and R. Following them is the one they call Apocalypse. Dressed in his wresting gear he heads towards the ring brushing the blue hair out of his eyes every so often. As the three are finally in the ring Powers and Susan share a hug like no other while Apocalypse heads towards the center of the ring and looks off towards the crowd. After Miso takes off Apocalypse's cloak bomb-like pyro effects go off from the turnbuckle and the lights return to normal in the arena.}

BJ: KEVIN POWERS AND HIS ARCH-RIVAL APOCALYPSE! IT’S KEVIN POWERS AND APOCALYPSE!!!

WS: NO! NO! THAT’S NOT FAIR! THAT IS NOT FAIR!

(The crowd is going nuts. Eddy and Troy, who ran to the outside of the ring, can’t believe it. Them, and Melissa, huddle together for one last strategy session.)

BJ: This crowd can not believe it... Eddy Love’s bombshell announcement of the forming of The Playboys with Troy Windham has been topped by this... Kevin Powers and Apocalypse... those two are monsters! Unstoppable monsters!

WS: Well, if anyone can stop them, it’s Eddy and Troy. These two guys I know really well. Cagey veterans who’ll do ANYTHING to win. But you also gotta remember... Apocalypse is pure EVIL... you think he wants to win a title with Powers, or is just using this as a ploy to rid the world of him?

BJ: Powers and Apocalypse have huddled one last time... and Powers is going to start the match. Miguel Juarez is over to The Playboys corner... Powers points to Eddy! (The crowd erupts. Eddy starts to pantomime to the crowd "You want ME to start the match?) Oh, this is gonna be hot when they start and-- (Troy playfully hops in Eddy’s path. He tells Eddy to not worry about it, and then he turns to Good God and optically demeans Powers with a facial pout... while raising the roof.) This is the first time Troy Windham’s gonna be in the ring since his return... Eddy Love wants NO part of Kevin Powers.

WS: It’s all a head game, Jonesy... Powers is gonna be DESPERATE to go after Eddy, he’ll forget all about winning this match. Trust me... The Playboys know what’s up.

BJ: Powers and Troy have a collar-and-neck lockup to begin... and Powers just tosses Troy to the ground. Troy’s gotta have some ring rust on him.

WS: Troy’s always got ring rust, with his sterling work ethic.

BJ: Troy back up again... and again another lockup. And again, Powers tosses Troy to the mat! Troy’s looking up at Powers in disbelief!

WS: Powers is one STRONG man...

BJ: Troy is up again... and he goes for a lock- no, cheap kick to the stomach. He whips Powers to the ropes-- he backdrops the big man! Now Troy walks over... he drops an elbow and he gets up-- second elbow, and now he cinches in a reverse chinlock!

WS: Keeping Powers on the mat, trying to tire him out is a great strategy...

BJ: But Powers is up to his feet... elbow to Troy’s gut, and Powers bounces off the ropes-- BIG boot to Troy’s chest. The Boy Troy gets up, and he gets met with a clubbing forearm to his back! Troy now hits Powers with a quick thumb to the eye, and backs big Kevin to the corner... AND HE JUST SLAPPED POWERS RIGHT IN THE FACE! HOW DISRESPECTFUL!

WS: It’s all strategy...

BJ: Powers shoots out of that corner with the devil in him, and he charges Troy who backs to the far character-- Migul Juarez in between them, and Troy just thumbed Powers in the eye! Troy now stands on the second rope-- and he closelines the big man over!

WS: Windham and Love have been plotting this for months, Jones... they know how quickly Powers can lose his cool, and they’re going to use that to their advantage.

BJ: Troy is now stomping away on Good God... and is picking him up by his hair... (he turns to the crowd and yells "HOOTIE HOO" to boos.) NO! Powers with a headbutt! And another... (the crowd is cheering) POWERS MUSCLES WINDHAM UP AND SLAMS HIM HARD TO THE MAT! Powers turns around and... he tags in Apocalypse! (The crowd erupts at that.) Troy sees who’s coming into the ring... and he wisely heads for the corner! (Troy smacks in Eddy Love, who pauses before entering.)

WS: Watch now, because Eddy Love is gonna take this goof apart!

BJ: Apocalypse and Love are now squared off, and Eddy immediately drops and takes Apocalypse down with a single-leg takedown. Eddy up quick, drops an elbow to Apocalypse’s knee... Eddy wrenches the knee, and Apocalypse boots Eddy off, Love bounces off the ropes and Apocalypse hops up and drops down-- leapfrog, and Apcoalypse gets back up and drops Love with a big elbow!

WS: For someone so big, Apocalypse moves like a cat... or even like me!

BJ: Apoc now picks Love up... and whips him off the ropes-- HE HAS LOVE BY THE THROAT AND HOISTS HIM-- no, Love wisely thumps the dark lord in the eye... Love with a headbutt to the stomach, bounces off the rope and falls-- BIG UPPERCUT BY THE FORMER WORLD CHAMPION!

WS: Eddy Love can brawl with the best of them...

BJ: Now Love bounces off the ropes-- knee drop to Apocalypse’s face. (The crowd begins to rhythmically clap for Powers and Apoc. Junior Hornet turns to the crowd and tries to hush them up.) Love picks up Apocalypse again... STANDING DROPKICK!

WS: You see the height that he got up there? That’s Michael Jordan-like hangtime!

BJ: Love goes for the cover- 1...2...no. Love now spins around and grabs the big man’s arms, and puts a knee into his back, wrenching it.

WS: Moves like that don’t look like they do much, but believe me-- they hurt. Especially when a ring tactician like Eddy Love applies them!

BJ: Will you listen to this crowd rallying behind Apocalypse of all people? They’re getting Apocalypse up to his feet-- Eddy can’t believe it, trying to muscle him back down... Eddy whips Apoc to the ropes and goes for a close-- Apocalypse ducks under and bounces off the far ropes and hits a closeline of his own that sends Eddy Love out of his day-glo boots!

WS: Look at Powers, he wants in BAD!

BJ: Eddy Love is slowly getting up... and so is Apocalypse! Eddy grabs Apocalypse’s leg to keep him from making the tag but-- APOCALYPSE TAGGED IN POWERS! POWERS COMES IN A HOUSE A FIRE! HE CHARGES EDDY-- (the crowd erupts in boos) but Eddy Love rolls to his corner and tags in Troy Windham! Kevin Powers is beside himself at Eddy Love’s REFUSAL to face him so far in this match.

WS: It’s all a headgame. If Powers wasn’t so bent on revenge, he’d concentrate on The Boy Troy...

BJ: Powers goes right after the Texan, and hits him with a left jab that sends Troy to the mat! Powers is going in for a series-- but Troy rolls to the ropes and Juarez makes Powers stop. TROY KICKS POWERS IN THE GROIN AND JUAREZ DIDN’T SEE IT!

WS: He never seems to make the right call, this guy!

BJ: Now Troy gets up... and he hits that Double-Arm DDT of his on Powers! He hooks the leg... 1....2....NO! Troy now hops up to the middle rope... DOUBLE AXE-HANDLE TO GOOD GOD’S HEAD! Troy now grabs Powers arm and drags him over to the corner... (the crowd boos as NOW Eddy Love tags in!) AND EDDY LOVE WANTS IN NOW! Eddy hops to the top real quick-- drops an axehandle on Kevin’s shoulder! He turns around and grabs Powers in a hammerlock-- tosses him into his corner where The Boy Troy hits Powers with a jab and-- EDDY LOVE USES KEVIN’S MOMENTUM TO HOIST HIM UP IN A BELLY-TO-BACK SUPLEX!

WS: Quick double-team work from these Playboys... reminiscent of myself and Tsunami!

BJ:Now Eddy is laying the boots to Powers! Eddy grabs Powers by the hair and lifts him up, and he picks up the big man... SHOULDERBREAKER! Eddy on top of Kevin... 1...2..NO! Powers kicks out. Now Eddy has Powers, and he reaches back and tags in Troy Diggiddy!

WS: The Playboys have been plotting this moment forever...

BJ: Now Troy hops in and he measures Kevin up... and kicks him in the stomach. Troy bounces off the ropes-- FLYING FOREARM SMASH! 1...2..NO! Powers kicks out. (The crowd is rallying again.) Troy picks Kevin up, and whips-- no, reversal-- DESPERATION BIG BOOT TO TROY’S FACE! Kevin falls down from exhaustion, and Troy collapsed like a heap of bricks! (The crowd is clapping) Powers is slowly getting up... and so is Troy... Powers goes to tag Apoc-- (the crowd boos) APOCALYPSE SHORTARMED POWERS! APOCALYPSE REFUSES TO TAG IN! WHAT A JERK!

WS: HA! I guess this whole UnHoly Alliance between these two is just so Apocalypse can play with his mind some more...

BJ: It was too good to be true, to think that Apocalypse wanted to win the tag belts with his arch rival... Troy tags in Eddy, who struts (Eddy busts out a quick version of The Fargo Strut) to Powers and boots him in the ribs! Now Love again boots him to the ribs, and now drags him to the corner... he tags in Troy, who climbs to the top! LOVE HITS A BACKBREAKER TO POWERS AND TROY COMES OFF THE TOP WITH AN ELBOW DROP!

WS: Haven’t seen that move since the days of The Boulevard Warriors here in the CSWA!

BJ: Troy is showboating... and he slowly goes over and covers Powers! This is gonna be it! 1.....2......NO! APOCALYPSE DOVE IN AND BROKE UP THE PIN! I don’t understand... one minute ago, he refused to tag in, and now he’s breaking up the pinfall!

WS: All a part of his master plan...

BJ: Eddy Love now comes in... and he’s swinging at Apocalypse! He’s hitting some chops into Apocalypse’s chest... and Troy’s up, doing the same to Good God! They back this UnHoly Alliance back into opposite corners and whip them in... no, reversal! Troy and Eddy put the breaks on, and turn around-- DOUBLE FACE KICKS TO THE PLAYBOYS! They turn around... POWERS CLOTHESLINES LOVE AND APOCALYPSE CLOTHESLINES TROY!

WS: You see how Love and Troy almost completely flipped over? Man, those were some stiff shots.

BJ: Powers now has Eddy up and he whips him in-- no, Eddy reverses and POWERS JUST NAILED MANUEL JUAREZ!!! MANUEL JUAREZ FALLS LIKE A SACK OF BRICKS!!!

WS: Any time a ref goes down... you can make sure that the No Limit Soldiers are gonna get involved!

BJ: And don’t forget that evil, evil Miso on the outside... Apocalypse has Troy in the corner, and he’s potato-ing him with a series of punches... Powers has Love in the corner, and he’s measuring him up with big elbow smashes.

WS: But look out there! Here comes trouble...

BJ: Sweet Melissa is on the apron, and she’s yelling at Powers! Powers walks over to shoo her away and-- JUNIOR HORNET SNEAKS IN BEHIND AND CLUBS GOOD GOD WITH A CHAIR TO THE BACK! Powers is hunched over and IS MET WITH A DDT FROM EDDY LOVE! Junior Hornet is celebrating... what a kiss-butt that clown is, always cheating for Troy Windham! He used to be a tag champ, but now he’s just a lackey!

WS: But he’s the best lackey in the business!

BJ: Junior Hornet’s on the second rope, showboating for the fans and... Apocalypse leaves Troy, who’s slouched in the corner, and decks Junior who didn’t see him coming! Eddy Love sees this, and he clips Apoc’s knee! Now Troy slides outside the ring and collapses... Eddy and Junior Hornet are stomping on Apocalypse... but Powers comes from out of nowhere and... DOUBLE BULLDOG ON JUNIOR AND EDDY LOVE!!! Powers helps Apocalypse up as The Playboys roll to the floor... BUT APOCALYPSE SHOVES HIM! POWERS SHOVES HIM RIGHT BACK!!! These two are in each other’s faces right here!

WS: Powers has to just worry about himself here, and not helping out his partner, except when the straps are on the line. Apoc might kill him!

BJ: But that gives Bandit... Troy Windham’s HUGE bodyguard... a chance to come in! He closelines Apocalypse from behind, which sends the leader of the underworld down to the floor! Now Bandit... and Kevin Powers... two HUGE men are face to face-- NO! MISO SNEAKS IN UNDER THE ROPES!!! JUMPING SAVATE KICK TO BANDIT’S HEAD!!!

WS: Concussions are NOT fun.

BJ: Powers is now laying in some SERIOUS shots on Bandit, who’s backed into the corner... WAIT! JUNIOR HORNET JUST GRABBED MISO FROM BEHIND! HE WAS ON THE RING APRON! He’s laughing... MISO FLIPS HIM OVER! Junior’s holding his back... and Miso reaches into her... well, her cleavage top and has something-- SHE JUST LAUNCHED A FIREBALL INTO JUNIOR HORNET’S FACE! Apocalypse can’t believe it! He’s SMILING at this and-- BANDIT JUST SLUGGED HIM IN THE HEAD! Now he has Miso BY THE THROAT-- CHOKESLAM! BANDIT JUST CHOKESLAMMED MISO!!!

WS: Hitting a girl is one of the more underrated thrills in the world of professional wrestling...

BJ: Stop it, now. Powers now grabs Bandit- boot to the stomach, hoists him up... PRESS SLAM ON THE HUGE BIKER!!! Apocalypse is getting up... and HE JUST CLIPPED POWERS IN THE BACK FROM BEHIND WITH AN AXEHANDLE! Apocalypse can’t believe that Miso got chokeslammed!

WS: That coward Powers did NOTHING about it either!

BJ: Now Troy Windham slithers in the ring and punches Kevin Powers from behind... and Apocalypse is just letting him do that! Troy whips Kevin into the ropes... LARIAT STYLE CLOTHESLINE! Melissa is sliding in a table... Apoc goes over and grabs Troy-- EDDY LOVE FLIES OFF THE TOP ROPE WITH A FLYING FISTDROP THAT SENDS APOCALYPSE REELING!

WS: Ah, the extracurricular activities look like they’re about to pick up!

BJ: Troy is setting up that table... and he lays Powers across it... Eddy Love whips Apocalypse into the corner... HORNET SPLASH ONTO APOCALYPSE! Troy is climbing up to the top rope...

WS: This will take Powers out!

BJ: Eddy Love has Apocalypse up... THAT"S IT! THAT’S IT! THAT SPINNING HURRICANE PILEDRIVER!!!! APOCALYPSE IS OUT... and Eddy Love is on the mat in exhaustion! (Melissa is POUNDING on the mat...) Troy’s perched on the top-- KEVIN POWERS SITS UP! HE GETS UP AND PUNCHES TROY! Troy is stuck on the top... and Powers climbs up... POWERS HAS TROY-- OHHHHHHHH NOOOO!!!! (Troy Windham’s body crashes through the table. The crowd lets out a collective sigh of disbelief, followed by a "Pow-ers, Pow-ers" chant.) KEVIN POWERS JUST SPUN AROUND AND POWERBOMBED TROY WINDHAM OFF THE TOP ROPE THROUGH THAT TABLE!!!

WS: What a move! All 4 men are out cold now!

BJ: Melissa climbs into the ring... she picks up the fallen Juarez... EDDY LOVE DRAPES HIS ARM ACROSS APOCALYPSE! And Powers.... POWERS FALLS ON TOP OF WINDHAM! Juarez makes the count.... 1.......2........3!!!!!! (The bell rings, and the crowd starts applauding!)

WS: THE PLAYBOYS WIN! THE PLAYBOYS WIN!

BJ: Don’t so sure, WildStar... Juarez has the 2 tag belts in his hand... (Powers is slowly getting up on one knee.) Melissa grabs the titles from Juar-- JUAREZ JUST GRABBED THE TITLES BACK! HE HANDS THEM TO KEVIN POWERS! KEVIN POWERS AND APOCALYPSE WON! KEVIN POWERS AND APOCALYPSE WON!!! WILL YOU LISTEN TO THIS CROWD!

WS: What a rip-off! These good, North Carolina fans were RIPPED off here!

BJ: They don’t seem to think so... (The crowd is all on its feet, applauding Kevin Powers. Powers climbs to the middle turnbuckle, and takes both the tag straps and hoists them in the air. Melissa is consoling Eddy Love, who is on all fours trying to get up... Powers sees Apoc lying on the ground, and he drapes his title across him, and then goes back to another corner to celebrate. Eddy Love sees him and gets a second wind, hops up and charges him--) EDDY LOVE JUST ATTACKED KEVIN POWERS FROM BEHIND! Now Bandit’s rolling back to the ring... him and Love have Love up- DOUBLE FACEBUSTER! Here comes someone from the back-- NO! IT’S MIKEY BERETTA, ANOTHER NO LIMIT SOLDIER!

WS: Yes, this kid is picking and choosing his spots!

BJ: Berretta grabs a chair and rolls in and NAILS the helpless Powers with it! Troy is now getting up... he has Apocalypse... SLACKKNIFE REVERSE NECKBREAKER! The Playboys lost the match, but they want to take Powers and Apocalypse out for good!

WS: Don’t forget they also have help for The No Limit Soldiers!

BJ: Troy is stomping away on Apocalypse... and Bandit and Berretta have Powers up! Love has the belt, he’s gonna smack Powers in the face with it-- NO! SOMEONE’S BUM RUSHING THE RING-- IT’S DEACON! IT"S DEACON! IT’S DEACON! DEACON GOES STRAIGHT FOR EDDY LOVE-- HE TAKES HIM DOWN WITH A CLOTHESLINE! AND THERE’S ONE FOR BERETTA! THERE’S ONE FOR BANDIT! SOMEONE ELSE IS COMING DOWN-- THAT’S ELI! THE WORLD CHAMP IS HERE! Eli in the ring, and he’s ALL OVER WINDHAM! TROY CAN’T BELIEVE IT! ELI IS CLOCKING HIM WITH A SERIES OF BLOWS!!

WS: Security! We need security!

BJ: Troy and Eddy are trying to fight back... Troy pushes Eli back-- AND OH NO! ELI JUST HIT DEACON! NOW EDDY LOVE WALLOPS DEACON WITH A CLOSELINE!!! Troy and Eddy see this... and now Eli and Deacon are back up... DEACON SWINGS AT ELI! ELI SHOVES DEACON! THEY’RE IN EACH OTHERS FACES! THEY TACKLE EACH OTHER! DEACON AND ELI ARE ALL OVER EACH OTHER!!!

WS: They deserve it for sticking their nose in Playboy business like that!

BJ: Powers is up, and he’s trying to separate-- SOMEONE JUST HOPPED THE RAILING! THAT’S-- OH MY GOD!!!! THAT’S MARK WINDHAM! THAT’S MARK WINDHAM!!! Troy looks like a ghost, and him and Eddy Love just hop out of the ring... Windham sees Troy running... AND APOCALYPSE JUST HIT MARK WINDHAM FROM BEHIND WITH ONE OF THOSE TITLES! SOMEONE ELSE IS COMING DOWN HERE-- THAT’S X! THAT’S X! X SPRINGBOARDS TO THE TOP-- DROPKICK ON APOCALYPSE! FOLKS, WE’RE OUT OF TIME!!

WS: NO!

(Fade to black)


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