Happy Hour from end of August on front page.

If you're reading my column that the web geeks of the CSWA live to put up, then we've established you're smarter than the average bear. Seeing as how the status quo of a bear's mental abilities is equal to the fat on Vice Commissioners AJ Honold's face, that ain't sayin much.

Most of you are illiterate so the fact that school is back is session means very little. I, however, will give my loyal readers a brief history lesson.

Ten years ago, to the day. Fires in Yellowstone National Park continued to burn a 3rd of the park's resources. In mid September only the season's first snow fall could do what thousands of fire fighters couldn't.

Now in 1998. Another fire torched a good portion of FISH FUND Park. Yellowstone has since made a remarkable recovery. Time will tell whether FISH FUND Park does too.

My only regret on August the 10th, is that Co-Commissioner Chad Merritt didn't go down with the ship. Merritt I've taken your abuse over the years simply because I've grown accustomed to eating $30 steaks.

Remembering Timmy marks the final date under my contract. You know my demands. If you want to keep the CSWA's greatest asset you best fork over the money. Now, my freakish friend I hold the Ace card. And you know what I'm referring too.

I'm raising my asking price by $500,000. I want Teri "Melons" Melton fired. Every poster of my face at every concession stand removed. I'll be 'served' when I want, where I want.

Don't try me, Merritt. I'm sure you're smart enough to realize I've won. Balk, and I'll reveal more than the fact that at my audition eleven years ago you made me roleplay as The Chief from the tv show Gimme A Break.

You kids don't like it? Write me. Because I'm Sammy Benson. And
I don't care.