SDP: What did you find?

VCV: Merritt IS, in fact at his house in the Caymans. And I was able to do some political maneuvering to get the next scheduled stop to be very close. I don't think Thomas will even bat an eye.

SDP: You're sure. We can't risk anything at this point. It's sink or swim, and I don't think sinking is an option. We're the only thing keeping Thomas from completely undermining the entire promotion. Everything he and Merritt worked for. And, since I own ten percent of the company, I might be a silent partner but I'm still a partner.

VCV: Wherever Vizzack is, I'm sure he's proud of the job you're doing.

SDP: You... you really think so?

VCV: Definitely.

(Fadeout)

(Cut To: Darkness... CUE UP: "The Wretched" - nine inch nails. A figure can be barely made out in the shadows.)

MAN: X... Marks the SPOT.

(Fadeout)

(Eddy Love is in the parking lot apparently handing a back stage pass to a fine young lady, approximately 17 years old. As the camera approaches we pick up on their already ongoing conversation.)

GIRL:  So how you want me to get him out of there? You want me to show him these?

(She raises her shirt)

LOVE:  Good God no, you'll scare him to death. Tell him your parents brought you on this trip to celebrate being elected vice president of your FCA chapter, and every since you saw Troy Windham you've had the urge to lose your virginity and you were hoping he would pray about it with you..

GIRL:  (laughing) Right….. Eddy what's FCA?

LOVE:  Fellowship of……. Oh never mind just pull the losing your virginity line it'll work.

(Cut To: Troy Windham's locker room. Troy is on a cell phone, talking to someone.)

TW: Yeah, you know what the dilly is for tonight. The NO LIMIT Soldiers are gonna bust some shiz-it up... Yeah... Yeah, I've got that covered, too. Eddy and Elias won't know what hit 'em. But--

(A knock on the door)

Hold up a sec? Coo.

(Troy opens the door, to see two police officers standing there.)

#1: Troy Alexander Windham?

TW: Yeah, who wants to know?

#1: Troy Windham, you're under arrest for suspicion of drug possession and soliciting minors for sexual favors. You have the right to remain--

TW: What? What the hiz-el are you talking about?

#2: We received a videotape wherein you make a reference to "Banging 8th Graders," as well as engaging in drug use with minors.

(They cuff Windham, who is still arguing.)

#1: I told you, you have the right to remain silent! Officer, schedule a body cavity search.

TW: WHAT?

#1: Don't stop until you reach the back of his teeth.

(They pull Troy out of the dressing room, and as he is being taken out, they pass Poison Ivy.)

IVY: You know, Troy.... where you're going, they screw people in a very uncomfortable place.

TW: You dirty Rat.... I'll get you for this, skank!

IVY: I'm sure.

(FADEOUT)

BB (V/O): This program is a CS Enterprises production, and is presented in conjunction with U-62 Television.

(Fade in on Eli Flair vs. Eddy Love from CSWA ANNIVERSARY '99: Revelation)

SB:  Eddy was just toying with everyone before... now it's time for him to show everyone what greatness is all about!

BB:  Love has Eli back up- (a chant of ELI begins again) He whips Eli to the rop- Eli reverses, he drops down, Love off the far ropes- DROPKICK FROM ELI! Eddy Love rolls out of the ring.

SB:  He's just toying, getting his momentum back... trust me, Buckley!

BB:  Eli bounces off the ropes- HE'S NOT LETTING LOVE REST! SLIDING DROPKICK UNDER THE BOTTOM ROPE! Love goes flying into the railing hard! Eli hits him once, he hits him again- NO! Eddy Love chops Eli in the neck.

SB:  HA! Look at that freak moron gasp for air... Eddy Love knows SOOO many ways to cheat- wait, I mean hurt you.

BB:  Pee Wee Troutman is trying to get these guys in the ring, but I doubt he'll be able to... not with the King of Hardcore out there. Love punches Eli- NO! Eli blocks it! Thumb to the eye! Eli grabs love- he whips him HARD into the railing! Now Eli whips Love- NO! Short-arm whip into the rail! And again!

SB:  What does this freak think he's doing, combining his brawling with wrestling?

BB:  Just that, Sammy... Eli Flair is a brawler, and a technician. Eli now has Eddy Love, and he rolls him back into the ring... Eli (the crowd stands on its FEET as Eli's going under the ring) ELI'S GETTING A TABLE! ELI'S GETTING A TABLE! Flair slides the table into the ring-- and- OH! MELISSA JUST CROTCHED ELI! MELISSA JUST CROTCHED ELI! Eli falls to the floor... and Eddy sees an opportunity.

SB:  Atta girl, Melissa!

BB:  How could you root for them?

SB:  It's THEIR show, Buckley's... not yours!

BB:  Love rolls out of the ring... (Melissa looks into the camera's eye and says "Now you'll see why they call him The Love Machine!") and he has Eli, and rolls him back into the ring. Kick... kick... Eddy Love is starting to punish The King of-

SB:  The King of Retards!

BB:  Sammy... didn't you learn from Gertner last week? Keep the harsh comments down... Eddy whips Eli into the corner- Eli bounces off- EDDY LOVE WITH A RELEASED GERMAN SUPLEX!

SB:  HA! Eddy Love RULES... every match, he breaks out something new from his arsenal.

BB:  Eddy stomps on Eli one more time... now- (the crowd starts to get up on its feet.) LOVE IS SETTING UP THE TABLE! He lays out Eli on it... and Love- (Eddy points at his crotch) LOVE IS CLIMBING TO THE TOP!

SB:  THIS IS IT! THIS IS IT!

BB:  Love is going to- (the crowd erupts) WAIT! THAT'S- THAT'S- THAT'S STEVE RADDER! THAT'S STEVE RADDER! STEVE RADDER IS ON THE APRON AND HE'S DISTRACTING LOVE! ELI'S GETTING UP!

SB:  NO! This should be a DQ!

BB:  ELI PUNCHES LOVE ONCE- TWICE... FLAIR ON THE TOP ROPE... SUPERPLEX THROUGH THE TABLE! 1....2.....3! ELI FLAIR WINS!

(Fade out)

SB: Don't think for a SECOND that it won't happen, either! And that loser Kevin Powers is gonna lose that Unified Tag Title soon enough. All the gold for Eddy!

BB: Sammy... Kevin Powers is just as likely to take that title as Eddy is.

SB: Puh-LEEZE! Kevin Powers is a loser. -I- could take him.

BB: You're sure?

SB: Abso-tively, posa-lutely.

BB: Glad to hear it... because here he comes.

SB: WHAT?

['(Can't You)Trip Like I Do' - Filter and The Crystal Method begins to play as 'Good God' Kevin Powers makes his way from out of the back and heads towards the ring. He is wearing jeans and a Planet Hollywood black and silver jersey along with the Tag Belt riding his shoulder. As he makes it in the ring he pulls out a mic from his back pocket and holds out his other hand to silence the crowd.]

KP:  Trinidad....Good God is IN DA HOUSE!!! Now I know that there are many things going on in the CSWA. Some in the locker room and some at the main offices, but NEVERLESS I plan on getting this out cause it just has to be done! Seems that my tag team partner and curtain-jerker Eddy Love wanted to throw out a challenge and he decided to bring Deacon to the dance. So, right now, I'm gonna introduce MY tag partner. Someone I can count on in a time of need! Get ready Eddy Love you son of a unnamed goat cause here he comes right now!

['Bulls on Paradise' - Rage Against the Machine begins to play and 'Iceman' Steve Radder makes his way out to the cheer of the fans. As he makes his way in he shakes hands with Powers and they both play the crowd. Soon Radder goes for his own microphone.]

KP:  Steve. I can't begin to tell you it's great to see ya. Now what we need to do is get our mind focused cause when we face Love and Deacon in the ring.....

SR:  Kevin it's great to be out here with you once again, but there is something I've been meaning to tell you.

KP:  Yeah sure what's that?

SR:  I'm not gonna be able to be there for that fight.

KP:  What? Busy doing what?

SR:  I've... I've gotta leave the promotion.

KP:  Well screw that man! We get the chance to beat the tar out of Eddy! I know how much you want to dig your meat hooks into him again.

SR:  Definitely, big man... but this is something I have to do. I have to do what's right for Steve Radder right now.

KP:  But.....

SR:  I'm sorry.....

[Radder begins to head out of the ring and towards the back. The cameras soon cut back to Powers who is watching Radder head towards the back and is obviously in disgust.]

KP:  Well.....Hmmm.....Yeah.

[Powers then drops the microphone and hops over the steel railing and heads into the crowd. Back to Buckley and Benson.]

BB: Powers needs a partner.

SB: Powers needs a shower.

BB: Sammy... will you ever learn?

SB: Learn what? Leave me alone.

BB: Whatever, Sammy. We've got a double debut match to start things off here, as "The Corporate Raider" Ellis Jackson takes on "The Real" Wes Anderson. Jackson looks impressive, Sammy.

SB: He's got what it takes, I think, to make it in the CSWA.

This match wasn't the caliber of the Flair/Radder sixty minute marathon, but these two men did a far better job than most rookies do in their debut match in the CSWA. Wes Anderson started things off with a side headlock into a takedown. He kept Jackson on and off the mat for a good three minutes or so, until Jackson was able to send Anderson into the ropes and hit a perfectly- executed dropkick! It was all Jackson from that point on, keeping Anderson off balance with a mix of technical and power moves, finally finishing the job at the ten minute mark with "The Hostile Takeover!"

WINNER: Ellis Jackson

BB: Impressive showing by "The Corporate Raider," wouldn't you say, Sammy?

SB: He's arrogant. He's snobbish. He likes to push people down.

BB: I noticed that, too. Still, he's a capable wrestler.

SB: What do you mean, "Still?" I LOVE THIS GUY!

BB: You never change, do you?

SB: Why should I?

BB: Never mind... what is that music?

[Clawfinger's "The Biggest and the Best" rips out over the Cruise Liner sound system as "Mr. Main Event" Rob Sampson walks out from the back and heads to the ring. The crowd seems to be confused by Sampson's presence but cheer him on anyway. Sampson climbs up onto the apron and then hops over the top rope into the ring. He then asks for and receives the house microphone. Sampson looks out at the capacity crowd with a determined look on his face as he begins to speak.]

Rob Sampson:  It seems that to get anywhere here, you have to some stroke. Well I may be one of the newer kids on the block, but I can fend for myself. Gone are the days where Rob Sampson works his butt off and still ends up on his back for some jabronie. Those of you in the know are laughing to yourself because you know exactly what I'm talking about. But as far as I can tell, the only way I'm gonna get some respect around here is if I call out one of the big boys. So I'll do just that. For years, I've heard guys in locker rooms across the world say that if they were going to fear one man, it'd be the man I'm about to call out. Well, I do NOT fear this man because I've beaten him before, and I can do it again. So... APOCALYPSE...get your lethargic, melancholy ass out here and face me like a man!

[After a couple of seconds, on the PA system, the words 'The Dark Reign is Near...' can be heard. After that. blue spotlights begin to roam the arena with one looming over the ring as "Clubbed to Death" by Rob D begins to pump out of the PA System. At the enterance way smoke begins to form on the ground as Apocalypse makes his way out. He starts to head towards the ring but Sampson gets his attention before he can do so.]

Rob Sampson:  Hold it right there, big man! Everything I have to say to you can be said from right here. Ever since I came to the CSWA, I've been watching you and your little band of misfits treat this promotion like it's your bitch. I'm not impressed. Do you remember Mile High Wrestling, Apocalypse? Do you remember Stable Wars? Need I remind you that it was ME who put down for the count during that match!? I told you then, and I'm telling you now; don't step into my world!! I see that you're a big shot around here, Apocalypse, and I know that by beating you yet again in the middle of that ring, I can finally get the respect I deserve here. So the challenge is there in front of you. All you have to do is be a man and accept it!!

[Apocalypse reaches behind his back and pulls out a microphone.]

Apocalypse:  Another voice that dares to be heard. Yes Rob Sampson I know of your history and the claim you have made, but you only gave bits and pieces to all that care to hear. Did Sampson face Apocalypse? Yes he did, but the end result, I believe, was far different from what you care to say. Back then it was your Hardcore Mafia that dared to challenge my UnHoly Alliance. The end result was that the federation closed before anything could be resolved. Now you dare to bring up a issue that should be dead and buried?

Very well if that is what you wish. And since you have this buring desire to create a situation let's make the stakes more interesting. After the destruction of Wylde and Deacon you can come down to the ring and we will have our match.....TONIGHT!

Rob Sampson:  Your dance card is full tonight, Apocalypse. As much as "Mr. Main Event" wants a piece of you, he wants you at full strength.

Apocalypse:  Neverless. You made the request and now it has been granted. Now the only question you need ask yourself is if you can survive against The Apocalypse. And, that answer, is NO!

[After that bomb-like pyro effects go off from the ring post and Apocalypse's music starts back up as he exits the ring area]

BB: Let's get back to ringside.

Two men, threatening to climb up in the rankings. Two men who have graced the CSWA stage before. Two men... but only one could advance. GP started off with a clothesline and a quick slam, but only got a two count. This opened up the floodgates, and GP exacted some rage all over Delmar. It didn't stop the youngster, in fact, it only seemed to make him more determined than before. His chance came when Protege mistimed a backdrop and Delmar was able to reverse it into a DDT! Like himself, GP kicked out at two, but the momentum had been altered. Delmar stayed on top, finally getting the pin at the nine minute mark with a powerbomb and a handful of tights.

WINNER: Marcus Delmar

BB:  Well, it's time for another match between two young stars here in the CSWA, as both Torrance and "Showtime" Mikey Berretta are heading to the ring.

SB:  More anonymous jobbers! Where's my martini? Who are these guys anyway?

BB:  Well... Sammy, if you had been paying attention, you would know something about these guys. Torrance has been extremely silent as of late, and Berretta- well, he's very up front about what he thinks of his talents.

SB:  Oh yeah, I have seen Mikey... he has said a lot about his skills... loud-mouthed, arrogant... I might actually not drink during this match!

(CUT TO:  The ring. Torrance, in his darkness, is skulking in the corner. Beretta, wearing a buttoned-down shirt and jeans, has grabbed the house mic.)

BB:  What is this kid doing?

MB:  Listen up- I want all of you IDIOTS on this ship here to shut your holes for a minute and PAY RESPECT to someone who is a REAL WRESTLER! (Boos from the crowd.) Y'know, this was supposed to be my first CSWA match-- -- (Beretta stops and looks at the jeering crowd.) That's okay... I'll wait. (Boos.) You see, morons, what you're looking at is someone who commands SHOWTIME... what you're looking at is someone who is the best-

BB:  I wish this kid would shut up and wrestle already!

SB:  Pipe down! I like this kid!

MB:  -the best young talent this company has to offer. I'm sick of seeing all these OLD ham'n'eggers come out and say how great they are, but NONE of them will step in the ring with me- with SHOWTIME Mikey Beretta. That's why I'm not in my European singlet now... because, Torrance- whipping YOU pillar to post does NOTHING for my career. What I want is someone from the back with EXPERIENCE! Someone from the back with TALENT to come down here so I can make them LAY DOWN for SHOWTIME! Someone- anyone! Come on! Hellloooo? Anyone there? Hel-

BB:  This kid is REALLY annoying me. (Right then, a voice from the back going "HOOTIE HOO" pipes up, followed by "Song 2" by Blur.) What was that- (CUT TO the entrance. A BIG GOLD TANK appears on the runway. On the tank is TROY WINDHAM- wearing a "Troy2K" T-shirt, and flanked by the leather-clad biker-like BANDIT, and the cape-wearing, eye-goggle having JUNIOR HORNET.) Beretta is bugging out, and Torrance just stares.

BB:  IT'S TROY! IT'S TROY! THE NO LIMIT SOLDIERS! THIS IS WHAT HE PROMISED!

SB:  So what? He always hangs out with Bandit and Junior Hornet... you couldn't guess these guys were gonna be here?

BB:  I guess you're right, Sammy... Troy DOES always hang with these guys. (The crowd is abuzz. Troy gets up on the tank, mic in hand.)

TW:  Yo, Mikey... heard you calling someone out... someone with experience? And The Boy Troy put 2 and 2 together, dude... I got Junior Hornet, I got the baddest bodyguard in the sport Bandit... and we want a match TONIGHT. So... why don't you and Trenchcoat Mafia (Torrance flinches at that comment. Bandit is mashing his fist, as Junior Hornet is raising the roof. Mikey is staring at Troy) over there team up against MY BOYS?

BB:  Bandit and Junior want Mikey! Man... I don't like Troy at all, but I can't WAIT to see them shut this punk up!

MB:  Troy... (said sarcastically, does the "rabbit ears.") Mr. KING of all MEDIA... you want me to show you why they call me Showtime? Hey, Torrance man- you wanna show these GOONS what's up? (Torrance nods his head slowly once. He turns to square off. Junior Hornet hops the ropes, Bandit walks over Nash-style.) Alright Troy... you got what you asked for!

BB:  Torrance squares off against Bandit and- OH NO! PEARL HARBOR JOB BY MIKE BERETTA! OH MY GOD! MIKEY JUST TOOK OUT TORRANCE'S KNEE FROM BEHIND! Look at this kid laugh!

SB:  HA! This kid has it man!

BB:  Now Windham in the ring... oh man, this was a set-up all along! Troy Windham will do ANYTHING for a second of camera time! Bandit has Torrance up... CHOKESLAM! Junior Hornet, that gutless worm, is stomping on him... and Troy and Mikey hug! Now Mikey sees Torrance... and he's lying on top of him! And Troy is counting the pin... (Troy slaps the mat three times slowly.) No... not again with the mic!

MB:  I WIN! I WIN! I WIN! I CAN'T BELIEVE IT, WRESTLING FANS! (The crowd is booing ridiculously. Mikey unbuttons his shirt- it reads NLS.) Oh ya... one more thing... I'M A NO LIMIT SOLDIER! I THOUGHT THAT I TOLD YA! (Mikey laughing and pointing at Torrance.)

TW:  Yo- B, Junior... let's roll... and for all you idiots out there- be expecting to see my black booty during the main event! (Troy, Mikey, Junior and Bandit walk out together...)

BB:  Let me be the first to say... I HATE the No Limit Soldiers.

SB:  Hootie Hoo!

BB:  I wish this kid would shut up and wrestle already!

quickly hit a brainbuster, and then a big DDT! He immediately covered Havoc, and got the 1... 2... 3!!!!

Seitzer: Ladies and Gentlemen, please welcome my guest at this time, the number one contender for the Greensboro title, "The English Gent" Lawrence Stanley.

(Stanley's music goes and he walks out in a suit alongside Alfred. With the exception of a few people wearing Stanley's "The English Gent" - Hard to the Core" T-shirt the crowd boos and throws thing at him. He, in turn, reprimands and verbally abuses them.)

Seitzer: So Lawrence, I understand you have something you want to get off your chest?

LS: First off imbecile, I thought I told you to me as "The English gent" or Mr. Stanley. Now get out of my sight before I leave you 'Facedown!'

(Stanley grabs the microphone, pushing Rudy out of the way.)

LS: Blade, I want to talk to you. I am so disappointed in you. I thought you were a man's man, and instead you showed you were like all the other Stanley wannabes, a coward. I would not expect that sort of action from a CSWA champion or a man who has swapped compliments with me during the build up to our match. In short Blade, you have, as these people say, 'screwed' me out of your title. (Crowd boos)

I believe you only attacked me because you knew you could not beat me one on one. You took the easy way out and blindsided me. Yes you hurt me Blade, not physically but mentally, I respected you and you threw it in my face. Next card I want to pay back all the things you did to me. You like fighting with chairs and other objects? Fine...Lets go one more time for your belt inside a steel cage.....and to add a bit of spice lets sprinkle a few of your favourite weapons such as chairs tables etc around the ring. Do you like the sound of that Blade? Good, I trust you are still man enough to accept my challenge. I must now prepare for Dexter and his friend, till next we meet I bid you all good day.

BB:  Now, it's time for a match I really can't wait to see... if you can even call it a match. No matter what you say about Aaron Douglas... it should be fun watching him destroy this rich coward Ill Squeeze.

SB:  Man... there really hasn't been anyone THIS pathetic in a wrestling ring since the last time Red Midget was in the ring, or before El Nino's brain surgery or whatever he had... I mean, I do like his music-

BB:  Sammy, have you heard any of it?

SB:  Well, no... but anyone THIS clueless has got to make a good record.

(CUT TO:  Aaron Douglas, making his way to the ring, wearing a fire-based singlet that reads "THIRD DEGREE BURN" on the front. He circles the aisle- where sitting in the front row is a large man in a yellow mask and Armani suit, holding a briefcase. Douglas stops in front of the man, and they stare at each other. Douglas mouths something to him, and then hops in the ring, and sits on the top turnbuckle.)

BB:  That hulking man at ringside there is Cardigo Mysterian, who was hired by Thornton Squeezefeld, Ill Squeeze's daddy, to help his son win... we don't really know anything about Cardigo, but he's REALLY creepy...

SB:  I do like this Mysterian guy... you see the way he beat up on that stewardess? Man, that was great.

BB:  The opinions on violence towards women do not represent the views of myself, the CSWA, or any normal person, I can assure you. (CUE UP:  "Ghetto Superstar" by Pras and the Ghetto All-Stars CUT TO:  Out from the back come 8 girls in matching black dance outfits, all dancing to the song. They line the railing, when out comes Ill Squeeze. Squeeze, wearing a red and white 8-ball jacket open-style, which exposeshis scrawny, pasty-white body. is wearing trunks that say "Ill Squeeze" down each side. He turns his back- on the rear is a drawing of Taz (the cartoon character, not the wrestler) smoking a blunt in one hand, holding a handgun in the other. Squeeze starts trying to house one of the back-up dances, who pushes him away with a disgusted look on her face. Squeeze rolls under the top rope, and Douglas just stays on top of the corner, laughing. Squeeze rolls into the ring, as the music's still playing. He then starts grooving, and then stops to "pop" his arms Breakin' 2 style. He then gets down on the floor and busts out the worm as the crowd busts out laughing.)

BB:  (Who is rolling in laughter.) Look at this idiot, doing the worm like this!

SB:  Oh man... this is gonna be one of those things that gets played back on blooper films years from now. (Ill Squeeze finally stops doing the worm, and he gets up and takes off this 8-ball jacket, which he hands to a dancer. Aaron Doulgas, still laughing at that dancing exhibition, climbs down from the corner.)

BB:  The bell rings, and Douglas is now in the middle of the ring... and Ill Squeeze looks like he is about to wet himself!

SB:  Oh man... does this kid know a thing about wrestling?

BB:  Douglas goes for a lock- NO! Squeeze runs into the ropes, cowering. (A shot of Squeeze in the ropes, crying like a baby as a backup dancer busts out laughing.) What a coward this rich kid is!

SB:  I hope somebody is taping this.

BB:  Squeeze out of the ropes- and again he runs right back into them as Douglas was going to pounce.

SB:  This is the "Andy Kaufman" school of wrestling, I believe.

BB:  Ya, but Kaufman could at least beat a girl... Douglas backs off... this is pathetic. Ill Squeeze, who is crying, is now on his knees, begging to Douglas not to kill him... he reaches into his boots-

SB:  HA! He's smart, at least...

BB:  And he's offering Douglas money! Douglas looks to the crowd and he- KICKS ILL SQUEEZE IN THE CHEST! (The crowd pops hard.) And again! He's stomping Ill Squeeze, who is a basketcase now! ... kicks him again... and Squeeze smartly rolls out of the ring. Douglas shakes his head in disgust and- (The crowd pops, and the camera shows Cardigo Mysterian, standing up. Douglas sees him, and motions for him to come to the ring. Mysterian hops the aisle, briefcase in hand, and stares at Douglas. Cardigo steps over the rope, and him and Douglas are in a stare-down. The crowd is cheering, wanting to see these two go at it.)

BB:  MYSTERIAN VERSUS DOUGLAS! They're gonna go at it!  And now Billy Starr is coming down the aisle!

SB:  Look at Squeeze! He might be a bad wrestler, but he does know how to act! (Squeeze is behind Cardigo, taunting Douglas.  Starr rolls into the ring behind Douglas.)

BB:  Douglas is DARING Cardigo to do something. Referee Pee Wee Troutman is in between these two... Cardigo is burning a HOLE through Douglas with that stare... CARDIGO SWINGS WITH THE BR- NO! HE TURNS AROUND AND DECKS ILL SQUEEZE!!! (The crowd cheers insanely.) OH MY LORD, ILL SQUEEZE IS BLEEDING! THIS IS HORRIBLE! (The crowd, abuzz a second ago, is now in stunned silence.)

SB:  Man, I've never seen anyone get hit in the face like that! I've never even gotten slapped by a broad at a bar like that! (CUT TO:  A shot of a back-up dancer, who looks like she's about to throw up.)

BB:  Cardigo is now leaving the ring... and Douglas is just standing there befuddled. Ill Squeeze needs some help- the corner of the briefcase hit Squeeze square on the nose... he's bleeding a lot, and has probably lost a few teeth...

SB:  Man, this Cardigo guy is out of his mind... why did he do that?

RJ:  The winner of the match... (Aaron Douglas raises his hand, Troutman brings it down.) By disqualification... ILL SQUEEZE! (The crowd boos the decision, and Douglas can't believe it. EMT's are on their way to the ring.)

SB:  Oh, that's why...

BB:  Douglas can't believe it! And Cardigo turns around, gripping the briefcase... there's something about this guy that's really weird...

SB:  Ya, serial-killer level weird...

BB:  We'll be back folks...

(Eddy Love is standing beside a locker room door marked "Shepherd/Deacon". The door swings open hiding Eddy from Chris Shepherd and the young girl Love was with earlier in the show, as they walk out.  After they walk by Love picks up a tire iron convienently sitting by his side. Love walks down the hall to the door marked "CSWA Champ:  Flair". Love kicks open the door swinging the tire iron.)

LOVE:  You want it extreme boy, I'll show you extreme.

(Flair and Ivy jump startled to their feet.)

IVY:  Get your crazy ass out of here Eddy.

FLAIR:  You want this now Love, I'll shove that tire tool straight….

(Eli stops speaking as Eddy tosses him the tire iron)

LOVE:  There you go big boy…. You're gonna need it cause tonight I'm gonna take your belt, then I'm gonna make your new girl M scream just like Troy used to make Ali scream in the back during your matches.

(Flair tears out after Eddy as Eddy takes off running. Love runs down the hall and into the "SHEPHERD/DEACON" locker room. )

LOVE:  (squealing like a in a high pitch voice) He's got a Tire iron… please someone stop him..

(As they come through the door Deacon springs up from a kneeling position grabs a surprised Flair up for a choke slam. The tire iron springs free and Eddy grabs it, going to work on Flair's back and sides. Deacon quickly grab the iron from Love shoving him back as security comes in dragging out the downed Flair. Love draws back as if to strike Deacon, then has a look of realization.)

LOVE:  You saved me again…. After all I've done to you…. You again put yourself in harm's way for me…. You're the best friend I've ever had

(Deacon continues to stare speechless)

LOVE:  Can you hear me? We're pals right? Can you talk?

(The door swings open with Shepherd and the girl walking in)

CS:  What's all the excitement?

LOVE:  (Making a playful pistol symbol towards Shepherd) Your boy here just saved Hurricane Eddy from yet another unprovoked attack.

(Love nods to Deacon)

Me and you my man….. tight.....

(makes fist, holds the girl's hand and they exit)

BB: We're back, and we've got a very interesting matchup coming up.

SB: My girl is gonna be in the house!

BB: Yes, "The Dark Angel" Silky Rose will be in the corner of Dante Inferno, but they'll have to take on "Monarch" Matt Martin, a vey capable wrestler.

This match was all Martin for a good fifteen minutes. Inferno was playing defensively, taking a lot of shots but doing a decent job of stopping momentum. Martin surprised everyone, however, when he was able to take this seven footer down with a flying clothesline, and nearly score a three count! That seemed to wake the big man up, and with a fireball shot straight up in the air from Silky Rose as distraction, the Destroyer went to work. He was crude, but he knew exactly how to use his size to his advantage. The match ended after more than twenty five minutes when Inferno trapped Martin in a choke lift, and, right before Troutman called for the DQ, dropped him on his head! He went for the cover, and got a VERY hard fought victory.

WINNER: Dante Inferno

BB: Inferno comes off, for once wrestles BY THE RULES, and manages to pull out the win against Matt Martin.

SB: Did you see my honey's fireball? She's got talent. She's got a LOT of talent. And Sammy B. is gonna see her later.

BB: Sammy... stop. Seriously. Up next we've got a battle of two former tag team partners, the "Cinderella" team that made it past Crazy Like a Windham back in May... and now, they're gonna get even with each other.

SB: Who cares? Where's Eddy?

BB: Eddy's going on last.

SB: So I have to sit here for the entire show?

BB: You're getting paid for it.

SB: Yeah, and?

BB: Sammy, you don't understand anything, do you?

SB(Looking intently at Buckley): Did your parents have any children that lived?

BB: Oh lord...

Cruise and Jackson come from two different worlds of wrestling. Jackson is more of a brawler than Cruise, who is one of the more technically sound wrestlers in the CSWA. They showed that the time spent together left an impression, as they had counter-holds upon counter-holds for most of the match! It wasn't until Cruise reversed an Irish Whip and hit a Powerslam that left Jackson lying on the mat! Under the direction of his new manager, the beautiful Mercades Devon, Cruise hit his finisher, the "Crippling Plunge," and got the three!

WINNER: "Crippler" Cameron Cruise

(Cut To: The backstage. Apocalypse is talking to someone whose face is obscured by shadows... he sees the camera and walks toward it. Static.)

BB: What the...

SB: That's my line, but you forgot to end it. What the f...

BB: Sammy! Fans, something is going on with Apocalypse backstage... we'll try to find out for you.

BB: Well, we go from a Shanghai Streetfight to a "Trinidad Tornado" match.

SB: And what’s the difference again, exactly?

BB: Well, in this no-disqualification match, pins count anywhere. Plus, it’s got the name "Trinidad" in the title.

SB: Ah…I see.

BB: Why don’t you go get another drink or something?

SB: Are you trying to make me jump off the wagon?

BB: Sammy….you and I both know you never even made it NEAR the wagon. Fans, let’s send it down to Rhubarb.

("God Save the Queen" begins to play)

RJ: Ladies and gentlemen, the first competitor in this one-fall, no-disqualification, falls count anywhere, TRINIDAD TORNADO match (takes a long breath), hailing from London, England and standing at six-feet-four-inches tall and 320 pounds, this is "The English Gent" LAWRENCE STANLEY!!!! (crowd boos, and some "USA" chants are heard)

("Save Yourself" by Stabbing Westward plays)

His opponent, standing at five-feet-ten-inches tall and 285 pounds, this is "Hard Chargin’" MATT DEXTER!!!!! (mixed reaction as no one comes down the aisle)

BB: Well, fans, Lawrence Stanley is in the ring….but there’s no sign of Matt Dexter. The music has played…but nobody has come out. Stanley is laughing and yelling at the crowd….now he’s asking our crew to bring him a microphone.

SB: What, you mean the Brit’s got something to say? What a shocker!

BB: You’re proud of yourself for that one, aren’t you? It looks like one of our crew members is on the apron handing……that’s not one of our crew…it’s MATT DEXTER!!! And he waffles Stanley with that microphone….this one is underway!!!!

SB: You gotta like the Dexter kid’s style.

BB: Matt Dexter rips off the "Crew" T-shirt and baseball cap he was wearing and lays into "The English Gent!" He’s got the element of surprise…the only question now is, what can he do with it?

SB: Looks like we’re about to find out!

BB: SNAP SUPLEX by Dexter, and the smaller man follows with a brainbuster!! Dexter has taken control of this match, and Stanley can’t do a thing about it!!! Dexter pulls Stanley to his feet, and then send him sprawling through the ropes to the floor below. Stanley slowly gets to his feet…but Dexter is on the apron…..double hammer to the back of the neck. Matt Dexter pulls Stanley to his feet and starts marching Stanley down the aisle….stopping only to catapult Stanley into the metal barricade next to the fans. Dexter follows in with a knee……but Stanley gets the arm up…and Dexter goes down quickly to the great equalizer.

SB: That’s too nice a name for a low blow like that.

BB: Stanley hooks the arms around Dexter and sends him down with a belly-to-belly suplex. If the previous blow didn’t knock all the wind out of the former Penn State star, that one certainly did. Stanley goes for the quick cover, and referee Manuel Juarez is on the spot for the count… but Dexter quickly kicks out at one. Stanley pulls Dexter up and sends him hurtling into the rampway, before following up with a leg drop.

SB: It looks like Stanley is ready to take this one out of the arena!

BB: It does…and he does….pulling Dexter down the aisleway and to the back…..we’re working on getting a camera to pick the two up….there we go. Stanley slams Dexter into a stack of equipment cases, sending them sprawling….but not even that stops his advance through the halls. Stanley sets himself, and whips Dexter across the hall into a door….that gives way!!! Dexter goes sprawling into the room, and Stanley follows him in.

(Marvin Parsons looks up from the sound and light board, sandwich in hand. He quickly scurries out of the way.)

BB: Marvin Parsons takes a powder as the fight comes to his own backyard! Stanley hurls Dexter against the wall, but "Hard Chargin’" gets a boot up to block the follow-up. Stanley staggers back into the doorway and into LANCE RICHARDS!!!!!

SB: That’s "The Destroyer" Lance Richards to you, Buckley.

BB: Richards was revealed as the ‘masked man’ that was in collusion with Matt Dexter against men like Vizzack and Stanley. He boots Stanley in the midsection…and now he picks the 320 pound man up like he’s a cruiserweight!!!! He walks across the room….no, he’s not…don’t do it!!! POWERBOMB through the lightboard!!!!! (The arena lights go down, then up, still flickering occasionally.)

SB: Um…I hate to say it…but it might be ‘lights out’ for Stanley.

BB: That was a wild match.

SB: You don't remember when Hortense was in the ring, do you? THAT was a wild match.

BB: It looks like, regardless of what happens in this battle royal, Lawrence Stanley obviously wants a return match for the Greensboro Title.   But right now, six men battle it out in order to get a chance to dethrone the Greensboro Champ in the "Blade Invitational" to see who will get the next shot at the title.  Havoc, Michael Gettis, Marcus Delmar, Commando, Bobby Jackson, and Wicked Sight have all hit the ring, and Sammy, I'm having a hard time picking a winner!

SB: I agree. Havoc has been a World Champion in at least one smaller promotion, Wicked Sight and Commando have shown us all a lot since they've been here.

BB: Michael Gettis and Marcus Delmar have had shorter stays here, but they've both looked pretty good to date. And, of course, Bobby Jackson, who had a brief but violent relationship with Blade a few months ago. At least, his career did.

SB: I don't even know who to pick, Buckley... I'm gonna just watch and see what happens.

BB: THERE THEY GO! Michael Gettis blindsides Marcus Delmar! HE'S OUT! These two had a brief partnership, but apparently it's over with! And we're down to five men!

SB: Apparently? What tipped ya off, Buckley? The fact that he hit his "partner" with an elbow to the back of the skull?

BB: These five men are TEARING into each other! Bobby Jackson and Havoc are teaming up on Wicked Sight, and Gettis has Commando tied up in the corner! This is gonna end quickly, Sammy!

SB: Jackson and Havoc just send Sight into the ropes, but he comes off with a double clothesline! Commando and Gettis are in the corner now, and Sight sends Havoc chest- first into them! That takes the wind outta their sails, wouldn't you think?

BB: I agree, Sammy! Bobby Jackson and Wicked Sight are locked up, and they're trying to get the upper hand! NO! Havoc with a shot to Jackson's back! He and Sight try to push Bobby Jackson over the top rope!

SB: They got him!

BB: NO! Sight changed partners! THEY BOTH PUSH HAVOC OVER THE TOP! HAVOC PUSHES SIGHT OVER THE TOP! We're down to three people here!

SB: Count again, Billy boy!

BB: Wicked Sight held on to the middle rope! He takes a run at Jackson! FLYING HEADSCISSORS! Jackson is down! Now, there's FOUR men left, and we've got battles raging on BOTH sides of the leg! Wicked Sight whips Jackson off the ropes... FLYING BODYPRESS... NO! Jackson makes the catch, gets him up over his shoulder... AND HE HITS A RUNNING POWERSLAM! Wicked Sight is OUT COLD!

SB: Well, Jackson better come over here and save Commando, because Gettis is ALL OVER HIM!

BB: Michael Gettis is nailing Commando with STIFF right and left hand shots! I think he's busted up Commando's nose, and he just keeps on punishing Commando... LOOK OUT! Jackson CLOTHESLINES Gettis from behind, and Gettis just drops like a ton of bricks! Now, Jackson grabs both arms, and leaves Gettis WIDE open... Commando CHOPPING WELTS into the chest of Michael Gettis, and there's no one to help him!

SB: Actually, Wicked Sight is pulling himself back to his feet!

BB: But, he can't stay up! Wicked Sight still feeling the affects of that powerslam out of NOWHERE! Commando and Jackson pull Gettis into the center of the ring, send him off the ropes... DOUBLE CLOTHESLINE... NO! Gettis ducks! Commando and Jackson turn around... KICK TO THE GUT OF Commando... AND Gettis DROPKICKS Jackson! Jackson staggering... AND Michael Gettis CONNECTS WITH A SUPERKICK! Jackson OVER THE TOP... AND DOWN TO THE FLOOR! And then, there were three!

SB: Gettis is taking too long recovering, though! Commando is getting back to his feet!

BB: Gettis sets up Commando... SUPERKICK on Commando... NO! Commando ducks and NAILS Gettis low! I DON'T BELIEVE IT!

BB: Gettis DOUBLED OVER... Commando grabs him by the hair... AND SENDS HIM OVER THE TOP, DOWN TO THE FLOOR! Michael Gettis is GONE! Commando thinks he has the thing won, but he's forgetting about Wicked Sight, who's slumped over in the far right corner!

SB: He's telling the ring announcer to ring the bell. I think he has NO IDEA that Wicked Sight is in the ring!

BB: BIG LEAPING ELBOW BY Wicked Sight! Commando OVER THE TOP... BUT HE HOLDS ON TO THE ROPES! Commando manages to scoot back into the ring, but Wicked Sight is ALL over him with kicks and big shots to the gut! Wicked Sight pulls Commando to his feet... GUTWRENCH SUPLEX, INTO A POWERBOMB!

SB: As much as I'd hate to say it, that's it... .there's NO way that he can survive that!

BB: Wicked Sight has Commando up over his shoulder, he's gonna dump him over the top... but Commando's holding on to the top rope for dear life... INSTEAD, Wicked Sight DROPS him on the top rope in a STUN-GUN LIKE MANUVER! That's GOT to be it for Commando! Wicked Sight's heading up to the top rope, now that there's no one that can send him over the top...

SB: I still don't like this strategy... .there's too much that could go wrong!

BB: Wicked Sight off the top... JUMP SPLASH DOWN UNTO Commando! He's gonna send him over the top... .HE DID IT! NO! Commando grabs the ropes! Commando's back in against the ropes... and Wicked Sight charges with a CLOTHESLINE... BOTH MEN GO OVER!

SB: Look at that! Neither man is eliminated!

BB: I can't believe this, fans... Commando's feet are about three inches from the floor, as he's holding onto Wicked Sight's waist! Wicked Sight, meantime, is holding onto the top rope for dear life! This can't last forever, Sammy! What's going to happen?

SB: Give it a second, and everything will present itself.

BB: WICKED SIGHT WINS IT! He let go of the top rope, but was able to make a grab for the middle! Commando's feet it the floor! Wicked Sight will get a shot at the Greensboro Championship!

SB: I can't believe that sight! It was intense, Buckley!

BB: Wait a second...  (He holds his finger to his ear...)  I'm getting word that Eli Flair has been attacked backstage! I don't know the specifics... but he's... he's...

SB: He's mad as hell and he's not gonna take it anymore!

BB: ... Sure, Sammy. We've got a special treat up next, as we have our second, SECOND Triangle match of the night!

SB: Alex Wylde is gonna pull it off, unless Miso pulls something off...

BB: Sammy! Is that all you think about?

SB: When I can't get any booze, YES.

RJ: This contest is a special attraction, TRIANGLE MATCH, scheduled for one fall!

(Cue Up: "Clubbed to Death" - Rob D)

Introducing first... weighing in at 315 pounds, and accompanied to the ring by Miso and Susan... From White Sands, New Mexico... This... Is... APOCALYPSE!

(V/O): The Dark Reign... Is Near...

BB: Here comes the leader of the UnHoly... The Apocalypse.

SB: But the big story is the dish behind him, Miso! Susan looks... pretty bad.

BB: Susan, former valet of Kevin Powers, is still on that leash. Her eyes are still bandaged. I wonder, Sammy... is she still blinded?

SB: Who knows.

(Cue Up: "Blaaah" - The Gookers)

RJ: His opponent, from Atlantic City, New Jersey... weighing in at 241 pounds... ALEX WYLDE!

BB: Listen to the boos that Alex Wylde has earned.

(Cue Up: "Gregorian Chant)

RJ: THEIR OPPONENT... Accompanied to the ring by Shepherd... weighing in at 327 pounds... DEACON!

SB: The Mute Freak!

BB: Deacon is wasting NO TIME getting down to ringside! He enters the ring, and DOWN goes Alex Wylde with a clothesline! Ben Worthington calls for the bell, and this one is off! Deacon picks Wylde up again... FRONT FACESLAM! Wylde scrambles out of the line of fire as Apocalypse moves in!

SB: Come on, 'Poc!

BB: You've got problems.

SB: And?

BB: Apocalypse sends Deacon into the ropes... SHOULDERBLOCK! And nobody moves! NOBODY GOES DOWN!

SB: Talk about a staredown...

BB: Apocalypse with a right hand! Deacon fires back! These two giants are trading blows in the middle of the ring, while Alex Wylde is slowly recovering!

SB: Wylde Thing! You make my heart sing!

BB: It was only a matter of time... Alex Wylde sneaks behind Deacon... ROLL UP! 1.............2.............NO! Deacon nearly gets blindsided here tonight!

SB: Apocalypse is gonna sit back and let this one go... He's no dummy.

BB: Alex Wylde with a boot to Deacon's knee! Single leg takedown, and Deacon is on the mat! The cover, 1........NO! Deacon is FAR from beaten!

SB: Why?

BB: Because. Deacon shoves Alex Wylde back to get some breathing room, and Apocalypse capitalizes! He catches Wylde with a full nelson! DRAGON SUPLEX! 1...................2................NO!

SB: Trouble is in store for Apocalypse!

BB: What is... oh. Here comes trouble. The CSWA United States Champion, Nemesis, is in the middle of the aisle, along with Commando. Nemesis, along with Kevin Nine, was brutally attacked by Apocalypse and the Unholy almost immediately after Battle of the Belts XVI back in May.

SB: Where's his pregnant chair?

BB: I don't think that much matters right now. Apocalypse and Deacon have Alex Wylde set up... DOUBLE DDT! Wylde is out! Deacon goes for the cover... NO! Apocalypse drops an elbow! Deacon rolls off, and Apocalypse raises Wylde up! SEVENTH SEAL! Alex Wylde is out of it!

SB: As long as the Mute Freak doesn't win... Sammy B. is happy!

BB: Stop it, Sammy. Deacon and Apocalypse lock up again... and a thumb to the eyes of Deacon! Apocalypse sets him up... CHINBREAKER! Deacon is holding his jaw as Apocalypse returns to Alex Wylde! I think this match is now down to who can keep the other man from moving for three seconds while Wylde is pinned.

SB: Hey, it's a way to go.

BB: Apocalypse with the cover... 1.................2.............NO! Wylde kicked out! He's been collecting himself for the past few minutes, and it was enough for the kickout! DEACON FROM BEHIND! DEACON SETS UP APOCALYPSE! ALTAR CALL! Deacon has just PLANTED Apocalypse with the Altar Call! Cover him!

SB: He's not covering him?

BB: Deacon returns to Alex Wylde... ALTAR CALL! There's the cover, 1.....................2.................NO! Wylde drapes his foot across the bottom rope!

SB: That was SHEER DESPERATION, Buckley! Wylde don't know where he's at right now!

BB: Deacon picks up the prone Alex Wylde... He's setting him up for the Altar Call one more time! NO! Apocalypse with a dropkick! He knocks BOTH men down! Now he's setting up Deacon! SEVENTH SEAL! He's laid out The Deacon! NO! DEACON IS UP! DEACON IS UP!

SB: I can't believe this!

BB: Deacon with a shot to the throat on Apocalypse! And another! He sends him into the ropes... reversal... Apocalypse telegraphs a backdrop, and Deacon countered with a DDT! Apocalypse rolls to the outside... but that will NOT get him the match! Deacon sets up Alex Wylde one more time... ALTAR CALL IN THE MIDDLE OF THE RING! 1...................2....................3! 3! That's it! Deacon gets the win!

SB: And Deacon is getting out of there!

BB: Deacon and Shepherd are, indeed, leaving the ringside area. I can't blame them, considering Nemesis and Commando are coming toward the ring!

SB: Bedtime for Apoc... the Unholy better be watching!

BB: NO! Nemesis and Commando have bypassed Apocalypse and are attacking Alex Wylde!

SB: YES! Unholy rules!

BB: I thought Eddy ruled.

SB: Er... um... Unholy is the STABLE that rules, but Eddy is THE MAN!

BB: Thought so. Wait a second... here comes Rob Sampson... this is going to put a damper on things.

SB: So what? Even if Wylde could move, it's three on two. The Unholy has a good ten members in the back, too.

BB: Sampson has reached the ring... and he's staring down Apocalypse! What's gonna happen, Sammy?

SB: Why don't you shut your mouth and watch it happen?

BB: Sammy!

SB: Eh... sorry. Kinda.

BB: Good enough. Commando and Nemesis have both stopped attacking Alex Wylde, who looks to be getting up. NO! ROB SAMPSON TURNS AND ATTACKS ALEX WYLDE! I can't believe it...

SB: Can't you? The Unholy knows no bounds.

BB: Fans, we need to clean up the ring. We'll be right back.

SB: Well aren’t you just the shill….

BB: Hey…I get a bonus every time I do a commercial like that.

SB: Really? Then why don’t I….

BB: Don’t ask questions that you don’t really want the answers to. Fans, before we get to the Main Event for the CSWA World Championship, it’s time for the announcement from CSWA Commissioner Stephen Thomas regarding the CSWA Presidential Title! Let’s head to the ring.

(Thomas is making his way into the ring, receiving a mild reaction from the crowd. He stands at a podium in the center of the ring.)

Thomas: I know that I’m not the one you came to see tonight…but I won’t take up much of your time. For those of you that have been fans of the CSWA for a while, you know the history of the CSWA Presidential Title. Held by men such as our current World Champ Eli Flair and others such as Joey Melton, Steel Viper, and so many others. When we returned for ANNIVERSARY 1998, many of you wrote and e-mailed about the Presidential belt specifically. It had become part of the CSWA tradition, as much as the Greensboro or the US. Well tonight, I’m pleased to announce that we are going to hold an eight-person tournament to bring back the Presidential belt. (crowd pops)

But we’re going to do things a little differently. Many of you have asked where the idea for the ‘Presidential’ came from. Originally, Chad and I saw the need for an additional title in additoin to the World, US and Greensboro…and rather than base it on a specific geographical area or region, we decided to come up with something new.

And that’s what we’re going to do this time, as well. I think you’ll get the idea once I announce the tournament brackets.

In the top of the bracket, the two quarterfinal matches will be: Board of Directors member Steve Day will take on CSWA VP of Security Gregg Gethard; and Vice-Commissioner AJ Honold will face off against former CSWA VP Steve "Poppy" Schroeder.

BB: What in the world is going on here?? He’s making a mockery of the Presidential Title!

Thomas: In the other half of the bracket, Vice-Commissioner Mark Vizzack will take on former Vice-President Jon "Lambfry" Katz, and Board of Directors member Sunshine Del Payne will face yours truly, the Commish. So there you have it folks….over the next few weeks, we hope you’ll enjoy watching as the Presidential Tournament plays out….as the title comes home where it belongs. (The crowd has begun to turn, booing loudly as Thomas climbs out of the ring.)

BB: This is ridiculous! Thomas has taken one of the historic titles in this sport, and he’s setting it up for him to win it!

SB: I don’t know…that Katz is a ring veteran.

BB: You know what I mean Sammy! If anybody beats him…they’ll get fired or worse! Need I remind you of what happened at a certain WINTER’S WARRIORS?

SB: Fired? He announced Katz and Schroeder as ‘former’ VPs….they don’t still work here do they? So there goes THAT theory.

BB: I don’t know….I’ve got no idea what’s going on here. What’s next, a "Commentator’s Title???"

RJ: This contest is scheduled for one fall, and it is for the CSWA WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP!

(HUGE fan pop)  Introducing first...

(CUE UP: "Whole Lotta Love" - Led Zeppelin)

Accompanied to the ring by his manager, Sweet Melissa... from Clemson, South Carolina... weighing in at 241 pounds... One Half of the UNIFIED TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS... "HURRICANE" EDDY LOVVVVVVE!!!

SB: WOO HOO!

BB: Sit down, Sammy!

SB (Giving a standing ovation): Why? Tonight, the World Title returns to the place it belongs. Around the waist of THAT MAN! And Sweet Melissa! C'mon, isn't she a better bit 'o sugar than Poison Ivy?

BB: Never mind the fact that Ivy would clock you for calling her "Sugar."

RJ: AND HIS OPPONENT...

(HUGE pop)

Accompanied to the ring by his manager, the LEGENDARY Poison Ivy...

(CUE UP: "We're In This Together" - nine inch nails)

From Bronx, New York... weighing in at 301 pounds... The CSWA... WORLD... HEAVYWEIGHT... CHAMPION... "TOTAL ELIMINATION" ELI FLAIRRRR!!!

BB: Look... at the Champion. His side is taped up! He's looking ANGRY.

SB: He's got that ugly look on his face. Oh, wait, that's Ivy I'm looking at.

BB: Sammy!

SB: What? WHAT?

BB: Flair is in the ring... and he's calling for a microphone! Sammy, I think Eli Flair is bleeding!

SB: Eli Flair? Bleeding? What else is new?

ELI FLAIR: Eddy... Nice shots. You sure showed me EXTREME in the back. But now... Now, it's my turn.

BB: OH MY! FLAIR JUST DROPPED EDDY WITH THAT SINGAPORE CANE! POSION IVY IS ALL OVER SWEET MELISSA!

SB: Leave the sugar alone!

BB: Ivy has send Sweet Melissa to the outside! She's in shape and she's capable, but Melissa is not the fighter that Poison Ivy is! Manny Juarez calls for the bell, but Flair doesn't let up! He puts a count on him... nothing! Juarez is frustrated... he GRABS the cane out of Flair's hands!

SB: Disqualify him... no. Then Eddy doesn't get the belt. What a predicament.

BB: Flair and Juarez! I think Flair might be facing a fine! EDDY LOVE WITH A ROLL-UP! Love is bleeding, Sammy!

SB: Why, exactly, is Manny officiating this match? No English, remember?

BB: 1..................2..................NO! Eli Flair kicks out! This match is FINALLY started, and both men are bleeding! Flair from the side, and Love from the forehead!

SB: Eddy is still gonna pull it out.

BB: They lock up... and Eli is pushed into the ropes! Juarez calls for the break... and... we've got a clean break? From Eddy Love? From Eli Flair?

SB: Mind games, Buckley.

BB: Who's playing them though?

SB: Good point.

BB: They lock up again, and Eddy Love with an armdrag takedown! He's slapping the back of Flair's head! What is going on here?

SB: Eddy is superior. It's not that complicated.

BB: Flair is looking for a way out... he gets to his knees. He's trying to get back to his feet... NO! Eddy Love with a handful of hair!

SB: He wants to see if it's really back to its natural color.

BB: That's got no bearing on this match.

SB: Hey, some colors are toxic. Eddy's looking out for his own health here.

BB: Sure, Sammy. Eli is back to his knees, and he's gonna try it again! He's getting up... NO! Eddy with a handful of hair again! NO! FLAIR GRABS A HANDFUL HIMSELF! Juarez sees THIS and calls for the hold to break! He breaks it up, and Eddy is in Juarez's face!

SB: He loses his hold because FLAIR had some hair?

BB: It was a mutual thing, Sammy. Don't forget it.

SB: Forget what?

BB: Juarez tells the two to wrestle again... and Flair with a slap to the face! How's it feel, Eddy?

SB: What happened to journalistic integrity and impartiality?

BB: You're one to talk.

SB: True.

BB: Love is incensed, and he runs at Flair with a clothesline! NO! Flair ducks, and gives a kick to Eddy's stomach! Irish whip... backdrop... NO! Eddy leaps over Flair! Eli turns around... SHOULDERBLOCK! Nobody moves! And we've got a staredown!

SB: More than that... we've got a MATCH on our hands!

BB: Flair with a right hand... NO! Eddy ducks, and he's going for a crucifix pin! NO! Flair drops, and Eddy takes the brunt! The cover by Flair... 1.....................2...................NO! Eddy reverses! 1..........................2..............NO! They're up, and Love sends Flair into the ropes! Coming off the sides... NO! FLAIR DIVES! He just clipped Eddy's knee! Flair is on top of Love with a series of punches! Juarez is calling for the break! Flair is up... and Eddy kicked him in the side! Flair goes down!

SB: You know, I'm surprised that we haven't seen more action on the outside. I've really gotta hand it to Flair, he's WRESTLING this match.

BB: He DOES know how to wrestle, Sammy! Flair has pulled himself up on the ropes, Eddy is measuring... GERMAN SUPLEX! There's the cover... 1................2...............NO! Flair kicks out! Love off the ropes... NO! Flair catches him with a kick to the stomach on the way back! POWERBOMB! Powerbomb into a pinning combo! 1...........2................NO! Flair pulls Love back to his feet... T-Bone suplex! There's the cover, 1........................2..........................3! NO! Juarez sees Love's foot on the rope! This match will continue!

SB: That's a testament to Eddy Love, right there. That suplex took something out of him, but he knew EXACTLY where he was and was able to get his foot on the ropes.

BB: I never said anything against Eddy Love's ability, Sammy. Just his personality.

SB: Don't go there, G.

BB: Who are you, Sammy Benson or Ill Squeeze?

SB: What's my name, foo?

BB: ... Flair picks Eddy up... Irish whip... NO! Eddy reverses... and ELI GOES DOWN! SWEET MELISSA WAS ON THE OTHER SIDE WITH A CHAIR! MELISSA CAUGHT ELI IN THE BACK WITH A CHAIR!

SB: Eddy! Capitaliz--- no. Oh, no.

BB: POISON IVY IS AFTER MELISSA!

SB: NO!

BB: Ivy and Melissa are playing tag on the outside, all the while, Flair is down! Eddy picks him up... sets him up... HURRICANE PILEDRIVER! That's it, it's over!

SB: YES!

BB: IVY HAS CAUGHT SWEET MELISSA!

SB: NO!

BB: Melissa tripped, and Ivy lays into her with that cane!

SB: Juarez, get your head into the match!

BB: Eddy Love grabs Manny Juarez to count! Love with a non chalant cover on Eli Flair. 1.......................2.......................3! NO! NO! NO! FLAIR KICKED OUT! FLAIR KICKED OUT!

SB: Wh.........at???

BB: Flair kicked out of the Hurricane Piledriver.

SB: HOW?

BB: Eddy Love is, no doubt, trying to figure that out himself! He looks toward Ivy and Melissa... MELISSA IS DOWN! Ivy has laid into her with that cane! EDDY LOVE IS ON THE OUTSIDE! Ivy backs away from Love!

SB: Feminazi GOES DOWN!

BB: But all the while Juarez is counting, Eli Flair is getting up! Ivy is giving Flair time to get back into it!

SB: EDDY! LOOK INTO THE RING!

BB: IVY GOES DOWN! Eddy hadn't gotten to her... oh no. She's holding onto her knee. Something must've popped.

SB: YES!

BB: NO! FLAIR IS UP! He's on the outside!

SB: EDDY! TURN AROUND!

BB: Flair is behind Love... he's got a chair! EDDY LOVE TAKES THE CHAIRSHOT! Ivy pulls herself to her feet... she's hurt, Sammy! I thought she might've been playing possum, but look at her! She can NOT walk on that knee!

SB: So what? Why isn't Juarez doing something about that chair?

BB: Manny Juarez is on the outside now, threatening Flair with disqualification! NO! EDDY LOVE TURNED AROUND AND TOOK JUAREZ OUT! Eddy is in shock! He thought Flair was behind him! But now we've got a downed official!

SB: No ref, no rules, no more red tape!

BB: Flair and Eddy are looking at each other... and there they go! They're trading right hands! Flair grabs Eddy's arm... irish whip into the guardrail! And Eddy Love is dumped over the railing into the crowd!

SB: This is bad.

BB: Flair's taken this match into his natural element... the outside! We haven't seen a new official come out yet... it's possible that nobody wants to risk it!

SB: Would you?

BB: Of course not.

SB: Where's Melissa?

BB: Sweet Melissa is up, and she took QUITE a bump. She sees Ivy tending to her knee... and it looks like they've given a little nod of the head, signifying "Alright, truce, for now."

SB: Feminazi's got good aim, I have to give her THAT, at least.

BB: Spoken from experience, we know. Flair is in the crowd, and he sends Eddy headfirst into a row of chairs! This match has shifted VERY MUCH into Eli Flair's favor. He sends Eddy flying into another row... NO! Eddy reverses! NO! Flair reverses! NO! Eddy reverses! FLAIR GOES INTO THE CHAIRS! Eddy is heading back to the ringside area... and he's pulling a table out from under the ring!

SB: Who's the King of Extreme now?

BB: FLAIR IS GETTING UP! Love doesn't see him! YES HE DOES! The two are trading blows again! Love with a kick to the groin, and Eli is down!

SB: YES!

BB: Eddy Love is setting Flair up on that table... and he's climbing the turnbuckle! NO! Eddy almost slipped!

SB: He's lost some blood, Buckley.

BB: Both of them have. Eddy tries it again... and he's getting up there! FLAIR IS GETTING UP!

SB: TURN AROUND, EDDY!

BB: Flair is climbing into the ring... HE SHAKES THE ROPES! EDDY SLIPS! HE'S BEEN RACKED!

SB: Owww....

BB: You know what that feels like, Sammy.

SB: Hey, if I can take Space God, I can take you.

BB: You might be surprised. But Flair is climbing the turnbuckle! He's not an aerial man, Sammy! What can he be thinking?

SB: He's thinking, and I reluctantly agree, that if he hits this, the match will probably be over, and all we need is an official to count!

BB: I think you're right, Sammy! Flair setting Love up for a superplex... NO! Love doesn't budge! These two men are precariously perched on top of the turnbuckle... and Love doesn't budge!

SB: Something's gonna happen...

BB: OH MY GOD! LOVE AND FLAIR HAVE GONE FROM THE TOP TURNBUCKLE TO THE OUTSIDE! THROUGH THAT TABLE!

SB: Did Flair do that, or did Love?

BB: I think they might have had very little to do with it! All that maneuvering they were doing up there... it is VERY hard to keep balance. But we've got three men down on the outside, as Manny Juarez has STILL shown no sign of movement!

SB: So who gets to count?

BB: I don't know, Sammy! The Trinidad fans are cheering for the two competitors... I think that you've gotta respect BOTH men for this fight!

SB: ... Maybe.

BB: Wait... they're cheering louder... something's happening. SOMEONE'S MOVING!

SB: EDDY!

BB: NO! Eli Flair is getting up! Eli Flair is getting up! Sammy, his face is a mask of crimson! But he's up! He's up and he looks like he wants to finish off the match! He's pulling Eddy to his feet, and sends him into the ring!

SB: How can they finish the match when Manny is out?

BB: I don't know. But Flair has Eddy on his feet... INVERSE DDT! We know what that's a precursor to!

SB: Doesn't matter, Eddy's never given up.

BB: I think he has, once. In another promoti--

SB: No. He was framed.

BB: Flair is looking at the crowd... they want to see it! They want to see Flair lock on the Total Elimination! HE DOES IT! HE DOES IT! Flair has the Total Elimination locked in on Eddy Love! There's nowhere for Love to go!

SB: He won't give up.

BB: It's either give up or risk serious injury, Sammy!

SB: And what did Flair do?

BB: ... Point taken. But the point should be, there's nobody there to either hear Love say "I Quit" or "I Don't Quit." Hasn't anyone noticed that there's no official in this match?

SB: This is the CSWA. Specifically, it's the CSWA under Thomas' direction.

BB: I'm not saying a word. But we're into the second minute of the Total Elimination, and there's no sign of Flair letting up, Love giving in, or an official to watch for either!

(CUE UP: "Song 2" - Blur)

SB: Hootie Hoo!

BB: Oh no...

SB: YES!

BB: Here comes the No Limit Soldiers... or, at least, here comes Troy Windham, Junior Hornet, and Bandit. Flair hasn't seen them, but you've gotta think that their history would make Troy go after Flair before Love. And that's to say nothing of Flair's former tag team partner, Bandit.

SB: Hootie Hoo!

BB: You love that phrase, don't you?

SB: I LOVE IT!

BB: Troy has hit the ring... and he's all over Flair! He pulls Flair off Love, and he's directing Bandit and Junior Hornet to hold him back!

SB: YES!

BB: Troy is looking at Eddy Love... He just told Junior something along the lines of "Can't do anything else here," so apparently they're gonna work on Flair.

SB: YES!

BB: Troy is talking to Eli now... This is wrong, Sammy! Troy with a slap to the face! He instructs Junior Hornet to do something... and now it's Bandit holding Flair back by himself... Oh, no. This is too much.

SB: Hey, it's not Eddy, but it's not bad.

BB: Junior Hornet has retrieved the CSWA World Title belt and has presented it to Troy! Troy is strapping it on! That's not his belt!

SB: But it looks good on him, doesn't it?

BB: NO! It doesn't, Sammy! Troy is talking to Flair again! FLAIR BRACES HIMSELF ON BANDIT AND KICKS TROY IN THE STOMACH! Junior Hornet with a fist to Flair's face! Bandit sends Flair into the ropes... NO! Ivy limps from behind and catches Bandit in the ankle with her cane! He's in the corner, while Junior Hornet takes his place! NO! Flair with a flying clothesline! This has turned into three on one! This is a travesty! But Flair has done a good job of holding his own!

SB: EDDY IS UP!

BB: Love catches Flair from behind! SIDE SUPLEX!

VOICE: The Dark Reign...

SB: NO!

BB: The Unholy is coming down from the ceiling! Apocalypse, Pat Black, and the newcomer, Rob Sampson, are tearing into Eddy Love!

SB: TROY! DO SOMETHING!

BB: HERE COMES KEVIN POWERS! He gets into the ring... and he's looking at Apocalypse and Eddy Love!

SB: Who's it gonna be, Powers?

BB: He's looking... and he runs at Junior Hornet! Powers is attacking Junior Hornet! FLAIR IS UP! Eddy is being beaten on by Pat Black! TROY CATCHES FLAIR IN THE BACK OF THE HEAD WITH THE TITLE BELT! Troy is going after Powers! APOCALYPSE IS GOING AFTER TROY!

SB: This is getting confusing, Buckley.

BB: We've got a nine-man rumble here! Well, seven, when you include Flair and Eddy's current states. Bandit takes a run at Kevin Powers! These two big men are going at it! Apocalypse and Troy Windham are mixing it up! What, exactly, are these two groups fighting over?

SB: I think it's over who gets to beat up on Flair and Love.

BB: There's so much history between these men... Apocalypse and Junior Hornet to the outside, and Apocalypse is opening up the "Dark Reign" on his head! Bandit has removed Powers from the ring, and Pat Black and Rob Sampson are going after Sweet Melissa and Poison Ivy! Somebody stop this! Bandit with a chair to Powers' head, and he's going after Pat Black! SAMMY! LOOK AT THE RING!

SB: Oh no... TWO YEARS, Flair's been waiting for this!

BB: Fans, for the first time since they met for the Presidential Title... ELI FLAIR AND TROY WINDHAM ARE STARING EACH OTHER DOWN IN THE RING! Troy is more or less fresh, while Flair is bleeding from the forehead, from the side, and from the arm! But they run at each other! The two men are tossing punches left and right! TROY WITH A SUPERKICK! FLAIR DUCKED! Flair caught Troy's leg! BOOT TO THE GROIN!

SB: Rob Sampson has Sweet Melissa by the hair, and Ivy's not doing anything about it? You bitch!

BB: Flair sends Troy into the ropes... BACK BODY DROP! Troy lands on top of Rob Sampson and Sweet Melissa! And Ivy is trying to pull Melissa to safety!

SB: Okay... maybe I was harsh.

BB: Fighting is fighting, but common decency has prompted Ivy to get a fellow female manager out of the line of fire. But we've still got seven men trading blows on the outside, one man in the ring who's almost out on his feet, and another who's just GETTING to his feet. Flair and Love are toe to toe one more time... and you can almost sense the respect these two men have gained for each other in this match!

SB: But the World Title is still at stake. And Manny is STILL out!

BB: Love and Flair... actually lock up? Flair picks Love up... CHOKE LIFT! LOVE WITH A KICK TO THE CHEST! Flair drops him!

SB: What's Cloudy doing here?

BB: Sunshine Del Payne is headed to ringside! She shouldn't be here, she could get hurt! Oh... she's trying to revive Manny! I wonder what took so long for someone to come out here.

SB: Would you want to be someone known for enforcing the rules in THIS place?

BB: Point taken. Love picks Flair up... NO! A thumb to the eyes! Flair drops Love with a DDT! Sunshine is still trying to revive Juarez!

SB: What's the feminazi doing now?

BB: She's telling Sunshine to get in the ring!

SB: She's not a referee!

BB: But she's a CSWA official! This might be official! Flair with another DDT on Love! POWERBOMB! Sunshine gets into the ring... she's looking confused, Sammy!

SB: Give the match to Eddy!

BB: Can I get odds on that?

SB: ... Damnitt!

BB: Flair covers Eddy... Sunshine is still looking at Ivy! Ivy is telling her to count the pin!

SB: EDDY!

BB: 1..................................................2....................................................3! FLAIR WINS!

SB: NO!

BB: Eli Flair has just gotten the pin on Eddy Love! Eli Flair has pinned Hurricane Eddy!

SB: Fitting... NOW, Manny gets back to his feet. And he calls for the bell!?!?!? Even unconscious, that stupid illegal alien can find a way to screw a World Title match!

BB: I'm not sure what's going on here... he's picking the World Title belt and... Yes! It looks like he IS going to count Sunshine's pin! Love is getting up... he doesn't know exactly what happened... but Flair has been handed the World Title belt!

SB: ROBBED!

RJ: The winner of this bout, and STILL CSWA WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION! "Tot--

BB: Manny cut Rhubarb off! What gives?

SB: Look... the ringside is more or less clear. Bandit and Junior are helping Troy to the backstage... and the Unholy has already left. Powers is simply standing in the aisle, waiting to hear the news.

RJ: Ladies and gentlemen... I have just been informed that referee Manuel Juarez... has DISQUALIFIED "Hurricane" Eddy Love for attacking him with a chair! Therefore, the winner, and STILL World Champion... Eli Flair!

BB and SB: WHAT?

BB: Manny didn't see Sunshine's pin, he didn't even care. He DQ'd Eddy from the chairshot he took a good twenty minutes ago!

SB: Love was robbed!

BB: Can't win with you, can we?

SB: Of course you can! Give Eddy the belt!

BB: Love and Sweet Melissa are leaving the ringside area in disgust... and look! Not even a word to Powers! Powers is still staring at Flair and Ivy in the ring!

SB: Maybe that's his partner.

BB: Could be... but look at Flair. He's incensed. He wanted the pin on Eddy Love. He might've gotten it... but officially, it never happened. Still, he did what he said he was going to do, and 'beat' Eddy Love. And he's still the CSWA World Champion. Listen to these fans cheer him on!

(CUE UP: "We're In This Together" - NIN)

SB: Still... Eddy's not the Champ.

BB: No, he's not. Eli Flair is still the Champion... and to borrow from another promotion, in a lot of ways, he's the PEOPLE'S CHAMPION. We're out of time here, so for Sammy Benson, my name is Bill Buckley. We'll see you on our next stop in Grenada!

SB: Hootie...