CSWA PRIMETIME POOLJAM in Grand Cayman November 14, 1999 |
|
Featuring: Round 1 - CSWA
Presidential Tournament |
(Fade in on a very big house. Big. Like the house from "The Haunting." The nameplate reads a single word:
"MERRITT"
At the foot of the driveway, stands a single person. Sunshine Del Payne, Board of Directors member. She's traveled a long way to get here. To find the man who can restore order to the CSWA. To find the one who gave her a chance to dictate how things would go.
She needs to find him. She needs to tell him what's been happening. She needs to tell him he has to come back. She needs to tell him... that she's sorry for all that's happened.
The ringing of the bell brings no answer. She looks, long and hard, at the house once more. No lights are on. No sign of life. She then notices the padlock on the gate.
He's not here. Her answers aren't here.
Her quest... will continue...)
(FADEIN: What appears to be a doctor's office. Eli Flair is sitting in a chair next to the wall. He looks very out- of- the- ordinary, clad in a pair of boxers. His muscular, tattooed, scarred body is mostly visible. Next to him, M is holding his hand. His foot is tapping impatiently on the ground as the doctor comes back in.)
DOC: Mr. Flair?
ELI: Yeah? What do you have to tell me? Give me good news, Doc.
DOC: How long have you been feeling this pain?
ELI: I dunno, about a month. Why?
DOC: Well, there's nothing serious in and of itself--
ELI: Great. Let's go.
DOC: Hold it. Sit down.
(Eli stares at him for a second, before doing so.)
DOC: There is no one thing that's serious, but our tests have shown upward of thirty muscles throughout your body that have microscopic lacerations.
M: Microscopic.... what are you saying?
DOC: Essentially, Mr. Flair's choice of lifestyle is causing his body to burn itself out.
(Eli sinks in his chair, M holds onto his hand tighter)
M: What can we do?
DOC: Simple. Retire.
(Eli jumps up at this.)
ELI: WHAT?!? Retire? Are you ****ing kidding me? There is no WAY I'm retiring while I'm still on top of my game. As long as I can move, I'm wrestling.
DOC: There's a chance of recovery, but it would involve leaving wrestling for a minimum of six months and you'd have to undergo intense physical therapy through the entire period.
ELI: Three times in three years.... am I cursed or something?
DOC: Excuse me?
ELI: Never mind. Tell me though.... is this life threatening?
DOC: At this time.... no. But--
ELI: That's all I need to hear.
(Eli leaves the office quickly, before the doctor can say anything else. M follows quickly, asking him to come back in....)
(V/O): This program is presented by CS Enterprises, Inc. in association with U-62 Television. All rights reserved.
(Fade in on the Main Event from Kingstown... Melton's introduction...)
V/O: A man searches for a way back...
(Cut to: Close up of Alan Tasker)
A man searches for a reason why.
(Cut to: Close up of Randy Harders)
A man searches for a way out.
(Cut to: Close up of Eli Flair)
A man searches for someone... to try and stop him.
(FADEOUT)
(Fade back in on 15,000 screaming fans in the Grand Cayman Arena. Cut back to Bill Buckley and Sammy Benson, rarin' and ready to go.)
BB: Welcome one and all, to Grand Cayman, where the CSWA is proud to present another edition of ---
(Cue Up : Bulls On Parade by Rage Against The Machine, bringing fans screaming to their feet.)
Listen to this, Sammy! Sweet ...
(Out from the backstage area comes Steve Radder, microphone in hand.)
Radder : Now I understand that my return has everyone's attention and quite frankly, it should. Sadly, it seems I've also caught the attention of a few of those new guys looking to "Make A Name For Themselves" like I did so long ago.
But before we talk about the idiots, lets talk about my opponent tonight. Now Cameron, I can't say I have any problems with you ... but that's not going to keep me from whopping you around that ring and pinning your shoulders to the mat. The fact of the matter is, Steve Radder is the Chosen One, and you're a mere stepping stone along the road of me PROVING that fact. Don't take it personally.
As for the rest of you - I'll say this once. Don't get any ideas. I hear some idiot named Wicked Sight saying that I'm washed up because I'm old. Old? All that comment made me realize is that your eyes must be as bad as your name suggests, because the last time I checked, son, I was 20 years old. And Melton? Hell - he's only 36. That's still half as young as SOME I've seen trying to carry on.
Be warned. I have more skill in my pinky finger than you - and all of your friends - put together. Steve Radder's the man who tore the Unholy apart. Steve Radder's the man that has Eddy Love running scared. Steve Radder's the man who's got the CSWA - and the industry abuzz.
Don't you ever forget it.
(Cut to: Buckley and Benson...)
BB: Ahhhh... My name is Bill Buckley, and with me, Sammy Benson, and we're on the LAST STOP of the CSWA Primetime POOLJAM tour! And we've got some incredible action lined up, as the semifinal match of Commissioner Thomas' Presidential Tournament takes place, as well as the first round of Vice Commissioner Vizzachero's WRESTLER INVOLVED tournament!
SB: We'll also see Joey Melton return to singles competition... against "English Gent" Lawrence Stanley, a man who has a date with the Greensboro Title!
BB: And of course, our big MAIN EVENT, as Eli Flair faces a ghost from his past in US Champion NEMESIS, with the World Title on the line! Kicking things off, however... wait a second. I'm being told there's something going on in the back... can we get it up on the video wall?
(CUT TO: The backstage. Rudy Seitzer is walking up to a man with his back to the camera.)
RS: Excuse me, excuse me? Can we help you? How did you get back--
(The man turns around, to reveal former UNIFIED Champion, JT TYLER!)
RS: JT Tyler? What are you doing here? Where have you been? What's happened to you?
JT: Patience, Rudy. I'm looking for Thomas. You seen him?
RS: I... um. Maybe in the offices?
JT: Always a big help, Rudy.
(Tyler disappears through a door...)
RS: Well... just another treat from the CSWA to you fans! Back to you, Bill!
(Cut to: Buckley and Benson.)
SB: That was rude.
BB: Why?
SB: "Back to you, Bill." I'm the star of the show and I don't get a mention?
BB: Sorry, Sammy.
"Big Time" Michael Gettis vs. Maxwell |
The debut of Maxwell left Gettis' head spinning. Literally. He was virtually unable to mount any form of offense, to speak of. Maxwell kept Gettis off balance with an array of technically sound holds and counter- holds, taking the advantage early with an awesome powerslam! Gettis held on, but a fallaway slam, followed by a belly- to- back superplex from Maxwell, spelled the end for "Big Time."
WINNER: Maxwell
BB: Impressive debut for Torrance Carter. Gettis just looked out of his league tonight. Up next, Sammy, do you know what we've got?
SB: Do I care?
BB: K-9, recently reinstated to the CSWA, will take on the debuting Zero. There isn't much--
(The fans begin to cheer as Peacekeeper walks out to the front of the curtain. He's holding a microphone...)
PK: The Day of Reckoning is upon us. No more games, no more talk. You had your chance to make things right, now it's my turn.
(He returns to the backstage, leaving many of the fans wondering what happened...)
K-9 vs. Zero |
K-9, fresh off a recent suspension, entered this match looking like he had something to prove. Zero, something of a legend in a smaller promotion, was making his first appearance in the CSWA. Zero's reputation preceeded him, apparently, by a chant of "He's Hardcore!" running through the crowd. Whether it bothered him or helped him is unknown, because he didn't acknowledge the crowd ONCE. What he DID do is take the match to the outside, early and often. K-9's reputation as the "Innovator of Insanity" did him well, as he was able to match Zero move for move for a good ten minutes.
The turning point in this match occurred when a table, previously propped against the guardrail but seemingly forgotten about, broke K-9's fall as Zero sent him up and over the top rope with a release belly- to- belly suplex! It was simply academic at that point for Zero to bring the fallen K-9 back into the ring, set him up for the "Level Zero," and get the three count.
WINNER: Zero
Simply Stunning vs. The Night Ravens |
Simon Wilcox and Michael Hardy have had some moderate success to date in the CSWA, garnering victories against Gettis/Delmar and WAR Machine. Tonight, they faced a debuting team in Edgar and Allan, The Night Ravens. Both teams turned it up and pulled out all the stops. The Night Ravens held Hardy in their corner for a time, but he was able to fight his way to the tag! Manny Juarez let all the double teaming go in this one, and Simply Stunning got the pin when Hardy grabbed a handful of tights.
WINNERS: Simply Stunning
BB: Simply Stunning pulls another one off! Before we move to our next match, I understand we have Aaron Douglas standing by in the backstage! Aaron, are you there?
(Cut to: Split screen. Buckley on the left, Douglas on the right.)
AARON DOUGLAS: Tonight's a big night for numerous reasons. As everyone knows, it's the first round of the Presidential title tournament. A title that has a deep heritage here in the CSWA, and a title I plan on
winning! But that's not the only reason this is a big night. I just got off the phone with Billy Starr and he has informed me that he has found Hornet...and he has agreed to confront me tonight! All the hard work
paid off. The flyers I handed out, the pleas I made for someone to come out with information on televison and radio as well, and now after months of looking, have found him. So stay tuned folks, because when Hot Stuff is involved, you know things are going to HEAT UP!
(Cut to: Buckley and Benson.)
SB: Hornet's here? Why doesn't anyone tell ME these things?
BB: Because nobody ELSE knows about it, either.
SB: Excuses, excuses.
BB: Fans, I'm being told that my son Billy is standing by in the back with JT Tyler!
(Cut to: The back, Tyler and Billy.)
ByB: JT, you had something to say to Peacekeeper?
JT: Peacekeeper, whoever you are, I believe you have something of mine.
ByB: What's that?
JT: That mask. I wore that mask as "Thunder" several years back. And unless you return the mask to me in the next five minutes, I'm going to hunt you down and take back what's mine.
(Tyler walks away...)
ByB: I think it's safe to say... JT Tyler is back! Back to you, Dad!
Lawrence Stanley vs. Joey Melton |
This one almost DIDN'T get started. Blade and Dante Inferno of the Unholy blindsided Melton as he was coming down to the ring. He was saved, quickly after that, by the rest of the Family, who accompanied him to ringside. Lawrence Stanley couldn't have felt very comfortable, with the Family AND the Unholy outside the ring, keeping each other in check.
As for the actual match, Melton's return to singles action showed WHY he's been one of the most dominating wrestlers of his time. Age has slowed him down slightly, but Melton was able to keep up with the new 'Superstar' of the CSWA, Lawrence Stanley. With age, came the experience that allowed Melton to avoid a Stanley dropkick, and immediately latch on the Figure Four! Stanley was able to turn it over, and Melton reached the ropes, breaking it. That's precisely when all hell broke loose. The Unholy and the Family began to brawl on the outside, much to the delight of the onlooking fans, when, out of NOWHERE, the Peacekeeper ran down the aisle, and THREW himself into the outside brawl! For a good five minutes he delivered punishment, and just as quickly bolted, heading into the crowd! With the outside still a mess, Patrick Young took his attention away from the match for a second, as Stanley was picking Melton up off the ground. A thumb to the eyes, a handful of tights, and Melton had stolen himself a victory.
WINNER: Joey Melton
BB: That was incredible! The Family and the Unholy are coming to a head here in the CSWA! We've got to take a break, but we'll be right back with the PRESIDENTIAL TOURNAMENT!
CSWA
Presidential Championship Tournament #1 Randy Harders vs. #16 Bobby Jackson |
Deja Vu. Randy Harders and Bobby Jackson had a brief but intense feud near the beginning of both of their CSWA careers. However, things didn't get better with time. Harders, a former United States and Greensboro Champion, DISMANTLED Jackson. He took him apart systematically with an amazing display of technical and brawling maneuvers, finally getting the win when he got Bobby Jackson to submit to the Whirlwind.
Interesting sidenote, but Apocalypse of the Unholy unsuccessfully attempted to distract Harders with a very 'personal' message on the monitor.
WINNER: Randy Harders
CSWA
Presidential Championship Tournament #4 Apocalypse vs. #13 Cardigo Mysterian |
As if to return the favor, Randy Harders opted to get a 'closer' look at this match. Needless to say, it was a distraction on the side of Apocalypse. Most of the match involved his looking over his shoulder to see if Harders was too close to Miso. His lack of focus showed, as Cardigo Mysterian DOMINATED. Apocalypse looked almost as helpless as Ill Squeeze as his attention was split.
That seemed to be Harders' plan. Mysterian almost had the win, when Apocalypse reversed a backdrop into a DDT! With the momentum swung back in his favor, Apocalypse had Mysterian set up for the Seventh Seal, when Harders tore into him with a chair! The security team and the rest of the Unholy ran in, causing Harders to let them know who "Number One" is, and escaping through the crowd. Mysterian was on his feet before Apocalypse, and it was intensely obvious that this man has daggers in his eyes for the "Hard One."
WINNER via DQ: Apocalypse
CSWA
Presidential Championship Tournament #3 Aaron Douglas vs. #14 Rob Sampson |
This was an even match. That's all that can be said. The two men see-sawed back and forth for most of the match. Until Hornet ran down to the ring! Well... a balding, beer bellied man with Hornet facepaint on, at least. Aaron Douglas kept the referee's attention, and "Hornet" cracked a chair over "Mr. Main Event's" head! The two left together, leaving the fans in the Grand Cayman's wondering what exactly happened.
WINNER: Aaron Douglas
CSWA
Presidential Championship Tournament #6 Matt Dexter vs. #11 X |
As Matt Dexter was entering the ring, the man known only as "X" SPRINTED down the aisle, blindsiding Dexter and knocking him off the apron! X quickly picked him up and sent him inside, hooking the tights for a quick three count. He exited the arena as quickly as he entered, with Dexter in full pursuit! NOBODY wanted to get in the path of this man after the fact!
WINNER: X
BB: Four down, four to go, Sammy! We're at the halfway point in the first round! And I'm being told M. Harry Smilek is in the back with the Headliners!
(Cut to: The locker room area. Smilek, Starr, Douglas, and "Hornet" are with him...)
M. HARRY SMILEK : What is going on here, this isn't Hornet! Who the hell is he?
BILLY STARR: This is the man that Hornet stole the "Hornet persona" from. Several years ago in a small independent organization in North Carolina, Hornet was a young up and coming rookie. This man invented the gimmick, facepaint and all, and he was destined for stardom, but unfortunately he suffered a career ending injury and hasn't wrestled since!
AARON DOUGLAS: But due to some of the amazing breakthoughs in science and medicine he is able to wrestle once again and take what belongs to him....HIS GIMMICK! Hornet, you should have been a man, you should have come forward, but you made me dig up dirt on you...and I didn't want to go there! Now it's too late and if you want to save face, if you want the world to hear YOUR SIDE of the story, then step up and BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
BILLY STARR: Aaron, I told you a long time ago not to trust him...you should have listened.
AARON DOUGLAS: Enough about that, let's head off to the after party.
(Cut to: Buckley and Benson.)
BB: That was weird.
SB: That may give me nightmares.
BB: Let's head back up for more action.
CSWA
Presidential Championship Tournament #2 Steve Radder vs. #15 Cameron Cruise |
As expected, the Unholy and the Family were at ringside for this match. This all made Cameron Cruise a little nervous. And it showed. Radder's return to the CSWA ring showed virtually no rust in its technique. He kept on top of Cruise through the entire run of the match, and ended it with the Absolute Zero in ten minutes. Before he could make the cover, however... the Unholy jumped their former "punching bag" and incited yet another brawl!
Strange as it seems, JT Tyler himself hit the ring to attempt to break up the feuding factions, but when Cameron Cruise backed into him, Tyler was all over him! It was a minute or so before he stopped beating on Cruise, and looked at his hands, asking himself, "What did I do?" Nothing but questions abounded...
WINNER via DQ: Steve Radder
CSWA
Presidential Championship Tournament #7 Bonecrusher vs. #10 Peacekeeper |
The Peacekeeper still sported that "Thunder" mask, a sign that JT Tyler hadn't found him yet. Furthermore, it would seem that security had misplaced him! Peacekeeper, in his wrestling debut, looked SHARP against the former Greensboro and USN Champion! He kept Bonecrusher off balance, winning the match with a Victory Roll in fifteen minutes!
WINNER: Peacekeeper
CSWA
Presidential Championship Tournament #7 Bonecrusher vs. #10 Peacekeeper |
The "Strong Man" of the Unholy, if one can be separated from the others, wrestled a good, clean match against the DRAGON. For a while, it looked as if he was NOT, in fact, the razor using, destructive power of old, preferring, instead to use a more refined approach to a match.
It was ten minutes of back- and - forth wrestling until, very nonchalantly, Poison Ivy appeared out of the crowd and began to lay into Inferno with her Singapore Cane! This brought the rest of the Unholy down, but Ivy was smart enough to book before they could do any damage. Kerrigan, on the other hand, became yet another man screwed in this Family/Unholy war.
WINNER via DQ: Dante Inferno
CSWA
Presidential Championship Tournament #8 Alex Wylde vs. #9 HEAT |
The hottest man in the CSWA took on Alexander the Great in a match for the ages! Neither man was content with the rules, so they bent them at every occasion! Wylde broke holds by biting HEAT somewhere on the face, and HEAT responded in kind with MANY handfuls of hair. Patrick Young gave up on the little things early on in the match, letting most DQ calls go. Alex Wylde took the advantage for the last time right before the fifteen minute mark! A mistimed dropkick from HEAT left him open for a release belly- to- back suplex, followed by an inverse atomic drop! All Wylde needed to do at that point was make the cover!
WINNER: Alex Wylde
BB: There you have it, Sammy! The first round has ended! We'll see the second round, of course, at SHOWTIME in Houston next week! Let's see the brackets!
SB: Must we?
BB: Sammy!
CSWA
Presidential Championship Tournament #1
Randy Harders vs. #4 Apocalypse |
SB: And the winner of the tournament has to face off against Commissioner Thomas!
BB: Sammy! Actually... that's not a bad idea. Right now, however, Rudy Seitzer is standing by with Vice-Commissioner Vizzachero, who has a special TWS announcement!
(Cut to: Rudy Seitzer with Vice Commissioner Vizzachero...)
RS: Sir, I understand you've got an announcement to make?
VCV: Two, actually. First off, I'd like to announce that the Family, AND the Unholy have been locked in their dressing rooms for the rest of the night so we can get some order. Also, six security guards will be guarding EACH of the doors.
RS: And the second announcement?
VCV: THANKSGIVING WEEKEND SPECTACULAR. On Day Two, when the championships are all decided, when everyone's beaten the living crap outta everyone else... we're going to have a special match. A very special match. Four on four. Unholy, against Family. In a WAR GAMES match.
RS: War games?
VCV: War games. Submission or Surrender. But we're not going to let this tear through the CSWA any more.
RS: That's quite a big announcement... and I guess we're set for the MAIN EVENT! Bill, Sammy... back to you!
(Cut to: The broadcast table...)
BB: Can you believe that announcement? And it'll take place at the VERY END of TWS!
SB: I can't even fathom what could happen in that match.
BB: Can you fathom this match coming up? The rematch from the Valentine's Day Massacre?
SB: I don't care. I don't see Eddy on the bill.
BB: I can't win...
SB: Try the lottery.
MAIN
EVENT "Total
Elimination" ELI FLAIR vs. |
RJ: This contest is scheduled for one fall, and it is for the CSWA WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP!
(Cue Up: "The Kids Aren't Alright" - Offspring)
Introducing first, is the challenger. Weighing in at 237 pounds... he is the TWO-TIME, current United States Heavyweight Champion... NEMESIS!
BB: Here's Nemesis... but without his 'pregnant chair.'
SB: Maybe it had an abortion.
BB: That's... actually pretty funny.
SB: I do what I can.
RJ: And his opponent...
(Cue Up: "Bawitdaba" - Kid Rock)
Accompanied to the ring by his manager, Poison Ivy... From Bronx, New York, and weighing in at 305 pounds... The CSWA World Heavyweight Champion... "TOTAL ELIMINATION" ELI FLAIRRR!!!
BB: Listen to this pop for the World Champ! The fans love him here in the Grand Cayman's!
SB: I don't get it... and there's some perfectly good men in the back who owe him some payback who can't come out here and deliver!
BB: Personally, I think Vice Commissioner Vizzachero made the right choice in keeping the Unholy away from ringside. It should keep this match even.
SB: Let's not forget tonight's game of one-upsmanship, as the Family has done their share of attacking, too.
BB: Nemesis, yelling at some fans... is on the ring apron, and Flair tears into him! Flair with a forearm shiver that sends Nemesis flying off the apron and crashing into the iron railing at ringside! Flair shoots himself in between the ropes and there's a flying body press on the outside!
SB: He can't pin him there!
BB: I'm sure he realizes that, Sammy. Flair sends Nemesis head first into the iron post! The Champion likes it rough..and Nemesis is finding out why!
SB: He likes it rough? Sounds like his sexual preference..
BB: Watch it!! You want him, or Ivy, to hear you?
SB: Good point.
BB: They're still going at it in front of us! I've got a feeling Worthington shouldn't even bother to count in this match... both men love to dish it out outside the ring!
SB: There's a reason they call Eli "Total Elimination..." and we all know that Nemesis loves to take it to the floor! There's a brawler's spirit inside him yet!
BB: Flair throws Nemesis into the front row! He's got a chair...there's Worthington he grabs the chair out of Eli's hands! He wants to keep this as clean as possible! But, from behind Nemesis hammers Flair! He's got the chair and he levels Flair with it!
SB: Why didn't Worthington try to stop that one? Did Nemesis bribe him or something?
BB: I wouldn't but it past him, but Worthington is a good man..he wouldn't sell out! Nemesis picks Flair up and surprisingly tosses him back into the ring! For the first time tonight, the action will take place in the ring!
SB: It won't last long, trust me!
BB: Nemesis backs the champion into the corner, lowers his shoulder, and buries it several times into the mid-section of the Champ! Nemesis with a hard right and a left... he wants a fight!
SB: If he wants a fight, Flair will give him one, you better believe that!
BB: Nemesis irish whips Eli into the turnbuckle, but Flair reverses and sends Nemesis flying into the corner! He shoots out of there, and its Flair who catches him with a clothesline! The crowd loves this type of action!
SB: I wonder if they'd be yelling if they were the ones getting the crap beat out of them!
BB: I don't think they would. But you never know. Flair is looking around at the crowd... and he's going for it! He's wrapping Nemesis up in the Total Elimination! Nemesis is trying to hang on... NO! He taps, and Flair will remain the CSWA World Heavyweight Champion!
SB: But he's got TWO tough defenses coming up at Thanksgiving Weekend Spectacular... as well as a tag match on Sunday against one of those opponents. Where's his mind at?
BB: Right now, his mind is in the ring, as he celebrates another successful title defense. Fans, we're just about out of time here tonight, but we'll see you in Houston next week as the Parsons Cruise Liner comes into dock! And don't miss CSTV: First Edition on a local U-62 affiliate station near you tomorrow night! Thanks for having joined us all summer long from the PRIMETIME POOLJAM Tour. Goodnight!
(Fade to black)
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