Even Better Than The Real Thing?
By Stephen Thomas
8:31 PM on 3/08/2002


Even better than the real thing?

Well I thought it was a decent track on U2’s legendary Achtung Baby. Oh wait, Fantasy Wrestling that’s right. Sorry.

Hmmm…is Fantasy Wrestling better than the real thing? Conceding I’ve never been the recipient of a hurricanrana by Lita, or pretended to be the father of Stacy’s child, I’m saying yes.

I know some of you will hymn the cry, “What about the bumps?” They’ve been checked. And on last word they weren’t cancerous. No, I know you idiots calm down. The fantasy is the same for every man, woman, or child who watches wrestling. They wanna take a bump. It’s why we invite the mentally challenged kid from the neighborhood over to the backyard pool wars.

“It’s fake David…this won’t hurt.”

CRASH!

“I thought blood was supposed to be red?”
“I told you he was an alien!”

Ah. The memories. But seriously kids, blood IS supposed to be red. You know I speak the truth. How many of us have thrown an innocent bystander against aisle five at the grocery store and unleashed a series of chops followed by “Whooooooo!” I’m not the only one, am I? How many of us have jumped off the top of their cars in the school parking lot and dropped kicked members of the school band as they walked by, giddy after a day of selling $2 candy for “fundraising”. I know I’m not the only one.

Bumps if performed correctly can be entertaining and to answer the eternal question, yes the figure four does hurt.

So why Fantasy Wrestling? Insane chair shots aside the best thing about wrestling is all the politicking, backstabbing, and power plays. You know the very foundation that “Saved By The Bell” was built on. Fantasy wrestling allows us the opportunity to get to the heart of the matter. Forget earning our stripes forget being hazed at the hands of a 300 lb man. If you play the game you go straight to the heart of what the business is all about.

When World Championship Wrestling’s (WCW for you dopes) fan base was dwindling, the pot shots were heard clearer and clearer.

”Russo is a moron.” “Can you believe they’re wasting Torrie Wilson?” “Dude I’ve got a great idea for a main event.”

It’s simple. If you’re an internet wrestling fan you’ve accepted that wrestling is a soap opera for men and that you could do better. Why do we go to A1wrestling, the torch.com or worse, 1wrestling? I think in some way we need to find that extra hold to our draw in wrestling. Who’s screwing who…Has Goldberg killed Ryder yet, and who’s that special guest they’re hyping on the WWF website for RAW?

When ratings aren’t enough where do you go? When the creative output of both shows no longer holds your interest, when find yourself watching US Open Tennis for more than just Anna what do you do?

There’s a window and a ledge to the left, but that’s worst-case scenario.

You get involved on FWrestling.com, that’s what you do. Be the booker. You’ve heard it before. The draw to fantasy is really no more complicated than that. It’s the ability to create that gimmick that you wish Russo or Mcmahon would spawn. It’s the chance to write interviews to lay the verbal smackdown. How many of us still cringe at Sid Vicious every second he opens his mouth? The bottom line is scripting has become the business. The WWF isn’t hiring Kevin Sullivan or Bill Watts anymore. They’re hiring TV writers. It’s nice to see the change. But fantasy wrestling did it first.

Join FWrestling.com and give us that gimmick. Show us that McMahon was crazy for not reading your mind. You put your hands on the TV set, you gave him the chance to pull the idea out of you but it didn’t go down that way. Show him. Better yet show us.

Over the last thirteen years, people involved in fantasy wrestling will swear up and down that somewhere somehow their ideas were stolen. Do McMahon and the writers know the fantasy sites exists? Probably not. But sooner or later it stands to reason they will. And then…you never know. The next writer they hire may not be from MTV…but rather from FWrestling.com.

It’s better than the real thing. And smarter than the kid at the pool.