Fade in to Fusenshoff about an hour and a half after the Red Wings played the Penguins in the Stanley Cup Finals. He’s at the infamous Hockeytown Café, sipping on a beer and watching highlights from the game. The place is mostly cleared out now, whereas a few hours ago you couldn’t move. Losses have that affect on partying. It took twenty minutes to get downstairs and take a piss just two hours ago. He’s still wearing his leather jacket, but amazingly he’s wearing a Steve Yzerman jersey underneath. That’s all that can be seen behind the bar. The EPW Television Title is likely in his hotel room. He doesn’t parade it around.
Fusenshoff: “It’s been a busy week. I’m so jacked up about hockey right now I even went out and bought a Wings jersey. The Captain, Steve Yzerman, was all class when he played and I just couldn’t resist. Frankie, you could learn a lot from him. He worked his ass off and never took night’s off. He learned to evolve his game when Scotty Bowman became coach and learned from his past mistakes. On the other hand, he’s not the type of guy to look for handouts, but we can’t all be successful…
Fusenshoff pauses for a moment and sip his beer. Then again a sip for him doesn’t really constitute a sip for the rest of us.
Fusenshoff: “… exciting hockey players. Almost forgot that part. Heh.
“But maybe I misunderstood. Maybe you’re not whining about getting the cold-shoulder in the title shot department despite all the mediocrity.
“That was a cute little nostalgic tale you graced us with to open the tete-a-tete we’ll have this week. I especially enjoyed your mention of a certain one night stand whose birth name we’re apparently avoiding. All I’ll say is that our World Champion sure sets a fine example for the EPW youth, eh?
“I couldn’t help but chuckle watching you choke through ‘then there was a woman I fought who thought she was a man but was really a woman who had a slave who I took away from her and that I’m still dating but the woman who thought she was a man demon was really a psycho bltch.’
“I think she may have rubbed off on you a little bit. Try and say that five times fast.
“Thanks for the American Idol reminder. I almost forgot about that brilliant career move. I heard the ‘net smarks have a pool going to determine what lasts longer, Susan Boyle’s 15 minutes or your old nickname. It’ll probably come down to the wire. I think the X factor will be whether the old hag gets a wash before next week’s show. Cross your fingers.
Fuse can’t help but smirk as he takes another sip of his drink. He signals the bartender for another round before proceeding.
Fusenshoff: “So you’re jumping on the “career ender” bandwagon, huh? You’re going all-in on the premise that I’ll tuck tail after our match, huh? Maybe you should spend the next few days practicing breathing exercises. You’ll be holding your breath for quite a while.
“But you said it yourself didn’t you? Dan Ryan, The Sergeant, Kin Hiroshi, Shawn Hart… a handful of guys that you’ve locked horns with, having minimal success, and now it’s your big chance to get your hands on some gold again.
“Meanwhile all these men left you reaching for coattails that were just out of reach. They went on to have successful years piled one on top of another since ’06. You Frankie… well, you’ve had a few opportunities.
“Chances in A1E… floundered. A blip in TEAM… forgotten. A three count from gold in EPW… hey, you were young right? That’s a good excuse.
“Now’s your big moment. Don’t let having zero reason to believe it’ll be different this time cloud your personal pep talk. Then again maybe you have one, you’re just keeping it from all of us for sport. Go ahead, throw down the gauntlet. Let’s see if I can cope.
“And now Stalker has me putting this ridiculous title on the line against the early bird (hey, it’s better than American Idol). Stalker, who you seem to think has me on a string. The guy’s been a thorn in my side for almost a year now. I’ve continued to win while in his crosshairs. I still hold this silly title, which I’ve held for over a year, minus a blip when Ice Tre beat me clean for it. If you look at his agenda from a historical perspective, he’s done nothing to slow down the success of his foes. The guy didn’t even want his TV title shot. He’s interfered many times, keeping the belt around my waist. Hell, Daymon won the World Title when Stalker took the responsibility of making his life miserable.
“So if you think his impact on this match is your saving grace, good luck with that.
“Frankly Frankie, I like your mindset. You seem like you’re focused. I personally find it difficult to believe winning a gold trinket is enough to motivate you when that moment comes where every part of you wants to give up. Maybe you’re just that desperate.
“Or maybe history will repeat itself.”
Fade out as Fusenshoff stands up from his stool at the bar. He shakes his jacket a bit before turning toward the Red Wings paraphernalia stand you have to pass on your way down to the latrine at the Hockeytown Café.