Retort.
FADE IN:
The Rumpus Room of NEW Champion SHAWN HART's quasi-palatial estate in Orlando, Florida - Evening
Sitting in his comfiest comfy chair with a book in one hand and a pipe in the other, SJH appears to be enjoying a bit of rest and relaxation. As he finishes a page from what must be one of his favorite reads and begins to turn to the next, he suddenly takes notice of the camera and feigns surprise.
SJH: "Oh!"
Grin.
SJH: "Didn't see you there."
He closes the book and holds it up for the camera.
SJH: "A Christmas Carol.... one of literature's greatest cautionary tales about a guy who, well... didn't know his head from his ass basically. He thought he had it made, that he had all the answers... but really, he was just an ornery old coot who, despite his numerous funds, probably couldn't get a girly to polish his broad sword if he begged. He was just too much of a miserable bastard."
He pauses, looks pensively upward, and then returns his gaze to the camera and continues.
SJH: "So then a buncha ghosts came out of the woodwork, showed him what a douche he was and bing-bang-BOOM - Old Ebenezer was back in business with a new outlook on life..."
SJH takes a deep breath.
SJH: "...which is something my old buddy Sensational Sean Edmunds could probably use as well. Y'see Mr. Edmunds... Sean.... yours is a story that emulates that of Mr. Scrooge at almost every turn. You came in, bright eyed and full of bullsh(FCC)t, proceeded to sell the whole of the wrestling world on said bullsh(FCC)t, and made a name for yourself as an ALLEGED icon of sports entertainment. But after all that success - the titles, the merchandise, the big money matches, did you do anything to elevate yourself, your sport, or any of your fellow wrestlers to new and glorious heights?"
He stares into the camera with a look of accusation draped across his face.
SJH: "Nah... not even close. In fact, all you've done in the subsequent TEN or so years since your glory days is kick back like a fat cat... and here you are now, back like a vertebrae, chock full of douchebaggery, dereliction, and disparaging remarks for me and my entire generation... just like Old Ebenezer."
The Prime Minister of Gettin' Sinister cracks the slightest hint of a grin.
SJH: "But'chu know what?! Today is your LUCKY DAY, cuz the Phenom is here to set you straight... and give you a new lease on life by showing you the error of your ways! Hell, those crusty old ghosts don't even need to roll out of their crypts for this one, because the steak n' eggs of this entire sordid situation is as plain as the nose on your face!"
He scratches his chin.
SJH: "And the rest of your face too!!"
He looks pensively upward.
SJH: "Oh, and your plain, little career also."
SJH nods his head approvingly.
SJH: "It goes like this, Sean-John... Say what you will about what you perceive to be a lackluster list of accomplishments on my part, but the TRUTH of the matter is that people in this industry KNOW, just like they know the sky is blue, that S-J-H is WITHOUT QUESTION one of the most tantalizing and exquisite performers the business has ever seen. I may not have the decades-long history that you have, and yeah... I have to fight just a l'il bit harder to get mentioned in Best Of's and Top Tens and all that hubbub, but such is life when you're a LIGHTNING ROD for controversy and rubbin' people the WRONG way. It makes me harder to love, but in the end... my Herculean AWESOMENESS cannot be denied!"
More self-agreement and head-nodding action.
SJH: "Even you can't deny it, Sean... and LORD KNOWS you've tried. Why, after helping form the Anthology... and propelling the outfit to the top of the game in Empire Pro, I began to see a weak link in the chain. You know who I'm referring too, but for the sake of good manners, we'll leave him to his anonymity."
Hart hacks out a phony cough.
SJH: "CRUISE."
He clears his throat.
SJH: "Anyhow, I tried like the DICKENS to point this out to the rest of you, but did you listen?
Nah.....
Instead, you and your JACKHOLE friends decided that I must be crazy. Unfit mentally and unfit for your little circle jerk. Shawn Hart was just some loudmouthed clown with no merit and NO place in the group he helped create."
Hart smiles.
SJH: "So what happened next? ...That weak link, your fearless leader, the guy who shall remain nameless, except to say that his name rhymes with HAMMERIN' BOOZE, dragged your sorry lot right down the tubes! And just DAYS after Anthology had hit rock bottom... he was OUT, and the whole operation was forced to REBOOT with a new and even DOUCHIER CPU.
Heh, Bottom line - after all I had done to make your has-been ass RESPECTABLE, and despite my many attempts to point you in the right direction, you elected to doubt me. Time and time again, I've proven my ability to see what the next move was, what lie in wait around the corner, both inside the ring and out... but instead of acknowledging this innate ability, you PUNKED me like the little F(FCC)CK you are!
You discounted me then as you have now, and THIS TIME... just like last, it will come back to bite you in the ass! Say what you will in your feeble attempts to discredit the grandeur I've sculpted from my wrestling career - the reality of the situation is that while you sit there and scream to the skies about the ONE MATCH you won to get yourself back to the position you're in today, I've got a closet full'a GOLD and GUARANTEED CONTRACTS backin' me up!
Call it an outrage, call it a mockery, I call it the TRUTH!"
He covers his mouth with embarrassment.
SJH: "Granted, Christmas is over... and the whole Scrooged thing's been done to death, but the same can be said for Sean Edmunds on BOTH COUNTS.
What can I say, except that sometimes the truth HURTS... and at Aggression 50, you're gonna feel it in full force.
The PHENOM has left the building!"
FADE OUT.