AGGRESSION 57: KOTC RD. 2 - Astros(c)/Cruise vs. Otaku/Bastard (c)
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The scene is an abandoned warehouse, single light shining on The Amazing Logan in the foreground and Michael Bastard in the back, clutching his Intercontinental Championship.
TAL: It has begun. The proof has begun to be worked out, and the Masked Violators were the first to feel the wrath of Michael Bastard and his assistant, Otaku. They were dismantled, destroyed and incinerated. The carnage was glorious in its savagery, but let's not fool ourselves here. The Violators were no match for Michael. The real test begins now, as across the ring stands a team that combines experience and gold. Yes, Donovan Astros. Cameron Cruise. You will be a formidable team. Hell, Michael teamed with you before, Astros. He knows what you can bring to the table. However, don't get it twisted. That you are a challenge only means that when we collect your scalps like the Native American warriors would their American invader opponents, it means they will have far more value.
You see, now that Otaku has proven his worth, now that he's shown that he's a reliable tag team partner, a man who doesn't get in the way and can help Michael achieve the goals of chaos and destruction that he longs for in this business, I'm not sure there is a team in this company that can stop them. Not even you, Astros. Even if your assistant, your helper monkey, your shadow, Cameron Cruise, has experience, even if he has Championships, even if he has proven to be a perfectly viable Tag Champion with one Joey Melton, he's not strong enough to overcome the wave of mutilation that Michael will bring to this company. He's a joke, an extended joke that seemingly never stopped being funny. And now, you're going to be the one to pay for that, Astros.
The last time we saw you, Astros, you were the beneficiary of Michael's brutality. You received your shot at the Television Championship by virtue of Michael claiming the shot at the title he holds now. It's appropriate that our paths cross again, only in opposition. You and Michael both want the Tag Team Championships to hold along with singles gold. The problem is, the last time, you took advantage of what Michael brought to the table. This time, you stand in opposition. The odds aren't in your favor. Astros, you and Cruise are going down in flames.
The quest to reform The Empire in the image and likeness of Michael Bastard is in full swing and there's nothing that can be done to reverse it. You've been warned.
Logan goes to hit the camera with his cane, but stops short. He nods to Bastard, who charges into the camera with his belt, crashing it over and sending the screen to static.
TAL: It has begun. The proof has begun to be worked out, and the Masked Violators were the first to feel the wrath of Michael Bastard and his assistant, Otaku. They were dismantled, destroyed and incinerated. The carnage was glorious in its savagery, but let's not fool ourselves here. The Violators were no match for Michael. The real test begins now, as across the ring stands a team that combines experience and gold. Yes, Donovan Astros. Cameron Cruise. You will be a formidable team. Hell, Michael teamed with you before, Astros. He knows what you can bring to the table. However, don't get it twisted. That you are a challenge only means that when we collect your scalps like the Native American warriors would their American invader opponents, it means they will have far more value.
You see, now that Otaku has proven his worth, now that he's shown that he's a reliable tag team partner, a man who doesn't get in the way and can help Michael achieve the goals of chaos and destruction that he longs for in this business, I'm not sure there is a team in this company that can stop them. Not even you, Astros. Even if your assistant, your helper monkey, your shadow, Cameron Cruise, has experience, even if he has Championships, even if he has proven to be a perfectly viable Tag Champion with one Joey Melton, he's not strong enough to overcome the wave of mutilation that Michael will bring to this company. He's a joke, an extended joke that seemingly never stopped being funny. And now, you're going to be the one to pay for that, Astros.
The last time we saw you, Astros, you were the beneficiary of Michael's brutality. You received your shot at the Television Championship by virtue of Michael claiming the shot at the title he holds now. It's appropriate that our paths cross again, only in opposition. You and Michael both want the Tag Team Championships to hold along with singles gold. The problem is, the last time, you took advantage of what Michael brought to the table. This time, you stand in opposition. The odds aren't in your favor. Astros, you and Cruise are going down in flames.
The quest to reform The Empire in the image and likeness of Michael Bastard is in full swing and there's nothing that can be done to reverse it. You've been warned.
Logan goes to hit the camera with his cane, but stops short. He nods to Bastard, who charges into the camera with his belt, crashing it over and sending the screen to static.
TSiegel
I spoil things.
"The Amazing Logan and Michael Bastard is it??"
(CUTTO: Cameron Cruise in front of a white and blue EPW Aggression backdrop dressed in blue jeans and a a white EPW T-shirt.)
CC: First off, I gotta get it out of the way...but this is unbelievable, I just had to get it off my chest and done with.
The Amazing Logan and Michael Bastard....if I were any other kind of a man, I'd sit here and call you "The Amazing Rand-O and BITCH TITS", but I'm actually in a better mood as of late.
Wait...no...I'd probably still call you BI[/I ]TCH TITS, but the fact is that you're not exactly just any kind of a person who runs at the mouth.
Logan is...but then you're the Empire Pro Intercontinental Champion. I suppose having a lackey such as he can be around you would allow such perks.
Even if I don't have a clue as who the hell you are or why it is you know so much about me.
Stalker much??
No-no..that's Jason....and he's still as much of a tool as ever, but regardless...this isn't as nearly the match-up I was expecting, but as anyone knows...anything can happen here in Empire Pro.
Even a man as "Bumble-Boy Wonder" as your partner...who was it...Otaku??
Even he's able to gain alittle credit with a victory.
But this "helper-monkey"...that was actually pretty funny you say that because a chuckle-head like YOU doesn't even rate that HIGH...but this man standing before you has done more in this business than what you can hope to attain...even with you giving him the verbal blow-job that you do so well.
See, whatever the case is in Shawn Hart not showing up is irrellavent.
I got a Tag Team partner instead, that did exactly what he was supposed to do against Karl Brown's team.
Textbook, tag team wrestling Rand-O, it's that simple.
But you go ahead and call myself and Astros a formidable tag team, be my guest....we've never been on the same side before, least of all in Empire Pro....but nonetheless...you ignore the fact that this isn't just a regular team event. Outside of the Tag Team championship...there's not one team involved that's got things as crystal-clear as what needs to happen we have.
Why??
It's a Lethal Lottery Tournament, fellas.
I said it before, I said it when before stepping in with Karl Brown: I AM better than you and Bastard at this part of the business, the stats speak for themselves.
The titles, the accomplishments, all of it happens for a reason...and it's because I bust my ass inside that ring.
I didn't wanna team up with Melton at first but the fact is that I didn't have a choice...and I ended up a multi-time Tag Team Champion.
I also didn't really want to team with Hart either, given the past history...but rules are rules.
Now I'm in the second round of a tournament against a man who HOPES that he can do well with a man he's never teamed with as the Intercontinental Champion.
Myself??
I KNOW I can do well with my partner.
My partner...the EPW TELEVISION Champion became as such by defeating a man that USED TO BE the Intercontinental Champion.
Not exactly an easy task, but he still got it done.
You...you dirty bastard...defeated a man who had to CHEAT to take that title from ME.
See what I did there???
(Cruise claps twice)
Pardon me if I don't let this become genuine.
This week proves another test however....match-ups be-damned.
You want a test to get into the Finals, Bastard??
You got one, in fact you not only got a test...but it's one in the form of a REALITY CHECK won't like...
Cameron Cruise and Donovan Astros.
2011 King of the Cage Finalists.
FADEOUT
(CUTTO: Cameron Cruise in front of a white and blue EPW Aggression backdrop dressed in blue jeans and a a white EPW T-shirt.)
CC: First off, I gotta get it out of the way...but this is unbelievable, I just had to get it off my chest and done with.
The Amazing Logan and Michael Bastard....if I were any other kind of a man, I'd sit here and call you "The Amazing Rand-O and BITCH TITS", but I'm actually in a better mood as of late.
Wait...no...I'd probably still call you BI[/I ]TCH TITS, but the fact is that you're not exactly just any kind of a person who runs at the mouth.
Logan is...but then you're the Empire Pro Intercontinental Champion. I suppose having a lackey such as he can be around you would allow such perks.
Even if I don't have a clue as who the hell you are or why it is you know so much about me.
Stalker much??
No-no..that's Jason....and he's still as much of a tool as ever, but regardless...this isn't as nearly the match-up I was expecting, but as anyone knows...anything can happen here in Empire Pro.
Even a man as "Bumble-Boy Wonder" as your partner...who was it...Otaku??
Even he's able to gain alittle credit with a victory.
But this "helper-monkey"...that was actually pretty funny you say that because a chuckle-head like YOU doesn't even rate that HIGH...but this man standing before you has done more in this business than what you can hope to attain...even with you giving him the verbal blow-job that you do so well.
See, whatever the case is in Shawn Hart not showing up is irrellavent.
I got a Tag Team partner instead, that did exactly what he was supposed to do against Karl Brown's team.
Textbook, tag team wrestling Rand-O, it's that simple.
But you go ahead and call myself and Astros a formidable tag team, be my guest....we've never been on the same side before, least of all in Empire Pro....but nonetheless...you ignore the fact that this isn't just a regular team event. Outside of the Tag Team championship...there's not one team involved that's got things as crystal-clear as what needs to happen we have.
Why??
It's a Lethal Lottery Tournament, fellas.
I said it before, I said it when before stepping in with Karl Brown: I AM better than you and Bastard at this part of the business, the stats speak for themselves.
The titles, the accomplishments, all of it happens for a reason...and it's because I bust my ass inside that ring.
I didn't wanna team up with Melton at first but the fact is that I didn't have a choice...and I ended up a multi-time Tag Team Champion.
I also didn't really want to team with Hart either, given the past history...but rules are rules.
Now I'm in the second round of a tournament against a man who HOPES that he can do well with a man he's never teamed with as the Intercontinental Champion.
Myself??
I KNOW I can do well with my partner.
My partner...the EPW TELEVISION Champion became as such by defeating a man that USED TO BE the Intercontinental Champion.
Not exactly an easy task, but he still got it done.
You...you dirty bastard...defeated a man who had to CHEAT to take that title from ME.
See what I did there???
(Cruise claps twice)
Pardon me if I don't let this become genuine.
This week proves another test however....match-ups be-damned.
You want a test to get into the Finals, Bastard??
You got one, in fact you not only got a test...but it's one in the form of a REALITY CHECK won't like...
Cameron Cruise and Donovan Astros.
2011 King of the Cage Finalists.
FADEOUT
EpyonMarx
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[FADE IN to Otaku, standing in front of a Japanese flag. He’s dressed all in white, with a link to Save the Children in the bottom right of the screen]
Otaku: Hi, this is Empire Pro Wrestling’s Otaku. Following the devastating earthquake and tsunami that hit Japan last week there are hundreds of thousands of people now homeless. This number could very well rise as aftershocks continue. Save the Children estimates 100,000 children have been displaced. I urge all fans of Empire Pro Wrestling to follow the link to the right of the screen and donate what you can. I am proud to donate my earnings from the upcoming Aggression to help the victims of this devastating natural disaster, and hope that you can give whatever you can afford. Thank you.
[The screen changes, flashing an Empire Pro Wrestling logo, as we CUT TO:
A rather bizarre room. The walls are lined with DVD cases, models, clothing rails, CDs and books, all of which are in Japanese. There are also some shuriken embedded in the wall. Passing through the room, we see outside the window a shadowy outline training on a heavy bag; his kicks are causing the bag to swing pretty well. CUT TO: Outside, a close up of the bag as it’s getting kicked. A few swift kicks follow, before the bag is allowed to swing to a halt. From behind the bag steps Otaku, dressed in an Aikido hakama and standard Gi top. He’s sweating a little and mops his brow with a towel, but he’s not breathing all that heavily]
Otaku: Hey! Sorry to train in front of the camera like that, but what with everything that’s happened I’m finding there aren’t enough hours in the day. I even had to train while rewatching the Angelic Layer dub this morning, so you know something’s up! Not just that I’m helping out at a charity event later today for the victims of the disaster in Japan, even before then I was training like crazy, I’ve just got a bit less time to myself between now and Aggression so I’ve got to cram everything I can into the hours I’m awake.
Sorry, I’m rambling again. I’m just really stoked, I really am. I mean, me and Bastard-san made it! We’re through to the next round! Sure, we weren’t facing the Maniacs, who I still have no clue about by the way, but we couldn’t prep for the Masked Violators! I wonder what they look like under those masks? They’ve either got tentacles for lips or they’re the kind of people all women everywhere, and Beau Michaels, will drool and swoon over. If they follow the rules of anime at least. But that win means me and Bastard-san are now in the second round, me and the intercontinental champion, facing the current television champion, the Dragon slayer, and Cameron Cruise.
Wow. Cameron Cruise. There’s a name that I really need to look into more. Sounds that way anyways, from what I hear he’s a big deal in tag team wrestling in Empire Pro. One of two men to have held the belts three times! I’ve been back in the States for a few weeks, so I should know more about the guy since we work in the same company, but he hasn’t had his matches redone as anime yet! Come on!
But he had some things to say about me, so I guess I should retaliate, get mad, and punch a hole in the ground the size of the Sea of Tranquillity for effect, right?
[He pauses as if focusing his chi, his breathing slow…]
Otaku: Just kidding. Which I hope you were, Cameron-without-honorific, because Bumble Boy Wonder? That almost hurt! I can’t believe you think so little of someone who hasn’t even had the chance to say hello to you! I really hoped we could be friends, share some sake, and have some great matches as time goes by. But nooo, before I even get a chance to take my coat off, you start making it look like I’ve been disrespecting you! It was Logan-dono who said those things! I’m not Logan-dono! I’m Otaku! Bit of a size difference, and I’ve got far better dress-sense (sorry, Logan-dono!). I never said I was better than you, I’ve never wrestled you! I’ve had two matches in Empire Pro Wrestling and somehow that means I think I’m better than Cameron Cruise?
Wow… just how far out of the loop am I? Is there even a loop?
Listen, Cameron. And Astros-san (who I promise I won’t compare to Astro Boy more than absolutely necessary), because I only want to say this once. I’ve got Bastard-sans back. I’m going to do everything I can to help my team win this match. I know we can do it. I saw what Bastard-san can do and I am pleased as heck that I’m not his target. The guy is more focused on his mission than Heero Yuy, and he’s got Logan-dono to guide him. But that does not mean I think we’re better than you guys. Sure, on the night I hope we are and if I’m honest I think we will be, but I watched you guys beat Dragon-no kimi and Michaels-chan. You guys are going to be a challenge and are more on the same page than if Hart-san hadn’t disappeared into the underworld.
But please, Cruise and Astros-san, don’t think that because of your experience in the United States that you’re going to win. Don’t think that because you have had success in Empire Pro Wrestling that you’re going to win. I may not have held gold in Empire Pro, I’ve only had two matches, and I know I may be seen as the weakest guy in the match, but I’ve got heart. Bastard-san has the brawn and the skills, and I’ve got the heart and desire and drive to see this thing through to the very, very end. While I can still draw breath I will not let Bastard-san and Logan-dono down. I cannot let them down if I want to do my duty as a tag team partner. This isn’t about me, it’s about the team. I mean that from my heart.
I know, sappy. Laugh all you want, but with the POWER OF YOUTH and training with uber Bushy Brow Sensei, we will triumph! Oh, yeah!
[CUT TO: A black screen with “To be continued…
CUT TO: A plain black screen which shows some strange, OTT anime action as Otaku speaks]
Voice Over: Next time, on Otaku…
Otaku: Hey, Otaku-maniacians! Next time on Speed Otaku, Bastard-san and I face our toughest challenge yet as we track down the savage Star Killer! His victims are many, and the Tokyo Police Chief has told us to leave him alone, but you know us! We will hunt him and his accomplice down and bring them to justice! NO! BASTARD-SAN, DON’T OPEN THAT…
[SFX: BOOOM!]
Otaku: Next episode of Otaku, Down to the Depths of the Ship! See you then!
[FADE OUT]
Otaku: Hi, this is Empire Pro Wrestling’s Otaku. Following the devastating earthquake and tsunami that hit Japan last week there are hundreds of thousands of people now homeless. This number could very well rise as aftershocks continue. Save the Children estimates 100,000 children have been displaced. I urge all fans of Empire Pro Wrestling to follow the link to the right of the screen and donate what you can. I am proud to donate my earnings from the upcoming Aggression to help the victims of this devastating natural disaster, and hope that you can give whatever you can afford. Thank you.
[The screen changes, flashing an Empire Pro Wrestling logo, as we CUT TO:
A rather bizarre room. The walls are lined with DVD cases, models, clothing rails, CDs and books, all of which are in Japanese. There are also some shuriken embedded in the wall. Passing through the room, we see outside the window a shadowy outline training on a heavy bag; his kicks are causing the bag to swing pretty well. CUT TO: Outside, a close up of the bag as it’s getting kicked. A few swift kicks follow, before the bag is allowed to swing to a halt. From behind the bag steps Otaku, dressed in an Aikido hakama and standard Gi top. He’s sweating a little and mops his brow with a towel, but he’s not breathing all that heavily]
Otaku: Hey! Sorry to train in front of the camera like that, but what with everything that’s happened I’m finding there aren’t enough hours in the day. I even had to train while rewatching the Angelic Layer dub this morning, so you know something’s up! Not just that I’m helping out at a charity event later today for the victims of the disaster in Japan, even before then I was training like crazy, I’ve just got a bit less time to myself between now and Aggression so I’ve got to cram everything I can into the hours I’m awake.
Sorry, I’m rambling again. I’m just really stoked, I really am. I mean, me and Bastard-san made it! We’re through to the next round! Sure, we weren’t facing the Maniacs, who I still have no clue about by the way, but we couldn’t prep for the Masked Violators! I wonder what they look like under those masks? They’ve either got tentacles for lips or they’re the kind of people all women everywhere, and Beau Michaels, will drool and swoon over. If they follow the rules of anime at least. But that win means me and Bastard-san are now in the second round, me and the intercontinental champion, facing the current television champion, the Dragon slayer, and Cameron Cruise.
Wow. Cameron Cruise. There’s a name that I really need to look into more. Sounds that way anyways, from what I hear he’s a big deal in tag team wrestling in Empire Pro. One of two men to have held the belts three times! I’ve been back in the States for a few weeks, so I should know more about the guy since we work in the same company, but he hasn’t had his matches redone as anime yet! Come on!
But he had some things to say about me, so I guess I should retaliate, get mad, and punch a hole in the ground the size of the Sea of Tranquillity for effect, right?
[He pauses as if focusing his chi, his breathing slow…]
Otaku: Just kidding. Which I hope you were, Cameron-without-honorific, because Bumble Boy Wonder? That almost hurt! I can’t believe you think so little of someone who hasn’t even had the chance to say hello to you! I really hoped we could be friends, share some sake, and have some great matches as time goes by. But nooo, before I even get a chance to take my coat off, you start making it look like I’ve been disrespecting you! It was Logan-dono who said those things! I’m not Logan-dono! I’m Otaku! Bit of a size difference, and I’ve got far better dress-sense (sorry, Logan-dono!). I never said I was better than you, I’ve never wrestled you! I’ve had two matches in Empire Pro Wrestling and somehow that means I think I’m better than Cameron Cruise?
Wow… just how far out of the loop am I? Is there even a loop?
Listen, Cameron. And Astros-san (who I promise I won’t compare to Astro Boy more than absolutely necessary), because I only want to say this once. I’ve got Bastard-sans back. I’m going to do everything I can to help my team win this match. I know we can do it. I saw what Bastard-san can do and I am pleased as heck that I’m not his target. The guy is more focused on his mission than Heero Yuy, and he’s got Logan-dono to guide him. But that does not mean I think we’re better than you guys. Sure, on the night I hope we are and if I’m honest I think we will be, but I watched you guys beat Dragon-no kimi and Michaels-chan. You guys are going to be a challenge and are more on the same page than if Hart-san hadn’t disappeared into the underworld.
But please, Cruise and Astros-san, don’t think that because of your experience in the United States that you’re going to win. Don’t think that because you have had success in Empire Pro Wrestling that you’re going to win. I may not have held gold in Empire Pro, I’ve only had two matches, and I know I may be seen as the weakest guy in the match, but I’ve got heart. Bastard-san has the brawn and the skills, and I’ve got the heart and desire and drive to see this thing through to the very, very end. While I can still draw breath I will not let Bastard-san and Logan-dono down. I cannot let them down if I want to do my duty as a tag team partner. This isn’t about me, it’s about the team. I mean that from my heart.
I know, sappy. Laugh all you want, but with the POWER OF YOUTH and training with uber Bushy Brow Sensei, we will triumph! Oh, yeah!
[CUT TO: A black screen with “To be continued…
CUT TO: A plain black screen which shows some strange, OTT anime action as Otaku speaks]
Voice Over: Next time, on Otaku…
Otaku: Hey, Otaku-maniacians! Next time on Speed Otaku, Bastard-san and I face our toughest challenge yet as we track down the savage Star Killer! His victims are many, and the Tokyo Police Chief has told us to leave him alone, but you know us! We will hunt him and his accomplice down and bring them to justice! NO! BASTARD-SAN, DON’T OPEN THAT…
[SFX: BOOOM!]
Otaku: Next episode of Otaku, Down to the Depths of the Ship! See you then!
[FADE OUT]
TSiegel
I spoil things.
"You'll have to forgive me...but did I just come across Japan's version of Dudley-friggin'-Do-Right??"
(Fadein, Cameron Cruise in front of a white Empire Pro backdrop, dressed in blue jeans and a black hooded sweatshirt with the Logo across the chest, and matching Anarchy-style shades.)
CC: You'll have to excuse me, apparently Otaku..Ozone...Ostreicher...whatever his name is...doesn't quite get the American version of sarcasm as easily as everyone else does, and that's fine...it really is.
I just don't give a damn.
See...Orion...the point I was trying to make was that Rand-O there, just went ahead and ran his mouth about my partner and myself with no clue as to what original comments that BASTARD might have of his own.
There that is again.
(Cruise crosses his arms over his chest as he starts to pace abit.)
See, the thing I can't stand about some people in this business Oregano, is that they can't speak for themselves when they need to own up to something.
You know, like you have already, and unlike your partner, Bitch Tits.
And Tits McGee just happens to be the Empire Pro Intercontinental Champion.
Get what I'm saying now?? Obviously there's no language barrier so I'm hoping you've got the general understanding, but still.
It's good to know though, that you've got Bastard's back...I doubt he's got yours, seeing how self-ish Rand-O is speaking, but at least I know that you're willing to (Cruise finger-quotes) hench-man your way towards what you hope would be the ultimate goal.
But what then?? Do you really think Bitch Tits is going to run over and help you if either myself or Astros has you on the verge of defeat??
Doesn't seem like it to me, but then again...I could really give a shit either way, because I know at least MY partner has an interest in keeping the true definition of TEAM alive.
Unlike Shawn Hart...there's no hesitation on what needs to happen here, not like the BASTARD-partner you have.
But really....start thinking, Osaka.
Heart might play for alot from where you're from but it's not the only thing that works in your favor.
Common sense and believe it or not...experience DO play for ALOT.
As for the United States...YOU above all people should realize that it's never about the Location.
No, when it comes to vying for the Tag Team titles, just like any other accomplishment you contend for...Location, location, location...is probably the LAST factor that plays into it.
You said it yourself, I've held the Gold before, in fact, out of those remaining, outside of the CURRENT Champions I'm the only one remaining whose actually HELD those titles...so I SHOULD know.
You can say what you want about having heart, Odie, but you need more...ALOT MORE...than just heart to contend for those titles.
To WIN those titles.
Believe me when I tell you, kid, you might have heart...but it's not going to get you past Donovan Astros and Cameron Cruise.
Especially when the Tag Team Titles are going to be on the line in the Finals.
Now...whether or not you choose to believe that NOW or after the bell rings, that's up to you.
But either way, it's still a REALITY CHECK that you just...won't like.
FADEOUT
(Fadein, Cameron Cruise in front of a white Empire Pro backdrop, dressed in blue jeans and a black hooded sweatshirt with the Logo across the chest, and matching Anarchy-style shades.)
CC: You'll have to excuse me, apparently Otaku..Ozone...Ostreicher...whatever his name is...doesn't quite get the American version of sarcasm as easily as everyone else does, and that's fine...it really is.
I just don't give a damn.
See...Orion...the point I was trying to make was that Rand-O there, just went ahead and ran his mouth about my partner and myself with no clue as to what original comments that BASTARD might have of his own.
There that is again.
(Cruise crosses his arms over his chest as he starts to pace abit.)
See, the thing I can't stand about some people in this business Oregano, is that they can't speak for themselves when they need to own up to something.
You know, like you have already, and unlike your partner, Bitch Tits.
And Tits McGee just happens to be the Empire Pro Intercontinental Champion.
Get what I'm saying now?? Obviously there's no language barrier so I'm hoping you've got the general understanding, but still.
It's good to know though, that you've got Bastard's back...I doubt he's got yours, seeing how self-ish Rand-O is speaking, but at least I know that you're willing to (Cruise finger-quotes) hench-man your way towards what you hope would be the ultimate goal.
But what then?? Do you really think Bitch Tits is going to run over and help you if either myself or Astros has you on the verge of defeat??
Doesn't seem like it to me, but then again...I could really give a shit either way, because I know at least MY partner has an interest in keeping the true definition of TEAM alive.
Unlike Shawn Hart...there's no hesitation on what needs to happen here, not like the BASTARD-partner you have.
But really....start thinking, Osaka.
Heart might play for alot from where you're from but it's not the only thing that works in your favor.
Common sense and believe it or not...experience DO play for ALOT.
As for the United States...YOU above all people should realize that it's never about the Location.
No, when it comes to vying for the Tag Team titles, just like any other accomplishment you contend for...Location, location, location...is probably the LAST factor that plays into it.
You said it yourself, I've held the Gold before, in fact, out of those remaining, outside of the CURRENT Champions I'm the only one remaining whose actually HELD those titles...so I SHOULD know.
You can say what you want about having heart, Odie, but you need more...ALOT MORE...than just heart to contend for those titles.
To WIN those titles.
Believe me when I tell you, kid, you might have heart...but it's not going to get you past Donovan Astros and Cameron Cruise.
Especially when the Tag Team Titles are going to be on the line in the Finals.
Now...whether or not you choose to believe that NOW or after the bell rings, that's up to you.
But either way, it's still a REALITY CHECK that you just...won't like.
FADEOUT
"Hey, man! Good to hear from you!"
Fade in on the outside door of a hotel room... somewhere.
"No, no, I know EPW's been trying to get a hold of me all week. Cameron Cruise has been blowing up my phone, things have been real hectic. I had some personal stuff to take care of out here in LA."
I guess that's the where. The who certainly sounds like our Television Champion.
"Naw, it's not an angle... I'm not the kinda guy to take what happens off the camera and bring it on the camera. I have to laugh whenever I see one of the boys take their girlfriend and put them on camera... like she's not gonna be fair game at that point. Let's be real here. If you don't want your friends or your family brought into this business, you have that choice. Don't bring them in yourselves and if someone wants to try and *BLEEP* with you by trying to bring them up, just don't do business with them. Simple as that. I don't like that they're sending a camera crew down here to my hotel to get footage, but that beats the heck outta going to... hell, I don't even know where we're at this week, the office hasn't sent tickets yet. That slacker Siegel needs to get their *BLEEP* together. Dan Ryan wouldn't let this happen."
Yup, that's Donovan Astros alright.
"Uh huh... what? Twitter? No, I don't have a Twitter account, that *BLEEP* is a waste of... someone's posting as me? Really? How bad are they making me... yeah, I guess I'd better see this."
*KNOCK KNOCK!*
A hand from behind the camera raps on the door.
"Great, they're here. I'll have to look at it later. Make sure you email me that contract by Sunday! No, I know you have my best interests at heart, but... I gotta go."
The door opens and EPW Television Champion Donovan Astros greets the camera, blissfully unaware that he's been recorded on his phone the entire time. He throws a sly smile at the camera.
ASTROS: Come the hell on in. I don't know why they have you guys anymore, anyways. You perform about as well as a tripod.
CAMERAMAN: Conversation pieces. You think Mojo Massey can afford to fly out here?
ASTROS: Good point!
The cameraman follows Astros into his hotel room. Astros stands in front of the closet door, leaving a blank backdrop.
ASTROS: Will this work for the promo?
CAMERAMAN: Yep, looks good.
ASTROS: Alright. I don't have as much tiger blood or seven gram rocks as I did for Aggression, so I don't know if this'll be crazy enough for the EPW audience.
CAMERAMAN: Give it a shot.
Astros smirks.
ASTROS: Otaku and Michael Bastard. Otaku and Michael Bastard. What the hell is this? Have the Heirs of Wrestling been so God damned dominant in the tag team division that the best EPW can do with is to take a buncha random names, throw them in a hat, pull 'em out two at a time and see if any of these teams happen to mesh?
Astros puts his hand to his ear.
ASTROS: Wait, I'm being told that yes, that's exactly what happened. Lesbian Siegel is officially at the "throw **** on the wall and see what sticks" stage of managing EPW. Great job. But what's this, Donovan, you weren't even booked for this tournament! You were planning on making the Television Title the most important belt in EPW while this cage match tournament was going on! Why are you here? Why are you teaming with Cameron Cruise?
Astros shakes his head and laughs.
ASTROS: Why am I teaming with Cameron Cruise? Because my bosses asked me to. Because I owed someone a favor for getting me a job here. And because Cameron Cruise, while he might be the slightest bit annoying, is a bit more dependable than most of the jokers in EPW scrabbling along wondering why it is a team like the Heirs of Wrestling have been on top for what seems like decades, hating that a guy like me can walk through the door and kick it down, win championship gold at his first EPW pay per view event, and all their hard work, all the opportunities they pissed away, they had to leave EPW in a huff and ship it up to Boston!
The laughs and smiles leave Astros face rather quickly.
ASTROS: Let me put it to you this way. The Heirs of Wrestling are the most respected tag team in professional wrestling today. They've been EPW Tag Team Champions for so damned long now their waist pattern has worn into the belts. And taking that gold from them... what'll that do for me? How big will that make Donovan Astros's star here in EPW? But standing in my way are Otaku and Michael Bastard. Michael, I'll get to you in a second, since we have some history. But you, Otaku... I don't know what to make of you.
I mean, you did do a nice thing there by promising to donate the loser's share of the purse to victims of the earthquake and tsunami in Sendai. I'm obviously not going to win a nice guy battle with you. Good thing we're wrestling in a steel cage. After that, though... things appear to go off the deep end. You need to focus, kid. All this Star Killer this and konichiwa that might keep you entertained, but you're about to step into the ring with one of the most decorated tag team wrestlers in EPW history and the greatest wrestler on God's green Earth! It's gonna take more than some boom anime babes to take this match from me and Cruise! And from what I've seen of you in the ring... well, it's a good thing you have Michael Bastard to do your heavy lifting. The bright side of all this is that you'll have plenty of time to live your cartoon life after Aggression, since Otaku will just be another named crossed off in the brackets.
Astros laughs to himself.
ASTROS: Now, as for you, Bastard, the last time we were in a ring together you were double crossing me. At least, that's what you can call it. Even Stevie Wonder saw what you were gonna do coming. I wasn't surprised, Michael. Hell, I wasn't even mad! I know better than anyone that you have to do what you have to do to get ahead in this sport. You have to take advantage of every opportunity laid out in front of you. And in the end, it was obvious to EPW that the class of the company was all in one side of that match, even if Karl Brown had a nothing as his tag team partner there. This time, there's no 'surprises' though. We know exactly what to expect from each other. Unfortunately for you, you seem to have suffered a bit of a downgrade in the partner department.
As much as your mouthpiece might want to talk him up, Otaku is no Donovan Astros. Otaku will never be a Donovan Astros and Logan, all you're doing is kidding yourself and your meal ticket if you think otherwise. You might like him for now 'cause he's got no spine, but there's gonna be a time when Otaku is stuck in the middle of the ring, locked into the Martyr's Cross or the Cruise Control and the other one of us is gonna be staring your boy down, daring Bastard to come do something about it. How're you gonna feel then, Logan, to see Otaku screaming in pain and your chance at managing half the EPW Tag Team Champions going up in flames? You might've wanted to work with me instead of against me, Logan... but that ship has long since sailed. Really, I feel like not only is your partner worse than before, Bastard, but my partner is worlds better!
Astros is beaming at this point.
ASTROS: So you know, as much as it was a favor to fill in for some quitter who couldn't see their work through here in EPW, it was also my pleasure. It's not every day that you get to step in and team with a multiple time tag team champion across the world, a guy with the resume of Cameron Cruise. And for him it's all upside too, cause it's not every day you get to team with Donovan Astros either! It's a picture perfect situation and the picture's getting clearer and clearer every Aggression! You are looking at one half of the team that will conquer the cage. One half of the team that will do what people say can't be done. One half of the team that will be the next EPW Tag Team Champions. And Bastard, Logan, Otaku... what you're looking at is the end of your brush with greatness.
Astros cracks an evil grin as we fade to black.
Fade in on the outside door of a hotel room... somewhere.
"No, no, I know EPW's been trying to get a hold of me all week. Cameron Cruise has been blowing up my phone, things have been real hectic. I had some personal stuff to take care of out here in LA."
I guess that's the where. The who certainly sounds like our Television Champion.
"Naw, it's not an angle... I'm not the kinda guy to take what happens off the camera and bring it on the camera. I have to laugh whenever I see one of the boys take their girlfriend and put them on camera... like she's not gonna be fair game at that point. Let's be real here. If you don't want your friends or your family brought into this business, you have that choice. Don't bring them in yourselves and if someone wants to try and *BLEEP* with you by trying to bring them up, just don't do business with them. Simple as that. I don't like that they're sending a camera crew down here to my hotel to get footage, but that beats the heck outta going to... hell, I don't even know where we're at this week, the office hasn't sent tickets yet. That slacker Siegel needs to get their *BLEEP* together. Dan Ryan wouldn't let this happen."
Yup, that's Donovan Astros alright.
"Uh huh... what? Twitter? No, I don't have a Twitter account, that *BLEEP* is a waste of... someone's posting as me? Really? How bad are they making me... yeah, I guess I'd better see this."
*KNOCK KNOCK!*
A hand from behind the camera raps on the door.
"Great, they're here. I'll have to look at it later. Make sure you email me that contract by Sunday! No, I know you have my best interests at heart, but... I gotta go."
The door opens and EPW Television Champion Donovan Astros greets the camera, blissfully unaware that he's been recorded on his phone the entire time. He throws a sly smile at the camera.
ASTROS: Come the hell on in. I don't know why they have you guys anymore, anyways. You perform about as well as a tripod.
CAMERAMAN: Conversation pieces. You think Mojo Massey can afford to fly out here?
ASTROS: Good point!
The cameraman follows Astros into his hotel room. Astros stands in front of the closet door, leaving a blank backdrop.
ASTROS: Will this work for the promo?
CAMERAMAN: Yep, looks good.
ASTROS: Alright. I don't have as much tiger blood or seven gram rocks as I did for Aggression, so I don't know if this'll be crazy enough for the EPW audience.
CAMERAMAN: Give it a shot.
Astros smirks.
ASTROS: Otaku and Michael Bastard. Otaku and Michael Bastard. What the hell is this? Have the Heirs of Wrestling been so God damned dominant in the tag team division that the best EPW can do with is to take a buncha random names, throw them in a hat, pull 'em out two at a time and see if any of these teams happen to mesh?
Astros puts his hand to his ear.
ASTROS: Wait, I'm being told that yes, that's exactly what happened. Lesbian Siegel is officially at the "throw **** on the wall and see what sticks" stage of managing EPW. Great job. But what's this, Donovan, you weren't even booked for this tournament! You were planning on making the Television Title the most important belt in EPW while this cage match tournament was going on! Why are you here? Why are you teaming with Cameron Cruise?
Astros shakes his head and laughs.
ASTROS: Why am I teaming with Cameron Cruise? Because my bosses asked me to. Because I owed someone a favor for getting me a job here. And because Cameron Cruise, while he might be the slightest bit annoying, is a bit more dependable than most of the jokers in EPW scrabbling along wondering why it is a team like the Heirs of Wrestling have been on top for what seems like decades, hating that a guy like me can walk through the door and kick it down, win championship gold at his first EPW pay per view event, and all their hard work, all the opportunities they pissed away, they had to leave EPW in a huff and ship it up to Boston!
The laughs and smiles leave Astros face rather quickly.
ASTROS: Let me put it to you this way. The Heirs of Wrestling are the most respected tag team in professional wrestling today. They've been EPW Tag Team Champions for so damned long now their waist pattern has worn into the belts. And taking that gold from them... what'll that do for me? How big will that make Donovan Astros's star here in EPW? But standing in my way are Otaku and Michael Bastard. Michael, I'll get to you in a second, since we have some history. But you, Otaku... I don't know what to make of you.
I mean, you did do a nice thing there by promising to donate the loser's share of the purse to victims of the earthquake and tsunami in Sendai. I'm obviously not going to win a nice guy battle with you. Good thing we're wrestling in a steel cage. After that, though... things appear to go off the deep end. You need to focus, kid. All this Star Killer this and konichiwa that might keep you entertained, but you're about to step into the ring with one of the most decorated tag team wrestlers in EPW history and the greatest wrestler on God's green Earth! It's gonna take more than some boom anime babes to take this match from me and Cruise! And from what I've seen of you in the ring... well, it's a good thing you have Michael Bastard to do your heavy lifting. The bright side of all this is that you'll have plenty of time to live your cartoon life after Aggression, since Otaku will just be another named crossed off in the brackets.
Astros laughs to himself.
ASTROS: Now, as for you, Bastard, the last time we were in a ring together you were double crossing me. At least, that's what you can call it. Even Stevie Wonder saw what you were gonna do coming. I wasn't surprised, Michael. Hell, I wasn't even mad! I know better than anyone that you have to do what you have to do to get ahead in this sport. You have to take advantage of every opportunity laid out in front of you. And in the end, it was obvious to EPW that the class of the company was all in one side of that match, even if Karl Brown had a nothing as his tag team partner there. This time, there's no 'surprises' though. We know exactly what to expect from each other. Unfortunately for you, you seem to have suffered a bit of a downgrade in the partner department.
As much as your mouthpiece might want to talk him up, Otaku is no Donovan Astros. Otaku will never be a Donovan Astros and Logan, all you're doing is kidding yourself and your meal ticket if you think otherwise. You might like him for now 'cause he's got no spine, but there's gonna be a time when Otaku is stuck in the middle of the ring, locked into the Martyr's Cross or the Cruise Control and the other one of us is gonna be staring your boy down, daring Bastard to come do something about it. How're you gonna feel then, Logan, to see Otaku screaming in pain and your chance at managing half the EPW Tag Team Champions going up in flames? You might've wanted to work with me instead of against me, Logan... but that ship has long since sailed. Really, I feel like not only is your partner worse than before, Bastard, but my partner is worlds better!
Astros is beaming at this point.
ASTROS: So you know, as much as it was a favor to fill in for some quitter who couldn't see their work through here in EPW, it was also my pleasure. It's not every day that you get to step in and team with a multiple time tag team champion across the world, a guy with the resume of Cameron Cruise. And for him it's all upside too, cause it's not every day you get to team with Donovan Astros either! It's a picture perfect situation and the picture's getting clearer and clearer every Aggression! You are looking at one half of the team that will conquer the cage. One half of the team that will do what people say can't be done. One half of the team that will be the next EPW Tag Team Champions. And Bastard, Logan, Otaku... what you're looking at is the end of your brush with greatness.
Astros cracks an evil grin as we fade to black.
EpyonMarx
New member
- Joined
- Nov 16, 2003
- Messages
- 1,004
- Points
- 0
- Location
- Nottingham, England
- Website
- www.karl-brown.co.uk
[FADE IN to Otaku sitting in a darkened room. We can hear a lot of hustle and bustle outside, and the Empire Pro Wrestling newcomer is reading something while tapping his finger next to a button. After a few seconds he presses the button and says something in Japanese that the boom mic doesn’t pick up. He gets a response, also in Japanese, before he bids the other person goodbye and looks up at the camera. We can see he’s put the characters for Kibou (hope) in red above his left eye, and dark circles round both eyes]
Otaku: I’m really, really sorry about this. Like I said, I’m busy helping out, doing what I can to help the people of Japan. I was actually in Miyagi prefecture a couple of months ago, and I loved visiting Fukushima and Iwate when I was in Japan. I pretty much owe Japan a lot and I’m doing what I can. It has meant I’ve not been able to put in the effort that you guys deserve at home, and I truly am sorry for that, but I hope you can understand given the circumstances. That said, I’m still looking forward to appearing on your screens when Bastard-san and I face Astros-san and Cruise.
That’s Cruise. No honorific. Because he doesn’t deserve one. I mean sure he’s one of the most decorated tag team wrestlers in Empire Pro Wrestling history, he’s won it the most, but that doesn’t mean I have to respect someone who says one thing and immediately contradicts himself.
Come on, Cruise. You say location doesn’t matter, but time and again you’ve said you and Hart-san, and now Astros-san, are going to win this tournament because in Empire Pro Wrestling you’ve won the tag team titles a bazillion times (and yet still don’t have the record for most time spent as a tag team champion). Didn’t I tell you, don’t count me out just because my experience in the United States is limited? Between my first two matches in Empire Pro, in those years, I didn’t just sit around watching anime. No, I read some manga too. In Japan. Because I was wrestling in Japan for those years. Which explains why I’ve not heard much about you, Cruise, but from what I’ve seen I’m not surprised I’ve not heard much about you. You have no respect. You have one thing on your mind, what’s going to make Cruise look like a star, and you don’t respect other people.
Case in point – you think I’m happy to “henchman” myself to tag team gold. When did I say anything like that? At least Astros-san showed he actually did more than hear the words, he took them in and understood them. Because I said I’ve got Bastard-san’s back, and I meant it. I said I wasn’t going to let Bastard-san do all the work or carry more than he can. And I meant it. But you didn’t hear that, did you, Cruise? No. You were too busy thinking how great Cruise is to realise just how idiotic you are.
I swear, no-one would miss you if you suffered from a Sand Coffin attack. Grr!
Astros-san… Astros-san understands. He’s shown some respect, and I respect him for that. But even he thinks I’m a joke. Because I have something I love. Because I enjoy watching anime – anime, not cartoons, there is a huge difference that I can get into after Aggression if you want since it’ll take a few hours to explain it – you think I’m something to laugh at? That I’m living in a fantasy world?
Wow… you couldn’t write something like that.
Please listen, Astros-san, because I do respect you. This is a steel cage match, and I’m an opponent. I may wear costumes, and you’ll see me backstage watching an anime or reading a manga or playing an RPG while others listen to rap or try to impress the ladies by doing over 9000(!!!!!!) pushups on one finger, but that doesn’t mean I’m not serious in the ring. It doesn’t mean I don’t have plenty of things you have never seen before in my gourd of tricks. It doesn’t mean I didn’t learn a few things between matches in Empire Pro Wrestling. And while you may or may not be the greatest on this beautiful yet fragile world, I’ve got a lot more heart than you realise, and heart can change destiny. Destiny isn’t written in the stars. It can be changed with guts, with heart. It’s not easy, it’s never easy, nothing worth getting is going to be easy. But if you think I’m going to be a pushover, you’re going to be struck down very very very surprisingly quickly, and you’ll be back to looking for opponents for the TV title.
Which I could go after couldn’t I… hmm… me and Astros-san for the TV title… could be fun.
No… I’ve got to focus. It’s Bastard-san and me taking on Astros-san and Cruise for a chance to compete for the World Tag Team Championships. TV title sometime later.
I’m really looking forward to this contest, but I hope – I sincerely hope – that Cruise shows he’s worthy of the respect his title reigns in Empire Pro Wrestling are supposed to represent.
Odd though… if Cruise is thinking he’s going to be tag champion again because he’s been tag champion in Empire Pro Wrestling before, how can he team with someone who says he’s the greatest in this beautiful yet fragile world because of his success short-term here and long term elsewhere? Gah, I’m getting confused! Where’s Mahoro?
[FADE to a black screen with a warm voice over announcer before we get lots of anime-esque footage of explosions, scantily clad women, and other things that have nearly no relevance to what’s being said!]
Voice Over: Next time, on Otaku…
Otaku: Hey fans, Otaku here! Next time on Otaku, Bastard-san and me venture deeper and deeper and deeper into the layer of the Dreadlord Astrocruise! Not to be confused with Astrotrain, Astrocruise has kidnapped the Princess and it’s up to Bastard-san and me to save her! But Astrocruise has set traps, will we make it in time?
Next time on Otaku – Into the Fires with Courage and Aggression in Our Hearts – Otaku and Bastard-san FIGHT!
I hope we make it in time…
[FADE OUT]
Otaku: I’m really, really sorry about this. Like I said, I’m busy helping out, doing what I can to help the people of Japan. I was actually in Miyagi prefecture a couple of months ago, and I loved visiting Fukushima and Iwate when I was in Japan. I pretty much owe Japan a lot and I’m doing what I can. It has meant I’ve not been able to put in the effort that you guys deserve at home, and I truly am sorry for that, but I hope you can understand given the circumstances. That said, I’m still looking forward to appearing on your screens when Bastard-san and I face Astros-san and Cruise.
That’s Cruise. No honorific. Because he doesn’t deserve one. I mean sure he’s one of the most decorated tag team wrestlers in Empire Pro Wrestling history, he’s won it the most, but that doesn’t mean I have to respect someone who says one thing and immediately contradicts himself.
Come on, Cruise. You say location doesn’t matter, but time and again you’ve said you and Hart-san, and now Astros-san, are going to win this tournament because in Empire Pro Wrestling you’ve won the tag team titles a bazillion times (and yet still don’t have the record for most time spent as a tag team champion). Didn’t I tell you, don’t count me out just because my experience in the United States is limited? Between my first two matches in Empire Pro, in those years, I didn’t just sit around watching anime. No, I read some manga too. In Japan. Because I was wrestling in Japan for those years. Which explains why I’ve not heard much about you, Cruise, but from what I’ve seen I’m not surprised I’ve not heard much about you. You have no respect. You have one thing on your mind, what’s going to make Cruise look like a star, and you don’t respect other people.
Case in point – you think I’m happy to “henchman” myself to tag team gold. When did I say anything like that? At least Astros-san showed he actually did more than hear the words, he took them in and understood them. Because I said I’ve got Bastard-san’s back, and I meant it. I said I wasn’t going to let Bastard-san do all the work or carry more than he can. And I meant it. But you didn’t hear that, did you, Cruise? No. You were too busy thinking how great Cruise is to realise just how idiotic you are.
I swear, no-one would miss you if you suffered from a Sand Coffin attack. Grr!
Astros-san… Astros-san understands. He’s shown some respect, and I respect him for that. But even he thinks I’m a joke. Because I have something I love. Because I enjoy watching anime – anime, not cartoons, there is a huge difference that I can get into after Aggression if you want since it’ll take a few hours to explain it – you think I’m something to laugh at? That I’m living in a fantasy world?
Wow… you couldn’t write something like that.
Please listen, Astros-san, because I do respect you. This is a steel cage match, and I’m an opponent. I may wear costumes, and you’ll see me backstage watching an anime or reading a manga or playing an RPG while others listen to rap or try to impress the ladies by doing over 9000(!!!!!!) pushups on one finger, but that doesn’t mean I’m not serious in the ring. It doesn’t mean I don’t have plenty of things you have never seen before in my gourd of tricks. It doesn’t mean I didn’t learn a few things between matches in Empire Pro Wrestling. And while you may or may not be the greatest on this beautiful yet fragile world, I’ve got a lot more heart than you realise, and heart can change destiny. Destiny isn’t written in the stars. It can be changed with guts, with heart. It’s not easy, it’s never easy, nothing worth getting is going to be easy. But if you think I’m going to be a pushover, you’re going to be struck down very very very surprisingly quickly, and you’ll be back to looking for opponents for the TV title.
Which I could go after couldn’t I… hmm… me and Astros-san for the TV title… could be fun.
No… I’ve got to focus. It’s Bastard-san and me taking on Astros-san and Cruise for a chance to compete for the World Tag Team Championships. TV title sometime later.
I’m really looking forward to this contest, but I hope – I sincerely hope – that Cruise shows he’s worthy of the respect his title reigns in Empire Pro Wrestling are supposed to represent.
Odd though… if Cruise is thinking he’s going to be tag champion again because he’s been tag champion in Empire Pro Wrestling before, how can he team with someone who says he’s the greatest in this beautiful yet fragile world because of his success short-term here and long term elsewhere? Gah, I’m getting confused! Where’s Mahoro?
[FADE to a black screen with a warm voice over announcer before we get lots of anime-esque footage of explosions, scantily clad women, and other things that have nearly no relevance to what’s being said!]
Voice Over: Next time, on Otaku…
Otaku: Hey fans, Otaku here! Next time on Otaku, Bastard-san and me venture deeper and deeper and deeper into the layer of the Dreadlord Astrocruise! Not to be confused with Astrotrain, Astrocruise has kidnapped the Princess and it’s up to Bastard-san and me to save her! But Astrocruise has set traps, will we make it in time?
Next time on Otaku – Into the Fires with Courage and Aggression in Our Hearts – Otaku and Bastard-san FIGHT!
I hope we make it in time…
[FADE OUT]