AGGRESSION 58: Otaku vs. Erik Black
- Thread starter DBrunkGXW
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Re: AGGRESSION 58: Otaku vs. DOPESMOKER!!
(FADE IN: The scene opens up backstage at the arena. Standing before the camera with a mic and a smile is Kenny Lombardo, who looks happy to be here, even though he had his regular job as the live TV reporter on Aggression stolen by that dyke bitch Siegel. At his back is a simple gray door. The nameplate -- which could have at one time read "Erik Black" -- is visibly obscured by a piece of masking tape with a hastily scrawled "DOPESMOKER" written over it in magic marker.)
Kenny Lombardo
Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. Kenny Lombardo here... and joining me here in just a moment is arguably one of the most controversial professional wrestlers in Empire Pro's history, as well as a prolific tag team legend. Here for this exclusive interview is Erik Black!
(A muffled voice suddenly BARKS from the other side of the door, startling the reporter.)
"DOPESMOKER-R-R!!"
(The door suddenly pops open, and then, emerging from the smoke-filled recesses of the janitor's closet turned into a private dressing room for one of professional wrestling's most underrated talents, a red-eyed and black-maned DOPESMOKER is suddenly standing beside Kenny Lombardo, ready for an interview.)
Dopesmoker
There is no more "Erik Black", Ken; there is only DOPESMOKER now!!
Kenny Lombardo
What are you talking about, Erik? Are you HIGH?
Dopesmoker
EXTREMELY, but that's not the point...
Nobody ever says, "Oh man, Harold Fiano just nailed him with the CHAOS BOMB!", or "Crap, dude, James Kattman just LITTERBOMBED HIM through the table!", or "Jesus Tap-Dancing Christ, Jason Reeves just EVEN-FLOWED HIM right into the grape jell-o!" It's always ANARKY... COPYCAT... STALKER... cool, sexy shit like that!
Well if everybody else gets to walk around here being called by their badass single-word stage names, then so do I!
Kenny Lombardo
Well, I didn't know it was that big of a deal... though honestly, I think more people would refer to you by your own nickname if they weren't afraid the FCC would take us off the air of saying the word "DOPESMOKER" very loudly and prominently.
Dopesmoker
You think I'm going to pick up chicks with a name like "Erik Black"? Forget it, Ken! From now on, I only answer to the name of Dopesmoker...
Kenny Lombardo
Very well, if you insist...
Tell me then... DOPESMOKER... your thoughts on the outcome of that main event at Aggression 57 in Penascola. Unfortunately, you and your partner would not walk away the EPW Tag Team Champions that night...
Dopesmoker
Even more unfortunate is the fact that I grievously DENIED all my loyal dope fiends out there the mind-blowing and reality-defying aeronautics that were promised that evening. I don't really know what to say, other than maybe I was smoking the wrong kind of weed...
But when it comes to the Tag Team Titles, I've been there and done that, Ken. Wrote the BOOK on it, as far as I'm concerned. What's more important to ME is that in five consecutive matches, I successfully ESCAPED the steel cage. I may not be the KING of the Cage... but I think it's clear I've defined myself as its JOKER!
Kenny Lombardo
I won't argue with you on that... although I suppose the greatest joke of all was played on your tag partner, Impulse. Some would say the two of you could have came away with the victory had you not left him alone to fend for himself in that steel cage.
Dopesmoker
"Left him alone?" No, Kenny... I don't think so. Despite what you, the commentators, and the fans are all saying right now, I didn't abandon Impulse in that cage. On the contrary, Impulse abandoned ME.
He could have put more trust in me... an Empire Pro veteran and Tag Team legend... and maybe if he'd respected my abilities a bit more, we could be looking forward to the final round of this tournament, taking on the Second Coming of the Cameron Cruise Project -- or as like to call them, S-Triple-C-P. But that didn't happen, Ken. Rather than follow me over that cage wall when we had the chance to win it, he chose to stay in there, because apparently escape is too "EASY" for him. And where did that choice get him? Drilled into the canvas...
Kenny Lombardo
Be as it may, Impulse has announced that he doesn't regret that choice.
Dopesmoker
Well, good for him. I guess if the entire world was licking MY balls with all the praise he's getting for being a courageous and upstanding hero, I'd probably say I have no regrets either. But instead, I got everybody calling me -- the friendly neighborhood DOPESMOKER -- a low-down, rotten COWARD... when all I tried to do was win the match on my own terms. Mind you, I didn't cheat... I didn't cut corners... I simply climbed out and walked to the back, like ANYBODY would do when they try to win a cage match.
It seems like no matter what I do, I only end up doing it WRONG, Ken. Last year, guys like The First were shitting all over me when I had the guts to say I didn't really care about winning or losing. But what did I do to deserve that, Ken? All I was doing was just going out there to make my presence felt and make the Cosmos SHUDDER with my high-flying awesomeness. What's the harm in that?
And now, when I actually TRY to win a match... once again, I'm WRONG. As my partner seems to believe, the only way I can get the job done is by doing it the "easy" way... but compared to WHAT, Ken? The HARD way? Who GIVES a shit?! There's SIX ANGRY MEN all packed into the cage at once! There's no "easy" or "hard" way of doing things when the situation is that damn out of control; you just find a way of getting it done. That's just what I tried to do... and still, the people out there disrespect me and call me a COWARD. Do you honestly think I deserve to be treated like that, Ken... for simply being myself?
Kenny Lombardo
I dunno... though if you ask me, I feel that as long as he's happy with whatever he's doing in the ring, one should feel entitled to believe that he's doing the right thing. In your case, if all you're interested in is getting high and thinking of various ways to try and break your own neck jumping off the top rope, I'd say knock yourself out... rhetorically speaking, of course. But then again, there will always be athletes in this sport that have a certain level of devotion to excellence and pushing themselves to great distances... as was the case with The First. It also seems to be the case in Impulse.
Dopesmoker
And hey man... that's COOL! I'm knock trying to knock their process, or anything. All I'm saying is, why do they feel the need to knock MINE?
Because I get HIGH?
(Dopesmoker pulls a spliff out of his shirt pocket and lights up, draping an arm over the reporter's shoulder in Jake Roberts fashion while Kenny stiffens up and tries to keep his face away from the second-hand inhalation.)
Dopesmoker
That's the thing I don't understand about guys like Impulse... The First... Karl Brown... Rocko Daymon... they're all supposed to be GOOD GUYS, right? Well why in the hell do they act like such ASSHOLES to anybody in the locker room who doesn't think and act EXACTLY like them? I can understand that they're in it to win it and they won't let anything stop them... that's fine... but why the superiority complexes? Why the snide holier-than-thou remarks? Why the dick-measuring contests? Why HUMILIATE me in front of my own FANS and turn them against me?
Why can't we all just accept to each his own and be COOL with each other? I mean, after all... aren't we all on the same side? Aren't we all working toward the same common goal of giving the fans their money's worth and sending them home happy?
(He shakes his head in frustration and takes another heavy hit off the joint, prompting a fit of coughing that allows Kenny to sneak back a few steps.)
Kenny Lombardo
Okay, I see your point. Maybe many people were wrong to call you a coward when, as you just pointed out, all you were really trying to do was move on in the tournament...
Dopesmoker
Well I'm glad SOMEONE finally gets it...
Kenny Lombardo
I don't know quite what to say about your quest for acceptances as a stoner and wrestler... I myself find it a little hard to understand. But I guess what it all boils down to is that, despite the idealogical differences you may have with the other men in the locker room, all you can do is be yourself and do the best at what you can do. If you ask me, I think the fans turned on that night because they were disappointed when faced with the evidence that you two weren't going to work out as a functioning tag team... but some things were just not meant to be.
Dopesmoker
Right, man... easy come, easy go. When I look at the silver lining in the CLOUD...
(He lets out a big hit, sending an actual cloud of smoke lingering in the air. He chuckles stupidly at this feat for a moment while Kenny makes a face.)
Dopesmoker
Heh... I remind myself, hey... at least I'm out of friggin' cage matches for a little while! Which is good, cause let me tell you... I'm STILL feeling it. Why do you think I'm SMOKING all this DOPE?
(Puff, puff... he tries to pass to Kenny, but the reporter shakes his head.)
Kenny Lombardo
Well... I just figured that's what you do.
Dopesmoker
It's MEDICAL, man! I'm trying to numb myself from the PAIN! A bromangous can only be thrown into steel so many times before he completely falls apart...
Even though I'm finally DONE with King of the Cage tournaments for the time being, I've gotta get my mind and body as one again when I step into the ring for Aggression 58. There's no excuse for me to make... I let down the fans back in Penascola. They came expecting to see the DOPESMOKER come flying off the top rope, and all they saw instead was a mere grass-sniffer shake a leg a couple times and bail for some post-match Taco Bell. That ain't STONER, dude... that's just lame.
Kenny Lombardo
Maybe against an opponent like OTAKU, you can find a chance at redemption. He's also quite the high-flyer... if not a little unusual.
Dopesmoker
I was thinking the same thing, Ken. I mean, I'll be honest... the whole anime thing is weird to me, too. But hey... that doesn't mean I can't RESPECT it. He's got his Japanese culture and cartoons, and I've got my stoner and doom metal. Sure, we're two different men from two completely different worlds. But who we are as individuals isn't important; like I said earlier, to each his own. Rather, all that matters is the common passion we share for high-flying and aerial maneuvers. The kind that get the fans off their asses and on their feet, SCREAMING!
Can't you just imagine it, Kenny? Otaku's hardcore Liger worship against the AWESOMENESS of my cosmic stoner mat magic? I bet we could go the entire match without ever ONCE having our feet touch the ground! It'd be like... watching an episode of Dragonball Z... while you're HIGH!
Kenny Lombardo
Can't say I've had the pleasure of doing that...
You know, it's funny, Dopesmoker... but this sounds the most excited you've been for a match in a long time.
Dopesmoker
Can you really blame me, Ken? For the past year, I've been walking into physically tolling cage matches, fighting opponents who were so caught up in the professional wrestling rat race that they were only interested in arguing over my habits and my motivations than my actual ability to kick ass and be awesome. Well, I'm tired of getting caught up in all the intellectual quagmires... and I'm also tired of having to defend who I am and what I do EACH and EVERY TIME. All I want to do, Kenny, is to get into that ring and mix it up with somebody who can be just as creative, just as daring, and just as entertaining as myself.
Maybe I can get that with Otaku. It's not about who's BETTER, or who's more RIGHTEOUS than the other... but simply two guys with a well of talent between them and fifteen minutes to make the amazing happen in the squared circle. The rest of the locker room may consider us outcasts simply for thinking that way... but we'll see what the FANS think when that bell rings and the two of us force them to believe the unbelievable!
Kenny Lombardo
If what you're saying is true, then I'm sure we'll all look forward to seeing what promises to be an exhilarating match. At any rate, maybe the answer to your struggles over acceptance and respect may come through a more positive outlook and motivation in the ring. Anyway, Dopesmoker... thank you for your time in giving this interview, and good luck at Aggression.
Dopesmoker
Thanks, Kenny... now if you don't mind, I got some dope to smoke...
(Dopesmoker turns around and grabs the doorknob, and as his "room" comes open, he's nearly swept to the floor by an avalanche of brooms and mops. Frantically, he jams them all back into the closet and shuts the door behind him. Smoke starts seeping through the cracks following a muted chorus of coughs from inside. Kenny makes another face and walks off as the camera goes to black.)
(FADE IN: The scene opens up backstage at the arena. Standing before the camera with a mic and a smile is Kenny Lombardo, who looks happy to be here, even though he had his regular job as the live TV reporter on Aggression stolen by that dyke bitch Siegel. At his back is a simple gray door. The nameplate -- which could have at one time read "Erik Black" -- is visibly obscured by a piece of masking tape with a hastily scrawled "DOPESMOKER" written over it in magic marker.)
Kenny Lombardo
Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. Kenny Lombardo here... and joining me here in just a moment is arguably one of the most controversial professional wrestlers in Empire Pro's history, as well as a prolific tag team legend. Here for this exclusive interview is Erik Black!
(A muffled voice suddenly BARKS from the other side of the door, startling the reporter.)
"DOPESMOKER-R-R!!"
(The door suddenly pops open, and then, emerging from the smoke-filled recesses of the janitor's closet turned into a private dressing room for one of professional wrestling's most underrated talents, a red-eyed and black-maned DOPESMOKER is suddenly standing beside Kenny Lombardo, ready for an interview.)
Dopesmoker
There is no more "Erik Black", Ken; there is only DOPESMOKER now!!
Kenny Lombardo
What are you talking about, Erik? Are you HIGH?
Dopesmoker
EXTREMELY, but that's not the point...
Nobody ever says, "Oh man, Harold Fiano just nailed him with the CHAOS BOMB!", or "Crap, dude, James Kattman just LITTERBOMBED HIM through the table!", or "Jesus Tap-Dancing Christ, Jason Reeves just EVEN-FLOWED HIM right into the grape jell-o!" It's always ANARKY... COPYCAT... STALKER... cool, sexy shit like that!
Well if everybody else gets to walk around here being called by their badass single-word stage names, then so do I!
Kenny Lombardo
Well, I didn't know it was that big of a deal... though honestly, I think more people would refer to you by your own nickname if they weren't afraid the FCC would take us off the air of saying the word "DOPESMOKER" very loudly and prominently.
Dopesmoker
You think I'm going to pick up chicks with a name like "Erik Black"? Forget it, Ken! From now on, I only answer to the name of Dopesmoker...
Kenny Lombardo
Very well, if you insist...
Tell me then... DOPESMOKER... your thoughts on the outcome of that main event at Aggression 57 in Penascola. Unfortunately, you and your partner would not walk away the EPW Tag Team Champions that night...
Dopesmoker
Even more unfortunate is the fact that I grievously DENIED all my loyal dope fiends out there the mind-blowing and reality-defying aeronautics that were promised that evening. I don't really know what to say, other than maybe I was smoking the wrong kind of weed...
But when it comes to the Tag Team Titles, I've been there and done that, Ken. Wrote the BOOK on it, as far as I'm concerned. What's more important to ME is that in five consecutive matches, I successfully ESCAPED the steel cage. I may not be the KING of the Cage... but I think it's clear I've defined myself as its JOKER!
Kenny Lombardo
I won't argue with you on that... although I suppose the greatest joke of all was played on your tag partner, Impulse. Some would say the two of you could have came away with the victory had you not left him alone to fend for himself in that steel cage.
Dopesmoker
"Left him alone?" No, Kenny... I don't think so. Despite what you, the commentators, and the fans are all saying right now, I didn't abandon Impulse in that cage. On the contrary, Impulse abandoned ME.
He could have put more trust in me... an Empire Pro veteran and Tag Team legend... and maybe if he'd respected my abilities a bit more, we could be looking forward to the final round of this tournament, taking on the Second Coming of the Cameron Cruise Project -- or as like to call them, S-Triple-C-P. But that didn't happen, Ken. Rather than follow me over that cage wall when we had the chance to win it, he chose to stay in there, because apparently escape is too "EASY" for him. And where did that choice get him? Drilled into the canvas...
Kenny Lombardo
Be as it may, Impulse has announced that he doesn't regret that choice.
Dopesmoker
Well, good for him. I guess if the entire world was licking MY balls with all the praise he's getting for being a courageous and upstanding hero, I'd probably say I have no regrets either. But instead, I got everybody calling me -- the friendly neighborhood DOPESMOKER -- a low-down, rotten COWARD... when all I tried to do was win the match on my own terms. Mind you, I didn't cheat... I didn't cut corners... I simply climbed out and walked to the back, like ANYBODY would do when they try to win a cage match.
It seems like no matter what I do, I only end up doing it WRONG, Ken. Last year, guys like The First were shitting all over me when I had the guts to say I didn't really care about winning or losing. But what did I do to deserve that, Ken? All I was doing was just going out there to make my presence felt and make the Cosmos SHUDDER with my high-flying awesomeness. What's the harm in that?
And now, when I actually TRY to win a match... once again, I'm WRONG. As my partner seems to believe, the only way I can get the job done is by doing it the "easy" way... but compared to WHAT, Ken? The HARD way? Who GIVES a shit?! There's SIX ANGRY MEN all packed into the cage at once! There's no "easy" or "hard" way of doing things when the situation is that damn out of control; you just find a way of getting it done. That's just what I tried to do... and still, the people out there disrespect me and call me a COWARD. Do you honestly think I deserve to be treated like that, Ken... for simply being myself?
Kenny Lombardo
I dunno... though if you ask me, I feel that as long as he's happy with whatever he's doing in the ring, one should feel entitled to believe that he's doing the right thing. In your case, if all you're interested in is getting high and thinking of various ways to try and break your own neck jumping off the top rope, I'd say knock yourself out... rhetorically speaking, of course. But then again, there will always be athletes in this sport that have a certain level of devotion to excellence and pushing themselves to great distances... as was the case with The First. It also seems to be the case in Impulse.
Dopesmoker
And hey man... that's COOL! I'm knock trying to knock their process, or anything. All I'm saying is, why do they feel the need to knock MINE?
Because I get HIGH?
(Dopesmoker pulls a spliff out of his shirt pocket and lights up, draping an arm over the reporter's shoulder in Jake Roberts fashion while Kenny stiffens up and tries to keep his face away from the second-hand inhalation.)
Dopesmoker
That's the thing I don't understand about guys like Impulse... The First... Karl Brown... Rocko Daymon... they're all supposed to be GOOD GUYS, right? Well why in the hell do they act like such ASSHOLES to anybody in the locker room who doesn't think and act EXACTLY like them? I can understand that they're in it to win it and they won't let anything stop them... that's fine... but why the superiority complexes? Why the snide holier-than-thou remarks? Why the dick-measuring contests? Why HUMILIATE me in front of my own FANS and turn them against me?
Why can't we all just accept to each his own and be COOL with each other? I mean, after all... aren't we all on the same side? Aren't we all working toward the same common goal of giving the fans their money's worth and sending them home happy?
(He shakes his head in frustration and takes another heavy hit off the joint, prompting a fit of coughing that allows Kenny to sneak back a few steps.)
Kenny Lombardo
Okay, I see your point. Maybe many people were wrong to call you a coward when, as you just pointed out, all you were really trying to do was move on in the tournament...
Dopesmoker
Well I'm glad SOMEONE finally gets it...
Kenny Lombardo
I don't know quite what to say about your quest for acceptances as a stoner and wrestler... I myself find it a little hard to understand. But I guess what it all boils down to is that, despite the idealogical differences you may have with the other men in the locker room, all you can do is be yourself and do the best at what you can do. If you ask me, I think the fans turned on that night because they were disappointed when faced with the evidence that you two weren't going to work out as a functioning tag team... but some things were just not meant to be.
Dopesmoker
Right, man... easy come, easy go. When I look at the silver lining in the CLOUD...
(He lets out a big hit, sending an actual cloud of smoke lingering in the air. He chuckles stupidly at this feat for a moment while Kenny makes a face.)
Dopesmoker
Heh... I remind myself, hey... at least I'm out of friggin' cage matches for a little while! Which is good, cause let me tell you... I'm STILL feeling it. Why do you think I'm SMOKING all this DOPE?
(Puff, puff... he tries to pass to Kenny, but the reporter shakes his head.)
Kenny Lombardo
Well... I just figured that's what you do.
Dopesmoker
It's MEDICAL, man! I'm trying to numb myself from the PAIN! A bromangous can only be thrown into steel so many times before he completely falls apart...
Even though I'm finally DONE with King of the Cage tournaments for the time being, I've gotta get my mind and body as one again when I step into the ring for Aggression 58. There's no excuse for me to make... I let down the fans back in Penascola. They came expecting to see the DOPESMOKER come flying off the top rope, and all they saw instead was a mere grass-sniffer shake a leg a couple times and bail for some post-match Taco Bell. That ain't STONER, dude... that's just lame.
Kenny Lombardo
Maybe against an opponent like OTAKU, you can find a chance at redemption. He's also quite the high-flyer... if not a little unusual.
Dopesmoker
I was thinking the same thing, Ken. I mean, I'll be honest... the whole anime thing is weird to me, too. But hey... that doesn't mean I can't RESPECT it. He's got his Japanese culture and cartoons, and I've got my stoner and doom metal. Sure, we're two different men from two completely different worlds. But who we are as individuals isn't important; like I said earlier, to each his own. Rather, all that matters is the common passion we share for high-flying and aerial maneuvers. The kind that get the fans off their asses and on their feet, SCREAMING!
Can't you just imagine it, Kenny? Otaku's hardcore Liger worship against the AWESOMENESS of my cosmic stoner mat magic? I bet we could go the entire match without ever ONCE having our feet touch the ground! It'd be like... watching an episode of Dragonball Z... while you're HIGH!
Kenny Lombardo
Can't say I've had the pleasure of doing that...
You know, it's funny, Dopesmoker... but this sounds the most excited you've been for a match in a long time.
Dopesmoker
Can you really blame me, Ken? For the past year, I've been walking into physically tolling cage matches, fighting opponents who were so caught up in the professional wrestling rat race that they were only interested in arguing over my habits and my motivations than my actual ability to kick ass and be awesome. Well, I'm tired of getting caught up in all the intellectual quagmires... and I'm also tired of having to defend who I am and what I do EACH and EVERY TIME. All I want to do, Kenny, is to get into that ring and mix it up with somebody who can be just as creative, just as daring, and just as entertaining as myself.
Maybe I can get that with Otaku. It's not about who's BETTER, or who's more RIGHTEOUS than the other... but simply two guys with a well of talent between them and fifteen minutes to make the amazing happen in the squared circle. The rest of the locker room may consider us outcasts simply for thinking that way... but we'll see what the FANS think when that bell rings and the two of us force them to believe the unbelievable!
Kenny Lombardo
If what you're saying is true, then I'm sure we'll all look forward to seeing what promises to be an exhilarating match. At any rate, maybe the answer to your struggles over acceptance and respect may come through a more positive outlook and motivation in the ring. Anyway, Dopesmoker... thank you for your time in giving this interview, and good luck at Aggression.
Dopesmoker
Thanks, Kenny... now if you don't mind, I got some dope to smoke...
(Dopesmoker turns around and grabs the doorknob, and as his "room" comes open, he's nearly swept to the floor by an avalanche of brooms and mops. Frantically, he jams them all back into the closet and shuts the door behind him. Smoke starts seeping through the cracks following a muted chorus of coughs from inside. Kenny makes another face and walks off as the camera goes to black.)
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Re: AGGRESSION 58: Otaku vs. DOPESMOKER!!
[FADE IN to the sound of a high pitched, rather disgusting voice saying]
Voice: It’s him! He’s the one! Kill him too! Kill all of the survivors!
[ZOOM OUT of the extreme close-up, just in time to see the mute symbol appear in the bottom right of the screen as a pink-haired girl in a leather jacket slices a possessed corpse into pieces with a sword. ZOOMING FURTHER OUT we see a box for Tokko on top of a large pile of DVD cases, which seems to be sitting on several empty bags of chips]
Otaku: Sorry! Sorry, forgot you guys were coming over. Damn, where’s the… there!
[And the lights turn on, with the TV quickly getting paused]
Otaku: Right, so… I kinda hoped to have this place tidied up before you guys got here, but you know how it goes. One minute you’re about to tidy up, the next you remember that you’re feeling down because your team lost at Aggression and the only way to feel better is to watch some anime. Only another 12 episodes and I’ll’ve watched all of Tokko straight through, which means next’ll be… I’m thinking Azumanga Daioh! or Pani Poni Dash. I mean, after something so violent, I kinda want something fun and whacky to remind me that life’s just one big show, with some great twists right before the end credits.
Pretty deep, huh? Sorry. Whacky Otaku time.
But, yeah, I’m kinda bummed. I thought that me and Bastard-san, we were going to make it. I even promised Logan-dono that we’d go on and become tag team champions so Bastard-san could have two belts. Instead when I should’ve had Bastard-san’s back, I got distracted and we lost. To Cameron Cruise without honorific, and Astros-san. Now I don’t know when I’m going to get another crack at Empire Pro Wrestling gold.
But things did work out great, one way. Bastard-san has a world title match, which he wouldn’t’ve had if we’d won. I’m guessing that’s a good thing for him. I’m sure it is. Bad for me, good for him.
So now… well, I’m still here. I know the loss was a setback, but it’s through setbacks that we grow. The hero always has to lose at least once, otherwise you never get the sense of “Are they going to pull this one out of the bag?” Take… what’s one US audiences’ll know… Yu Gi Oh – first couple of series, Yugi actually lost some duels! Then after that it got waaay too silly because you knew he’d win. But because he lost, I certainly stuck around to see how it’d affect him. How’s my team’s loss going to affect me?
Well, I can’t wallow in self pity and anime. Wallow in anime, yeah. But pity, no. Not with Dopesmoker-san on the horizon.
I mean, the man is hugely talented, and he loves life. He was one of the first tag team champions, and he nearly won the TV title! It’s just the kind of fight that I need right now. Win or lose. He’s already shown he’s happy to let me go about my thing, like I let him go about his backstage. So long as he doesn’t blow so much smoke the screen gets blocked, we’re cool. If he does manage to block out the screen, oh boy, will there be trouble. But since we’re usually in different parts of the locker-room it shouldn’t be a prob.
Oh… wait… that reminds me, Dopesmoker-san, dude, I’m gonna be bringing you a present to Aggression. I mean, DBZ is kinda cool and all, but there’re sooo many great shows over there! Just tell me what kind of stuff you wanna watch, and I know I’ve got some or know someone who’s got it. Maybe Godzilla334 on the boards… no, wait, that’s me…
I’ll find something for you.
Anyway… I’m actually starting to feel better. Looking forward to facing Dopesmoker-san. It’s gonna be fun.
Peace!
[FADE TO BLACK as a narrator narrates]
Voice: Next time, on Otaku.
Otaku: Hey Otakufiles! Next time on Magical Man of Mystery Otaku, me and Dopesmoker-san set the world on fire with a clash of epic proportions! Will Dopesmoker-san leave me in a haze, or can the POWER OF YOUTH~! prevail? Tune in to find out on the next episode of Otaku
From the fire… into the smoke!
[FADE OUT]
[FADE IN to the sound of a high pitched, rather disgusting voice saying]
Voice: It’s him! He’s the one! Kill him too! Kill all of the survivors!
[ZOOM OUT of the extreme close-up, just in time to see the mute symbol appear in the bottom right of the screen as a pink-haired girl in a leather jacket slices a possessed corpse into pieces with a sword. ZOOMING FURTHER OUT we see a box for Tokko on top of a large pile of DVD cases, which seems to be sitting on several empty bags of chips]
Otaku: Sorry! Sorry, forgot you guys were coming over. Damn, where’s the… there!
[And the lights turn on, with the TV quickly getting paused]
Otaku: Right, so… I kinda hoped to have this place tidied up before you guys got here, but you know how it goes. One minute you’re about to tidy up, the next you remember that you’re feeling down because your team lost at Aggression and the only way to feel better is to watch some anime. Only another 12 episodes and I’ll’ve watched all of Tokko straight through, which means next’ll be… I’m thinking Azumanga Daioh! or Pani Poni Dash. I mean, after something so violent, I kinda want something fun and whacky to remind me that life’s just one big show, with some great twists right before the end credits.
Pretty deep, huh? Sorry. Whacky Otaku time.
But, yeah, I’m kinda bummed. I thought that me and Bastard-san, we were going to make it. I even promised Logan-dono that we’d go on and become tag team champions so Bastard-san could have two belts. Instead when I should’ve had Bastard-san’s back, I got distracted and we lost. To Cameron Cruise without honorific, and Astros-san. Now I don’t know when I’m going to get another crack at Empire Pro Wrestling gold.
But things did work out great, one way. Bastard-san has a world title match, which he wouldn’t’ve had if we’d won. I’m guessing that’s a good thing for him. I’m sure it is. Bad for me, good for him.
So now… well, I’m still here. I know the loss was a setback, but it’s through setbacks that we grow. The hero always has to lose at least once, otherwise you never get the sense of “Are they going to pull this one out of the bag?” Take… what’s one US audiences’ll know… Yu Gi Oh – first couple of series, Yugi actually lost some duels! Then after that it got waaay too silly because you knew he’d win. But because he lost, I certainly stuck around to see how it’d affect him. How’s my team’s loss going to affect me?
Well, I can’t wallow in self pity and anime. Wallow in anime, yeah. But pity, no. Not with Dopesmoker-san on the horizon.
I mean, the man is hugely talented, and he loves life. He was one of the first tag team champions, and he nearly won the TV title! It’s just the kind of fight that I need right now. Win or lose. He’s already shown he’s happy to let me go about my thing, like I let him go about his backstage. So long as he doesn’t blow so much smoke the screen gets blocked, we’re cool. If he does manage to block out the screen, oh boy, will there be trouble. But since we’re usually in different parts of the locker-room it shouldn’t be a prob.
Oh… wait… that reminds me, Dopesmoker-san, dude, I’m gonna be bringing you a present to Aggression. I mean, DBZ is kinda cool and all, but there’re sooo many great shows over there! Just tell me what kind of stuff you wanna watch, and I know I’ve got some or know someone who’s got it. Maybe Godzilla334 on the boards… no, wait, that’s me…
I’ll find something for you.
Anyway… I’m actually starting to feel better. Looking forward to facing Dopesmoker-san. It’s gonna be fun.
Peace!
[FADE TO BLACK as a narrator narrates]
Voice: Next time, on Otaku.
Otaku: Hey Otakufiles! Next time on Magical Man of Mystery Otaku, me and Dopesmoker-san set the world on fire with a clash of epic proportions! Will Dopesmoker-san leave me in a haze, or can the POWER OF YOUTH~! prevail? Tune in to find out on the next episode of Otaku
From the fire… into the smoke!
[FADE OUT]