AGGRESSION 59: ONE NIGHT TAG TOURNEY: CC vs. Brown/Otaku
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EpyonMarx
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(((FADE IN to a beautiful Japanese-inspired garden. The cherry blossoms are blooming, and we can hear the steady rhythmic “donk” sound of a Japanese water hammer. As we pass through, we see a small out-building, again in the Japanese style, with a small amount of light coming through one of the windows. Underneath the window, seemingly oblivious to the sounds of anime coming from within, sits the former Intercontinental and TV Champion, Karl “The Dragon” Brown. His partner, one can assume, is sitting watching something on TV)))
Karl: This is a nice place. Quiet, when Otaku isn’t watching something. He keeps the volume a little too high. This place though, it reminds me of the summers I spent travelling. Mostly the time I spent training in Japan back when I was an undergraduate. I’d spend an hour at least walking round one of the decorative gardens in Kyoto, or Tokyo, or wherever I was that week. Nostalgia’s funny like that.
Otaku: YEAH! Camera explosions are cool!
Karl: I doubt he even knows you’re here. He did tell me what he’s watching, but I wasn’t really paying much attention. He’s got his thing, I’ve got mine. But don’t let his demeanour fool you. You’ve seen what he’s capable of in the ring, and at Aggression that’s what really matters. Not what costume he wears, or what his hobbies are, but what he does in the ring.
It’s been a strange time in Empire Pro. We’ve just had a Lethal Lottery, King of the Cage tournament, and we’re having a one night only tag team tournament featuring three regular teams, and another hodge-podge, cobbled together unit. One of us has some tag team success – even if it’s just winning the first round match of a tournament. I’ve not had the most luck when it comes to my irregular forays into the tag division, so, on paper at least, the odds are stacked against us.
Otaku: I wonder if they really did get him to record with a piece of cloth over his nose for the dub…
Karl: To make sure the odds appear even more stacked, Otaku and I have the challenge of facing one of the largest teams in Empire Pro Wrestling history. Maybe the largest, I don’t know. Olvir and Ivan, the Colossal Connection. I guess Ivan doesn’t want to part from the “CC”-embossed handkerchief’s I saw him use backstage once.
Joking aside, though, this is definitely a challenge. I haven’t faced many people the size of either of these two in my career. Normally, I’m able to lift an opponent pretty easily. Ivan? He probably weighs as much as Otaku and I put together. Hitting the Dragon’s Bite isn’t going to be easy, if it’s possible.
But all that means is that we have to change out game plan. If anything, we’ll need to use more impact. More striking, and then start to grind things out. We’re not going to be able to hold anything back if we want to get through the first round.
Otaku: Hey! Brown-san, when did I say the camera crew were getting here?
Karl: Ten minutes ago. They’re here already!
Otaku: What?! Crap crap crap crap crap! Two secs!
Karl: I did tell him you were here. Give him a second.
(((“The Dragon” pauses as a few seconds pass. Finally, Otaku dives through the open window, landing with a roll, and jumps back towards the building and turns to face the camera)))
Otaku: Hey! Sorry about that, was just rewatching Speed Grapher. It’s a pretty good show with these things called Euphorics that have special weird powers, like being able to blow things up with a camera or tattoos that come to life and kill people! It’s fun!
And actually has a teeny bit of relevance to Aggression! See, Colossal Connection, they seem to be almost like Euphorics. They’re waaaaay too big to be people, right?
Karl: Actually, beside their own peculiarities, they’re just people.
Otaku: AWW! Man, I was hoping for something else. No matter though! They’re huge, but we can beat them! Brown-san and me, we can do it with the power of youth! Something Olvir-san definitely doesn’t have if his bio’s anything to go by. The man is old.
Karl: I’m not saying anything.
Otaku: You’re only 28!
Karl: That’s not what I meant.
Otaku: Yeah, well, we’re quicker than them, right? Unless Olvir’s managed to find Mjölnir. Which, by the way, does not look like it does in the film!!
Karl: You watch non-Japanese stuff?
Otaku: Mom made me. I do have some of the old comics though, they’re pretty cool. The Thor movie? Nothing to do with the original comics. But back to ANIME! And wrestling!
Ivan-san, I met your former partner in the ring at Aggression, and well, it didn’t go so well for me. He’s really good! I can see why you teamed with him, your strength and his speed, that must’ve been damn near unstoppable! But now he’s shooting up the singles ranks and you’re hoping to dominate the tag team division with another partner. Brown-san and me could be in for a Colossal Cataclysm, but I’ve seen you and Olvir-san in action. You have to catch us first, and that’s where we’ve got the advantage!
Karl: We do have to get in close to them. I doubt they’re going to do what you were talking about earlier.
Otaku: You mean they’re not going to chase us round and round the ring until they get tired and dizzy?
Karl: I doubt it.
Otaku: Maaan! OK, plan Q! We make sure we don’t get hit!
Karl: I rarely intend on getting hit, Otaku, but this week, I think we may have to do just that. We can’t afford to be rash, but we can’t afford to waste time. And I know you’ve got some tricks if you’re caught.
Otaku: Well, duh, Brown-san! But I don’t wanna share them with the world before the match! I know that it’s a big if, but if we manage to make it through the Colossal Connection, we could be adding tag team gold to your resume very soon!
Karl: That’s the thing about this situation – even winning the tournament won’t guarantee a tag title match per se. There are so many variables in play that it’s best not to think of them. It’s like tomorrow’s Premiership fixture list; five clubs are fighting for their survival, three will be Premier League clubs next season, two will be Championship clubs.
Otaku: Soccer… oh! Isn’t your team playing?
Karl: Wolves? Yes, we’re playing Blackburn Rovers, but that’s not the point I was making.
Otaku: I just thought I’d throw it out there. GO WOLVES!
Karl: My point… is that we’ve got our fate in our hands. Like the clubs in tomorrow’s matches, it’s do or die. We have to leave everything in the ring if we want to progress.
Otaku: If you’d said Read or Die it would’ve been sooo cool.
But Brown-san’s right. Olvir-san and Ivan-san, Team V.I.A.G.R.A, The Masked Violators, and the Anime Dragons
Karl: I didn’t agree to that.
Otaku: (((ignoring the interruption))) have a chance, a second chance in three of our cases, to try and get a shot at Tag Team Glory! Two matches in one night is going to be tough. It’s going to be difficult. But if we don’t go all out in the first one we don’t even get a second one! And after letting Bastard-san and Logan-domo down, and after losing to Black-san, I don’t want to be on the losing side again. I want to be able to go to Wrestleverse and get something that’ll make my Liger costume complete! Empire Pro Wrestling gold!
Karl: For me, it’s not about the titles. It’s about me showing that I’m still able to meet the challenges and expectations I make for myself. I’ve fallen short of my own expectations for a year now. And, yes, it’s starting to irritate me. Two matches in one night is a new experience.
Otaku: And teaming with me?
Karl: You’re not as strange as Beau Michaels.
Otaku: I’ll have to try harder!
Karl: Tony Davis and High Flyer… well, I haven’t had a chance to see you two in action as a team in person yet. But I did catch your comments on Aggression, that you’re going to be tag team champions by the end of the year. That’s a seven month window for you to accomplish your goal, and you’ve chosen the hard way to do it. I admire you for that. It’s a challenge. But you two… facing the Masked Violators in the first round
Otaku: Believe me, that’s no joke! I didn’t know they were coming out, I thought it was the Motor City Maniacs, but man did they give Bastard-san and me a hard time! They’re gonna be tough to beat!
Karl: If you and we make it into the finals, we’re going to be sore. You two and I, we all have past injuries that I’m sure will be looked upon as targets. I could be cliché and say this tournament comes down to who wants it more, but that’d be naïve of me.
The punishment all eight people could go through to try and win this tournament could well push any of us beyond breaking point. The mind can do some amazing things, but if the body gives out – that’s where your past injuries could play into our hands, Flyer, Davis.
Otaku: Don’t forget, Flyer-san’s said he’ll do anything to get his hands on Stalker.
Karl: I’m counting on it. It’s that kind of drive, that determination that can do two things. It can spur you on to greater things, or it can blind you. Flyer, you’d better hope it’s the first one. If you get blinded by your quest for vengeance against Stalker, then you’ll have to hope you get a one-on-one match against him. Because if the Masked Violators don’t beat you, Otaku and I will. It’s not personal, it’s just experience. I’ve seen a lot of veterans like you get blinded by vengeance or arrogance, sometimes by both, and I made a habit of beating them.
I’ll be happy to do that this time as well.
Otaku: In closing, let’s all do our best! One Night Tournament, FIGHT!
(((“The Dragon” rolls his eyes as we FADE…and FADE IN to anime action!)))
Voice Over: Next time, on Otaku!
Karl: I am not reading this.
Otaku: Oh, come on!
Karl: No.
Otaku: Spoilsport! Hey, Otakuites! Otaku here! Next time on Magical Dragons, the Englishman and I run into a bunch of thieves in a dark alley! They’re not match for us, but what’s that in the shadows? Is it a mouse, or something more sinister? It’s growing! What will we do?!
Next time, on Magical Dragons Otaku, episode 15, “Nightmarish Mad Dog – Don’t Get Bitten!”
Karl: I’m not reading that line, either.
Otaku: Man, you’re no fun! If you weren’t so good in the ring…
(((FADE OUT)))
Karl: This is a nice place. Quiet, when Otaku isn’t watching something. He keeps the volume a little too high. This place though, it reminds me of the summers I spent travelling. Mostly the time I spent training in Japan back when I was an undergraduate. I’d spend an hour at least walking round one of the decorative gardens in Kyoto, or Tokyo, or wherever I was that week. Nostalgia’s funny like that.
Otaku: YEAH! Camera explosions are cool!
Karl: I doubt he even knows you’re here. He did tell me what he’s watching, but I wasn’t really paying much attention. He’s got his thing, I’ve got mine. But don’t let his demeanour fool you. You’ve seen what he’s capable of in the ring, and at Aggression that’s what really matters. Not what costume he wears, or what his hobbies are, but what he does in the ring.
It’s been a strange time in Empire Pro. We’ve just had a Lethal Lottery, King of the Cage tournament, and we’re having a one night only tag team tournament featuring three regular teams, and another hodge-podge, cobbled together unit. One of us has some tag team success – even if it’s just winning the first round match of a tournament. I’ve not had the most luck when it comes to my irregular forays into the tag division, so, on paper at least, the odds are stacked against us.
Otaku: I wonder if they really did get him to record with a piece of cloth over his nose for the dub…
Karl: To make sure the odds appear even more stacked, Otaku and I have the challenge of facing one of the largest teams in Empire Pro Wrestling history. Maybe the largest, I don’t know. Olvir and Ivan, the Colossal Connection. I guess Ivan doesn’t want to part from the “CC”-embossed handkerchief’s I saw him use backstage once.
Joking aside, though, this is definitely a challenge. I haven’t faced many people the size of either of these two in my career. Normally, I’m able to lift an opponent pretty easily. Ivan? He probably weighs as much as Otaku and I put together. Hitting the Dragon’s Bite isn’t going to be easy, if it’s possible.
But all that means is that we have to change out game plan. If anything, we’ll need to use more impact. More striking, and then start to grind things out. We’re not going to be able to hold anything back if we want to get through the first round.
Otaku: Hey! Brown-san, when did I say the camera crew were getting here?
Karl: Ten minutes ago. They’re here already!
Otaku: What?! Crap crap crap crap crap! Two secs!
Karl: I did tell him you were here. Give him a second.
(((“The Dragon” pauses as a few seconds pass. Finally, Otaku dives through the open window, landing with a roll, and jumps back towards the building and turns to face the camera)))
Otaku: Hey! Sorry about that, was just rewatching Speed Grapher. It’s a pretty good show with these things called Euphorics that have special weird powers, like being able to blow things up with a camera or tattoos that come to life and kill people! It’s fun!
And actually has a teeny bit of relevance to Aggression! See, Colossal Connection, they seem to be almost like Euphorics. They’re waaaaay too big to be people, right?
Karl: Actually, beside their own peculiarities, they’re just people.
Otaku: AWW! Man, I was hoping for something else. No matter though! They’re huge, but we can beat them! Brown-san and me, we can do it with the power of youth! Something Olvir-san definitely doesn’t have if his bio’s anything to go by. The man is old.
Karl: I’m not saying anything.
Otaku: You’re only 28!
Karl: That’s not what I meant.
Otaku: Yeah, well, we’re quicker than them, right? Unless Olvir’s managed to find Mjölnir. Which, by the way, does not look like it does in the film!!
Karl: You watch non-Japanese stuff?
Otaku: Mom made me. I do have some of the old comics though, they’re pretty cool. The Thor movie? Nothing to do with the original comics. But back to ANIME! And wrestling!
Ivan-san, I met your former partner in the ring at Aggression, and well, it didn’t go so well for me. He’s really good! I can see why you teamed with him, your strength and his speed, that must’ve been damn near unstoppable! But now he’s shooting up the singles ranks and you’re hoping to dominate the tag team division with another partner. Brown-san and me could be in for a Colossal Cataclysm, but I’ve seen you and Olvir-san in action. You have to catch us first, and that’s where we’ve got the advantage!
Karl: We do have to get in close to them. I doubt they’re going to do what you were talking about earlier.
Otaku: You mean they’re not going to chase us round and round the ring until they get tired and dizzy?
Karl: I doubt it.
Otaku: Maaan! OK, plan Q! We make sure we don’t get hit!
Karl: I rarely intend on getting hit, Otaku, but this week, I think we may have to do just that. We can’t afford to be rash, but we can’t afford to waste time. And I know you’ve got some tricks if you’re caught.
Otaku: Well, duh, Brown-san! But I don’t wanna share them with the world before the match! I know that it’s a big if, but if we manage to make it through the Colossal Connection, we could be adding tag team gold to your resume very soon!
Karl: That’s the thing about this situation – even winning the tournament won’t guarantee a tag title match per se. There are so many variables in play that it’s best not to think of them. It’s like tomorrow’s Premiership fixture list; five clubs are fighting for their survival, three will be Premier League clubs next season, two will be Championship clubs.
Otaku: Soccer… oh! Isn’t your team playing?
Karl: Wolves? Yes, we’re playing Blackburn Rovers, but that’s not the point I was making.
Otaku: I just thought I’d throw it out there. GO WOLVES!
Karl: My point… is that we’ve got our fate in our hands. Like the clubs in tomorrow’s matches, it’s do or die. We have to leave everything in the ring if we want to progress.
Otaku: If you’d said Read or Die it would’ve been sooo cool.
But Brown-san’s right. Olvir-san and Ivan-san, Team V.I.A.G.R.A, The Masked Violators, and the Anime Dragons
Karl: I didn’t agree to that.
Otaku: (((ignoring the interruption))) have a chance, a second chance in three of our cases, to try and get a shot at Tag Team Glory! Two matches in one night is going to be tough. It’s going to be difficult. But if we don’t go all out in the first one we don’t even get a second one! And after letting Bastard-san and Logan-domo down, and after losing to Black-san, I don’t want to be on the losing side again. I want to be able to go to Wrestleverse and get something that’ll make my Liger costume complete! Empire Pro Wrestling gold!
Karl: For me, it’s not about the titles. It’s about me showing that I’m still able to meet the challenges and expectations I make for myself. I’ve fallen short of my own expectations for a year now. And, yes, it’s starting to irritate me. Two matches in one night is a new experience.
Otaku: And teaming with me?
Karl: You’re not as strange as Beau Michaels.
Otaku: I’ll have to try harder!
Karl: Tony Davis and High Flyer… well, I haven’t had a chance to see you two in action as a team in person yet. But I did catch your comments on Aggression, that you’re going to be tag team champions by the end of the year. That’s a seven month window for you to accomplish your goal, and you’ve chosen the hard way to do it. I admire you for that. It’s a challenge. But you two… facing the Masked Violators in the first round
Otaku: Believe me, that’s no joke! I didn’t know they were coming out, I thought it was the Motor City Maniacs, but man did they give Bastard-san and me a hard time! They’re gonna be tough to beat!
Karl: If you and we make it into the finals, we’re going to be sore. You two and I, we all have past injuries that I’m sure will be looked upon as targets. I could be cliché and say this tournament comes down to who wants it more, but that’d be naïve of me.
The punishment all eight people could go through to try and win this tournament could well push any of us beyond breaking point. The mind can do some amazing things, but if the body gives out – that’s where your past injuries could play into our hands, Flyer, Davis.
Otaku: Don’t forget, Flyer-san’s said he’ll do anything to get his hands on Stalker.
Karl: I’m counting on it. It’s that kind of drive, that determination that can do two things. It can spur you on to greater things, or it can blind you. Flyer, you’d better hope it’s the first one. If you get blinded by your quest for vengeance against Stalker, then you’ll have to hope you get a one-on-one match against him. Because if the Masked Violators don’t beat you, Otaku and I will. It’s not personal, it’s just experience. I’ve seen a lot of veterans like you get blinded by vengeance or arrogance, sometimes by both, and I made a habit of beating them.
I’ll be happy to do that this time as well.
Otaku: In closing, let’s all do our best! One Night Tournament, FIGHT!
(((“The Dragon” rolls his eyes as we FADE…and FADE IN to anime action!)))
Voice Over: Next time, on Otaku!
Karl: I am not reading this.
Otaku: Oh, come on!
Karl: No.
Otaku: Spoilsport! Hey, Otakuites! Otaku here! Next time on Magical Dragons, the Englishman and I run into a bunch of thieves in a dark alley! They’re not match for us, but what’s that in the shadows? Is it a mouse, or something more sinister? It’s growing! What will we do?!
Next time, on Magical Dragons Otaku, episode 15, “Nightmarish Mad Dog – Don’t Get Bitten!”
Karl: I’m not reading that line, either.
Otaku: Man, you’re no fun! If you weren’t so good in the ring…
(((FADE OUT)))