AGGRESSION 65: INTERCONTINENTAL TITLE MATCH: Impulse (c) vs. Jared Wells
- Thread starter DBrunkGXW
- Start date
BarryClarkJr
DADDY
A piece of your ass.
My return is the story of a raging Christ figure who tore himself off the cross and looked at the EPW with blood in his eyes and said "MY TURN NOW MOTHER-F(BLEEP)KERS."
(Camera opens up inside to the dim lighted, abandoned Dangles Bar & Grill which Jared Wells used to own. The bar is clearly empty, as the camera sits across the double sided bar with Jared Wells sitting as if he was a customer only revealing his black cut off DADDY tee shirt along with shot glasses spaced out filled with Captain Morgan Rum. Sitting next to him is a man of Iranian descent, early 60's wearing a black DADDY tee shirt with multiple items across the bar)
JARED WELLS: IMPLU..........
IRANIAN OLD MAN: EHHHHH-EHHHH MISTA JAHRAD VELLS. EMPULSE IS A FAKKIN' NOO GEWD PIECE OV SHEEIT. EMPULSE TOO I VANNA LET CHEW KNOOOO, YOU ARE A PIECE OF GARVAGE. YOU LAWCKY PUNK, I FACK YO ASS.
JARED WELLS: Call it nostalgic, call it old school.
(Grabs a shot, takes it)
You see, people forgot about DADDY. People forgot about Jared Wells. Aggression 64, The Dangle Brothers REUNITED and look what happened. Cruise gets his EPW World Title shot, and I get a shot at the Intercontinental title. I sat on my ass for two years and I get this? No I'm not going to waste my time and wage war on the EPW. What everybody is doing right this second is what Anthology already did. And when I say ANTHOLOGY I mean JARED WELLS & CRUISE.
(Grabs a shot, takes it)
Sean Stevens comes back and it's a YAAAAAAAAAAYYYYY! OH YAAAAAAYYYYYYY! He had a sixty minute game of playing pick up sticks with his butt-checks. DRAW!? You get one shot, you take it, you win it. YOU SIMPLY F(BLEEP)KED UP. Aggression 65, there will be two new champions crowned.
YOU SEE IMPLU.......
IRANIAN OLD MAN: EMPULSE!!!! YOU SAHYYY, YOU DA BEST! BUTT, YOU KNOOOOO, I CAN BEEEEEEEEET DAT FACK OUTTA YOU!
(Shots for both)
JARED WELLS: YOU SEE................I'm gonna bust your ass myself Impulse. Simple couple questions for you. One, DO YOU KNOW WHO THE F(BLEEP)K I am? Two, does P(BLEEP)Y taste like pumpkin pie? Seriously, I've never had pumpkin pie.
(SHOTS)
I don't need Cruise to protect me, and I don't need to help Cruise win the EPW World Title. Remember, YOU.....YOU need to practice this when you get older. SNUFF A MOTHER-F(BLEEP)KER. YOU SNUFF 'EM! You call DADDY OUT?! I'm coming to take what you have, the EPW Intercontinental title along with a little piece of interest, LIKE A PIECE OF YOUR ASS. Put that in your F(BLEEP)KING BAZOOKA.
(...FADEOUT)
My return is the story of a raging Christ figure who tore himself off the cross and looked at the EPW with blood in his eyes and said "MY TURN NOW MOTHER-F(BLEEP)KERS."
(Camera opens up inside to the dim lighted, abandoned Dangles Bar & Grill which Jared Wells used to own. The bar is clearly empty, as the camera sits across the double sided bar with Jared Wells sitting as if he was a customer only revealing his black cut off DADDY tee shirt along with shot glasses spaced out filled with Captain Morgan Rum. Sitting next to him is a man of Iranian descent, early 60's wearing a black DADDY tee shirt with multiple items across the bar)
JARED WELLS: IMPLU..........
IRANIAN OLD MAN: EHHHHH-EHHHH MISTA JAHRAD VELLS. EMPULSE IS A FAKKIN' NOO GEWD PIECE OV SHEEIT. EMPULSE TOO I VANNA LET CHEW KNOOOO, YOU ARE A PIECE OF GARVAGE. YOU LAWCKY PUNK, I FACK YO ASS.
JARED WELLS: Call it nostalgic, call it old school.
(Grabs a shot, takes it)
You see, people forgot about DADDY. People forgot about Jared Wells. Aggression 64, The Dangle Brothers REUNITED and look what happened. Cruise gets his EPW World Title shot, and I get a shot at the Intercontinental title. I sat on my ass for two years and I get this? No I'm not going to waste my time and wage war on the EPW. What everybody is doing right this second is what Anthology already did. And when I say ANTHOLOGY I mean JARED WELLS & CRUISE.
(Grabs a shot, takes it)
Sean Stevens comes back and it's a YAAAAAAAAAAYYYYY! OH YAAAAAAYYYYYYY! He had a sixty minute game of playing pick up sticks with his butt-checks. DRAW!? You get one shot, you take it, you win it. YOU SIMPLY F(BLEEP)KED UP. Aggression 65, there will be two new champions crowned.
YOU SEE IMPLU.......
IRANIAN OLD MAN: EMPULSE!!!! YOU SAHYYY, YOU DA BEST! BUTT, YOU KNOOOOO, I CAN BEEEEEEEEET DAT FACK OUTTA YOU!
(Shots for both)
JARED WELLS: YOU SEE................I'm gonna bust your ass myself Impulse. Simple couple questions for you. One, DO YOU KNOW WHO THE F(BLEEP)K I am? Two, does P(BLEEP)Y taste like pumpkin pie? Seriously, I've never had pumpkin pie.
(SHOTS)
I don't need Cruise to protect me, and I don't need to help Cruise win the EPW World Title. Remember, YOU.....YOU need to practice this when you get older. SNUFF A MOTHER-F(BLEEP)KER. YOU SNUFF 'EM! You call DADDY OUT?! I'm coming to take what you have, the EPW Intercontinental title along with a little piece of interest, LIKE A PIECE OF YOUR ASS. Put that in your F(BLEEP)KING BAZOOKA.
(...FADEOUT)
User Poets
The Shadow Pope
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Dangle.
Jess, I said.
Hey. Jess.
She was talking to a cute girl with red hair in a pixie cut.
Yo, I said. Spider Woman!
Immediately, her attention snapped back.
"What's up, Knox?" she asked.
I wasn't making fun - my friend Jessica Drew wanted to do a documentary on me, twenty four hours in the life of the Marathon Man, for her final project in film school. I said sure, Jess was flaky and forgetful, but she was also smart and creative and I was glad to help her out.
But because she was forgetful and easily distracted, it was hard to get her attention. Somehow, she never heard me when I called her name, but always did when I said 'Hey, Spider Woman!' Go figure.
So, we're at a Best Buy just outside Detroit, because I was listening to Wrestling Guerillas radio a few weeks back and they talked a bit about how Impulse was a great wrestler, could bring any building to its feet, but could never be a World Champion because he keeps to himself, he doesn't really get out and see the fans, and he doesn't let anyone get to know him through any kind of traditional interviews. He's respected and admired, but not loved.
Maybe I'll never be loved, and I'm okay with being respected and admired, but I'd be lying if I said I didn't wonder.
Professional Wrestling has been good to me so far, and maybe the lip service about owing the fans nothing but the best match I can give them doesn't quite cut it anymore.
So I'm here at Best Buy, signing copies of the Russian Roulette DVD that's officially being released tomorrow, and Spider Woman is filming things. It's a great opportunity for me to pick the fans' brains and see what they really want. Also, according to Rose it's a good idea, and she doesn't really have bad ones.
On that note...
(FADEIN...
There's a really long line that's being captured by the hand - held camera, all the way out the door. I'm sitting at a table near the DVD section with a fine array of black sharpies and the Empire Pro Intercontinental Championship Belt in front of me.
Wow, there really are a lot of people on line to buy the Russian Roulette DVD. I thought everyone just pirated that stuff these days. Or maybe they're here to see me? Oh, c'mon, let's be serious.
Because of the line, the EPW representative and the Best Buy store manager have given me some ground rules over how long I can spend on any one person. No personalized autographs, no pictures, and no extended conversation. But let's be serious, I'm not actually going to listen to these people tell me what to do.
Professional wrestling is always touting itself as giving the fans what they want; well, I'm sitting at a table in front of a long line of fans, so I'm going to ask them point blank what they want. It's called progress.
And... Roll 'em, Spider Woman!)
My first people in line were a nine or so year old boy and his dad.
"Go on, son," said the dad. The boy was a little shy.
Hi there, I said. What's your name?
"Michael," said the boy, quietly.
It's nice to meet you, Michael, I said, as I reached out to take his DVD. Do you enjoy the Empire, I asked.
"Yes," he replied, still looking down.
Who's your favorite wrestler, I asked him.
"Otaku," replied Michael.
I smiled. I bet he'd be real glad to hear that, Michael. He and Karl Brown have a real tough match ahead of them at Aggression, so they're gonna need you to cheer extra hard, can you do that for them?
Finally, the kid smiled. "I will," he promised.
Great, I said, as I signed his DVD. 'To Michael, Otaku's number one fan. Let the Dragons hear your voice, Impulse.'
"Thank you very much, sir," said Michael's father, as he shook my hand.
You're welcome, I replied.
(STATIC. No, I'm not going to show you the entire line, Spider Woman edited the more interesting conversations together for your benefit.)
Hey man, I said. What's your name?
"Chris," said the short, skinny guy.
Thanks, I replied, as I signed his DVD. Who do you like for Aggression?
"Dangle Bros, all the way."
Interesting, I said. How come?
"They're exciting, I dunno."
Okay, I said, leading him.
"What?"
I seriously would like to know, I continued.
"I dunno man," stuttered Chris, "Like... You and the First are okay I guess, but Cruise and Wells are funny and dirty and... They're just cooler."
He looked like he thought I wanted to hit him. Instead I put out my hand for him to shake.
Thanks, I appreciate the honesty, I said.
(STATIC)
"Hey, Impulse, this is my girlfriend Claire," said a guy named Rick, gesturing to the girl next to - slash - behind him, "She's a little shy, but she said she wanted to meet you."
Hi Claire, I said. How are you?
"I'm okay," she replied.
"Didn't you want to ask him something?" asked Rick.
Claire shook her head.
C'mon, I said. What's up?
"Can I... get a picture with you?" she asked.
The Empire representative started to say no since there was a long line, but like I said, I don't really care. Claire came to the other side of the table and put her arms around me, and I put the Intercontinental belt on her shoulder and showed my metal horns with my right hand for effect.
Speak up for yourself, kiddo, I said, as I gave her a hug.
"Thanks, man," said Rick, "We really appreciate this."
Any time, I answered.
(STATIC)
"You should've done what Dis said and taken the strap from Anarky," said Malcolm, "then we would've been spared some mediocre Champion time."
Maybe, I replied, but you just can't do that. Unless you're a household name like Randalls, or Troy, or Stevens - you need to earn your spot everywhere you go. If Nark came to the New Frontier and immediately demanded a match with Joe or Castor or whoever might be holding the belt after Futureshock he'd be laughed at, punked, and forcibly removed and he would've deserved it, and the reverse is also true.
Malcolm looked away and smirked. "Aight kid, maybe. But it don't mean it wouldn't'a been cool."
(STATIC)
You're missing the forest for the trees, I explained, trying my best to make the hackneyed cliche sound less hackneyed. First didn't get lucky because time ran out, and Trip wasn't 'screwed' because of it, either. You go sixty minutes and walk away, you just did something about ninety percent of wrestlers currently active can't do. That's not something to be happy or sad about - that's business.
"Not at all," said Paul, "Trip would'a had it with five more minutes."
I shook my head. We can't actually know that, I said.
(STATIC)
"Really appreciate this," said George, as he shook my hand, "you've been my favorite wrestler for a long time."
Thanks, I replied, handing him his signed DVD. That means a lot.
"I mean it too," he continued, "You're the best pure wrestler to hit the biz since Mike Randalls, and it's like you took his brawling insanity and traded it for even more mat wrestling skills. Please shut the Dangle Brothers up at Aggression."
I laughed. I'll do my best, I said.
(STATIC)
"DADDY'S GONNA KICK YOUR ASS!" shouted the guy whose name I never got. He apparently waited on line for an hour or more just to tell me that, didn't buy a DVD, and ran out of the store.
I really couldn't do anything. The people behind him on line watched him go, almost hypnotized.
"If I were you," said a woman two people back, "I'd be more concerned that that guy is calling a large man that he isn't related to 'Daddy.'"
Which, of course, broke everyone up.
(STATIC)
"So how do you feel?" asked Spider Woman, aiming the camera at my head.
Tired, I admitted. But it was overall a lot of fun. I might have to venture out among the fans more often.
We were on our way back to the hotel. I sprang for the big room because I was traveling with friends. Tomorrow, Jess would be headed back to Brooklyn while I stayed in town to do press for Aggression.
I know, right?
Besides that, I am now officially banned from the Dearborn Best Buy because my conversations held the store - and the manager - until almost three in the morning. I regret nothing.
It was really eye opening.
So, from what I was able to gather from this small cross section of wrestling fan, most of the Empire fans think I routinely wrestle in the best match on any given show. They think I'm innovative and creative and a lot of fun to watch, which was the best thing I could've hoped for. And a surprising number of them think I should be a World Champion already.
The wrestling fan who thinks Jared Wells is going to leave with my title is essentially the frat - boy type who looks for the next thing to yell out when he's at the bar.
As far as I stand with the typical fan, they seem to like me. And while it doesn't make me a 'bad guy' to disagree with and openly dress down the other fan favorite types, it evidently doesn't do much for their getting behind me. I suppose it's one of those things, just because I can say something doesn't mean that I should.
One fan, ironically enough named Randy, told me it didn't make me any less of what I hope to be by getting into the muck and mixing it up in a character debate, but that I had nothing to gain and everything to lose when it didn't concern me.
He was right, of course.
So we'll see where things go from here, and I hope to find answers to the Empire's two burning questions over the course of the next few weeks.
One, why does Jared Wells insist that we call him 'Daddy'?
And two... what, exactly, are he and Cameron Cruise... dangling with each other?
Shudder.
(FADE)
Jess, I said.
Hey. Jess.
She was talking to a cute girl with red hair in a pixie cut.
Yo, I said. Spider Woman!
Immediately, her attention snapped back.
"What's up, Knox?" she asked.
I wasn't making fun - my friend Jessica Drew wanted to do a documentary on me, twenty four hours in the life of the Marathon Man, for her final project in film school. I said sure, Jess was flaky and forgetful, but she was also smart and creative and I was glad to help her out.
But because she was forgetful and easily distracted, it was hard to get her attention. Somehow, she never heard me when I called her name, but always did when I said 'Hey, Spider Woman!' Go figure.
So, we're at a Best Buy just outside Detroit, because I was listening to Wrestling Guerillas radio a few weeks back and they talked a bit about how Impulse was a great wrestler, could bring any building to its feet, but could never be a World Champion because he keeps to himself, he doesn't really get out and see the fans, and he doesn't let anyone get to know him through any kind of traditional interviews. He's respected and admired, but not loved.
Maybe I'll never be loved, and I'm okay with being respected and admired, but I'd be lying if I said I didn't wonder.
Professional Wrestling has been good to me so far, and maybe the lip service about owing the fans nothing but the best match I can give them doesn't quite cut it anymore.
So I'm here at Best Buy, signing copies of the Russian Roulette DVD that's officially being released tomorrow, and Spider Woman is filming things. It's a great opportunity for me to pick the fans' brains and see what they really want. Also, according to Rose it's a good idea, and she doesn't really have bad ones.
On that note...
(FADEIN...
There's a really long line that's being captured by the hand - held camera, all the way out the door. I'm sitting at a table near the DVD section with a fine array of black sharpies and the Empire Pro Intercontinental Championship Belt in front of me.
Wow, there really are a lot of people on line to buy the Russian Roulette DVD. I thought everyone just pirated that stuff these days. Or maybe they're here to see me? Oh, c'mon, let's be serious.
Because of the line, the EPW representative and the Best Buy store manager have given me some ground rules over how long I can spend on any one person. No personalized autographs, no pictures, and no extended conversation. But let's be serious, I'm not actually going to listen to these people tell me what to do.
Professional wrestling is always touting itself as giving the fans what they want; well, I'm sitting at a table in front of a long line of fans, so I'm going to ask them point blank what they want. It's called progress.
And... Roll 'em, Spider Woman!)
My first people in line were a nine or so year old boy and his dad.
"Go on, son," said the dad. The boy was a little shy.
Hi there, I said. What's your name?
"Michael," said the boy, quietly.
It's nice to meet you, Michael, I said, as I reached out to take his DVD. Do you enjoy the Empire, I asked.
"Yes," he replied, still looking down.
Who's your favorite wrestler, I asked him.
"Otaku," replied Michael.
I smiled. I bet he'd be real glad to hear that, Michael. He and Karl Brown have a real tough match ahead of them at Aggression, so they're gonna need you to cheer extra hard, can you do that for them?
Finally, the kid smiled. "I will," he promised.
Great, I said, as I signed his DVD. 'To Michael, Otaku's number one fan. Let the Dragons hear your voice, Impulse.'
"Thank you very much, sir," said Michael's father, as he shook my hand.
You're welcome, I replied.
(STATIC. No, I'm not going to show you the entire line, Spider Woman edited the more interesting conversations together for your benefit.)
Hey man, I said. What's your name?
"Chris," said the short, skinny guy.
Thanks, I replied, as I signed his DVD. Who do you like for Aggression?
"Dangle Bros, all the way."
Interesting, I said. How come?
"They're exciting, I dunno."
Okay, I said, leading him.
"What?"
I seriously would like to know, I continued.
"I dunno man," stuttered Chris, "Like... You and the First are okay I guess, but Cruise and Wells are funny and dirty and... They're just cooler."
He looked like he thought I wanted to hit him. Instead I put out my hand for him to shake.
Thanks, I appreciate the honesty, I said.
(STATIC)
"Hey, Impulse, this is my girlfriend Claire," said a guy named Rick, gesturing to the girl next to - slash - behind him, "She's a little shy, but she said she wanted to meet you."
Hi Claire, I said. How are you?
"I'm okay," she replied.
"Didn't you want to ask him something?" asked Rick.
Claire shook her head.
C'mon, I said. What's up?
"Can I... get a picture with you?" she asked.
The Empire representative started to say no since there was a long line, but like I said, I don't really care. Claire came to the other side of the table and put her arms around me, and I put the Intercontinental belt on her shoulder and showed my metal horns with my right hand for effect.
Speak up for yourself, kiddo, I said, as I gave her a hug.
"Thanks, man," said Rick, "We really appreciate this."
Any time, I answered.
(STATIC)
"You should've done what Dis said and taken the strap from Anarky," said Malcolm, "then we would've been spared some mediocre Champion time."
Maybe, I replied, but you just can't do that. Unless you're a household name like Randalls, or Troy, or Stevens - you need to earn your spot everywhere you go. If Nark came to the New Frontier and immediately demanded a match with Joe or Castor or whoever might be holding the belt after Futureshock he'd be laughed at, punked, and forcibly removed and he would've deserved it, and the reverse is also true.
Malcolm looked away and smirked. "Aight kid, maybe. But it don't mean it wouldn't'a been cool."
(STATIC)
You're missing the forest for the trees, I explained, trying my best to make the hackneyed cliche sound less hackneyed. First didn't get lucky because time ran out, and Trip wasn't 'screwed' because of it, either. You go sixty minutes and walk away, you just did something about ninety percent of wrestlers currently active can't do. That's not something to be happy or sad about - that's business.
"Not at all," said Paul, "Trip would'a had it with five more minutes."
I shook my head. We can't actually know that, I said.
(STATIC)
"Really appreciate this," said George, as he shook my hand, "you've been my favorite wrestler for a long time."
Thanks, I replied, handing him his signed DVD. That means a lot.
"I mean it too," he continued, "You're the best pure wrestler to hit the biz since Mike Randalls, and it's like you took his brawling insanity and traded it for even more mat wrestling skills. Please shut the Dangle Brothers up at Aggression."
I laughed. I'll do my best, I said.
(STATIC)
"DADDY'S GONNA KICK YOUR ASS!" shouted the guy whose name I never got. He apparently waited on line for an hour or more just to tell me that, didn't buy a DVD, and ran out of the store.
I really couldn't do anything. The people behind him on line watched him go, almost hypnotized.
"If I were you," said a woman two people back, "I'd be more concerned that that guy is calling a large man that he isn't related to 'Daddy.'"
Which, of course, broke everyone up.
(STATIC)
"So how do you feel?" asked Spider Woman, aiming the camera at my head.
Tired, I admitted. But it was overall a lot of fun. I might have to venture out among the fans more often.
We were on our way back to the hotel. I sprang for the big room because I was traveling with friends. Tomorrow, Jess would be headed back to Brooklyn while I stayed in town to do press for Aggression.
I know, right?
Besides that, I am now officially banned from the Dearborn Best Buy because my conversations held the store - and the manager - until almost three in the morning. I regret nothing.
It was really eye opening.
So, from what I was able to gather from this small cross section of wrestling fan, most of the Empire fans think I routinely wrestle in the best match on any given show. They think I'm innovative and creative and a lot of fun to watch, which was the best thing I could've hoped for. And a surprising number of them think I should be a World Champion already.
The wrestling fan who thinks Jared Wells is going to leave with my title is essentially the frat - boy type who looks for the next thing to yell out when he's at the bar.
As far as I stand with the typical fan, they seem to like me. And while it doesn't make me a 'bad guy' to disagree with and openly dress down the other fan favorite types, it evidently doesn't do much for their getting behind me. I suppose it's one of those things, just because I can say something doesn't mean that I should.
One fan, ironically enough named Randy, told me it didn't make me any less of what I hope to be by getting into the muck and mixing it up in a character debate, but that I had nothing to gain and everything to lose when it didn't concern me.
He was right, of course.
So we'll see where things go from here, and I hope to find answers to the Empire's two burning questions over the course of the next few weeks.
One, why does Jared Wells insist that we call him 'Daddy'?
And two... what, exactly, are he and Cameron Cruise... dangling with each other?
Shudder.
(FADE)
Last edited:
BarryClarkJr
DADDY
Another YAY.
(Camera opens up once again to the closed down Dangles Bar & Grill which now is being gutted out and reconstructed. Camera pans around several subcontractors working. All the way from the demolition to mill work. Camera zooms into a subcontractor on a ladder hanging up the new open sign by the front door that reads "THE BAR IS OPEN." Camera then pans on over to the famous bar covered up by tarp with Jared Wells walking around looking at the progress. He is wearing black flip flops, jeans, black cut off tee shirt that reads DADDY. All of the hammering, the sawing, the destruction, and Spanish stops. He walks up to the bar that is covered by tarp and slams a handled sized rum bottle and a few glasses. He slowly pours a few shots one by one)
JARED WELLS: It's funny. While everyone talks about the blood, the revenge, the stars, the moons, the champion, the man, the woman, Dan Ryan, Ronald McDonald, the nerds, I'm here. Jared Wells. The LEGEND, the entrepreneur. DADDY IS HERE. Fifteen years in the making, THANK GOD I'M BACK. EPW needed it. Especially for the Intercontinental Champion. Few phone calls, some SLAMMING nights of drinking I agreed to comeback. Impulse calls DADDY out. You've got some lip on you midget. What you don't have is credibility. I mean credibility in my eyes, not EPW. You challenge DADDY in SIPPERSVILLE, USA at some S(BLEEP)T Best Buy. You're the F(BLEEP)KING INTERCONTINENTAL CHAMPION! A title I've never held in my career. You've got balls. I could never lower myself going to Best Buy signing autographs for the YAYS.
(Jared passes shots to some of the illegals helping restore his bar)
MUCHAS GRACIAS!!!!
(Subcontractors are all of the sudden given cue cards)
SUBCONTRACTOR #1 : Hi welcome to Best Buy. Will you be putting this purchase on your Best Buy Card today?
JARED WELLS: No.
SUBCONTRACTOR #2: Would you like to sign up for a Best Buy card today?
JARED WELLS: WHO THE F(BLEEP)K SAID THAT?
SUBCONTRACTOR #3: Do you have a Best Buy Rewards card?
JARED WELLS: No.
SUBCONTRACTOR #4: Would you like to sign up? It’s only $9.99 and for every $125 you spend…
JARED WELLS: No thanks.
SUBCONTRACTOR #5: Russian Roulette DVD? We will pay you anything to sit here and sign autographs.
JARED WELLS: No. Daddy simply doesn't do that. The stars, the moons, F(BLEEP)K you IMPULSE. I need this title more than ever. Creative? I think you need to look yourself in the mirror pal and ask who really is creative. Implulse? Or Best Buy? The DVD'S? The First? Besa mi culo, puto. I thank the Spanish, not the NERDS.
(...FADEOUT)....
Have I had moments where I questioned this comeback? Moments where doubt haunted my mind? The easy answer is yes. But the difficult and truly great answer is no. I’ve trained my mind and heart to the methods only known to myself to have no doubt, and only fear of things you should be afraid of. Like fire or bears. Or even angel dust.
(Camera opens up once again to the closed down Dangles Bar & Grill which now is being gutted out and reconstructed. Camera pans around several subcontractors working. All the way from the demolition to mill work. Camera zooms into a subcontractor on a ladder hanging up the new open sign by the front door that reads "THE BAR IS OPEN." Camera then pans on over to the famous bar covered up by tarp with Jared Wells walking around looking at the progress. He is wearing black flip flops, jeans, black cut off tee shirt that reads DADDY. All of the hammering, the sawing, the destruction, and Spanish stops. He walks up to the bar that is covered by tarp and slams a handled sized rum bottle and a few glasses. He slowly pours a few shots one by one)
JARED WELLS: It's funny. While everyone talks about the blood, the revenge, the stars, the moons, the champion, the man, the woman, Dan Ryan, Ronald McDonald, the nerds, I'm here. Jared Wells. The LEGEND, the entrepreneur. DADDY IS HERE. Fifteen years in the making, THANK GOD I'M BACK. EPW needed it. Especially for the Intercontinental Champion. Few phone calls, some SLAMMING nights of drinking I agreed to comeback. Impulse calls DADDY out. You've got some lip on you midget. What you don't have is credibility. I mean credibility in my eyes, not EPW. You challenge DADDY in SIPPERSVILLE, USA at some S(BLEEP)T Best Buy. You're the F(BLEEP)KING INTERCONTINENTAL CHAMPION! A title I've never held in my career. You've got balls. I could never lower myself going to Best Buy signing autographs for the YAYS.
(Jared passes shots to some of the illegals helping restore his bar)
MUCHAS GRACIAS!!!!
(Subcontractors are all of the sudden given cue cards)
SUBCONTRACTOR #1 : Hi welcome to Best Buy. Will you be putting this purchase on your Best Buy Card today?
JARED WELLS: No.
SUBCONTRACTOR #2: Would you like to sign up for a Best Buy card today?
JARED WELLS: WHO THE F(BLEEP)K SAID THAT?
SUBCONTRACTOR #3: Do you have a Best Buy Rewards card?
JARED WELLS: No.
SUBCONTRACTOR #4: Would you like to sign up? It’s only $9.99 and for every $125 you spend…
JARED WELLS: No thanks.
SUBCONTRACTOR #5: Russian Roulette DVD? We will pay you anything to sit here and sign autographs.
JARED WELLS: No. Daddy simply doesn't do that. The stars, the moons, F(BLEEP)K you IMPULSE. I need this title more than ever. Creative? I think you need to look yourself in the mirror pal and ask who really is creative. Implulse? Or Best Buy? The DVD'S? The First? Besa mi culo, puto. I thank the Spanish, not the NERDS.
(...FADEOUT)....
Have I had moments where I questioned this comeback? Moments where doubt haunted my mind? The easy answer is yes. But the difficult and truly great answer is no. I’ve trained my mind and heart to the methods only known to myself to have no doubt, and only fear of things you should be afraid of. Like fire or bears. Or even angel dust.
User Poets
The Shadow Pope
- Joined
- Jan 6, 1995
- Messages
- 2,192
- Points
- 36
- Age
- 44
- Location
- Top of the Pile
- Website
- www.valeriansgarden.com
Revelation
So I'm lying here in my hotel room, staring at the ceiling trying to sleep, and I just can't do it. I was out all day doing press for Aggression 65: phoner with the local morning show, some photo op stuff, an interview with another sheet that may or may not ever see the light of day.
Call it overcompensation for four years of never lifting a finger to help sell a show with anything but the promise of another amazing match.
Lesbian Siegel is really getting her money's worth on this one. She heard about the in-store, how many fans were there and how much fun I admittedly ended up having, and I can see how her mind worked:
He's enjoying it, he's already in Detroit, let's give Knox all the rest of it!
I'm not the World Champion, but I get it. The First has a certain look to him that doesn't necessarily play well to middle America. Regardless of the crew I run with back home, I simply look like the face of a company, so at least for now, they're using me as that face.
But after a day as busy and exhausting as this, I should be sound asleep. I told Rose that I could barely keep my eyes open which is why we had such a brief phone call - and it's true. But my mind is racing.
Ahhhhhhhhlike so.
Click.
(FADEIN... on my ceiling.
Weren't you paying attention?)
"Two questions keep coming up."
"What does Jared Wells think is going to happen in Detroit?"
"And does he really think it'll be a Jared Wells victory?"
"I've heard Cameron Cruise and Jared Wells talk a lot in the past few weeks. Mainly it was Cammy, about Anthology and how they ran things and were the guiding force behind the evolution of the Empire."
"So I did the research."
I didn't do much of it, I should confess.
"And it looks like Sean Stevens ran things, and was the guiding force behind the Empire. Anthology was given a sip of legitimacy when Sean Stevens was part of it. To me, and to the majority of the Empire's fans, it seems like Anthology had a decent lifespan but petered out when it was clear there was going to be no endgame and no realization of an ultimate goal."
There's nothing to be ashamed of there, you can substitute over ninety nine percent of other professional wrestling factions in for Anthology and the end result is the same.
"The bottom line of it is that Anthology meant little and accomplished nothing."
"Only, that's not true."
"I defy you, since Russian Roulette, to locate three promos that Cameron Cruise has unleashed upon us that has not mentioned either Anthology or the Cameron Cruise project."
"Obviously, the moments that we as wrestling fans and fellow wrestlers saw, shrugged at, and left behind meant everything to Cameron. In my dealings with Cameron Cruise, he's revealed himself to be a man of above average talent with below average confidence who has managed to psych himself out of every shot he's ever had to break through to the next level."
"It's as if he's only able to relax when the fans and the business are watching someone besides him."
Interesting, you're saying, but Cameron isn't my opponent.
This hyperlinked story is dedicated to Miss Ivy, the undisputed master.
"They told me that Cameron first went from the annoying kid brother of professional wrestling to an actual player when he was running with Joey Melton, who, when you add up his wrestling skills, his promo skills, his charisma, his psychology... everything that makes a good wrestler a good wrestler... there is nobody in the history of this business who is better than Joey Melton."
"And now, Cameron Cruise has a new bout of self confidence because he's got his Daddy watching his back."
Boom. Connected.
"We all know someone who fills up the room. Just by existing, they force everyone around them to act and react to what they're saying and doing. Our esteemed boss, Dan Ryan, can do that in a substantive way. Dan Ryan can be in a room full of people and not say a word, and everyone is aware of his presence and reacts to him in some way."
Yes, he's about eight feet tall and nine hundred and fifty pounds, but I could've just as easily used the five three hundred twenty pound Poison Ivy; our boss is simply a frame of reference that everyone in the Empire can understand.
"There's also people like Jared Wells. Everyone in the room is aware of his presence and reacts to him in some way as well... because he's loud and obnoxious and actively works at filling the room."
"Eli and Miss Ivy don't let people like him into TC's anymore because they ruin everyone else's good time. Jared Wells is the kind of guy who will hit on every woman in the room until they get annoyed and leave, at which point he'll loudly complain that nobody told him he was in a lesbian bar."
Rose told me that actually happened once. True story.
"Case in point: Jared Wells asked me two questions when he was sitting with his Iranian Sheik friend. He asked me if I knew who the eff he was, and he asked me if cats tasted like pumpkin pie; he wants to know because he's never had pumpkin pie."
No, he didn't say cats, but I'm not going to dignify his actual question with a direct quote.
"Question number one, Jared... no, I don't know who you are directly but just like Cameron only feels confident when he has someone else to lean on, my guess is you only feel confident when you've got a circle of followers to call you Daddy and tell you that you're the man."
"I assume that's why you never appear alone. I assume that's why the only title you've ever won in the Empire was a Tag Team Title: you could rely on your partner.
"The more pressing question might be if you know who I am. Probably not: but you might want to ask your partner Cameron. He hasn't always had the greatest night when we've been in the ring together, but mine have been pretty satisfying, on the whole. He might be able to tell you what you're in for."
"And your second question... is the crux of the matter."
"Because real men spend their nights doing shots instead of 'sipping slush mixed drinks,' right? Real men spend their nights with women lined up at the door three at a time because they're bowled over by the sheer force of their testosterone laden aura, right?"
Apparently real men want other men to call them Daddy, too. I don't get that part but to each his own.
"A real man, Jared, lives his life without telling other people how they should live theirs. A real man can take care of his family and raise kids that don't talk during the movies."
"And a real man who is going through the ladies every night doesn't talk about it."
Didn't we all learn that in the junior high locker rooms? The guys who talk the most are getting the least. It's like the idiot jock boy mentality version of the real suicide threats being the people who don't talk about it.
And I really am getting tired now. The strategy worked.
"One last thought, Jared... you sat on your ass for two years and were rewarded with a shot at the Intercontinental Championship?"
"No you weren't."
"You made it very clear at Aggression 64 that you were planning on taking the Intercontinental Championship, which means that, sooner or later, I was going to have to deal with you. And between point A and point B, I was going to have to listen to you."
"There are two ways to deal with a person like you, Jared. The first option is to ignore them."
"I think we can agree that you're too loud and too abrasive to really be ignored. Plus, if you want my title, you're going to find a way to get my attention."
"The second way? Stand up to them, look them in the eye, and shut them down."
That's my way.
"So after Aggression 65, Jared... you may go on to great things in the Empire. You and Cruise may run the place and reward and punish us all to suit yourselves. Hell, Cameron Cruise may walk out of Sixty Five with the big gold belt around his waist."
I don't think it's likely, but he does have the tools to beat The First: he's done it before.
"But after Sixty Five, Jared... no matter what you do or where you go, you'll have a permanent reminder of the gross miscalculation of your own skills."
"And you'll realize what the rest of us already know: beyond the bluster and the bravado... you'll see just how small 'Daddy' really is."
(FADE)
So I'm lying here in my hotel room, staring at the ceiling trying to sleep, and I just can't do it. I was out all day doing press for Aggression 65: phoner with the local morning show, some photo op stuff, an interview with another sheet that may or may not ever see the light of day.
Call it overcompensation for four years of never lifting a finger to help sell a show with anything but the promise of another amazing match.
Lesbian Siegel is really getting her money's worth on this one. She heard about the in-store, how many fans were there and how much fun I admittedly ended up having, and I can see how her mind worked:
He's enjoying it, he's already in Detroit, let's give Knox all the rest of it!
I'm not the World Champion, but I get it. The First has a certain look to him that doesn't necessarily play well to middle America. Regardless of the crew I run with back home, I simply look like the face of a company, so at least for now, they're using me as that face.
But after a day as busy and exhausting as this, I should be sound asleep. I told Rose that I could barely keep my eyes open which is why we had such a brief phone call - and it's true. But my mind is racing.
Ahhhhhhhhlike so.
Click.
(FADEIN... on my ceiling.
Weren't you paying attention?)
"Two questions keep coming up."
"What does Jared Wells think is going to happen in Detroit?"
"And does he really think it'll be a Jared Wells victory?"
"I've heard Cameron Cruise and Jared Wells talk a lot in the past few weeks. Mainly it was Cammy, about Anthology and how they ran things and were the guiding force behind the evolution of the Empire."
"So I did the research."
I didn't do much of it, I should confess.
"And it looks like Sean Stevens ran things, and was the guiding force behind the Empire. Anthology was given a sip of legitimacy when Sean Stevens was part of it. To me, and to the majority of the Empire's fans, it seems like Anthology had a decent lifespan but petered out when it was clear there was going to be no endgame and no realization of an ultimate goal."
There's nothing to be ashamed of there, you can substitute over ninety nine percent of other professional wrestling factions in for Anthology and the end result is the same.
"The bottom line of it is that Anthology meant little and accomplished nothing."
"Only, that's not true."
"I defy you, since Russian Roulette, to locate three promos that Cameron Cruise has unleashed upon us that has not mentioned either Anthology or the Cameron Cruise project."
"Obviously, the moments that we as wrestling fans and fellow wrestlers saw, shrugged at, and left behind meant everything to Cameron. In my dealings with Cameron Cruise, he's revealed himself to be a man of above average talent with below average confidence who has managed to psych himself out of every shot he's ever had to break through to the next level."
"It's as if he's only able to relax when the fans and the business are watching someone besides him."
Interesting, you're saying, but Cameron isn't my opponent.
This hyperlinked story is dedicated to Miss Ivy, the undisputed master.
"They told me that Cameron first went from the annoying kid brother of professional wrestling to an actual player when he was running with Joey Melton, who, when you add up his wrestling skills, his promo skills, his charisma, his psychology... everything that makes a good wrestler a good wrestler... there is nobody in the history of this business who is better than Joey Melton."
"And now, Cameron Cruise has a new bout of self confidence because he's got his Daddy watching his back."
Boom. Connected.
"We all know someone who fills up the room. Just by existing, they force everyone around them to act and react to what they're saying and doing. Our esteemed boss, Dan Ryan, can do that in a substantive way. Dan Ryan can be in a room full of people and not say a word, and everyone is aware of his presence and reacts to him in some way."
Yes, he's about eight feet tall and nine hundred and fifty pounds, but I could've just as easily used the five three hundred twenty pound Poison Ivy; our boss is simply a frame of reference that everyone in the Empire can understand.
"There's also people like Jared Wells. Everyone in the room is aware of his presence and reacts to him in some way as well... because he's loud and obnoxious and actively works at filling the room."
"Eli and Miss Ivy don't let people like him into TC's anymore because they ruin everyone else's good time. Jared Wells is the kind of guy who will hit on every woman in the room until they get annoyed and leave, at which point he'll loudly complain that nobody told him he was in a lesbian bar."
Rose told me that actually happened once. True story.
"Case in point: Jared Wells asked me two questions when he was sitting with his Iranian Sheik friend. He asked me if I knew who the eff he was, and he asked me if cats tasted like pumpkin pie; he wants to know because he's never had pumpkin pie."
No, he didn't say cats, but I'm not going to dignify his actual question with a direct quote.
"Question number one, Jared... no, I don't know who you are directly but just like Cameron only feels confident when he has someone else to lean on, my guess is you only feel confident when you've got a circle of followers to call you Daddy and tell you that you're the man."
"I assume that's why you never appear alone. I assume that's why the only title you've ever won in the Empire was a Tag Team Title: you could rely on your partner.
"The more pressing question might be if you know who I am. Probably not: but you might want to ask your partner Cameron. He hasn't always had the greatest night when we've been in the ring together, but mine have been pretty satisfying, on the whole. He might be able to tell you what you're in for."
"And your second question... is the crux of the matter."
"Because real men spend their nights doing shots instead of 'sipping slush mixed drinks,' right? Real men spend their nights with women lined up at the door three at a time because they're bowled over by the sheer force of their testosterone laden aura, right?"
Apparently real men want other men to call them Daddy, too. I don't get that part but to each his own.
"A real man, Jared, lives his life without telling other people how they should live theirs. A real man can take care of his family and raise kids that don't talk during the movies."
"And a real man who is going through the ladies every night doesn't talk about it."
Didn't we all learn that in the junior high locker rooms? The guys who talk the most are getting the least. It's like the idiot jock boy mentality version of the real suicide threats being the people who don't talk about it.
And I really am getting tired now. The strategy worked.
"One last thought, Jared... you sat on your ass for two years and were rewarded with a shot at the Intercontinental Championship?"
"No you weren't."
"You made it very clear at Aggression 64 that you were planning on taking the Intercontinental Championship, which means that, sooner or later, I was going to have to deal with you. And between point A and point B, I was going to have to listen to you."
"There are two ways to deal with a person like you, Jared. The first option is to ignore them."
"I think we can agree that you're too loud and too abrasive to really be ignored. Plus, if you want my title, you're going to find a way to get my attention."
"The second way? Stand up to them, look them in the eye, and shut them down."
That's my way.
"So after Aggression 65, Jared... you may go on to great things in the Empire. You and Cruise may run the place and reward and punish us all to suit yourselves. Hell, Cameron Cruise may walk out of Sixty Five with the big gold belt around his waist."
I don't think it's likely, but he does have the tools to beat The First: he's done it before.
"But after Sixty Five, Jared... no matter what you do or where you go, you'll have a permanent reminder of the gross miscalculation of your own skills."
"And you'll realize what the rest of us already know: beyond the bluster and the bravado... you'll see just how small 'Daddy' really is."
(FADE)