AGGRESSION 70: KOTC Rd. 2 - Teddy Alexander/Sam Turner, Jr v. Steven Shane/Larry Tact
- Thread starter DBrunkGXW
- Start date
fugginVOSS
The REAL Funk U. T-shirt
[FADE IN: on an EPW backdrop, standing before it is the Philadelphian Nightmare, TEDDY ALEXANDER, snarlin’ his face off. The t-shirt he wears today, with the crudely cut-off sleeves, is a Larry Tact shirt. His eyes staring deep into your soul as he draws breath to begin talking.]
TEDDY ALEXANDER:
“Da Empire saw me fall THREE stars in da first round of da King of da Cage tournament. Not only did I give Point of View somethin’ else to think about but I gave Oblivion da hidin’ of his life, draggin’ his sorry ass over da top of da cage to show dat I AM da man everybody in dis tournament should be fearin’.
“I am an unadulterated monster ready and willin’ to pull apart all those dat stand before me. You’ve seen it before and you’ll see it again. I will obliterate anythin’ dat stands in my way. Kick your head clean off with da Angerbash then smash you to smithereens with da Ragekill Driver.
“Rinse and repeat.
“Da only thin’ dat changes is da sorry bastard on da receivin’ end.
“Dis time it’s Steven Shane and Larry Tact.”
[Snicker.]
TEDDY ALEXANDER:
“Larry Tact. A man I’m no stranger to. A man who cost me my debut win here in da Empire. A man who gave dis rookie his lickin’ but forgot dat some men keep on kickin’.”
[Smirk.]
TEDDY ALEXANDER:
“It just so happened dat when I kept on kickin’ I kicked his head clean off and cost him da Empire’s Television Championship. I hit dat ring and knocked him out with da Angerbash leavin’ Anarky to claim da gold.
“Tact cost me my first win. I cost him his first singles gold in da Empire.
“And I’m also goin’ to cost him his advancement in da King of da Cage.
“I know what’s goin’ through your mind, Larry. Revenge. You came at me hard and fast at Black Dawn but you couldn’t get da best of me. You couldn’t overcome me. I drove your sorry ass into da canvas with da Ragekill Driver and pinned you...” [TEDDY counts off his fingers] “...One – Two – Three!
“And dis week at Aggression will be NO different. It doesn’t matter who you bring to da ring with you. I’ve got da best of you. I’m inside your head. I’m dat nightmare dat you just can’t get rid of. I’m like dat monster dat lurks in da dark and goes bump in da night.
“You’ll learn da hard way EACH and EVERY time, Larry.
“YOU – CAN’T – STOP – ME!”
[TEDDY rolls his shoulders in their sockets.]
TEDDY ALEXANDER:
“It seems, Larry, dat your partner has TRUST issues with you. It seems like Shane has as much to take away from you as I do. I don’t know your past but I can see your future.
“It’s both of you idiots bein’ wheeled out on guerneys to da back with your necks in traction.”
[Reaching behind him, TEDDY plucks out two neckbraces and holds them up for the camera to see. Crudely scrawled across them are his opponent’s names. “TACT” scrawled across one. “SHANE” scrawled across the other. He wraps the one reading “TACT” around his right upper arm and biceps then the “SHANE” neck brace on his left upper arm.]
TEDDY ALEXANDER:
“I’ll bring these down for you to save da EMT’s da trouble of findin’ them. Dat’s just da kind of guy I am.
“At Aggression, I advance in da tournament. I move on to da next round with your blood on my hands.
“Steven, you’re gonna have a HELL of a time seein’ dat Larry keeps focused on da task at hand. He’ll be so overcome with da desire to tear me a new asshole dat he’ll forget to keep his eyes on da prize. And dat desire will be fuelled by da fear dat I’ll turn his lights out once again.
“I am Larry’s burdenin’ anguish.”
[Snicker.]
TEDDY ALEXANDER:
“Which brings me to my partner. Oblivion seems to have been kicked out of da tournament. After I carried his ass to victory against Point of View it seems Dan Ryan saw it in his heart to remove dis mongoloid from da competition and assign me a new partner.
“Sammy Turner Junior.”
[Snarl.]
TEDDY ALEXANDER:
“Sammy. I know you’ve had your trials and tribulations with partners but here’s where I lay da line down for you.
“You turn you better show up. I’ve got no problem in givin’ you da exact same treatment I gave to Oblivion. I’ve got no problem knockin’ your hick ass out cold in da ring and dealin’ with these two muppets myself.
“I’ve done it before.
“I’ll do it again.
“I’ll kick your head off just da same as I will Larry’s and Steven’s. I will throw your sorry ass over da top of da cage and drag your carcass to victory.
“I’m tellin’ you now, Sammy. You better show up. Coz I’ve had my fill of assholes leavin’ me high and dry.
“I can do dis all on my own.
“I will destroy you all. Each and every one of you.”
[Wicked grin.]
TEDDY ALEXANDER:
“Let da bodies hit da floor.”
[FADE to BLACK!]
TEDDY ALEXANDER:
“Da Empire saw me fall THREE stars in da first round of da King of da Cage tournament. Not only did I give Point of View somethin’ else to think about but I gave Oblivion da hidin’ of his life, draggin’ his sorry ass over da top of da cage to show dat I AM da man everybody in dis tournament should be fearin’.
“I am an unadulterated monster ready and willin’ to pull apart all those dat stand before me. You’ve seen it before and you’ll see it again. I will obliterate anythin’ dat stands in my way. Kick your head clean off with da Angerbash then smash you to smithereens with da Ragekill Driver.
“Rinse and repeat.
“Da only thin’ dat changes is da sorry bastard on da receivin’ end.
“Dis time it’s Steven Shane and Larry Tact.”
[Snicker.]
TEDDY ALEXANDER:
“Larry Tact. A man I’m no stranger to. A man who cost me my debut win here in da Empire. A man who gave dis rookie his lickin’ but forgot dat some men keep on kickin’.”
[Smirk.]
TEDDY ALEXANDER:
“It just so happened dat when I kept on kickin’ I kicked his head clean off and cost him da Empire’s Television Championship. I hit dat ring and knocked him out with da Angerbash leavin’ Anarky to claim da gold.
“Tact cost me my first win. I cost him his first singles gold in da Empire.
“And I’m also goin’ to cost him his advancement in da King of da Cage.
“I know what’s goin’ through your mind, Larry. Revenge. You came at me hard and fast at Black Dawn but you couldn’t get da best of me. You couldn’t overcome me. I drove your sorry ass into da canvas with da Ragekill Driver and pinned you...” [TEDDY counts off his fingers] “...One – Two – Three!
“And dis week at Aggression will be NO different. It doesn’t matter who you bring to da ring with you. I’ve got da best of you. I’m inside your head. I’m dat nightmare dat you just can’t get rid of. I’m like dat monster dat lurks in da dark and goes bump in da night.
“You’ll learn da hard way EACH and EVERY time, Larry.
“YOU – CAN’T – STOP – ME!”
[TEDDY rolls his shoulders in their sockets.]
TEDDY ALEXANDER:
“It seems, Larry, dat your partner has TRUST issues with you. It seems like Shane has as much to take away from you as I do. I don’t know your past but I can see your future.
“It’s both of you idiots bein’ wheeled out on guerneys to da back with your necks in traction.”
[Reaching behind him, TEDDY plucks out two neckbraces and holds them up for the camera to see. Crudely scrawled across them are his opponent’s names. “TACT” scrawled across one. “SHANE” scrawled across the other. He wraps the one reading “TACT” around his right upper arm and biceps then the “SHANE” neck brace on his left upper arm.]
TEDDY ALEXANDER:
“I’ll bring these down for you to save da EMT’s da trouble of findin’ them. Dat’s just da kind of guy I am.
“At Aggression, I advance in da tournament. I move on to da next round with your blood on my hands.
“Steven, you’re gonna have a HELL of a time seein’ dat Larry keeps focused on da task at hand. He’ll be so overcome with da desire to tear me a new asshole dat he’ll forget to keep his eyes on da prize. And dat desire will be fuelled by da fear dat I’ll turn his lights out once again.
“I am Larry’s burdenin’ anguish.”
[Snicker.]
TEDDY ALEXANDER:
“Which brings me to my partner. Oblivion seems to have been kicked out of da tournament. After I carried his ass to victory against Point of View it seems Dan Ryan saw it in his heart to remove dis mongoloid from da competition and assign me a new partner.
“Sammy Turner Junior.”
[Snarl.]
TEDDY ALEXANDER:
“Sammy. I know you’ve had your trials and tribulations with partners but here’s where I lay da line down for you.
“You turn you better show up. I’ve got no problem in givin’ you da exact same treatment I gave to Oblivion. I’ve got no problem knockin’ your hick ass out cold in da ring and dealin’ with these two muppets myself.
“I’ve done it before.
“I’ll do it again.
“I’ll kick your head off just da same as I will Larry’s and Steven’s. I will throw your sorry ass over da top of da cage and drag your carcass to victory.
“I’m tellin’ you now, Sammy. You better show up. Coz I’ve had my fill of assholes leavin’ me high and dry.
“I can do dis all on my own.
“I will destroy you all. Each and every one of you.”
[Wicked grin.]
TEDDY ALEXANDER:
“Let da bodies hit da floor.”
[FADE to BLACK!]
thegr817deuce
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(We open to a shot of Steven Shane doing pushups in a room that can really bear no description. He continues the workout without acknowledgement of the camera within as he embodies his level of focus. Without interruption, a narrator begins to speak.)
“Steven Shane does not stand corrected.”
“Larry Tact followed the plot, chapter by chapter.”
“And now, Steven Shane must continue on with this tournament to determine the “Kings of the Cage.”
“Yet, in round one, Steven Shane was forced to do all the heavy lifting while Larry Tact watched like the worthless hack that he is.”
“However, this will not slow Steven Shane.”
“Steven Shane will continue to defend his crown.”
“With or without Larry Tact.”
“This week, Steven Shane has drawn Teddy Alexander.”
“Apparently, Teddy has a past with Larry Tact as well as the ability to state the blatantly obvious.”
“Steven Shane realizes that he’ll have his hands full in this round of King of the Cage.”
“That’s largely due to the fact that Larry Tact is no tag team partner, regardless of his feelings towards Terrible Teddy.”
“Steven Shane will continue to have his eyes on all three men in the ring this week.”
“Hopefully, Mr. Tact will actually be in the ring this time when Steven Shane picks up the win.”
“Because Steven Shane fully intends on defeating Teddy Alexander this week.”
“The only win that Teddy Alexander will even come close to this week is if his partner actually shows up.”
“Unfortunately, that’s a fight Steven Shane must endure as well…”
“Steven Shane does not stand corrected.”
“Larry Tact followed the plot, chapter by chapter.”
“And now, Steven Shane must continue on with this tournament to determine the “Kings of the Cage.”
“Yet, in round one, Steven Shane was forced to do all the heavy lifting while Larry Tact watched like the worthless hack that he is.”
“However, this will not slow Steven Shane.”
“Steven Shane will continue to defend his crown.”
“With or without Larry Tact.”
“This week, Steven Shane has drawn Teddy Alexander.”
“Apparently, Teddy has a past with Larry Tact as well as the ability to state the blatantly obvious.”
“Steven Shane realizes that he’ll have his hands full in this round of King of the Cage.”
“That’s largely due to the fact that Larry Tact is no tag team partner, regardless of his feelings towards Terrible Teddy.”
“Steven Shane will continue to have his eyes on all three men in the ring this week.”
“Hopefully, Mr. Tact will actually be in the ring this time when Steven Shane picks up the win.”
“Because Steven Shane fully intends on defeating Teddy Alexander this week.”
“The only win that Teddy Alexander will even come close to this week is if his partner actually shows up.”
“Unfortunately, that’s a fight Steven Shane must endure as well…”
Chris King
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Welp I kindly don feel much like a talkin but I rekon I need ta vent ma frustrat'n bout ole Alec O. Denture an our match tha otha day.
That ole midget was on ma like flies ta a cow pie. I couldn't gets him down fer some reason. He turned inta a gnat that'cha just couldn't squarsh. I hate'em type gnats.
Ya know, I'm in'is tag team tournament over in ole EPW an I gots a new tag team partn'r. I rekon his name is Teddy Alexander, but I ain't ta sure. I hear'd four names on tha phone an one of'em was mine, them oth'rs was a Steven Shame an a Larry Tack er sum'thin like'at.
I don know a nary thang bout Shame, Teddy er Tack. That kindly makes it hard ta prepare fer a match when ya gots so many unknowns but I'mma big nuff boy ta toss people round'at ole ring, well I hope an'way.
~
So I had ma first real date wiff ole big boobies Kim, who's now ma girlfri'nd, an lets just say I lost sumptin'at I'll nev'r get back. It wasa good feelin an I wished I'd don don it a few times already. I really liked it.
I wasn't expectin ta do do'at but atter we watched'at ole Taken 2 she wasa gettin a lil touchy feely. She wasa wontin me ta hold'er an then she kissed me and started'at ole bitin ma lip (I ain't like'at ta much). Well an then...you'll jus have ta imagine, cause'ats between us.
I sure did hate ta see'er go home, but I like watchin'er walk away. If'n this ole rasslin thing works out, I rekon I'll ask'er ta be ma gal ferev'r, I'm talkin ring an wings, er maybe some ole cracklin an ribs, whatev'r she'd like bes.
Since I wasa already in love wiff'er I wonted ta tell ma maw an paw but I don rekon they'll understan. They don think I needs ta be wastin ma time wiff ole Kim, but I likes her an shes'a always showin me her big ole boobies, an I likes'em right real good.
~
Back on the farmland in Harlan Co., KY the Turner family is working on getting all there summer stuff put up and bringing in some of there heavier coats.
"Junior getcha rear down here, I need ya ta move some boxes fer me." Susan, Sam's mom hollered.
Sam came climbing down from the rafters of the barn, where he sleeps.
"Whatcha need maw?" He bellowed as he leaped off the ladder and let his work boots hit the solid ground.
Sam walked out from the barn and went up to his mom.
"We gots some of'em boxes'at got'em ole winter coats that I need ya to bring down fer me." Sussn told Sam Jr.
"Aight maw." Sam replied.
Susan and Sam went in the house and Sam headed straight upstairs to towards the attic to bring stuff down. Up the attic stairs he goes into the dark abyss.
"Whichin is it thatcha wont?" Sam yelled from the attic.
"It's a heavyin that says winter clothes er winter stuff, i ferget which." Susan yells back.
Sam looks around using the light from the upstairs to see by. He spotted a box that said winter stuff and does to it.
"Aight, I rekon I found it maw." Sam yells.
He picks up the box which feels like its about a hundred pounds or so. He carried it over to the opening and sat it down.
Sam went down the ladder a few rungs and reached up for the box. He grabbed it good with his right arm but his grip wasn't as good on the left. As he took a step down his left hand slipped sending the box into his chest and knocking him down the last four rungs of the ladder.
"Ahhhhhhh!" Sam yelled as he hit the floor on his left shoulder.
"Sam is ya aight?" Susan asked franticly.
Sam pushed the box away from him and grabbed his shoulder.
"It's ma left sho'lder maw." Sam said still clutching it.
""Wont me ta call ole Doc Lawson an see what he thanks bout it? I'm sure he'd be right on ov'r if'n I tells him ya hurt." Susan asked.
Sam only shook his head no, still couching his shoulder.
"I be fine, we'll ice it an use heat an see how it is in tha mornin, okay?" Sam said as he sat up on the floor.
Susan nodded her head in agreement as Sam got up off the floor and headed to the kitchen for some ice.
"I'll be there in a min'te, Imma getcha a towel." Susan said.
Susan turned her attention from Sam to the box. She couldn't help but wonder what made it so heavy. She walked over to it, opened it up and rummaged through it.
"Ma dear god, who put'at in'is box?" She muttered.
She pulled out four sets of hand weights that were wrapped in Big Sam's old t-shirts.
"Why in tha world would he do'is fer? He coulda at least rit on tha box heavy. I'm gonna get'at man." Susan muttered again as she walked down the stairs to check on Sam.
That ole midget was on ma like flies ta a cow pie. I couldn't gets him down fer some reason. He turned inta a gnat that'cha just couldn't squarsh. I hate'em type gnats.
Ya know, I'm in'is tag team tournament over in ole EPW an I gots a new tag team partn'r. I rekon his name is Teddy Alexander, but I ain't ta sure. I hear'd four names on tha phone an one of'em was mine, them oth'rs was a Steven Shame an a Larry Tack er sum'thin like'at.
I don know a nary thang bout Shame, Teddy er Tack. That kindly makes it hard ta prepare fer a match when ya gots so many unknowns but I'mma big nuff boy ta toss people round'at ole ring, well I hope an'way.
~
So I had ma first real date wiff ole big boobies Kim, who's now ma girlfri'nd, an lets just say I lost sumptin'at I'll nev'r get back. It wasa good feelin an I wished I'd don don it a few times already. I really liked it.
I wasn't expectin ta do do'at but atter we watched'at ole Taken 2 she wasa gettin a lil touchy feely. She wasa wontin me ta hold'er an then she kissed me and started'at ole bitin ma lip (I ain't like'at ta much). Well an then...you'll jus have ta imagine, cause'ats between us.
I sure did hate ta see'er go home, but I like watchin'er walk away. If'n this ole rasslin thing works out, I rekon I'll ask'er ta be ma gal ferev'r, I'm talkin ring an wings, er maybe some ole cracklin an ribs, whatev'r she'd like bes.
Since I wasa already in love wiff'er I wonted ta tell ma maw an paw but I don rekon they'll understan. They don think I needs ta be wastin ma time wiff ole Kim, but I likes her an shes'a always showin me her big ole boobies, an I likes'em right real good.
~
Back on the farmland in Harlan Co., KY the Turner family is working on getting all there summer stuff put up and bringing in some of there heavier coats.
"Junior getcha rear down here, I need ya ta move some boxes fer me." Susan, Sam's mom hollered.
Sam came climbing down from the rafters of the barn, where he sleeps.
"Whatcha need maw?" He bellowed as he leaped off the ladder and let his work boots hit the solid ground.
Sam walked out from the barn and went up to his mom.
"We gots some of'em boxes'at got'em ole winter coats that I need ya to bring down fer me." Sussn told Sam Jr.
"Aight maw." Sam replied.
Susan and Sam went in the house and Sam headed straight upstairs to towards the attic to bring stuff down. Up the attic stairs he goes into the dark abyss.
"Whichin is it thatcha wont?" Sam yelled from the attic.
"It's a heavyin that says winter clothes er winter stuff, i ferget which." Susan yells back.
Sam looks around using the light from the upstairs to see by. He spotted a box that said winter stuff and does to it.
"Aight, I rekon I found it maw." Sam yells.
He picks up the box which feels like its about a hundred pounds or so. He carried it over to the opening and sat it down.
Sam went down the ladder a few rungs and reached up for the box. He grabbed it good with his right arm but his grip wasn't as good on the left. As he took a step down his left hand slipped sending the box into his chest and knocking him down the last four rungs of the ladder.
"Ahhhhhhh!" Sam yelled as he hit the floor on his left shoulder.
"Sam is ya aight?" Susan asked franticly.
Sam pushed the box away from him and grabbed his shoulder.
"It's ma left sho'lder maw." Sam said still clutching it.
""Wont me ta call ole Doc Lawson an see what he thanks bout it? I'm sure he'd be right on ov'r if'n I tells him ya hurt." Susan asked.
Sam only shook his head no, still couching his shoulder.
"I be fine, we'll ice it an use heat an see how it is in tha mornin, okay?" Sam said as he sat up on the floor.
Susan nodded her head in agreement as Sam got up off the floor and headed to the kitchen for some ice.
"I'll be there in a min'te, Imma getcha a towel." Susan said.
Susan turned her attention from Sam to the box. She couldn't help but wonder what made it so heavy. She walked over to it, opened it up and rummaged through it.
"Ma dear god, who put'at in'is box?" She muttered.
She pulled out four sets of hand weights that were wrapped in Big Sam's old t-shirts.
"Why in tha world would he do'is fer? He coulda at least rit on tha box heavy. I'm gonna get'at man." Susan muttered again as she walked down the stairs to check on Sam.
Starbreaker
Member
Interlude, Pt. 2: Your plans are invalid.
FADE IN.
(The room has changed. An oak roundtable is still only half visible, the rest of the table and room remaining in shadow. Larry Tact is no longer sitting, either. He stands on black and gray tiled floor, wearing a sleeveless white Under Armor shirt, pine-green workout pants, and black shoes. His wavy, thick mane of golden blonde hair still hangs loose to about halfway down his neck. His olive-green eyes are focused on the white wall he faces, back turned to the table and the viewer.
The screen goes black, and a new, soundless message appears in bold white lettering, before returning to our view of Tact.)
YOUR ACTIONS SPOKE VOLUMES AT AGGRESSION.
LARRY TACT: "Really? I don't feel anyone got the point."
YOU SHOWED YOU WERE CAPABLE OF ACCOMPLISHING YOUR GOAL.
"Nobody understood my goals in the match."
YOUR PRIMARY GOAL WAS TO WIN. TO ADVANCE.
"It was... in part. But what I did was something nobody expected. I established a foundation for success."
BY ESCAPING THE CAGE, YOU DID YOUR PART.
"I wasn't just escaping the cage. I showed all of EPW how dangerous Steven Shane and I are."
EXPLAIN YOURSELF.
(As we see Tact again, he now sits at the table, palms open and facing up. He looks across the table, towards the shadows cast onto the other side of the room.)
"Steven Shane entered this tournament as a relative unknown quantity. That isn't to say that he was unknown; it's just that nobody knew what condition he would actually be in. Would this be the Steven Shane who was capable of winning King of the Cage? Would we see the Steven Shane who was prone to tripping over himself?"
STEVEN SHANE PROVED TO BE A DANGEROUS ELEMENT.
"I left him in the cage for two reasons. One was to show all of EPW that, when pressed, this man was capable of surviving. And that's really the point of this tournament -- survival."
THE SAME COULD BE SAID OF LARRY TACT.
"How so?"
WHO COULD TELL WHICH LARRY TACT WOULD ARRIVE AT KING OF THE CAGE?
"Whether I win or lose, I've made it clear that I come to face the challenge at hand."
YOU WERE THE ONLY COMBATANT TO ESCAPE THE CAGE.
"Yes. I did what needed to be done to give Shane the chance to validate himself and his claims."
SOME WOULD SAY YOU SHOULD HAVE RE-ENTERED TO HELP SHANE.
"And they would be missing the point. Now, everyone sees that Steven Shane is here to dominate, nobody can say otherwise."
THEY CAN QUESTION YOUR EFFORTS.
"No, only my potential, which suits me fine."
EXPLAIN.
"Take Teddy Alexander. What does he know of me? He knows he can catch me off guard in a match with a horde of opposition. He knows that he's yet to beat me in a match without others to shield him. And in this match, with only one other person to protect him from me, there's not much hope for Teddy."
A BOLD STATEMENT. WHY SHOULD WE BELIEVE THIS?
(The shot comes back to one of Tact, hands held behind his back. The wall has a reflective quality, and we see Tact's image reflected back at him as he stares it down, the shadows creeping around it.)
"Let's be real, here. Teddy Alexander is not someone who has done much to me. He claims to have cost me, but like I said, since Ultratitle I've been out of it. And while I credit Teddy for his investment in neck braces, a safe bet their market value is stable... the truth is, those are nothing more than his crutch. This is, at best, a man desperate for attention. Someone who wants so badly to be deemed important, but got shut down before he ever really could get started. Teddy believes if he mouths off to enough people, and threatens to deliver such a fierce blow that they'll need a brace, it's bound to get him attention."
HE DID GET THROUGH THE FIRST ROUND OF THIS TOURNAMENT WITH LIMITED ASSISTANCE.
"Don't be fooled, Teddy Alexander isn't the victim of a bad partner. Who would want to team with a man that's an attention whore, looking to skip the period of proving himself, and jumping right to the glory? He harps on eliminating me from a scramble of a match, but really he's just another loser in that match. Instead of looking at what he could do to improve, he clings to the one thing that will give him a modicum of attention."
YOU SEE NO THREAT IN TEDDY ALEXANDER?
"Teddy can be a threat, but he hasn't faced his insecurities. He admits that he'll ditch Sam Turner this match, which is just repeating the mistake he made last round. The thing is, he's not facing ring slugs anymore. But Teddy's ignorance on how outclassed he is in this match? It's just natural, and he should recognize it and think of how to level the field. Instead, he's doubling down on his ignorance; threatening to put us in braces, with or without help from Turner. Teddy's already put himself on course for another humbling, and that's before Shane or I even lift a finger. Teddy's moves are so telegraphed, we could counter him into submission at this point."
THEN YOU FEEL CONFIDENT YOU HAVE MADE IMPROVEMENTS?
"I'm confident my partner is in this, now, so that helps. I wasn't so sure, prior to last Aggression. As for me? I've yet to show my full potential in this tournament. I haven't had to."
WHAT WILL YOU DO WITH SAM TURNER?
(Tact now sits at the table, a closed magazine in his hands.)
"Sam Turner seems to be a step or two behind Teddy, so he'll get no further than the neck brace-peddling wonder. Again, there's nothing there that Steven Shane and I haven't encountered before. We didn't come into this tournament looking like the most cohesive team. We aren't currently holding Championships to draw people's attention. But, guess what? We've far from lost our instincts, and we're both hungry to get back into the thick of things in EPW. Plus, we're facing one guy who can't figure out he's spinning his wheels trying to taunt everyone he faces into defeat..."
(Tact now holds up the magazine, the cover revealing it to be Playboy.)
"... And another guy who sounds like he'd be stopped in his tracks if we just flash a picture of a DD-breasted girl when the bell rings.
(He tosses the magazine behind him, the pages flapping in midair before slapping on the tiles.)
"Just going off our mentality versus theirs, these guys are going to have their asses handed to them. There are some in EPW who would barely care about a team like this. And then there are others who would try toying with them, to make an example. Obviously, I'm giving them the time of day, and I won't lessen my focus, regardless of what others might do in this situation. I can also guarantee I'm not going to wait for these guys to come to us, or try to escape the cage. My goal here is to have them see the arena lights before they even realize where the cage door is, so they can try to make a break for it."
AND WHERE DOES YOUR CHEMISTRY WITH STEVEN SHANE STAND?
(The shot changes to that of Tact standing, looking at a picture now hanging on the wall. It is of Impulse and Tact, tied-up in the ring at Russian Roulette.)
"Steven Shane seems intent on accusing me of doing EPW the favor of taking him out before his title match with Impulse. If I was Stalker I might be flattered, but I don't need every advantage working my way in order to incapacitate somebody. Still, Steven sees my benefiting directly from his being taken out, and who could say otherwise? Except, well, anyone who subscribes to common logic."
"Let's not adopt from our opposition, and play the fool here, Shane. Dan Ryan could have forced you to take on Impulse. The fact is you weren't up for the challenge, and he knew it. He know when somebody looks out of it, and against Impulse that could get you slaughtered. So he made an executive decision; he made the best of two bad situations. Keep in mind, Steven, I wasn't focused in the slightest on Impulse."
"Teddy Alexander wants to talk about how I've got my sights set on him for revenge -- another bunch of smoke he's got blowing out of his hole. But if he had any idea of EPW history, he'd know Anthology, and then what went down between Copycat and I earlier this year. But he's obviously yet to realize the sh**shows I've had to deal with in my career, much less do something to approach drawing my fury."
(Our view changes to that of Tact sitting again. This time, he's looking directly at us.)
"Take note, Steven, if you're looking to blame someone for taking your shot against Impulse away, you don't have very far to look. Just whip out a mirror, and if it doesn't shatter to pieces, your primary goat will be staring back at you. There's a reason I needed to leave you in the cage; to see if you were back for real, or just wasting mine and the EPW audience's time."
"And anyway... if you think I had something to do with your being utterly embarrassed and victimized, then logically I wouldn't assume you had more fire in you than when you were taken out. Otherwise, how do you help me in this tournament? But I was betting that you did, and I left you in the cage to show EPW we were a threat. Chew on that for a minute, and then thank me later for letting you showcase yourself, and not saying anything when you were given all the credit."
(He laughs, shaking his head, looking at the shadows again.)
YOU PLANNED ALL ALONG TO MAKE STEVEN SHANE THE FOCUS.
"Maybe nobody understood what I was doing, just watching from outside. Sometimes I make decisions that people don't approve of. But in the end, I showed the EPW audience that we're going to give them something to be excited about in this tournament. We're going to add a spark to this thing."
AND YOU BELIEVE YOU WILL FIND YOUR STRENGTH IN THIS.
"I took something of a gamble in Round One, and it paid off. I could have reentered the cage anytime, if I was really concerned, but it wouldn't have made the same impact as Steven Shane showing how much a threat he is."
AND YOUR STRENGTH WENT LARGELY RESERVED.
"Nobody knows how good I can be in King of the Cage, because I've never taken part. I'm still an unknown quantity."
WHAT WILL YOU DO WHEN YOUR OPPOSITION FOCUSES ON YOU?
"It's pick their poison. Whether it's Teddy Alexander and Sam Turner, or any other team in King of the Cage. How can they confidently approach us now? For starters, they don't know what the hell to expect out of us. Will they take us seriously, given the differences between us? Those differences didn't matter in the first round. Do they treat us like a team with an awkward chemistry, and assume we'll work together? In this format, it isn't necessarily assumed you have to work together as much. There's no way to... tactfully... approach us. You have to hedge your bets and bank on how we'll approach a match. But who says we'll even know for sure. And yet, there's something to that."
"Just understand... there are no guarantees with Larry Tact and Steven Shane. Where that leads us... I guess the Empire will find out."
(Tact looks at the camera again, a slight smirk on the edge of his lips.)
"Teddy Alexander... Sam Turner... and the rest of EPW... will all watch in anger, in incredulity, or in awe at how we put the function... in dysfunction."
FADE OUT.
FADE IN.
(The room has changed. An oak roundtable is still only half visible, the rest of the table and room remaining in shadow. Larry Tact is no longer sitting, either. He stands on black and gray tiled floor, wearing a sleeveless white Under Armor shirt, pine-green workout pants, and black shoes. His wavy, thick mane of golden blonde hair still hangs loose to about halfway down his neck. His olive-green eyes are focused on the white wall he faces, back turned to the table and the viewer.
The screen goes black, and a new, soundless message appears in bold white lettering, before returning to our view of Tact.)
YOUR ACTIONS SPOKE VOLUMES AT AGGRESSION.
LARRY TACT: "Really? I don't feel anyone got the point."
YOU SHOWED YOU WERE CAPABLE OF ACCOMPLISHING YOUR GOAL.
"Nobody understood my goals in the match."
YOUR PRIMARY GOAL WAS TO WIN. TO ADVANCE.
"It was... in part. But what I did was something nobody expected. I established a foundation for success."
BY ESCAPING THE CAGE, YOU DID YOUR PART.
"I wasn't just escaping the cage. I showed all of EPW how dangerous Steven Shane and I are."
EXPLAIN YOURSELF.
(As we see Tact again, he now sits at the table, palms open and facing up. He looks across the table, towards the shadows cast onto the other side of the room.)
"Steven Shane entered this tournament as a relative unknown quantity. That isn't to say that he was unknown; it's just that nobody knew what condition he would actually be in. Would this be the Steven Shane who was capable of winning King of the Cage? Would we see the Steven Shane who was prone to tripping over himself?"
STEVEN SHANE PROVED TO BE A DANGEROUS ELEMENT.
"I left him in the cage for two reasons. One was to show all of EPW that, when pressed, this man was capable of surviving. And that's really the point of this tournament -- survival."
THE SAME COULD BE SAID OF LARRY TACT.
"How so?"
WHO COULD TELL WHICH LARRY TACT WOULD ARRIVE AT KING OF THE CAGE?
"Whether I win or lose, I've made it clear that I come to face the challenge at hand."
YOU WERE THE ONLY COMBATANT TO ESCAPE THE CAGE.
"Yes. I did what needed to be done to give Shane the chance to validate himself and his claims."
SOME WOULD SAY YOU SHOULD HAVE RE-ENTERED TO HELP SHANE.
"And they would be missing the point. Now, everyone sees that Steven Shane is here to dominate, nobody can say otherwise."
THEY CAN QUESTION YOUR EFFORTS.
"No, only my potential, which suits me fine."
EXPLAIN.
"Take Teddy Alexander. What does he know of me? He knows he can catch me off guard in a match with a horde of opposition. He knows that he's yet to beat me in a match without others to shield him. And in this match, with only one other person to protect him from me, there's not much hope for Teddy."
A BOLD STATEMENT. WHY SHOULD WE BELIEVE THIS?
(The shot comes back to one of Tact, hands held behind his back. The wall has a reflective quality, and we see Tact's image reflected back at him as he stares it down, the shadows creeping around it.)
"Let's be real, here. Teddy Alexander is not someone who has done much to me. He claims to have cost me, but like I said, since Ultratitle I've been out of it. And while I credit Teddy for his investment in neck braces, a safe bet their market value is stable... the truth is, those are nothing more than his crutch. This is, at best, a man desperate for attention. Someone who wants so badly to be deemed important, but got shut down before he ever really could get started. Teddy believes if he mouths off to enough people, and threatens to deliver such a fierce blow that they'll need a brace, it's bound to get him attention."
HE DID GET THROUGH THE FIRST ROUND OF THIS TOURNAMENT WITH LIMITED ASSISTANCE.
"Don't be fooled, Teddy Alexander isn't the victim of a bad partner. Who would want to team with a man that's an attention whore, looking to skip the period of proving himself, and jumping right to the glory? He harps on eliminating me from a scramble of a match, but really he's just another loser in that match. Instead of looking at what he could do to improve, he clings to the one thing that will give him a modicum of attention."
YOU SEE NO THREAT IN TEDDY ALEXANDER?
"Teddy can be a threat, but he hasn't faced his insecurities. He admits that he'll ditch Sam Turner this match, which is just repeating the mistake he made last round. The thing is, he's not facing ring slugs anymore. But Teddy's ignorance on how outclassed he is in this match? It's just natural, and he should recognize it and think of how to level the field. Instead, he's doubling down on his ignorance; threatening to put us in braces, with or without help from Turner. Teddy's already put himself on course for another humbling, and that's before Shane or I even lift a finger. Teddy's moves are so telegraphed, we could counter him into submission at this point."
THEN YOU FEEL CONFIDENT YOU HAVE MADE IMPROVEMENTS?
"I'm confident my partner is in this, now, so that helps. I wasn't so sure, prior to last Aggression. As for me? I've yet to show my full potential in this tournament. I haven't had to."
WHAT WILL YOU DO WITH SAM TURNER?
(Tact now sits at the table, a closed magazine in his hands.)
"Sam Turner seems to be a step or two behind Teddy, so he'll get no further than the neck brace-peddling wonder. Again, there's nothing there that Steven Shane and I haven't encountered before. We didn't come into this tournament looking like the most cohesive team. We aren't currently holding Championships to draw people's attention. But, guess what? We've far from lost our instincts, and we're both hungry to get back into the thick of things in EPW. Plus, we're facing one guy who can't figure out he's spinning his wheels trying to taunt everyone he faces into defeat..."
(Tact now holds up the magazine, the cover revealing it to be Playboy.)
"... And another guy who sounds like he'd be stopped in his tracks if we just flash a picture of a DD-breasted girl when the bell rings.
(He tosses the magazine behind him, the pages flapping in midair before slapping on the tiles.)
"Just going off our mentality versus theirs, these guys are going to have their asses handed to them. There are some in EPW who would barely care about a team like this. And then there are others who would try toying with them, to make an example. Obviously, I'm giving them the time of day, and I won't lessen my focus, regardless of what others might do in this situation. I can also guarantee I'm not going to wait for these guys to come to us, or try to escape the cage. My goal here is to have them see the arena lights before they even realize where the cage door is, so they can try to make a break for it."
AND WHERE DOES YOUR CHEMISTRY WITH STEVEN SHANE STAND?
(The shot changes to that of Tact standing, looking at a picture now hanging on the wall. It is of Impulse and Tact, tied-up in the ring at Russian Roulette.)
"Steven Shane seems intent on accusing me of doing EPW the favor of taking him out before his title match with Impulse. If I was Stalker I might be flattered, but I don't need every advantage working my way in order to incapacitate somebody. Still, Steven sees my benefiting directly from his being taken out, and who could say otherwise? Except, well, anyone who subscribes to common logic."
"Let's not adopt from our opposition, and play the fool here, Shane. Dan Ryan could have forced you to take on Impulse. The fact is you weren't up for the challenge, and he knew it. He know when somebody looks out of it, and against Impulse that could get you slaughtered. So he made an executive decision; he made the best of two bad situations. Keep in mind, Steven, I wasn't focused in the slightest on Impulse."
"Teddy Alexander wants to talk about how I've got my sights set on him for revenge -- another bunch of smoke he's got blowing out of his hole. But if he had any idea of EPW history, he'd know Anthology, and then what went down between Copycat and I earlier this year. But he's obviously yet to realize the sh**shows I've had to deal with in my career, much less do something to approach drawing my fury."
(Our view changes to that of Tact sitting again. This time, he's looking directly at us.)
"Take note, Steven, if you're looking to blame someone for taking your shot against Impulse away, you don't have very far to look. Just whip out a mirror, and if it doesn't shatter to pieces, your primary goat will be staring back at you. There's a reason I needed to leave you in the cage; to see if you were back for real, or just wasting mine and the EPW audience's time."
"And anyway... if you think I had something to do with your being utterly embarrassed and victimized, then logically I wouldn't assume you had more fire in you than when you were taken out. Otherwise, how do you help me in this tournament? But I was betting that you did, and I left you in the cage to show EPW we were a threat. Chew on that for a minute, and then thank me later for letting you showcase yourself, and not saying anything when you were given all the credit."
(He laughs, shaking his head, looking at the shadows again.)
YOU PLANNED ALL ALONG TO MAKE STEVEN SHANE THE FOCUS.
"Maybe nobody understood what I was doing, just watching from outside. Sometimes I make decisions that people don't approve of. But in the end, I showed the EPW audience that we're going to give them something to be excited about in this tournament. We're going to add a spark to this thing."
AND YOU BELIEVE YOU WILL FIND YOUR STRENGTH IN THIS.
"I took something of a gamble in Round One, and it paid off. I could have reentered the cage anytime, if I was really concerned, but it wouldn't have made the same impact as Steven Shane showing how much a threat he is."
AND YOUR STRENGTH WENT LARGELY RESERVED.
"Nobody knows how good I can be in King of the Cage, because I've never taken part. I'm still an unknown quantity."
WHAT WILL YOU DO WHEN YOUR OPPOSITION FOCUSES ON YOU?
"It's pick their poison. Whether it's Teddy Alexander and Sam Turner, or any other team in King of the Cage. How can they confidently approach us now? For starters, they don't know what the hell to expect out of us. Will they take us seriously, given the differences between us? Those differences didn't matter in the first round. Do they treat us like a team with an awkward chemistry, and assume we'll work together? In this format, it isn't necessarily assumed you have to work together as much. There's no way to... tactfully... approach us. You have to hedge your bets and bank on how we'll approach a match. But who says we'll even know for sure. And yet, there's something to that."
"Just understand... there are no guarantees with Larry Tact and Steven Shane. Where that leads us... I guess the Empire will find out."
(Tact looks at the camera again, a slight smirk on the edge of his lips.)
"Teddy Alexander... Sam Turner... and the rest of EPW... will all watch in anger, in incredulity, or in awe at how we put the function... in dysfunction."
FADE OUT.
fugginVOSS
The REAL Funk U. T-shirt
Re: Interlude, Pt. 2: Your plans are invalid.
[FADE IN: on a fat man wearing a Phoenix Suns jersey over a t-shirt. He’s behind the decks at a radio station, mid-show. The cans are on his head and Nickelback is playing on the airwaves toward the ending of their song as he motions for his guest to be silent. His guest is TEDDY ALEXANDER, who sits there with his own set of cans but their in his hands. He waits for the music to finish before rolling his eyes and putting the cans on his head.]
DJ:
“Welcome back, Phoenix. You’re listening to XTRA 910 with “Filthy” Ron Hubbard, the man from the cupboard, and have I got a guest for you. As promised before Nickelback so rudely interrupted I’ve got Empire Pro Wrestling SUPERSTAR Teddy Alexander here with me LIVE! on XTRA 910. Welcome to the program.”
TEDDY ALEXANDER:
“Thanks for havin’ me, er... Filthy.”
FILTHY HUBBARD:
“Pleasure’s all mine, Teddy. Folks, in case you live under a rock the Empire has come to town with Aggression 70 and the SECOND ROUND of the King of the Cage. Teddy Alexander advanced pretty much alone in the first round and DRAGGED his partner over the cage to advance. That was an amazin’ feat, Teddy.”
[TEDDY guffaws at the man’s amazement.]
TEDDY ALEXANDER:
“Amazin’ was dat I let Oblivion walk his dumb ass out of da Empire dat night. It’s one thing to go missin’ in da weeks leadin’ up to it. But it’s another thin’ to spit in my face in da light of competition. Oblivion had what was comin’ to him.”
FILTHY HUBBARD:
“And Point of View, too, apparently.”
TEDDY ALEXANDER:
“Bravery is just another word for stupid. There’s no bravery in standin’ across da ring from me. There’s one of two things dat happen when you face da Philadelphian Nightmare, Filthy...
“You get knocked da fuck out...
“Oor I break your neck.”
[TEDDY shrugs.]
FILTHY HUBBARD:
“We’re on the drive time, Teddy. So I’ll ask you politely to curb your language.”
TEDDY ALEXANDER:
“Point taken, Filthy. I’ll try to mind my p’s and q’s.”
FILTHY HUBBARD:
“Teddy, you’ve advanced through the first round and you partner from round one has been taken out of the contest and replaced with Sammy Turner Junior. I’m a big fan of Sammy’s.”
TEDDY ALEXANDER:
“Look, a lot of people think they I’m discountin’ what Sammy brings to da table. They think I don’t work well with others. Dat I’m no team player.”
[Snicker.]
TEDDY ALEXANDER:
“Filthy, it was a well known fact dat in da first round Oblivion barely made himself present in our contest. DAT’S not team work. Ignorin’ my phone calls and voice messages... DAT’S not team work. I don’t appreciate bein’ left high and dry, Filthy. So you’ll have to forgive me for bein’ a little distracted by da fact Dan Ryan’s shuffled da deck on me again.
“Do I have a problem with Sammy Turner Junior? If he shows up I don’t. If he turns up and wrestles these two idiots and puts his heart and soul into it I don’t.
“What I have a problem with is if he turns up here in Phoenix and he doesn’t have his game face on. Dat if dat little hick sonofabi- erm.... gun gets distracted by da likes of Steven Shane and da Starbreaker standin’ across from him. Gets distracted by da pretty lights.
“I’ve got no problem with Sammy as long as he turns up on da night. He turns up I will work with him and I will take him to da end of dis tournament.
“But if I even THINK dat he’s not in dis 150% then I’ll drag his sorry ass over da top of da cage just like I did Oblivion’s.”
[Folding his arms across his chest, TEDDY eyeballs FILTHY like he was trying to deliver the message to him.]
FILTHY HUBBARD:
“Speaking of team work, Larry Tact doesn’t think you can work in a tag team with not just Sammy, but with anyone.”
TEDDY ALEXANDER:
“For starts... Larry Tact’s opinion and da facts are two different things. He’d like to tell you I’m pretty good at blindsidin’ people and takin’ them down when they’re lookin’ da other way.”
[TEDDY points out the window before leaning on his elbows and smirking at FILTHY.]
TEDDY ALEXANDER:
“I like to call it opportunity knockin’. I’d also like to call out dat at Black Dawn, even though I eliminated his sorry old ass and outlasted him to da final three of da Television Championship seven-way dance, dat he blindsided me at every opportunity. He double-teamed me at every opportunity. He couldn’t focus on da task at hand and it cost him.
“How did it cost him? It cost him coz he’d focused so hard on takin’ me down da minute dat when he lost his focus for just one second I kicked his dumb face off with da Angerbash and da folded him up like a concertina with da Ragekill Driver. I then pinned him and eliminated him from da race.”
[Runs his thumb across his throat.]
TEDDY ALEXANDER:
“You need to pay attention to me until you hear dat bell. You need your focus on me from start to finish because da minutes you drop your attention... da minute you take your eyes off me... da minute you lose your focus I will capitalise and da last thing you will see if my boot bein’ driven through your smug look.
“Yeah.... Larry defeated me once. I went in over eager and thought dat I could make my name defeatin’ a livin’ legend in da business.
“Now? Now’s different. Since then I’ve destroyed and maimed everythin’ dat walked toward me.
“Aggression 70 will be no different, Filthy.”
[TEDDY leans back and folds his arms across his chest.]
TEDDY ALEXANDER:
“Tact can call me what he wants. He thinks I’m ignorant. He thinks I’m an animal. He thinks I’m so Hell bent in makin’ him and Shane leave Aggression 70 with neck braces on dat I’ll lose my focus on puttin’ their backs on da mat. He thinks I’m so individually focused dat I can’t work as a team. He thinks I’m one dimensional and predictable.
“Those are perfectly relevant observations if you were just lookin’. But dat’s all Larry’s doin’. He’s lookin’ but he’s not SEEIN’.
“He can’t see da forest for da trees because he’s so locked down in his own little world he doesn’t understand how da rest of it goes around anymore.
“He can blame da ULTRATITLE for losin’ his focus. He can blame da toll it took on his body. Or maybe... just maybe... Teddy Alexander is still inside his head. Maybe he can’t get over da fact I cost him his first singles title in his history with dis company? Maybe he just can’t get over da fact dat not just once... but TWICE I’ve kicked his ugly face off his shoulders and he knows dat bad shit happens in threes!”
[TEDDY points a finger into FILTHY’s face.]
TEDDY ALEXANDER:
“I’ll tell you what’s predictable, Larry. Dat’s you spoilin’ your strides when you’ve been destroyed by another Ragekill Driver in front of another crowd.”
FILTHY HUBBARD:
“Tough words, Teddy. But he is teamed with Steven Shane.”
TEDDY ALEXANDER: (sarcastically)
“I’m sure you can’t see it, Filthy, since there’s a desk between us, but I’m shakin’ in my boots.”
[Snicker.]
TEDDY ALEXANDER:
“Seriously. Tact can blow as much smoke up dis guy’s ass as he likes but dat doesn’t mean I should fear him. Dat doesn’t mean Shane’s goin’ to pin me.
“Shane’s said it himself... he Tact can’t even get on da same page. Shane doesn’t think anythin’ of his tag team partner and I’M da one Larry is accusin’ of bein’ unable to work in a team?
“Shane’s obviously got a level head on his shoulders because he doesn’t trust Larry Tact. He doesn’t trust da fact Tact could remain conscious until da end of da contest. Because he WON’T remain conscious. Shane will be left high and dry and I’ll do it to him before Tact can turn and show dat yellow streak up his spine and hightail it before I make an example of him... AGAIN!
“Shane. I’ve got no problem with you. You’re just unlucky. Unlucky you caught me in round two. Dat’s just poor luck and I’m sorry you got dat luck. I’m sorry you got Larry Tact as a tag team partner.
“I’m sorry for what I have to do to you but dis man must move on and you won’t be able to stop him.
“Call me what you like, Shane. If Terrible Teddy is some sort of joke dat’ll just make it even funnier when I wipe dat stupid look off your face with da sole of my boot.
“Sammy, get on da same page as me, man, and we’ll get along just fine. Together, we’ll head to da finale of dis shindig and be crowned as da King of da Cage champions.
“Shit in my backyard, Sammy, and it’s light out for you. Just like those other two mongoloids steppin’ into da ring with us.
“Let da bodies hit da floor.”
FILTHY HUBBARD:
“I’m sorry, Teddy. You can’t keep using that language.”
TEDDY ALEXANDER:
“I’m done with you anyways, fat man.”
[And TEDDY drops his cans on the desk and leaves.]
[FADE to BLACK]
[FADE IN: on a fat man wearing a Phoenix Suns jersey over a t-shirt. He’s behind the decks at a radio station, mid-show. The cans are on his head and Nickelback is playing on the airwaves toward the ending of their song as he motions for his guest to be silent. His guest is TEDDY ALEXANDER, who sits there with his own set of cans but their in his hands. He waits for the music to finish before rolling his eyes and putting the cans on his head.]
DJ:
“Welcome back, Phoenix. You’re listening to XTRA 910 with “Filthy” Ron Hubbard, the man from the cupboard, and have I got a guest for you. As promised before Nickelback so rudely interrupted I’ve got Empire Pro Wrestling SUPERSTAR Teddy Alexander here with me LIVE! on XTRA 910. Welcome to the program.”
TEDDY ALEXANDER:
“Thanks for havin’ me, er... Filthy.”
FILTHY HUBBARD:
“Pleasure’s all mine, Teddy. Folks, in case you live under a rock the Empire has come to town with Aggression 70 and the SECOND ROUND of the King of the Cage. Teddy Alexander advanced pretty much alone in the first round and DRAGGED his partner over the cage to advance. That was an amazin’ feat, Teddy.”
[TEDDY guffaws at the man’s amazement.]
TEDDY ALEXANDER:
“Amazin’ was dat I let Oblivion walk his dumb ass out of da Empire dat night. It’s one thing to go missin’ in da weeks leadin’ up to it. But it’s another thin’ to spit in my face in da light of competition. Oblivion had what was comin’ to him.”
FILTHY HUBBARD:
“And Point of View, too, apparently.”
TEDDY ALEXANDER:
“Bravery is just another word for stupid. There’s no bravery in standin’ across da ring from me. There’s one of two things dat happen when you face da Philadelphian Nightmare, Filthy...
“You get knocked da fuck out...
“Oor I break your neck.”
[TEDDY shrugs.]
FILTHY HUBBARD:
“We’re on the drive time, Teddy. So I’ll ask you politely to curb your language.”
TEDDY ALEXANDER:
“Point taken, Filthy. I’ll try to mind my p’s and q’s.”
FILTHY HUBBARD:
“Teddy, you’ve advanced through the first round and you partner from round one has been taken out of the contest and replaced with Sammy Turner Junior. I’m a big fan of Sammy’s.”
TEDDY ALEXANDER:
“Look, a lot of people think they I’m discountin’ what Sammy brings to da table. They think I don’t work well with others. Dat I’m no team player.”
[Snicker.]
TEDDY ALEXANDER:
“Filthy, it was a well known fact dat in da first round Oblivion barely made himself present in our contest. DAT’S not team work. Ignorin’ my phone calls and voice messages... DAT’S not team work. I don’t appreciate bein’ left high and dry, Filthy. So you’ll have to forgive me for bein’ a little distracted by da fact Dan Ryan’s shuffled da deck on me again.
“Do I have a problem with Sammy Turner Junior? If he shows up I don’t. If he turns up and wrestles these two idiots and puts his heart and soul into it I don’t.
“What I have a problem with is if he turns up here in Phoenix and he doesn’t have his game face on. Dat if dat little hick sonofabi- erm.... gun gets distracted by da likes of Steven Shane and da Starbreaker standin’ across from him. Gets distracted by da pretty lights.
“I’ve got no problem with Sammy as long as he turns up on da night. He turns up I will work with him and I will take him to da end of dis tournament.
“But if I even THINK dat he’s not in dis 150% then I’ll drag his sorry ass over da top of da cage just like I did Oblivion’s.”
[Folding his arms across his chest, TEDDY eyeballs FILTHY like he was trying to deliver the message to him.]
FILTHY HUBBARD:
“Speaking of team work, Larry Tact doesn’t think you can work in a tag team with not just Sammy, but with anyone.”
TEDDY ALEXANDER:
“For starts... Larry Tact’s opinion and da facts are two different things. He’d like to tell you I’m pretty good at blindsidin’ people and takin’ them down when they’re lookin’ da other way.”
[TEDDY points out the window before leaning on his elbows and smirking at FILTHY.]
TEDDY ALEXANDER:
“I like to call it opportunity knockin’. I’d also like to call out dat at Black Dawn, even though I eliminated his sorry old ass and outlasted him to da final three of da Television Championship seven-way dance, dat he blindsided me at every opportunity. He double-teamed me at every opportunity. He couldn’t focus on da task at hand and it cost him.
“How did it cost him? It cost him coz he’d focused so hard on takin’ me down da minute dat when he lost his focus for just one second I kicked his dumb face off with da Angerbash and da folded him up like a concertina with da Ragekill Driver. I then pinned him and eliminated him from da race.”
[Runs his thumb across his throat.]
TEDDY ALEXANDER:
“You need to pay attention to me until you hear dat bell. You need your focus on me from start to finish because da minutes you drop your attention... da minute you take your eyes off me... da minute you lose your focus I will capitalise and da last thing you will see if my boot bein’ driven through your smug look.
“Yeah.... Larry defeated me once. I went in over eager and thought dat I could make my name defeatin’ a livin’ legend in da business.
“Now? Now’s different. Since then I’ve destroyed and maimed everythin’ dat walked toward me.
“Aggression 70 will be no different, Filthy.”
[TEDDY leans back and folds his arms across his chest.]
TEDDY ALEXANDER:
“Tact can call me what he wants. He thinks I’m ignorant. He thinks I’m an animal. He thinks I’m so Hell bent in makin’ him and Shane leave Aggression 70 with neck braces on dat I’ll lose my focus on puttin’ their backs on da mat. He thinks I’m so individually focused dat I can’t work as a team. He thinks I’m one dimensional and predictable.
“Those are perfectly relevant observations if you were just lookin’. But dat’s all Larry’s doin’. He’s lookin’ but he’s not SEEIN’.
“He can’t see da forest for da trees because he’s so locked down in his own little world he doesn’t understand how da rest of it goes around anymore.
“He can blame da ULTRATITLE for losin’ his focus. He can blame da toll it took on his body. Or maybe... just maybe... Teddy Alexander is still inside his head. Maybe he can’t get over da fact I cost him his first singles title in his history with dis company? Maybe he just can’t get over da fact dat not just once... but TWICE I’ve kicked his ugly face off his shoulders and he knows dat bad shit happens in threes!”
[TEDDY points a finger into FILTHY’s face.]
TEDDY ALEXANDER:
“I’ll tell you what’s predictable, Larry. Dat’s you spoilin’ your strides when you’ve been destroyed by another Ragekill Driver in front of another crowd.”
FILTHY HUBBARD:
“Tough words, Teddy. But he is teamed with Steven Shane.”
TEDDY ALEXANDER: (sarcastically)
“I’m sure you can’t see it, Filthy, since there’s a desk between us, but I’m shakin’ in my boots.”
[Snicker.]
TEDDY ALEXANDER:
“Seriously. Tact can blow as much smoke up dis guy’s ass as he likes but dat doesn’t mean I should fear him. Dat doesn’t mean Shane’s goin’ to pin me.
“Shane’s said it himself... he Tact can’t even get on da same page. Shane doesn’t think anythin’ of his tag team partner and I’M da one Larry is accusin’ of bein’ unable to work in a team?
“Shane’s obviously got a level head on his shoulders because he doesn’t trust Larry Tact. He doesn’t trust da fact Tact could remain conscious until da end of da contest. Because he WON’T remain conscious. Shane will be left high and dry and I’ll do it to him before Tact can turn and show dat yellow streak up his spine and hightail it before I make an example of him... AGAIN!
“Shane. I’ve got no problem with you. You’re just unlucky. Unlucky you caught me in round two. Dat’s just poor luck and I’m sorry you got dat luck. I’m sorry you got Larry Tact as a tag team partner.
“I’m sorry for what I have to do to you but dis man must move on and you won’t be able to stop him.
“Call me what you like, Shane. If Terrible Teddy is some sort of joke dat’ll just make it even funnier when I wipe dat stupid look off your face with da sole of my boot.
“Sammy, get on da same page as me, man, and we’ll get along just fine. Together, we’ll head to da finale of dis shindig and be crowned as da King of da Cage champions.
“Shit in my backyard, Sammy, and it’s light out for you. Just like those other two mongoloids steppin’ into da ring with us.
“Let da bodies hit da floor.”
FILTHY HUBBARD:
“I’m sorry, Teddy. You can’t keep using that language.”
TEDDY ALEXANDER:
“I’m done with you anyways, fat man.”
[And TEDDY drops his cans on the desk and leaves.]
[FADE to BLACK]
Starbreaker
Member
Interlude, Pt. 3: Paying tribute.
FADE IN.
(We are back in the Room. This time, only a cone of light shines down. It surrounds Larry Tact, who stands in black pants that mix with the shadows around him, and a sleeveless pink shirt. His hair remains hanging loose as before, and he looks up towards the light, away from our view.)
LT: “Do you know that every room has a key? Some keys are literal and obvious; others are less distinct; and still more can be vague and uncertain. But there are different keys for different rooms.”
“Likewise, there are keys for people, too. We need to search for our keys, and unlock those rooms within us. Some are hidden, others are just difficult to open. But each time we unlock a new room, we find something about ourselves. It may be good, bad, or neutral. We don’t always know what it means, but there it is, inside of us.”
(A flash-cut changes the scene to Tact standing with his arms crossed, looking at us.)
“Teddy, one of many things that separate us, and will help draw the line between yours and Sam Turner’s defeat… and mine and Steven’s victory… is that we see this whole concept of King of the Cage so very differently.”
“You mentioned how you want to be on the same page as Sam… how you want him to come prepared… or you’ll take him over the cage with you. Your uncertainty is clear, and your anxiety is creeping up on you, like shadows, ready to cast doubt over your entire plan.”
“I don’t have those worries. Because you’re absolutely correct. Steven Shane and I aren’t trustworthy of each other. We’re anything but the best of friends. We aren’t on the same page. And we don’t have a set idea of how we’re going to operate in our match.”
“What we are is… honest. We’re not pretending to like each other, or claim we’ll find cohesion as a unit. But what we do have is an understanding of what we’re capable of. We know how much of a force we are. And King of the Cage endears itself to chaos, and a few question marks never hurt chaos. We’re thriving in this.”
“I’m glad you relish your great accomplishment in pinning me. In truth, it’s happened before, but not more than the times I’ve gotten the better of people in the end. And Teddy, all you and Sam Turner are going to find out this round, is that when you look at me, Steven Shane will show you how to REALLY kick someone’s head off. And you’ll find a great use for those neck braces.”
“But if you look at Shane, and try to take him down? Well, I don’t have to tell you how it feels to face the Starbreaker, now do I? But you’ll feel it again, anyway, whether you want it or not.”
(Another flash-cut, this time Tact is standing looking at his palms, open and facing him.)
“You also forgot… I said I had TWO reasons for why I left Shane in the cage. But I only mentioned one of them. The other reason is… I let him have his time. He had his fun, and showed how good he can be.”
“This round, that ends. Because he won’t have the chance to do it all. This time, I’m going to unleash a tactful surrender to you, Teddy, and to you, Sam. Quite frankly, it’s been a while since I really beat someone into submission… and I want to be the one in our match to give the King of the Cage its pound of flesh, in Round Two. So while Steven Shane will do his part, and that’s all fine and well…”
(He stares the camera, deadpan.)
“The humbling will be sealed with a Tactful Surrender… and to all a good night.”
FADE OUT.
FADE IN.
(We are back in the Room. This time, only a cone of light shines down. It surrounds Larry Tact, who stands in black pants that mix with the shadows around him, and a sleeveless pink shirt. His hair remains hanging loose as before, and he looks up towards the light, away from our view.)
LT: “Do you know that every room has a key? Some keys are literal and obvious; others are less distinct; and still more can be vague and uncertain. But there are different keys for different rooms.”
“Likewise, there are keys for people, too. We need to search for our keys, and unlock those rooms within us. Some are hidden, others are just difficult to open. But each time we unlock a new room, we find something about ourselves. It may be good, bad, or neutral. We don’t always know what it means, but there it is, inside of us.”
(A flash-cut changes the scene to Tact standing with his arms crossed, looking at us.)
“Teddy, one of many things that separate us, and will help draw the line between yours and Sam Turner’s defeat… and mine and Steven’s victory… is that we see this whole concept of King of the Cage so very differently.”
“You mentioned how you want to be on the same page as Sam… how you want him to come prepared… or you’ll take him over the cage with you. Your uncertainty is clear, and your anxiety is creeping up on you, like shadows, ready to cast doubt over your entire plan.”
“I don’t have those worries. Because you’re absolutely correct. Steven Shane and I aren’t trustworthy of each other. We’re anything but the best of friends. We aren’t on the same page. And we don’t have a set idea of how we’re going to operate in our match.”
“What we are is… honest. We’re not pretending to like each other, or claim we’ll find cohesion as a unit. But what we do have is an understanding of what we’re capable of. We know how much of a force we are. And King of the Cage endears itself to chaos, and a few question marks never hurt chaos. We’re thriving in this.”
“I’m glad you relish your great accomplishment in pinning me. In truth, it’s happened before, but not more than the times I’ve gotten the better of people in the end. And Teddy, all you and Sam Turner are going to find out this round, is that when you look at me, Steven Shane will show you how to REALLY kick someone’s head off. And you’ll find a great use for those neck braces.”
“But if you look at Shane, and try to take him down? Well, I don’t have to tell you how it feels to face the Starbreaker, now do I? But you’ll feel it again, anyway, whether you want it or not.”
(Another flash-cut, this time Tact is standing looking at his palms, open and facing him.)
“You also forgot… I said I had TWO reasons for why I left Shane in the cage. But I only mentioned one of them. The other reason is… I let him have his time. He had his fun, and showed how good he can be.”
“This round, that ends. Because he won’t have the chance to do it all. This time, I’m going to unleash a tactful surrender to you, Teddy, and to you, Sam. Quite frankly, it’s been a while since I really beat someone into submission… and I want to be the one in our match to give the King of the Cage its pound of flesh, in Round Two. So while Steven Shane will do his part, and that’s all fine and well…”
(He stares the camera, deadpan.)
“The humbling will be sealed with a Tactful Surrender… and to all a good night.”
FADE OUT.