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AGGRESSION 71: Malcolm Joseph-Jones v. Cameron Cruise

brusch

Main Event Caliber
Joined
Apr 16, 2012
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St. Louis, MO
“I guess Dan wanted to throw me a softball for my solo debut, huh.”

(The camera opens in a well-lit, sparsely populated Denny’s restaurant. Malcolm Joseph-Jones sits at a table with four breakfast items in front of him; bacon, grits, hash browns, and egg whites, one of many different Grand Slam options. He’s wearing a white dress shirt with the sleeves rolled up, his browline glasses, and has a green napkin tucked into his shirt. Fork and knife are in hand, as he voraciously works his way through his meal while speaking.)

MJ2: “Now I can guess what you’re thinkin. Hey MJ2, what softball? That’s not Aaron Jones printed next to your name, that’s CAMERON CRUISE! The Grand Slamma himself!”

(Malcolm takes a hearty bite of his hash browns. Flecks of food fly here and there as he Joey Chestnut-chews and speaks.)

MJ2: “First off, hell yeah it’s not Aaron Jones. Aaron Jones…” (Malcolm puts his hand near the ground.) “…is right about here. I’m…” (Malcolm reaches his hand above his head.) “…right about here. People are going to see The First destroy that kid and they’ll be all ‘yeahhhhh, First is a fucking God among men’, but the fact is I could count on one finger the number of dudes in EPW that Aaron Jones could beat in a wrestling ring. That one finger is Pat Jones. And even then, I have my doubts.

Dan’s a smart man. He knows what a waste of time that would be, not just for me, but for the world. The whole world wants - hell, the whole world NEEDS to see the greatest damn new thing in the world, wrestling against people with some brand recognition, son; known quantities that can be that measuring stick so they can see just how damn good I am by comparison.

Know your audience, am I right?

So who are his options? Can’t be The First. Stage ain’t big enough - not yet. That match has Pay-Per-View Record-Setting Main Event written all over it, and the fact is I would embarrass him and EPW by extension if I faced him now. What kind of suspense, hell, what kind of MONEY can EPW make if MJ2 destroys its champion out of nowhere? I get it, and that’s exactly why Dan put First as far the hell away from me as he can for the time being.

Adrian Willard? Rich Mahogany? Please. Not in my league. Not in my zip code. Let them do their own thing, let them mess around for a bit. Destroying them is pointless.

The rest of the gold in the company’s wrapped up in the damn tag tournament right now. But Cameron Cruise? Cameron Cruise…well there’s a damn perfect solution for you, isn’t it?”

(A Hispanic waitress comes by and refills his coffee. Malcolm replies with a “thanks, sugar”. As she walks away, he stares at her backside without even a hint of subtlety.)

MJ2: “Cameron’s famous, right? Company man. Earned a few belts, sold a few t-shirts as Joey Melton’s bitch. Keeps sticking around the company despite the fact that everyone in the company shits on him, hard. It’s great, it’s a real cute deal he’s got goin. Maybe lets him get a few high fives from little kids, maybe lets him bag a few horse-faced saggy-tit Twos who just love the ‘hard work’ and the ‘dedication’ and the whole ‘VENGEANCE WILL BE MINE AGAINST LITERALLY EVERYONE IN THE WORLD ALL AT ONCE BECAUSE HOLY BALONEY, EVERYONE KEEPS GETTING ONE OVER ON ME’ thing.

For all that, he’s earned shots. Lots of em! He’s a main-eventer now, a guy with a real claim to the world title and all the anger in the world.

...Softball.”

(Malcolm grins as he dabs his mouth with the napkin. He leans in a little closer to the camera.)

MJ2: “I’m going to let you in on a little secret, buddy.

Your run? Your titles, your fame, the name brand that Cameron Cruise has become? Lies.

All of it.

The money that you’re makin, the clothes that you’re wearin, the dozens of accolades I know you’ve got locked and loaded to spit my way? It’s all led up to this. It’s all led to this moment, right when you’re at a supposed ‘pinnacle of your powers’; the moment when your house of cards gets OBLITERATED by the most literal goddamn bulldozer in all of professional wrestling.

Think about it for a minute. You’ve been around here for what - 8 years, something like that? If it seriously takes me 8 goddamn years to earn a world title, and after all that it ends up being the most comically short reign ever, you can just go ahead and sign my release papers for me. Your world title is a joke. An asterisk. But, because of it, you get to have the glorious title of ‘Mr. Grand Slam’.

And that’s the title they want you to have.”

(Malcolm’s prom king douchebag smirk is back as he cleans his plate, dropping his napkin on the table. The check arrives, and after patting the waitress on the ass and winking, he half-lazily tosses a wad of singles on the table as he gets up to leave.)

MJ2: “They want you to have it because EPW understands something about makin money. Who makes the better future champion: Mr. Grand Slam Asterisk who took 8 years to get a whiff of the world title and has been thrown under bus after bus and keeps coming back for more like a jackass out of some sort of misguided loyalty and VENGEANCE~? Or the stud, the stallion, the man who is pissed off for greatness because he won’t accept the mediocrity surrounding him, and the man who’s about to bust a wrecking ball-sized hole in the farce that is the Cameron Cruise Legacy?

I’m the present AND the future of EPW, Cameron. Dan Ryan knows it. Your career? It’s about to get a shiny new coat of ‘what the hell did I do with my life’.

And THAT’S a Reality Check that you just…won’t…LIKE!”

(Malcolm bursts out laughing as he exists the restaurant. FTB.)
 
Last edited:

TSiegel

I spoil things.
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Don't you got an episode of Sponge Bob to watch??

"Mister Grand Slam."

(Fadein, Cameron Cruise in front of an EPW backdrop, dressed in a white sports coat and slacks, with a blue undershirt and matching Anarchy-style sunglasses.)

CRUISE: "Mister Grand Slam...Cameron Cruise".

It does have a nice little ring to it, when I think about it.

MISTER...Cameron Cruise.

Nevermind men like "Triple X" Sean Stevens, who calls himself "The King"; Rezin used to call himself Erik Black, who monikered himself as "The Escape Artist".

You could even forget about names like, "The Marathon Man" Impulse or Randall Knox, if you will. I could do this and list 'em all day, hell, I'm pretty sure some elder woman who showed up last week wearing a shirt that said "who needs pants??" even called The First "Barbara Ann" at some point, however, apparently "Barbara Ann" was a bit of a prostitute in her day too, but spent too much time making farm animal balloons in awkward situations.

Who knew some kid would take a balloon twisted into the shape of a Giraffe getting railed by a poodle??

Not myself of course, but then again it doesn't surprise me either, nothing The First does surprises me anymore, which is why I tried to pull his cowardly-lion-acting-ass back in to finish it like a man, the way the World Champion SHOULD, and faced the fire.

Call me crazy, but I'd rather go down fighting, knowing that I still have one title I can defend, than to sit there and make excuses for things undone, especially since I was competing in a tournament that I nearly won LAST YEAR...and it was ALSO with a partner that didn't much care for me either.

And that's fine too, because when you're the First, and it comes to showing why you're the World Champion and have to TEAM with another guy...

(Mocks the fairytale, roll of the tongue and all.)

EYE...am the King...of the FOORRRRREEESSSTTT!!!...except when I can go hide by any other technical means, and then it's "Screw you, we're gonna burn you at the stake!!"

But that's okay folks, because now that that's done, I can narrow the one focus back to where it SHOULD be, which is getting the Empire Pro Wrestling World Heavyweight Championship back.

Not that I ever REALLY had it, but that's what is going to make this next journey so much the sweeter.

And it starts this week, against....(Cruise reaches into his pocket, pulling out the promoted marquee for Aggression 71.)

Malcom...Joseph-Jones.

(Cruise looks off to the side, at no one in particular, balling up the paper and chucking it.)

This is a joke, right??

I mean, don't get me wrong...I've never really been one to argue, because at the end of the day, it's already contracted to happen...but who the FUCK is that??

People know who Aaron Jones is, his lack of skills compared to others may be evident, even if he did kinda roll with Copycat for awhile....but at least they know HIS name.

I'm paired up with a cat...no pun intended...that promotes himself with TWO first names??

(Faces the camera again.)

Hey kid...if you're looking for a job, all you had to do was just call up Mike Mularkey in Jacksonville, I'm sure they could find something for ya, if you get what I'm tryin' to say.

The world isn't asking for a "waste of time", as you say...they wouldn't bother to begin with if they did, which is why Aaron Jones isn't for naught; at least the guy makes the EFFORT.

But you??

You're the latest "Scheme" waiting to make a name for himself in this business, the latest thing that thinks more of himself than what he is, and that's fine, that's what you do and you're not doing any better than "The Messiah" Sebastian Dodd or "Simply Wrestling" Andrew Rossi did either.

But Dan Ryan's made his money in Empire Pro based on good decision-making, judgement of talent and skill, and naturally...brash bold-faced aggression against an opponent.

And so far with you...as far as I'm concerned, two out of three ain't bad.

Now, just because you THINK you know me, and what I'm about...allow me to burst your bubble...SON.

You'd be better off embarrassing yourself with pissing your pants than to get a title shot this soon, because the fact is that you're not READY. Hell, Aaron Jones isn't ready and Dan Ryan knows that, which is why he didn't put the title on the line to begin with.

Other than that, it's simple logic kid. You and Aaron just lost in the tournament, and even if by proxy, so did First and myself.

Last I checked, two and two still equaled four; if First is going to have an opponent, at Aggression 71, then so am I. Unfortunately for me...I get some guy named Malcolm-Jamal Warner.

Cruise quickly holds up a finger)

Wait a sec...that's Theo Huxtable from "The Cosby Show".

See there, Marvin-Simon and Theodore?? Making mistakes already.

Wait...that's two-thirds of animated chipmunks, so that can't be right either.

(Cruise shrugs his shoulders)

Well, whatever it is, Malcolm-In-The-Middle, it doesn't matter much to me if I get your name wrong, because it's not important enough for me to get it right; what IS important, is that you show up to the ring and give me what you think you got is enough to get the decision.

Which...in case you haven't been paying attention lately, is gonna need to be a hell of a lot.

You WOULD be one to face Adrian or Rich, but outside of the fact that you're too proud to put the work in, you'd be right down there in the trenches with the rest of us.

Which is why I could give a shit about what your name is, Mason-Dixon Line, because you want more things handed to you than what you're willing to work for.

Think about it, "Buddy".

I'm a "company man" because I've busted my ass to receive the accolades I've been given and awarded. I didn't just EARN a few belts, kid; I won ALL OF THEM, sometimes multiple times, at that.

I didn't just "sell a few t-shirts" while traveling around the world doing what I do best; to honest...

(Cruise chuckles)

I GOT RICH, BITCH!!

And it wasn't the easy way, either. No, I did the "Boy Scout Way" and held on to it, invested it properly and produced dividends more than you can even imagine.

It's good that you call me Joey Melton's Bitch because were he even around to HEAR you say that...he'd have you on all fours barking like a dog before you know it.

Because THAT is how I'm respected around here, Mary-Lou.

I never asked for people to kiss my feet, or for women to bend over at the drop of a fork, like you seemingly like to do; that's not how things work around here.

Joey Melton can crack jokes here and there, because he knows I've earned the respect I've worked for over the years.

BEATING him does that for you, ya know.

Doing things that no other man in the company EVER HAS...will do that for you.

Not to mention will it help garner the Hall of Fame when I DO decide to hang it up, but I'm not looking to quit anytime soon.

But I'm glad you're bitter about my career, Mocking Bird, because at this point...I'm not.

I've been in Empire Pro since the BEGINNING, kid, and the fact that I ran the Gauntlet of Championships is astonishing to some--no--MOST people, in 8 years, that watch on a weekly basis. I think that's a fair assessment, no?? Now, was it MY fault, that I lost the one title I've had my eye on for so long in less than an hour after I won it??

'Course not, I was blindsided and cheated out of it.

But as I've said before...I'll fix that, starting at Aggression 71.

You know what a Grand Slam is, right, Mud-Butt?? By any version you can think of, anyone whose anyone will tell you first, that it's a reference to baseball.

A solo home run means you did something cool...but it only draws ire from people once.

So you bring forth something to stand out, something that supports you, and you do it again.

Then you add another, and then more people notice, when you do it a third time.

Load the bases...and THEN try it again, when it's nearly impossible to accomplish.

EVERYONE looks then, Mandy-Lynn, EVERYBODY.

Including jerks who don't know their place like you, all the way up to men who HAVE paid their dues, to men like Marcus Westcott and Joey Melton, men who HAVE made the Hall of Fame.

All of 'em, off the proverbial toilet, just to see the show.

You're a turd, McGruff, and I'm going to flush you down that same toilet, and forget about you the second thereafter.

THAT’S a Reality Check that you won't like...but I promise you, after what I've been through...

You're gonna get it, and a whole lot more.

(Cameron Cruise puts his hands on his hips and smiles, as he walks out.)

Mister Grand Slam...MISTER...Grand Slam....mis-TER Grand Slam....

FADEOUT
 

brusch

Main Event Caliber
Joined
Apr 16, 2012
Messages
836
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Location
St. Louis, MO
Re: Don't you got an episode of Sponge Bob to watch??

“Oh, Cameron, Cameron, Cameron…”

(The camera opens to Malcolm Joseph-Jones, seated at a leg extension machine in a Gold’s Gym. He is wearing a Millsaps College Athletic Department tank top, black gym shorts, a brand new pair of Nike Air Max shoes that look fresh out of the box, and protective sports glasses. A wry smile and a slight chuckle, he is casually using the machine, moving stacks of black bars in the background with each extension as he speaks.)

MJ2: “You really don’t know what’s coming at Aggression 71, do you? Not that I really expected anythin different outta you. Let’s just say, I’ve been talkin to the boys in the back – you’re not exactly known for your ‘field awareness’, if you know what I mean.

You got your panties all in a bunch because EFFORT IS THE BEST~ and I WORK ALL THE TIME AND SO DOES AARON JONES AND YOU DON’T~ so YOU STINK~!”

(Malcolm flexes his bulging right bicep and points to it.)

MJ2: “That didn’t come overnight.”

(Malcolm raises his shirt, revealing his almost comically muscular abs.)

MJ2: “Neither did these. I’m in here 5 nights a week, son. Workin my ass off, liftin, runnin, playin ball, whatever I can do. I probably spend more time here than I do in my own house. Why do you think that is, Cameron?

I promise, the honeys on the treadmill are just the icing on the cake.

I’m in here workin it constantly because I’ve done it all my life. It’s how I became captain of the football team in high school and college. It’s why my name is gold in Jackson, Mississippi, where I set every athletic record worth a damn at Millsaps and where they STILL make money sellin Joseph-Jones jerseys.

It’s why I can throw one of the biggest names in EPW off a cage and through a table and not even break a sweat.

So don’t come to me on some white horse, sayin that you are Mr. Effort and Mr. EPW and Mr. Grand Slam because of ALL THIS WORK YOU DO THAT I DON’T~! You don’t have a clue what you’re sayin when you do.”

(Malcolm picks up a bottle of purple Gatorade on a table nearby and takes a swig as he continues to do leg extensions.)

MJ2: “Speaking of the big EPW names, I heard somethin real interestin the other day. Impulse, one of those cats who kicked your teeth in at King of the Cage and made you look like a fool? He said that whether it was him and Stevens or you and First in the semifinal, it would be four of the top 6 wrestlers in the company, some bullshit like that.

Guess what, ‘Number 6’? Your stock is fallin. Fast.

Cheap jokes about my name may make the 8 year olds laugh they little asses off, but they ain’t worth a damn to anyone at the top of this game. Same with sayin ‘I’M RICH, BITCH!’. Take it from me: you ain’t hood enough to pull that shit off. It’s why I don’t say shit like ‘Cameron’s Cruisin For A Bruisin!’ with a wink and a smile at the camera. If I did, I would look like the same half-assin, no-classin, stupid son of a bitch who can’t take a hint that the jig is up on his silly little cup of coffee near the top of the food chain as you.

You’re bringin a knife to a gunfight, Cameron. And you ain’t hearin none of it, either. I bet you watch this and you laugh to yourself again, and keep on with the self-comfort that ‘Naw, this dude is just like all the other big talkers who came for a month and then left.’ NEWS FLASH, DUMMY! I’m here to stay. I’m not stoppin til I’m top billin, and after that, you better believe I’m makin sure that mistakes like Cameron-Cruise-For-The-World-Title never happen again.”

(Malcolm steps off the machine and starts to towel off. He continues to grin, slightly raising his eyebrow as he stretches his arms and back.)

MJ2: “Best case scenario for you, Cameron? I beat you so thoroughly, so decisively, that it forces you into retirement. You’ll still have that Grand Slam sham that you hold onto like a security blanket, you’ll have all the memories that the folks here want you to have so badly. Hell, maybe they’ll even give you yet ANOTHER Atta Boy and put you in the EPW Hall Of Fame. Frankly, when I’m done with you at Aggression 71? When I mangle you, break you, finish you and pin you?

That’s all you’re going to have to look forward to.”

(Malcolm moves to a bench press as the camera fades to black.)
 
Last edited:

TSiegel

I spoil things.
Joined
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Age
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"Mastiff, what makes you think you can intimidate me?? Is it the few inches of height or weight on me that's got yourself played up to be any different than anyone else who signed an Empire Pro Wrestling contract??"

(Fadein, Cameron Cruise in front of a white Empire Pro Wrestling backdrop, Cruise in black slacks and coat, with a white undershirt.)

CRUISE: Or maybe you're hard up on trying to be just like the kid from the stupid Jersey show, un-funny, but asking for a beating because he keeps showing off his abs...either way, I could careless myself because at the end of the day, the contract is still signed.

At Aggression 71, you get to try your hand at making it look easy in what two of the top wrestlers in this business had the DEVIL OF A TIME getting done.

(Camera cuts in temporarily on Cruise)

And I get a chance to vent my frustrations and it comes out at your expense.

You think I don't know what's standing across from me at '71, and that's okay, because that's how I WANT you to take it. After all, same story, different lyrics, as far as I'm concerned for the last EVER of my career.

You're taller.

You're bigger.

You're badder.

You're heavier.

You're more sarcastic or arrogant.

You're younger and more agile or you know how to do the latest rear-naked choke-type submission, the fact is it's somehow going to MAKE YOU BETTER THAN ME.

Then do me a favor and explain to me why that out of EVERYONE EVER in Empire Pro...no matter how long it took to accomplish, that EYE am the first Grand Slam winner??

Never mind the fact that it lasted five minutes, the fact is that my becoming World Heavyweight Champion had more people turn heads than when The First did it, or Marcus Westcott or Christian Sands, you name it, the fact is that despite WHAT YOU THINK OF ME.

At this place and time, I'm standing here better than YOU.

I've done it time and time again and I did it during the Ultratitle tournament as well.

(Camera cuts back in again)

CRUISE: Yep, I went there.

I went there and I also beat a man the likes of you; seven feet tall. Over three hundred pounds. Spike Saunders was his name and the fact is that I went into that match being told I never stood a chance, hell, I was told people were betting against me in the opening round against a guy who had even LESS credibility than you...and I defied the odds then.

So, I could careless if you think my 'field awareness' is lacking, the fact is that I'm still standing here, a man who was ROBBED of another chance to compete for the World Heavyweight Championship because my "partner", was too afraid to face the challenge of defeating two men inside a cage, much less the talent and skill level of that of Sean Stevens and Randall Knox.

I don't care how often you lift weights or how big your muscles are, Mickey, because while you're sitting there lifting weights and fist-pumping to some trip-hop music that gets your adrenaline running to show it off for girls who have less of a brain than that of which is found in Lindsay Lohan or Paris Hilton.

Having "honeys on the treadmill" is the end-all-be-all of the reason of my career, Monkey-Turd. Hell, if I was into all that, I could quit this business right now and make a bundle just running the Dangle Brothers Bar & Grill with Jared Wells and have more women packing that place than you'd ever see in your life.

That's not confidence talking that's LEGITIMACY.

That DAMN BASTARD, when he has a gem on his hands, he knows it.

Kinda like he says "When life gives you lemons, you go get Daddy a jack 'n' coke."

"What's that mean??" You might say.

Why ask why, Marty?? Just get 'em a Jack 'n' coke and enjoy the party.

So what if you got records in high school an' college. I can guarantee you that those records you set there are records and then some I already set elsewhere BEFORE YOU and therefore…ain’t shit.

I say this because despite what Sean Stevens, The First, Anarky, and everyone else that has made something in this company says…I am Mister Grand Slam, which is basically a synonym for the fact that after all the time I’ve been in this business, all the “Shitting on” that I’ve endured…

Hell, you think “Cruisin’ for a Bruisin’” is new??

Shawn Hart started that garbage, and just WHERE…OH WHERE…is the…ahem…“Prime Minister of Getting’ Sinister”??

Gone.

Never heard from again.

(Camera cuts in again)

I AM “Mr. Effort”.

I AM “Mr. EPW”.

Stalker beat up on Rocko Daymon, Impulse, Ice Tre and lord knows who else, but got put in his place when he stepped to ME.

Joey Melton accused me of partaking in the KKK after I won the Intercontinental Championship, and I beat him too.

Sean Stevens managed to have MY OWN GROUP TURN AGAINST ME….the same group mind you, that RULED THE WORLD….and I still stand here, despite what he says to everyone else…scaring the shit out of him because he can’t put me down as easy as he has with The First in the past.

People think I’m scared because Adrian Willard managed to win the Empire Pro TV title from me, but the fact is that none of that bothers me.

Why??

Because I’m STILL HERE, still taking the short-end of the straw and still fighting.

Why?? Because to me it’s worth it to prove to everyone how wrong they are when it’s ME instead of THEM whose holding up the World Heavyweight Championship title high.

Don’t worry about Impulse though, Madeline, I’ve seen him compete enough, that were he to make it to the Finals with Sean, that it really wouldn’t be a surprise to me.

Much like the likes of the pairing of two people named Aaron Jones and Mickey Spillane….it just doesn’t trigger a “shock” to me.

So guess what “number 289”??

You never HAD stock that good, so mind who you’re talking to, SON.

Ya see, guys like Ice Tre, Boogie Smallz, even Stalker can try to be “hood enough”…to use the term loosely, to make it in this business.

I don’t…NEED to be “hood enough”, to make it in this game because I’ve already DONE IT. I say things like what

I said before in that “I’m rich”, because of the simple altruistic fact that…I dunno…

(Cruise shrugs)

CRUISE: It’s true??

After all, how else can you go from wrestling gators for charity and birthday parties to the Em-Gee-Em in Vegas to having last minute matches for Hugh Hefner in the Grotto of the Playboy Mansion in Beverly Hills.

And I’m telling ya, Toll Booth Willie, Beverly Hills….that IS where you wanna be.

LIVE-ING IN BEVERLY HILLS….BEVERLY HILLS!!!

(Cruise looks off to the side for a second)

Weezer made an easy bundle off of that song, but I digress…Manatees, even if I DON’T get another shot…after nearly twenty years in this business, when it comes to comparing me to you…

You can KEEP THE GUN, and I’ll STILL put you down with the knife, that’s just how it is, if you get my drift.

That’s not being cocky or arrogant…that’s giving you the FACTS, JACK.

You want give me a ‘Best Case Scenario’, Mental Patient?? Fair enough, here’s one for you:

I don’t HAVE to beat you within an inch of your life….but I can if I have to.

Just ask Troy Douglas....if you can find him.

But the fact is that my goal is to either pin your shoulders to the mat for three seconds or hurt you so badly that you QUIT.

I don’t care if you think it’s out of the betterment of your health or if you ACTUALLY BELIEVE that I’m going to yank your head off your shoulders when I slap on MY submission hold.

Because once the match is over and MY HAND is raised, whether it takes three seconds for the official to count you out or two seconds to see you TAP OUT…I forget about you in the next FIVE.

I move onward towards what I want in this business, which is what you couldn’t POSSIBLY comprehend at the moment… and you…can go sell underwater corndogs to misinformed tourists on the Jersey Turnpike.

Because that’s a REALITY CHECK that you just…won’t like.

Mutt.

FADEOUT
 

brusch

Main Event Caliber
Joined
Apr 16, 2012
Messages
836
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Location
St. Louis, MO
“Guess I got under ya skin, huh?”

(The camera opens to Malcolm Joseph-Jones, who is seated in an overstuffed leather booth in a dimly lit bar. He sips on a whiskey tumbler while wearing a black blazer, lavender dress shirt, and his all-too-chic browline glasses. He grins.)

MJ2: “I mean, what else explains it? What else explains these mountains of outrage, these thirty minute diatribes where every - single - POINT I bring up gets its own little spiel?

And the best bullet you got is sayin my name sounds like Malcolm Jamal Warner...

Tsk tsk tsk. Sad.

It’s because you’re scared, aintcha Cam? You’re scared, because you know that for every second you puff outcha chest, every sentence you spout where you try to put me down, you know what I’m sayin just cuts a little too deep, don’t it?"

(Malcolm takes a sip from his tumbler, which looks like a shot glass in his giant mitt of a hand. He swirls it, smiling, as Ray Charles can be faintly heard in the background.)

MJ2: "Heh heh…I get it. You ain't the first bitch who gets butthurt when a guy says things that are juuuuust a little too true, or the first guy who tries juuuuuuust a little too hard to come back from it. Stop embarrassing yourself.

I almost feel bad, you know? It would be better if you were IN on the joke that is 'Cameron Cruise'. Let me be blunt for a minute:

Anyone who would call you Mr. EPW is doing it ironically. The only reason you won the world title is because First wanted the title of 'First 3-time World Champ' and knew that you, the biggest bitch in the company, would be INCREDIBLY EASY to take the title back from in 30 seconds or less. He wouldn't try a stunt like that against Stevens, Impulse, Anarky, or even ME...he did it against you because you are such an over-inflated and over-hyped joke that he knew his plan would go off without a hitch. It was money in the bank. Whine all you want about it being unfair, but do you honestly thing a champ like him gets legitimately pinned by a fucking BACKSLIDE? You didn't earn the world title - it was red herringed to you. And that's the biggest cockslap to the face I've ever seen.

The legacy of Cameron Cruise is pretty simple: if something is REALLY on the line, you shit the bed. You can keep your precious little Grand Sham, because only an ego-starved, weak fool who's desperate for the approval of anyone he can talk at would proudly hold onto THAT abortion."

(Another swirl, another sip. He bobs his head a bit to the music and closes his eyes. His insufferable smile persists.)

MJ2: "Let's be real - if I'm a mutt, you're inbred white trash. And that's fine - you live in Jackson long enough, you see that kind of thing every now and then. I won't make fun - y'all are the tainted salt of the earth.

It's just so sad. You're already so far off whatever joke it is that you call 'your game'. The stage is just so beautifully set up - the irate, almost-a-real-champ, so pissed off and blinded by his recent failings and ready to swing just a LITTLE too hard at the hungrier rook with WORLDS more natural talent and ability. Swingin just hard enough to fall off the top of that ivory tower he's built for himself in his mind.

I wonder how long your speeches would be if I put a yogurt lid on a piece of yarn and called it a title. That might be a little cruel, though - if I added even a little more pressure on you, you might just pin yourself.

Cam, please. Stop playing into my hands so much. If you do, I might have to buy you dinner first."

(Malcolm cups his hands to his mouth.)

MJ2: "SON!!!!!!!!!!!11~"

(The very walls reverberate, leaving a lingering echo of his final word. Malcolm laughs his proverbial ass off in his seat as the camera fades to black.)
 

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