Blitz vs. Second Coming

[JABolich]

In the first of three tag-team qualifying matches, EPW's two longest-standing teams face off as Max and Jecht of Blitz battle Bryan Storms and Matt Johansson of Second Coming! The winners advance to the triple-threat elimination match at the PPV!

 

[EpyonMarx]

In Memoriam

[FADE IN. The camera is zoomed right the way in, so nothing shows. It pans back a little, revealing a hole. A deep hole, and yes, a dark hole. It pans back further, showing us that it’s a rectangular hole. Panning back further, we see it’s surrounded by white carnations. The camera pans round, and we see three men, dressed in black, their heads lowered. The first, smaller by far than the other two, throws in a small handful of dirt. The others follow suit. The camera pans in closer, just as it starts to spit with rain. The smallest man raises his head. It’s Leonard Johnson]

LJ: We are gathered here today to mourn the vacationing of the Empire Pro tag team titles, and the moving on of their former owners, the Crimson Calling. For reasons known only to themselves, the Calling and their manager, Nathan Fear, have decided to leave. Maybe they feel themselves far too superior to the other teams in the division to waste their time. Granted, they did prove themselves superior to Max and Jecht not once, not twice, but an unprecedented three straight matches. But, they left before they had a chance to see the other teams in this Empire in action. Teams like the Second Coming. Or maybe they had seen them, or were scared by the attack at Black Dawn? Either way, we must now mourn the passing of the Calling.

[Leonard bows his head in respect, as we see Max and Jecht move round out of shot. Something sounding very like shovelling is heard. After a few seconds, Leonard lifts his head and speaks again]

LJ: Yes, the Second Coming. A team with vast potential, embarking on the same path I now lead Blitz down. The path to become the second Empire Pro tag team champions; the first true fighting champions. But in this same situation we have Cameron Cruise and Joey Melton, The Black Thunder, Golem and X-Ecutioner, and the Monsta Boyz. Now, forgive my apparent lack of attention at this moment, Second Coming, but I wish to say hello to the Monsta Boyz, and ask if Bellows has ever taken me up on my challenge from MCW. I’ll await his response when the time comes. I hope I’m not disappointed, Buff.

And I hope I’m not disappointed, Johansson and Storms. I want you two to give everything you’ve got. Everything you can, every little trick you two can come up with between you. Because when Blitz hold those belts over their heads, I don’t want them to hear accusations that the competition wasn’t worthy. We want worthy men to wrestle. Or, if it’s a fight you would prefer, then we want worthy men to fight. You two, I feel, can bring the goods. You two were most unlucky in your previous match, to have someone take exception to things you had said and done and attacked you during your match. Storms, you don’t need it, but best of luck against Doe at the pay per view. We’ll even give you a little help.

We’ll eliminate you from the tournament so you can concentrate on the singles match with Doe.

[Leonard calls to Max and Jecht, who return to his side, shovels in hand]

LJ: Best of luck to you both, Johansson and Storms. Let us hope that you don’t end up like the Calling.

[Leonard, Max and Jecht turn, walking to the nearby church, just as a clap of thunder punctuates the air. The camera pans round, as we see the hole has been filled, and a tombstone erected loosely. It reads “Here Lies The Crimson Calling. RIP” FADE OUT]

 

[EpyonMarx]

A note from the manager

[FADE IN. Leonard Johnson, in his normal cheap suit, is standing alone in front of an Empire Pro backdrop]

LJ: Well, well, well. All too willing to speak when not involved, all too willing to get involved when not called on, but not willing to even acknowledge Blitz? It seems when we buried the Crimson Calling last time we were also burying the confidence of the Second Coming, a team which managed to knock the Calling down for the count at Black Dawn after the tables match. What’s going on here, Second Coming? You’re not scared are you?

I hope not. Fear in an opponent can make things too easy.

But I’m not simply here to talk about the Second Coming, oh no. I’m also here to update the fans of Empire Pro, the fans of the GREATEST promotion in the ENTIRE HISTORY of professional wrestling, as to the condition and training of Blitz. Max and Jecht have been in the gym on a daily basis as always, but they’ve been training extra hard, looking forward to proving themselves against the teams in this company who’ve decided to stay. The Second Coming, Black Thunder, and even the new boys, the Monsta Boyz. They’ve been lifting weights, running laps, doing all their CV and resistance training, and they’ve been working on the road fulfilling dates with independent promotions. They’ve even won two new titles for their collections at home, with the other indie straps they’ve won.

And they’re ready, Second Coming. Their ready, confident, and hungry for the success which they truly deserve. For too long they were ignored, kept in the little leagues, in the minor leagues, in places where the other so-called talents were not fit to be in the same ring as Blitz. They have years of experience as a team working for them, and years of pent up frustration. And that frustration is going to be vented in part at the Second Coming.

Oh, there will be a truth in their name, “The Second Coming.” They’ll be coming in second, and coming back for a second, third, forth, and fifth beating at the hands of Blitz.

Those titles are there for the taking, and Blitz know it. Max and Jecht have an insatiable hunger for success, and that hunger will drive them to bigger and better things. Think of the Second Coming as the First Course. The titles will be dessert.

Prepare to be BLITZED!!!

[FADE OUT]

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OoC: I know you've had a long week, Adam, so please don't take this as an attack on you for not having enough time. I just wanted to keep Leonard in character for the match

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[CuseTroy]

We Don't Need No Stinking Badges

FADE IN...

Bryan Storms and Matt Johansson sit on grey steel chairs in front of an Empire Pro backdrop. No luxury suite, no Italian leather sofas, no plasma screen TVs. Hell, this is hick country. What can you do? The blond Johansson wears a pair of dark shorts and a Nils Johansson #10 Minnesota North Stars hockey sweater, his hair tied back in a ponytail. Storms wears a pair of navy slacks and a dark grey short-sleeved polo shirt, a pair of dark sunglasses over his emerald eyes.

STORMS:

Well gee, Lenny. Thanks ever so much for your concern. It "touches" us. We're so glad you care about where we've been the past week.

But, how stupid are you, Lenny old boy?

You presume that simply since Mr. Johansson and myself have not regarded your so-called clients in the past week, that we're SCARED of you?

Oops. You just missed that one by a LITTLE bit, Lenny.

JOHANSSON:

If you can call completely and totally incorrect a little off.

STORMS:

That's what I MEANT! Damn Swedish/French-Canadians.

JOHANSSON:

Hey! That's a very rare cultural heritage!

STORMS:

And now we know why. Anyway, while my partner sits back and MINDS HIS OWN DAMN BUSINESS for the time being, I'll resume tearing your proteges a new one.

Scared, Lenny? Dead wrong. First, let me be the first to tell you that Matt and I had pressing personal matters to attend to this past week. Namely, avoiding the city of Huntsville, Alabama for as long as humanly possible. I mean, how long does the inbreeding have to go on before these people get a clue? Instead, we've been lounging on white, sandy beaches with a bevy of beautiful women, drinking the finest of tropical drinks and enjoying the, to put it in FCC accepted terminology, "finer things in life".

Secondly, if the greatest evolution in tag team wrestling history was to be scared of anything, we certainly would not be cowering away from a big German retard and an LA barrio gang reject. Especially if they're managed by the posterboy for sleazy injury lawyers across this nation. That, and a hackneyed, World War II inspired nom de guerre are supposed to make myself and my partner shake in our boots?

What's next, John Doe speaking in decipherable English? That'll be the day, boys.

Unleashed will be the time that Second Coming cements itself as the number one tag team this world has ever witnessed. We'll run over Blitz to get into that three way dance. Then, it doesn't matter which of those four pairings we have to go up against. The Monster Morons, those Gothic Wannabes who got SO DAMN LUCKLY when Johnny Doughboy interfered, the idiot and Joe Unprounceable, even Cam Cruise and the Almighty Joey Melton himself. We'll go through all of 'em if we have to. At Unleashed, those tag team straps will go around our waists, forever erasing the blemish in history that was the Crimson Calling.

Lenny, you just better hope that after we're through with your clients, we don't do to you what we did to your pal Nate Fear. Oh, and Johnny Doe? I won't touch you this week. I want you primed and ready for our pay per view match. At that time, you'll see why I'm the ICON, and your the two-bit, half-wit, MORON.

Until then, pals, you'll all continue to be victims of OUR scathing wit.

Hell, you're all jokes to us.

...FADE OUT

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OOC: No problem with the second RP, Karl. Just didn't get around to putting this up earlier.

 

[EpyonMarx]

[FADE IN. As Max and Jecht train in the background, their manager, Leonard Johnson, is busy doing an interview for a website]

Reporter: Thanks again for letting me come here to talk to you, Mr Johnson.

LJ: It’s no problem. Ask away.

Reporter: Well, it’s all about the upcoming match with the Second Coming. I’m sure you’ve heard what they had to say, and was wondering if you’d be gracious enough to respond.

LJ: Well, since it’s about them, you can fire away with any questions you want, because to be honest, I wouldn’t normally waste the energy trying to reason with the Windy One.

Reporter: By that, I assume you mean Storms?

LJ: Windy One sounds far better. You never know which bodily orifice he’s going to talk through next.

Reporter: OK. Now, first they claimed they weren’t scared of you; they were staying away from Huntsville, Alabama as long as possible. What do you think to that?

LJ: If they were so busy staying away from somewhere, laying on white beaches and having casual relationships with the local call girls, then I’d have thought they’d have had the sense and time to put together one tape, no matter how short, to let us know that they still existed. They’ve already had one match cancelled, and if they can’t be bothered to promote themselves and their matches, then it does raise questions. And, whilst they may not be scared of Blitz, they do appear like a lot of tag-teams these days.

Reporter: How so?

LJ: One is scared to let the other speak. Take, for example, the Monsta Boyz: Bellows bellows all the time. In the Second Coming, Storms seems not to want Johansson to speak his mind. I have no problem with a team who admit they can’t talk to the crowd so have a manager do it for them, in the case of teams like the Calling and Blitz, and so many great teams over the years, like the young Hart Foundation. But I am also more than happy to let Max and Jecht talk for themselves if they want to, and have even made them talk in the past, so I would expect to hear something substantive from BOTH of their opponents. But, alas, it seems in the Second Coming, Mr Johansson is second best.

Reporter: OK. Now, they made the same claim as many teams have, that one or other of Blitz is a retard. How do you respond?

LJ: Max and Jecht are far from retards. And to claim that they are retarded shows a juvenile, puerile sense of humour far from the ‘scathing wit’ that they claimed. Max has a very heavy Germanic accent. Strange, that, someone who’s family are historically from Eastern Prussia having a heavy Germanic accent. I’d venture to say that he’s far superior in intellect to both of our opponents, so if he were retarded, then Storms and Johansson would have been two of those children who were left to die on windswept crags in years gone by.

Reporter: Doesn’t it get infuriating, though, having to repeat yourself to so many teams?

LJ: I don’t expect the opponents to have enough intelligence to actually pay attention and listen to what’s been said in the past.

Reporter: OK. Any closing comments about them before we wrap this up?

LJ: Only that if Mr Storms thinks of Blitz as a joke, or that he has scathing wit, or that the Second Coming have a CHANCE of beating Blitz, he is one hundred per cent wrong. But he and his near mute partner will just have to find out the hard way when we blitz through them.

Reporter: OK. Thanks again, Mr Johnson. On a personal note, it’s good to see someone who isn’t a complete copy of the other teams on the circuit.

LJ: Not at all. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to take Max and Jecht out to another indy event; they have three matches tonight as part of their training.

Reporter: Any title matches?

LJ: I think we’re running out of indies we haven’t taken the belts from. And the Empire Pro tag titles next for Blitz, so no titles this time.

Reporter: Ah, ok. Well, good luck with the matches.

[The reporter leaves via the nearby door, as Leonard turns his back to the camera, looking at his charges]

LJ: Luck has nothing to do with it.

[FADE OUT]