Stalker
I stalk, because I care
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Card is up!!
- Thread starter Stalker
- Start date
The Minstrel
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Thought the card was extremely well-written good work to all involved - enjoyed every bit of it. The matches were very entertaining - the main event was gold.
The angles are really starting to heat up and the backstage activity, I think has hit its boiling point. It reads like this place is about to erupt into a giant brawl, which is exactly where we want to be heading into several key events. Can't wait to see where all this is going.
Congrats to the winners, of course, but hats off to all those who participated - I think this card shows a lot of promise for this fed going forward. Lot of momentum for a lot of different characters.
***********************SPOILER ALERT:******************
Maybe, I'll shoot for a suspension two shows in a row
The angles are really starting to heat up and the backstage activity, I think has hit its boiling point. It reads like this place is about to erupt into a giant brawl, which is exactly where we want to be heading into several key events. Can't wait to see where all this is going.
Congrats to the winners, of course, but hats off to all those who participated - I think this card shows a lot of promise for this fed going forward. Lot of momentum for a lot of different characters.
***********************SPOILER ALERT:******************
Maybe, I'll shoot for a suspension two shows in a row
BWade
Grandma Took Me Home
Nice card. A whole lot of stuff going on. Which is good. Did a shotty, half assed segment by segment below, feel free to do the same.
Possible spoilers below ...
The Intro: Lengthy, but it read well and didn't feel long. The cut-a-ways to people arriving as their names came up was a nice addition. Lent to the "smaller promotion on the rise feel" I think. And anytime you can give the broadcast team some time to breathe and maybe expand who they are as characters is always good.
MLM vs. Niles vs. Go Go: I wrote it this so, I won't say much, except I liked the finish Stalker sent over.
The Minstrel Strikes!: Surprising segment. I didn't see this coming at all, especially considering it involved two new characters that I'm not familiar with. A little talky for an attack, in my opinion, but its good bait because I'm interested in what will come next.
Erik Mateo vs. Derrick Allen: Wrote it, in it, so...
Two Belts Collide: Just when I thought I had Mateo-ese down pat ... I had to read his lines like ten times. This segment was interesting as well, espescially after the "shiny object" in the intro. Interested to see what will happen with the LVW belt, especially after the "Rumor Mill" post.
Paying for Your Actions: Not the fall out I expected but it seems to be more then one story going on here. Still interested to see what comes next.
Eddie Patton vs. Eddie Whisky: Nice match. I liked seeing MLM return Whiskey's favor.
Perfection vs. Scott Douglas: In it, so ...
Allen Gets the Last Word: Co-wrote it, so ...
Perfection is Pissed: This left me confused. I liked that Art finally snapped, but other then that I didn't understand the purpose of this. Seemed like a waste of "TV time," IMO.
Vizier ta Seti (c) vs. Rocko Daymon: Speaks for it self, really. I dug the finish and was glad to see Rocko "do the right thing" especially if this turns out to be his exit.
After thoughts: Wrote on it, so ...
Favorite Terry "The Idol" Anderson line: "Just cover him so we can go home! It doesn’t matter who Perfection takes the belt from!"
Again, all strictly my humble opinion.
Copy & Paste Template for those, interested.
The Intro:
MLM vs. Niles vs. Go Go:
The Minstrel Strikes!:
Erik Mateo vs. Derrick Allen:
Two Belts Collide:
Paying for Your Actions:
Eddie Patton vs. Eddie Whisky:
Perfection vs. Scott Douglas:
Allen Gets the Last Word:
Perfection is Pissed:
Vizier ta Seti (c) vs. Rocko Daymon:
After thoughts:
Favorite Terry "The Idol" Anderson line: "Just cover him so we can go home! It doesn’t matter who Perfection takes the belt from!"
Again, all strictly my humble opinion.
Possible spoilers below ...
The Intro: Lengthy, but it read well and didn't feel long. The cut-a-ways to people arriving as their names came up was a nice addition. Lent to the "smaller promotion on the rise feel" I think. And anytime you can give the broadcast team some time to breathe and maybe expand who they are as characters is always good.
MLM vs. Niles vs. Go Go: I wrote it this so, I won't say much, except I liked the finish Stalker sent over.
The Minstrel Strikes!: Surprising segment. I didn't see this coming at all, especially considering it involved two new characters that I'm not familiar with. A little talky for an attack, in my opinion, but its good bait because I'm interested in what will come next.
Erik Mateo vs. Derrick Allen: Wrote it, in it, so...
Two Belts Collide: Just when I thought I had Mateo-ese down pat ... I had to read his lines like ten times. This segment was interesting as well, espescially after the "shiny object" in the intro. Interested to see what will happen with the LVW belt, especially after the "Rumor Mill" post.
Paying for Your Actions: Not the fall out I expected but it seems to be more then one story going on here. Still interested to see what comes next.
Eddie Patton vs. Eddie Whisky: Nice match. I liked seeing MLM return Whiskey's favor.
Perfection vs. Scott Douglas: In it, so ...
Allen Gets the Last Word: Co-wrote it, so ...
Perfection is Pissed: This left me confused. I liked that Art finally snapped, but other then that I didn't understand the purpose of this. Seemed like a waste of "TV time," IMO.
Vizier ta Seti (c) vs. Rocko Daymon: Speaks for it self, really. I dug the finish and was glad to see Rocko "do the right thing" especially if this turns out to be his exit.
After thoughts: Wrote on it, so ...
Favorite Terry "The Idol" Anderson line: "Just cover him so we can go home! It doesn’t matter who Perfection takes the belt from!"
Again, all strictly my humble opinion.
Copy & Paste Template for those, interested.
The Intro:
MLM vs. Niles vs. Go Go:
The Minstrel Strikes!:
Erik Mateo vs. Derrick Allen:
Two Belts Collide:
Paying for Your Actions:
Eddie Patton vs. Eddie Whisky:
Perfection vs. Scott Douglas:
Allen Gets the Last Word:
Perfection is Pissed:
Vizier ta Seti (c) vs. Rocko Daymon:
After thoughts:
Favorite Terry "The Idol" Anderson line: "Just cover him so we can go home! It doesn’t matter who Perfection takes the belt from!"
Again, all strictly my humble opinion.
I'll leave my feedback in my usual way... point by point, giving pros and cons when necessary. Bit of a disclaimer to anybody who may as of yet be unfamiliar with the Great and All-Powerful Straws... I tend to look at things critically, and respond with honesty. You can also read that as, "I'm a pretentious, snobbish asshole (though not on purpose)".Please don't take it personally if there was something you contributed that I didn't like; if a writer can't take criticism, then he can't be expected to grow or improve in his skill.
Okay, let's get this going:
INTRO EMBED
Ugh... nu-metal. You need to start smokin' dope, Justin. [/erikblack]
OPEN
I liked the brief cuts backstage to show wrestlers of subject doing their thing. Compared to the WWE style of showing CG-laden face-off screens, it really shows a degree of humanity within the locker room. I hope future cards take it a step further or get more creative.
SPOOKY DOOM SEG
This was a rather nice character introduction, and I'm immediately intrigued. Probably could have just been an Air Time promo instead of a segment onto the card, but it didn't really go on for too long, and I don't think it detracted from the show overall. Just a quick hey, what's up, see you at the next show kind of deal.
MLM VS. NILES VS. GO-GO
First of all, I like how commentary is now being interjected into short-forms. IWF seriously has some of the best short-forms I've ever read, simply for including commentary reactions. Match itself was pretty good, finish was dirty but fluid, and it was a nice rub for the debuting Go-Go while also pushing the animosity between Mayweather and Whiskey. Seeing two chicks beat up on Whiskey post-match I thought was pretty hilarious.
MINSTREL SEG ONE
Admittedly, before I knew there was a second part to this, the backstage attack seemed rather out of place. Go-Go just debuted, and this is the Minstrel's first appearance on an IWF show. My point is, there wasn't really much emotional attachment to either of these characters at this early juncture, yet Minstrel all but destroys Go-Go in a shocking fashion. Granted, the second segment cleared things up... but it was really weird watching something like that go down between two characters who have yet to establish themselves. Anyway, this is to say nothing about the beatdown itself, which was pretty vicious. Maybe a little over the top, which made the following beatdown of Scott Douglas seem slightly inferior, but I think it really says something about the Minstrel. Evil, evil man we have in the federation now. More thoughts when we get to the second segment.
ERIK MATEO VS. DERRICK ALLEN
Entertaining match to read. Mateo's comic side actually meshed pretty well with Allen coming into IWF with a solid performance. Finish was hilarious, and pretty fitting to the brewing Douglas/Allen rivalry. Not much I can say otherwise other than it could have been just a teeny bit longer.
DOUBLE CHAMPS SEG
YES! LVW REFERENCES! Love that shit. This could build to a pretty interesting title versus (defunct) title match.
MINSTREL SEG TWO
A good compliment to the first seg. After I read this, I said to myself, "OKAY, he's just an overly violent bastard with no remorse for his actions." Definitely put the character into a clear light, although it was slightly disappointing to see that he'd be missing out on his debut match. Still, this is probably just as good of a debut.
PATTON VS. WHISKEY
Nice battle between the two Eddies, though a bit short, especially compared to the opening match. Mayweather's appearance seemed kind of moot since the earlier attack made by Whiskey, though I guess it gives her a bit of vengeance, ruining her foe's chance at victory. Nice seeing Patton get the win, as he was one of my favorite NLW characters, and I'd like to see him have a good run here.
PERFECTION VS. SCOTT DOUGLAS
Another decent match, though same as above... kinda short compared to the opener. It's even more obvious when you consider that these are two top talents in the federation. There's also something really funny about the fact that this was the only clean win on the card but Terry kept on screaming about cheating.
DOUGLAS/ALLEN BRAWL
First of all, I like that commentary was added in. That's how I would expect a wrestling program to be, with the guys reacting to the action. The sheer animosity between Douglas and Allen with Courtney caught in the middle is great. Compared to the attack on Go-Go, the damage didn't seem as extreme, but the emotion reaction by Courtney and the commentators really sold it as something going off-script, so to speak. I really hope this doesn't mean an extended absence for Sub Pop...
PERFECTION SEG
Nice display of Perfection's complete self-infatuation, and good reactions by Mori and Paz. Art's really beginning to grow on me, and I'm beginning to think that one day he might go postal and start dishing out Mori-Bombs left and right to everybody in the locker room. Anyway, I suddenly can't wait for Surge to come around.
MAIN EVENT
I have to give some serious props to Russo for writing one of the best Rocko matches I've read in some years. That's including all the ones I wrote myself. If it's the character's last official hurrah, then I won't be disappointed sending him to pasture that way. Story-telling was good, commentary was good, and the length was appropriate. Bottom line, I dug it. I may consider Rocko's involvement in IWF to be one of things I later regret, like Erik Black's arrest and Rocko vacating the EPW Title, but it gives me something to build off of in the future. Looking forward to turning my attention back to Kerry Kuroyama (also, tyvm for the "Pacific Blitzkrieg" moniker), who will pick up where the master left off. As for Seti and Mateo, I'm once again stoked for a title unification match. I feel it will compliment IWF's expansion down to the southern Pacific region.
OUTRO
Injury update on an earlier backstage attack AND a Stephen Waltz nod? Now you're just showing off...
OVERALL
I thought this was a really good and really well-written card. Continuity was something I noticed, like backstage segments beginning with wrestlers returning from matches. I feel that many cards I've read have always overlooked those details, but it shows that there was an effort in editing and making it all cohesive, so kudos again to everybody who contributed.
My major criticism goes more toward booking. Decisions, I don't really have a problem with... but only one out of five matches had a clean finish. Granted, this was a card meant to push angles and kindle some feuds, so it doesn't really get noticed. Besides that, a lot of momentum gets protected this way. I'll let it slide this time...
...but NEXT TIME, Justin... it's a MORI-BOMB for you!
Another thing I'd like to say is that I'm really intrigued by the new crop of talent. The Minstrel, Go-Go Spectacular, and Derrick Allen will have my attention in coming shows.
There you have it, lady and gentlemen. The Immortal Word of Straw-Bot, the Incalculable.
Okay, let's get this going:
INTRO EMBED
Ugh... nu-metal. You need to start smokin' dope, Justin. [/erikblack]
OPEN
I liked the brief cuts backstage to show wrestlers of subject doing their thing. Compared to the WWE style of showing CG-laden face-off screens, it really shows a degree of humanity within the locker room. I hope future cards take it a step further or get more creative.
SPOOKY DOOM SEG
This was a rather nice character introduction, and I'm immediately intrigued. Probably could have just been an Air Time promo instead of a segment onto the card, but it didn't really go on for too long, and I don't think it detracted from the show overall. Just a quick hey, what's up, see you at the next show kind of deal.
MLM VS. NILES VS. GO-GO
First of all, I like how commentary is now being interjected into short-forms. IWF seriously has some of the best short-forms I've ever read, simply for including commentary reactions. Match itself was pretty good, finish was dirty but fluid, and it was a nice rub for the debuting Go-Go while also pushing the animosity between Mayweather and Whiskey. Seeing two chicks beat up on Whiskey post-match I thought was pretty hilarious.
MINSTREL SEG ONE
Admittedly, before I knew there was a second part to this, the backstage attack seemed rather out of place. Go-Go just debuted, and this is the Minstrel's first appearance on an IWF show. My point is, there wasn't really much emotional attachment to either of these characters at this early juncture, yet Minstrel all but destroys Go-Go in a shocking fashion. Granted, the second segment cleared things up... but it was really weird watching something like that go down between two characters who have yet to establish themselves. Anyway, this is to say nothing about the beatdown itself, which was pretty vicious. Maybe a little over the top, which made the following beatdown of Scott Douglas seem slightly inferior, but I think it really says something about the Minstrel. Evil, evil man we have in the federation now. More thoughts when we get to the second segment.
ERIK MATEO VS. DERRICK ALLEN
Entertaining match to read. Mateo's comic side actually meshed pretty well with Allen coming into IWF with a solid performance. Finish was hilarious, and pretty fitting to the brewing Douglas/Allen rivalry. Not much I can say otherwise other than it could have been just a teeny bit longer.
DOUBLE CHAMPS SEG
YES! LVW REFERENCES! Love that shit. This could build to a pretty interesting title versus (defunct) title match.
MINSTREL SEG TWO
A good compliment to the first seg. After I read this, I said to myself, "OKAY, he's just an overly violent bastard with no remorse for his actions." Definitely put the character into a clear light, although it was slightly disappointing to see that he'd be missing out on his debut match. Still, this is probably just as good of a debut.
PATTON VS. WHISKEY
Nice battle between the two Eddies, though a bit short, especially compared to the opening match. Mayweather's appearance seemed kind of moot since the earlier attack made by Whiskey, though I guess it gives her a bit of vengeance, ruining her foe's chance at victory. Nice seeing Patton get the win, as he was one of my favorite NLW characters, and I'd like to see him have a good run here.
PERFECTION VS. SCOTT DOUGLAS
Another decent match, though same as above... kinda short compared to the opener. It's even more obvious when you consider that these are two top talents in the federation. There's also something really funny about the fact that this was the only clean win on the card but Terry kept on screaming about cheating.
DOUGLAS/ALLEN BRAWL
First of all, I like that commentary was added in. That's how I would expect a wrestling program to be, with the guys reacting to the action. The sheer animosity between Douglas and Allen with Courtney caught in the middle is great. Compared to the attack on Go-Go, the damage didn't seem as extreme, but the emotion reaction by Courtney and the commentators really sold it as something going off-script, so to speak. I really hope this doesn't mean an extended absence for Sub Pop...
PERFECTION SEG
Nice display of Perfection's complete self-infatuation, and good reactions by Mori and Paz. Art's really beginning to grow on me, and I'm beginning to think that one day he might go postal and start dishing out Mori-Bombs left and right to everybody in the locker room. Anyway, I suddenly can't wait for Surge to come around.
MAIN EVENT
I have to give some serious props to Russo for writing one of the best Rocko matches I've read in some years. That's including all the ones I wrote myself. If it's the character's last official hurrah, then I won't be disappointed sending him to pasture that way. Story-telling was good, commentary was good, and the length was appropriate. Bottom line, I dug it. I may consider Rocko's involvement in IWF to be one of things I later regret, like Erik Black's arrest and Rocko vacating the EPW Title, but it gives me something to build off of in the future. Looking forward to turning my attention back to Kerry Kuroyama (also, tyvm for the "Pacific Blitzkrieg" moniker), who will pick up where the master left off. As for Seti and Mateo, I'm once again stoked for a title unification match. I feel it will compliment IWF's expansion down to the southern Pacific region.
OUTRO
Injury update on an earlier backstage attack AND a Stephen Waltz nod? Now you're just showing off...
OVERALL
I thought this was a really good and really well-written card. Continuity was something I noticed, like backstage segments beginning with wrestlers returning from matches. I feel that many cards I've read have always overlooked those details, but it shows that there was an effort in editing and making it all cohesive, so kudos again to everybody who contributed.
My major criticism goes more toward booking. Decisions, I don't really have a problem with... but only one out of five matches had a clean finish. Granted, this was a card meant to push angles and kindle some feuds, so it doesn't really get noticed. Besides that, a lot of momentum gets protected this way. I'll let it slide this time...
...but NEXT TIME, Justin... it's a MORI-BOMB for you!
Another thing I'd like to say is that I'm really intrigued by the new crop of talent. The Minstrel, Go-Go Spectacular, and Derrick Allen will have my attention in coming shows.
There you have it, lady and gentlemen. The Immortal Word of Straw-Bot, the Incalculable.
User Poets
The Shadow Pope
- Joined
- Jan 6, 1995
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- 2,192
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- Website
- www.valeriansgarden.com
Card was great, there's some underlying angles and some heat and intrigue forming. I was really impressed with how everything went together.
Main event... This was probably one of the toughest matches I've ever written. Balancing things I wanted to happen with things Straw wanted to happen with things Justin wanted to happen, against a backdrop of keeping Vizier ta Seti strong as Champion and keeping Rocko Daymon as smart and impactful as he's ever been.
Glad Justin and Straw enjoyed, that's really all that mattered to me - and I hope it was worth waiting for.
Main event... This was probably one of the toughest matches I've ever written. Balancing things I wanted to happen with things Straw wanted to happen with things Justin wanted to happen, against a backdrop of keeping Vizier ta Seti strong as Champion and keeping Rocko Daymon as smart and impactful as he's ever been.
Glad Justin and Straw enjoyed, that's really all that mattered to me - and I hope it was worth waiting for.