Damien
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OK, I love wrestling, and I love WWE. I also love spending a lot of time recently watching YouTube videos about how WWE should have booked XXX or should book YYY, and also booking this in my own head as well. So here’s a game a play by myself every year. Now, usually I’d start to think about this just after the Royal Rumble, but this time I want to start it early because, let’s face it, Survivor Series this weekend is when WWE needs to start heading towards Wrestlemania.
WWE has a serious problem right now with a lack of star power, and it’s not going to get better without serious work. Cena’s out, Orton’s out, Bryan’s out, Rollins is out, Undertaker’s part time, Lesnar’s part time… and that’s all of the believable main event players… Who else in the company could consistently main event PPVs right now and actually keep the everyday fan tuning in? Dean Ambrose maybe, Bray Wyatt or Roman Reigns at a push… but that’s it. Well, if Wrestlemania is going to feel like Wrestlemania should then it needs to have the star power to make it that way, and that’s what I’m gonna try and book for this year’s game.
So here’s the ground rules, because every game has rule, right?
Here’s the deal, I’m not going to book the smarks dream Wrestlemania. I’m going to book the Wrestlemania that helps do three things. Build towards the future, hide WWE’s shortcomings in terms of star power, and appeals to all demographics in WWE’s audience. And I’m gonna try and do it better than WWE inevitably will.
So, let’s get started with the main event.
The Undertaker’s Last Match
The Undertaker vs. John Cena
Alright, I hear the groans already, but please, hear me out. I’ve heard someone online book this and honestly, it makes sense, but I think I can book it even better than he’s done it. The Undertaker is getting on in years and after Brock Lesnar ended the streak did anyone really care about the match against Bray Wyatt last year? I mean, seriously? I want to say that I did, but I didn’t. I really, really didn’t. I genuinely believe it’s time for The Undertaker to hang it up, and this should be it for him. No appearances on Miz TV to talk about the upcoming WWE WHC match, no coming back for random segments with other legends. It’s time Undertaker rode off into the sunset in his home state, and that’s that.
So booking for this match starts at Survivor Series when The Undertaker gets pinned by Bray Wyatt. Yes, Bray Wyatt hits Sister Abigail and pins the Deadman 1, 2, 3 in the middle of the ring. The Undertaker is a broken man as he’s leaving the arena, and then the next night on RAW he announces that he’s retiring from active competition. Survivor Series made him realise he can’t hang with the young guys for much longer, and so he’s going to hang it up and this is the end of The Undertaker. Of course, someone has to ruin the party, and that someone is Bray Wyatt. He comes down, gets in The Undertaker’s face, and the Undertaker backs down from the Wyatt Family. He leaves the arena and we don’t see or hear from him again.
The next week Bray Wyatt starts to brag about retiring The Undertaker, and he’s thrilled by it. Now he’s truly the new face of fear. Now he’s BOOO BOBOBOOOOOOO Here comes JOHNNNNNN CEEEEEEEEENA! Cena comes down, and cuts a promo on Bray about how he showed nothing but disrespect to The Undertaker, a guy that gave 25 years of his life to this business and blah blah blah. Now, I’m not going to book week by week, but the gist of this new feud is to build John Cena up as ‘The New Phenom’. Not as the ‘New Undertaker’, but as the replacement to what The Undertaker represents. John Cena is going to be considered the old guard, much like the Undertaker has been over the last few years, and that’s important going forwards.
Now, John Cena faces Bray Wyatt in a chairs match at TLC, because they deserve a stipulation and there’s no point in them being in a tables match or a ladder match. Cena defeats Bray Wyatt in that match, but that’s not the end of their feud. No, that carries on all the way through to the Royal Rumble which both men involved in. Bray comes out at number 8, Luke Harper at 9, Erick Rowan at 3, but we’ll come to that later, and Braun Strowman at number 11. So the Wyatts empty the ring when it’s the three of them (save for two guys that I’ll touch on later as well) when John Cena hits the ring at number 15. He comes down pumped to all hell and takes it to the Wyatts. Specifics are omited here because do you really need exact details? But Strowman and Harper are eliminated in believable ways that don’t just squash them into irrelevance, and Cena and Wyatt are left in the middle of the ring.
Then… GONG!
There’s a tombstone on the Titantron and on it reads the name John Cena, there’s the lone star of Texas, and the date of Wrestlemania. Cena doesn’t know what’s going on and in his confusion he’s eliminated by Bray Wyatt. Wyatt carries on with the rumble which he doesn’t win but he sure as shit gets down to the last few superstars.
Next night on RAW, Cena wants to know what that was about and accuses Bray Wyatt of playing mind games. This carries their feud onwards towards FastLane where the two face off again in a steel cage match. Throughout this part of the feud Cena is still talking about being the new Phenom and wanting to make sure Bray Wyatt doesn’t run roughshod over the WWE and that he’s no Undertaker. During the cage match Cena looks set to win after an AA and crawls for the door when The Undertaker emerges from under the ring through the mat! He grabs Cena and tombstones him in the middle of the ring allowing Bray to pick up the pinfall victory to avenge his loss to Cena at TLC and help build Bray Wyatt even more heading towards Wrestlemania.
RAW after FastLane and John Cena is fuming. He doesn’t know why The Undertaker has come back, but he wants answers. It transpires that The Undertaker isn’t happy with John Cena trying to usurp his place so soon and says if Cena wants his position then he’s going to have to earn it. In what will truly be The Undertaker’s final match. Win or Lose. John Cena vs. The Undertaker at Wrestlemania 32.
As for the match itself, The Undertaker wins. Simple as that. He’s given so much to this business, and he’s already given up the streak, and I know there’s the tradition of going out on your back, but come on… he’s The fuckin’ Undertaker. If anyone can have an exception made for them it’s him.
So that’s the Main Event, because let’s face it, how could it not be? Now, I touched on the Royal Rumble match during the build to that, so let’s go onto the Championship match and reveal who wins the Rumble, shall we?
WWE World Heavyweight Championship Match
Cesaro vs. Roman Reigns © w/ Dean Ambrose as the Special Guest Referee
Ahhh, yes, the winner of my Royal Rumble would be Cesaro. We all know WWE has screwed the pooch when it comes to booking the Rumble for the last two years. Did everything turn out alright? Well, yeah actually, but if they fuck up the Rumble for a third year in a row I think that’ll do some serious damage to what I consider to be one of the best nights of the year.
So Cesaro enters the Rumble at number 7 (just before Bray Wyatt for those of you paying attention at home) and goes to the end. He plays a part in eliminating the Wyatt family, and he wins the thing by last eliminating Sheamus (more on him in a couple of seconds), because seriously, WWE needs to make it look like they’re about to fuck up and then pull it back at the last second to really pop the crowd for the first time in years.
So that covers how Cesaro gets in the title match, but how about Reigns? And what about Dean Ambrose? Well, allow me to enlighten you.
This Sunday at Survivor Series Dean Ambrose wins the WWE World Heavyweight Championship in the tournament by pinning Reigns in the final. HHH comes down to award Dean the belt and Roman Reigns hits him with a mothafuckin’ spear to turn heel. HHH extends a hand… and Reigns refuses to shake it and leaves the arena. HHH is shocked, and then Sheamus’ music hits. Sheamus comes down, cashes in Money in the Bank and pins Ambrose to walk out at the WWE WHC.
Reigns explains himself on RAW saying he has worked his ass off this last year only to have the fans root for Dean instead. He was clearly the fan favourite last night, and he’s sick of not getting the reaction from the crowd that he deserves. He’s not going to pander to them anymore, and he’s going to go for the one thing that he deserves, and that’s the WWE WHC. People have cut him off from his chances for too long (Rollins at WM31, Wyatt at MitB, Ambrose last night) and he wants a shot at TLC.
Sheamus comes out and says he should probably thank Reigns, but he could have done it by himself. Ambrose then comes out and all hell breaks loose. He attacks Reigns, he attacks Sheamus, he attacks everyone and anyone around. He’s properly lost his mind over what happened.
Anyway, this leads to a 3 way TLC match at TLC where Sheamus defends the title against Ambrose and Reigns, which Reigns wins to walk out as Champion.
We then build towards Reigns vs. Ambrose at the Royal Rumble (Which is what keeps Ambrose out of the Rumble match itself, and puts Sheamus in it because he is trying to earn another shot after losing his rematch the night after TLC).
Fast Lane’s main event is Reigns vs. Ambrose again, which Reigns wins because we’re really trying to put heat on Reigns. He’s got to be booed out of every arena he goes to while he’s the champion to really build up the main event at Mania.
Now, Ambrose has to be part of the main event because he’s just that over, and he earns the right to call the match by pinning Reigns in a non title match in the buildup to Wrestlemania. That throws a huge question mark up over how the match will go, especially with all the heat between him and Reigns, and the fact that throughout this whole feud he and Cesaro seem to be on the same page.
Cesaro vs. Sheamus is also a match that happens at FastLane, and we’ll get some tag matches that involve all four superstars during the buildup to Wrestlemania.
As for why Cesaro, if WWE wants to book Reigns as the future face of the company then he needs to appear to be able to put on a good match. He did that last year against Lesnar, now imagine what Cesaro could help him do on the grandest stage of them all. Reigns would win the match, but Cesaro would help make him look as good as he’s ever been.
OK, so we’ve got two main events, now we need our special attraction main event. One that’s going to get those that like to see part time talent interested. And so we’re going to see
Triple H & Stephanie McMahon vs. The Rock and Ronda Rousey
OK, this is pretty self explanatory. The groundwork for this was laid at Wrestlemania 31 and it’s just gotta happen. Ronda’s recent loss could work well for her if Stephanie starts talking shit about it with the Diva’s Revolution. Just imagine that, Stephanie is talking to Charlotte about being careful out there, because if she loses she’s going to lose a whole load of appeal with the fans… Just look at Ronda Rousey…
Seriously that shit writes itself.
This isn’t going to go into too much detail, because simply put it doesn’t need to. The Rock and HHH could build a match between them every other week for a couple of months. We wouldn’t need matches on PPVs before hand watering it down and making it feel less special. We certainly wouldn’t want Ronda appearing before the match either.
Rock and Ronda win.
Bray Wyatt vs. Brock Lesnar
This match would get kick started after the steel cage match at FastLane. Bray would instantly make a beeline for Brock Lesnar because he wants to go after the beast now that he’s beaten The Undertaker and John Cena.
The build for this would circle around the Wyatt family using the numbers game to their advantage to overpower Lesnar at every opportunity, and could you imagine Braun Strowman locking Brock in that bear hug?
The match at Mania HAS to have Brock go over though, and he does it after F5ing every single member of the Wyatt family enroute to the victory.
Because come on… He’s Brock fuckin’ Lesnar.
WWE Intercontinental Championship Match (No countout, No DQ)
Finn Balor vs. Kevin Owens ©
Here’s a match with some build to it, and that build has already started.
NXT Takeover: London, Finn Balor drops the NXT title to Samoa Joe. Number one reason is to pop the London crowd and switch a title in front of them for the first time since… I seriously think 1992 when the Bulldog beat Bret Hart for the IC title at Summerslam. Number two reason is so that Finn Balor can make an unexpected but entirely welcome main roster debut in the Royal Rumble match.
Let me get this out here now, Finn Balor should be Kevin Owens’ foil. He’s beaten him for the NXT title, he’s retained it against him, and now he should be the one to eliminate him from the Royal Rumble.
Kevin Owens comes in at number 4 and this is his year. He eliminates Stardust (number 1), Neville (number 2) and Erick Rowan (number 3). Then he goes all Stone Cold circa ‘97 until Cesaro comes in. I should probably mention here, Owens defended the IC title against Cesaro at TLC and beat him, so they’ve got history. They both survive the Wyatt Family and Owens makes it until number 30, when the lights go out and Finn Balor’s entrance music plays. Demon Finn crawls down to the ring and does his whole schtick on the turnbuckle.
Owens interrupt it and attacks Finn. He takes it to Balor and looks like he’s about to eliminate him when Finn reverses it and sends Owens over the top and out of the match. Owens is livid and jumps back in the ring, eliminates Balor and powerbombs him on the ring apron.
The build to Mania is that Finn Balor has Owens’ number. Their past year is brought up, and Finn gets a shot at the IC title at FastLane where Walk Owens Walk becomes a thing again and Owens takes his title and walks out of the match. That adds the stipulation of No Countout No DQ to the Mania match, and Finn walks out as champion because he has to going forwards. This will all play into their eventual feud over the WWE WHC in a couple of years because they're both capable of being in that position.
WWE Divas Championship Match
Becky Lynch vs. Paige vs. Charlotte vs. Sasha Banks ©
Enough with the Divas Revolution already. It’s not been a revolution, it’s been a farce. You want to put the focus on the divas? Let them go out there and wrestle. Let them go out there and do what they are capable of doing, and that’s putting on an incredible match.
The story here would be that these four are sick of the stable wars that haven’t advanced anything over the last few months and have gone their separate ways. All of them want the title and only one of them can have it.
I’d have Sasha win the title from Charlotte at the Royal Rumble and then defend it against Becky at FastLane. During that time these four are feuding between each other and building up a decent amount of heat in all directions.
Sasha leave Wrestlemania as she enters, as the Divas champion.
WWE United States Championship Match
Dolph Ziggler vs. Alberto Del Rio ©
Come on, you don’t want to see this? Dolph and Del Rio put on a magical match whenever they face each other and they could put on a classic opener for the US title. The build for the match would circle around Del Rio disrespecting the US title. He’s cheating to retain it in matches against Neville at TLC and FastLane and refusing to allow Ziggler a shot on RAW. Ziggler says he’s afraid because he won the World Heavyweight title from Del Rio the night after Wrestlemania 28.
We switch the title to kick the night off and pop the crowd early.
WWE Tag Team Championship Tag Team Turmoil Match
The Dudley Boyz vs. The Ascension vs. Enzo Amore & Big Cass vs. The Vaudevillains vs. The New Day ©
This is the start of the tag team revolution. We get Enzo and Cass and The Vaudevillains called up from NXT and they start taking the tag title scene by storm. Both teams beat established teams like the Prime Time Players, the Lucha Dragons, and Los Matadores on their way to a tag team turmoil match at Wrestlemania.
The Dudleys beat The Ascension
The Vaudevillains beat The Dudleys
Enzo & Big Cass beat The Vaudevillains
Enzo & Big Cass beat The New Day (Big E & Kofi)
The New Day (Woods & Big E) beat Enzo & Cass to retain the titles
I know that ending sounds pretty convoluted, but hear me out. The New Day can opperate with the freebird rule, so TECHNICALLY they’re a different tag team yet they’re still the same. Kofi gets pinned and it seems like Enzo and Cass have won the titles, then Woods gets in, rolls Enzo up and gets the pin. Seriously, how much heat would The New Day end up with there?
Divas Match
Brie Bella vs. Nikki Bella vs. Natalya vs. Naomi vs. Alicia Fox vs. Tamina
Just a six pack challenge so that we’ve got a toilet break because come on, we need a toilet break somewhere. I don’t give a crap about this match and I wouldn’t have it if I weren’t so confident in the attractions on the rest of the show and their abilities to hold the crowd's attention.
Then we come to the preshow. Now, I genuinely like the Battle Royal on the preshow, so I’m gonna keep it. And here’s who’s in it:
Andre The Giant Memorial Battle Royal
Adam Rose, Big Show, Bo Dallas, Braun Strowman, Curtis Axel, Damien Sandow, Darren Young, Diego, Erick Rowan, Fandango, Fernando, Heath Slater, Jack Swagger, Jimmy Uso, Jey Uso, Kalisto, Kane, King Barrett, Luke Harper, Mark Henry, The Miz, Neville, R-Truth, Rusev, Ryback, Sheamus, Sin Cara, Stardust, Titus O’Neil, Tyler Breeze
Winner: Ryback
Ryback has improved so much over the last year, both on the mic and in the ring and I think he deserves to be recognised for his hard work. This really is a throw away match to get everyone available on the card, but come on, a battle royal is a battle royal, isn’t it?
NXT Championship Match
Samoa Joe vs. Apollo Crewes
Come on, We need the hottest thing under the WWE banner right now represented at the biggest show of them all, and what better way than to defend the NXT title on the grandest stage of them all?
Joe wins the title from Balor in London and then holds onto it until Mania where he faces Crewes, who wins a tournament at Axxess to earn his shot. Joe defeats Crewes to retain. Plus Samoa Joe has performed at Wrestlemania.
So now we just need a running order:
Preshow:
Joe vs. Crewes
Battle Royal
Wrestlemania 32:
Ziggler vs. Del Rio
Tag Team Turmoil Match
Divas Title match
Owns vs. Balor
Divas 6 pack match
Wyatt vs. Lesnar
HHH/Steph vs. Rock/Rousey
Cesaro vs. Reigns
Undertaker vs. Cena
If you've read this far then thank you. I've only done this to get these ideas out of my head, because otherwise I'll sit here for weeks and maybe months going over them again and again.
Play along if you like. Throw up questions/problems. Or book your own Mania.
Or don't, I'm a guy on the Internet, not your puppeteer.
WWE has a serious problem right now with a lack of star power, and it’s not going to get better without serious work. Cena’s out, Orton’s out, Bryan’s out, Rollins is out, Undertaker’s part time, Lesnar’s part time… and that’s all of the believable main event players… Who else in the company could consistently main event PPVs right now and actually keep the everyday fan tuning in? Dean Ambrose maybe, Bray Wyatt or Roman Reigns at a push… but that’s it. Well, if Wrestlemania is going to feel like Wrestlemania should then it needs to have the star power to make it that way, and that’s what I’m gonna try and book for this year’s game.
So here’s the ground rules, because every game has rule, right?
- I don’t have a blank cheque book.
- I’m allowed one celebrity appearance
- All performers not under WWE contract must be believable
- Everything else is fair game
Here’s the deal, I’m not going to book the smarks dream Wrestlemania. I’m going to book the Wrestlemania that helps do three things. Build towards the future, hide WWE’s shortcomings in terms of star power, and appeals to all demographics in WWE’s audience. And I’m gonna try and do it better than WWE inevitably will.
So, let’s get started with the main event.
The Undertaker’s Last Match
The Undertaker vs. John Cena
Alright, I hear the groans already, but please, hear me out. I’ve heard someone online book this and honestly, it makes sense, but I think I can book it even better than he’s done it. The Undertaker is getting on in years and after Brock Lesnar ended the streak did anyone really care about the match against Bray Wyatt last year? I mean, seriously? I want to say that I did, but I didn’t. I really, really didn’t. I genuinely believe it’s time for The Undertaker to hang it up, and this should be it for him. No appearances on Miz TV to talk about the upcoming WWE WHC match, no coming back for random segments with other legends. It’s time Undertaker rode off into the sunset in his home state, and that’s that.
So booking for this match starts at Survivor Series when The Undertaker gets pinned by Bray Wyatt. Yes, Bray Wyatt hits Sister Abigail and pins the Deadman 1, 2, 3 in the middle of the ring. The Undertaker is a broken man as he’s leaving the arena, and then the next night on RAW he announces that he’s retiring from active competition. Survivor Series made him realise he can’t hang with the young guys for much longer, and so he’s going to hang it up and this is the end of The Undertaker. Of course, someone has to ruin the party, and that someone is Bray Wyatt. He comes down, gets in The Undertaker’s face, and the Undertaker backs down from the Wyatt Family. He leaves the arena and we don’t see or hear from him again.
The next week Bray Wyatt starts to brag about retiring The Undertaker, and he’s thrilled by it. Now he’s truly the new face of fear. Now he’s BOOO BOBOBOOOOOOO Here comes JOHNNNNNN CEEEEEEEEENA! Cena comes down, and cuts a promo on Bray about how he showed nothing but disrespect to The Undertaker, a guy that gave 25 years of his life to this business and blah blah blah. Now, I’m not going to book week by week, but the gist of this new feud is to build John Cena up as ‘The New Phenom’. Not as the ‘New Undertaker’, but as the replacement to what The Undertaker represents. John Cena is going to be considered the old guard, much like the Undertaker has been over the last few years, and that’s important going forwards.
Now, John Cena faces Bray Wyatt in a chairs match at TLC, because they deserve a stipulation and there’s no point in them being in a tables match or a ladder match. Cena defeats Bray Wyatt in that match, but that’s not the end of their feud. No, that carries on all the way through to the Royal Rumble which both men involved in. Bray comes out at number 8, Luke Harper at 9, Erick Rowan at 3, but we’ll come to that later, and Braun Strowman at number 11. So the Wyatts empty the ring when it’s the three of them (save for two guys that I’ll touch on later as well) when John Cena hits the ring at number 15. He comes down pumped to all hell and takes it to the Wyatts. Specifics are omited here because do you really need exact details? But Strowman and Harper are eliminated in believable ways that don’t just squash them into irrelevance, and Cena and Wyatt are left in the middle of the ring.
Then… GONG!
There’s a tombstone on the Titantron and on it reads the name John Cena, there’s the lone star of Texas, and the date of Wrestlemania. Cena doesn’t know what’s going on and in his confusion he’s eliminated by Bray Wyatt. Wyatt carries on with the rumble which he doesn’t win but he sure as shit gets down to the last few superstars.
Next night on RAW, Cena wants to know what that was about and accuses Bray Wyatt of playing mind games. This carries their feud onwards towards FastLane where the two face off again in a steel cage match. Throughout this part of the feud Cena is still talking about being the new Phenom and wanting to make sure Bray Wyatt doesn’t run roughshod over the WWE and that he’s no Undertaker. During the cage match Cena looks set to win after an AA and crawls for the door when The Undertaker emerges from under the ring through the mat! He grabs Cena and tombstones him in the middle of the ring allowing Bray to pick up the pinfall victory to avenge his loss to Cena at TLC and help build Bray Wyatt even more heading towards Wrestlemania.
RAW after FastLane and John Cena is fuming. He doesn’t know why The Undertaker has come back, but he wants answers. It transpires that The Undertaker isn’t happy with John Cena trying to usurp his place so soon and says if Cena wants his position then he’s going to have to earn it. In what will truly be The Undertaker’s final match. Win or Lose. John Cena vs. The Undertaker at Wrestlemania 32.
As for the match itself, The Undertaker wins. Simple as that. He’s given so much to this business, and he’s already given up the streak, and I know there’s the tradition of going out on your back, but come on… he’s The fuckin’ Undertaker. If anyone can have an exception made for them it’s him.
So that’s the Main Event, because let’s face it, how could it not be? Now, I touched on the Royal Rumble match during the build to that, so let’s go onto the Championship match and reveal who wins the Rumble, shall we?
WWE World Heavyweight Championship Match
Cesaro vs. Roman Reigns © w/ Dean Ambrose as the Special Guest Referee
Ahhh, yes, the winner of my Royal Rumble would be Cesaro. We all know WWE has screwed the pooch when it comes to booking the Rumble for the last two years. Did everything turn out alright? Well, yeah actually, but if they fuck up the Rumble for a third year in a row I think that’ll do some serious damage to what I consider to be one of the best nights of the year.
So Cesaro enters the Rumble at number 7 (just before Bray Wyatt for those of you paying attention at home) and goes to the end. He plays a part in eliminating the Wyatt family, and he wins the thing by last eliminating Sheamus (more on him in a couple of seconds), because seriously, WWE needs to make it look like they’re about to fuck up and then pull it back at the last second to really pop the crowd for the first time in years.
So that covers how Cesaro gets in the title match, but how about Reigns? And what about Dean Ambrose? Well, allow me to enlighten you.
This Sunday at Survivor Series Dean Ambrose wins the WWE World Heavyweight Championship in the tournament by pinning Reigns in the final. HHH comes down to award Dean the belt and Roman Reigns hits him with a mothafuckin’ spear to turn heel. HHH extends a hand… and Reigns refuses to shake it and leaves the arena. HHH is shocked, and then Sheamus’ music hits. Sheamus comes down, cashes in Money in the Bank and pins Ambrose to walk out at the WWE WHC.
Reigns explains himself on RAW saying he has worked his ass off this last year only to have the fans root for Dean instead. He was clearly the fan favourite last night, and he’s sick of not getting the reaction from the crowd that he deserves. He’s not going to pander to them anymore, and he’s going to go for the one thing that he deserves, and that’s the WWE WHC. People have cut him off from his chances for too long (Rollins at WM31, Wyatt at MitB, Ambrose last night) and he wants a shot at TLC.
Sheamus comes out and says he should probably thank Reigns, but he could have done it by himself. Ambrose then comes out and all hell breaks loose. He attacks Reigns, he attacks Sheamus, he attacks everyone and anyone around. He’s properly lost his mind over what happened.
Anyway, this leads to a 3 way TLC match at TLC where Sheamus defends the title against Ambrose and Reigns, which Reigns wins to walk out as Champion.
We then build towards Reigns vs. Ambrose at the Royal Rumble (Which is what keeps Ambrose out of the Rumble match itself, and puts Sheamus in it because he is trying to earn another shot after losing his rematch the night after TLC).
Fast Lane’s main event is Reigns vs. Ambrose again, which Reigns wins because we’re really trying to put heat on Reigns. He’s got to be booed out of every arena he goes to while he’s the champion to really build up the main event at Mania.
Now, Ambrose has to be part of the main event because he’s just that over, and he earns the right to call the match by pinning Reigns in a non title match in the buildup to Wrestlemania. That throws a huge question mark up over how the match will go, especially with all the heat between him and Reigns, and the fact that throughout this whole feud he and Cesaro seem to be on the same page.
Cesaro vs. Sheamus is also a match that happens at FastLane, and we’ll get some tag matches that involve all four superstars during the buildup to Wrestlemania.
As for why Cesaro, if WWE wants to book Reigns as the future face of the company then he needs to appear to be able to put on a good match. He did that last year against Lesnar, now imagine what Cesaro could help him do on the grandest stage of them all. Reigns would win the match, but Cesaro would help make him look as good as he’s ever been.
OK, so we’ve got two main events, now we need our special attraction main event. One that’s going to get those that like to see part time talent interested. And so we’re going to see
Triple H & Stephanie McMahon vs. The Rock and Ronda Rousey
OK, this is pretty self explanatory. The groundwork for this was laid at Wrestlemania 31 and it’s just gotta happen. Ronda’s recent loss could work well for her if Stephanie starts talking shit about it with the Diva’s Revolution. Just imagine that, Stephanie is talking to Charlotte about being careful out there, because if she loses she’s going to lose a whole load of appeal with the fans… Just look at Ronda Rousey…
Seriously that shit writes itself.
This isn’t going to go into too much detail, because simply put it doesn’t need to. The Rock and HHH could build a match between them every other week for a couple of months. We wouldn’t need matches on PPVs before hand watering it down and making it feel less special. We certainly wouldn’t want Ronda appearing before the match either.
Rock and Ronda win.
Bray Wyatt vs. Brock Lesnar
This match would get kick started after the steel cage match at FastLane. Bray would instantly make a beeline for Brock Lesnar because he wants to go after the beast now that he’s beaten The Undertaker and John Cena.
The build for this would circle around the Wyatt family using the numbers game to their advantage to overpower Lesnar at every opportunity, and could you imagine Braun Strowman locking Brock in that bear hug?
The match at Mania HAS to have Brock go over though, and he does it after F5ing every single member of the Wyatt family enroute to the victory.
Because come on… He’s Brock fuckin’ Lesnar.
WWE Intercontinental Championship Match (No countout, No DQ)
Finn Balor vs. Kevin Owens ©
Here’s a match with some build to it, and that build has already started.
NXT Takeover: London, Finn Balor drops the NXT title to Samoa Joe. Number one reason is to pop the London crowd and switch a title in front of them for the first time since… I seriously think 1992 when the Bulldog beat Bret Hart for the IC title at Summerslam. Number two reason is so that Finn Balor can make an unexpected but entirely welcome main roster debut in the Royal Rumble match.
Let me get this out here now, Finn Balor should be Kevin Owens’ foil. He’s beaten him for the NXT title, he’s retained it against him, and now he should be the one to eliminate him from the Royal Rumble.
Kevin Owens comes in at number 4 and this is his year. He eliminates Stardust (number 1), Neville (number 2) and Erick Rowan (number 3). Then he goes all Stone Cold circa ‘97 until Cesaro comes in. I should probably mention here, Owens defended the IC title against Cesaro at TLC and beat him, so they’ve got history. They both survive the Wyatt Family and Owens makes it until number 30, when the lights go out and Finn Balor’s entrance music plays. Demon Finn crawls down to the ring and does his whole schtick on the turnbuckle.
Owens interrupt it and attacks Finn. He takes it to Balor and looks like he’s about to eliminate him when Finn reverses it and sends Owens over the top and out of the match. Owens is livid and jumps back in the ring, eliminates Balor and powerbombs him on the ring apron.
The build to Mania is that Finn Balor has Owens’ number. Their past year is brought up, and Finn gets a shot at the IC title at FastLane where Walk Owens Walk becomes a thing again and Owens takes his title and walks out of the match. That adds the stipulation of No Countout No DQ to the Mania match, and Finn walks out as champion because he has to going forwards. This will all play into their eventual feud over the WWE WHC in a couple of years because they're both capable of being in that position.
WWE Divas Championship Match
Becky Lynch vs. Paige vs. Charlotte vs. Sasha Banks ©
Enough with the Divas Revolution already. It’s not been a revolution, it’s been a farce. You want to put the focus on the divas? Let them go out there and wrestle. Let them go out there and do what they are capable of doing, and that’s putting on an incredible match.
The story here would be that these four are sick of the stable wars that haven’t advanced anything over the last few months and have gone their separate ways. All of them want the title and only one of them can have it.
I’d have Sasha win the title from Charlotte at the Royal Rumble and then defend it against Becky at FastLane. During that time these four are feuding between each other and building up a decent amount of heat in all directions.
Sasha leave Wrestlemania as she enters, as the Divas champion.
WWE United States Championship Match
Dolph Ziggler vs. Alberto Del Rio ©
Come on, you don’t want to see this? Dolph and Del Rio put on a magical match whenever they face each other and they could put on a classic opener for the US title. The build for the match would circle around Del Rio disrespecting the US title. He’s cheating to retain it in matches against Neville at TLC and FastLane and refusing to allow Ziggler a shot on RAW. Ziggler says he’s afraid because he won the World Heavyweight title from Del Rio the night after Wrestlemania 28.
We switch the title to kick the night off and pop the crowd early.
WWE Tag Team Championship Tag Team Turmoil Match
The Dudley Boyz vs. The Ascension vs. Enzo Amore & Big Cass vs. The Vaudevillains vs. The New Day ©
This is the start of the tag team revolution. We get Enzo and Cass and The Vaudevillains called up from NXT and they start taking the tag title scene by storm. Both teams beat established teams like the Prime Time Players, the Lucha Dragons, and Los Matadores on their way to a tag team turmoil match at Wrestlemania.
The Dudleys beat The Ascension
The Vaudevillains beat The Dudleys
Enzo & Big Cass beat The Vaudevillains
Enzo & Big Cass beat The New Day (Big E & Kofi)
The New Day (Woods & Big E) beat Enzo & Cass to retain the titles
I know that ending sounds pretty convoluted, but hear me out. The New Day can opperate with the freebird rule, so TECHNICALLY they’re a different tag team yet they’re still the same. Kofi gets pinned and it seems like Enzo and Cass have won the titles, then Woods gets in, rolls Enzo up and gets the pin. Seriously, how much heat would The New Day end up with there?
Divas Match
Brie Bella vs. Nikki Bella vs. Natalya vs. Naomi vs. Alicia Fox vs. Tamina
Just a six pack challenge so that we’ve got a toilet break because come on, we need a toilet break somewhere. I don’t give a crap about this match and I wouldn’t have it if I weren’t so confident in the attractions on the rest of the show and their abilities to hold the crowd's attention.
Then we come to the preshow. Now, I genuinely like the Battle Royal on the preshow, so I’m gonna keep it. And here’s who’s in it:
Andre The Giant Memorial Battle Royal
Adam Rose, Big Show, Bo Dallas, Braun Strowman, Curtis Axel, Damien Sandow, Darren Young, Diego, Erick Rowan, Fandango, Fernando, Heath Slater, Jack Swagger, Jimmy Uso, Jey Uso, Kalisto, Kane, King Barrett, Luke Harper, Mark Henry, The Miz, Neville, R-Truth, Rusev, Ryback, Sheamus, Sin Cara, Stardust, Titus O’Neil, Tyler Breeze
Winner: Ryback
Ryback has improved so much over the last year, both on the mic and in the ring and I think he deserves to be recognised for his hard work. This really is a throw away match to get everyone available on the card, but come on, a battle royal is a battle royal, isn’t it?
NXT Championship Match
Samoa Joe vs. Apollo Crewes
Come on, We need the hottest thing under the WWE banner right now represented at the biggest show of them all, and what better way than to defend the NXT title on the grandest stage of them all?
Joe wins the title from Balor in London and then holds onto it until Mania where he faces Crewes, who wins a tournament at Axxess to earn his shot. Joe defeats Crewes to retain. Plus Samoa Joe has performed at Wrestlemania.
So now we just need a running order:
Preshow:
Joe vs. Crewes
Battle Royal
Wrestlemania 32:
Ziggler vs. Del Rio
Tag Team Turmoil Match
Divas Title match
Owns vs. Balor
Divas 6 pack match
Wyatt vs. Lesnar
HHH/Steph vs. Rock/Rousey
Cesaro vs. Reigns
Undertaker vs. Cena
If you've read this far then thank you. I've only done this to get these ideas out of my head, because otherwise I'll sit here for weeks and maybe months going over them again and again.
Play along if you like. Throw up questions/problems. Or book your own Mania.
Or don't, I'm a guy on the Internet, not your puppeteer.