EpyonMarx
New member
- Joined
- Nov 16, 2003
- Messages
- 1,004
- Points
- 0
- Location
- Nottingham, England
- Website
- www.karl-brown.co.uk
“SHOWTIME!”
[FADE IN. A darkened room, the only light coming from a TV screen in the corner. We can just about make out the outlines of bookcases filled with DVDs, books, and assorted figurines along the walls. There’s a large desk at one end of the room, where we can see the shadowy figure of a computer and monitor, and the TV, a decent size. The TV is actually turned slightly, and opposite it, sitting wearing headphones on his bed, is a blond-haired male of a decent build. What his real name is isn’t important. He’s simply known to friend and foe alike as]
Otaku: Man I love this intro! Doesn’t give away spoilers if you haven’t seen the series, catchy intro, GREAT lyrics and even better animation – this is what it’s all about!
[He holds up a DVD case to show us what series he’s watching, and we can just make it out in the dim light – “Burn Up Excess”]
Otaku: I mean, having a girl go almost orgasmic from eating ramen? And the dub VA actually nailing it?! How cool is that! Amanda Winn-Lee, we’re not worthy!
Oh, but hey, I guess I’m supposed to be introducing myself? Bummer, right when I was about to watch a show. Maaan.
[He reaches down to one side, pointing the remote up to an unseen DVD player. The DVD stops, and the whole shot goes black, until he draws the curtains, showing quite a colourful room. We see that there were indeed various figurines, models, DVDs, books et al scattered across the room. We also see that our host is wearing a T-shirt with a picture resembling a smiling, baseball-cap wearing face, with the text around it reading “I thought what I’d do was, I’d pretend I was one of those deaf mutes” – something keen anime watchers will know is the Laughing Man’s motto in Stand Alone Complex, Gig 1]
Otaku: OK. So, I’m Otaku. I’m an anime fan. Let me sit here a bit and let you all get the laughter out of your system.
“He’s an anime fan, tee hee hee!”
Yeah, yeah, I know. Anime fan turning his hand to pro wrestling. I’m joking, right?
Only if you guys are all named Yurika Misumaru. And I hope you are, just so I can use the line “Oh thank God you’re still clueless!”
Let’s get something straight. I love anime. Ever since I first saw Ghost in the Shell, there’s hardly been a week that’s gone by that I haven’t seen at least one episode. The stories, the artwork, the music – the total package is something almost no American shows have ever produced. But, I also love wrestling. Not the stuff that’s on the airwaves over here – the tired soap-opera, the crotch chopping, the horrible jokes. No. What I love is Purofesshonaru Resuringu, the stuff made popular by Rikidozan.
[He pauses, sensing the audience might not get the reference]
Otaku: You know, Rikidozan?... no? Ah, Wiki it. My point is, that’s what true wrestling is. It’s not about the soap opera. It’s not about the lousy attitudes – it’s the story. It’s the athleticism – I mean, sure, pro wrestling started in the US, but who gave us some of the greatest moves in history?
If you answered Jushin Thunder Liger, you win a prize!
[He pulls on a seemingly invisible chord, causing the victory music from the Final Fantasy series to play out]
Otaku: So, that’s me. An anime nut and a Japanese wrestling fan. So, why am I here in the J-W-O? Because plain and simple I’m sick of what I see tried by other US companies. You know, the soap operas, the dull matches, the tired repetition of person A in feds P through V feuding with person B who he met years ago in some fed no-one even remembers! The J-W-O promises to be something different. It promises to give people a chance, to take pro wrestling to being what it should be. Fun.
Like anime. Take what I’m about to watch, it’s got comedy, drama, love, hate, loss, redemption… and big guns! Not much more you can ask for. Now, in wrestling we aren’t allowed to pilot giant robots or shoot energy blasts at each other (though how cool would that be? Huh?) but each match can give you everything else if done right. And looking at the roster we’ve got the crazy psycho girls to boot! And they’re hot!
I wonder how many booby-bomb jokes there’ll be?
But enough, ENOUGH – I must to anime. If you’ll excuuuuse me Mister Cameraman.
[CUTOUT to darkness – except…]
Ominous Narrator: Next time on OTAKU!
Otaku: Hey folks, Otaku here! Next episode I’m really looking at some tough opposition. WHAM! KAPOW!! OH NO!! I’m going to die… or am I? Who’s that in the shadows? Is that you, Maki?
Next episode; Don’t Lose, Otaku – WARRIOR is with you!
[And out…]
[FADE IN. A darkened room, the only light coming from a TV screen in the corner. We can just about make out the outlines of bookcases filled with DVDs, books, and assorted figurines along the walls. There’s a large desk at one end of the room, where we can see the shadowy figure of a computer and monitor, and the TV, a decent size. The TV is actually turned slightly, and opposite it, sitting wearing headphones on his bed, is a blond-haired male of a decent build. What his real name is isn’t important. He’s simply known to friend and foe alike as]
Otaku: Man I love this intro! Doesn’t give away spoilers if you haven’t seen the series, catchy intro, GREAT lyrics and even better animation – this is what it’s all about!
[He holds up a DVD case to show us what series he’s watching, and we can just make it out in the dim light – “Burn Up Excess”]
Otaku: I mean, having a girl go almost orgasmic from eating ramen? And the dub VA actually nailing it?! How cool is that! Amanda Winn-Lee, we’re not worthy!
Oh, but hey, I guess I’m supposed to be introducing myself? Bummer, right when I was about to watch a show. Maaan.
[He reaches down to one side, pointing the remote up to an unseen DVD player. The DVD stops, and the whole shot goes black, until he draws the curtains, showing quite a colourful room. We see that there were indeed various figurines, models, DVDs, books et al scattered across the room. We also see that our host is wearing a T-shirt with a picture resembling a smiling, baseball-cap wearing face, with the text around it reading “I thought what I’d do was, I’d pretend I was one of those deaf mutes” – something keen anime watchers will know is the Laughing Man’s motto in Stand Alone Complex, Gig 1]
Otaku: OK. So, I’m Otaku. I’m an anime fan. Let me sit here a bit and let you all get the laughter out of your system.
“He’s an anime fan, tee hee hee!”
Yeah, yeah, I know. Anime fan turning his hand to pro wrestling. I’m joking, right?
Only if you guys are all named Yurika Misumaru. And I hope you are, just so I can use the line “Oh thank God you’re still clueless!”
Let’s get something straight. I love anime. Ever since I first saw Ghost in the Shell, there’s hardly been a week that’s gone by that I haven’t seen at least one episode. The stories, the artwork, the music – the total package is something almost no American shows have ever produced. But, I also love wrestling. Not the stuff that’s on the airwaves over here – the tired soap-opera, the crotch chopping, the horrible jokes. No. What I love is Purofesshonaru Resuringu, the stuff made popular by Rikidozan.
[He pauses, sensing the audience might not get the reference]
Otaku: You know, Rikidozan?... no? Ah, Wiki it. My point is, that’s what true wrestling is. It’s not about the soap opera. It’s not about the lousy attitudes – it’s the story. It’s the athleticism – I mean, sure, pro wrestling started in the US, but who gave us some of the greatest moves in history?
If you answered Jushin Thunder Liger, you win a prize!
[He pulls on a seemingly invisible chord, causing the victory music from the Final Fantasy series to play out]
Otaku: So, that’s me. An anime nut and a Japanese wrestling fan. So, why am I here in the J-W-O? Because plain and simple I’m sick of what I see tried by other US companies. You know, the soap operas, the dull matches, the tired repetition of person A in feds P through V feuding with person B who he met years ago in some fed no-one even remembers! The J-W-O promises to be something different. It promises to give people a chance, to take pro wrestling to being what it should be. Fun.
Like anime. Take what I’m about to watch, it’s got comedy, drama, love, hate, loss, redemption… and big guns! Not much more you can ask for. Now, in wrestling we aren’t allowed to pilot giant robots or shoot energy blasts at each other (though how cool would that be? Huh?) but each match can give you everything else if done right. And looking at the roster we’ve got the crazy psycho girls to boot! And they’re hot!
I wonder how many booby-bomb jokes there’ll be?
But enough, ENOUGH – I must to anime. If you’ll excuuuuse me Mister Cameraman.
[CUTOUT to darkness – except…]
Ominous Narrator: Next time on OTAKU!
Otaku: Hey folks, Otaku here! Next episode I’m really looking at some tough opposition. WHAM! KAPOW!! OH NO!! I’m going to die… or am I? Who’s that in the shadows? Is that you, Maki?
Next episode; Don’t Lose, Otaku – WARRIOR is with you!
[And out…]