EPICENTER: '08 TiT Sweet Sixteen

[TH]

[Fade into a shot of Tom Holzerman standing in front of the Big Screen split in fours, each quadrant showing a #1 seed.]

TH: The Sweet Sixteen. It was sweet for eight competitors, not as much for the other half, and that includes the number one seeds. One half of these top dogs would advance and the other two... not as much. Which ones would survive? EPICENTER is next...

[Cue up "Down" by Stone Temple Pilots.
Cut to JASON PAYNE, shouting out in primal fury with a man's blood as his war paint.
Cut to ROCKO DAYMON whipping ULYSIS SOLIAN off the ropes.
Cut to RAVAGER rolling out of the way of a ROB FRANKLIN top rope headbutt.
Cut to MUNSON MONSOON tossing HIGH FLYER out of the FREE FOR ALL~! ring.

Cut to DAN RYAN hoisting the Merrit Trophy, then flash cut to NOVA with the Harvard Avalon Memorial Trophy held by his side, then flash cut to The A-List hoisting the Dupree Cup.

Cut to: The Epicenter logo once more, fading into Tom Holzerman and Steve Murray at the EPICENTER desk.]

TH: Hello everybody, and welcome to TEAM EPICENTER for the Orlando and Minneapolis brackets of this tournament. I’m Tom Holzerman...

SM: And I’m Steve Murray.

[Cut to a close-up of Holzerman with a Randalls/Dusk inset behind him.

TH: It's the classic generation gap matchup. The veteran superstar, past titles numbering in the hundreds, taking on the young buck, the wrestler who seems to have the world by the cahones. Some could argue that the seeds here in this Orlando regional could be reversed, what with Mike Randalls' lack of recent success and Dusk's meteoric ascension in the worlds of PRIME and PTC. But either way, we bore witness to one hell of a matchup at the Arena of Champions.

[Cut to Orlando, FL, Dusk whipping Randalls off the ropes early.]

TH V/O: Dusk comes right out of the gate, grabbing the Wolf and flinging him into the ropes, then showing off some of his agility with that monkey flip.

[Cut to Randalls to the side of Dusk.]

TH V/O: Randalls firing back, lining up Dusk and crunching his shin and knee with that modified kneebreaker.

[Cut to Dusk leaping from a standing position.]

TH V/O: This match was very see-saw in the beginning stages, and in the feeling out process, Dusk breaks out something from his high-flying repertory with the flying headscissors takedown.

[Cut to Randalls jumping up.]

TH V/O: But Randalls, always the technician, drills Dusk's knee with the angled dropkick.

[Cut to Dusk behind Randalls.]

TH V/O: But the Lost Soul not named Mark Windham didn't let that slow him down. Here he hits the Wolf with a back suplex.

[Cut to Dusk whipping Randalls into the ropes.]

TH V/O: Here he goes, not helping any potential case of acid reflux that Randalls may have due to his steady diet of chipotle peppers and souls of those he's defeated with this gutbuster.

[Cut to a dazed Randalls, with Dusk on the top.]

TH V/O: PRIME's Intense Champion takes to the skies here, nailing Randalls with the moonsault.

[Cut to Randalls dazed again and Dusk on the top again.]

TH V/O: But Dusk goes to the well one time too many. Another moonsault attempt is countered by Randalls with a spinning roundhouse kick. Dusk falls to the mat like a ton of bricks, but it's not enough to completely stop his momentum.

[Cut to Dusk running the ropes.]

TH V/O: Here he levels Randalls with a spear, although you can see he's a bit shaken up.

[Cut to Randalls on the outside of the ring, Dusk running the ropes.]

TH V/O: And here, the tides turn more in Randalls' favor. Dusk goes for the suicide dive, but Randalls moves, causing Dusk to wipe out.

[Cut to Randalls in the ring, Dusk on the outside.]

TH V/O: Randalls then showing Dusk how it's done. Space Flying Tiger Drop and both men are wiped out again. On the outside. It took both men until the nineteen count to get back in the ring, very close to a double countout and a rare draw in the tournament.

[Cut to Dusk with Randalls in the double underhook.]

TH V/O: Dusk got the upperhand first, and here he is throwing Randalls with the butterfly suplex.

[Cut to Randalls behind Dusk.]

TH V/O: But you can never count the Wolf, and he goes back to attacking the knee of Dusk. Chop block and now Dusk has a wheel to worry about.

[Cut to Randalls with Dusk by the leg.]

TH V/O: And here, putting pressure not only on the leg but the neck too, the Wolf destroys Dusk with that capture suplex.

[Cut to Dusk whipping Randalls into the ropes.]

TH V/O: But Dusk comes back, sensing victory shattering the glass here with that spinebuster.

[Cut to Dusk lining Randalls up for a kick.]

TH V/O: And he has victory in sight, lining up for his Lights Out superkick, but problem... his plant leg is the one Randalls has been working on all match. He buckles and the Wolf smells blood. He wrangles Dusk into that Santa Fe Cloverleaf and Dusk has no choice but to sacrifice his chance in this tournament to preserve his career. Dusk taps and Randalls advances, flashing his left hand in front of the camera, where he has "NOVA" carved.

[Cut back to the studio, Tom Holzerman in front of a Championship of Champions inset.]

TH: Speaking of the Champion of Champions, his challenger for SuperShow VIII in Atlanta has been named, and it's Jonathan Rhine. The Sin City Championship Wrestling's Universal Champion will try to wrest the CoC from Nova in the main event. Of course, the TEAM Invitational Tournament semifinals will also take place at that event, as well as other title matches. Steve?

[Cut to the ring at the Target Center in Minneapolis.]

SM V/O: Thanks Tom, and now we take you to the first of the number ones to exit, and it's last year's Merritt Trophy Champion, Dan Ryan. However, it was under dubious circumstances. As the bell rings, the infamous American Idol flying squirrel comes out of nowhere and claws Ryan in the face. Troy Douglas, the fourth seed in Minneapolis, is shocked at first, but then does the only thing he can do, take advantage of it. He rolls up Ryan and gets the quick win. As for the squirrel, authorities have interviewed Ryan Seacrest, Clay Aiken and Sanjaya Malakar's crying fan. None talked.

[Cut to the O2 Arena in London.]

SM V/O: Onto another one-seed matchup, Lindsay Troy battling the fourth seed in London, Jonathan Marx, and the NEW World Champion gets the upper hand early on. Here he is with the gordbuster on the Queen of the Ring.

[Cut to Marx with Troy in an abdominal stretch type move.]

SM V/O: And here he's got Troy in an Octopus Stretch, wearing her down.

[Cut to Troy leaping at Marx.]

SM V/O: You can't hold a Queen down, and she nails Marx with that no-counter enzugiri. Look ma, no hands!

[Cut to Marx behind Troy.]

SM V/O: Marx may call himself a Gentleman, but he's not afraid to get high-impact with a woman in the ring. German suplex and a beaut.

[Cut to Troy wrangling Marx, bulldog style.]

SM V/O: Troy still has a lot of fight left in her, here giving Marx a taste of Sliced Bread, Number Two (springboard backflip reverse DDT).

[Cut to Troy behind Marx.]

SM V/O: And the Queen holding court with a cobra clutch legsweep.

[Cut to Marx with Troy in a standing headscissor.]

SM V/O: But in the end, the old-school superstar ends it with an old-school Memphis pulling piledriver on the Queen. Troy is knocked loopy, and Marx scores the upset.

[Cue up Led Zeppelin, "No Quarter." Cut to a shot of Triple X Sean Stevens grappling with MDK.]

SM V/O: Coming back from the break, the last of the one seeds in action in Los Angeles, plus, two of the remaining two seeds, and a funky match featuring a pornographic Viking. All when we return.

[Cut to a commercial for some movie that went straight to DVD.]

 

[TH]

[Cut back to the TEAM studios, close up of Steve Murray in front of a Donovan Astros/Fusenshoff inset.]

SM: Last year, this is where the Fusenshoff train, as a thirteenth seed, derailed. Of course, he ran into Dan Ryan, the eventual winner. Would the same fate befall him as a six seed this year against a former NAPW Champion and a star of similar caliber, the second seed in Minneapoils, Donovan Astros?

[Cut to the Target Center.]

SM V/O: The 'Hoff gets out of the gate early, nailing Astros with one, two, three elbows and then a Hornet splash. That'll certainly adjust the horizontal AND the vertical.

[Cut to Fusenshoff with Astros in a front headlock.]

SM V/O: Another high impact move here as Astros feels a swinging neckbreaker firsthand from the Desperate One.

[Cut to Fusenshoff setting up for another move.]

SM V/O: Fusenshoff looks to be in complete control, but Astros shows his lack of scruples with the eye rake, following that up with a kick to the gut and a DDT.

[Cut to Fusenshoff with Astros cradled.]

SM V/O: It didn't last all that long, as Fuse nails Astros with the Exploder.

[Cut to Astros kicking Fusenshoff in the gut.]

SM V/O: Astros on the comeback trail, nailing Fuse in the gut and hitting him with a butterfly suplex.

[Cut to Astros perching Fusenshoff on the second turnbuckle.]

SM V/O: Astros comes hard with a horizontal DDT, adding in some extra impact.

[Cut to Astros behind Fusenshoff.]

SM V/O: The former NAPW Champion here going old-school... really old-school, let's say Middle Ages Mexico... Aztec Suplex and a beauty.

[Cut to Astros behind Fusenshoff again, this time in a rear double chicken wing.]

SM V/O: Astros going for his patented Astrocide, but Fuse blocks it and drives Astros back into the corner, turning around quickly and hitting a desperation clothesline.

[Cut to Astros, head underneath Fusenhoff's armpit.]

SM V/O: But that was little more than a bump in the road for Astros, hitting The Hoff with a Northern Lights suplex.

[Cut to Astros with Fusenshoff in a front facelock.]

SM V/O: Astros going for his Astrolabe here, but Fusenshoff blocks it and transitions into an inverted atomic drop.

[Cut to Fusenshoff lifting up Astros.]

SM V/O: And the Hoff takes that momentum and parlays it into... Domination! Fuse gets the pin, and he lives on one round further than he lasted last year. Fusenshoff against Troy Douglas in the Minneapolis regional final.

[Cut to the Staples Center.]

TH V/O: Let's go to Los Angeles now, site of two Lakers' bloodbaths over the Nuggets. This match a much more competitive affair than that series. Number one Sean Stevens and the lowest seed remaining, the twelfth-seeded MDK. MDK starts out whipping Stevens into the ropes and hitting him with a Samoooooan Drop!

[Cut to Stevens running the ropes.]

TH V/O: Trip X galloping again, but this time on the offensive as he hits Danny Tenegra with the flying forearm.

[Cut to Stevens running the ropes again.]

TH V/O: The Blue Eyed Badass striking again, this time with a leg lariat. Look at the elevation on that one.

[Cut to MDK whipping Stevens off the ropes.]

TH V/O: Stevens spending a lot of time running in this match, again after getting whipped by MDK and transitioned into a powerslam.

[Cut to MDK with Stevens in a front headlock.]

TH V/O: And here, finally, Stevens not running, but MDK's got him corralled for uno, dos, Tres, Tres Amigos.

[Cut to Stevens on the top.]

TH V/O: But Stevens is too much for MDK, here nailing MDK with the top rope rana.

[Cut to Stevens lining up MDK.]

TH V/O: And you can't account for the X-Factor. That superkick knocking MDK clean out, and Stevens advances to the Los Angeles regional final.

[Cut to the Arena of Champions.]

SM V/O: Back to Orlando, who'll face Mike Randalls in the Orlando final? Second seed Chip Friendly or sixth-seeded Bryan Storms? Chip starts off the affair strong, hitting Storms with several strong right hands, although Chip maintained after the match that he was just trying to wipe off some barbecue sauce from Storm's mouth.

[Cut to Friendly with Storms in a half nelson, facing the corner.]

SM V/O: And again, Friendly taking shots at the face like he's wont to do, face smashes to the turnbuckle out of the half-nelson, and somewhere, backstage, Matt Johannsen is calling Storms' dentist.

[Cut to Friendly whipping Storms off the ropes.]

SM V/O: And more damage to the grill of Brian Storms with that knee to the face right out of the whip.

[Cut to Storms sizing up a woozy Friendly.]

SM V/O: Storms getting some face action of his own, hitting the Chipster with a Shining Wizard.

[Cut to Storms with Friendly in the corner.]

SM V/O: And here... Stormchaser (Discus elbow in the corner) and the Chipper is seeing rainbows and thunderheads.

[Cut to Friendly behind Storms.]

SM V/O: Chip gets in a short burst of offense here, nailing Storms with the forward Russian leg sweep. I guess that would be a Polish leg sweep?

TH V/O: Nope, a Polish leg sweep targets the arms.

SM V/O: Pulaski League, that was Tom Holzerman who said that, not me.

[Cut to Storms on the top rope.]

SM V/O: Storms back on the offensive here, hitting the Chipster with a moonsault.

[Cut to Storms with Friendly in a standing headscissors.]

SM V/O: And here, a Storm System sets up through Orlando as Storms hits Friendly with that swinging sitout powerbomb.

[Cut Storms on the top rope.]

SM V/O: Storms going for the kill here, but he's the one who ends up getting killed. The Eye of the Storm attempt misses and Chip Friendly gets up quickly, scoops up Storms for a quick Frownbuster, and Chip Friendly will go on to meet Mike Randalls in the Orlando final, the only region where both top seeds advance.

[Cut to the Staples Center.]

TH V/O: Alright, before I begin, I apologize to all Polish people out there. You guys are the best, I love your pierogies. Lech Walesa, respect. Alright, Los Angeles, the third seeded Stylin' Kyle Roberts against wrestling's only pornographic Viking, the seventh seeded Olvir Arsvinnar, and Kyle Roberts did a good job keeping the big guy off balance, peppering him with shots to the ribs.

[Cut to Roberts whipping Arsvinnar off the ropes.]

TH V/O: Another way to keep the big man off his feet is through leverage and momentum, and with this tilt-a-whirl backbreaker, Roberts does just that.

[Cut to Arsvinnar clubbing Roberts in the back.]

TH V/O: Of course, raw power accounts for something, right? A kick to the gut with his furry boot and several huge forearm shots to the back, and I don't think that Roberts is feeling all that good.

[Cut to Arsvinnar with Roberts in a military press.]

TH V/O: The Sexy Viking now in the gorilla press mode, doing lifts on Roberts, and that's no easy task on a guy that's over a deuce-fifty. Just as long as there are no cock pushups though.

[Cut to Roberts kicking out Arsvinnar's leg.]

TH V/O: The Stylin' One, taking a page of Mike Randalls' book and trying to take Olvir's vertical base away from him with those repeated kicks to his meaty ham hock of a leg.

[Cut to Arsvinnar whipping Roberts off the ropes.]

TH V/O: But the Big Viking is too much for Roberts, absolutely caving his chest in with that Mjolnir Blow and scoring the pinfall victory to meet Trip-X in the Los Angeles final.

[Cue up Led Zeppelin, "No Quarter." Cut to Ravager jawing with Larry Tact.]

TH V/O: So, who ends up on the other side of the ring of Jonathan Marx in the London regional? Will it be the Challenge Champion or the former FREE FOR ALL~! Champion? Find out after these messages.

[Cut to a commercial for Snickers, featuring ridiculous holidays incarnate.]

 

[TH]

[Cut right back to the action in the O2 Arena.]

TH V/O: Back in London, the second and third seeds, Ravager and Larry Tact, going at it. Tact opens this one up early with a vertical suplex and floatover. Nice technique, shows the former FFA~! Champ is versatile.

[Cut to Tact with Ravager in a front facelock.]

TH V/O: And here, a more savage variant on the suplex, a gordbuster, throwing down the smaller Ravager with a ton of force.

[Cut to Tact winding up to throw a punch.]

TH V/O: But if there's one thing about Ravager, he's resilient. Tact throws a right jab, but Ravager blocks it... and that's right, Tact doesn't block the ensuing three headbutts. Someone check Ravager for a steel plate in his head already!

[Cut to Tact with Ravager in an ab stretch.]

TH V/O: Tact back in control though, putting Ravager in that abdominal stretch that he transitions seamlessly into a side slam.

[Cut to Ravager kicking Tact in the gut.]

TH V/O: Still plenty of fight left in the Challenge Champion, kick to the gut and a DDT.

[Cut to Ravager behind Tact.]

TH V/O: And the Silent Assassin showing different ways to use leverage to his advantage picking Tact up and driving him down, blue thunder bomb style.

[Cut to Ravager with Tact in a front facelock.]

TH V/O: It looks like Ravager's got this thing all cinched up, but Tact counters the apparent brainbuster attempt into an inside cradle. He looks to have the pin, but at two, Ravager somehow shifts his body weight and rolls into a cradle of his own, stealing victory right from under Tact's nose. It will be Ravager against Jonathan Marx in the London final.

[Cut back to the studios.]

TH: Alright, that'll do it for us. I'm Tom Holzerman.

SM: And I'm Steve Murray. Be sure to tune in next time as we recap the Regional Finals and give you more information about SuperShow VIII.

TH: Until then, goodnight, everyone!

[Fade to

]

 

[TH]

Credits:

Writing: Holzerman
Judging: Holzerman, Pete Russo, Andrew Rossi, ChrisNova, Scooter Ray, Franklin the Flying Squirrel, (Don't Feed The) Siegel, Jarret Aubry, Stalker