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Kalamazoo Riptide 06

TBirdSCIL

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Jan 1, 2000
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(FADEIN: Backstage, Lady Veronica is standing next to "Showtime" Steven James)

Lady V: "Right now, I'm here with the ever ready, and every flirting Showtime Steven James. Mr. James..."

S.J.: "Woah woah woah, Veronica we've known each other for quite a while now, I think Steve is just fine."

Lady V: "Ok, Steve how do you feel about going into your first title match here in the GLCW? And not only facing off against anybody, but the Jobber who has been battle tested here quite often in the GLCW?"

S.J.: "You know that's a lovely eye shade you're wearing."

Lady V: "Uuumm, thanks. (she blushes) It's passion blue."

S.J.: "You know I love passion?"

Lady V: "Me too."

S.J.: "But to get back to your questions I am thrilled and excited that I finally have the opportunity to win my first championship belt here and I know that my opponent is ready but I also know that he's not fully focused. You see he's looking in the future but he should be concentrating on the present which will lead to his downfall and my victory. He wants to show no respect to me and think nothing of me well that's fine because 2 men will enter and only one will leave champion...and you're looking at him."

Lady V: "Thank you Steven James, and even though you probably don't need it, good luck."

S.J.: "Well thank you Vicky and just remember if any of these losers come on to you, just call."

Lady V: "I will, thanks."

S.J.: "You're welcome. And Veronica?"

Lady V: "Yeah?"

S.J.: "It's Showtime."

(Showtime slowly walks away from her, as Veronica is left standing there, a somewhat dreamy gaze in her eyes. CUTTO: Tony and Rick at the announce table)

TONY ROSS: "’Showtime’ Steven James continues to establish himself as a an up and coming star here in the GLCW. And now he seems to be making the moves on Lady Veronica."

RICK WISEMAN: "She was so captivated Tony that she didn’t even seem to mind when he called her Vicky. GLCW President Scott Malec may not be too thrilled with that since it's pretty well known that Lady V is his main squeeze. Let’s hope James is as good in the ring tonight as he was charming Lady V, as he enters into what is probably the biggest match of his young career tonight, as he goes for the GLCW Television Champion against The Jobber."

TONY ROSS: "This match should be interesting to see if the new kid in on the block can take away the title from the champion Jobber. Let’s get up to the ring!"

MATT FALEY: This match is scheduled for one fall, and is for the GLCW World Television Championship!!!! (crowd pops, CUEUP: "Another One Bites the Dust" by Queen) Coming to the ring, the challenger, weighing in at 240 lbs. from Warwick, Rhode Island, he is ‘SHOWTIME' STEVEN JAMES!!"

(the crowd pops as James comes to the ring, he has his hair brushed back, with a bright red sequined shirt and black full length pants that read "Showtime" down the leg, he plays to the crowd, pumping a fist in the air as he jumps over the turnbuckle, and ascends the buckle on the opposite side to a decent response, CUEUP: "Lawnmower" by Worthless United)

M.F.: "And his opponent, from Whitelandia, U.S.A., weighing in at 220 lbs., he is the Great Lakes Television Champion, THE JOBBER!!"

(Jobber gets a ton of heat from the crowd as he strolls to the ring, he wears his all black gear, with his hair slicked back, and his generally cocky demeanor across his face, he smiles as enters the ring)

T.R.: "And we’re ready to get underway here, as the two lock up, they each push off from each other, and we lock up again. Standing switch by James, another by Jobber, Jobber goes for a hiptoss, James blocks. James then switches again, and Jobber releases through into a drop toe hold, James rolls out, and the two are back to even footing as the crowd applauds."

R.W.: "Nice opening to the match here, as these two men attempt to feel each other out. They lock up again, and Jobber rakes James in the face and then successfully lands some rights to the face of James. He whips him into the corner and lands a knee to James’ midsection."

T.R.: "Jobber continues on the attack. James catches him though, and lands a few shots of his own, scoops up Jobber and slams him to the mat. James quickly ascends to the middle rope, and comes off but Jobber quickly moves out of the way."

R.W.: "Not only that Tony but it appears as though James jammed his knee on the way down, let’s see if Jobber noticed that, as James appears to be limping a bit."

T.R.: "Well, it’s obvious that Jobber did notice because he immediately shoulderblocks James right in that very knee. And now he repeatedly lands elbows into the left nee of James. This is what the Jobber specializes in, focusing on a weakness of his opponent, and exploiting it."

R.W.: "James is attempting to fight back, with one leg he lands in some shots to Jobber, a quick small package, 1-2-and Jobber easily kicks out and goes right back to work on that leg."

T.R.: "James again counters, running bulldog off of that left leg, 1-2-and again Jobber kicks out!"

R.W.: "It appears as though James’ new strategy is to try to end this match is soon as possible. It’s obvious he knows he’s in a world of trouble here. And now Jobber regains control and is dragging James to the ropes, he drapes his legs over the bottom rope and now begins sending his entire body’s weight down on top of that leg. James is screaming in agony!"

T.R.: "The referee is finally able to get Jobber off of the ropes, but he continues the assault. He charges in again but James continues to be resilient, crashing in an elbow to Jobber. He manages to scoop him up Jobber whips him in off the ropes though, and pulls down the bottom rope, sending James crashing to the outside."

R.W.: "It seems as though whenever James starts to get some momentum, Jobber just takes control once again, and now he is following James outside. And now he whips James straight into the ring post. James is taking a beating here, and in the beginning part of this match, he has already been neutralized to one leg."

T.R.: "Oh no! And now Jobber has thrown James back into the ring, and has his legs around the ring post. There it is! Figure 4 on the outside around the ring post. The Jobber is hanging there, with the referee trying to get him to release the hold, which he finally does."

R.W.: "That really seemed to take it out of James. And now Jobber is going for the jugular, he has the ring steps and he is going to jam this into the leg of Steven James! This would definitely cause an immediate disqualification!"

T.R.: "The Jobber doesn’t care about that Rick as he charges in and misses! James moved his leg just in time and Jobber went crashing into the post, Jobber is standing and dazed on the outside, and James drags him in from a sitting position. James goes for a roll-up! Feet on the ropes! 1-2-and Jobber kicks out!"

R.W.: "That definitely isn’t the move we were expecting from James, but it might show how desperate he is getting. He seems to be getting a burst of energy. He picks up Jobber, German suplex on one leg! A bridge, 1-2-and Jobber just kicks out!!"

T.R.: "Jobber is staggered but he manages to get back to his feet, and goes right back after that knee with a shoulderblock as James tried to make it to his feet. Jobber now bounces off the rope and drops a leg right on the knee of Steve James!"

R.W.: "James continues to fight back though, as the two begin trading punches, James gets the advantage, he goes for a back body drop, but his knee gave out, and Jobber reverses into a pinning predicament, 1-2-NO! Jobber picks him up into a slam position but James slides off the back, he picks up Jobber and this time manages enough strength to get the back body drop. Cover, 1-2-NO! James back up, but Jobber rolls through and locks in a half crab, and James is just able to scurry over to the ropes before that move was locked in!"

T.R.: "Both men back to their feet, and they again trade blows, Jobber picks up James and Hot Shots him across the top rope, cover, 1-2-and James shows his resiliency here! Jobber back up, DDT! 1-2-and again James kicks out!"

R.W.: "James continues to make it to his feet, Jobber off the ropes but James reverses it into a powerslam. James is now hobbling over to the top rope, what on Earth is he doing???"

T.R.: "James, on one leg and all, ascends the top rope, FLYING SPLASH CONNECTS! 1-2-2 and A HALF!!! Jobber just kicked out!!"

R.W.: "James might be smelling some blood here, but Jobber quickly comes back with another clothesline buying himself some time."

T.R.: "Here we go, both men to their feet, James is hobbling but putting up a fight, the crowd is in a buzz right now, as they have almost witnessed a new champion on several occasions!"

R.W.: "James makes it up to his feet first, he has Jobber in a piled river position, but Jobber reverses it, TIGER DRIVER!!! JOBBER JUST GOT THE TIGER DRIVER OUT OF NOWHERE!!"

T.R.: "And even more than that, he has locked in a stepover toe hold to that injured right knee! There is no way that James can withstand this! JAMES IS TAPPING OUT!!!"

MATT FALEY: "Here is your winner and STILL GLCW Television Champion....THE JOBBER!!! (CUEUP: "Lawnmower" by Worthless United)

T.R.: "What a match we have witnessed here tonight, and James fought hard even if it was mostly on one leg. But you have to give credit to The Jobber, he did what he does best, and he retained the title, much to the chagrin of this crowd."

(Jobber grabs his belt, and leaves the ring, much to the chagrin of the crowd, after he leaves the ring area, the shot of the wick is shown again, this time the wick completely goes out, and a cannon explodes)

R.W.: "What the--"

("Wonderboy" by Tenacious D begins playing as The Cannonball Kidd appears on the entrance ramp, microphone in hand)

T.R.: "It’s The Cannonball Kidd!! The Cannonball Kidd has arrived in GLCW!"

(Those in attendance who are familiar with him give a decent pop, he slowly moves the microphone to his mouth)

Cannonball Kidd: "Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. My name is Cannonball Kidd, and I'm here tonight to deliver...a message. You see, as some of you may know, I've recently spent a great deal of time away from wrestling as I wrestled with a gripping addiction to painkillers. Yes...I know it sounds terrible, and much of the time, it was. But it had a positive effect. For you see, now that I've defeated my addiction, I've finally achieved something that many of you will only be able to dream of - total self-actualization. I have learned to become the best person I can possibly be. And while I'm certain just by looking at all of you tonight that none of you could POSSIBLY be living up to his potential, that doesn't mean you're doomed to that lifestyle, because with my help, you too could achieve self-actualization. But unfortunately, tonight, I'm not here to help all of you...I'm here to help this poor soul in the ring.

(Cannonball starts making his way to the ring)

CK: "Mr. James, right now, I'm sure you're feeling pretty low about losing this Television Title match, and I'm sure you're wishing that there was something you could do to have an edge, something that would give you an edge if you got this opportunity again. Well, I'm happy to tell you that there is.

(He enters the ring and faces James)

CK: "Because you see, by listening to what I have to say, you can start yourself on the road to self-actualization and TRULY be the best you can be. I mean, look at you...right now, you clearly need all the help you can get. You're regarded by everyone as nothing more than a JOKE. All you do is spout the same tired old catch phrase over and over again. You, sir, PLAINLY lack the level of self-actualization that I have achieved. But fear not, because there's hope for you yet! Just listen to the message that I'm spreading, and you'll soon see that the way I've taken is truly the way for everyone!

(Extending his hand)

CK: "Whaddya say?

(James spits in his face as he tries to get to his feet)

CK: "All right...you've chosen not to do things my way, and that's fine. I won't force my method on you - I'm only trying to send a message."

(Cannonball flashes a thumbs-up sign at James. He starts to go, but instead levels the James with a devastating spinning roundhouse kick, then drags him to the corner and delivers a 450 splash. "Wonderboy" then cues up again as Cannonball smiles and leaves ringside to the boos of the crowd)

T.R.: "What on Earth was that? The Cannonball Kidd comes out and makes an invitation to Steven James, and after James refuses Kidd hits him with that move he calls the Crater Creator? What is going on here?"

R.W.: "I’m sure we’ll know soon enough, but in the mean time Cannonball has made his first impact in the GLCW. Right now though, let’s join Lady Veronica backstage!"

(CUTTO: Lady Veronica standing alone in the locker room area, Jarod Poe appears behind her, the crowd pops as they see Poe, but Lady V remains clueless)

JAROD POE: "Hello V!!!"

(She nearly jumps a foot as he catches her off guard)

LADY V: "JA..JA..."

J.P.: "Jarod...I scare you don't I V?"

LADY V: "Yes you do."

J.P.: "Well considering what has been going on I should be the least of your worries."

LADY V: "What do you mean?"

J.P.: "Well I'm not the man who is running around carrying off women...Manson is. do you really feel safe with him over his rocker tonight?"

Lady V: "But Krusher has..."

J.P.: "Krusher...Krusher has done nothing. Nothing to Manson for all his action..nothing to me for mine"

LADY V: "But he's locked.."

(Jarod snaps his fingers)

J.P.: "No...V...Manson could snap you up just like that. If for no other reason then to get further under the skin of Krusher. {smiles} Did you ever think of that?"

LADY V: "No."

J.P.: "Well you should {grins as he touches her hair) You never know what kind of psycho is walking around here tonight?"

(Jarod turns his back and walks off)

LADY V: "What about your match tonight?"

(Jarod turns around)

J.P.: "Well V...is there really ANYTHING left to talk about? I tell you this...V...when I pin both Golem and Manson tonight. Well then..."

(Walks closely to her)

J.P.: "Then you can come an get a quote from the new champion."

(Jarod smiles and walks off, fade to commercial)
 

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