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[LANGSTON] Attn: Calvin Carlton

BigPimpin

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“Heya Calvy, ya bald goofy [NO AUDIO].”

[Close-up on the face of Xavier Langston, with a stern, serious look on my face.]

“DA MAN” XAVIER LANGSTON:
You remind me o’ a movie I saw dis one time. Aliens vs. Predators.

Not because you look like an Alien, but fo’ another reason.

Dere was dis one scene where da Predator spared the life o’ an old man, because he was old an’ dyin. He wasn’t worth da energy. But dat man, he wanted ta die in da worst way. So he tried to set fire to da Predator, jus' like you whackin' me in da back wit' dat racket.

It didn't end well fo' dat guy.

When I get done wit' Cancer Man, it ain't gon' end well for you either.

Believe dat, li'l man.

[STATIC!]

[Blackness.]
 
Last edited:

EastPrez

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(FADEIN: To CALVIN CARLTON III, wearing a white linen suit with a pink 'deep V' neck underneath, with his white/pink-tinted blu-blockers hanging from it. On one shoulder is the NFW World Heavyweight title, which he is holding with a manner of struggle, and is nodding through a phone call, a Galaxy S-something or other sitting on his cheek. He cackles then ends the call by stabbing at the phone, then looks down at it)

CARLTON: "Xavier Langston, Not too long ago on social media, there was a story about some tattooed idiot and his mugshot that made everybody on the internet lose their minds. To dumb women out there, they thought this THUG in jailhouse orange was SEXY because of his facial features - EVEN THOUGH he was covered in stupid tats, and they even started a fund to get him out because 'he's too sexy to be in jail', nevermind the fact that he's a FELON. (Shakes head) Well you and that guy have a lot in common.

"And NO, I don't think you're good-looking, but I see what the SHEEPLE out there ingest on a daily basis, Langston, THOSE people don't know what is good for them anymore, if they ever did. And that brings me to YOU, you marble-mouthed CHROMAG. You think some sloppily-handled jail tats and a 7th grade reading comprehension is good enough to impress Calvin Jay Chalmers Carlton the Third? PSHAW! I THINK NOT! You are EXACTLY the kind of street trash my beautiful, wonderful Momma forbade me from befriending, and also the reason we have always had a gatehouse AND an iron security fence to keep YOUR TYPE away from me.

"You have been in this business for less than NOTHING and you think you can be in the air I breathe? Let alone think you can lay hands on PAT BLACK? You're laughable, Langston - your whole look, your need of a belt to hold your pants up, and the need for a speech therapist. You are undercooked, and UNDERDEVELOPED, and at BRAWL in Dallas, my client Pat Black is going to send you back to your job at Checkers where you belong, not here in the SPORT OF KINGS with men of class, substance, and STATURE. (sticks up his nose)

I'll tell Pat Black to take it easy on you, Langston, if he breaks your hands, how will you ever be able to keep your deep fryer job when we run you out of this business? (Cackles) Make better career decisions, Langston - stay in the kiddie pool with Ocho and Peter Windham, or suffer swimming out to the DEEP END where the WALKING DEAD will surely drown you and send your body back to the projects where you came from...

If you know how to swim at all."

(FADEOUT as CARLTON cackles evilly and turns his attention back to the NFW World championship.)
 

BigPimpin

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[OH THE STATIC AGAIN!]

[Kill the static and cold open to Xavier Langston, wearing a pair of South Pole Jeans, some Timberlands, and a black AND 1 T-shirt that reads "Don't Laugh; You're Next.". He's holding both hands up, palms facing away from the camera, much like a surgeon would as he's preparing for a surgery.]

"Da Man" Xavier Langston
Oh Cal, you quite da stuck up li'l bitch, ain'tcha?

You wanna talk about dese?

[Langston wiggles the fingers on both of his hands.]

"Da Man" Xavier Langston
Dese are the hands dat learned how ta swim by jumpin' into da Paterson River ta dodge flyin' bullets.

Dese are the hands that held da chair dat smashed Pat Black in the head, finally getting' his attention after weeks o' warnin' him ta pay attention ta me.

An' dese are the hands dat will spell da end o' da invincibility aura o' da Canca Man himself. I'mma take dat sucka by the scruf o' his neck and whoop DAT ASS like he tried ta steal from me.

[Its here that Langston puts his hands down at his sides.]

"Da Man" Xavier Langston
You wanna sit behind dat iron fence an' dat gatehouse an' insult my intelligence, dat's all well an' good. But come Reloaded, dere ain't gon' be no gatehouse between us, Cal. Dere ain't no iron fence ta hide behind. It'd be a shame if a random Space Flyin' Tiger Drop clipped ya right in da face, now wouldn't it?

[A grin appears on the face of Xavier Langston.]

"Da Man" Xavier Langston
Remember, I ain't started dis war between me an' Canca Man. I ain't da one dat tried ta slice me up like a Thanksgivin' turkey. I ain't da one dat cos me a shot at dat Triple Crown title wit a tennis racquet to da back.

But trust me when I say I'm an expert at endin' beefs in a way dat my enemies never forget.

All wit' dese two hands.

[The hands come up, but this time, they're clenched into fists.]

"Da Man" Xavier Langston
So when it comes time for' da Canca Man ta pay up fo' his sins, you bes' believe dat I'mma be da one dat collects payment from DAT ASS.

An' once ol' Pat Black is taken care of, dere ain't gon' be a fence tall enough, a river deep enough, or a rent-a-cop skilled enough dat's gon' keep me from throwin' DAT ASS in da deep end wit' all da sharks an' no lifeline comin'.

You ain't da firs' highly educated sucka dat's talked down ta me. Dey all paid fo' da privilege, an' dey ain't never done it again.

Looks like you gon' learn a life lesson da hard way.

Don't [NO AUDIO] wit' DA MAN...

Because his WILL...IS...LAW!

[Langston steps forward and throws a snap left jab at the camera, and as the jab hits the camera, we immediately cut to STATIC!]
 

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