Sculpting a New ERA
* Mr. Entertainment RP#2 for C06.
(((FADE IN to a statue of Mr Entertainment being sculpted. The statue shows the Oregon native in his ring attire with a leather jacket slung over his shoulder, the New ERA championship around his waist, and his left hand outstretched toward the future.
ZOOMING OUT we see the real Mr Entertainment leaning back against the wall as the sculptor goes about his work. The New ERA star is joined by Sam Baxter, interviewer to the stars)))
SB: Already getting a statue made? Isn’t that premature?
ME: Not at all, Sammy-boy. Cyberstrike Seven needs a fittin’ monument ta the New ERA Champion, an’ what better monument than the champs likeness carved in marble?
SB: I guess, but you’re not the champion.
ME: Not yet.
SB: And you might not be. Shawn’s no pushover.
ME: Who?
SB: Shawn Hart. New ERA champion.
ME: Shawn who?
SB: Hart.
ME: Oh! That guy! Mister, I’m hurt, I’m giving up the belt. Mister I’m too big an’ important ta thank the fans fer their support after winnin’ back the belt. That Shawn Hart?
SB: Yeah.
ME: He’s the champ in name only, Sammy-boy. Does he act like a champ? No. Have you heard from him since Battlebrawl? No. Has anyone seen him since he got back to his hotel room an’ put up a “Do Not Disturb” sign tha’ looked like it had a picture of a man screwing a turkey on it? No.
SB: Wait, what? I didn’t see that.
ME: What were ya doin’ standin’ outside Shawn Hart’s room?
SB: I… what… wait…
ME: I knew I should’ve gotten Jennifer in fer this.
SB: erm
ME: Listen, Sammy. Hand over the mic… that’s good. Good Sammy-boy. Now – go open that door. Go on, I’ll wait.
(((Baxter, rather confused, walks over to the door indicated. He turns and gets a nod from Mr Entertainment. There’s a quick knock on the door, and Sam opens it to reveal a New ERA camera man and Jennifer Harding, interviewer and sexual harassment suit waiting to happen.
SPLIT SCREEN as we get footage from both cameras, showing different shots. One is over Sam Baxter’s shoulder, the other over Jennifer’s, with Mr Entertainment stood in the middle)))
SB: What the
JH: Sam?! What’re you doing here? This was my interview!
SB: Your interview?! What’re you doing here? I was the one Mr Entertainment asked for
ME: That’s New ERA Champion, Mister Entertainment.
SB: I was the one New ERA Champion Mister Entertainment asked for!
JH: No, I was the one… I could’ve sworn that he called me about last night to set this up.
SB: But the office
ME: Ladies, ladies, Jennifer – let ME
Mister Entertainment
Champion of my New ERA interject and settle this. Sam, ask a question. Go on.
SB: What?
ME: I’m gonna beat Shawn Hart, obviously. Don’t ask dumb questions.
SB: But I
ME: (((interrupting))) Jen! Ask a question!
JH: What’s going on here?
ME: You’re trying ta conduct a professional interview with the real New ERA Champion, the Battlebrawl Champion, an’ the greatest entertainer on the PLANET! Sam, your turn.
SB: What
ME: (((interrupting))) You’ve asked tha’! Jen, final chance, ask away.
JH: (((confused, but starting to notice a pattern))) Mister Entertainment, you’ve said that the New ERA championship is wasted on Shawn Hart. Why do you think that?
ME: Good question. First, Sam, yer out! Camera guy can stay, but you, get outta here!
SB: What’s just happened?!
JH: You’ve been replaced, I think. Maybe next time you won’t steal my interviews!
SB: But I
ME: He ain’t gettin’ the hint. Switch ta one screen
(((The camera shifts to a single shot, just as Mr Entertainment launches a superkick at Baxter! The interviewer freezes as the kick stops just short, Mr Entertainment laughing)))
ME: Ya didn’t honestly think I’d hit ya, did ya, Sammy-boy? Now, get outta here an’ let Jennifer do her job.
SB: But
ME: Now, thank you.
(((Dejected, Sam leaves through the open door. Jennifer watches him go, before quickly turning and glaring at Mr Entertainment)))
ME: I know, I know. Overkill. But come on, you know yer the only interviewer fer ME
Mister Entertainment
The New ERA champion.
JH: Just don’t try to kick me, please.
ME: I need interviewers in my New ERA, don’t I? An’ yer such a pretty thing, it’s a pity you ain’t sittin’ out there next ta Natalie, ya know.
JH: Aw, you’re sweet. Ok, so where do you want to do this?
ME: That’s a bit forward!
JH: Oh gosh, I mean the interview! Sorry, sorry
ME: HA! I know what ya meant. I’m messin’ with ya. Yer kinda cute when ya blush.
JH: Oh… thank you
ME: Now, back to the interview.
JH: Hm? Oh! Right, sorry. Why do you call yourself the New ERA champion even though you haven’t won the belt yet?
ME: That’s simple, Jen. Because ya don’t need the belt ta be a true champion. Shawn’s only called the New ERA champion because he’s got the belt, an’ withou’ the belt he’s nothing. ME?
Mister Entertainment?
I am New ERA. I carry New ERA on my shoulders each time I step in front of a New ERA fan. I am the reason people tune in, I am the reason Battlebrawl was so successful, I’m the guy who gets folks talkin’. Not Shawn. ME.
Mister Entertainment.
So he can prance around with my New ERA championship, that doesn’t make him the true champ. Just a pretender ta the throne.
JH: But he is now a 3 time New ERA champion. Doesn’t that count for something?
ME: It counts as part o’ New ERA history, yeah. But that’s all. History. Not New ERA as it is now, not New ERA as the edifice it’s gonna become.
JH: So you’re saying you’re going to end Shawn Hart?
ME: If that’s what it takes, yeah. Sometimes you’ve gotta take the head off a flower so the plant survives an’ grows bigger an’ stronger. I’m kinda like a gardener in this match. I’m more than happy ta prune Hart so New ERA can grow stronger than ever.
JH: Ok. So, I know you’re planning on becoming New ERA champion, but I do have to ask, what if something goes wrong?
ME: What do ya mean?
JH: What if Shawn Hart manages to beat you? You know things can happen, I’m not saying it will but just in case, what’s your plan?
ME: Jennifer, Jennifer, Jennifer… let ME
Mister Entertainment
Ask ya something. How many matches did I win in a row last season?
JH: Three.
ME: An’ who won the Battlebrawl match?
JH: You did.
ME: And what was the prize fer doin’ either of them?
JH: A banked… oh! So you won Battlebrawl to be on the safe side?
ME: Now yer catchin’ on! See, I have it all figured out. On the chance tha’ Shawn cons someone inta interferin’, or the referee gets squashed by Hart’s muffin top an’ the match ends in cookie-dough, I can come back in a couple o’ weeks with a proper build up. Not just bein’ thrown out there ta save Marcus’ embarrassment.
JH: Wow… that’s some plan.
ME: But I don’t need it. No. Because at Cyberstrike I’m gonna do what the Wrestling Bieber couldn’t do. I’m gonna go out there, face Shawn Hart man ta man (which the Wrestling Bieber can’t do anyway), an’ walk away with the belt. I’m going inta this match the true champion of my New ERA, an’ walk out as New ERA champion.
And at Cyberstrike Seven, this here statue is gonna be presented to the WORLD, as the greatest wrestler an’ entertainer in history takes his place upon the throne in the edifice only I can build.
JH: Well, good luck! I can’t wait to see this statue finished.
ME: Ya won’t have ta wait long, don’t you worry. Because unlike Shawn, who’s nowhere ta be found, I know what New ERA is all about. It’s about the future. It’s about the fans. It’s about keeping beautiful women like you in work an’ outta the kitchen. And it’s about ME
Mister Entertainment.
Hopefully… I’ll see you, Shawn, at Cyberstrike.
(((FADE OUT)))