jediPREZ
Shadowboss
[updated:LAST EDITED ON May-02-02 AT 12:45 PM (EDT)] FADEIN: 4:00 AM - Las Vegas, NV. 'COCKY' CRAIG MILES is standing outside a 7-11 donned with a giant 7 pulsating with blinking carnival lights. MILES is wearing a Hawaiian style shirt unbuttoned, ripped blue jeans, no shoes and red Oakleys. In one hand he's holding a cigarette, in the other a disposable camera. A homeless guy with a shopping cart walks into the picture, looks at MILES who jumps at him 'causing the guy to run away down the sidewalk. MILES takes a picture of him…watches with a grin for a second and turns to the camera…
MILES: "You know Evan, maybe you're still a little wet behind the ears. Maybe you think The Professionals are a couple of guys that can talk the talk, but don't walk the walk. (MILES grins) And you know EVERY time I think about it…(MILES takes a drag) it gives me THAT much more satisfaction knowing that at Showtime, you and Shane don't stand ONE chance. Do you understand the level of the game you've walked into, Evan? You're not dealing with Steve Radder - some guy that used to clean toilets for me. The level of skill between Wicked Sight and myself or 'Hot Property' is comparing Double A to the PROFESSIONAL leagues, Aho. This ain't the minor leagues where you hang out with 'The Muffin Man'. See Aho, you may have the sheets fooled. You may have the purists believing you're the Great White Hype. But Evan my eyes are NOT deceived. My eyes don't see you as 'The Truth' or 'The Answer'. My eyes see you as the Alexander Karelin's of the world. The right man, in the right place at the right time. That's what won you that belt, Evan. I mean has anyone NOT noticed that Steve Radder has mysteriously disappeared? You know for a guy that must have influenced Simply Stunning's Days of Our Lives approach to wrestling, it’s a shame he never even ASKED for a rematch. Then are you thrown into the ring with Eddy Love? Eli Flair? Mike Randalls? No you're given the tour of cakewalk title defenses to make you look good…that's the fact, Aho. You've faced NOBODY worth the stink of my (BLEEP!) until NOW…"
MILES walks into the 7-11 and the camera follows him…he immediately takes one picture of the Clerk who's barely able to keep his eyes open and is drooling. MILES then stops and quizzically looks at an old woman, dressed in a sparkling gold nightgown and bad makeup zoned out on a slot machine…MILES takes a picture of her after shaking his head. MILES walks over to the clerk and smacks him over the head jolting him awake…
MILES: "C'mon chief! What do I need to do? Give you one of the free papers?"
CLERK: "Huh?"
MILES: "One pack Newport…(MILES then nods and grins) and one pack Camel…"
The clerk gives Miles the two packs, rings him up. MILES throws a bill on the counter, turns and starts walking out…
MILES: "See, Evan maybe you don't appreciate the art of Tag Team Wrestling. I've read your file, I've watched the tapes and to be honest, I'm not impressed. You study a lot. You pride yourself on being better than the other man. Classic case of the anal retentive, obsessive compulsive freaks that come around time to time trying to perfect the classic art of wrestling. In other words to me…(MILES pulls out a cigarette and flicks it into his mouth) a CLASSIC (BLEEP!)'IN waste of TIME. Maybe you don't care about the titles, maybe you don't think this type of match suits your overhyped self. I'm here to tell you that you can take your art and shove it straight up your (BLEEP!). Me and Hot Proprerty? We're well studied in the form of KICKING SOME (BLEEP!)'IN (BLEEP!). We don't STUDY it. We don't ANALYZE it. We don't PLAN it. For a Professional, you JUST DO IT. I can list off 20 weaknesses in my game, Aho. I can list 20 in yours. I can memorize them till my colon blows, but I don't. 'Cause when me and H.P. walk down that aisle and into that ring it's like watching the greatest show on Earth, the Showtime Lakers, Shaq and Kobe. When you and that Southern (BLEEP!) walk down that aisle, sooner or later when we're whipping you two like mules, you're both gonna be thinking by the prize YOU cradle so gently every night. Face the facts, Evan - You and Shane ain't PROFESSIONAL enough to stay in the game. Once you're down, the two of you ain't good enough friends to care about helping the other up. Naw, not with what's looming..."
MILES lights the cigarette and takes a drag…
MILES: "At Showtime, it's gonna take the two of you to dance together to even make me and Eddie break a sweat over how this match goes down. Wilcox and Hardy, WE OWN in that ring. Basically, they're our (BLEEP!)ES. See all you represent with Shane is a (BLEEP!)'in MUTT. Sure the two breeds apart are great, but when thrown together you're still just a (BLEEP!)'in mutt. Me and Hot Property? (MILES nods, smirks and takes a drag) We're a PROFESSIONALLY trained pure breed. And at Showtime, when you're out of your element in a tag match, having to trust the man you're teaming with no matter how much of a (BLEEP!)'IN me first attitude you've come to show - me and Eddie are gonna OUTCLASS, OUTSHINE and welcome you to the PROFESSIONAL leagues, PROFESSIONAL style with one (BLEEP!)'IN PROFESSIONAL HAZE. And Aho, it's gonna be PROFESSIONALLY satisfying to show you just what I got."
FADE TO BLACK….
MILES: "You know Evan, maybe you're still a little wet behind the ears. Maybe you think The Professionals are a couple of guys that can talk the talk, but don't walk the walk. (MILES grins) And you know EVERY time I think about it…(MILES takes a drag) it gives me THAT much more satisfaction knowing that at Showtime, you and Shane don't stand ONE chance. Do you understand the level of the game you've walked into, Evan? You're not dealing with Steve Radder - some guy that used to clean toilets for me. The level of skill between Wicked Sight and myself or 'Hot Property' is comparing Double A to the PROFESSIONAL leagues, Aho. This ain't the minor leagues where you hang out with 'The Muffin Man'. See Aho, you may have the sheets fooled. You may have the purists believing you're the Great White Hype. But Evan my eyes are NOT deceived. My eyes don't see you as 'The Truth' or 'The Answer'. My eyes see you as the Alexander Karelin's of the world. The right man, in the right place at the right time. That's what won you that belt, Evan. I mean has anyone NOT noticed that Steve Radder has mysteriously disappeared? You know for a guy that must have influenced Simply Stunning's Days of Our Lives approach to wrestling, it’s a shame he never even ASKED for a rematch. Then are you thrown into the ring with Eddy Love? Eli Flair? Mike Randalls? No you're given the tour of cakewalk title defenses to make you look good…that's the fact, Aho. You've faced NOBODY worth the stink of my (BLEEP!) until NOW…"
MILES walks into the 7-11 and the camera follows him…he immediately takes one picture of the Clerk who's barely able to keep his eyes open and is drooling. MILES then stops and quizzically looks at an old woman, dressed in a sparkling gold nightgown and bad makeup zoned out on a slot machine…MILES takes a picture of her after shaking his head. MILES walks over to the clerk and smacks him over the head jolting him awake…
MILES: "C'mon chief! What do I need to do? Give you one of the free papers?"
CLERK: "Huh?"
MILES: "One pack Newport…(MILES then nods and grins) and one pack Camel…"
The clerk gives Miles the two packs, rings him up. MILES throws a bill on the counter, turns and starts walking out…
MILES: "See, Evan maybe you don't appreciate the art of Tag Team Wrestling. I've read your file, I've watched the tapes and to be honest, I'm not impressed. You study a lot. You pride yourself on being better than the other man. Classic case of the anal retentive, obsessive compulsive freaks that come around time to time trying to perfect the classic art of wrestling. In other words to me…(MILES pulls out a cigarette and flicks it into his mouth) a CLASSIC (BLEEP!)'IN waste of TIME. Maybe you don't care about the titles, maybe you don't think this type of match suits your overhyped self. I'm here to tell you that you can take your art and shove it straight up your (BLEEP!). Me and Hot Proprerty? We're well studied in the form of KICKING SOME (BLEEP!)'IN (BLEEP!). We don't STUDY it. We don't ANALYZE it. We don't PLAN it. For a Professional, you JUST DO IT. I can list off 20 weaknesses in my game, Aho. I can list 20 in yours. I can memorize them till my colon blows, but I don't. 'Cause when me and H.P. walk down that aisle and into that ring it's like watching the greatest show on Earth, the Showtime Lakers, Shaq and Kobe. When you and that Southern (BLEEP!) walk down that aisle, sooner or later when we're whipping you two like mules, you're both gonna be thinking by the prize YOU cradle so gently every night. Face the facts, Evan - You and Shane ain't PROFESSIONAL enough to stay in the game. Once you're down, the two of you ain't good enough friends to care about helping the other up. Naw, not with what's looming..."
MILES lights the cigarette and takes a drag…
MILES: "At Showtime, it's gonna take the two of you to dance together to even make me and Eddie break a sweat over how this match goes down. Wilcox and Hardy, WE OWN in that ring. Basically, they're our (BLEEP!)ES. See all you represent with Shane is a (BLEEP!)'in MUTT. Sure the two breeds apart are great, but when thrown together you're still just a (BLEEP!)'in mutt. Me and Hot Property? (MILES nods, smirks and takes a drag) We're a PROFESSIONALLY trained pure breed. And at Showtime, when you're out of your element in a tag match, having to trust the man you're teaming with no matter how much of a (BLEEP!)'IN me first attitude you've come to show - me and Eddie are gonna OUTCLASS, OUTSHINE and welcome you to the PROFESSIONAL leagues, PROFESSIONAL style with one (BLEEP!)'IN PROFESSIONAL HAZE. And Aho, it's gonna be PROFESSIONALLY satisfying to show you just what I got."
FADE TO BLACK….