Muffins?

[Packschmid]

(FADEIN: GUNS sitting in the living room of his San Antonio ranch, holding the Greensboro Heavyweight title.)

GUNS: Well, I guess it was too much to hope for that Merritt would close this hellhole once and for all, so now that sweeps are over and we're back on the air, I've got to defend this prestigious championship against...

the Muffin Man?

It's almost as if Chad booked me in this match just to make me annoyed at the fact that I have to travel all the way to Virginia to kick this guy's ass. I guess these are the perks that go along with being the champion of the third largest city in the state of North Carolina.

So, this is the cross I have to bear - I took this belt just because I could, and now Merritt finally starts his payback. He's done letting me and Dan Ryan play off each other, but he's still a little reluctant to let me beat the crap out of any of the CSWA's finest. That's fine. Kin Hiroshi, Muffin Man, whatever you want to call yourself - there's a slight difference between us that needs to be cleared up. You throw muffins into the crowd - I toss punks like you into the third row. That pretty much clears the picture up for the viewers at home, in case there was any confusion after the CSWA's been off the air.

So, fine - I'll come to Virginia, I'll let the little Muffin Man get some token offense in, maybe he'll even score a two and a half to get the crowd going, and then I'll turn it up a notch and knock him into the middle of next week, stick him like a tack, pin him, and just for kicks make him a souvenir for some lucky - and I use that term pretty loosely in this case, because who the hell wants to take Kin Hiroshi home - fan, courtesy of Third Row, Inc.

And, Merritt, any time you want to line up some real competition, let me know. Thanks.

 

[DizzaHizza]

The shot fades in to Kin Hiroshi backstage at a GXW event. A ice bag is taped to his shoulder, and two more rest on his knees. A phsyical trainer slowly wraps tape around Hiroshi's ribs as he grimaces ever so slightly.

HIROSHI: You see what I have to go through to become a champion? I mean, come on, HellFighter should have stayed down a long time before I had to drop a Hiroshi-ma bomb from the top of the cage.

Now, not only do I have the opportunity for a number one contendership to the GXW Unified Title at Genesis, but I have the opportunity to become the Greensboro Champion here in CSWA at PrimeTime.

Who's my opposition? GUNS; and it seems he's more than a little annoyed with having to wrestle me.

GUNS, sure, I might be a joke to everyone in the back, whereever I throw down, but in personality and style only. Hell, when I step into a ring, I don't demand respect, I GET respect. I've heard what you've had to say about how the title was practically handed to you, and how no great opponents have stepped up to your 'awesomeness', as it were.

You know what we call people like you? Cocky as hell, and proud of it. It's time for you to be knocked off your high horse, and the Muffin Man is going to do it. Why? Because I will. Why? Because I can. Why? Because I AM the Muffin Man.

Sure, crack your jokes, poke fun of me, but when it comes down to it, after PrimeTime, we'll see who moves on to Battle of the Belts XVII as the Greensboro Champion.

I'll give you a hint who it is too. You're looking at him...

Now as for me 'throwing muffins into the crowd,' I don't believe I ever have done that. However, come PrimeTime I might have to do it to add some excitement to, what promises to be, a very one sided match. Now, the combination of me kicking your ass, and one of my companies delicious muffin is sure to please anyone out there watching you Frankenstein your way around the ring after me.

If you'll excuse me, I need to soak in the ice bath for a bit, and after that, it's on to CSWA's PRIMETIME to make sure that you know the answer to a very easy question...

Do YOU know the Muffin Man? Well, do ya'? Punk?

Fade To Gold

 

[Packschmid]

(FADEIN: GUNS sitting in his San Antonio ranch, looking marginally annoyed while holding the Greensboro title.)

GUNS: I mean, do we really have to do this? (Shakes head.) It could have been so simple, Kin - you could have accepted your fate quietly like the other run-of-the-mill curtain jerkers Merritt lines up to challenge for this hunk of tin - you could have shown up, got the crap kicked out of you, got your paycheck, and gone home. But instead, you had to be different, you had to open your mouth, and not only do I have to travel all the way to Richmond to break you in half, but I have to waste another minute of my life talking about doing it. (sighs.)

You call me cocky? Not really - I'm not about showboating. I show up, beat whoever happens to be across the ring from me, occassionally hurl them into the third row, pick up this belt, and go home. You demand respect? (Laughs.) When someone shoves a wooden stake through your knee, THAT demands respect. You putting up a good fight, actually making me break a sweat, and maybe even scoring a two count on me - that doesn't quite measure up.

You want to knock me off my high horse? (Chuckles.) Give it your best shot - at least it might make the trip worthwhile. But please don't kid yourself, son - the only way you're walking into Battle of the Belts with this hunk of tin is if I get annoyed with the hassle of going through airport security with it. The only way this belt is coming off of my waist is if I *ALLOW* it to happen, and you haven't asked me nicely enough.

Do I know the muffin man? No. I don't know you - I don't care about you - all I know is that you're unfortunate enough to be in the ring with me at Primetime - you're unfortunate enough to be standing on the tracks, and the train's about to roll through. You don't think I respect you? You're right. You think I'm going to take it easy because of that? You couldn't be more wrong. Richmond, Virginia, isn't my idea of a vacation spot, Kin, even if I am wrestling "The Muffin Man" - no, I'm not coming to play, I'm coming to work, and that's bad news for you.

I may not know the Muffin Man, but at Primetime, I'll tell you one thing - the Muffin Man is going to be introduced to the Strongest Arms in the World, and I promise, it won't be a pleasant evening.