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Nursery Rhymes

H

Hex Angel

Guest
"Eeenie Meenie Miney Moe. Which Eli Flair is going to show?"

FADE IN.... on "Total Elimination" Eli Flair. He's standing in front of a CSWA banner, wearing a Yankees jersey, a black T-shirt with the words "Original Nobody" printed on the front, and a black leather hat with the brim turned around. His hair is mostly covered, but there's a hint of blue on the left side.

"That's always the question, isn't it? I've had as many moods as nicknames in the span of the past seven years. King of Extreme. Lost Soul. Original Nobody. Drama Queen. Disposable Teen. Old Man. And, of course.... my personal favorite that unfortunately never got CSWA press before, the Amish People's Champion. A lot of names.... a lot of attitudes.... but there's something you should know."

"They're all crap."

"I've never been one to talk about things that are TRULY on my mind.... not in public, anyways. But that doesn't matter, since it was always readily apparent to anyone who could pay attention to the matches I wrestled, to the words I did share...."


Eli removes the cap and runs his hands through his hair, letting a good deal of it fall in his eyes for a second before he pushes it back again.

"So let's share some words. Do I want to step into the ring in New Orleans? Not on your life. A pair of buildings collapsed practically in my backyard. My best friend collectively gave this business the middle finger. My leg still has over a hundred stitches in it. Wrestling is certainly not the first thing on my mind."

"And yet.... there's the magic of something called a contract that can make you do things you normally wouldn't. I didn't wrestle in Tacoma, and Merritt actually understood my reasons. Likewise, I didn't get paid for the show, since I wasn't there."


Eli pulls a dollar bill out of his pocket and holds it in front of the camera.

"This is what New Orleans means to me.... it means I'm going to get a paycheck. It means I can start BEING again. Because I'll be honest with you.... this is not the kind of match I want to wrestle."

"I don't want to be partners with Mike Randalls and his fanatical point of view. He thinks I thrive on getting attention from whatever's going on in my life at the moment? If that was true, I wouldn't disappear for weeks at a time to get away from all the BS that comes with being in this business. Newsflash, Mikey.... there's more to life than living and dying."

"But how would you know.... when you've never lived?"

"I don't want to be wrestling Lawrence Stanley. He fell in love with the cheap hooker and paid for it.... he's a man with nothing to lose. And that makes him dangerous."

"I don't want to be wrestling Eddy Love.... Eddy still owes me one."


Eli pulls out an old issue of the CS Tribune, with a massive picture on the front page of Sweet Melissa going through a table.

"Eddy wants to collect? Fine. Eddy wants to blame me for the fact that he's bald, because 'we Claimstakers are all alike?' Fine. All of the above? None of the above? Fine. Just don't delude yourself into thinking I actually care, Eddy.... I don't."

"I don't give a sh*t if you're bald. I don't give a sh*t if you're building this toward another showdown with Hornet, with Randalls, with Powers, with Radder, with myself.... I don't give a sh*t if JJ Deville gives better head than Melissa, or if she can take three steps without feeling pain yet."

"I have news, Eddy.... you talk of setting things right? There is no 'right' in this situation.... every man in this match has the blood of the innocent on their hands. Every man in this match is going to have to answer for sins of the past. And I have a feeling.... every man in this match is going to pay for them very, very dearly."


Eli replaces his hat on his head and drops the Tribune.

"Poison Ivy once said that in the CSWA, it always comes back to Hornet. She was right and she was wrong. Y'see.... I might be able to coexist with Hornet in this match, provided he stays out of my reach. Even on one leg, I can make Hornet remember with glee, just how great it felt to be buried under two tons of brick and steel."

"I'm just sorry that it took me this long to realize what Hornet is. I'm just sorry that I actually let Hornet sucker me and mine in not once, but twice. Fool me once, Hornet, shame on you.... but fool me twice, shame on me. F**k with me just one more time, though.... and you'll know WHY they said I was too violent to be a role model."

"At least.... unlike Hornet.... Troy Windham will stab you in the front."

"Is this the ultimate showdown between the forces of good and evil? Who are the good guys? Who are the bad? Does it even matter anymore?"


Eli gets in REALLY close to the camera....

"Because I'll tell ya.... in New Orleans.... none of us are gonna get out alive."

FADE
 
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