fugginVOSS
The REAL Funk U. T-shirt
“Isn’t it time? Hmmm?”
FADE IN: on the inside of an ambulance. Sitting on the folded gurney is TEDDY ALEXANDER, wearing a LEYENDA DE OCHO “1UP” t-shirt with the sleeves crudely cut off. He tugs at his awesome beard. Not looking at the camera.
TEDDY ALEXANDER:
“Ocho, isn’t it time you sacked up, put da controller down and put your belt on da line? Isn’t it time?”
He eyeballs the camera. Face emotionless.
TEDDY ALEXANDER:
“If I haven’t proven ONCE… if I haven’t proven TWICE… if da proof wasn’t in me DIS – CLOSE…” (holds his finger and thumb millimetres apart) “…to breakin’ your fuckin’ spine then what more do you need? How else can I prove to you dat I deserve dat belt.”
Spits on the ground.
TEDDY ALEXANDER:
“NOT you. Not YOU, Leyenda. Not you. ME!”
Thumbs himself in the chest. He reaches across the vehicle and takes an oxygen mask, toying with it in his hands.
TEDDY ALEXANDER:
“If it wasn’t for da fact dat Mayfield decided to protect his investment and enlist da services of E-LEC-FUCKIN’-TRICITIY to stop me… Dat title might be vacant. Dat title might be mine for da takin’. Dat title wouldn’t be wrapped around your waist coz you’d be a rottin’ corpse in a wooden box six feet under da Goddamned GROUND!”
He puts the oxygen mask to his face.
TEDDY ALEXANDER:
“Is dis how you power up now? Is dis your future, Ley-Ley? Breathin’ through a fuckin’ tube?”
He puts the mask back on its hook and snickers.
TEDDY ALEXANDER:
“Leyenda, you need to make a decision. You need to sack up and make a decision. Are you goin’ to save your own life? Hmmm? Are you goin’ to save your OWN – LIFE and hand dat belt in to da front office? Hand it in and walk away? Hmmmm?”
Smile.
TEDDY ALEXANDER:
“Or are you gonna live out your death wish and put dat belt on da line against da SPINAL – SNAP – MONGER? Huh? What’s it gonna be, boy? Are you gonna dig deep down in da front of your strides and find a pair of titanium balls in a leather nutsack or are you gonna listen to your common sense and walk away…
“While you still can.”
Rising to his feet, ALEXANDER moves toward the camera, snarling like a mythological beast.
TEDDY ALEXANDER:
“Walk away, Ocho. Walk away before da next time you move its usin’ a little joystick. And dis time it ain’t for Super Mario Brothers, or whatever da fuck it is dat keeps you occupied in your little electric bed. It’ll be for movin’ ya damn wheelchair around.
“It is a bad decision for you to step inside a ring with me. You saw. You FELT it. Despite AAAALLLLLLLL those other people inside da ring, Ocho. Despite them all. I STILL singled you out. I STILL tore you apart. And I STILL won.
“And I’ll win again. And again. And again. Da longer you decide to hold dat Championship out of my reach da longer your beatin’ is gonna take.”
Shakes his head. Waggles his finger.
TEDDY ALEXANDER:
“I’m not fuckin’ around anymore, Ocho. Can’t you tell? Can you feel your feet yet?
“And I promise you now, it’ll take AAAAAALLLLLLLLLLL da electricity Eddie Mayfield can afford to stop me rippin’ your fuckin’ head off your shoulders.
“So do yourself a favour.
“Vacate da title.
“In da interest of your own health.”
Shrug.
TEDDY ALEXANDER:
“Coz if you don’t?”
Snarl.
TEDDY ALEXANDER:
“Let da bodies… HIT!... da floorrrrrrrrrrrrrr!”
FADE to BLACK!
FADE IN: on the inside of an ambulance. Sitting on the folded gurney is TEDDY ALEXANDER, wearing a LEYENDA DE OCHO “1UP” t-shirt with the sleeves crudely cut off. He tugs at his awesome beard. Not looking at the camera.
TEDDY ALEXANDER:
“Ocho, isn’t it time you sacked up, put da controller down and put your belt on da line? Isn’t it time?”
He eyeballs the camera. Face emotionless.
TEDDY ALEXANDER:
“If I haven’t proven ONCE… if I haven’t proven TWICE… if da proof wasn’t in me DIS – CLOSE…” (holds his finger and thumb millimetres apart) “…to breakin’ your fuckin’ spine then what more do you need? How else can I prove to you dat I deserve dat belt.”
Spits on the ground.
TEDDY ALEXANDER:
“NOT you. Not YOU, Leyenda. Not you. ME!”
Thumbs himself in the chest. He reaches across the vehicle and takes an oxygen mask, toying with it in his hands.
TEDDY ALEXANDER:
“If it wasn’t for da fact dat Mayfield decided to protect his investment and enlist da services of E-LEC-FUCKIN’-TRICITIY to stop me… Dat title might be vacant. Dat title might be mine for da takin’. Dat title wouldn’t be wrapped around your waist coz you’d be a rottin’ corpse in a wooden box six feet under da Goddamned GROUND!”
He puts the oxygen mask to his face.
TEDDY ALEXANDER:
“Is dis how you power up now? Is dis your future, Ley-Ley? Breathin’ through a fuckin’ tube?”
He puts the mask back on its hook and snickers.
TEDDY ALEXANDER:
“Leyenda, you need to make a decision. You need to sack up and make a decision. Are you goin’ to save your own life? Hmmm? Are you goin’ to save your OWN – LIFE and hand dat belt in to da front office? Hand it in and walk away? Hmmmm?”
Smile.
TEDDY ALEXANDER:
“Or are you gonna live out your death wish and put dat belt on da line against da SPINAL – SNAP – MONGER? Huh? What’s it gonna be, boy? Are you gonna dig deep down in da front of your strides and find a pair of titanium balls in a leather nutsack or are you gonna listen to your common sense and walk away…
“While you still can.”
Rising to his feet, ALEXANDER moves toward the camera, snarling like a mythological beast.
TEDDY ALEXANDER:
“Walk away, Ocho. Walk away before da next time you move its usin’ a little joystick. And dis time it ain’t for Super Mario Brothers, or whatever da fuck it is dat keeps you occupied in your little electric bed. It’ll be for movin’ ya damn wheelchair around.
“It is a bad decision for you to step inside a ring with me. You saw. You FELT it. Despite AAAALLLLLLLL those other people inside da ring, Ocho. Despite them all. I STILL singled you out. I STILL tore you apart. And I STILL won.
“And I’ll win again. And again. And again. Da longer you decide to hold dat Championship out of my reach da longer your beatin’ is gonna take.”
Shakes his head. Waggles his finger.
TEDDY ALEXANDER:
“I’m not fuckin’ around anymore, Ocho. Can’t you tell? Can you feel your feet yet?
“And I promise you now, it’ll take AAAAAALLLLLLLLLLL da electricity Eddie Mayfield can afford to stop me rippin’ your fuckin’ head off your shoulders.
“So do yourself a favour.
“Vacate da title.
“In da interest of your own health.”
Shrug.
TEDDY ALEXANDER:
“Coz if you don’t?”
Snarl.
TEDDY ALEXANDER:
“Let da bodies… HIT!... da floorrrrrrrrrrrrrr!”
FADE to BLACK!