Pencils Down!

[LQJT86C]

Alright, the deadline passed some two hours ago. We're now entering production mode! (POP!)

I'm not gonna give you day by day updates on what's done because, well, I don't feel like it. In the event that a card is late, I'll do that, but my goal is to produce on-time cards all year. Lofty, yes, but I feel like Mike and I are perfectly capable of it, even during the busiest of times. We'll see. As for FNV 01, this sh*t's coming out early most likely. I'm gonna take an educated guess and say the card will be up on Wednesday, possibly even Tuesday night. Lots of football this weekend, so Mike will basically be locked up for days, biting his nails as he lives and dies by the betting line (and by the Jets' secondary). Seriously, Greenie ain't a f*ckin' gimmick- that's just Mike Stanton under a pseudonym.

All the sh*t that ain't a match is DONE, save for segments owed to me by Ross and Gregg. If I can get those before Wednesday, the card will be up then. If not, then we have until Friday before you guys can start calling for my head.

I am thrilled with the RP turnout, save for one (you know who you are, b*tch!). Devin and Josh rocked the f*cking house, showing once again why they're two of the best. The rest of you guys did great too, and the scary part is, some of our best writers were on the BENCH for this one! Needless to say, I'm excited to get Gregg, Ross, Miller, and a few others booked on FNV 02. New RP threads will be up as soon as the card's posted, Friday at the latest.

Enjoy the NFL wild card playoffs, and may the force be with you! (And also with you)

 

[The Great Eye]

(FADEIN: Green Machine some random older man wearing a Raiders's cap hanging out at the Sportsbook at Excalibur.)

OLD MAN: I listened to you, I'm betting Mark Sanchez on the road in the playoffs...I just threw up in my mouth...

GREENIE: A feeling of mind nausea is to be expected after betting on the Jets...If you experience thoughts of self harm, or suicide, stop betting on the New York Jets and contact your sportsbook immediately. Betting on the New York Jets is not for everyone, talk to your degenerate gambling friend first to see if you are healthy enough to bet on the New York Jets....

OLD MAN: Bah, enough with your jokes.

GREENIE: What?! Those commericals drive me nuts, seriously if my reflection started whining at me that my dick was broken, I'd have a lot more to be concerned about then my love life...

OLD MAN: If this loses I ain't backing anything you pick again...

GREENIE: You say that all the time...

OLD MAN: I should say it more often, you and your fraud team that only ever won anything because the refs jobbed us.

GREENIE: Hey if you ever need to watch the video to see Woodson's illegal head slap to Brady that caused everything...Then you'll know the truth...

OLD MAN: The truth is Al Davis needs to die so the NFL will stop hating us...Now shut up and lemme lost the money you've cost me.

(FADEOUT)

 

[PaulNJ21]

I'm hoping Rex Ryan's winning strategy of the opposing team resting their starters in the second half pays off yet against the Bengals.

J-E-T-S! JETS! JETS! JETS!

 

[Throbbin Wood]

J-E-T-S! JETS! JETS! JETS!

This. Praise Revis Christ!

 

[The Great Eye]

(CUTTO: The sportsbook, again Greenie and the old Raider's fan are there. Greenie is counting out a large stack of 100's.)

OLD MAN: You're really gonna put even more on Dallas? Seriously?

GREENIE: When you're hot you gotta press! America's team is coming through! Look, did I steer you wrong on the Jets?

OLD MAN: Would have been a game if that kicker wasn't horsesh*t...

GREENIE: Coulda woulda shoulda, Jets were a pipe, Cowboys are a pipe, now press your bet you wimp...

OLD MAN: Hell with that...(Man goes up to the window, a young asian guy with a name tag reading "James" stands there, he takes the old man's ticket.)

JAMES: OK, bet 2200 to win 2000, you got 4200...Any wagers?

OLD MAN: (Mumbles) Hmmm...Put 1100 on 104...

(James strikes a few keys, "Cowboys -3.5" pops up on his register display.)

JAMES: That's all?

OLD MAN: Yes, gimme the rest in 100's...

GREENIE: You wimp!

OLD MAN: Look, I want to have a win, it's hard to do that around you...

GREENIE: I'm gonna have a huge win tonight...You, you frigging buzz kill...Look at all that money (Points to the money James is counting out) that could all be doubled if you just trusted in the God Arm of Tony Romo...

OLD MAN: I made my money betting friggin' Sanchez, I count myself lucky, that you got 1100 of this money out of me is a crime!

GREENIE: Bah, you'll regret this.

(The man takes his ticket, pulls out a rubber band and counts his money. Greenie hits the window. and slides his ticket over.)

JAMES: 5500 for 5000...You have 10500...What you want?

GREENIE: 104 for all of it and here's 6000 more...Make it 16500 to win 15000...

(James looks over to a suit in the the back, who flashes a thumps up)

JAMES: Good luck sir.

GREENIE: I don't need it baby! Cowboys are a pipe!

(GREENIE turns and yells to the crowd in the book.)

GREENIE: HOW 'BOUT THEM COWBOYS!

(The book, as most are, is full of Cowboys fans, who roar in approval.)

OLD MAN: How does anyone live with you?

GREENIE: On the beds of money I make 'em...Now I gotta hunt some props, first half total, first to score...Lotta work to do...

(the old man shakes his head...FADEOUT)

 

[The Great Eye]

(FADEIN: Greenie and the old raiders fan sitting in their chairs at the Excalibur sportsbook.)

OLD MAN: So you really only bet 2200 on the Patriots? I thought a guy like you couldn't live without big action, this, this isn't even a tickle.

GREENIE: This whole year just weirds me out, our coach losing his mind and going for it on 4th and 2...Welker playing that meaningless game and shredding his knee...I mean, I still think they win, but I hate the ju-ju of it all.

OLD MAN: The ju-ju.

GREENIE: Yes, I don't like it...I mean, I could have...Not bet this game...(Laughs) oh who am I kidding, I had to bet it, but still...

OLD MAN: Bets based on ju-ju...I'm sad I ever doubted you.

(FADEOUT)

 

[The Great Eye]

(FADEIN: Greenie, doubled over in his chair, watching the game.)

GREENIE: Make this kick, come on, come on...AHHHHHHH...(roar from the Ravens fans in the book) That's it, dammit...Friggin everything...

OLD MAN: You were dead from the first quarter.

GREENIE: We were dead from 4th and 2, why didn't Belichick punt?! AHHHH!!! Oh well, it's only an emotional loss really, I got all my money on the Packers...All my winnings from yesterday and 5,000 more.

OLD MAN: You know everyone's moved that line like 5 points, whole world thinks the Packers are going to win, they usually are wrong.

GREENIE: Not tonight! Pack in a rout!

OLD MAN: If you say so. I can't bet a number that's moved that match.

GREENIE: Oh you coward, get on the free money express that is Aaron Rodgers and company! I got you two big wins yesterday, this is the biggest yet!

OLD MAN: I'll take a dime or so on the over, but I ain't touching a side...

GREENIE: Wimp...(stands up, yells) GO PACK GO!

(Packers fans cheer...FADEOUT)

 

[The Great Eye]

(FADEIN: The sportsbook.)

GREENIE: Come on...They have to go for it on 4th if they don't get this, they can't stop the Cards...Come on Rodgers...Ahhh...THROW IT!!! (Loud groans from the large collection of Packers fans, the smaller cardinals fan b NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooo...(Horrible inhuman gurgling noises...Far away catatonic stare)

(Time passes, maybe a half hour or so, Greenie's now slumped over.)

GREENIE: OK...I can sell the car...She won't know about it and I'll be back in the game for next week...This CAN'T happen again...Next week...Greenie's revenge!

(FADEOUT)