User Poets
The Shadow Pope
- Joined
- Jan 6, 1995
- Messages
- 2,192
- Points
- 36
- Age
- 44
- Location
- Top of the Pile
- Website
- www.valeriansgarden.com
"I dunno if anyone's really noticed, but while y'all were out there mackin' to secretaries and teenaged girls in airports, Troy Windham made his presence felt. With a vengeance. While y'all were tryin' your damnedest to do... well... the only thing you know how t'do, and that's toss out some generic rhetoric that puts you in the 'Puny Human, JAY SMASH!' category... Troy Windham reminded y'all why he's the UNIFIED Champion.
"Which brings me... to me."
FADEIN: The Warsaw, a small club in Brooklyn, NY. Backstage. In the lower left - hand corner of the screen, a bunch of kids can be seen standing around, waiting for something to happen. Straight back, partially obscured, is a gigantic banner with a Pagan Crucifix painted on it, a drum kit, a station with three keyboards set up, a guitar stand with a guitar in it, a guitar stand with a bass in it, and two microphones.
Blocking the view, mostly, is former CSWA, fWo, and Asylum World Heavyweight Champion, the recently retired 'Total Elimination' Eli Flair. He's dressed in a sleeveless 'W.W.A.D.' vintage shirt, pale green cargo shorts, and had his hair behind his ears. There was air conditioning in the building, but he'd been doing manual labor and the sweat was easily picked out.
In the background, a mix of various music can be heard. The pre-gig mix is fairly eclectic; at the moment, 'Take a Look' by Sal's Birdland is playing through the system.
"I woke up this morning in my own bed for once, and took a fairly painless subway ride down here with my lovely wife and adorable daughter in order to make sure load - in for the Valerian's Garden gig went smoothly. I was looking forward to going home after the show and having some quiet time with my family. A dozen f'kin years on the road, after all... and you tend to treasure all the quiet time y'can get your hands on."
"But my plan was a good one, and it was set to go off without a hitch, until the Garden's manager and mine own, and my best friend, Ivy McGinnis, told me that she needed to talk to me about the CSWA. That's usually a bad sign. Ivy says that there's this Gold Rush match scheduled, and my second thought, just after 'What the hell is a Gold Rush match?' was 'So what?' Then she told me that the ultimate prize was Troy Windham's UNIFIED Championship belt."
"That piqued my interest."
"And, of course, she mentioned most of the jokers that've already introduced themselves. Some I'd never heard of, some I nodded at, and most I just laughed at. Then she tried to slip in the fact that she told Thomas I would be a part of it. Ivy is a silly girl sometimes, not truly comprehending the meaning of the word 'Retired'. I was serious about retiring when I wrestled my last match for the fWo, I was serious about retiring when I wrestled my last match for the CSWA. And I'm serious about NFW Season Two and the playoffs being the last run for me. I've been doing this since ninety-four, and I've had enough."
"But Troy Windham and the UNIFIED title... that's too good to pass up. Troy Windham insulted me, insulted my wife, and insulted the NFW when he stepped out, cutting my revenge short and disrespecting the ULTRATITLE. The least I can do is cause him to lose the only real thing he's got in his life anymore beyond a nasty rash."
"So... this thing is open to anyone. This thing is supposed to put the CSWA back on the map. Well, I'm not asking - I'm telling Stephen Thomas that the King of Extreme, the Original Nobody, 'Total Elimination' Eli Flair is coming home for just one more night. There's some people involved in this Gold Rush match that... just don't deserve to be in the CSWA. And since everyone is fighting with Troy, it's quite possible one or two of 'em could destroy everything the CSWA stands for. I can't let that happen."
"So, despite my better judgement, Ivy talked me into it. But then she started downloading all the promo cuts... and I mysteriously started to limp."
He laughed, picked up a bottle of water from off - camera, and took a swig.
"Eron, you should really know that age jokes were never avant garde in the CSWA, about the CSWA, or around the CSWA. It's one thing to make a joke about fortysomething Melton - until he pins your ass in the middle of the ring - but it's another to take Troy, a nineteen year old rookie in 1993, and call him old, just because he's been wrestling for thirteen years. That's not age, Relentless, that's staying power. I realize it's an alien concept to you: you've spent the past seven years jumping from promotion to promotion with the previous promotion's scandal as your only real draw. Yeah, you kicked my ass all around after I pinned you in our only match, to date... but then what? A victory over Eli Flair is a pretty major f'kin' deal, Relentless... where did you take it? I'll tell you where I went - to Creed, to Crisp, and to the fWo World Championship."
"Your path, the one you bragged to Ivy about... didn't lead much of anywhere, did it? If you were truly a professional, you'd know that the measure of a man isn't the individual match, but where that match takes you. I know, you think you're above this whole UNIFIED title thing, but trust me... your bragging slapped against your production leaves you in a position with a lotta s*** to prove."
"Xias, anything I say to you is just Eron mark 2. The only difference is that you have victories over me that you didn't do anything with. Your chances in this match are none and less than none. Your only chance is to be in a different starting ring than mine. You might take down all the losers and the shrikes you're initially stuck with, but once we hit the center ring, first Troy is eliminated, then all the pretenders to the throne, starting with you and Relentless. When I first heard of you, Xias, I thought, this guy has a reputation, he's gotta have something to've earned it. But then you started to wrestle in front of me on a regular basis, and that's where you lost me."
"The truth is that the emperor has no clothes, and the bill'a goods that Xias wants you to buy is a K-Mart discount version of what Keith Scott Zimmerman is sellin'... only without a money back guarantee. What's the train of thought, Xias, that leads you from the wrestling promotion with the biggest market share in the world, to a promotion whose only fans are the ones who are actually too square for a Star Trek convention, to claims of being the most controversial wrestler in history? After Craig Miles, Eddie Mayfield, Troy himself, the DRS, Poopman Bob Praxis, GUNS, Dr. Silver, Felix Red, Michael Manson, and Jim Williams... you don't even place in the top ten. If that's your only claim to fame you'd better get to the historical revisionsim, post- haste, because you're gonna look mighty silly at ANNIVERSARY with a blank piece'a paper and an empty cup."
"K-9... ... ... ... ... you've picked a helluva time t'try and make a comeback. Just sit down, shut up, and watch how the professionals do it. You'll have a chance at immortality someday, when the real heavyweight players of the day are out of it."
"Joey, stop with the old-man pose. I know you're insecure over the fact that your chick is a World Champion while you're in the middle of a mid - life crisis, but you're still better at this sport than ninety percent of the participants. In fact, if you don't make it to the final ring I'm going to personally break at least one of your bones over in the Ultratitle playoffs. And it's nothing personal with you, Joey, or you, Lindsay... I've got no problems with either of you and nothing beyond professional competition with you, Joey... but this is something I have to do. Unfortunately, you're both indirectly in my way."
"Much the same is Mr. Daniel Ryan. We've spoken, Ryan... and we've circled around each other on more than one occasion, but it never translated into an actual match. I hope - nay, demand - that this GOLD RUSH changes things. For a match - for five minutes, I want the chance to lock up with the Ego Buster on neutral ground and see what he's got t'offer. I wanna be able to say 'This kid's got it... we can step away now and know that the CSWA is gunna have a decent future.' I think I'll be able to say that, Danny... but I wanna be able to say it."
Of course, the UNIFIED title isn't the only belt on the line. Every CSWA title is on the line in this match, and the Greensboro is the only one I haven't held before. But, since this is a one shot deal for me, winning a lesser title doesn't do any good for me, the CSWA, or the people I'm going to beat. Therefore... I'm claiming the fourth ring as my own. After all, isn't the chance for a victory over Eli Flair just as good as a title belt? Disregard Xias, a professional with talent can take the victory and do something with it. A professional with talent can get beat by Eli Flair and do something with it. I'm not asking, Stephen... I'm telling you where I'm gonna be in this one. Try and tell me otherwise, I dare ya."
As 'California Love' by Tupac starts to play on the system, and the lights start to dim, Eli moves the camera over a bit to get out of the band's way. This is always the last song on the mix before the band hits the stage.
"Ivy has a legitimate grievance, Troy... to walk out of this GOLD RUSH match with the UNIFIED title over your shoulder would truly paint you as possibly the greatest UNIFIED Champion of all time. Despite the skills of the other wrestlers in this match, to walk in against more than twenty opponents and walk out with the same belt over your shoulder is a feat that I don't think can be duplicated. And Ivy has told me, point blank, she can't deal with a CSWA where Troy Windham is the greatest champion in the company's history. This puts me in a bit of a unique situation."
"I'd love to be the UNIFIED Champion, Troy... but all I care about is hurting you. All I care about is f**kin' with you. So, win or lose, all I care about is making sure you don't walk out of the GOLD RUSH with the UNIFIED title over your shoulder. No matter who takes it, you lose it."
"That's a goal that'll be really f**k easy to reach. I can use as many of these losers as I want t'accomplish this goal, and I don't care if you're able to cry foul over multiple opponents costing you the belt. I don't care if it takes everyone in this match to take the belt from you. The important thing is to take it."
"But you'll know... without a glimmer of doubt... that you lost that belt because of Eli Flair. And I give you exactly two choices, Troy. Either stop me, or shut the f**k up." I don't believe you'll do the one, but you'll have to earn the other."
"And you know, statistically... the odds are against you on that."
FADE
"Which brings me... to me."
FADEIN: The Warsaw, a small club in Brooklyn, NY. Backstage. In the lower left - hand corner of the screen, a bunch of kids can be seen standing around, waiting for something to happen. Straight back, partially obscured, is a gigantic banner with a Pagan Crucifix painted on it, a drum kit, a station with three keyboards set up, a guitar stand with a guitar in it, a guitar stand with a bass in it, and two microphones.
Blocking the view, mostly, is former CSWA, fWo, and Asylum World Heavyweight Champion, the recently retired 'Total Elimination' Eli Flair. He's dressed in a sleeveless 'W.W.A.D.' vintage shirt, pale green cargo shorts, and had his hair behind his ears. There was air conditioning in the building, but he'd been doing manual labor and the sweat was easily picked out.
In the background, a mix of various music can be heard. The pre-gig mix is fairly eclectic; at the moment, 'Take a Look' by Sal's Birdland is playing through the system.
"I woke up this morning in my own bed for once, and took a fairly painless subway ride down here with my lovely wife and adorable daughter in order to make sure load - in for the Valerian's Garden gig went smoothly. I was looking forward to going home after the show and having some quiet time with my family. A dozen f'kin years on the road, after all... and you tend to treasure all the quiet time y'can get your hands on."
"But my plan was a good one, and it was set to go off without a hitch, until the Garden's manager and mine own, and my best friend, Ivy McGinnis, told me that she needed to talk to me about the CSWA. That's usually a bad sign. Ivy says that there's this Gold Rush match scheduled, and my second thought, just after 'What the hell is a Gold Rush match?' was 'So what?' Then she told me that the ultimate prize was Troy Windham's UNIFIED Championship belt."
"That piqued my interest."
"And, of course, she mentioned most of the jokers that've already introduced themselves. Some I'd never heard of, some I nodded at, and most I just laughed at. Then she tried to slip in the fact that she told Thomas I would be a part of it. Ivy is a silly girl sometimes, not truly comprehending the meaning of the word 'Retired'. I was serious about retiring when I wrestled my last match for the fWo, I was serious about retiring when I wrestled my last match for the CSWA. And I'm serious about NFW Season Two and the playoffs being the last run for me. I've been doing this since ninety-four, and I've had enough."
"But Troy Windham and the UNIFIED title... that's too good to pass up. Troy Windham insulted me, insulted my wife, and insulted the NFW when he stepped out, cutting my revenge short and disrespecting the ULTRATITLE. The least I can do is cause him to lose the only real thing he's got in his life anymore beyond a nasty rash."
"So... this thing is open to anyone. This thing is supposed to put the CSWA back on the map. Well, I'm not asking - I'm telling Stephen Thomas that the King of Extreme, the Original Nobody, 'Total Elimination' Eli Flair is coming home for just one more night. There's some people involved in this Gold Rush match that... just don't deserve to be in the CSWA. And since everyone is fighting with Troy, it's quite possible one or two of 'em could destroy everything the CSWA stands for. I can't let that happen."
"So, despite my better judgement, Ivy talked me into it. But then she started downloading all the promo cuts... and I mysteriously started to limp."
He laughed, picked up a bottle of water from off - camera, and took a swig.
"Eron, you should really know that age jokes were never avant garde in the CSWA, about the CSWA, or around the CSWA. It's one thing to make a joke about fortysomething Melton - until he pins your ass in the middle of the ring - but it's another to take Troy, a nineteen year old rookie in 1993, and call him old, just because he's been wrestling for thirteen years. That's not age, Relentless, that's staying power. I realize it's an alien concept to you: you've spent the past seven years jumping from promotion to promotion with the previous promotion's scandal as your only real draw. Yeah, you kicked my ass all around after I pinned you in our only match, to date... but then what? A victory over Eli Flair is a pretty major f'kin' deal, Relentless... where did you take it? I'll tell you where I went - to Creed, to Crisp, and to the fWo World Championship."
"Your path, the one you bragged to Ivy about... didn't lead much of anywhere, did it? If you were truly a professional, you'd know that the measure of a man isn't the individual match, but where that match takes you. I know, you think you're above this whole UNIFIED title thing, but trust me... your bragging slapped against your production leaves you in a position with a lotta s*** to prove."
"Xias, anything I say to you is just Eron mark 2. The only difference is that you have victories over me that you didn't do anything with. Your chances in this match are none and less than none. Your only chance is to be in a different starting ring than mine. You might take down all the losers and the shrikes you're initially stuck with, but once we hit the center ring, first Troy is eliminated, then all the pretenders to the throne, starting with you and Relentless. When I first heard of you, Xias, I thought, this guy has a reputation, he's gotta have something to've earned it. But then you started to wrestle in front of me on a regular basis, and that's where you lost me."
"The truth is that the emperor has no clothes, and the bill'a goods that Xias wants you to buy is a K-Mart discount version of what Keith Scott Zimmerman is sellin'... only without a money back guarantee. What's the train of thought, Xias, that leads you from the wrestling promotion with the biggest market share in the world, to a promotion whose only fans are the ones who are actually too square for a Star Trek convention, to claims of being the most controversial wrestler in history? After Craig Miles, Eddie Mayfield, Troy himself, the DRS, Poopman Bob Praxis, GUNS, Dr. Silver, Felix Red, Michael Manson, and Jim Williams... you don't even place in the top ten. If that's your only claim to fame you'd better get to the historical revisionsim, post- haste, because you're gonna look mighty silly at ANNIVERSARY with a blank piece'a paper and an empty cup."
"K-9... ... ... ... ... you've picked a helluva time t'try and make a comeback. Just sit down, shut up, and watch how the professionals do it. You'll have a chance at immortality someday, when the real heavyweight players of the day are out of it."
"Joey, stop with the old-man pose. I know you're insecure over the fact that your chick is a World Champion while you're in the middle of a mid - life crisis, but you're still better at this sport than ninety percent of the participants. In fact, if you don't make it to the final ring I'm going to personally break at least one of your bones over in the Ultratitle playoffs. And it's nothing personal with you, Joey, or you, Lindsay... I've got no problems with either of you and nothing beyond professional competition with you, Joey... but this is something I have to do. Unfortunately, you're both indirectly in my way."
"Much the same is Mr. Daniel Ryan. We've spoken, Ryan... and we've circled around each other on more than one occasion, but it never translated into an actual match. I hope - nay, demand - that this GOLD RUSH changes things. For a match - for five minutes, I want the chance to lock up with the Ego Buster on neutral ground and see what he's got t'offer. I wanna be able to say 'This kid's got it... we can step away now and know that the CSWA is gunna have a decent future.' I think I'll be able to say that, Danny... but I wanna be able to say it."
Of course, the UNIFIED title isn't the only belt on the line. Every CSWA title is on the line in this match, and the Greensboro is the only one I haven't held before. But, since this is a one shot deal for me, winning a lesser title doesn't do any good for me, the CSWA, or the people I'm going to beat. Therefore... I'm claiming the fourth ring as my own. After all, isn't the chance for a victory over Eli Flair just as good as a title belt? Disregard Xias, a professional with talent can take the victory and do something with it. A professional with talent can get beat by Eli Flair and do something with it. I'm not asking, Stephen... I'm telling you where I'm gonna be in this one. Try and tell me otherwise, I dare ya."
As 'California Love' by Tupac starts to play on the system, and the lights start to dim, Eli moves the camera over a bit to get out of the band's way. This is always the last song on the mix before the band hits the stage.
"Ivy has a legitimate grievance, Troy... to walk out of this GOLD RUSH match with the UNIFIED title over your shoulder would truly paint you as possibly the greatest UNIFIED Champion of all time. Despite the skills of the other wrestlers in this match, to walk in against more than twenty opponents and walk out with the same belt over your shoulder is a feat that I don't think can be duplicated. And Ivy has told me, point blank, she can't deal with a CSWA where Troy Windham is the greatest champion in the company's history. This puts me in a bit of a unique situation."
"I'd love to be the UNIFIED Champion, Troy... but all I care about is hurting you. All I care about is f**kin' with you. So, win or lose, all I care about is making sure you don't walk out of the GOLD RUSH with the UNIFIED title over your shoulder. No matter who takes it, you lose it."
"That's a goal that'll be really f**k easy to reach. I can use as many of these losers as I want t'accomplish this goal, and I don't care if you're able to cry foul over multiple opponents costing you the belt. I don't care if it takes everyone in this match to take the belt from you. The important thing is to take it."
"But you'll know... without a glimmer of doubt... that you lost that belt because of Eli Flair. And I give you exactly two choices, Troy. Either stop me, or shut the f**k up." I don't believe you'll do the one, but you'll have to earn the other."
"And you know, statistically... the odds are against you on that."
FADE