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Professional Jealousy

EastPrez

Pressure Chief
Joined
Jan 1, 2000
Messages
392
Points
0
(FADEIN: To 'Hot Property' EDDIE MAYFIELD, standing in front of a CSWA backdrop, dressed in his ring pants: PVC-vinyl black tightpants with flames licking up the legs, taped wrists and hands ECW-style, and a new black tee from the CSWA catalog that simply has the phrase 'PEE ARE OHS' across the chest, ripped off at the arms and sides, MAYFIELD wearing the shirt poncho-style. He turns to the side and produces a Camel, sparks it and takes a series of test puffs, blowing a stream of smoke striaght up into the air.)

MAYFIELD: "Ok, where do I start? I saw Craig in the hallway, and he's all like (imitates MILES, kicking off his shoes) 'TSUNAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHMEEEEEEEEEEEE! YO! Eddy! lissen, those doods need a hot promo cut on 'em, yanno - to put em in their place.' And here I am, in front of this ILLUSTRIOUS ORGANIZATIONS LOGO, (Turns to the backdrop, soaking in the banner with 'fake' majesty) THE CEE - ESS - DOUBLEYOU AYS only true golden child, You're looking at the one man SWAT Team, the Greatest Show on Earth, Hot Property Eddie Mayfield, and YES, you idiots - MUST-SEE TV. Don't EVER forget that one. (smirks) I am sitting here and I'm listening to Craig tell me about these idiot Unified Tagteam Champions, and how we've (Whiny voice) 'WENT TOO FAR' and 'CROSSED THE LINE' and yah yah yah. (Makes 'talky hand' gestures) Come on, dood. Do you know who you're lookin' at? I'm EDDIE GOT-DAM[BLEEEP] MAYFIELD. Mid-Card? My ASS. The only reason that I'm not Main-Eventing this place right now is that I haven't put that higher up in my priority list on my Palm Pilot. See, I'm THIS close to being pissed off, but that means that I'd have to actually, Idunno... CARE about what those two idiots have to say. Scary ain't it? When people don't respect you? See you two prissy doily carrying soakrags, I'm BEING NICE right now. You saw what wh.. (stutters) I mean THOSE DOODS did in that Hall of Fame? That was SMALL TIME compared to what we are capable of. And Simply Stunning? You think this is mid-card BS? You think the only reason that you're gonna be staring at our ugly mugs across the ring from you in San Diego in a few days time is because YOU'RE upset? Nah cousin, it's because THE FANS ... heh ... THEY DEMAND the Professionals rock the gold belts. (smiles)

Now, I'm not a big fan of all that bling bling stuff the young kids talk about, but i know that a big ass gold belt ain't ever tacky when it's cradled in the crook of the arm of Eddie Mayfield - and for once in your sorry lives, you cats are gonna have to actually WORK for once. Because before, you were only facing mullet-headed idiots, or Garanimal Tagteams that somebody rolled some dice and added the scores up to create. This ain't some D&D tgateam, and you don't EVEN have a high enough THACO to f[BLEEP]ing hit my sh[BLEEP]. See, it was all cute and everything before, because I knew we'd get our chance to take those belts from you - put you cats over a little bit - then BAM - nail your butts to the wall, and even though you may enjoy that type'a thing, we don't play that. But we KNEW we had your numbers from day one. You just haven't realized it yet.

So Hardy Cox, or whatever your names are? You think WE'RE outta hand? You don't know the half of it. If you think we're bad NOW, we're gonna be completely intolerable when we get inside that roofed cage, and show you how these two 'Mid-Carders' bring the freaking BUILDING DOWN. You think we disgraced history? You think we turned this league on it's ear with our actions and devil-may-care mannerisms? You think we're evil? (Laughs) Man, the Devil himself is the president of the Professionals Fan Club. So you two, you wanna get a receipt? You wanna bring those crooked-eyed, buck-toothed tagteam LEGENDS to the ring with you to get your back? They're gonna be WAY BACK, because THEY don't want none of this, and for real for real, YOU don't either. So its gut-check time, you two Nancies. Eddie Mayfield and Craig Miles are about to show up on PRIMETIME and make mister and Mrs Neilson and all the ships at sea glue their eyes to their damned TV tubes and set the TiVo. Merrit is somewhere in his skybox with a PROS tee licking his lips WAITING for this match. Because the money, and the blood is gonna flow like a nice Merlot when we step in that cage, you two ninnies. You've been put on notice... (Takes another drag and flicks the cigarette at the camera) that Professional Jealousy is not allowed in OUR workplace, and the penalty for that is DISMISSAL. Security will show you to the door, and please turn those CSWA Unified Tagteam title belts over to Human Resources Officers on your way out. Names? heh. Messrs Mayfield and Miles."

(FADEOUT as MAYFIELD smirks and scratches his two-week old stubble)
 

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