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Psycho v File

TheOriginalSE

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Peter File Presents... The Dingo Ate Yo Baby

* Peter File RP for C15.


(Fade In: Peter File sits in a red satin chair smoking a cigar wearing nothing more than the pixelated square of the censors. Behind him a black backdrop does nothing to help avert attention.)

Hmmm… it appears as if something is rotten in Denmark or is this Massachusetts? I’m not really sure.. really, it could be a back alley in Slummerville with a hopped-up horndog named ChiChi offering you handies for a pack of Juicyfruit or it could be the dank underbelly of some Dansk peepee soaked heckhole where uh.. Surprisingly ChiChi has followed you due to some mishap in your contractual agreement.

Well does it really matter anyhow, isn't this merely a game of geographic semantics? Because we all know that the stench lingering in the air can only be that of the newly reformed New Era of Wrestling.. hahahahahahahehehaha.. excuse me… hold for a moment.. we've lost contact with the cerebellum or the urethra.. coming in for a landing nooooooooowwww… Hmm, it appears as if LaRoque has found another financial teet to suck from. Maybe this will allow him to keep it afloat for more than a few shows while letting his repressed, in the most gallant of ways, talent wither and die in the scum-infested, assless chap parading, cheek-paddlin’ ways imaginable. But, what can a handsome and uniquely endowed individual like myself, the one and only Peter J. File, Esquire to do? Like a 50’s housewife I know my place.. lowest rung, flaying, charading… hrmph. My place is here among the kinkiest knapsack full of cultures you’d ever darn run across.

So when the slobberknocker on that aforementioned teet was finished for the evening I received a telephone call via my Nextel that the lovely commander in chic wanted the ol’ boy to pull himself up by his bootstraps as Marquis Deroque was callin’ in a favor. Well cats and kittens here I am… in all my thunderous glory.

So I guess on the 24th of March in the dreaded snow-drenched year of twenty-oh-fit-teen I shall strut, jive and shuck my way down the ol’ red carpet of wrestling. This time I’ll be in the Assonance Arena.. no wait, uh.. Asscream.. that can’t be right? Right? Agatha Christie Arena! Bingo! Bango! We’ve got a chicken dinner. I hope my prize is a trip to Newbury Comics! As I was saying.. Cyberstroke 15 barrels down your throat with the speed of a Johnnnny Wad and you see at the other ringpost a poopy butthole named ‘The Maraschino Dingoman’ .. er, ‘The Macho Man’, … uh.. ‘Chicken Crippler?’ I’m not really sure where I’m going with this.. so let us just call him, ‘Point Shoes, Bad Jacket, Overly Dressed Canadian Tuxedo Man’ Psycho. Sounds like it’d make an awesome t-shirt… I wonder if we can have some pressed before then!? I’ll take a small…. As in my old age I’ve slimmed down some. SCHVELT.

Now I can’t really remember much about Psycho, or maybe I shouldn't? Wasn't he the guy who was in a Pole on a Pole match? No.. wait, that was me. Was he the guy that wrestled a kangaroo for a tube o’ lube in a tube top match? We’ll go with yes. Y’see, it has come to my attention that while I may garner lil’ more than a crumb of respect from the boys in the penthouse, I still garner all the love-tred, y’know love and hatred, of the adoring fans that populate the swollen gut of the Boston area. For them I must take on the mess that is Psycho, bringing his ripe ol’ reign as a bottom feeder. ‘Cos kids, I ain’t no ladder no mo’. Unless of course you pay enough then I’ll give you anything but the Z Jay.
Tootaloo.

(Fade Out)
 

TheOriginalSE

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Shoots and Ladders

* Psycho RP for C15.


"Cos kids, I ain’t no ladder no mo’. Unless of course you pay enough then I’ll give you anything but the Z Jay.
Tootaloo."

(The screen goes blank and the camera turns to the masked face of Psycho. He paces back in forth in front of a large TV still paused with he pixled Peter File, pounding his hand against his head)

Psycho: Ladder...ladder....LADDERS!!!! 8,12,15,20,25 feet...Oh Peter you really need to watch what you say.

(He stops the pounding on his head and stares coldly at the screen)

Psycho: You see since the loss of my brother well I might not be taking all my medications and I must say things, have been more then a little foggy.

(He snaps his fingers as if trying to keep himself focused)

Psycho: However on occasion I am able to pick out a word or thought that sticks in my head and BOOM...my mind just explodes. You see while my brother might have been a 7 ft. Machine of destruction I am not, yet that one word of yours that got through allows me to reach even greater heights.

(He turns towards the camera and smiles)

Psycho: and that word is LADDERS. You see Peter I believe always taking things to the extreme so when you mentioned ladders the numbers just started running though my head, 8,10,12,20,25, all heights of ladders at my local Home Depot. Now I could be kind, I could ask you Peter what size ladder would you like me to bring?

(He points his crooked finger at the camera)

Psycho: I feel like being generous, so I'll bring them all. Speaking of emotions I'm also seeing feeling greedy...see Last CyberStrike I crashed the Main Event, Now I'm stuck on the undercard facing you. However I like to give the fans their moneys worth. No top or bottom when you face me, YOU GET THE SAME SHOW!!!

(He cackles coldly as the thoughts run wild through his mind. He pounds his forehead and regains his focus once more)

Psycho: Now that's what's going to happen Peter, I'm bringing all the metal I can find and I'm stacking it as high as I can. You don't have a choice...

(He snaps his fingers)

Psycho: Well you actually you do, you didn't show up last time and the show went on. When I put you down 1...2...3, it will be like you went missing all over again. Then I can sit back and watch what Near Era as coming....because You can't stop the RECKONING!!!

(He laughs loudly and starts rocking back and forth)

<FTB>
 

TheOriginalSE

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Peter File Presents... Requiem For a Dreamy Boyfriend

* Peter File RP#2 for C15.


(FADE IN: Peter File, the man of the hour, the plower who doesn't shower, the master of kink, the purveyor of swank is seen eating a cheeseburger, as is the norm of the time.)

Psycho, I am glad you received the pixelated version of my promo.. because the R-rated, ehh.. I'd say even in parts of the PG-rated version you wouldn't have been able to handle this sass. Now patty cake, patty cake, bakers man.. bake me a cake as fast as you can, because I'll put a Peter File in it and break Psycho out of prison.. Albeit he may be awoken within the bowels of my cavern ... 'It puts the lotion on the skin or else it never wrestles again!'

... so Psycho, tell me of these medications. Are they prescription? Blackmarket? Party? Barbiturates? Phenobarbital? Or do you mean like.. ibuprofen? I know you're getting up there in years n' perhaps in need of some help clearing the strain in your back. Do these drugs allow you to see corpse like 7 foot bodies floating through the netherworld? Because fuuuuuuuuuuu... dge, I want to try whatever sweet kicks you've got! I remember the last time I dropped acid and woke up in a closet hugging a vacuum thinking it was a koala. Tell me that isn't grand!?!

Hopefully this time around at Cyberslut you and I can find a sweet stash in one of the boys lockers.. have us a real good time. Because 3, 1, 4, 18, 12, 69, 102 .. however many caps there are we'll be off to the moon.. where we shall play among the stars... a doot doot doot doot. Na mean, playa?

I guess at this point in the reeeeally big shooe.. I should address your question. 'What size ladder should I bring?' Whine, whine... whhhhhhhhhhhhhhine.. that is all I hear. Ladder? Size? Junk in tha trunk? Obviously my dear Psychostick you should bring an assortment for me to choose from... I mean c'mon now, its like visiting your local brothel and the Madam only showing you one girl. Please. What is this? Canada? So please as you mentioned I advise you to bring them all.. as I think my cousin Vinny has a house we can paint after the show. Do you think beige is a terrible color for a raised ranch in West Hartford?

Psycho my dear lad... no top or bottom you say? So... are you a rough rider or merely a Teddy Roosevelt impostor? Because baby boo, I would enjoy knowing which way your swang so I can put this wang up on yo thang. A doot doot doot doot.. fly me to the mooon... let me bounce upon your... Bring all the metal.. but please not the grindcore as my ears are too sensitive for that brackish material.

Now someone get me a coffee or a percocet.

(Fade Out)
 

TheOriginalSE

Moderator
Joined
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Messages
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Yes there will be...BLOOD!!!

* Psycho RP#2 for C15.


(Once more the camera opens upon Psycho in a darkened room. Only the camera illuminates his mask as he turns towards the camera and crack that wicked laugh)

Psycho: Oh peter, I love that cavalier attitude towards my invitation of LADDERS,

(He grinds his hands eagerly together)

Psycho: However you just as before don't understand the man you rare dealing with. You assume so much that you step into a ring with an opponent knowing so little it's make me crazier then me.

(He crawls slowly on all for and while keeping his eyes locked forward)

Psycho: See I've been doing this since I was sixteen and while the years of gone by I'm not even thirty yet. I've had many great years and I have many more ahead of me.

(He stares down and he sighs while slow blinking his eyes)

Psycho: as for the drugs, I'm not going down the list and while I'm sure you have tried many as a recreational habit. I have been determined they are medically needed. Because and this is the bad news for you.

(He pauses for a second and begins to slowly rock back and forth. He pounds his head upon his forehead and begins chanting)

Psycho: Peter File....Peter...Peter....FILE!!!

(He stops and from his fingers rolls out a nail file wrapped partially in tape)

Psycho: Oh yes Peter I will bring the ladders....but When you invite a crazy more to bring it on you have to realize he doesn't know where to stop. Because when or loose when that bell rng there really is only one thing that I want....it's To get back what I lost.

(He pauses once again breathes quite deeply and in an eerily calm voice)

Psycho: I lost blood....I'm Now going to spill yours and everyman that gets in the ring.

(He shrugs his shoulders)

Psycho: Does that make me crazy?

<FTB>
 

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