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Rook Black

Live Long and Pants.
Joined
Jul 20, 2007
Messages
362
Points
0
Age
47
Location
Bedford, OH
I am very happy with the show. for reasons related to spoilers I will not comment on what I liked best yet.
 

Rook Black

Live Long and Pants.
Joined
Jul 20, 2007
Messages
362
Points
0
Age
47
Location
Bedford, OH
okay, waited long enough.

Stratton vs Bryant was a NAIL BITER. I would never have imagined that I'd be reading along and thinking that the end was telegraphed and then NUH UH. And then NUH UH AGAIN. And then NO NO NO NO.

It looked like it was on for the Blanchard Magnam TA finish in their I Quit match. BUT THEN I WAS WRONG.

Best thing I've read in a loooong time.
 

jediPREZ

Shadowboss
Joined
Jan 1, 1970
Messages
5,127
Points
36
Website
nfw.e-wrestling.org
okay, waited long enough.

Stratton vs Bryant was a NAIL BITER. I would never have imagined that I'd be reading along and thinking that the end was telegraphed and then NUH UH. And then NUH UH AGAIN. And then NO NO NO NO.

It looked like it was on for the Blanchard Magnam TA finish in their I Quit match. BUT THEN I WAS WRONG.

Best thing I've read in a loooong time.

Biron and I discussed Blanchard/Magnum alot in general in prep for this. Good eye. :)
 

EastPrez

Pressure Chief
Joined
Jan 1, 2000
Messages
392
Points
0
okay, waited long enough.

Stratton vs Bryant was a NAIL BITER. I would never have imagined that I'd be reading along and thinking that the end was telegraphed and then NUH UH. And then NUH UH AGAIN. And then NO NO NO NO.

It looked like it was on for the Blanchard Magnam TA finish in their I Quit match. BUT THEN I WAS WRONG.

Best thing I've read in a loooong time.

Where's the LIKE button?
 

brusch

Main Event Caliber
Joined
Apr 16, 2012
Messages
836
Points
18
Location
St. Louis, MO
Lots of cool things! The grand prix final was quite a fun read and I was happy to have a good showing. Kudos to the winner - he definitely deserves it and sets up what should be a pretty damn fun world title match.

Stables converging storylines is always welcome, and with the HFC and Guild segment it worked out really nicely. All that was maybe missing was Legion and Co., though they were shouted out in the proceedings.

That main event...talk about heinous and gory! Not the kind of thing I would want to read all the time, but something that made sense considering the competitors and their type of hatred. It's rare to cringe when reading a match, and I definitely did a few times. Ultra biting of nails throughout.

It took a while, but the product was full of "the qualities". Ready to get back to it!
 

GreggG

Moderator
Joined
Jan 1, 2000
Messages
810
Points
18
Here's a breakdown of the Jack/Dorchester match.

So Biron wrote the first part before he handed it off. We all talked up the Tully/Magnum match that's probably my favorite of the type. It definitely set the template for the best I Quit matches of them all. There's actually a reference to it w/ Jack using a table leg to the eye socket to gain control of the match when he's down for the count.

The match essentially has three-acts to it. Ben did a masterful job with the first part -- it's just a crazy ass brawl. It makes psychological sense -- these dudes hate each other and Dorchester doesn't play by the rules AND also has the HFC with him. So of course he'd try and take advantage of that situation and lead to the insane brawl before hand.

I had to tweak it a bit once I figured out how the match was going to end. We knew Dorchester was going to win via The Secret Handshake (w/ the towel thrown in -- all faces who lose I Quit matches have to lose that way since they look heroic). But I didn't want to do "Jack passes out in the Handshake" -- I always love that ending but I thought it'd be more brutal if Jack was already knocked out when he went into it. Ben already had Dorchester's step punt in there so I figured I'd play up the head trauma.

The second part is Jack making his comeback. I wanted to give Jack some visual falls -- i.e., he would have won but Dorchester finagled his way -- and thought the cage on Dorchester's finger was disturbing, along with Veronica kissing Dorchester through the cage to save him. Since they also have more than just underlying S&M stuff, I figured that would be something they would do and enjoy later on when watching the replay.

But with Jack's comeback -- I figured going in that Jack would work Dorchester over for his Southern Cross finish. Having a money submission hold works in the match and Dorchester's tapped out in matches before since, like any good heel, he's gutless when it gets down to it. Jack got another visual fall but Dorchester's last-second cunning move got him out of the ref seeing him tap.

I also didn't want Jack to actually hook the Southern Cross. I initially had Dorchester weasling his way out of it but my thought was -- why would Jack break his finisher once he had it applied? Plus, Dorchester surviving Jack's finisher makes him too heroic. And another thing w/ Jack -- he has two listed weaknesses. Miscalculation and temper. Maybe he could have brawled more to beat Dorchester but instead he went after going for a submission you'd see in a traditional wrestling match.

The temper came into play. I always play up Dorchester going into some weird dark place when he's cornered. So I did the Tyson/Holyfield bit with Dorchester becoming a human animal to keep himself from getting in The Southern Cross and inevitable defeat. And when Jack realizes his ear got bitten, he (rightfully) loses his shit.

That enters into the third act. Jack completely loses it and that gives Dorchester a little bit of breathing room he's able to exploit w/ the Stepping Stone step-up kick. And then Dorchester goes for the killshots.

If you look at the movesets of my guys and the matches I write, I like using simple moves. They're easy to write. I think the most complex stuff I have any of my dudes do is WildStar's WildDriver spinning Michinikou Driver (that no one actually writes). I have no idea how to write crazy-ass Ring of Honor or Japan/lucha knot twisting submission suplex stuff. It's just too complex for me. So I always try and steal nasty looking simple moves from the WWE, which predicates its in-ring storytelling on making it easy for fans to watch w/ trademark spots that are easy to see on TV and in the top floor of an arena.

That's a long-winded way of saying that "I love Dean Ambrose's finisher." So I stole that but into the steps which I thought was a disturbing killshot attempt against a really vulnerable person. Textbook Dorchester.

That was a LOT of fun to write and figure out. I usually "write backwards" when I do matches -- I know the finish first and go backwards when I outline these things. I probably put too much thought into this stuff but having a match make psychological sense is the most important thing to me. I also love, love, love hate-filled brawls so much.

Of my NFW matches, I'll put this up there near the top.
 

Biron

League Member
Joined
Aug 8, 2007
Messages
644
Points
16
I haven't read this yet, but I want to apologize for making the card so ridiculously late. Not impressed with myself.

Good job getting it out, fellas.
 

jediPREZ

Shadowboss
Joined
Jan 1, 1970
Messages
5,127
Points
36
Website
nfw.e-wrestling.org
I haven't read this yet, but I want to apologize for making the card so ridiculously late. Not impressed with myself.

Good job getting it out, fellas.

You still beat Manson vs. Hornet and "What Happened in Mike Randalls' Locker Room...LATE-NIGHT PARTY STYLE~!"
 

User Poets

The Shadow Pope
Joined
Jan 6, 1995
Messages
2,192
Points
36
Age
44
Location
Top of the Pile
Website
www.valeriansgarden.com
The good:

Matches were spectacular. I won't get into any detail on the Grand Prix since that one was mine, other than the fact that it was quite a challenge to write, considering the rules. I'd also like to point out to anyone who thinks that if they fall behind, they might as well throw in the towel, that when I got my first set of booking decisions (so I could start the thing), Jack Harmen WAS NOT penciled in as the winner. Ford's late-game push was awesome and he really pulled it out.

Ramey and Ocho were SO damn close to winning, I hope Ramey sticks around because he could certainly contend, and I think Ocho is in a good position to continue chasing Rook Black.

Stratton/Bryant - Epic.

Epic, epic, epic.

This should push Jack Bryant into the main event. And with all of the contempt that Stratton held for the TV Title I would love to see him treat the belt with zero respect, thus prompting a worthy challenger to take the title back.

The not so good....

Hollywood on Fire.

At least 90% of the words could've probably been cut to get to the same conclusion. Finally, there's actually some semblance of a setback in Chessmaster JJ's plans - he screws Troy Windham out of his match with Mike Randalls so he can be the biggest star in the history of wrestling. Everyone says "Wait, that means the Windham Clan no longer has any power." Instead of having to see the HFC deal with this development, or even see Eddie Mayfield overtly fuck with the guy who tried to fuck with his company, what do we get? "Troy was behind it."

Even worse, Eddie says that if it was anyone but JJ, he'd be on his side. Where does this come from? I get that Mayfield is a heel and all but this isn't some "Let's all team up and take over this bitch" moment - Eddie doesn't have to take over his own company. It read to me far too much like he's trying to be too cool for the room and it comes off as desperate. Even the slightest indication that Mayfield cares more about the NFW than "hanging with the cool kids" then his comment would've carried more weight.

By the by, portraying the "brash, rogueish heels" as "the cool kids" at every opportunity is 15 years late. But that's a conversation for another day.

"Make JJ work for everything."

By putting the suggestion in Troy's contract with Mike Randalls, the heat is shifted again, to try and put a JJ vs. Troy rivalry at the forefront with Eddie Mayfield stirring the pot. That's a guy who isn't in the NFW and the owner-character, neither of whom should be in the center of any upper-mid-card to major angle (If Troy is truly gone, he shouldn't have ANY heat directed his way as it helps nobody). It should've been Eddie's idea, and Eddie's alone. The days of the owner-wrestler feud is long past and long passe, but it's better than trying to put heat on someone who isn't even here.

"Someone who isn't even here."

I'll give a pass to Castor Strife on that since Alex Austin isn't really feuding with JJ - Castor is doing so by proxy via Alex Austin. But the match that was signed doesn't even need to happen, because here's the finish: Alex Austin pins Eddie Mayfield.

Castor/JJ is something that's being telegraphed so hardcore that Ron Jeremy is asking it to ease off. That means Austin/Steel Viper are going to win. But against Eddie and JJ, it has to be Eddie taking the pin. JJ has some heavy duty plot armor and if Eddie eats the pinfall then it wouldn't "count" as JJ "fucking things up" as Eddie threatened.

So, I don't know. Lots of good stuff on this show and a lot of interesting things to come out of it, but there's also a ton that I think could've played out much better.
 

LQJT86C

Where's my money, Chad?
Joined
Jul 3, 1997
Messages
2,073
Points
36
Age
40
Location
The Silk Road
I wouldn't be so sure that JJ vs. Castor is happening. It's no secret that The Guild wants a piece of JJ, and that if Eddie does enough to bring Castor back that the match itself would happen, but from a reader's perspective, JJ mentions Impulse more than anybody else on the roster. I think it'd be a toss-up at this point whether JJ vs. Castor or JJ vs. Impulse happens first.
 

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