Welcome to FWrestling.com!

You've come to the longest running fantasy wrestling website. Since 1994, we've been hosting top quality fantasy wrestling and e-wrestling content.

Road to ULTRATITLE: Your Mission, Should You Choose to Accept It...

Nova

Just Like Law-Jesus
Joined
May 15, 2005
Messages
528
Points
0
Age
39
Location
The wrong side of the bong slide.
(FADE IN: Black. (Oh, SNAP! He’s fading to black to open this thing?! This IS the ULTRATITLE finals!)) A tiny speck of light dances back and forth in the distance. It grows larger and larger, the only indication that the camera is zooming in. As we move closer, the light is revealed to be a single bulb, swinging from a chain above a chair, to which is bound a figure, bare from the waist up.

VOICE: You wanna be a hero?! Huh?! Those were my buddies in those Sex-Wings! Those men had families!

A cloaked figure steps out of the shadows and strikes the bound man across the face with what could be a flapjack or small club…but if you’ve been following the story, you know it’s a dildo.

VOICE #2: Yeah, Merv! Hit ‘im again!

The first cloaked figure halts his assault and turns to the second.

MERV: Dude…for the last freakin’ time, cut it out with the Earth-names. Use Dildonite codenames…especially around him.

DILDONITE #2: Sorry, Throbalot.

THROBALOT: It’s okay, Bonerhard.

Sudden laughter draws their attention back to the man bound to the chair.

THROBALOT: And just what the hell is so funny?!

BONERHARD: Yeah!

THROBALOT: Shut up.

Laughter becomes a hoarse cough, and the Hyperspace Kid spits blood out onto the floor before raising his eyes defiantly.

HYPERSPACE KID: It doesn’t matter what you call yourselves…we’ll be calling you “F*CKED” when the Eagle Star shuts your Scientist down and writes this whole f*cked-up, kind of sexy chapter of history right out of existence.

BONERHARD: THE EAGLE STAR?! But I…I thought that was just…

THROBALOT: SHUT. UP. Seriously. And it is just a myth.

HYPERSPACE KID: So you’d like to think, wouldn’t you, Mervert? Well, girls, at this very moment sh*t is coming to fruition that will all but assure the defeat of your sad little congregation, and make the chaos at Altamont Speedway feel like a James Taylor concert. So goodnight, all you moonlight lad-

*THWACK*

Throbalot steps forward with an angry growl and cracks the Kid upside the head with the dildo again.

THROBALOT: That’s all well and good, Space Cadet, but it doesn’t do a whole lot about your situation, now does it?

HYPERSPACE KID: I’m a non-issue. I don’t matter. I’m one soldier in an army full of soldiers who fight as hard or harder than I do.

The Kid releases another throaty, bitter laugh.

HYPERSPACE KID: You captured a f*cking peon.

Throbalot glares at him angrily before grabbing Bonerhard by the elbow.

THROBALOT: Come on. We need to go report to command. (Waving the dildo at the Kid) We’ll be back for you, asshole!

HYPERSPACE KID: Hugs and kisses.

The Dildonites storm off into the darkness. After hearing a door slam, the Kid’s shoulders slump and he sighs loudly, turning his bruised face towards the light.

HYPERSPACE KID: Come on, Nova…



Road to ULTRATITLE: Your Mission, Should You Choose to Accept It…



“We will defend here…here…here…and here.”

Standing in front of a holographic model of the Frontier Days Arena aboard the N.U.G. starship Garcia, the Chairman uses a laser pointer to highlight possible Dildonite entry points. Surrounding him are the other leaders of the counterstrike efforts.

CHAIRMAN: These defensive zones have to hold if there’s to be any hope of…Nova, are you listening?

Loud snores emanate from the mouth of the ULTRATITLE hopeful as the anguished wailings of Pet Benatar’s “Love Is A Battlefield” drift up from the headphones around his neck.

CHAIRMAN: NOVA!!!!1

NOVA: (Jumping) YEEAGH!! WHAT?!

CHAIRMAN: Pay attention! We’re talking about how to cover your ass here!

The so-named Warrior of the West lights a cigarette and tries not to roll his eyes out of his skull.

NOVA: Dude, I’m exhausted. For those non-subscribers, I just got the sweet unholy f*ck beaten out of me by Eli Flair, and if I know Miles, the finals ain’t gonna be much better. So sorry about catchin’ z’s during class and whatnot, but…

Suddenly the double-doors on the side of the room fly open, and a young man clad in a green military-esque suit with a bright yellow pot leaf over the chest hurries inside.

YOUNG MAN: Sirs!

CHAIRMAN: Report.

YOUNG MAN: Sir! We’ve pinpointed the Kid’s location! The signal coming from his suit, or what’s left of it, is hella weak, sir, but we’ve narrowed it down to somewhere around Cheyenne Mountain…

NOVA: HE’S ALIVE?!

CHAIRMAN: The Kid is quite resourceful. I once saw him caned to the brink of death for stealing the virginities of two of Father McGinney’s daughters in a ménage-e-trois, and the next day he was perfectly fine.

NOVA: How old are you guys? Actually, it’s not important. Let’s go get his ass!

CHAIRMAN: No can do.

NOVA: WHAT?!

CHAIRMAN: (Poring over a map) That area is one of the Dildonites’ most fortified strongholds. We just don’t have the manpower for a head-on assault.

The Western Conference Champion runs a hand over his bare scalp, eyes wide as cigarette smoke shoots out of his nose.

NOVA: You’re…you’re just gonna leave him?

The Chairman turns away, staring off stoically into space.

CHAIRMAN: I’ve known the Kid for a very long time. A very long time. I don’t sacrifice any soldier eagerly, especially not one like the Kid. But this is war, and in war…

He turns back, but Nova is gone, one door swinging shut left as evidence of his departure.

In the hallway, a young man dressed in loose-fitting white clothes catches up to Nova and jogs alongside him.

YOUNG MAN: I’m Reyarteb.

NOVA: *Puff, puff* No time to rub elbows at the moment, I’m afraid. No offense.

REYARTEB: None taken. But I overheard you say you want to help the Kid.

NOVA: I never said that…

REYARTEB: Well don’t you?

The ULTRATITLE hopeful slows to a walk and then stops, turning to face his new acquaintance.

NOVA: Yeah, I guess so. What’s up?

REYARTEB: We’ll be passing over his location in a few minutes. I can take you to the hangar and get you a parachute. We can’t assault their stronghold with an attack force, but one man might be able to slip through the cracks…and if anyone can do it, the Eagle Star can.

NOVA: People keep saying that…


A few minutes later…


The Chairman pushes open the hangar doors breathlessly and runs through.

CHAIRMAN: Nova, wait!!!

But he isn’t there…only Reyarteb, standing in silence near the open floor door where clouds whiz by below.

REYARTEB: I had to help him, Chairman.

The Chairman steps forward, putting a hand on the young man’s shoulder.

CHAIRMAN: I know, Reyarteb. He’s the Eagle Star.

They stand together for a moment, looking at the sky below and pondering the fate of their hero.

CHAIRMAN: Well, good luck to him. Let’s go back inside.

He turns to leave and a button on his wristband snags the edge of Reyarteb’s shirt, ripping it down the back…

…and revealing the Dildonite insignia on his shoulder.

CHAIRMAN: ?!? I…

Whipping around, Reyarteb clubs the Chairman in the temple with his fist, sending the leader of the resistance stumbling away clutching his face. Reyarteb springs forward, landing a kick to the Chairman’s midsection, causing him to bend over. Reyarteb then flips the Chairman overhead. He lands hard and rolls towards the opening in the hangar floor.

REYARTEB: THIS is my mission, you bald f*ck! Stopping the legendary Eagle Star…not mopping floors on this infernal ship and waiting to read everyone else’s names in the history books! F*ck the Chairman, f*ck the Hyperspace Kid, and most of all, F*CK THE MOTHER-F*CKING EAGLE STAR!!

The Chairman looks up, blood dribbling down the side of his face.

CHAIRMAN: YOU DON’T KNOW WHAT YOU MAY HAVE DONE!!!

REYARTEB: (Grinning) I know what I’m about to do…something I’ve wanted to do for a long time…

He lunges forward, pouncing on the Chairman and gripping his neck in both hands as the latter’s shoulders and head lean out over the passing Earth. The Chairman’s face turns blue and his eyes begin to roll back in his head…before blinking to life with an intensity few have seen and lived to describe.

REYARTEB: What?! AAGH, NO!!

The Chairman’s pupils fade to white, and bolts of energy crackle up his arms to the body of Reyarteb. The younger man convulses in the Chairman’s grasp, and when the Chairman speaks, his voice booms with almost divine authority.

CHAIRMAN: I’ve wanted to do this, too, Reyarteb. You didn’t keep the faith. You are corrupt, and now I’m casting you down. DOWN!!

The Chairman crushes the traitor’s face with two quick headbutts and monkey-flips him overhead.

REYARTEB: AAAHHHHHHH!!!!!

The Chairman kips up to his feet, the energy fading and his eyes returning to normal, and watches the body of his former soldier grow smaller and smaller as he rockets towards the ground.

CHAIRMAN: So be it…Reyarteb the Betrayer.

He stares down at the passing terrain and sighs, rubbing his neck with one hand.

CHAIRMAN: Nova…please be alive.

(FTB)
 

About FWrestling

FWrestling.com was founded in 1994 to promote a community of fantasy wrestling fans and leagues. Since then, we've hosted dozens of leagues and special events, and thousands of users. Come join and prove you're "Even Better Than The Real Thing."

Add Your League

If you want to help grow the community of fantasy wrestling creators, consider hosting your league here on FW. You gain access to message boards, Discord, your own web space and the ability to post pages here on FW. To discuss, message "Chad" here on FW Central.

What Is FW?

Take a look at some old articles that are still relevant regarding what fantasy wrestling is and where it came from.
  • Link: "What is FW?"
  • Top