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Smells like FISH, run like chickens

EastPrez

Pressure Chief
Joined
Jan 1, 2000
Messages
392
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[updated:LAST EDITED ON Jul-25-02 AT 11:13 AM (EDT)](FADEIN: To a modest suite inside the Sweetwater hotel. There are Blockbuster Video bags all over the floor, and wires and controllers all over the place, the clamshells to HALO, Wrestlings Legends and CSWA Showtime sit on the corner of the bed. The camera pans around to see 'Hot Property' EDDIE MAYFIELD, sitting in a corner chair, Camel hanging from his hand, staring death into the camera. He scratches at his month-old dirty brown Rivers Cuomo beard, and chuckles.)

MAYFIELD: "Yunno, people have been wonderin' where the hell Eddie Mayfield has been off to. Yunno, before Oklahoma City, you saw tape from Must-See TV every other second, and your life was warm and fuzzy. Then, all of a sudden? NO MORE EDDIE? What's up? Well, I'll tell your ass what's up. Eddie Mayfield ain't PLAYING AROUND anymore. Yasee, you people took Eddie Mayfield for granted. You've all seen the tapes. I'm no rookie. You saw me chase Tom Adler out of his backyard in AAWC, and he ran and hid under his bed in Canada. Hell, he even faked his own death and LEFT THE STATES because he was afraid of me. Me, my man Pi and Anne Mystic, we DESTROYED AAWC, regardless of what Doc Silver says. Oops, maybe I shouldn't say his name on CSWA TV, huh? (Grimaces, and shakes his head) IWC, SWA, NGEN, Good lord, FWC? I don't even remember anymore. EVERYWHERE I'VE BEEN, I've been the straw that stirred the motherFU(BLEEEEEEP!) drink. I've come through the back door, and didn't ask politely, I intruded on your turf. I TOOK WHAT BELONGED TO YOU. (Pounds chest)I'M THE DAMNED FIRESTARTER, YOU RETARDS. So, after taking some time off, after a successful run as Niles Danger on 'Relic Hunter', I came back to this... SPORT, and I showed up here, and I PUT YOU ALL ON NOTICE. Yeah, heh. 'That Eddie sure is funny'. 'Heh, Eddie MAyfield, he sure can come up with the weirdo one-liners'... 'HEH. EDDIE, HE SURE IS COOL'. What you failed to realize is that, 'HEH', Eddie Mayfield is a serious, VERY DANGEROUS THREAT. See, it took us getting pooped up the booty by Simply Silent and the CSWA Office for months for someone to realize that they were backing the wrong horse, NOW everybody wants to be in my, or my boy Craig Miles' face. 'Oh, the PROS, they're the bomb!' 'Oh, the PEE-ARE-OHS this and that! Eddie, how come you ain't WORLD CHAMP yet?' Stunned? Yeah, they ask that. But the old guard in the back say, naw, this kid is too wild, he won't listen to what we try to put in his ear, as long as he just comes out there and carries the rest of this sinkhole fed on his back, we'll put him on TV, and see what happens. Well, you SAW what happened: 3-team war, The PROS, Stunning and the Golden Child Allstars, Shane Southern and Evan Aho. Guess what I did to Evan Aho? (Nods) YEAH. YOU SAW IT. Two weeks ago in Oklahoma City - WHAT THE F(BLEEEEEEEP!) DID I DO TO EVAN AHO. That boy was in the back, playing Detective Riggs and shoulderblocking doorways to set his damned arm back into the socket. Some catchphrase didn't do that - some gimmick with a cigarette and nothing to back it up didn't do that. Some marketing wet dream didn't do that - EYE (BLEEEEEEEEP!)ING DID THAT. Me, EDDIE GOT-DA(BLEEP!) MAYFIELD. The KOOKY JOKE DID THAT.

See, All the months of BS have come to a head. Simply Stunning are legit HIDING from Fish Fund and their amazing one-night slimming diet. They do NOT want ANY of this. Personally, I'm sick of whipping their asses and not getting my just rewards. When EYE screw someone, it's to make a point. The tag team champs' screws are out of desperation, NOT out of a moral, or any other type of drama-inducing point. If you were fuzzy on who's the heels and who's the face in this situation, that should clear it up. Craig Miles has been here longer than me, and he knows whats' up. He's one of the most decorated and deviant tag team minds in the modern age of wrestling. What's MY cred? Go to my house and look in my closet, and count the belts in there. Little known fact? I have never been defeated for a belt I won. If I wanted to be an ass, I could call myself the UNDISPUTED CHAMPION and run around here with 8 or nine belts on me like those jap doods or the boxers do. But naw, I won't go that route. I don't LIKE to relive the past, but I WILL give a lesson to those that don't understand the future.

A while ago, somebody said to me, 'Yo Ed, you don't seem to be the same kinda guy when I see you on that OTHER channel, cutting hot promos, you seem dark... ANGRIER'. You wanna know why? Because in this QUOTE GLOBAL FEDERATION, People don't seem to know what my deal is, and there's a ladder to climb - a glass ceiling to break through. You saw that walking fire hydrant GUNS say it a million times, that the CSWA ain't worth trying to figger out - it's not WORTH saving. Eddie Mayfield, the SECOND I set foot in this league, I told you ALL that you can't deny me what will be mine eventually, and when I get it, you'll have NO excuse. I am the ONLY real triple threat of wrestling - Charisma, Work Rate, Mic wizardry. Every time I come on TV or to a CSWA event, I gotta carry this whole damned card on my back like Atlas carried the globe. These yawn-assed 'stars' here BLOW, and I've proved that already. Simply Stunning - I have nothing to say to you except, when you finally come out of yer hole for Fish Fund, when you go back in, you'll be 40 pounds lighter, and it won't be from me blowing out your colons, like you two seems to enjoy doing to one another.

To CSWA? I TOLD YOU. I F{BLEEEEEEP!} TOLD YOU. You didn't listen. Now, you're gonna have no one to blame for yourself when me and my boy PROFESSIONALLY make Fish Fund OUR show. Don't think we can do it? You think I can't back that up? (Laughs) TRY ME. GXW? Fuc{BLEEEEP!} whatever, man. CSWA, I'm MAD, and I'm gonna take it out on ALL OF YOU. For every one of you that wronged us, you'll GET YOURS. And it all starts at Fish Fund Park. I can't stand the smell of this town already. It DOES smell like fish, but the only taste left in my mouth is gonna be the aftertaste of Sweet, SWEET REVENGE, and best believe, it's best served ICE COLD. (Smirks. FADEOUT)
 

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