Greetings, Americans!
(Camera fades in on two blonde men in ... PIRATE OUTFITS?? Wait, no, not pirate outfits, they're just foreigners! The one on the left, a little taller than the other, holds up a sign that says "Danish Domination" with a smiley face instead of a period. The other begins to speak)
JACK JENSEN: (quite jovially) Hello, Americans!!
(The other waves)
JACK JENSEN: Just in case you didn't know already, we are DANISH DOMINATION!!! (Muscular pose by both pirates) This example of Danish perfection here (motions to the other Dane) is my cousin, Lloyd Loth, man of a whole lot of holds! Unfortunately for Lloyd, he does not yet have a tanglehold on English as I do. But don't you worry, young American ladies, he speaks another language which you can all understand. Just so long as you are young, thin, ATTRACTIVE American ladies, that is. Otherwise, why bother, really? And I, well, I am Yack Yensen, the brains behind DANISH DOMINATION!! (Another muscular pose by Jack and Lloyd) We know how much Americans envy the lives of the Danish people, so we've come here to the Great Lakes area to give a taste of that life to you! Right, Lloyd? (Lloyd doesn't move.)
JACK JENSEN: (Smacks Lloyd) Lloyd! (something in Danish... the hell? Lloyd nods, turns to the camera, scowls, and then nods again) Someday, Lloyd here will be able to tell for all the ladies what he thinks of you envious little Americans. First match of Danish Domination is... Corona Drinking Men. In Denmark, Corona is used as mouthwash. But that matters not at all. All is matter is that we will DOMINATE!!
(Fade to black)