ULTRATITLE FINALS: Castor V. Strife vs. Eli Flair
(CUTTO: Bill Buckley and Stan Parsons, sitting at ringside. The fans were all still buzzing from the IG Championship, and the ‘ATKEN!’ chant was still sounding out.)
BUCKLEY: Thanks, Natrone. Well, fans, this is it. We started with one hundred and twenty eight men nearly six months ago, and it’s all led up to this. We’re at Ground Zero for the 2012 Ultratitle Tournament, and Stan, could you have predicted this finale?
PARSONS: Not in a million years, Bill, but I think that’s a fair assessment for whoever would’ve made it this far. On one hand, Castor Strife is the World Champion of New Frontier Wrestling, which is widely acknowledged, along with Empire Pro Wrestling, as being at the forefront of today’s professional wrestling Elite. On the other, Castor had to get past Joey Melton, Cameron Cruise, Dan Ryan, Sean Stevens, Anarky and Doc Silver, just to name a few of the legends we’re familiar with, and to say nothing of all the legends and great athletes that were fairly new to the Greensboro wrestling crowd in his half - field. You can’t count any of them out, and it’s truly a feat of skill, guile, and luck, that Castor Strife made it this far.
BUCKLEY: At the same time, the same could be said of Eli Flair, in reverse. Here’s a man who had a legendary career, certainly Hall of Fame – worthy, who hasn’t wrestled a single match in three years, and he’s going to win his own half – field that includes Sean Edmunds, the Phantom Republican, Eric Dane, Kendall Codine, Max Blackshire, Boogie Smallz, Deacon, Troy Windham, Jack Harmen, Javid Dones, and the infamous Joe the Plumber? The Eli Flair of ten years ago would’ve eaten this field for breakfast, but the Eli Flair who had wrestled a scant seven matches in the past five years before this tournament started managed to pull it off. There’s an element of luck to that, of course, but it’s also just as much a testament to the man’s guts, skill, and stubbornness.
(SFX: DING DING DING. At the sound of the bell, the fans popped. They were popping all night, of course, but this one made it sound like they were sitting on their hands for the past three hours.)
JONES: Ladies and gentlemen… this… is the
MAIN EVENT OF THE NIGHT!
(Roar from the crowd.)
This contest is scheduled for one fall, with no time limit! And it is for the TWO THOUSAND AND TWELVE… ULTRATITLE… CHAMPIONSHIP!
BUCKLEY: Lana Dremire leading the way for the NFW World Heavyweight Champion, she’s something else, isn’t she, Stan?
PARSONS: Rabid, possibly hepatitis?
BUCKLEY: You said it, not me. Castor Strife looked good in his match against Joey Melton earlier tonight, he had a hard fought match, but I don’t think he was ever truly in trouble. You can say all you want about Melton –
PARSONS: McGinnis certainly did.
BUCKLEY: —but even at forty eight years old, he’s a heck of a talent. For Castor to have dispatched him with the relative ease that he did, is a testament to both his past promise and future success. It’s one thing to have had some lucky draws in this tournament to avoid some of the heavy hitters, but when you’re facing off against a bona fide legend and can come through like that? You can’t learn that.
PARSONS: I also notice Castor left his gasmask behind. Symbolic, perhaps, for the filmmaker? Stripping away everything superfluous for this match? I dare say this is the most important night of his career so far, whether he wins or loses here, he’s leaving this arena a different wrestler than he started.
BUCKLEY: Good point, Stan – but he’s also still wearing his title belt, and this is not a NFW World Championship defense.
PARSONS: Perhaps he considers his NFW World Title to be essential?
BUCKLEY: Touche. Castor and Lana enter the ring on the same side, up opposite stairs and under the same stretch of the top rope, and he’s got a fairly sizeable following here! I wonder, how much of that is the hardcore Castor Strife fan, and how much of that is the fairweather ‘He’s an Ultratitle finalist’ fan?
PARSONS: Truly, it doesn’t matter right now.
(Believe it or not, the fans got louder.)
BUCKLEY: We thought we saw the last of Eli Flair in this arena seven years ago when he came within inches of winning the UNIFIED Championship at CSWA Gold Rush, but here he is, Stan, wrestling in his second match of the night!
PARSONS: Poison Ivy leads the way for Eli to ringside, and she’s forsaken the Singapore Cane, just like Eli forsook the black leather trench coat.
BUCKLEY: Like you said, no distractions and nothing superfluous. Eli has the same idea as Castor.
PARSONS: He’s sporting a new shirt, though. W.W.A.D. on a plain black shirt.
BUCKLEY: I believe that stands for What Would Angel Do? That’s one of the early logos for his wife’s band. I’d say, much like Castor and his title belt, Eli has brought with him, only what he wants to carry with him.
PARSONS: It’s somewhat fitting that they both have one person in their corner, and they both have one item, extraneous to the actual wrestling match, that means something to them. I dare say, both men have brought their own personal lucky charms to the ring.
BUCKLEY: Ivy under the top rope, Eli up the corner, and he’s got his fist in the air to another massive ovation, and I think we’ve finally cracked the stoicism, he’s got the barest hint of a smile on his face.
PARSONS: Eighteen years, Bill – and this is something he’s never been able to accomplish. Fifteen World Championships, countless five star matches, and this is the first time he’s ever been in the ring for an Ultratitle Final.
BUCKLEY: Enjoy it, Eli… and listen to these fans, they’re showing him continued appreciation for the career he’s had.
JONES: Introducing first, to my left… accompanied to the ring by Lana Dremire… from Hollywood, California, and weighing in at two hundred and forty five pounds… He has made it to the Ultratitle Finals with victories over Jaguar. Over Sammy Brown. Over Khristain Keller. Over Anarky, Orphan, and Joey Melton…
(SFX: Fan pop at Melton’s name.)
JONES: He is the God of Snuff, he is the Final Scene, the Golden Dream… He is the PSYCHOSEXUAL SON OF SATURN… He is the NEW FRONTIER WRESTLING… WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION…
CASTORRRRRRRRRR… VEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE… STRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIFE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
BUCKLEY: Castor hasn’t taken his eyes off Eli Flair, but he’s unhooked his World Title belt from his waist and is holding it high in the air to a loud, loud reaction.
PARSONS: You can call him a freak, a scumbag, and a bottom feeder, but he’s currently holding a very powerful World Title and he has built a reputation on an uncompromising and unparalleled style, defeating everyone in his path including Eli Flair’s protégé, Randall Knox. A majority of these fans might want to see Eli Flair come out on top, but they have too much respect for Castor to boo him, at least at this point.
JONES: AND HIS OPPONENT…
(SFX: HUGE pop, chant beginning of ‘THANK YOU ELI!’ complete with claps.
JONES: Accompanied to the ring by the Manager of Champions herself, the Psycho Bitch, ‘Poison’ Ivy McGinnis…
BUCKLEY: Standing ovation for Ivy! She’s got just as many fans here as Eli, and the fans are showing their appreciation for her own contribution to the sport over the years.
PARSONS: She’s certainly come a long way since her debut, Bill. Working the road while earning a degree with honors from MIT, I remember her in the locker room, sitting and talking with everyone she could learn from. If Ray S. Cornette was still with us, he’d be incredibly proud of how far she’s come.
(CUTTO: The ring, where Ivy had taken a bow and took an aggressive step toward Lana Dremire, who had decided to fire some obscene gestures her way. Eli held her back by the arm.)
JONES: From New York City, The Bronx, and weighing in at two hundred and ninety pounds… his path to the Ultratitle Finals took him through Vagabond. Jacob McKail. Eric Dane. Sean Edmunds. Kendall Codine.
(Nice pop for Kendall Codine.)
JONES: And Jack Harmen…
(Another nice pop for Harmen; his own fanbase transcends territory lines.)
JONES: He is the King of Extreme… He is the Original Nobody… He is a fifteen time former World Heavyweight Champion, including being the only man in history who has held the CSWA, Fans Wrestling Organization, and Asylum Fighting World Championships…
(Pop for the CSWA and the FWO, less so for the Asylum.)
JONES: THIS IS… TOTAL ELIMINATION… EEEEEEEEEEEEEELIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII… FLAAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!
BUCKLEY: Standing ovation for the King of Extreme! Castor may be cheered and respected for his efforts and his skills, but the same could be said for Eli Flair, who wrestled some of his most legendary matches in this arena, and who spent ten full years entertaining these fans. I would go so far as to say, Stan, that beyond the obvious answers: Hornet, Joey Melton, the Windham brothers, and Mike Randalls, no one man has meant as much to the CSWA over the years than Eli Flair.
PARSONS: That’s all well and good, Bill, but Eli Flair’s legacy in this building and Castor Strife’s reputation over the past three years means precisely zilch right now. This is the moment that all of the hype and all of the questions are pushed aside, and it comes down to who can get the three count.
(SFX: DING DING DING!)
BUCKLEY: There’s the bell, Lana and Ivy have left the ring, and we’re official! Senior referee Ben Worthington has refereed all of the Ultratitle matches since the quarterfinals began, and he’s asking for these two men to shake hands!
PARSONS: Not a chance. Castor told a pretty compelling tale about not getting the help he desired from Eli Flair and his group back when he was starting, and Eli came right back, telling Castor that he never heard of him. There’s no respect here and that is going to show itself.
BUCKLEY: You say that, Stan, but Eli offers his hand in respect!
PARSONS: Castor with a slap to the face! He doesn’t respect Eli!
BUCKLEY: ELI WITH A RIGHT HAND! CASTOR HITS THE MAT! He doesn’t respect Castor, either!
PARSONS: I’d go so far as to say Eli Flair doesn’t respect anyone across the ring from him.
BUCKLEY: Kick to the back of the head! Another! Eli with a scoop, and a hard slam to the mat! Legdrop! Cover! ONE… TWO… Kickout! Castor is dazed but he’s nowhere near finished!
PARSONS: It’s a strange dichotomy, Bill. These men were already in one match each tonight: they both had to have this finale in the back of their minds as they tried to keep from giving it all in the semis so they’d have something left for the finals, but now that we’re here, you have to believe that they both want to end this as quickly as possible
because they’ve already wrestled once tonight.
BUCKLEY: I’d have to disagree, Stan – both of these athletes have a reputation for being able to keep on wrestling past the point of no return, I think they’re going to try to end it as quickly as possible, true, but I also think it could very easily turn into a marathon match, just to see who can outlast the other.
PARSONS: That could truly embody the concept of an irresistible force and an immovable object, Bill. Two men two stubborn to lose.
BUCKLEY: Eli with a scoop, and an irish whip into the ropes, and a hard baseball swing just put Castor down again! Did you see his head bounce off the mat?
PARSONS: Castor needs to get his head together and go down low, take Eli’s legs out from under him, and take this match to the mat if he wants to have a shot, and the first step to all that is to maybe take a powder, get out of the ring and let his own head clear from the shots he’s taken?
BUCKLEY: Eli is a fairly accomplished mat wrestler himself, Stan.
PARSONS: Just playing Devil’s Advocate here, Bill. Yes, he’s accomplished on the mat, but Castor is younger, healthier, and actively maintaining his skills. I think that’ll be his strength.
BUCKLEY: Another scoop, and this time Eli has him by the neck! Ben Worthington with the count, but Eli has him up in the air by one hand! Chokeslam! And Castor rolls to the outside, holding the back of his neck while he takes a walk! Lana Dremire to his side, and Castor pacing, which I think is the best thing he can do right now: try to regroup, and try to break Eli’s momentum.
PARSONS: Um, Castor? Look up?
BUCKLEY: Eli Flair on the top turnbuckle? He rarely did that when he was active.
PARSONS: This can only end badly for someone.
BUCKLEY: DOUBLE AXEHANDLE FROM THE TOP TO THE FLOOR! CASTOR SHOVES LANA OUT OF THE WAY! ELI FLAIR’S FISTS LANDED ON TOP OF HIS HEAD!
PARSONS: Castor with a jolt…and a long, slow fall to the floor! And why is Eli down?
(CUTTO: Split screen, with real-time footage of Castor on the floor and Eli on the floor next to a slow – motion replay. The replay shows Eli making contact with the top of Castor’s head, and landing wrong – slash – awkwardly and reaching out for the ring apron to steady himself and failing at it. Back to live action.)
BUCKLEY: Much has been said and written about Eli’s knees, that might be the risk that costs him the night, Stan.
PARSONS: Not necessarily. Castor took the hit, he might’ve caught a stinger or had the lights go out for a moment on impact. Eli is already back to his feet, favoring his left knee, but the difference between these two is that Castor, win or lose, goes back to real life tomorrow as the reigning and actively defending NFW World Champion. Eli has the rest of his life to heal and rest his knees. He used to joke that he’d leave almost everything in the ring, and save just enough to get to the next town. He doesn’t even have to leave that much tonight.
BUCKLEY: Lana Dremire getting back to her feet, and she looks like she’s shaken as well, but she’s unharmed. I think that deserves another look, Stan – for all of Castor’s attitude, he pushed Lana out of the line of danger like it was instinct.
PARSONS: There was something that happened in New Frontier Wrestling earlier in the year; Eric Dane managed to steal Castor’s home, money, and production company. All he had left was the title belt and Lana Dremire. I think his actions here were fairly noble.
BUCKLEY: Eli just sent Castor back into the ring, and the NFW World Champion is pulling himself up to his knees. He’s not done yet, Stan, but he’s still had his bell rung and he needs a minute to get his bearings; whether or not Eli will allow him to do so is very much in doubt.
PARSONS: With Castor trying to get back to his feet, he’s showing he has the will to win, if not the current physical ability or mental ability: he’s had his bell pretty well rung.
BUCKLEY: There’s a noticeable limp in Eli’s step, however, and he’s favoring his left leg as he pulls Castor back to his feet, and a forearm to the back just sent the NFW World Champion into the ropes! Another forearm, and Castor is pressed up against the top rope! Hook from behind, and a German suplex with a bridge! ONE… TWO… KICKOUT by Castor Strife!
PARSONS: A little slow on that one, Bill. Castor might be starting the inevitable path to an empty tank.
BUCKLEY: It happens to every wrestler who takes punishment in a match, win or lose, Stan! Eli to his feet first, and another hook of Castor Strife! Irish Whip… Castor held onto the top on the rebound! Eli moves in to follow up – CASTOR WITH A MULE KICK! SWEEP OF THE LEG! ELI HITS THE MAT!
PARSONS: I think he noticed the knee, Bill.
BUCKLEY: Castor unable to follow up, he’s on his knees holding onto the middle rope, his eyes closed, trying to put his thoughts back in order, but he’d better hurry up, Stan – Eli is across the ring, pulling himself up on the ropes!
PARSONS: Eli’s head is definitely clearer right now. His knee is probably screaming at him but he hasn’t taken the blows to the head that Castor has; the NFW World Champion’s strategy is most definitely more scrambled.
BUCKLEY: He’s only got a few seconds, Stan, he’d better hope he – Eli with a hook from behind! Castor with a blind elbow backwards, he just caught Eli on the side of the head! 360 spin and a hard roundhouse right hand! Eli is rocked! Castor with a kick to the stomach! Another! Eli favoring his damaged knee, but Castor with another hard uppercut that snapped his opponent’s head back! Off the ropes… Running clothesline just took Eli off his feet! Cover! ONE… TWO… Kickout by Flair! Just like that, Stan, and Castor can turn a match around!
PARSONS: And the fans are cheering for Castor’s reversal. These fans are fans of both men, Bill, and from what I understand of Castor Strife, this is probably new ground for him.
BUCKLEY: These fans appreciate hard work and ingenuity, Stan, that’s what matters. That’s why Mike Randalls always received an ovation while GUNS was booed and dismissed.
PARSONS: That might have more to do with being a whiner.
BUCKLEY: Castor and Eli getting to their feet at the same time, and Castor with a dive toward Eli’s injured leg – he pulls back, but Castor with a two handed upward strike that catches Eli square in the face! His head just snapped back, and Castor with a hook, and a hard bodyslam!
PARSONS: Eli Flair is a large man, but he’s also relatively slim for his build; Castor is only about forty pounds below him and in unbelievable shape, it’s not quite as surprising that he can slam the King of Extreme.
BUCKLEY: Castor with the boots to Eli! I think he’s cleared his head, and with Eli’s knee damaged, he’s going to put his offense to his head and neck to try and knock his opponent either out or around to the point where he can’t fight back anymore.
PARSONS: And with two handfuls of hair, Castor is ignoring Ben Worthington’s threats and warnings, and pulls Eli – with his own help – to the middle of the ring.
BUCKLEY: I’m surprised more of his opponents haven’t done that over the years; regardless, Eli had no real choice but to go with it, the alternative would have been worse. And even with Ben Worthington’s threats, I don’t think we’ll see a disqualification here. He’s a wrestling fan just like the thousands of people in the arena and the millions watching at home: he wants to see a winner.
PARSONS: Long as he has the propriety to keep either man from being injured beyond repair, I think that’ll be a good plan.
BUCKLEY: Castor with a knee to Eli’s throat, and that’s a blatant disregard of the rules, Worthington with a count, and he lets up at four. Another knee to the throat, this time, coupled with right hands to the face, and Eli can do little but try to push Castor’s leg up to catch his breath! Worthington warning Castor again, and this time he’s pointing to the entranceway!
PARSONS: He wants to see a winner, but he also wants to see these guys respect the rules.
BUCKLEY: That’s a tall order sometimes.
PARSONS: Marquee says wrestling, Bill.
BUCKLEY: Castor scoops Eli, and a double underhook suplex puts him back down! He’s looking like he’s mostly recovered from the shots he took in the early goings of this match, and Eli rolling to his knees with his head on the mat, he’s suddenly found himself on the defensive!
PARSONS: No cover there. I don’t think Eli’s done, but it could be a mistake to not try for it.
BUCKLEY: At this point, Stan, they’ve both outlasted a hundred and twenty six other men, including former Unified Champions Dan Ryan and Troy Windham. I think they know what they’re doing.
PARSONS: I wonder if Castor will agree if he loses this match and that moment was the one time that Eli was dazed enough to kick out at three and a half.
BUCKLEY: Castor with another scoop, and a whip into the corner… Hornet Splash!
PARSONS: Is it really a Hornet Splash if it isn’t Hornet? Isn’t it just a splash into the corner that crushes the opponent against the turnbuckle? Next you’ll be telling us that Hornet wins.
BUCKLEY: Well, whatever it is, it just knocked the wind out of Eli Flair, and he slumps in the corner! Castor with another cross – corner whip, and another splash – ELI WITH A BOOT TO THE FACE! He’s up to the second turnbuckle, and a bulldog drives Castor headfirst into the mat! Rollover, cover, ONE… TWO… Kickout!
PARSONS: You don’t get to be NFW Champion by being easy to pin, Bill.
BUCKLEY: Nor do you get to call yourself King of Extreme by being the same, Stan, so it’s something of a wash. Eli with a scoop, and Castor with a right hand – Eli dodged it! Back suplex! Bridge! ONE… TWO… Kickout by Castor!
PARSONS: It’s a good thing this match has no time limit, because we’re going to be here for a very long time.
BUCKLEY: Eli with another scoop, and an Irish whip! Clothesline – Castor ducks! Off the other side – Flying forearm by the NFW World Champion! Eli staggers backwards into the ropes, and Castor hits the mat and rolls away! Castor to his feet… Running dropkick! Eli took the boots to the face and went over the top!
PARSONS: Right in front of Lana, who, I’m sure, remembers the near miss that she had with Eli earlier… She drives a boot into his side! Ben Worthington yelling at her – POISON IVY SPUN HER AROUND AND PUNCHED HER IN THE MOUTH!
(SFX: The inevitable ‘Catfight!’ chant along with the ‘IVY’ chant.)
BUCKLEY: Castor with a handful of Ivy’s hair, and he’s pulling her into the ring!
PARSONS: Now he’s getting booed. Ivy McGinnis is an institution in this town.
BUCKLEY: Ben Worthington trying to get between them, but Castor is relentless – Ivy just spat at him!
PARSONS: She’s fearless, but she’s also in way over her head. We talk about Eli Flair’s bum knee, but McGinnis has had a knee replacement, she’s been shot, stabbed, had several knee surgeries, broken fingers, had things explode in her face… she’s not really in any shape to physically face off against anyone, let alone the NFW World Champion.
BUCKLEY: Castor refusing to wipe her saliva off his face, and he reaches over the referee – Eli Flair grabbed his ankle from the outside and dropped the NFW World Champion to the mat! Ivy out of there, Worthington ducks back, and Eli and Castor pulling themselves up in stereo! Right hand by Castor! Right hand by Eli! Castor! Eli! Castor! Eli! Eli! Low blow by Castor Strife!
PARSONS: It’s the will to win, Bill, and it’s an attitude Eli is also familiar with.
BUCKLEY: Worthington with a warning, but Castor ignores him, hooks Eli, and drops him with a spinebuster!
PARSONS: Did you hear a crack?
BUCKLEY: We’re not the only ones, look at Castor.
PARSONS: Eli’s rolling over to the ropes, he’s getting himself up, and he doesn’t look like he’s in any more pain than he was: I don’t think anything cracked on him.
BUCKLEY: But he’s also being stalked: Castor behind him… Sleeper hold! The fans are buzzing as Eli gets to his feet, and he’s fighting it! Castor up on his back, and now Eli in a world of trouble! He’s firing fists and elbows backwards, but he can’t seem to get the right angle!
PARSONS: They say this is an antiquated move, but these fans are on their feet. We’ve got a pretty good mix of people who want to see Eli win and who want to see Castor win, but I think they’re all just cheering for the match itself.
BUCKLEY: Eli rushes backwards and sandwiches Castor against the corner – Castor blocked it with his foot, and they’re pushed back into the middle of the ring! Worthington asking Eli if he wants to give it up, but he’s still alert enough to say no.
PARSONS: Has that answer ever been ‘yes’?
BUCKLEY: Never.
PARSONS: Castor keeps the pressure on, Eli tries another corner sandwich, but Castor Strife with another block, and Eli drops to one knee!
BUCKLEY: Just for a moment, Stan.
PARSONS: I have a feeling he’s currently standing, purely fueled on stubbornness and spite.
BUCKLEY: Another attempt at a corner sandwich – Castor with another blockELI WITH A FLIP OVER HIS HEAD! He used the momentum from Castor’s block against him and flipped him right over, and Eli to his knees!
PARSONS: Castor landed on his back, and Ben Worthington landed on his face. Not a very graceful landing.
BUCKLEY: And we can see that on the replay, when Eli flipped Castor over his shoulder, Castor’s boots crashed against the referee’s head! We’ve got three men down in the ring, and two women on the outside pounding the mat for their guy to get up!
PARSONS: One of them has a shiner, Bill. I think she’s a little more motivated.
BUCKLEY: Worthington is starting to stir, Stan, and so is Castor! Eli hasn’t gotten himself up yet but his hands are pressed into his eyes, so he’s at least aware of what’s happening, and Lana Dremire just sent a chair into the ring!
PARSONS: So it really comes down to, who gets to it first? Worthington, like you said, wants to see a winner, but if he sees one of these men beating the other down with a chair, that could be all she wrote.
BUCKLEY: Castor to his knees, and he’s right next to the chair! The fans are on their feet as he scoops it up and measures his opponent… Eli backing up, he’s on his knees to Castor’s vertical base now, and the chair comes down –
PARSONS: Or not.
BUCKLEY: ELI WITH A LOW BLOW! CASTOR DROPS THE CHAIR AND DOUBLES OVER! DDT ON THE CHAIR!
PARSONS: Classic Flair reversal. And just like that, things fall into place, Worthington is starting to stir.
BUCKLEY: Eli hooks a leg, and he’s waiting! ONE! TWO! THREE! No referee! He just counted it himself, he has this match won, but there’s no referee to count!
PARSONS: Ivy and Lana are both pounding the mat, but I think they’re trying to revive different people.
BUCKLEY: We’re still without a referee, Ben Worthington is moving but he’s nowhere near in this thing!
PARSONS: Now, the question becomes, does Eli keep punishing Castor, or does he try to wake the referee?
BUCKLEY: I think we know what Eli’s more inclined to do. Scoop of Castor Strife, and a kick to the midsection! Two handfuls of hair, and a front face slam on the chair!
PARSONS: Seriously, what’s crackling?
BUCKLEY: It might be Castor’s face, Stan – he’s busted wide open! Another cover, but Worthington is still down!
PARSONS: On one hand, Eli has had the three count twice now. On the other, he’s done it in a way that the honorable Ben Worthington would never count his pin.
BUCKLEY: Finally, Eli sees that he can’t win the match without a referee, he’s got Ben by the back of the shirt, and he’s picked the referee up and propped him in the corner!
PARSONS: Turn around, Eli!
BUCKLEY: CASTOR ON HIS FEET! HE JUST BROUGHT THAT CHAIR FULL FORCE INTO ELI’S HEAD! THE KING OF EXTREME IS ROCKED BACK INTO THE ROPES! ANOTHER CHAIRSHOT! ANOTHER ! WORTHINGTON STILL HOLDING HIS HAND TO HIS FACE!
PARSONS: You talked about Castor being busted open, well, Eli was already bleeding from his match with Jack Harmen, and now he’s a walking, talking, crimson – mask – wearing cliché.
BUCKLEY: Blood is flowing freely down Elis’ face, but he’s still leaned against the top rope! Castor drops the chair, he hooks Eli by the head, and pulls him to the center of the ring!
(SFX: Massive pop from the crowd.)
BUCKLEY: SNAP SWINGING NECKBREAKER FROM CASTOR!
PARSONS: He calls it the Director’s Cut, and it’s his finish, Bill! That’s Castor’s go-to, and he just dropped Eli Flair in the middle of the ring, which is rapidly staining red! Is it irony that Eli revived the ref, only to get pinned?
BUCKLEY: Castor hooks the leg, and Worthington still in the corner! The fans are going insane, he turns his head, you can tell he’s still in pain from the shot he took, but he’s down like a champ! ONE!
PARSONS: TWO!
BUCKLEY: THREE!
PARSONS: NO!
BUCKLEY: Kickout by Eli Flair at the last second! Castor with a look of disbelief on his face, and he pounds his own fist into the mat in frustration! Lana Dremire on the outside with her jaw dropped in surprise!
PARSONS: The Curtain Call is typically The End for Castor’s matches, and even with the delayed count from the referee’s hit, that should’ve finished things off for him.
BUCKLEY: Castor with a handful of hair, and he’s pulled Eli back to his feet, and an Irish whip! Eli on the rebound… STUN GUN BY CASTOR! ANOTHER COVER! ONE… TWO… THREE!KICKOUT! KICKOUT! Eli Flair just barely got that shoulder up!
PARSONS: Bad news for Eli, Ben Worthington is getting back up.
BUCKLEY: You may be right, Stan. Eli and Castor both had this match won when there was no referee available, but now, Castor has this match well under his control and he’s inching closer and closer to a victory here!
PARSONS: To keep playing Devil’s Advocate, Bill, both men have managed to turn this match on a dime, so I’m not counting either of them out until the match is over.
BUCKLEY: Castor with a right hand to Eli, who has risen to his knees! Another right! Another – Eli with a block and a fist to the gut! Uppercut just straightened him up, and another hard baseball swing from Eli Flair – CASTOR DROPS TO HIS KNEES! ELI JUST CLOTHESLINED BEN WORTHINGTON!
PARSONS: He’s had a rough day.
BUCKLEY: That was a lot more impact than Castor’s incidental boots earlier, and Worthington isn’t moving. Castor with a legsweep, and Eli hits the mat!
PARSONS: Castor’s on all fours, breathing heavily, but to put a somewhat ridiculous label on it, he’s actually got some breathing room. He’s crawling toward the ropes while Eli’s doing the same, but he’s in pain, Bill.
BUCKLEY: I don’t know if he can put any weight on that knee, Stan.
PARSONS: The question becomes, will Eli Flair’s legendary stubbornness be enough to push him through this match?
BUCKLEY: Both men are up – barely! Castor on one side of the ring with his eyes locked on Eli, while Eli is vertical, but he’s slumped over holding onto the ropes, severely favoring his one leg.
PARSONS: And we’ve got an ovation. How long have these guys been going at it, and they’re both still able to stand?
BUCKLEY: Castor rears back on the rope, and a running start! Eli drops his shoulder and Castor gets backdropped over the top!
PARSONS: He landed on his feet, Bill, and a fist to the back of Eli’s good knee! I think he planned that.
BUCKLEY: I think you’re right, Stan! Castor pulls Eli to the floor, and an immediate shove, face first, into the post! Castor telegraphed whatever might have been on his mind when he ran at Eli, he should’ve known he’d get backdropped over the top.
PARSONS: And he did.
BUCKLEY: He certainly did, Stan! Castor with another scoop, and a whip into the adjacent ringpost, Eli just stumbled on that bad knee and hit the stairs, sending them flying!
PARSONS: We’re seeing two institutions coexist right here, Bill – Eli Flair taking a ton of abuse from his opponent, as well as the fact that he’s still getting up despite the fact that his knee looks about to collapse on itself.
BUCKLEY: Castor with another shove, and Eli sent chest – first into the guardrail! Crushing clothesline just flattened him!
PARSONS: And with no referee, there’s no limit to what can happen to Eli – or either man, for that matter – outside the ring.
BUCKLEY: Eli trying to pull himself to his feet – there is no quit in this man – while Castor climbs back to the ring apron! What’s he doing here?
PARSONS: I think he’s going to take a chance, Bill.
BUCKLEY: MISSILE DROPKICK FROM THE APRON! ELI OVER THE GUARDRAIL INTO THE FRONT ROW! CASTOR HIT THE FLOOR!
(SFX: Chant of ‘HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT!’)
PARSONS: Castor rising to his knees, he looks dazed but seemed to land as best as he could with a risk like that, unlike Eli Flair, who is sprawled out in the first two rows of seats.
BUCKLEY: Special thanks to Gregg Gethard and his security team for getting there as quickly as they did, separating the fans from Eli as he’s on his back in a sea of half – collapsed chairs.
PARSONS: It’s not over yet, Bill, we’ve got Castor Strife getting to his feet and Eli Flair with a hand on each of the chairs closest to him, trying like heck to pull himself to at least a sitting position. But that was nearly three hundred pounds of scars, ink, and attitude buried under those chairs, its’ going to take him a little time to get his bearings!
BUCKLEY: Be that as it may, he’s still with it enough to know he needs to get to his feet to even have a chance to adequately defend himself. He’s got that warrior’s instinct.
PARSONS: I hope so, because here comes Castor!
BUCKLEY: Strife is now in the crowd, and he’s approaching Eli with cruel intentions, no doubt! Eli has pulled himself up to a sitting position, but his knee just gave out as he tried to stand! CASTOR WITH A KICK TO THE FACE! Scoop by the hair, and an Irish Whip into another row of chairs! He just collapsed himself and a dozen of those commemorative folding chairs in and on himself, and now Eli is on the floor face down, his only movement heavy breathing!
PARSONS: This could be tricky. He’s already on wobbly footing, if he stepped inbetween any of those chairs, or if an arm or leg came down and folded up inside, it could be a trip to the emergency room tonight.
BUCKLEY: Castor quick on the pursuit, he’s got Eli in his sights and another scoop from behind – ELI WITH A CHAIR TO CASTOR’S FOREHEAD! CASTOR GOES DOWN! ELI GOES DOWN!
PARSONS: That was unexpected.
(CUTTO: Instant replay on CSWAVision. Castor pulled Eli up from behind, Eli had a chair in his grasp and took a blind swing that luckily met Castor square in the face. Castor lost his grip and fell backwards into the already – collapsed pile of chairs while Eli went down to his knees on rubbery legs. CUTTO: Live action.)
BUCKLEY: Castor bleeding from a nasty gash right by his temple, and Eli kneeling, resting his arm on a chair, breathing heavily with blood from his own busted forehead dripping onto the chair, his legs, and the arena floor!
PARSONS: Just another permanent souvenir.
BUCKLEY: Eli Flair slowly pulling himself to his feet, and the fans are getting louder with every inch of height he’s able to gain! He’s up! He’s up! Castor stirring at his feet!
PARSONS: And he’s nearly back down again, good thing he had a still – standing chair to brace himself against.
BUCKLEY: Indeed, Stan! Eli taking a few hesitant steps to try and work his knee back into fighting shape – he still has a pronounced limp, but it looks like he’s able to move a little better right now; he still has a chair in hand as a failsafe.
PARSONS: All the damage they’ve inflicted on each other, that chairshot might’ve been what turns the tide here. Look at Castor, he’s got something of a vacant look on his face, I don’t know if he knows where he is!
BUCKLEY: Eli with a scoop, and he just dragged Castor back to his feet! He’s dragging the NFW World Champion through the crowd, and the fans are parting like the Red Sea!
PARSONS: Pun intended?
BUCKLEY: No, happy accident.
PARSONS: At least you’re honest about it.
BUCKLEY: Eli calling for the fans by the guardrail to clear away, and they do so – taking their chairs with them! Irish Whip into the guardrail, and Pedro and Eduardo at the Spanish announce table had better look out! CASTOR REVERSED! ELI HIT THE GUARDRAIL AND KNOCKED IT INTO PEDRO! THE SPANISH ANNOUNCE TEAM SCATTERS!
PARSONS: Haven’t we really been waiting for this all night?
BUCKLEY: CASTOR WITH A RUNNING CLOTHESLINE! ELI WITH A BACKDROP! CASTOR LANDED ON TOP OF THE TABLE!
PARSONS: And he rolls off to the ground, the SAP audience is able to keep enjoying the event.
BUCKLEY: Eli still on his feet, but he’s holding himself up on the guardrail, and Castor is using the table to pull himself back up. Both men are beaten and bruised, but both men are still very much in this thing!
PARSONS: Even ‘barely’ would be considered very much in this thing right now.
BUCKLEY: Castor on unsteady legs, but he’s got Eli by the hair, and a hard shot to the face! Another! He just pulled him over the railing and set him up on the table, and Castor is going back to the apron!
PARSONS: Once was pushing it, but if he can land this it might be over.
BUCKLEY: CASTOR STRIFE WITH A SPLASH FROM THE APRON! ELI MOVED! THE TABLE JUST EXPLODED INTO A THOUSAND SPLINTERS ON IMPACT! CASTOR IS DOWN! ELI IS DOWN!
(SFX: ‘THIS IS AWESOME’ *clap clap clapclapclap*)
PARSONS: You take a chance any time you go for a high risk maneuver like that, and you always need to weigh whether the potential benefits are worth the potential disasters. In this case, Castor probably should’ve kept his feet on the ground.
BW:
ONE!
BUCKLEY: Ben Worthington is up!
PARSONS: When did that happen?
BW:
TWO!
BUCKLEY: He’s leaning against the turnbuckle, so he’s obviously still feeling the effects of the punishment he absorbed, but he’s up and wide – eyed and he’s counting these two men!
PARSONS: I know Ben didn’t want to disqualify anyone but Castor is unmoving and Eli is barely moving, what’s the call if he gets to ten and nobody’s in the ring?
BW:
THREE!
BUCKLEY: Ivy and Lana on opposite sides of these men, and they’re both shouting their encouragement – though I think they’ve both learned their respective lessons about interference.
PARSONS: One would hope.
BUCKLEY: Eli Flair with a bloodied hand on the ring apron, and he’s pulling with all his might trying to get to a vertical base!
WORTHINGTON (And the fans):
FOUR!
BUCKLEY: Castor Strife still not moving!
WORTHINGTON (And the fans):
FIVE!
PARSONS: No, he’s moving, Bill! He just rolled forward, and he’s trying to get himself up on the shattered table.
WORTHINGTON (And the fans):
SIX!
BUCKLEY: Eli with one foot underneath himself, and he’s got a hand on the bottom rope!
PARSONS: Castor is almost sitting. That’s something, right?
WORTHINGTON (And the fans):
SEVEN!
BUCKLEY: HE’S UP! HE’S UP! The fans cheering for Eli Flair as he’s on his feet, and he pushes his blood – matted hair out of his face, he’s looking around to take stock of the cheers, and he sees Castor, on the remnants of the Spanish announce table!
PARSONS: It’s always choice. Get in the ring and possibly win by countout, or go get Castor and probably win by pinfall.
WORTHINGTON (And the fans):
EIGHT!
BUCKLEY: There’s no choice at all when it comes to the King of Extreme, Stan! Eli staggers toward Castor and pulls him to his feet! It’s a struggle, Eli still can barely put any weight on his left knee, but he’s got the NFW World Champion up!
WORTHINGTON (And the fans):
NINE!
BUCKLEY: CASTOR TOSSED BACK INTO THE RING!
PARSONS: It would be ironic if Eli’s knee gave out on him at the last minute, he dropped them both, and Worthington got to ten.
BUCKLEY: Not today, Stan! Eli under the bottom rope, and a hook of the leg! ONE… TWO… THREE!
(HUGE roar from the fans.)
BUCKLEY: NO! KICKOUT! KICKOUT! Castor managed to kick out, and Eli with a look of disbelief on his face!
PARSONS: I think there’s a hint of respect in there, too. He’s actually nodding his head.
BUCKLEY: Eli Flair so close to the Ultratitle he can taste it! He scoops Castor up, and a thumb to the eye by Castor Strife! Eli lets him go and falls backward into the ropes, still up but leaning on the top while Castor falls backwards and catches himself on the middle! Worthington warns Castor, but at this point I think we can throw a disqualification out the window, Stan!
PARSONS: Even still, Worthington wants whoever wins to win it right.
BUCKLEY: Castor on his feet, and he reaches Eli before the King of Extreme can fully recover! Kick to the gut! Kick to the chest! Irish whip! NO PLACE LIKE HOME! NO PLACE LIKE HOME! Castor took Eli over with that hurracarana, and he bridges and hooks the leg from behind! ONE… TWO… THREE!KICKOUT! KICKOUT! KICKOUT! Castor punches the mat in frustration!
PARSONS: I get it, but it might’ve done better to punch Eli Flair in frustration.
BUCKLEY: He’s going for it again! Drags Eli to his feet, and another Irish whip! Eli with pain on his face with every step! NO PLACE LIKE HOME! NO! NO! ELI HELD ON! QUARTER CIRCLE SPIN! POWERBOMB! ELI JUST PUT CASTOR STRIFE NEARLY THROUGH THE MAT!
PARSONS: If this doesn’t do it…
BUCKLEY: COVER! ONE… TWO… THREE! KICKOUT! KICKOUT!
PARSONS: Like I said.
BUCKLEY: That’s it. That’s got to be it. Eli to his feet, and he pulls Castor up… Chest – first whip into the corner!
(SFX: Huge chant of ‘ELI! ELI!’ as the King of Extreme does a slow turn in the ring, draws his thumb across his throat, and points at Castor.)
PARSONS: That’s all she wrote, Bill.
BUCKLEY: Eli with Castor hooked from behind… FALLEN ONE! FALLEN ONE! That reverse DDT just drove the back of Castor’s head right into the mat! Hook of the leg! Cover! ONE… TWO… THREE!
(SFX: Gigantic fan pop as Eli raised his hand in victory.)
BUCKLEY: ELI FLAIR HAS JUST WON THE ULTRATITLE! ELI FLAIR IS THE 2012 ULTRATITLE CHAMPION! Let’s go to Rhubarb for the official announcement!
PARSONS: Wait…
(SFX: The hand – held camera zoomed in on the side of the ring. More specifically, Castor Strife’s foot draped over the bottom rope. Eli didn’t fight it when Worthington pointed it out and pulled his hand down.)
BUCKLEY: CASTOR WITH HIS FOOT ON THE ROPES! BEN WORTHINGTON SAYS THAT THIS MATCH WILL CONTINUE!! These fans are on their feet, they’re itching to see which of these men can pull it out! Eli pulls Castor away from the bottom rope… and he’s going up top?
PARSONS: The risks paid off for him earlier in the match, and Castor had so – so luck doing the same. This right here, with Eli’s aerial ability combined with his injured leg and sheer mass? Either the smartest thing he could do or the dumbest thing he could do.
BUCKLEY: He’s certainly taking his time getting to the top – I don’t blame him, he’s going to need to compensate for his knee, but every second gives Castor another second of recovery, and the NFW World Champion is already stirring! He’s got his hand on the second rope, and I think we’re going to see him go right back down as soon as—
PARSONS: —Eli’s up! He just needs to keep his –
BUCKLEY: CASTOR JUST SHOVED THE TOP ROPE! ELI CROTCHED HIMSELF ON THE CORNER!
(SFX: Collective groan of pain that worked its way through the crowd.)
PARSONS: Now Eli’s hanging on for dear life to the top, but Castor is doing the same on the top rope, and he’s almost to his feet!
BUCKLEY: There’s pain etched all across Eli Flair’s face, but he’s not letting himself break.
PARSONS: Break, Eli! That’s the most cause anyone ever had to break!
BUCKLEY: Castor to his feet! He just staggered to the corner, and fired a right hand to Eli’s face! He held onto the other side of the top rope while doing so, and fired another!
PARSONS: Now, this is a risk nobody has to take.
BUCKLEY: CASTOR CLIMBING THE CORNER! HE’S PULLING ELI UP WITH HIM! WE’RE GOING TO SEE A SUPERPLEX!
PARSONS: He can get him over, I think he’ll get this one. But at the same token, if Eli can hang on and shove Castor to the mat, it could just as easily be over in the other direction.
BUCKLEY: Castor has him up, and he’s hooked! Superplex – ELI WITH A FIST TO THE RIBS! ANOTHER! CASTOR HOLDS ONTO ELI’S HAIR!
PARSONS: At this point, who’s got control of whom?
BUCKLEY: BOTH MEN FLY OFF THE TOP ROPE! OH MY GOODNESS!
(SFX: GIGANTIC CRASH! Stunned silence from the crowd, followed by yet another ‘HOLY SHIT!’ chant.)
(CUTTO: Ivy McGinnis, stunned and unmoving on the outside.)
(CUTTO: Lana Dremire, her hands over her O shaped mouth, shocked.)
(CUTTO: The ring, where a huge gaping hole with jagged edges has swallowed up the two wrestlers.)
PARSONS: And now we count again?
BUCKLEY: Ben Worthington frozen, and I don’t blame him! Let’s see that again!
(CUTTO: Slow – motion instant replay. On the left of the screen, there’s the hole, unmoving. On the right, both men are on the top turnbuckle, struggling for control, when they both flew off the top. They landed in one spot in a heap, only the plywood under the canvas gave way with jagged edges that ripped the canvas itself, and they both went through the ring to the floor below.)
PARSONS: At least now we know what the crackling was. Someone’s gonna get sued for the ring giving way.
BUCKLEY: Still no movement from either man, and Worthington is hesitant to start counting again! He’s waving toward the entranceway, and here comes a medical team with two stretchers! It’s a shame to see this end like –
PARSONS: You’ve gotta be kidding me.
(CUTTO: The ring, where one hand, wrapped in tape and covered in blood, has reached up to grab the edge of the ring. HUGE ovation from the crowd as Eli Flair reemerges, splinters in his hair and blood caked on his face.)
BUCKLEY: ELI FLAIR IS UP! ELI FLAIR IS UP!
PARSONS: He’s out of the hole, Bill, he’s crawling. That’s hardly ‘up.’
BUCKLEY: Flair leans back on his knees, and he just ran his hands over his forehead and through his hair, and leaned back, spraying the mat all around him with blood, splinters, and bits of canvas fiber… CASTOR STRIFE IS GETTING UP! CASTOR STRIFE IS GETTING UP! HE’S PULLING HIMSELF OUT OF THE HOLE!
PARSONS: Look at the look on Eli’s face. I didn’t think either man could get up after that, and Eli obviously didn’t think Castor could do the same.
BUCKLEY: Castor is moving just as slowly and deliberately as Eli was; I say he’s probably trying to figure out whether or not he’s actually seriously hurt. The medics have all stopped at the ramp, and they’re waiting to see what comes next!
PARSONS: Eli… offers Castor a handshake?
(CUTTO: The ring, where Eli is still rocked back on his knees and Castor is on all fours, both men trying to get themselves together to the point where they can get back to their feet, but Eli has his hand raised toward the NFW World Champion.)
BUCKLEY: Castor shakes! The ultimate sign of respect! Eli rolls backward to his feet and helps Castor back to his, and we’ve got a standing ovation!
PARSONS: We’ve also still got a match. Castor with a right hand!
BUCKLEY: Eli fires one back! Castor! Eli! Castor! Eli! Castor! Eli ducked! Castor swings wide, Eli hooks him from behind, and an Atomic Drop! Castor went over the top and did a 360! He’s behind Eli! Full nelson, dragon suplex! ELI BROKE THE HOLD AND DROPPED DOWN! HE HOOKED CASTOR AROUND THE WAIST WITH HIS LEGS! CASTOR DROPPED DOWN ONTO ELI’S SHOULDERS! WORTHINGTON IN POSITION! ONE… TWO… THREE!
(The world held its breath.)
(SFX: DING DING DING!)
(Exhale.)
JONES: The winner of this bout… and your TWO THOUSAND AND TWELVE… ULTRATITLE CHAMPION…
CAAAAAAAASTORRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!! VEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!! STRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIFE!!!!
(CUEUP: Bauhaus.)
BUCKLEY: Castor and Eli both on the mat, sucking in as much oxygen as they can, after the war they put each other through I don’t know how either man will ever be the same! Worthington holding Castor’s arm up in victory as Lana Dremire just slid into the ring to check on him! Ivy does the same for Eli Flair, and here come the medics!
