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Packschmid
Guest
(FADEIN: GUNS in his San Antonio ranch, wearing a Battle of the Belts T-shirt.)
GUNS: So our road trip to Virginia has come and gone, and now it's time for Chad Merritt's little ego trip called Battle of the Belts - mixed and matched tag teams fighting for the eventual right to get into a battle royal to be the #1 contender. (Chuckles.) #1 contender to what? The 1988 Heavyweight Championship of the World battle between Bugbrain and the Living Psycho? Some prize.
My teammates may be slightly disappointed to hear this, but I've said from the moment I walked through these doors that the CSWA World Heavyweight title is about as valuable to me as an ice cube in Alaska, but there are others on my team - whether they be Shane Southern or "Mr. CSWA" himself, who are DYING to get that belt strapped around their waist. Southern's never climbed that mountain, so he has an excuse. But, Troy, you've been handed that belt on a silver platter before - you know firsthand how worthless it is - so your desire to get the belt is nothing short of pure ego. You need the belt, no matter how worthless it truly is, to build your sense of self-worth, because deep down underneath it all, you know you're not HALF as popular with the mainstream media as you pretend to be, you know that Britney and Christina and the Olsen Twins wouldn't so much as give you the time of day if they saw you at an A-list Hollywood party, unless they were asking you to park their car. You're a fraud, Troy Windham, which means you have a lot in common with the CSWA World Heavyweight title.
Finally, my other partner is a true old friend - Tom Adler. (Smiles.) Adler saw how popular this whole faction thing was becoming so he dusted off some low midcarder from the past, paired him with the human bump machine Nathan Storm, got Maxwell Diamond out of mothballs, and tried to get a little piece of the pie. Not as dramatic as the formation of the Intruders, to be sure, but I'll give you points for effort anyway, Tom. You've had a couple of chances to win the World title, Tom, and whether voluntarily or not, you've come up short. I don't know how much the belt itself means to you, Tom, but I know damn well how much it means to you for your peers and your public to think you're the best.
All three of you would like nothing better than to win and advance to that battle royal, but I'm dealing with a quandry here. You see, in order for that to happen - in order for you to reach your goals, then Eddie Mayfield and Craig Miles have to lose their titles. And I'm not prepared to let that happen.
Shane Southern - before Virginia Beach, I told you that I would make sure you were torn apart, and you were. You got beaten down, battered, and in the end, you were tossed into the third row. And that was just a warmup. You had your chance to be on the right side of this war, Shane, and you passed it up.
Tom Adler - you want to be the best, but those days are long gone, my friend. You and I have gone around the block enough times that there's not much mystery left, but Eddie and Craig - they like the idea of beating you and making you suffer. That's fine by me. When they're working you over at Battle of the Belts, Tom, don't be looking my way for the hot tag.
And then there's Troy. I've been waiting to get back into the ring with you for a long time, son. Don't think that the minor technicality of us being on the same team is going to help you.
On paper, it looked so good, didn't it? A Dream Team - Shane Southern, Troy Windham, Tom Adler, and GUNS. How could they lose? Well, Merritt may have stacked the deck, but now I've evened the playing field a bit. Now it's 5 on 3, whether Merritt likes it or not. There's no mystery - you don't have to guess who the mole is - I'm standing right in front of you.
GUNS: So our road trip to Virginia has come and gone, and now it's time for Chad Merritt's little ego trip called Battle of the Belts - mixed and matched tag teams fighting for the eventual right to get into a battle royal to be the #1 contender. (Chuckles.) #1 contender to what? The 1988 Heavyweight Championship of the World battle between Bugbrain and the Living Psycho? Some prize.
My teammates may be slightly disappointed to hear this, but I've said from the moment I walked through these doors that the CSWA World Heavyweight title is about as valuable to me as an ice cube in Alaska, but there are others on my team - whether they be Shane Southern or "Mr. CSWA" himself, who are DYING to get that belt strapped around their waist. Southern's never climbed that mountain, so he has an excuse. But, Troy, you've been handed that belt on a silver platter before - you know firsthand how worthless it is - so your desire to get the belt is nothing short of pure ego. You need the belt, no matter how worthless it truly is, to build your sense of self-worth, because deep down underneath it all, you know you're not HALF as popular with the mainstream media as you pretend to be, you know that Britney and Christina and the Olsen Twins wouldn't so much as give you the time of day if they saw you at an A-list Hollywood party, unless they were asking you to park their car. You're a fraud, Troy Windham, which means you have a lot in common with the CSWA World Heavyweight title.
Finally, my other partner is a true old friend - Tom Adler. (Smiles.) Adler saw how popular this whole faction thing was becoming so he dusted off some low midcarder from the past, paired him with the human bump machine Nathan Storm, got Maxwell Diamond out of mothballs, and tried to get a little piece of the pie. Not as dramatic as the formation of the Intruders, to be sure, but I'll give you points for effort anyway, Tom. You've had a couple of chances to win the World title, Tom, and whether voluntarily or not, you've come up short. I don't know how much the belt itself means to you, Tom, but I know damn well how much it means to you for your peers and your public to think you're the best.
All three of you would like nothing better than to win and advance to that battle royal, but I'm dealing with a quandry here. You see, in order for that to happen - in order for you to reach your goals, then Eddie Mayfield and Craig Miles have to lose their titles. And I'm not prepared to let that happen.
Shane Southern - before Virginia Beach, I told you that I would make sure you were torn apart, and you were. You got beaten down, battered, and in the end, you were tossed into the third row. And that was just a warmup. You had your chance to be on the right side of this war, Shane, and you passed it up.
Tom Adler - you want to be the best, but those days are long gone, my friend. You and I have gone around the block enough times that there's not much mystery left, but Eddie and Craig - they like the idea of beating you and making you suffer. That's fine by me. When they're working you over at Battle of the Belts, Tom, don't be looking my way for the hot tag.
And then there's Troy. I've been waiting to get back into the ring with you for a long time, son. Don't think that the minor technicality of us being on the same team is going to help you.
On paper, it looked so good, didn't it? A Dream Team - Shane Southern, Troy Windham, Tom Adler, and GUNS. How could they lose? Well, Merritt may have stacked the deck, but now I've evened the playing field a bit. Now it's 5 on 3, whether Merritt likes it or not. There's no mystery - you don't have to guess who the mole is - I'm standing right in front of you.