THE BEST OF EPW, DISC 1

[DBrunkGXW]

The Best of EPW, Disc One.

Chapters:

1. Karl “The Dragon” Brown vs. Foxx – Russian Roulette II

2. Christian Sands vs. Beast – Black Dawn 2004 – World Title Tournament Finals

3. Cameron Cruise Project © vs. Christian Sands & Lindsay Troy – Wrestleverse I – World Tag Team Title Match

4. Beast © vs. Adam Benjamin vs. Boogie Smallz – Wrestleverse I – World Title Match

5. “Mr. Main Event” Rob Sampson vs. “Gentleman” Jonathan Marx – Aggression 1

6. Christian Sands © vs. Beast – Unleashed 2004 – World Title Match

7. CLASSIC SEGMENTS: Beast faces his final hurdle to get a rematch for the World Title

8. Beast © vs. Dis – Russian Roulette 2005 – World Title Match

9. Cameron Cruise vs. Joey Melton [Cage Match] – Black Dawn 2005

10. Dan Ryan vs. IrishRed [Street Fight] – Wrestleverse II – For Six Months Control of EPW

11. Beast © vs. Joey Melton – Aggression 16 – World Title Match

12. Fusenshoff © vs. Layne Winters – Aggression 45 – EPW TV Title Match

13. CLASSIC SEGMENTS: Dan Ryan fires Tariq Ismail

14. JA vs. Karl “The Dragon” Brown – Black Dawn 2005 – Intercontinental Title Match

15. CLASSIC SEGMENTS: Hornet WINZ!1!!

16. “Queen of the Ring” Lindsay Troy © vs. Beast vs. Kin Hiroshi vs. “Triple X” Sean Stevens vs. Joey Melton vs. Karl “The Dragon” Brown © - Unleashed 2006 – World Title Match

17. CLASSIC SEGMENTS: Beastlet

18. James Irish © vs. “The Phenom” Shawn Hart vs. Cameron Cruise vs. Fusenshoff – Black Dawn 2008 – EPW TV Title Match

19. Cameron Cruise © vs. First – Wrestleverse III – Intercontinental Title Match​

 

[DBrunkGXW]

Karl “The Dragon” Brown vs. Foxx – Russian Roulette II

[CUT TO: Layne Winters in front of an EPW backdrop.]

LAYNE WINTERS: “F*ck this match, and lemme tell you why. Foxx weighs 135 pounds, and she's hitting rolling suplexes on you, Karl? She kicked the hell out of you, when really it's her job to be making you scrambled eggs and pancakes. And don't give me this "But Lindsay Troy..." bullcrap; Lindsay Troy is bigger than some men I know, and she's probably on the sauce. Any man who gets slapped around by Foxx needs to get the f*ck out my ring. But yeah, besides that, great match.”

[Cut back to the broadcast booth]

MN: Yikes!

DM: Looks like Ice Tre is gonna be around a while!!

DT: Thanks to Sean Stevens….but I don’t think this is necessarily good news for Ice Tre. Maybe he should’ve taken off when he had the chance.

MN: I dunno. Ice Tre’s a pretty smart guy. He can figure it out.

DM: I don’t know about that, Neely. I’d say he’s about your intellectual equal.

MN: EXACTLY!

[Dean and Dave just stare at Mike, smiling.]

MN: What?!

DT: Let’s just go to our next match.

TONY FATORA: Th’ following contest is scheduled for one fall, with no time limit, and is for the Empire Pro Wrestling INTERCONTINENTAL CHAMPIONSHIP!!

Introducing first, the challenger…

[CUE UP: “Angel Witch” by Angel Witch, as a spotlight focuses on the entranceway. As the main guitar kicks in, the crowd give a huge cheer as Foxx steps out from behind the curtain, stretching at the top of the ramp for a few seconds before walking down to the ring, lapping in the adulation]

TONY FATORA: Weighing in at one hundred and thirty four pounds, and hailing from San Antonio, Texas… she is the number one contender…

FOXX!!

DT: What an opportunity for Foxx tonight, stepping up from the TV title to face the almost two year Intercontinental Champion!

MN: Who’s she beaten though?

DM: Troy Douglas.

DT: Karla Starr.

DM: Ninja K.

DT: Jared Wells.

MN: …besides them.

TONY FATORA: And the opponent…

[CUT the lights, a few seconds before we CUE UP “Rainmaker” by Iron Maiden. The crowd goes BALLISTIC as the white and green lights cascade throughout the arena, and “The Dragon” jogs down to the ring, high-fiving fans]

TONY FATORA: From Nottingham, England, weighing in at two hundred and eleven pounds… he is the reigning and defending Empire Pro Wrestling Intercontinental Champion…

KARL “THE DRAGON” BROWN!!

DT: And here’s the champ! Almost two years with the belt!

MN: His time to lose it.

DM: You think he’s going to lose?

MN: Yes! Miss Troy-Windham had a two year plus reign and lost, and Brown’s only IC champ!

DT: How much have you lost betting against him before now?

MN: More than I can count.

DM: Eleven bucks?

MN: At least I can walk.

DM: Not if you keep with that attitude.

DT: Guys, we’ve only got two matches left, no killing each other!

MN: …ok… so long as I get to cheer Joey!

DT: A shake of the hands, there’s the bell, and we’re under way!

MN: Sports-person-shipage? No fun!

DT: You expect something else from these two?

MN: I dunno, maybe Hardcore Dragon to come back? Is that too much to ask?

DM: Probably.

DT: They’re circling each other, I don’t think Foxx wants to get into a collar and elbow or a test of strength with Brown.

DM: He does have almost an eighty pound weight advantage, so that’d be a safe bet.

DT: Foxx charging in for a double-leg, Brown over the top, takes her down with a shoulder tackle. Off the ropes, Foxx underneath, leapfrog, Mexican no! Brown lands on his feet, back off the ropes, hiptoss attempt by Foxx, but Brown blocks it! Brown switches into a headlock, but Foxx forces him off the ropes, but Brown with a shoulder block again!

DM: Faster-paced than I expected.

DT: And it’s not over yet, as Brown forces her back to the ropes, reversal on the whip, and FINALLY Foxx takes Brown down with a leg-lariat!

MN: Woman got game!

DT: Foxx going for a cover, but Brown quickly with the kickout.

DM: And the crowd really cheering as they both get to their feet.

DT: I’m not surprised by this crowd reaction! That was a hell of a sequence!

[Brown, on one knee, smiles as Foxx, in a fighting posture, smiles back at him. The crowd keep cheering, as Brown pulls himself up by the ropes, straightening his left kneepad, before Foxx starts circling]

DT: Brown seems a little more cautious than usual.

DM: I’m not sure he’s being cautious, or just waiting. With all the impressive moves we’ve seen him pull out, we tend to forget he’s got one of the quickest minds in wrestling right now, he’s probably just waiting for the right opportunity.

DT: It might be a while before he finds it. Brown back to his feet, Foxx quickly steps in, waistlock, Brown reverses into a hammerlock

MN: Not more high-speed action!

DT: Doesn’t look like it, Mike. Brown with the hammerlock, blocking Foxx’s attempts to get out of the hold, trips her down to the canvas and switches his position!

DM: I think this is going to be the smart strategy for Brown; he’s got the weight and power advantage, he’s at a speed disadvantage, don’t try to match her for speed, just take her out, keep her grounded.

MN: I’m sure he’s done that before, wink nudge nudge wink.

DT: One, you ruined that phrase, and secondly, men and women can be friends without it going further.

DM: Mike doesn’t know that, he doesn’t even get to the friend stage with women.

[Continuing to apply the pressure, Brown pulls up on the wrist. Foxx slaps her shoulder as best she can to keep the blood flow, trying at the same time to swivel her hips to get a chance to break the hold, but before she can, Brown jumps up slightly, driving his knee into his friend’s shoulder. Unperturbed, Foxx refuses to give up, and Brown, sensing he’s not going to get a submission, switches his position again, letting Foxx get to her feet, the hammerlock still applied]

DT: Foxx in a world of hurt if she can’t break the hold.

DM: Lots of ways for her to break the hold from here though.

MN: Stupid Dragon.

DM: One thing Brown isn’t is stupid.

MN: He’s been stupid since he stopped being Hardcore Downtown Dragon Brown.

DT: Foxx trying to run round the ring… is this wise? Brown’s keeping the hold on…

DM: Up the corner, backflip over and a dropkick to the back! Brown goes sternum first into the corner, and Foxx with a charge and both knees to the back!

DT: And now it’s Foxx with the advantage! Turning Brown around, a chop across the chest, steps back, spin-kick to the ribs, and the Irish whip across the ring.

[Brown goes straight into the turnbuckle chest first again, leaning against the ropes as Foxx charges in again. Hearing her, Brown ducks out and away from her splash attempt, hooking her by the waist as she turns and just THROWS her overhead with a belly to belly suplex! Foxx lands well, but a little shaken, as Brown moves in for the cover, but only manages a two count, and that just barely. Smiling, he steps back, measuring his opponent – but this time, it’s Foxx who was clearly thinking ahead, executing a perfect forward roll to duck under the clothesline attempt. Using her momentum, she rebounds off the ropes, scoring with a cross body block, getting a one count before Brown kicks out, and both wrestlers spring to their feet]

DT: More fast action, they’re not leaving anything behind are they.

MN: Meh. Not enough blood or nudity.

DM: I’m amazed. A woman’s out there and Mike isn’t drooling.

MN: She’s wrestling a Brit, you know their teeth suck.

DM: Teeth can’t suck…

MN: But Foxx

DT: I’m gonna cut you off there. Both competitors standing poised, middle of the ring, Foxx saying something… what’s going on?

DM: Looks like she’s calling for a martial arts contest?

MN: No way!

DT: I think I’ve got to agree with Dean, Brown’s smiling back.

[In the ring, Foxx has taken a fighting stance, as Brown just smirks, shaking his head and rolling his eyes. “You sure?” he says, as the referee tells the two to go back to the action, but Foxx ignores the ref, nodding at Brown. Shrugging his shoulders slightly, Brown steps his right foot back, turning it ninety degrees, and adopts a perfect fighting stance of his own… just in time to block a high turning kick to the head! Foxx swings again, this time a straight punch aimed at the chest, but Brown blocks that too, pushing her away with a push kick to give himself room to aim a spinning side kick. Foxx spins around, dodging the blow, and manages to connect with an elbow to the back, but as she goes for a sweep, Brown jumps, turning in mid-air and narrowly missing with a turning kick. The crowd aren’t really sure what to make of the martial arts display, as the two trade blows and counters, neither able to land a decent enough blow to win the contest, until Foxx aims a front snap kick for Brown’s solar plexus – a costly move, as it transpires, as Brown deflects the kick with an inner-midsection block with enough force to knock the vixen off balance. Staggered slightly, Foxx is unable to block the light half-turning kick to her ribs, nor the push-kick to the chest, which knocks her to the canvas. Brown quickly steps in, looking as if he’s going to execute a karate side-stomp, but, seeing Foxx back away slightly, decides against it, backing away himself and letting her get to her feet]

DT: Wow! I never knew those two were so good at martial arts!

DM: Foxx did better in that than I expected, Brown’s actually a fourth level black belt in taekwondo.

DT: Really?

DM: Would I say it if it wasn’t true?

MN: Yes.

DT: Regardless, neither seems to be able to get much of an advantage right now.

[The crowd cheers, as Foxx manages to get cautiously to her feet, only to be met with a boot to the gut by Brown. Using the advantage, he hooks her arms, executing a double-arm suplex. Rather than going for the pin, he picks her back up, slamming her down and dropping the elbow across the chest. Picking her off the canvas again, he whips her across the ring, connecting with a drop toe-hold on the rebound, and floats over into a side headlock. Foxx, though, managed to get one hand in the way, meaning Brown is unable to lock his hands, and, after a few seconds struggle, Foxx manages to get to her feet, spinning out of the hold and applying her first real hold of the match, a wrist-lock. Instinctively, Brown reaches out for the ropes, but Foxx switches momentarily to an armdrag, launching him into the middle of the ring, where she steps one leg over to stop him rolling away from the hold, bending back on his wrist and elbow against her thigh]

DT: Very nice moves there from Foxx, getting out of trouble and putting Brown on the back foot!

DM: It’s not what I expected, but she has shown hints of her potential in the past. You don’t get so many big-name scalps without being talented.

DT: And the way she’s positioned herself, Brown can’t do much except take the pain.

MN: I didn’t know he was into that kind of thing.

DT: I’ve never asked him, nor do I intend to. He’s in trouble the longer he stays in the hold though.

DM: But he’s not exactly going to submit to this.

[True. He does, however, try to get out of the hold, trying to force Foxx’s leg away to give himself room to move. Seeing what he’s doing, she gets to her feet, using the wrist-lock to control him, and drives a knee in his gut, followed by an elbow to the arm. Turning his wrist in one hand, she runs over to a corner, up the ropes, and comes off with an armdrag/DDT combination. The crowd cheer the sudden athleticism, as she turns Brown over, holding one arm down and covering him]

DT: One

TWO!

And the kickout by the champ.

MN: She’s surprising me.

DT: But you had her down to win the title!

MN: I’m surprised she’s taken so long to do it!

DT: She’s in control right now though, picking the champ up off the canvas, and a side Russian leg-sweep takes him back down.

DM: She may have the advantage, but having and keeping are two different things.

DT: Yes, but can Brown come back? Foxx going right back to the arm, bending it back at the elbow.

DM: But Brown managing to get to his feet pretty quickly this time, he’s shaking his head, forces her back to the ropes…

DT: Irish whip far side, Brown ducks under, leapfrog… TILT a whirl! Brown with a tilt-a-whirl slam may have just shut down Foxx!

TWO!!

No! Kickout by the challenger this time!

DM: See? Just like that, there is why he’s the Intercontinental Champion.

[Unperturbed by the two count, Brown lifts the smaller combatant to her feet, hooking her head, and delivering a snap suplex. He floats into a cover, but Foxx kicks out before the referee can leap over the two and into position. Shaking his arm out, Brown picks his friend back from the canvas, and rocks her with a right hand. Grabbing her leg, he executes a dragonscrew leg-whip, dropping the elbow into her inner thigh and pulling back, bending the knee in one of the many ways knees aren’t meant to go. The referee asks Foxx if she wants to give up, but she shakes her head, grabbing Brown by the chin and trying to get him to loosen his grip]

DM: Always a smart move to take someone’s legs out.

DT: But Foxx really trying to get out of the hold, pulling hard back on the chin.

MN: I want hardcore.

DM: Bad Mikey.

DT: Brown pulling back on the leg still, and look at the pain on the face of Foxx – in the right hands, each of these moves can be a match ender, and Brown is definitely one of those who can do it.

DM: Take nothing away from Foxx, though – she’s going to be a world champion if she keeps going and doesn’t get discouraged.

DT: Brown with the leglock still applied, Foxx again trying to force the break, but Brown’s having none of it.

DM: I’d head to the ropes.

DT: But Brown’s leaning back, pulling back on the leg, I’m not sure if she can move.

MN: She’s used to being under him.

DT: Either you’ve been spying on them, or you’re an imbecile.

DM: I’d go with the latter.

[During the habitual insult-throwing amongst the commentary team, Brown’s released the hold, only to stamp on Foxx’s left hamstring three times. The referee asks him to let her back to her feet, but Brown simply yanks on the leg, lifting the smaller combatant clean off the canvas, before she slams back down. Rather than repeat the move, Brown this time does lift her off the canvas, taking her down with a side slam in a rare display of pure-overpowering behaviour from the lightweight. He attempts a cover, but only gets a two count; rather than being perturbed, he quickly rolls Foxx onto her stomach, and, with one foot on the back of her leg, falls over her, lifting her lower body off the canvas, and stretches her leg]

DT: Just listen to Foxx! The pain on her face!

DM: She’s lucky she’s so flexible, but Brown falling down like that added a lot of strain to the hold.

MN: Don’t tell me I’ve lost more money!!

DT: Foxx trying to reach out to the ropes, but she’s in a lot of pain, she can’t straighten her arm out far enough.

DM: She’s only a few inches away.

MN: Come on, woman!

DT: She’s straining, trying to reach… makes it! Brown’s got to release the hold!

[Smiling, the IC champ breaks quickly, rolling away and letting Foxx stretch her leg as she tries to pull herself to her feet. She takes her time, slowly trying to straighten the leg out, but Brown quickly charges in, hooking her in a waistlock from behind, and takes her overhead with a fierce release German suplex! The crowd groan as Foxx lands badly, legs over-head, and she falls to the canvas holding her neck.]

DT: One!!

TWO!!

THNO!! I thought she was done-for when she landed like that, it’s a testament she didn’t break her neck!

DM: She wasn’t expecting Karl to go for the suplex like that I think, so she wasn’t prepared for the landing.

DT: Is there anything you can do to protect yourself?

DM: If you can tell it’s coming you can make sure you land properly. The problem with some wrestlers is they’re so quick at hitting the move you’ve barely got time to register what’s coming.

DT: At a guess Brown’s one of those, as he takes her down again with a stiff short-arm clothesline. He’s being very methodical, we’ve come to expect that from him since he won the IC title, as he goes right back to the leg with the spinning toe-hold! Winding up… and again! Foxx isn’t going to be able to use that leg much longer if this keeps up!

MN: BAH! Next time, I’m betting on him to infuriate me!

DT: Brown holding the leg, dragging Foxx back into the centre of the ring… figure four leg lock! She’s got nowhere to go!

DM: And Brown’s been focusing on different parts of the leg. I don’t think he’s been trying to get a submission until now, he’s just been working over every part of the leg, the knee, the hamstring, the calf and ankle with the spinning toe-hold, and now he’s working on the knee and quads.

DT: Foxx is trying to fight it, but Brown’s just been unrelenting since he took the advantage.

MN: She’s got no hope. My money, down the drain!

DT: Her chance at the Intercontinental Championship down the drain if she can’t figure a way out of this.

DM: She’s reaching for the ropes, but they’re way too far away.

[And, if that wasn’t enough, Brown lifts himself up on his arms, applying even more pressure on the legs of the vixen. She lets out a yell and, in frustration, slaps the canvas, as the crowd try to get behind her. The referee asks if she wants to submit, but the response is less than polite – more out of frustration at being dominated as she has the past several minutes than anything else. Brown again lifts himself on his hands, applying more pressure, and Foxx absentmindedly lets her shoulders hit the canvas – but gets them up at one]

MN: I’m guessing Brown learned something from tagging with Mrs Troy-Windham-Melton-Cruise-Michaels and Joey.

DT: Lindsay was only married to one of them!

DM: Possibly two Meltons.

DT: Anyways, Brown’s been using the figure four for longer than that, as Foxx is finding out. She’s in a lot of pain, look at her on her side there, trying to find some way out of the hold…

DM: SHE’S TURNED IT!

DT: Foxx just used her weight and spun around, flipping her legs and taking Brown part of the way with her! Brown had no choice but to go over with her or tear his knee, and Foxx has an Indian Deathlock applied in the centre of the ring!

DM: Brown’s trying to break the hold, but Foxx is pushing back and forcing his legs to bend too far for him to break out easily!

MN: BOO-YEAH! Win me the money!!

DT: Brown… FINALLY able to break the hold! What a turn of events, the figure four into an Indian deathlock!

DM: The deathlock hurts a lot more than the figure four, especially on Brown’s left knee, but Foxx’s left leg was worked over so much before and in the hold she might not be in a state to capitalise fully.

DT: She’s struggling, trying to get to her feet, and Brown’s back up on the far side. It looks like his left knee’s bothering him.

MN: She hasn’t touched it!

DM: He injured it as a kid, and all he’s ever done is a bit of rest here and there, he needs to get it cut open sometime, but he’s too proud a competitor and a champion to take the time off for that.

MN: Umph, show-off.

DT: Brown now moving in, but Foxx with a kick to the gut! Foxx using that left leg to kick out, holding the ropes – kick to the gut again! Foxx firing back, chop to the chest! Brown coming back in, Foxx ducks under HURRICANRANO!

ONE!!

TWO!!!

THRNO!! Foxx BARELY kicks out as Brown blocked the hurricanrana attempt with a powerbomb!

DM: We often forget just how strong Brown really is. He’s suplexed a five hundred pound man from the top rope before, and he just demonstrated some of that strength there – you don’t need massive muscles to have strength.

DT: This must be it then, I don’t see how Foxx can come back after that. Brown picking her up off the canvas, almost peeling his friend up, and throws her back into the corner. Right hand to the face, Irish whip across the ring, Foxx sternum first into the buckle!

[Leaning back into the corner, it’s almost as if Brown’s feeling sorry for Foxx. But, with a match to win, he charges in, as the crowd gear-up for the splash…

but it never arrives! At the last moment, Foxx ducks out of the way, sending Brown crashing into the corner. Then, showing how much life she still has left, she springs forward, using Brown as almost a step-ladder, and climbs over him onto the top turnbuckle! She stands on her right leg, perfectly balanced, as she kicks Brown in the face with her heel, sending him reeling as she catches the top of his nose. His eyes watering, Brown can only stagger back, as his opponent checks her balance. The crowd are going mad for the sudden agility shown by the challenger, but before she even thinks of acknowledging it, she spots Brown in position. Leaping back, she executes a perfect backwards somersault, catching Brown with a reverse DDT!]

DT: TWO!!!

NO!! Brown BARELY, BARELY able to kick out!

DM: What a show of agility from Foxx! I’ve never seen anything quite like that, especially as we’re approaching the twenty minute mark since the opening bell.

DT: She’s managed to stay in this match, using her speed and flexibility, and we just saw why she’s one of the most dangerous opponents in the squared circle.

MN: She’s the only opponent for Brown right now, dummy.

DT: You know what I meant, Mike. Foxx picking Brown off the canvas, takes him down with a snapmare, and a somersault elbow drop to the chest!!

ONE!!

TWO!!!

KICKOUT again by the champ!

DM: This is pure adrenaline from Foxx, especially with how Brown was targeting the leg earlier.

DT: Whatever it is, it’s put her in control. Foxx grabbing the arm, pulling Brown to his feet, wrings the arm and PLANTS a right hand in the elbow! Kick to the chest, and another shot to the arm!

MN: Not back to boring wrestling again!!

[No, Neely, it’s not. Still holding the arm, Foxx runs part way past her larger opponent, before jumping up and round at speed, wrapping Brown’s arm around his own neck! Holding that arm, she hooks the other into a hammerlock, before rocking her hips back to gain momentum, taking Brown down in a nasty looking suplex, him landing on his front, almost on his face]

DT: ONE!

TWO!!

THKIckout by the champion again!

DM: Was that move impressive enough for you, Neels?

MN: Yessir.

DT: Foxx is really showing what she’s worth out there, as she applies a straightjacket on the canvas, working over the arms and trying to get Brown to choke himself out!

MN: Lovers tiff.

DT: It’s two friends going for the same goal, Mike.

MN: Come on, we all know there’s something there.

DM: I was talking to Karl about that earlier, and he said something about only idiots thinking men and women who spend time together must automatically be an item.

DT: Mike is an idiot, though.

MN: … I’ll get Beau Michaels on you, don’t think I won’t!

DT: Foxx with her knee in the back of the champion, he’s trapped it looks like.

DM: But Foxx isn’t going to get more than a chance to rest out of this.

[She knows. A few seconds later, she stands up, before flipping over, snapping Brown over. She rolls a little further, using the ropes to help her get to her feet, as Brown, breathing heavily, gets to his knees. Not wanting to let the advantage go, Foxx springs over, hooking Brown up and turning him into a pinning predicament, but Brown’s legs are too close to the ropes, sticking between first and second ropes, forcing the break. Rolling away again, Foxx looks at Brown for a second, then the opposite ropes – and, as the Englishman gets to his feet, she sprints over, building some momentum]

DT: UP NO!! Foxx lands on her feet! Brown turns around Pelé kick! Foxx with an overhead soccer-kick to the head!

DM: She might just be able to win this!

[Landing in a cat-like pose outside the ring, Foxx takes a few seconds to recompose herself as a few fans try to reach out and touch her shoulder. Meanwhile, Brown, whose neck had bounced off the top rope, struggles to get enough air into his lungs as he holds the back of his neck. With a plan in mind, his opponent slides back into the ring, and, rather than going for the cover, grabs Brown’s left leg – and wrenches away at his knee! Taken by surprise, Brown tries to use his right leg to fend her off, but she leaps up and over, stretching his hamstring out, and seemingly trying to bend his knee in the opposite direction to what nature intended. The audible scream of pain Brown gives out is quickly replaced by another, as Foxx starts to twist the knee inwards. The fans cheer her on, as Brown tries to fight his way out of the painful hold, twisting this way and that, trying to find a way to get a shot in with his right leg that will loosen her grip.

Several excruciating seconds pass, as Brown struggles against his friend. Then, as the referee comes in closer to check if he wants to call it quits, the Intercontinental Champion kicks out again – a push rather than a strike]

DT: Brown sent the referee into Foxx!!

MN: No way!

Crowd: BOO!!!!

DT: The fans letting the champ know how they feel about that one, and I agree with them!

MN: He didn’t mean it, I’m sure he didn’t!

DM: I’ve got to go with Mike here, much as it pains me – I don’t think he intended to push the ref into her.

DT: Are you two watching the same match I am? It looked to me like he deliberately pushed there.

DM: Who’s the ex-wrestler, and who’s the lowly play-by-play?

DT: Regardless, Brown’s caught a lucky break, I think the force of the referee going into her has winded Foxx. Who’d’ve thought these two friends would go at it like this?

DM: I’m guessing Foxx is one of the few people who knows exactly how badly you can hurt Brown’s knee if you twist it the wrong way, so she used it to try and win – you do what you have to if you want to win the title, I’m sure Lindsay’s going to do the same if she gets the chance against Melton.

DT: The referee’s admonishing Brown now he’s got his bearings back.

[Not that the champion is paying much attention, as he gingerly gets back to his feet, careful not to rest more weight than necessary on his left leg. He struggles over on one good leg to Foxx, kicking her in the leg, and catches her with a European uppercut, rocking her back. Instinctively, he reaches down to his knee, before grabbing her by the head, and executing a swift brainbuster – no stalling, just straight up, and down]

DT: ONE!!

TWO!!

TNO!! Foxx manages to kick out of that SICK looking brainbuster!!

DM: And Brown’s looking frustrated. I don’t think even he knew how much fight she had in her, he’s not been holding back since the first couple of minutes, but he still can’t put her away.

DT: Scooping her off the canvas – he’s signalling for the end!

MN: NO!! MY MONEY!!

DT: Has her in position… DRAGONS NO!! GERMAN SUPLEX!! GERMAN SUPLEX!!

DM: She’s rolling through!!

DT: Foxx picking Brown up in the waistlock… DRAGONSUPLEX!! DRAGONSUPLEX!! ONE MORE AND SHE’S FINISHED CERBERUS!!

MN: YES!! GOLD ON HOT CHICK!!

DT: Picking Brown up again… TIGER SUPLEX!! THAT’S IT! SHE’S HIT ALL THREE SUPLEXES!!

ONE!!

TWO!!!!

THREE!! THREE!!

DM: No it isn’t!!

DT&MN: SH

DM: FAMILY SHOW

DT&MN: IZZLE!!

[The crowd can’t believe it either, as the referee signals to Foxx that Brown just managed to get his right shoulder up half an inch from the canvas. Holding her head, she’s not sure what to do next, a thousand and one things rushing through her head – if she went for the Vixen’s Dive, would he counter it? Does she have the strength left to use the Vixen’s Tail? Is there anything else she can do? All these questions and more, as she kneels next to her friend, before deciding something, anything…

She leans down, intending to pick Brown to his feet, but Brown catches her in an inside cradle! But fortunately for her, she goes into the ropes, forcing Brown to break the hold before even a one count – but he keeps a light hold of her]

DT: Both combatants, trying to get to their feet…

DM: This has been an incredible match, it’s a good thing it’s no time limit.

DT: Brown with Foxx by the hair, forces her back into the corner – DRIVES the shoulder into the gut! Could we be seeing a superplex coming up?

DM: Something big.

DT: The Dragon with Foxx up on the top rope, moving up to join her… hurric

Crowd: *pop*

MN: CRAP!!

DT: Foxx just elevated Brown up and to the outside!! I can’t believe it!!

DM: And Brown’s hurt, he didn’t land well.

DT: Foxx is still on the top rope, but the referee’s not counting yet, I think he’s worried Karl might be really injured.

[That’s precisely what the ref is asking the champ – “Are you OK? Can you continue?” Brown’s still conscious, he can tell, as Foxx slides herself down off the ropes to the inside of the ring. Stepping back, the referee starts his count, as Brown rolls onto his back, holding his left knee. Foxx stares down at her friend, as the count reaches three, and Brown starts to try and get to his feet – rolling to the barricade, and pulling himself up with it. The crowd count along as the ref gets to five, fully expecting Foxx to add another high-profile scalp to her impressive resume]

DT: It looks like Mike’s going to win that bet.

MN: Finally!

Crowd: Six!

DM: Not if it’s a count-out.

MN: CRAP!!

Crowd: SEVEN!!

DT: Brown’s almost to his feet though, will he beat the count?

Crowd: EIGHT!!

*HUGE POP*

DT: OH MY GOD!! FOXX JUST HIT A PLANCHA FROM THE TOP!!

MN: CRAP!!

DM: That was smart and dumb! If the ref goes for a winner he won’t count now, or it could end up being a double count-out.

DT: Brown’s probably lucky Foxx is eighty pounds lighter than him, that would’ve been DEADLY from some guys.

DM: Only someone like Dalkichev, but yes, Foxx’s weight coming down wasn’t all it might have been.

DT: Foxx picking Brown up, leaning him back against the barrier – CHOP across the chest! CHOP FROM KARL!

Dm: Right hand by Foxx, Brown with a knee to the gut

DT: SMASHES her head off the barricade!!

[Some of the crowd boo, but the majority cheer as the two battle outside the ring. Brown twists the arm of his friend, before attempting a hook-kick to the face, but Foxx manages to bend back far enough that Brown narrowly misses – and also has nowhere to put his foot down without losing his grip on her arm! Quickly standing back up, she manages to trip Brown, who lets go of her arm and stumbles back. Using her agility, she darts past him, taking him down with a neckbreaker right in front of the announce table!]

DT: I think the referee’s letting them go at it, the challenger’s in control! All she’s got to do is roll him back into the ring and she could have it!

DM: Not quite.

DT: Huh?

[Dean’s right. As Foxx tries to lift Brown onto the apron, he catches her with a fireman’s lift, holding her across his shoulders for a few seconds, before dropping her down with a Death Valley Driver onto the concrete!! Foxx’s neck seems to take the brunt of the damage, but Brown doesn’t stop there. Picking her off the floor, he drives her back into the apron, spine first, before lifting her up again]

DT: NO!! NOT THE SHIPWRECK!! NOT OUT HERE!!

MN: CRAP!!

[Foxx, however, struggles, not wanting to be put in Cameron Cruise’s signature move. She manages to stop Brown from hooking it right, landing behind him. She’s breathing heavily, but, with no time to waste, spins round and catches a turning Dragon in the gut with an elbow. Doubled over, Brown is almost helpless as Foxx executes a somersault legdrop across the back of his neck. The crowd are loving the action, really giving it up for the feisty challenger, who soaks in the applause for a few seconds. She looks around, into the ring where the referee is trying to get them to take it back inside, and out at the crowd. She notices the announce table, out of the corner of her eye, and a plan formulates – the way to beat her friend, by doing something he was known for. She points at the table, as the crowd, sensing what’s coming, go wild]

DT: What’s she planning??

DM: Something that makes me think we should move.

MN: What?!

DT: Foxx rolling Brown onto our announce table… HEY!!

[The announce team ditch their headsets, as Foxx climbs up after The Dragon. Slowly, not wanting to move her neck too much, she picks him up by the head, and hooks him for a vertical suplex. The crowd are on their feet, the sound deafening, as Foxx steadies herself, bracing for the weight, and lifts…

But Brown slips out and behind!! Without thinking, seemingly without even knowing where he is, the Intercontinental Champion grabs both of Foxx’s arms, hooking a Full Nelson in place]

Referee: Don’t do it!!

[A loud cheer erupts, but very quickly dies down into a concerned silence, as what just happened sinks in, as Foxx slumps down, laying motionless on the concrete floor. The referee springs out of the ring, straight to the two combatants, as Dave Thomas gets his headset back on]

DT: Oh my God… we didn’t just see that did we? Can we get another look…

[We see Foxx attempt the suplex. Brown again ducks down behind, hooking her in position, and executes an almost-perfect Dragon Suplex…almost perfect, except Foxx misses the edge of the table, spilling over the edge, and landing squarely on the back of her head and neck on the concrete floor. The shot continues, as we see her legs snapping over, all her weight focused on a small portion of her neck. As we leave the replay, we can see some EMT’s sprinting down the rampway, as Brown, who’s weight had broken the announce table, lays on one side, a look of concern on his face]

DT: Ladies and gentleman… I don’t know how to describe this… Dean… what just happened?

DM: All I heard was a snap and a crack, I’m hoping I’m wrong.

DT: Can we cut to a video package already?

[CUTTO: a repeat of the earlier Beaslet spot – showing off the three t-shirts. Halfway through, the scene cuts out and goes backstage.

An ambulance is parked, it’s doors open, as security keeps a few curious onlookers back. The camera pans round to show the stretcher and medical personnel sprinting down the corridor, but the crowd around it means we can’t see Foxx too clearly. It’s all over in a matter of seconds, as a reporter just manages to break around security as Foxx is loaded into the ambulance, the doors slammed shut]

Reporter: Hey! What’s going on?

EMT: Out of the way!

[The ambulance starts to pull away, the general noise of the crowd splitting to both sides of the screen as the ambulance passes. It waits until it’s outside before turning on its siren, and we can hear it fade into the distance. The camera pans round again to show the reporter running after a figure in green and white tights]

Reporter: HEY! Karl! KARL!!

[“The Dragon”, eventually, stops, turning slowly back to the reporter]

Reporter: Any word on Foxx? What can you tell us?

Karl?

Any comment?

[Ignoring the questions, the look in Brown’s eyes is enough to scare almost anyone. This reporter is no exception, as his former cock-sure attitude is replaced with an almost kittenish exterior, shirking at the sight of the Intercontinental Champion. A few seconds pass in silence, before Brown turns, and walks back down the corridor to the dressing room]

 

[DBrunkGXW]

Christian Sands vs. Beast - Black Dawn 2004 - World Title Tournament Finals

[DAN RYAN, sitting in front of an EPW backdrop.]

RYAN: Obviously this match was a big one for the company. It was the finals of our World Title tournament and it was a very big deal for me personally overseeing the crowning of our first champion. I wanted everything to be just right and probably didn’t get very much sleep, if any the night before. Still, I knew both Christian and Marcus would be as great as they ended up being, and I had a blast playing the anti-Beast role just like I always do. Marcus is one of those guys who’s fun to mess with, and a lot of the goofiness I was getting into on these shows to quote… humiliate him… was also my attempt to try and get him to break character and bust out a smile. To his credit, it never worked. But I still had a lot of fun with my part in this and was very proud of both of them for putting such a big exclamation point on an early and important chapter in the history of EPW.

[CUTTO: A shot of the ring as the crowd roars in anticipation for the main event!]
DT: This is it, folks! It's time for the main event, where we will finally crown a World Heavyweight Champion!

MN: Yeah, but will it be Beast or Christian Sands who walks out with the title?

DT: We'll just have to - hey, who's coming through the crowd?

MN: ...It's Dan Ryan! And look at that GETUP!

[CUTTO: The aisle as Dan Ryan strolls leisurely through the crowd. He's wearing an oversized Beast T-shirt that reads "Feel The RAAAHRRR!!!" and a Beast ball cap with a goofy 3-D claw that juts out from the hat. Grinning, he plunks himself down in a steel chair in the front row and slips on an enormous Beast foam finger, then grabs a beer in his other hand.]

MN: RAAAAHRRR!

DT: Well, Dan Ryan said he was Beast's biggest fan - but really, that hat is ridiculous.

MN: Feel the RAAAAHRRR, Dave! That rocks!



--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

No Interference
World Heavyweight Championship
Beast vs. Christian Sands​

[The arena lights fade down to darkness, then slowly come back up in deep blue as the sound of chanting monks fill the arena, and the video screens light up with "BEAST" flashing in different styles and colors of text, mixed in with video clips of Beast executing various moves on his opponents. The chanting monks play for about 15 seconds, then fade into Nickelback's "Figure You Out", and as the opening guitar chords hit, a blast of red and white pyro go off around the stage area, then Beast walks through the smoke down the ramp and to the ring, followed closely by Lindsay Troy. Once in the ring, Beast salutes the fans by touching his fist to his chest over his heart a couple times before raising his hand in the air. He then notices Ryan and snorts, looking away. However, his gaze snaps immediately back to Ryan as a badly-dubbed, ridiculously cheesy "RAAAAAAHRRR!" plays at the end of his music. The expression on Beast's face clearly shows that he wants to slap the huge ****-eating grin off Ryan's face and rip him limb from limb. For his part, Ryan flashes a thumbs-up to go with the grin.]

MN: Raaaaaahr? Hah!

DT: This could very well be Beast's big night, Mike! Beast has fought valiantly through everything in his path, and now stands mere moments away from the chance to live his dream!

MN: Well, MY dream is to bone Lindsay. ROWR! Beast's one lucky foo.

DT: Erm. She is certainly attractive.

["Dark Machine" by Paul Oakenfold cues up, and the lights in the arena go out; the GlobalTron lights up with an image of Christian Sands gazing down from a distance, his face illuminated as if by car headlights through a window. After the first fourteen seconds of the song, a red strobelight kicks in. Smoke machines begin blowing a drifting mist horizontally across the ramp as Christian Sands emerges, striding down the ramp with the mist curling about his feet. He vaults into the ring over the top rope and stretches his arms briefly before walking to his corner and staring silently at Beast.]

DT: Beast's got a dream, but so does Christian Sands, as he's come a long way to make it to this point!

MN: But man, that ain't fair. Beast's got Lindsay as backup.

DT: That in itself shows you a key difference between these two men. Beast has said that he wears his heart on his sleeves, and indeed Lindsay and he are romantically close. Sands, meanwhile, walks alone. He's the kind of man who trusts only in himself.

[SFX: *DING* - Bell rings. Sands and Beast step into the center of the ring as the referee and Tony Fatora stand between them and Lindsay slides to the outside.]

TONY FATORA: Th' following contest is scheduled for one fall! It will determine the inaugural Empire Pro Wrestling Heavyweight Champion of the World!

[Big pop.]

TONY FATORA: Introducing first, from Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canada! He weighs in at two hundred and ninety pounds and is accompanied by "The Queen of the Ring" Lindsay Troy! THIS... ISSSSS... BEEEEEEEEEEEAST!!!

[Beast raises his arms to the roaring crowd. Dan Ryan comes to his feet and whistles loudly, clapping exaggeratedly. Troy sniffs in his direction, and Beast ignores him.]

TONY FATORA: And his opponent, from Barrie, Ontario, Canada! He weighs in at two hundred and seventy pounds! THIS... ISSSS... CHRRRRRRRRRRISTIAAAAAAAANNN... SAAAAAAANNNNNDS!!!

[Sands doesn't move, but rather stares a hole through Beast, oblivious to the deafening boos of the crowd.]

[As Fatora steps out of the ring, the official holds the title up to the crowd, then lectures the two men on the rules before sliding out of the ring. SFX: *DINGDINGDING* - Bell rings.]

DT: And we're under way here!

[Beast and Sands stare down for a long moment, going nose-to-nose in the center of the ring and talking trash. Beast is the first on the offensive, throwing a heavy punch, but Sands ducks it and grabs a waistlock, taking Beast to the mat with a Greco-Roman throw and boosting over to snap a side headlock on him. Beast tries to roll out, but Sands switches up and goes to another side headlock. Growling, Beast powers to his feet, but Sands takes him over and goes to a rear chin lock, applying a leg grapevine around Beast's waist.]

DT: Oh! Sands taking Beast to the mat from the get-go, working him over in his own element!

MN: Maybe Sands wasn't full of crap after all. He's looking a lot more focused than we've ever seen him.

[Grabbing Sands' leg, Beast tries to break the grapevine, but Sands releases it himself and drops the big man on the canvas. He drives a hard elbow into Beast's sternum, then picks him up and whips him into the ropes. Beast comes back and levels Sands with a huge shoulder block that evokes a big pop - especially from Ryan. Ignoring the Ego Buster, Beast runs the ropes, but Sands drop toe holds him and clubs at his neck with hard right hands before applying a camel clutch.]

DT: Beast with a hard shoulder - no, Sands back on him! There's a camel clutch!

MN: Heh heh. Camel.

[Sands works in the camel clutch, but Beast powers out, rising to his feet with Sands still on his back. However, Sands releases the hold and clips Beast's left leg. He tries to apply a Sharpshooter, but Beast kicks him off, at which point Sands backs into the ropes and drops a knee on the big man. With the aid of the ropes, Beast pulls himself quickly up. Sands Irish-whips him across the ring, but Beast ducks his clothesline, rebounding to turn him inside out with a huge boot!]

DT: What a boot from Beast!

MN: Sands did a 360 off that one!

[As Sands comes to his feet, Dan Ryan comes to his feet, waves his foam finger in the air, and starts yelling "BEAST! BEAST! BEAST! BEAST!" at the top of his lungs. Beast glances over and flips him the bird before picking up Sands, whipping him into the corner. Sands bounces off the turnbuckles hard, and Beast charges in to kill him with a massive clothesline.]

DT: Big lariat from Beast, and he's ALL fired up!

MN: Dan Ryan's pissing him off!

DT: He is something of a nuisance, isn't he?

[Shoving Sands roughly into the corner, Beast sizes him up and delivers a massive overhand chop that evokes a "Wooooo!" from the crowd... and from Ryan. However, Sands fights back with a stiff chop of his own, the sound echoing throughout the arena. Another "Woooooo!" ensues. Beast chops back, and Sands reciprocates, and the two chop at each other as the crowd woos - well except for Ryan, who is yelling "RAAAAAHRRR!" with every Beast chop. Lindsay can barely hold back a snicker. Finally, Beast hits a particularly stiff chop that knocks Sands to the mat.]

DT: Both men going to the chopping block there!

MN: It's a trip to the woodshed!

[Shooting Ryan a flat look, Beast pulls Sands to his feet and sets him up for a vertical suplex; however, Sands hooks his leg around Beast's, blocking the move. Beast tries again, but Sands drops to one knee and sweeps Beast's legs out from under him, shooting in to hammer at the big man's neck with right hands. Beast fights to his feet, but Sands takes a step back before darting in to take him down with a swinging neckbreaker.]

DT: Oh, Sands with the neckbreaker there, as it's clear which body part he's targeting here!

MN: Neckbusta! Hah!

[Wincing slightly, Beast pulls himself to a standing position - but not for long, as Sands grabs him from behind and hits a half-kneeling neckbreaker across his shoulder, then pulls Beast over his shoulder with a snapmare. He clubs at the big man's neck with harsh rights for a moment before running the ropes, baseball-sliding into Beast's chin with a dropkick that snaps Beast's head back painfully. Beast hits the mat hard, and Sands boosts into a cover.]

DT: There's the cover by Sands! Could be it - No, Beast kicked out!

MN: Kicked out? POWERED out! He flung Sands right off him!

[Beast stands quickly, but Sands is already on him, taking him down with a spear and trying for the Sharpshooter. However, Beast grabs his leg and drags him to the mat, then waistlocks him and launches him with a rough release German suplex! Sands lands in a heap near the corner, and Beast follows him, dropping him on his neck with a BRUTAL back suplex! Ryan waves his finger in the air again and begins chanting, "BEAST IS COOL! BEAST IS COOL! BEAST IS COOL!" This time, Beast doesn't even look at him, but his expression darkens.]

DT: I think Dan Ryan's antics are starting to get to Beast! Nevertheless, he's got Christian Sands reeling here!

MN: WITH HIS HOSS POWAH!

DT: ...Right.

[Intensity flickers in Beast's eyes as he stalks the rising Sands, scooping him up and launching him across the ring with a belly-to-belly suplex. Sands bounces off the canvas and comes to his feet unsteadily, and Beast dumps him over the ropes with a clothesline.]

DT: Oh, Beast sends Sands down to the floor!

MN: That's not fair! You KNOW Troy's gonna get involved, and it's no interference! DQ Beast!

[Troy doesn't get involved, honoring the stipulation. Beast grunts and climbs the turnbuckles, then comes off at Sands with an axehandle. However, Sands dodges out of the way, and Beast hits the barricade, his chin snapping off the steel guardrail! Beast slides to the floor, holding his head.]

DT: OUCH! Beast's head just hit that steel guardrail!

MN: STEEEEEEEEEEL!!!

DT: Oh, and look at Ryan!

[As Beast reels against the rail, Ryan reaches over and pats him on the shoulders before shouting, "GO BEAST GO! GO BEAST GO!" He then pats Beast on the head like a dog, evoking a giggle from Lindsay. Beast looks like he's inches from ripping Ryan's head off his shoulders, but Sands gets to him first, Irish-whipping him into the ring steps. Beast flips over the stairs and lands near the ramp, looking dazed.]

DT: Dan Ryan's making a nuisance of himself - but OH, was that ever a sickening trip into those stairs for Beast!

MN: Did you hear the thud?!

DT: I heard it!

[Beast holds his neck with one hand as Sands hauls him to his feet, then knocks him down with a stiff chop that draws woos from the crowd. Quickly, Sands rolls Beast into the ring just in time to break the ten count, then goes to the top rope and sails off with a moonsault that connects firmly!]

DT: WOW! Sands with a beautiful moonsault! The cover - One - TWO - NO, Beast kicked out!

MN: Damn! Sands rarely uses the top rope, but when he does it's COOL!

[Gruffly, Sands drags Beast to his feet and shoves him into the corner, chopping away at him a few times. From there, Sands waistlocks Beast and heaves him into the center of the ring with an impressive belly-to-belly suplex. Beast stumbles to his feet, and Sands swings in behind him, slapping on a double chickenwing and hitting a tiger suplex, then rolling through for a second and a third before releasing!]

DT: Rolling tiger suplexes from Sands there! He's taken control of the match!

MN: Has he ever! But you gotta think Dan Ryan's playing a factor in that.

DT: He's certainly not helping matters.

[Dazed from the impact, Beast sits up and shakes his head quickly, but stops and lets out a clipped breath as a jolt of pain runs through his neck. Sands takes advantage immediately, running the ropes and sailing over Beast to crack him with a rolling neck snap. Beast falls back, and Sands immediately locks him in a surfboard strait-jacket hold, stretching Beast's neck against the back of his knee.]

DT: There's the necktie surfboard by Sands! He's definitely wearing Beast down here!

MN: He's chokin' that big boy out!

DT: Beast trying to fight out, but Sands has got him locked up tight!

MN: Man, once he gets his hands on you, you're DONE.

DT: Sands is definitely a master of submissions, and he's proving it right now, as he's completely immobilized Beast!

[At ringside, Dan Ryan waves his foam finger in the air and starts screaming "LET'S GO BEAST" loudly. The crowd soon joins him in a thunderous "LET'S GO BEAST, LET'S GO BEAST" chant. Fueled by the crowd, Beast fights to his feet and elbows his way out of the hold. He goes to run the ropes, but Sands grabs him by the neck and takes him down roughly before locking on a grounded dragon sleeper, swinging over to add a side body scissors with his legs.]

DT: Beast fighting out - No, Sands shuts him down, and now to the inverted facelock sleeper!

MN: I guess Sands was telling the truth. He's really taking it to Beast. I don't think Beast expected this.

DT: This is a very devastating hold by Sands, as it immobilizes Beast's body and cuts off the flow of blood to his brain! It could be over here!

MN: Beast's fading fast!

DT: Senior referee Rudy Gossard checking on Beast! Raises his arm... it falls once!

MN: Beast's OUT! He looks completely unconscious!

DT: The official raising Beast's arm again... falls twice!

MN: One more and Sands wins the title!

DT: Raising it again - NO!!! BEAST KEEPS IT UP!!!

MN: HE'S ALIIIIIIIIVE!!!

[Surging to his feet as he gets his second win, Sands powers out of the hold and shakes Sands loose with elbows, then flattens him with a clothesline. He whips Sands hard into the ropes and boots him in the face to a big pop, then scoops him up and body-slams him to the canvas with authority! The crowd roars, and Dan Ryan offers a war-whoop.]

DT: Beast's a house afire! Clothesline! BOOT! Body slam! Sands is REELING!

MN: He tastes that title!

[Drawing in heavy breaths, Sands fights to his feet. Beast kicks him in the gut and hooks him up for the Absolution to a huge crowd pop, but Sands pulls out Beast's legs and catapults him into the corner. Beast catches the ropes, however, and blocks the impact. Sands turns, and Beast kicks him in the gut and KILLS him with the Absolution to a HUGE pop!]

DT: ABSOLUTION!!! ABSOLUTION!!! IT'S OVER!!! BEAST COVERS!!!

ONE!!!


TWO!!!



THREEEEEEE!!!
DT: ...NOOOOOOOOOO, IT'S NOT!!! SANDS KICKED OUT!!! I THOUGHT WE HAD A NEW CHAMPION!!!
MN: SO CLOSE!!! TWO POINT NINE!!!

[With a huff, Beast signals to the roaring crowd again, then hooks Sands up for a second Absolution; however, Sands recovers and rises to his feet, back body dropping Beast with authority. He grabs the big man by the hair and pulls him to his feet, punching him in the small of the back twice before hitting an inverted DDT across his knee!]

DT: Oh, big reverse DDT by Sands, dropping Beast's neck and upper back across his knee!

MN: Nice shot, man!

[Sands doesn't waste any time in dragging Beast to his feet, clubbing at his neck a few more times before drilling him with a DDT. The impact causes Beast to stand on his head, his legs twitching in the air before he finally flops onto his face. Snorting once, Sands pulls Beast up onto his shoulders and boosts him up, dropping the big man's neck across his knee in a neckbreaker maneuver!]

DT: And there's that brutal knee neckbreaker Sands is known to use!

MN: I can't believe that thing didn't take Beast's head off. It just looks so stiff and unforgiving.

[Shaking the cobwebs out of his head, Beast staggers to his feet. Sands meets him with a kick to the gut, then looks out into the crowd, noticing Dan Ryan. He smirks, then stuffs Beast into a standing headscissors, pulling him up to deliver a Humility Bomb!]

DT: HUMILITY BOMB!!! SANDS JUST HIT BEAST WITH DAN RYAN'S HUMILITY BOMB!!!

MN: HE'S GONNA EMBARRASS HIM IN FRONT OF THE OWNER!!!

DT: SANDS COVERS!!!

ONE!!!


TWO!!!



THREENNNNOOOOOOOO!!! BEAST GOT THE SHOULDER UP IN THE NICK OF TIME!!!

MN: NO WAY! I thought it was over!

DT: To be fair, the real Humility Bomb has a lot more brute strength behind it - but Sands' was certainly nothing to scoff at, either.

[A look of annoyance crosses Sands' face. He places a knee on Beast's chest and punches him in the face repeatedly, opening up a cut above the big man's left eyebrow. Roughly, Sands pulls Beast up and tries for a suplex, but Beast floats over and lands with Sands in an inverted facelock. Sands fights, but Beast slugs him in the ribs and kills him with an inverted swinging neckbreaker to a HUGE crowd pop!]

DT: Suplex - NO, WAIT - TEST OF FAITH!!! BEAST HITS THE TEST OF FAITH FROM OUT OF NOWHERE!!!

MN: AAAAAH!!! IT'S DONE!!!

DT: HE'S GOTTA COVER!!! HE'S GOTTA CAPITALIZE!!! BEAST COULD BE THE WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION IF HE CAN MAKE THIS COVER!!!

MN: HE'S TRYING!!!

DT: BEAST WITH THE ARM ACROSS SANDS!!!

ONE!!!


TWO!!!



...NO!!! SANDS KICKED OUT!!!

MN: Beast ALMOST HAD IT!!!

[Beast's expression betrays his disbelief. He covers Sands again, but the other man kicks out. Furiously, Beast picks Sands up and ploughs him into the corner with a shoulder charge, then boosts him up to the top turnbuckle, following him up. Sands tries to fight, but Beast slugs him and takes him down to earth with a top-rope suplex!]

DT: Oh, SUPERPLEX by Beast! Cover!

One!

TWO!

-NO, Sands kicked out!

MN: He's resilient, I'll give him that!

[Gritting his teeth, Beast waits for Sands to rise, then picks him up and goes for a suplex, but snaps him down into a brutal spinebuster that pops the crowd! From there, Beast stands over his opponent and waits for him to rise, holding up a hand to the roaring fans... and ignoring Dan Ryan's "BEASTIE! BEASTIE!" chant at ringside.]

DT: These fans smell it! These fans know what's coming! These fans see Beast set and ready to deliver the Absolution and put Christian Sands away!

MN: Man, he's gonna do it!

[Suddenly, Sands recovers and darts behind Beast in the blink of an eye, snaring him in a cobra clutch and slamming him to the canvas powerfully! He immediately bridges over Beast for a pin!]

DT: Wha - SAND BLASTER!!! OUT OF NOWHERE!!! COVER!!!

ONE!!!


TWO!!!



THREEEEEE!


- NO!!! BEAST KICKED OUT!!!

MN: AAAAH!!! NO WAY!!!

DT: I THOUGHT IT WAS OVER THERE, BUT BEAST SAYS NO!!!

[With a huff, Sands pulls Beast to his feet and chops his chest twice, whipping him into a corner and scoring with a running clothesline. He then goes behind again for another Sand Blaster, but Beast elbows him loose and hooks him up. He tries for an Absolution, but Sands bridges out and reverses into a Sand Blaster attempt, which Beast blocks by hooking his leg around the middle rope!]

DT: The reversals - No, Beast's blocking the Sand Blaster!

MN: Smart move!

[Sands tries to shake Beast loose; however, Beast snaps an elbow back to stun his adversary. From there, Beast shoves him down into a standing headscissors and begins to underhook the arms, but looks up and locks eyes with Dan Ryan. He drops the underhook and pulls Sands up for a Humility Bomb as Ryan glares daggers at him!]

DT: BEAST'S GOING FOR A HUMILITY BOMB!!!

[However, Beast can't complete the move; Sands tightens his legs around Beast's head in a triangle choke. Beast tries to shove Sands off, but the smaller man drops off himself... right down into the Sandman's Clutch!]

DT: SANDMAN'S CLUTCH!!! SANDMAN'S CLUTCH!!! SANDS REVERSED THE HUMILITY BOMB!!!

MN: WOW!!! HE CAME OUT OF NOWHERE WITH THAT!!!

DT: BEAST'S IN DIRE STRAITS!!! HE'S GOT TO MAKE IT TO THE ROPES!!!

MN: He's crawling!

DT: Beast sidling towards the bottom rope!

MN: Listen to Ryan and Lindsay cheering him on!

DT: He's almost there! Reaching out!

MN: He's so close!

DT: Beast's fingers are millimeters away from the bottom rope!

MN: He just has to scootch closer...

DT: NO!!! SANDS ROLLS OVER AND BACK INTO THE CENTER OF THE RING WITH THE CLUTCH STILL APPLIED!!! BEAST IS IN NO-MAN'S-LAND!!!

MN: He's gotta tap!

DT: Beast raising his hand - NO, HE DOESN'T TAP!!! HE'S HOLDING HIMSELF BACK!!!

MN: No, he's gonna tap!

DT: NO, HE DOESN'T!!! Beast is biting his own hand between his teeth to keep himself from tapping out!

MN: What a MANEUVER!!!

DT: But Sands is RELENTLESS! He will NOT LET GO!!!

[Every single man, woman, and child in Madison Square Garden is on their feet, roaring "BEAST! BEAST! BEAST!" at the top of their lungs, clapping in time with the chant. Beast's eyes flare, and he tries to fight, but Sands tightens his grip even more. Slowly, Beast begins to fade, his eyes glazing over.]

DT: Beast's fading! He's almost out!

MN: There's the ref!

DT: Raising Beast's arm... drops once!

MN: Oh no...

DT: Again... DROPS TWICE!!! Once more and Sands is the champion!

MN: Come on...

DT: Again... DROPS NOOOOO!!! THE ARM STAYS UP!!!

MN: But Sands won't let go!

DT: The arm is down again, and I think Beast is totally out!

MN: It's gotta be over...

DT: The official's again raising the arm... Drops once!

MN: Come on, Beast!

DT: Again raising it... Drops twice!

MN: FIGHT OUT!!!

DT: Raising again - NO, BEAST KEEPS IT UP!!!

MN: HE'S STILL IN THE FIGHT!!!

DT: But there goes the arm again!

MN: Beast's eyes are just GLAZED OVER!!!

DT: Sands is like a rabid dog! He's not relenting at all!

MN: The ref's going to the arm again!

DT: Raising Beast's arm... Falls once!

MN: He's gonna fight out.

DT: Raising again... Falls twice!

MN: He's gonna get out.

DT: Raising the arm again... FALLS THREE TIMES!!! IT'S OVER!!! IT'S OVER!!! BEAST IS OUT, AND CHRISTIAN SANDS IS THE CHAMPION!!!

MN: I CAN'T BELIEVE IT!!!

[SFX: *DINGDINGDING* - Bell rings as the arena rises as one and boos. Sands slowly releases Beast from the hold and rolls over onto his back, staring up at the lights with tears in his eyes as the referee places the World Title in his hands.]

TONY FATORA: Here is your winner, and the NEEEEEEEEEEEW Heavyweight Champion of the World... CHRRRRRRRRRRISTIAAAAAAAAAANNN... SAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNDSSSSS!!!



--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

DT: WHAT A HELLACIOUS BATTLE!!! Both of these men gave everything they had, but it's Christian Sands who walks out with the title!

MN: Don't take anything away from Beast, though, because he could have won this just as easily! It could've gone either way as far as I'm concerned!

DT: It certainly was one hell of a contest! I wouldn't mind seeing it again!

[Concern on her face, Lindsay Troy rolls Beast out of the ring and helps him to the back. Smirking faintly, Dan Ryan stands and wades back into the crowd. Back in the ring, Sands regains his footing and stands in the center of the canvas, holding the title high as the crowd pelts him with garbage. However, a lean form suddenly rushes the ring.]

DT: WAIT A MINUTE!!! IT'S NATE LOGAN!!! NATE LOGAN IS HERE!!!

MN: NO!!! GET HIM OUT!!!

[Hearing the sudden cheers of the crowd, Sands turns, and Zero punches him in the face and knees him in the gut, causing him to drop the title! Zero chops him again, then hits a double knee lift, flowing into a DDT that spikes Sands' skull off the title! Sands goes limp, bleeding from a cut on his forehead!]

DT: MY GOD!!! ZERO HOUR!!! ZERO HOUR ON THE TITLE!!! NATE LOGAN HAS JUST LAID OUT THE WORLD'S CHAMPION HERE AT BLACK DAWN!!!

MN: I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS!!!

DT: Dammit, we're out of time! For Mike Neely, I'm Dave Thomas! This has been Black Dawn! GOODNIGHT, everyone!

[Fade to credits, then to black, leaving us with a fading shot of Zero standing tall over the fallen Christian Sands...]

 

[DBrunkGXW]

Cameron Cruise Project [c] vs. Christian Sands and Lindsay Troy - Wrestleverse 1

[CUT TO: Frank Pierce, one third of The Heirs of Wrestling, in front of an EPW backdrop.]

FRANK PIERCE: What’s up, kids? You’re listening to Frank Pierce, one third of the Heirs of Wrestling. And one match that I absolutely loved in EPW history had a lot to do with two tag teams that I basically had to… for lack of a better term… “****” on… The Cameron Cruise Project against the team of Christian Sands and Lindsay Troy. This was a great bout that had lots of action, some great near-falls and all-round good entertainment value. It had a hot crowd, lots of good storytelling and it’s a general standout for me. What really makes it interesting is the relationship between Troy and Melton. That, and this was the first Aggression ever. Can they put their feelings aside and work for the other’s team? Or would we see it all boil over and have all hell break loose? Well... THIS IS PROFESSIONAL WRESTLING, WHAT DO YOU THINK?!

...So… uh… yeah, let’s roll on with the fight!

DT: Mike, two hours in, you have to say Wrestleverse I has been an amazing success.
MN: In comparison to what? A train wreck? An old man [censor] himself at a bus stop?

DT: That’s nice.

MN: It’s PPV Thomas. You should be thankful your career even reached the apex of people ‘paying’ to hear you perform.

DT: You really think there’s someone out there who’s sole consideration in charging Wrestleverse to their bill was my commentary?

DM: More like mine.

MN: Hell no. But then I never thought a man would lock himself in a 6x6 cell sixty-feet in the air over a side-walk in London, with no food or drink, either. It’s all relative Thomas.

DT: Of course it is. You about done, or can we go on to the next match?

MN: Move when you’re ready, but understand one thing...I’m trying to help here. Cameron Cruise is up next. I’m just trying to buy us some leeway. Good material can go a long way Dave trust me.

DT: Right, what you’re doing here rivals Leno pre-Tonight show days. And those people behind us aren’t sitting impatiently they’re bowing in the face of your excellence.

MN: Really? [Mike quickly turns around.]

DM: *snort* Please let me hit him.

[The lights in the arena go out as the haunting strains of "Dark Machine" by Paul Oakenfold cue up. Smoke billows up on the stage and ramp as Christian Sands slowly strides out from the back. He stops center stage, the red strobelight pulsating in the background, and casts a sideways glance toward the curtain.]

MN: Killjoy.

["Dark Machine" cuts off to make way for the opening guitar riff of "Heartbreaker" by Led Zeppelin. White-hot spotlights swirl around the arena before blazing down upon the curtain. Pyro goes off on either side of the stage as Lindsay Troy, the reigning Queen of the Ring, saunters onto the stage. She gives Christian a smirk and a wink before continuing to walk down the ramp. Sands swaggers after her, ignoring the jeers and trash-talk from the fans lucky enough to get seats next to the ramp barricade.]

[The two vault themselves over the top rope and Sands stretches out in a corner. Troy just stands with her hands on her hips facing the stage, her mouth curled slightly upward in a sneer.]

DT: The Pepsi Center abuzz in anticipation of this World Tag Team Title match-up!

MN: It’s non-title Dave pay attention.

DT: Mike... Lindsa---

MN: Don’t Mike me! Look at your papers, idiot.

[pause]

DT: Well...

MN: Ha! Now we’re even. Fans are abuzz over this, but you tend to draw that reaction when Amazon women have crammed themselves into baby doll t-shirts. That’s right folks we’re not performing Shakespeare here. It’s Tits and Ass meets the Junior Sears Clothing Department. Speaking of which, there’s now great sales on silicon breasts...

DT: This may be PPV but show some constraint!

MN: That’s enough Dave; we’ll have no more of this Obi-Wan Kenobi Gibberish.

DM: ...I think I'm just going to be quiet. You two are having SO much fun that I dare not interrupt.

DT: [Sigh]

[The house lights furiously dim, blanketing the Pepsi Center in darkness: the cold black emptiness their lives regrettably knew before Joey Melton rode into EPW territory on a white horse and promise to clean up the town. Work the rooms, flexing his mental muscle, and drive the dead weight clinging to the company’s heels to a lesser promotion. Someplace where you don’t have to be able to walk and chew gum at the same time to be considered high-end talent.]

[There’s a void of light and silence for two seconds, only the anticipation and hope of someone greater brightening the atmosphere sounding in the air.]

[Loud red sirens burst into action atop of the stage set, sounding the alarm on Wrestleverse. The sheriff and his deputy were back with orders to round up the usual suspects. The talentless hacks who dared to question Melton and Cruise’s place in the business, the validity of their title reign.]

“Where have all the good men gone
And where are all the gods?”

[As Bonnie Tyler sang, accompanied by the genius of studio musicians, spotlights--seconds removed from being held captive by a couple of bores, return their full attention home. To Joey Melton and Cameron Cruise.]

“Where’s the street-wise Hercules
To fight the rising odds?”

[Melton and Cruise sporting matching black diamond studded sequin robes slip three steps down the rampway as if carried by their arrogance or the hand of God, and fan the remnants of smoke left by their opponent’s entrance. Wiping as if the scene taken by their eyes was a dry-erase board, and the mark made by those far below “The Cameron Cruise Project” could be snuffed from existence. Circled and called a mistake, one Melton and Cruise were put together to correct. And correct it they have.[

“Isn’t there a white knight upon a fiery steed?
Late at night I toss and turn and dream of what I need”

Flanked by Cruise’s wife, and Melton’s playdate Mercedes, the World Tag Team Champions gracefully make their way down the ramp. The piercing glare of 20,000 strong probing for a weakness, but this team has none.

“I need a hero
I’m holding out for a hero ‘til the end of the night
He’s gotta be strong
And he’s gotta be fast
And he’s gotta be fresh from the fight
I need a hero
I’m holding out for a hero ‘til the morning light
He’s gotta be sure
And it’s gotta be soon
And he’s gotta be larger than life”

[If there’s a crack in the wall, it’s Lindsay Troy, Joey’s host and fantasy lover. As Melton moves an inch from the outstretched hands of ringside fans helplessly groping for a piece of the All-American [a story they could leave behind for future generations. I touched greatness, if only ever so briefly], he pats Cruise on the back: A sign of assurance that Troy’s not an issue tonight. Melton’s professional hat is on, and his partner can count on him thinking with the right head.]

DT: Melton and Cruise simultaneously leap onto the ring apron---

MN: They’re a well-oiled machine Dave. We’re about to see the sort of teamwork that’ll inspire an entire section of women to coordinate their periods in accordance with one another.

DT: Oh man...

DM: ...Mike Neely describing Cameron Cruise as well-oiled disturbs me.

[As Melton and Cruise step through the ropes Troy and Sands rush over, quickly moving on the offensive with hard right hands.]

DT: The Challengers not wasting any time in this title bout getting started! Pounding the Cameron Cruise Project with a furry of closed-fists!

MN: Everytime a bell rings an angel gets it’s wings, and everytime you say “The Cameron Cruise Project” a virgin is soiled in some part of the world...it’s true.

DT: Sands rocks Cruise with a left hook and Cameron goes up and over the top rope!!! Troy caves Melton’s gut in with her left boot!

MN: I think it was more the foot in the boot that did the damage Thomas...but yes.

DT: She and Sands whip Melton across the ring, off the ropes, double dropkick and Joey goes down hard!!

MN: Let the man get his diamond sequin robe off first! That thing’s worth more than your life! And mine too!

DT: Troy rips the tag belt off Melton’s waist and hoists it over her head! A precursor of what’s to come, and if so the fans are lovin’ it!

[Sands bounces off the ropes and drives a knee into Melton’s forehead.]

DM: Nice knee lift there. Melton might need a new nose job, and these fans really DO love it.

MN: Keep in mind the majority of these idiots also love the Friends spin-off “Joey”.

DT: Sands and Troy have Melton back to his feet, and again he’s shot off the ropes---but is pulled outside by Cruise! Cameron reached under the bottom rope and yanked Melton outside the ring in the knick of time!

[Joey finally works off the robe and angrily tosses it at a stagehand.]

DT: The Cameron Cruise Project---

MN: [singing] Proud young virgin...

DT: Enough! The Cameron Cruise Project regrouping as the ref works the count to five.

[Lindsay and Christian sit on the middle rope and create a more comfortable opening by lifting the top rope above their heads. It’s shake’n’bake and they helped.]

MN: Good you got the memo about keeping the officials nameless. That’ll teach’em to form a union. Nameless Ref #1138!

DM: Thank you, George Lucas.

DT: Melton and Cruise seem a slight unhinged by the sell-out crowd in the early getting. Joey motioning for Troy and Sands to back up...but they’re not budging!

MN: Great sportsmanship from Troy and Sands. One of the all-time greats asks a favor, and you blow him off. Show the man some respect and scoot back ten feet, and remember he’s your social better. Zero eye contact as well.

DT: Joey huddling with his partner again---no! Melton just slid Cruise under the bottom rope against his will and Sands and Troy are going to town! Stomping over every inch of Cameron’s body! Melton, throwing his co-champion to the wolves!

MN: It’s called tough love.

DT: Yeah, Melton’s a real father figure Neely...

[Lindsay and Christian whip Cruise across the ring, off the ropes...]

MN: He is to Lindsay!

DT: Cameron leapfrogs over Sands, but is caught mid-air with a SUPERKICK from Lindsay Troy. No question that one found it’s mark, nameless ref—NEELY! The ref makes the cover...2 and nothing more!

MN: Nameless ref. Good one Thomas. The man has a family watching. Ass.

[Joey finally gets to his corner, turning briefly to make a sarcastic comment to a fan in the front row.]

DT: Side headlock from Troy, as this battle for the EPW World Tag Team Titles showing some structure at last. Lindsay digging in with her forearms, you can hear Cruise’s screams from where we are.

MN: Sounds kinda like a baby Raptor from Jurassic Park, no?

DT: Cruise at the command of his wife and manager Mercedes powers to his feet...

MN: That’s right. Cammy’s ass belongs to her, not some under-dressed Amazon.

DT: Cruise buries an elbow in Lindsay’s belly, but goes down in a flash!

[SPLIT SCREEN REPLY: Troy pulling Cammy down with a handful of hair.]

[Crowd pops.]

DT: The Queen Of The Ring going outside the rulebook for that takedown, but the official never saw it.

[Cruise back up to his feet.]

MN: Then it didn’t happen. What’s the ol’ saying? If a woman screams in Melton’s garage bunker and nobody hears, is he breaking the law?

DT: Classy. Cameron scoops Troy’s legs, BACKDROP! BUT TROY HOLDS ON! Unwilling to break the headlock! Cruise’s is getting lightheaded Mike. It’s been thirty years, but I’ve seen matches won with this!

DM: So have I, but I had to pay $20 to watch in an old friend’s living room and I wasn’t allowed to touch.

DT: Troy bullies Cruise to her corner and Sands tags himself in. Christian perched on the middle-rope, FLYING KNEE INTO CAMERON’S exposed ribs! Half of the tag team champions shot to the mat in a heartbeat after that crushing blow from Sands!

[Sands wraps Cammy’s arm over the top rope, exposing his ribs to a series of hard uppercuts.]

MN: I think Cruise is role-playing again. He’s the rack of lamb in Paulie’s freezer. [yells to ring] You’re not fighting Creed, Cruise...enough with the dramatics.

DT: Quick tag to Troy, short rest her the Queen, but I’m sure she prefers doing the majority of the legwork. [Sands holds Cruise’s left arm up, exposing his ribs again.] Lindsay off the middle-ropes with a double axe handle!

DM: If he dies...he dies.

[Troy applies an arm bar, twisting Cameron’s arm devilishly.]

DT: Mercedes barking orders to her man as she eyes Troy’s every move three feet away...Cruise to his feet...hurting but driven...

[Cruise flips forward, bounces off the mat and drop kicks Sands off the apron.]

DT: Cameron on his feet...ARM DRAG! Cruise airborne, LEG SCISSORS TAKEDOWN! [crowd pop]

MN: Now come on Cruise, make the tag to your social better.

DT: Cameron shoots Troy off the ropes, leap frog! Troy off the ropes, FRANK’N’CRUISE! Troy gets her feet under Cameron’s shoulders, reverse into a pin...ONE, TWO...MELTON jumps in and breaks the pin with a hard kick to Troy’s back! So close to having new EPW World Tag Team Champions!

MN: How close? A section of balloons imprisoned in the rafters were let free. Releasing victory balloons...how easy is it? And why must the Democrats make fools of themselves every four years?

DT: The official backs Melton into his corner...and as he does Cruise choking Troy over the top rope! Come on ref!!

MN: It’s Jimmy I believe.

[As the ref turns, Cruise slingshots Troy’s head off the ropes, sending her to the mat in a heap.]

DT: Whatever! Cameron tags in Melton [crowd pop]! Joey pushing Lindsay, his manager! Into the corner...KNIFE EDGE CHOPS!

[Melton smirks as he chops Troy again]

DM: Careful Joey, I’ve seen those things pop before in a match. Ironically to your sister, Teri!

DT: Melton again with a calculated chop across Troy’s chest!

MN: Whipping her breasts...you can count the number of men in the Pepsi Center without erections on one hand...

[SPLIT SCREEN REPLAY: Neely pointing to Thomas.]

[Melton sets Troy’s legs outside the ropes and sits her on the middle turnbuckle.]

DT: Joey backing up....he wouldn’t....he couldn’t....

MN: He really shouldn’t, but...

[crowd pop as Joey kicks the middle turnbuckle]

MN: That had to be therapeutic Dave.

DT: I’m not touching that one...

MN: [laughs] You just did unwittingly. Geez you’re easy.

DT: Tag to Cruise. The World champs slow to begin but they’ve got the match under their control now. No disputing that. Joey SLINGSHOT SUPLEX....Cruise under Troy’s legs as she falls....HOT SHOT ACROSS THE TOP ROPE! That looked vicious.

[Pin attempt: 2]

MN: I’ve seen worse.

DT: Cruise with a side-headlock, returning the favor from minutes ago. Cameron leans back, quick pin...1....2....NO! Lindsay almost got napping!

DM: Troy double-teamed by The Project...this is like something out of Troy’s dreams.

DT: Lindsay gamely to her feet...she needs to make a tag, elbow to Cameron’s gut! Troy hits the mat in a hurry!

[SPLIT SCREEN REPLAY: Cruise taking Lindsay down with a handful of hair.]

[Crowd boos.]

DT: Tag to Melton, the champs are insync now!

MN: It’s beautiful to watch, is it not?

DT: Cruise pinning Troy’s arms back, holding her up for Joey...KNIFE EDGE CHOP!! [Melton turns and struts away.] MULE KICK FROM TROY!!

[Troy tosses Cameron through the ropes.]

MN: Ewww. Cruise we’ll be picking nuts out of his teeth for weeks after that one.

DT: TROY OFF THE ROPES, SAVAT KICK AS MELTON TURNS! [crowd pop] She’s not wasting any time! Lindsay backs Joey in a corner, CHOPS OF HER OWN! [Crowd stands.] ANOTHER! A martial art’s kick, and THRUST TO JOEY’S THROAT! She’s got him reeling!

[Troy sends Melton across the ring and over the opposite turn buckle. Flair flip.]

DT: Melton runs into Cruise who was recovering on the apron! Joey barely hanging on, fingertips over the top rope saving him from a hard fall...TROY FLYING CLOTHESLINE! The Tag Champs are down!

[Sands rushes over.]

MN: I think even Dave has an erection at this point.

DT: Sands clotheslines Melton! Clotheslines Cruise! He’s bided his time and can’t wait no more. Christian drops Joey throat first over the security railing!

MN: Melton’s senses are out of whack. The man doesn’t know where he is...he’s getting hammered by Sands, and on the other hand...he’s involved with some heavy foreplay with Troy! Ups down in Melton’s world right now...dogs and cats getting along.

[Sands lays Melton’s chest over the railing and lifts his legs off the ground, exposing his back to Troy who flies over the top rope...]

DT: DROPICK BY CRUISE! [Troy rams headfirst into Sands.]

[Crowd ‘ooohs’]

DT: Cameron saved the tag belts there!

MN: They can’t exchange hands outside the ring, but he saved Melton from being bed ridden for two weeks....and Joey’s hating him for it as we speak.

DT: Cruise fires Sands head first into the ring steps!

[Troy’s crumpled by the feet of the railing. Cruise rolls Sands into the ring and winks at Mercedes.]

DT: Melton hurriedly kneels at Troy’s side. I think he’s generally concerned for her well-being Mike!

[CLOSE-UP: Troy’s face is busted open. Melton has Lindsay’s hair pulled back with his left hand and is calmly rubbing the small of her back with the other.]

MN: Cats and dogs, Thomas.

DM: Joey’s helping Troy to her feet. She may not be able to continue... [Lindsay wraps an arm around Melton’s neck] WAIT—SIDE RUSSIAN LEG SWEEP BY TROY!

[Crowd pop.]

DT: She shrugged Melton off and dropped him on the cement floor!

DM: The women’s movement’s ruined everything. I’d hate to see how the [censor] reacts to having a car door held open for her.

DT: Melton’s reveling in pain as the fans here in Denver mercilessly taunt him.

[Cruise side-slams Sands in the ring.]

DT: Troy rolls back in the squared circle...

[Troy jumps over a sitting Cruise, grabbing his head and snapping it forward as she zooms by.]

DT: Sands with a quick pin...1....2..NO!

[Stereo elbow drop from Troy and Sands.]

DT: It’s two against one...not very good odds if you’re Cameron Cruise!

MN: It may stay that way too Dave. Melton’s finished.

[CLOSE-UP: Joey disgustedly waves off Troy and heads back up the rampway.]

DT: What? Joey Melton leaving in the middle of this match! What’s he thinking?

MN: If I knew the answer to that I’d never have to work another day in my life. If he doesn’t come back the end is near for Cruise. The man has trouble winning matches one-on-one. Unless he’s just largely been unmotivated...I don’t see us discovering his secret talent is winning handicap matches.

[Sands has Cruise in an Ad. Stretch.]

DT: Sands reaching back for extra leverage, adding an extra inch to Cameron’s body!

MN: Oh, you’d love that.

DM: ZING!

[Lindsay hops off the apron and runs after Melton. The crowd stands and watches in disbelief as Lindsay disappears backstage.]

DT: Christian can’t believe it either...HIP TOSS BY CRUISE! [Sands pops up and throws his hands up in the air as the last of Troy’s body leaves the rampway] Cruise clips the back of Sands’ left knee!

MN: Sands knows better than to turn his back on an opponent. Especially one who’s likely to trip and fall into the back of his knees...

DT: Cameron extending Sands left leg, and dropping his full weight over the knee! He can tear Christian’s ACL if he’s not careful!

MN: Um...

[Cruise scoots outside, reaching back in to drag Sands to the iron post. He measures the distance then whips Sands’ left leg over the iron post.]

DT: That could be Christian’s career! Cruise again ramming that leg across the post! Come on ref!

MN: Will you leave that poor man alone!

DT: Cruise taking his time getting back in the ring. The damage is done. Cameron pins the left leg back under, KNEE DROP! Sands’ noticeably hobbling....

[Cruise off the ropes...]

DT: Kicking at that leg! Cameron doing what he can to retain the tag belts right here...Sands has to start thinking about the future.

MN: Why start now?

DT: Cruise...figure four!!

MN: Brilliant! Melton’s taught him well! If Joey’s not here...play the role yourself.

DT: Sands rocks over, REVERSAL! Cruise screaming out in pain! Ref asking him if he wants to give...the tag titles could change hands on Cruise’s submission.....

[Cameron crawls...inches his way to the ropes.]

DT: Cruise reaching...he’s got the ropes!!

[ref calls for the break.]

MN: He may be nameless, but he works well! I say keep him!

DT: Cameron struggles to his feet and he’s met there by hard right hands from Christian Sands! Rocking one half of the tag team champions back into the ropes...JAWBREAKER!! Cruise up, but not over!!

MN: If he was happily married Mercedes would be in there giving her body for the common good.

DT: Cruise shot off the ropes, BACKDROP! Cameron’s close to the edge! Sands again whips him off the ropes, Backdrop—no Cruise sees it...

[Cameron kicks at Sands, but Sands pulls him, as Cruise flies off his feet..]

DT: What a set-up from Sands...he catches Cruise’s legs in mid-air, turns...BOSTON CRAB! Submission move!!

MN: Mercedes must really hate that man..

DT: What about Melton? Both partners missing... Sands sitting in nicely...Cruise is finished...

MN: Amazingly not yet!

[Mercedes jumps in. Sands coolly knocks her out of the ring.]

DT: Sands back to work...

DM: It took a lot...but she finally answered the call. Good girl.

DT: German suplex! Another! Rolling German suplexes!

[The crowd stirs as Little Voltron jogs down the rampaway, cardboard cut-out of Joey Melton in his arms.]

[Crowd cheers.]

DT: Sands...powerslam! Cover...ONE......TWO......TH-NO! What the hell is this?

MN: It’s a midget Dave. Relax. He’s not demon spawn.

DT: I didn’t mean Little Voltron...I meant...THIS. The situation...

[Little Volton hops up in Cruise’s corner...and props the cut-out of Melton up next to him.]

DT: Sands suplex attempt, but Cruise blocks it! Snap suplex from Cameron Cruise!! He’s not going quietly!

MM: The man’s a champion.

DT: Say that ten times fast.

MN: Heh.

DT: And like the champion he is...he’s trying to make the tag...to...a paper Melton! This is nuts...

[Little Volton extends the cut-out through the ropes, reaching for Cruise’s hand.]

DT: Cameron staggering on his feet...dives for Paper Melton’s hand... [Little Voltron pulls the cut-out away; Cruise comes up empty.] No!! [Crowd cheers]

MN: Trouble in paradise! Melton won’t tag!

DT: That’s not Melton!

MN: Sure looks like him to me!

DT: Cruise is standing in the corner in disbelief! Sands with a clothesline over the back of his neck! Sands nails Paper Melton and the cut-out goes flying! Climbing the ropes!! Perched on the middle ropes...Sands pounds a series of jabs in Cruise’s forehead!

[Crowd counts them off. 1,2,3,4,5...]

DT: Cameron wraps Christian’s legs...ATOMIC DROP!

[Cruise turns and dives for the corner, but no one’s home. Paper Melton and Little Voltron on the outside nursing their wounds.]

DT: Nobody’s home!! It’s up to Cameron to win this match himself!

[As he turns, Sands buries a foot in his gut.]

DT: SIT-OUT POWERBOMB! Sands is climbing the top rope!!! [fans stand] If he hits this...TOP ROPE FROGSPLASH!!

MN: Goodnight Gracie.

DT: Cruise stirred but couldn’t move in time...the cover, ONE............TWO..............THREE!!!!!!!!! [Fans roar] We’ve got new EPW World Tag Team Champions!

[SFX: *DING* - Bell rings.]

TONY FATORA: Here are your winners and the NEEEEEEEEEEEW Tag-Team Cham-pions of the World... LLLLLLLLINDSAY TROOOOOOOOY ANNNNNND CHHHHHHHHHHRISTIAAAAAANNNN SAAAAAAAAANNNNNDSSSSSSS!!!

DT: Well, that was a hell of a match... but wait a second, who is this?

MN: It’s ERIK BLACK again! He’s hopping the barricade, and—

DM: Watch your chair, Mike!

MN: ****!!

[Mike tumbles to the floor for the second time in the evening as Erik Black, moving with incalculable yet stable speed, shoves him aside and takes his seat with him into the ring.]

DT: Black in the ring, and he’s going after Sands... NO!! Sands narrowly ducks a chair shot!!

[Moving off of an inherent sixth sense from years of experience, Sands manages to turn in time to see the assailant coming to him. Reflexively, he rolls out of the way, as Black runs by with the chair in motion. The big man steps to one end of the ring, still exhausted from his invigorating performance, but prepared for another physical bout. Black spins around, but decides against charging Christian head on, no longer having the element of surprise and not entirely eager to bum-rush the former World's Champion without the odds in his favor.]

DT: WHOA!! That nearly took Christian Sands’ head off! Now the men are involved in a standoff... with the lone tag-team champion on one end, and Erik Black on the other!

MN: I knew he was going to be here for this match... and hey, can somebody get me another chair please?

DM: Can someone get this guy a chair?

[As a member of the ring crew finds a replacement for Mike, “Stay In Shadow” by Finger Eleven suddenly comes over the PA. The men in the ring seem to notice the music, but don’t take their eyes off of each other. Then, upon the ramp...]

DT: Oh my God, it’s THEM!!

MN: It’s official; The Crimson Calling is BACK!!

[...Nathan Fear and the seven-foot tall Ivan Dalkichev appear from the entryway, wearing dismal expressions. Boldly, the two make their way down to the ring, entering on Black’s side. Fear has a mic in hand, as the Raging Russian, rather than coming to his partner’s side, removes the chair from Erik Black’s grip and sets it aside. Sands watches carefully, now knowing the numbers have changed. Fear paces in the ring for a moment, and then turns to Black.]

NF: This is very unprofessional of you, Erik... coming out here and throwing this temper tantrum. I let you get away with it in the case of the other teams... but these two?

[He shakes his head with disappointment, then turns to Sands.]

NF: I open-heartedly apologize for Mr. Black’s actions, Mr. Sands. There’s nothing worse than busting your ass to claim your titles, only to get lambasted out of nowhere from a person who doesn’t have the balls to fight you face to face. Nobody should have to be subjected to that... not even one half of the World Tag Champions.

[He looks up at the big Canadian, smiling slightly.]

NF: I can’t ruin your celebration... because I want you to celebrate as much as humanly possible. All proud thoughts will eventually end, because the Crimson Calling has returned... and we’ve come to reclaim what is rightfully ours.

[Fear comes over to Black.]

NF: Now apologize...

[He hands the mic to Erik, who looks as though he’s ready to explode. Black hesitates, then brings the mic to his face, looking directly at Sands...]

EB: Go **** yourself...

[Black furiously drops the mic, and makes his exeunt, followed by Dalkichev and Fear to the tune of “Stay In Shadow.” Sands remains in the ring, thinly smirking.]

DT: Jesus, I almost had a heart-attack!

MN: I wouldn’t be surprised if you did, fatass!

DT: Shut up, Mike. Christian Sands and Lindsay Troy have captured the tag-team gold, but the celebration seems short lived, thanks to the presence of the FORMER champions, the Crimson Calling. The Calling, as you know, where never defeated for the titles, but were instead forced to forfeit them when they left EPW for unspecified reasons.

DM: They’re undefeated... but so are Sands and Troy, ya know! If, um, Troy's even on the team... where the hell did she go, anyway?

DT: Now THAT is a good question...

[Cut to a video package for JA, Sebastian Dodd, and Jonathan Marx, but not before panning to Priest and Eisenkreuz grinning in the front row...]

 

[DBrunkGXW]

Beast [c] vs. Adam Benjamin vs. Boogie Smallz - Wrestleverse 1 - World Title Match

[CUT TO: John Doe, sitting in front of an EPW backdrop.]

JOHN DOE: "I remember, uh, being backstage when this match was going on saying, oh my God, these guys are going to make history. I knew, right then and there that Beast was going to become not only a large part of Empire Pro the company but just a symbol of the wrestling industry period. Not to mention adding in Boogie Smallz and Adam Benjamin, this match by far was beyond a match, it was legendary."

DT: Well, folks, this is the match we've all been waiting for! The huge triple-threat main event between Beast, Adam Benjamin and Boogie Smallz!
DM: Man, this one's going to be off the CHAIN. Beast and Benjamin tore the house down last time they faced off, but with Boogie Smallz in there who knows what could happen.

MN: Tonight's the night! I can smell it! Big Loafy's going to get knocked off his throne by Big Daddy English or the Boogie Woogie Man!

DT: I wouldn't be so sure, Mike Neely. Beast has been dominant as champion ever since defeating Christian Sands for the title months ago, and he's rolled through everyone who's challenged him. We could see more of that tonight. Take it away, Tony!

TONY FATORA: Th' following contest is scheduled as an elimination match of two falls! The last man standing will be crowned the World Heavyweight Champion! There is a sixty-minute time limit!

[Cue up: "Lose Yourself" - Eminem. "Yours Truly" Adam Benjamin makes his way slowly to the ring. Adam is wearing two English flag bandana's one that cover his head and the other that covers the lower part of his face revealing only his stone cold eyes. Adam makes his way into the ring and stands firm in his corner waiting for the bell to ring.]

TONY FATORA: Introducing first, at a weight of two hundred and forty five pounds... He hails from the United Kingdom and is a former EPW Intercontinental Champion... This... iss... ADAAAAAAAAMMMMMM... BEEEEEEEN-JAMIIIIIIINNNNN!

DT: Listen to the mixed reaction from this crowd as Adam Benjamin makes his way to the ring.

DM: Screw anyone who boos. Adam Benjamin is one of the greatest wrestlers of our time and deserves respect and admiration from everyone who dares call himself a wrestling fan.

MN: Big Daddy English rules!

[Cue up: "Black Superman" - Above The Law. The crowd promptly begins to boo as Boogie Smallz saunters down the ramp, bong in one hand, blunt in the other. He puffs his spliff and blows smoke in the face of a man at ringside as he climbs into the ring, handing the bong to referee Pat Jones.]

TONY FATORA: From Brooklyn, New York... He weighs in at one hundred an' forty-three kilos... He issss BOOGIEEEEEEEEE... SMAAAAAAALLLLLLLLZZZ!

DT: And this crowd is all over Boogie Smallz, the last [BEEP] champion-

DM: Hey, wait a second, they beep out [BEEP] now?

DT: Wow, they do. [BEEP]. [BEEP]. [BEEP].

MN: Hey, cool! Do they beep GWA?

DM: No, just [BEEP].

MN: Ah, so there has to be an E at the end of the GW. What about GW...Eh? Or [BEEP].

DM: it used to be called that. But they can't beep GYW!

DT: *groan*

[The arena lights fade down to darkness, then slowly come back up in deep blue as the sound of chanting monks fill the arena, and the video screens light up with "BEAST" flashing in different styles and colors of text, mixed in with video clips of Beast executing various moves on his opponents. The chanting monks play for about 15 seconds, then fade into Nickelback's "Figure You Out", and as the opening guitar chords hit, a blast of red and white pyro go off around the stage area, then Beast walks through the smoke down the ramp and to the ring. Once in the ring, Beast salutes the fans by touching his fist to his chest over his heart a couple times before raising his hand in the air.]

TONY FATORA: And finally, from Winnipeg, Manitoba! He weighs two hundred and ninety pounds! He is the reigning and defending Empire Pro Wrestling Heavyweight Cham-pion of the World! Thissss issss BEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAASSSSSSSSSSST!!!

DT: What a huge ovation for the World's Heavyweight Champion! This crowd is on their feet!

MN: Sit down, you bums! Loafy doesn't deserve this!

DM: Shh! The match is starting!

[SFX: *DING* - Bell rings.]

DT: There's the bell, and that puts this main event under way! No blows yet - it's Beast and Smallz staring each other down inTENsely!

MN: You can bet that Beast still hasn't forgiven Smallz for screwing him in War Games!

DT: These two powerhouses, going nose to nose now-

DM: Get a load of Big Daddy English!

DT: *chuckling* Smallz and Beast nose to nose, and Adam Benjamin jumping around alongside, waving his arms!

MN: He's being overlooked.

DM: Benjis need love too, Mikeman.

DT: Smallz and Beast talking some trash now, still ignoring Benjamin... Smallz signaling for the test of strength... Beast takes it... AND THEY TURN AND NAIL BENJAMIN WITH A DOUBLE CLOTHESLINE!!!

DM: SWERVE!

MN: Ow! Benji got ROCKED!

DT: Benjamin comes to his feet in surprise - Beast SLUGS him in the face! And another big right hand! Benjamin staggers away - into a right from Boogie! Beast! Boogie! They're bouncing Benjamin around like a pinball!

DM: You've got to believe that Beast and Smallz want to tear into each other, so they're going to take A-Benj out of the equation first.

DT: Big right from Beast - and he whips Benjamin into the ropes, boosting him to the outside!

MN: Up he goes!

DM: Interesting tactic by Beast. In this match you CAN be counted out because it's elimination style. He can toss Benjamin out and let the timekeeper take him out of contention, leaving just Beast and Boogie.

DT: And now these two great monsters staring each other down... there's the lock-up, and Beast powers Boogie towards the corner! Boogie braces himself and locks up, pushing Beast back to the center of the ring!

MN: It's like watching two bulls lock horns!

DM: These are both huge guys with a big power advantage. The styles are very similar. I WANT to see these two go at it.

DT: Both men straining now, trying to gain an advantage... wait, Benjamin slides back into the ring and slugs Beast in the back, allowing Smallz to power Beast down!

MN: So much for count-outs.

DT: Benjamin and Smallz taking turns stomping away at Beast now. The World's Champion fighting towards the corner, but Benjamin just pushes him into it and starts stomping a mudhole into Beast.

DM: Benjamin's fired up. You can see the killer instinct in his eyes. That's the sort of thing that made him MCW Champion, and it could make him EPW Champion right here tonight.

DT: Stomping away - Smallz now pushing Benjamin to the side to stomp at Beast himself! Benjamin's indignant - pulls Beast away, and we have ourselves an argument brewing here!

MN: They both want a piece of Beast!

DT: The heated exchange, and BENJAMIN SLAPS SMALLZ RIGHT ACROSS THE FACE! Smallz did NOT like that one bit - HUGE knee to the gut! Whips Benjamin into the ropes! BIG BOOT connects!

MN: I think Boogie got ahold of some bad stuff, man!

DT: A reeling Benjamin comes to his feet and advances on Smallz, but gets caught with the big sideslam from the final GWE Champion. Smallz with the cover - There's two - Kickout by Adam Benjamin.

DM: You're not going to put away Benjamin with a sideslam, Dave. The kid may give up a lot of weight to these two beasts, but he's resilient and has a fine grasp of ring psychology.

MN: Hell, look at how hard Beast had it last time!

DT: Smallz now cradling Benjamin's head, bringing him to his feet... up for the scoop slam but Benjamin floats through! Smallz turning - boot to the gut by Benjamin, and there's the snap suplex!

MN: Wooh! Crisp!

DM: Benji knows his ****.

DT: DEAN! FAMILY SHOW-

DM: DAVE! PAY-PER-VIEW!

DT: *grumble* Benjamin now taking control of this matchup, moving to his very technical, mat-based offense. Slugging away at Boogie's neck with big right hands, and there's the neck vice-

DM: Oh snap!

DT: - But Beast NAILS Benjamin with a kick to the jaw! Benjamin is down, and Beast is hammering away on Smallz's head with huge right hands!

MN: It's like a boxing match in there!

DT: Referee Pat Jones gets in there to break it up - Benjamin jumps on Beast from behind with clubbing blows! Beast hammering back with big right hands! We've got an all-out slugfest erupting here!

MN: Dey be sluggin', dey be sluggin'!

DM: It's sluggin' and buggin'!

DT: Beast takes control with the big knee lift to the gut of Benjamin, stunning Yours Truly. Backs him into the corner - OH, WHAT a chop by Beast!

[CROWD: Wooooo!]

DM: That's gonna leave a welt!

DT: Now the World's Champion on the attack, driving those shoulders into the gut of Adam Benjamin. Whips him into the opposite corner - Benjamin hits the buckles and bounces out - RIGHT INTO A SPINEBUSTER FROM THE CHAMPION!!! The cover! One! Two! No, Boogie Smallz broke up the count!

MN: That spinebuster shook the ring!

DM: That's the advantage of Beast. He's so damn powerful and intense that he can just hurl people around like rag dolls.

DT: And Beast and Boogie again giving each other the evil eye! Smallz with a right hand! Beast now! Slugging away! Beast gaining control, backing Smallz into the ropes - clotheslines him to the outside!

MN: Down he goes!

DT: Beast turning to take on Benjamin again - No, Benjamin's up! DDTs Smallz down and holds on to apply a guillotine choke, mixed martial arts style!

DM: Good call by Benjamin there, cutting off the flow of blood to Beast's head.

DT: Smallz beginning to recover on the outside -

[CROWD: *HUGE POP*]

DT: WAIT A MINUTE! IS THAT WHO I THINK IT IS?!?!

DM: HOLY ****!

DT: KEVIN POWERS JUST STEPPED OUT OF THE CROWD - AND GABRIEL POE RIGHT BEHIND HIM!!! THE DARK CARNIVAL IS HERE IN DENVER!!!

MN: WHAAAAT! What're THEY doing here!

DT: The referee's busy watching the submission in the ring - AND MISSES POWERS LEVELING BOOGIE SMALLZ WITH A FIERCE RIGHT HOOK! POE NOW STOMPING THE LIFE OUT OF SMALLZ ON THE FLOOR!

DM: And the timekeeper's over there counting down!

TIMEKEEPER: Four!... Five!...

DT: DAMMIT, THIS IS NOT RIGHT!! Powers now scooping up Smallz... Oh my God, no - NO!!! DAMMIT, KISS THE CANVAS!!! THAT DAMN SLINGSHOT POWERBOMB BOUNCES SMALLZ OFF THE RING BARRICADE DOWN ONTO THE STEEL RAMP!!!

TIMEKEEPER: Six!... Seven!...

DM: SMALLZ JUST GOT LAID THE HELL OUT!!!

MN: THAT'S NUTS!!!

DT: Dammit, Smallz is OUT! He's not moving and the damn Dark Carnival are heading up the ramp laughing!

TIMEKEEPER: Eight!... Nine!... Ten!

[SFX: *DING* - Bell rings.]

TONY FATORA: By virtue of a count-out, BOOGIE SMALLZ HAS BEEN ELIMINATED!

DT: And just like that, Boogie Smallz' dreams of victory tonight go up in smoke as the Dark Carnival leave their mark!

DM: Yeah yeah. Check the ring.

DT: Back to the action - Beast POWERS out of Benjamin's chokehold, finally! Backs Yours Truly into a corner and HAMMERS away with shoulder thrusts! Now BEELS Benjamin into the center of the ring!

MN: It's Beast-Benjamin round two!

DM: And this one's gonna be intense!

DT: Benjamin coming to his feet... Beast whips him off into the ropes. Looking for a big boot - Benjamin DUCKS - BEAST HANGS HIS LEG UP ON THE TOP ROPE, AND HE IS SCREAMING IN PAIN!

DM: That's HELL on his quadricep muscles, the way his leg is hung up like that! I remember an athlete of my acquaintance actually ripping his quad clean off like that.

MN: Loafy got pwned!

DT: Now Benjamin in behind Beast... pulls him off the ropes with the big neckbreaker! Now circles around and starts dropping knees onto that injured quadricep of Beast!

DM: This could give Benjamin the match. He smells blood, and if I know him he'll tear that quad apart like a wild dog.

DT: Beast trying to fight to the ropes, but Benjamin grabs the foot of his bag right leg - lifts the entire leg and SLAMS IT INTO THE MAT! BEAST IS IN AGONY!

MN: Man! BDE's going to TOWN on that leg!

DT: You can see the cocky grin on Adam Benjamin's face as he waits for Beast to get to his feet! Now he moves in - DROPKICK to the quad takes Beast back down!

DM: Some mind games there by Adam Benjamin. He let Beast get back up, then took him down again. That can't sit well with the Champ.

DT: The challenger is in total control here at Wrestleverse, wearing down that leg of Beast's. Big stomps to the quad, and Beast is clutching his leg in pain!

MN: I've never seen anyone pick Big Loafy apart like this.

DT: Benjamin now, resting Beast's leg on the ropes... straddles his quad... boosts himself up and COMES DOWN ACROSS THAT QUAD WITH ALL HIS WEIGHT! BEAST IS SCREAMING AND CLUTCHING HIS QUAD AS HE ROLLS AWAY!

DM: What'd I tell ya! That's the Benji Advantage! He grabs that body part and destroys it!

DT: And he's not done yet! Benjamin grabs Beast's leg, flips him over! Signals to the crowd... LOOKING FOR THE FIGURE FOUR - BEAST KICKS HIM AWAY WITH HIS GOOD LEG! Benjamin falls into the ropes and springs forward into a bridge roll-up!

One!

TWO!

Beast kicks out!

MN: There's still loaf in the life! I mean, life in the loaf!

DM: Give it up.

MN: Aw.

DT: Adam Benjamin seems a bit taken aback by Beast's resilience! DROPS the big knee to the quad! Another cover - Kickout by Beast! Benjamin again with the cover - no, big kickout by Beast!

DM: There you see it. The tried-and-true tactic of wearing a man down with pin covers.

DT: A frustrated Benjamin now bringing Beast to his feet... hooks him up, could be looking for the fisherman's suplex... But Beast won't budge!

MN: Loafy's too big!

DT: Benjamin tries again - BEAST LOCKS HIS ARMS AROUND THE CHALLENGER AND DESTROYS ADAM BENJAMIN WITH A BELLY-TO-BELLY SUPLEX, and now both men are down and out!

DM: That suplex had a LOT of power behind it, but it was very much a desperation maneuver. Beast's still hurting from all the punishment Adam Benjamin out him through.

MN: Come on, Big Daddy English! Get up and kick his ass!

DT: Referee Pat Jones beginning the count... both men are on their feet at seven. Benjamin moves in and swings - Beast BLOCKS it and chops Benjamin hard! Another chop! Another, and this crowd is ROARING their approval!

MN: He's starting to feel the RAAAAHR!

DT: Beast chopping! He's taking a trip to the woodshed on Adam Benjamin! Backs him into the ropes! The whip - HUGE clothesline from the Apex Predator! Benjamin up - Beast clotheslines him down! Again Benjamin up - SNAP RELEASE POWERSLAM BY BEAST! Benjamin is reeling, and he rolls to the floor to recover!

DM: That's a double-edged sword there, Dave Thomas. Benjamin needs to get some of his focus back, but at the same time he's giving Beast time to shake some of the pain out of his quad.

DT: You can see Beast pushing his kneepad up a little to protect the lower part of his quad, and now massaging the leg muscles to try and dull the pain.

MN: I'd like the sexy Empire Girls to give ME a massage. Yow!

DM: Mike. Get your mind outta the gutter.

MN: Whaaaat!

DM: Besides, Ruby's mine.

DT: A very frustrated Adam Benjamin continues to roam at ringside - what - wait a minute, Benjamin just pulled a chair out of the crowd and is sliding back into the ring!

MN: Ooooohhh.

DT: Pat Jones is having none of this! He's pulling that chair away from Benjamin - he's got it! The official taking the chair outside - AND BENJAMIN KICKS BEAST SQUARE IN THE GROIN WHILE THE REFEREE'S BACK IS TURNED!!!

DM: Ouch! That had to hurt!

MN: He just got hit in his Alpha Malehood!

DT: Beast is down! Benjamin rolls into the cover! Dammit, we have a new champion!

One!

TWO!

THREE!!

NO! NO!! TWO POINT NINE!!! BEAST GOT THAT SHOULDER UP!!!

DM: What resilience by the champion, kicking out after that freakin' SOCCER KICK to the nuts!

MN: He's superhuman, man! He must have, like, balls of steel!

DT: And Adam Benjamin can't believe it! He's pounding on the canvas yelling 'That was three!' He's arguing the count with referee Pat Jones!

MN: Pat ain't budging on this one.

DT: Benjamin rather insistent - uh oh, Beast sitting up now... climbing to his feet, and he's GLARING DAGGERS at Adam Benjamin's back!

DM: This is bad for Adam. Very bad for Adam.

MN: Don't turn around, BDE!

DT: Benjamin turning now... AND BEAST SPEARS THE CHALLENGER STRAIGHT OUT OF HIS BOOTS!!!

MN: That shook the whole RING!

DT: Beast just broke Adam Benjamin in half! The challenger to his feet weakly - MASSIVE SHOULDER BLOCK BY BEAST levels Benjamin! Now Beast grabs Benjamin by the arm - LEVELS him with a short-arm lariat! There's the cover! One! TWO! ...No, two and a half!

DM: Benjamin's still in the game here!

DT: You can see the focus and the intensity in the face of the World Champion, Beast! He brings Benjamin up by the hair - Whips him off into the ropes, and CATCHES HIM WITH THE ONE EIGHTY DEGREE SPINEBUSTER!!! WHAT A MANEUVER!!! COVER!!!

One!

TWO!!

Three - NO! Benjamin got a shoulder up!

DM: But you have to believe Benjamin's hurting now, too.

MN: Ooh, this is getting intense! - and hey, look who's watching from the ramp!

DM: It's Sebastian Dodd, and he's watching Adam Benjamin!

DT: Again Beast pulling up Benjamin and sending him into the ropes - BAAAACK BODY DROP by Beast, and this crowd is on its feet! Beast's feeding off the energy of the crowd here! Benjamin up! CLOTHESLINE by the big man! Now Beast with the press slam - NO, Beast's bad leg just gave out and Benjamin fell on top in a crossboy position! One! Two - Beast kicks out!

MN: Wow, Benjamin's work DID pay off.

DM: Definitely, Mike. Beast's adrenaline was pumping like crazy and he was ignoring most of the pain, but that time it just caught up with him.

DT: The tide seems to have turned here in Denver as Benjamin immediately takes advantage! Kneedrops to the quad of Beast... and Benjamin LOCKS IN THE FIGURE FOUR ON THE BAD QUAD!!! BEAST IS IN A WORLD OF HURT!!!@

MN: Listen to him scream! SQUEAL, Piggeh, SQUEAL!

DM: This hold is just ripping Beast apart right now! It's putting all the pressure on his legs in a big way!

DT: Beast fighting to hold on! He's trying to turn that hold over!

MN: Give it up, Loafy! GIVE IT UP!

DM: It'll take a lot of pain for Beast to tap! Last time Beast lost by submission his opponent had to choke him into unconsciousness!

DT: Beast beginning to pitch towards the side! Benjamin trying to keep the hold locked in!

MN: He's tipping!

DT: Wait, Benjamin breaks the hold! Flips Beast onto his back... ANKLELOCK APPLIED!!!

DM: SMART, SMART move by Adam Benjamin! He saw that Beast was going to turn the hold over on him and bailed out before Beast could reverse the pressure!

MN: Beast's gotta tap now!

DT: This crowd is rallying behind Beast! The champion is in agony, but he's not giving up! He's fighting towards the ropes!

MN: Not gonna make it!

DT: He's THIS CLOSE to the ropes - BENJAMIN PULLS HIM BACK INTO THE CENTER OF THE RING!!!

DM: Ooooooh. Benjamin's got him.

MN: TAAAAAAP!

DT: Wait! Beast turns over - Kicks Benjamin in the gut! Benjamin backs into the ropes and stomps on Beast's face! Now pulling the champion off the mat - Whips Beast into the ropes, looking for a back body drop - BEAST CATCHES HIM IN A HEADSCISSORS! UNDERHOOKS THE ARMS - YES! ABSOLUTION! ABSOLUTION!!!

MN: NO!!

DM: What a desperation move!

DT: The Absolution connects - but Beast is completely out! Both men are down on the canvas, not moving an inch!

DM: This has been one hell of a match here tonight, Dave Thomas. Both of these guys have thrown themselves at each other, and I wouldn't be surprised to see a double KO counted here.

DT: Pat Jones beginning the count.

MN: We can't have a double KO! We can't!

DM: We might.

DT: It doesn't look lke we will, as both men are stirring! Slowly coming to their feet - no, Beast falls to one knee as his quad buckles again!

DM: And that's what could finish beast. That leg of his might not be able to support him.

MN: Hope not! World Champion, Adam Benjamin, baby!

DT: Benjamin sees Beast down on that knee... hits the ropes - SHINING WIZARD! BEAST GOES DOWN HARD!!! BENJAMIN WITH THE COVER!!!

DM: IT'S OVER!!!

DT: ONE!!!


TWO!!!!



THREEEEEE!!!

... NO!!! NO!!! PAT JONES IS SAYING BEAST GOT HIS SHOULDER OFF THE CANVAS!!!

DM: NO WAY!!!

MN: WHAAAAT?!

DT: I CANNOT BELIEVE THE RESILIENCE OF THE WORLD'S CHAMPION!!! Beast just refuses to go down! And Benjamin is FURIOUS, pounding the canvas in a fit of rage!

MN: Come on, Benji! Finish him off!

DT: A furious Benjamin dragging Beast into the corner! Leans him against the turnbuckles and boosts him onto the top! Going up... we could see a superplex here!

DM: This is going to hurt.

MN: Goodbyyyye, Loafy!

DT: Benjamin coming up - Beast recovers enough to slug him in the face! Benjamin is stunned - another punch by Beast drops him to the mat on his feet!

DM: Uh-oh...

DT: Another right from Beast - oh my dear lord, he's underhooking the arms! DON'T TELL ME!!!

MN: OH NO!

DM: NO WAY!!!

DT: BRINGS BENJAMIN UP!!! MY GOD!!! THE ABSOLUTION OFF THE TOP ROPE, AND ADAM BENJAMIN MIGHT AS WELL BE A DAMN CORPSE!!!

DM: THAT WAS SICK!!! HIS NECK COULD BE BROKEN!!!

MN: AAAAAAH!!!

DT: BEAST WITH THE COVER!!!

ONE!!!


TWO!!!!



THREEEEEEEE!!! IT'S OVER!!!

[SFX: *DING* - Bell rings.]

TONY FATORA: Here is your winner, and STILLLLLLLL Heavyweight Cham-pion of the Worrrrrrrld... BEEEEEEEEEEEEASSSSSSSSSSST!!!

DT: Adam Benjamin poured his heart and soul into that match, but in the end it wasn't enough to overcome the sheer determination of the Champion Beast.

DM: Still, though. Adam keeps getting closer and closer. Maybe tonight wasn't his night, but someday, it will be.

MN: Hey, where's Dodd going?

[As Beast heads to the back, Sebastian Dodd strolls to ringside, gazing in at the recovering Benjamin. The two men lock eyes. Smirking, Dodd gives Benjamin a 'What happened?' gesture, spreading his arms at his sides. Benjamin glares daggers at him.]

[Fade to credits, then to black, leaving us with the image of Dodd and Benjamin staring holes through each other...]

 

[DBrunkGXW]

"Mr Main Event" Rob Sampson vs. "Gentleman" Jonathan Marx - Aggression 1

[CUT TO: Dan Ryan, sitting in front of en EPW backdrop.]

RYAN: The issues between Marx and I are well known and not exaggerated for once. We definitely had some major problems with each other. But this was before things got bad, and no matter what happened on a personal level, he was always a hell of a worker. As for Rob, everyone knows he was my best friend in the business. When he passed away it just absolutely stunned everyone, since things were going really well for him at the time. He was also one of the best in-ring performers there’s ever been. At the time he had a much more prestigious career than I did and I really do believe he would have ended up mentioned among the greatest ever with time. He was that good. And in this match with two of the best workers in the biz going one on one on the very first show we ever had – will always be one of my favorites for the historical significance, the personal nature of it and the way the match itself came off in the end. It wasn’t a very long match – but it’s a clinic in technical wrestling.

[The arena lights are dimmed as Clawfinger's "Biggest and the Best" begins to play. Strobe lights flash all around the entrance stage and above the ring as Rob Sampson strides out from the back. While walking to the ring, he slaps hands the fans standing along the aisle, pointing out signs that feature his likeness or bear epithets of praise for him.]

DT: If you've ever needed an example of the kind of great talent Empire Pro Wrestling has on its roster, Rob Sampson is it. The man is one of Global X-Treme Wrestling's biggest stars and has an unfathomable amount of talent.

MN: Sampson? If you cut his hair, does he lose his power? Heh!

DT: No, that's Samson with no P.

MN: Psheeeeew. Right over your head.

[CUE UP: "Only Happy When It Rains" - Garbage. The crowd offers a decidedly mixed reaction as Jonathan Marx walks to the ring.]

DT: Speaking of great talent, Jonathan Marx has made quite a splash all over the world lately and recently won FWI Magazine's Rookie of the Year Award!

MN: He's an ignorant prick, that's what he is. Imagine, comparing Sampson to... some Van Damme guy from some bush-league.

DT: We'll see if Marx has adequately prepared for Sampson's offense.

[SFX: *DINGDINGDING* - Bell rings.]

[The two men circle briefly. Marx moves in and goes for a lock-up, smirking. Sampson meets him and immediately executes a go-behind, snagging a tight hammerlock. Marx attempts to reverse it into an arm wringer, but Sampson drops down and pulls both of Marx's legs out from under him, vaulting over to go for an armbar. Marx rolls over to avoid it, and Sampson sits on Marx's back, ruffling his hair playfully before backing off and coming to his feet. Marx gets to a knee and stares at Sampson in frustration; Mr. Main Event grins back.]

DT: Looks like Jonathan Marx got a bit more than he bargained for with that exchange! He was expecting a high-flyer and got some great chain wrestling from Sampson!

MN: The egg's on Jon's face, I tells ya.

[A bit tentatively, Marx moves to lock up again. Sampson seems to reciprocate, but slugs Marx at the last second. The blow surprises Marx and knocks him back a few steps. The Gentleman retaliates with a right of his own, but Sampson catches the arm and pulls Marx into an armdrag. Marx gets up and rushes Sampson, only to eat another armdrag. A third armdrag from Sampson soon follows, and Marx rolls down to the floor to regroup.]

DT: Sampson unloading the tight arm drags! Looks like he's got Marx off balance in the early going.

[Sampson quickly slides down to the floor and takes Marx from behind with a few clubbing blows, staggering him. Grunting, Sampson takes Marx by the arm and Irish-whips him towards the ring stairs. However, Marx quickly reverses, sending Sampson caroming into the steps with an impact that jars them loose!]

MN: Ooh, he's gonna feel that in the morning!

DT: Marx sending Sampson right into that cold, unforgiving steel!

MN: Maybe it's Sampson who's got the omelette-face now.

[Taking a breath, Marx drives a few right hands into Sampson's head, then rolls him back into the ring, following him. Sampson staggers to his feet, and Marx wraps him up to launch him with a rough overhead suplex, swinging over into a pin!]

DT: Marx with the cover off the belly-to-belly! One - two - Kickout by Sampson!

MN: Come on, a belly-to-belly hasn't been a finisher since Gabriel Bane still wrestled for GXW.

[Pulling Sampson off the canvas, Marx whips him into the ropes and throws a clothesline. Sampson ducks it and comes back with his own clothesline, which Marx ducks. As Sampson rebounds, Marx steps forward and pushes him into the air before catching him and slamming him down back-first to the canvas!]

DT: OH! Marx with a big spinebuster!

MN: The kid may be a pretentious jackass, but he's adaptable. He wasn't expecting Sampson to be like he is, but he's hanging in there.

[Holding his back, Sampson gets to his feet. Marx steps in behind him and slams him in the back with a pair of hard forearms, knocking Sampson to his knees. From there, Marx drops an elbow on him to flatten him.]

DT: Marx working on that back of Sampson, trying to keep him down on the canvas.

[As Sampson rolls over, Marx kicks him in the gut and goes for a spinning toe hold; however, Sampson gets his other foot up against Marx's thigh and pushes, knocking the Gentleman down. Sampson immediately rolls to his feet, as does Marx. However, it's Mr. Main Event who scores with the next blow, kicking Marx in the gut before drilling him with an exploder suplex '98!]

DT: EXPLODER by Sampson! What a move!

MN: Marx just got DRILLED! I'm surprised we can't see little birdies circling his head going "Cheep cheep! Cheep cheep!"

[Holding his head, Marx comes to his feet and turns towards Sampson, who immediately snaps him up, hooks a leg, and cracks him with a stiff fisherman's neckbreaker. Immediately, Sampson picks Marx up and follows up with a hangman's neckbreaker, rolling over for a pin.]

DT: Series of neckbreakers by Sampson, and there's a cover! One - two - Oh, Marx got the shoulder up!

MN: Jon's head has got to be spinning right now.

[Sampson punches Marx in the face a few times, then pulls him off the mat, underhooking his arms; however, Marx manages to break free and pull Sampson's legs forward, knocking him onto his back. From there, Marx launches Sampson into the corner with a catapult, bouncing Mr. Main Event's face off a turnbuckle!]

DT: Oh, there's the slingshot by Marx, breaking the double-underhook!

[Taking a second or two to scout the situation, Marx charges into the corner for a running splash; however, Sampson gets a foot up to catch Marx. Sampson promptly moves in and grabs the double-underhook again, taking Marx over with a butterfly suplex. He holds the double-underhook in and delivers another butterfly suplex before seguing into a DDT from the butterfly position!]

DT: What a combo by Sampson! Two butterfly suplexes and a double-arm DDT!

MN: Marx is so dead right now.

DT: Sampson's covering him! One -

TWO -

NO, so close! Marx JUST managed to kick out!

MN: Resilient, ain't he?

[Grabbing Marx by the arm, Sampson jerks him to his feet and boosts him up in a spinebuster position. However, Marx reacts on instinct, twisting to take Sampson down with an armbar. He immediately clubs at Sampson's back and wraps him up in a tight grounded octopus hold!]

DT: Octopus lock by Jonathan Marx! He reversed what looked to be a spinebuster from Sampson!

MN: Resilient, technically sound... and an ass. Well, at least he adapts.

DT: Sampson looks like he's fading! Marx is one of the most technically-sound competitors we have in Empire Pro Wrestling, and once he gets you in his clutches, it's hard to break free.

MN: As you can see.

DT: Hold on, Sampson's trying to edge closer to the ropes - NO, Marx rolls over and puts him in a bow-and-arrow lock!

MN: Oh, shoot.

DT: Sampson's back is being stretched here, but he's trying to break free!

MN: He's straining-

DT: He's out!

[Breaking free of the bow-and-arrow, Sampson rolls over onto his hands and knees - well, onto one hand. The other one's holding his back. Scowling, Marx comes to his feet and advances on Sampson. However, Marx finds himself eating boot polish as Sampson reacts on instinct, drilling him with a brutally stiff superkick!]

DT: THERE IT IS! The Show Stopper!

MN: Marx ate foot!

DT: Sampson's not covering!

[Taking a breath, Sampson reaches up with one hand and signals to the crowd, who roar in approval. With that, Sampson heaves Marx off the mat and into an inverted fireman's carry, dropping him on his head with an inverted Death Valley Driver!]

DT: HEADLINER!!! HEADLINER!!! SAMPSON'S FINISHING MOVE CONNECTS!!!

MN: HE DRILLED HIM!!!

DT: SAMPSON'S GOT THE COVER -

ONE -


TWO -



THREEEEEE!!!

[SFX: *DINGDINGDING* - Bell rings]

WINNER: “Mr. Main Event” Rob Sampson

DT: Sampson wins this one!!! What a great technical show these two put on!

MN: Damn right, I’d like to see these two go at it again sometime!

DT: I’d be all for it, that’s for sure!

 

[DBrunkGXW]

Christian Sands [c] vs. Beast - Unleashed 2004 - World Title Match

[CUT TO: Layne Winters, sitting in front of an EPW backdrop.]

WINTERS: Beast was definitely respected as a tough son of a b*tch who was chasing that title for a long, long time. I remember being at the hotel bar, watching these guys slug it out inside a cage for 25 minutes, thinking "Man, if that could be me some day...g*ddamn I would have made it." And then watching Beast finally get his due, when they put the strap on him...just an awesome, awesome night. That dude was, and still is hardcore all the way.

[CUT TO: Dan Ryan, sitting in front of an EPW backdrop.]

RYAN: I love this match for so many reasons. The Christian Sands-Beast rivalry was crafted to be our first major storyline and those guys absolutely delivered on every level. To top it off, Lindsay Troy had been at Beast’s side for some time prior to this – and even though she’d already left him in A1E, the EPW audience had no idea what was about to go down. This was the beginning of, as Neely would say… “Naughty Lindsay” and the flash point for the beginning of her personal rise to the main event.

DT: Welcome back, everyone! It's time for the match we've all been waiting for!

MN: Hell yeah!

[Cut to the ring. Ominous music begins to play as the steel cage descends from the rafters, dropping down slowly over the ring.]

DT: And here comes that unforgiving steel cage, which means it's time for the match we've been waiting for two and a half months to see!

MN: Oh MAN! Even I want to see this one!

DT: It's the rematch from Black Dawn! Beast challenging Christian Sands for the World Heavyweight Title in a steel cage! But this isn't just about the title anymore, Mike! There's so much at stake here! Pride! Respect! Dignity! These two have been at each other's throats for months, but now it all comes to a head!

MN: You just KNOW there's gonna be blood!

DT: The cage has come down - let's get this show on the road!

[Cue up: "Dark Machine" - Paul Oakenfold. The lights in the arena go out; the GlobalTron lights up with an image of Christian Sands gazing down from a distance, his face illuminated as if by car headlights through a window. After the first fourteen seconds of the song, a red strobelight kicks in. Smoke machines begin blowing a drifting mist horizontally across the ramp as Christian Sands emerges, striding down the ramp with the mist curling about his feet. He pauses at the foot of the ramp to stare up at the steel cage, then shrugs, walking in through the door and holding the title high as the crowd boos thunderously.]

DT: And here comes the World Champion! This is a man who has tormented Beast ever since Black Dawn, but you've got to believe he's intent on retaining the title here tonight!

MN: Well, no DUH! He's the champ!

[The arena lights fade down to darkness, then slowly come back up in deep blue as the sound of chanting monks fill the arena, and the video screens light up with "BEAST" flashing in different styles and colors of text, mixed in with video clips of Beast executing various moves on his opponents. The chanting monks play for about 15 seconds, then fade into Nickelback's "Figure You Out", and as the opening guitar chords hit, a blast of red and white pyro go off around the stage area, then Beast walks through the smoke down the ramp and to the ring, followed closely by Lindsay Troy. Stepping into the cage, Beast stares across at Sands, who stares back.]

DT: This could very well be the night for Beast to shine! He's chased this title ever since his arrival here in Empire Pro Wrestling, and now he has the chance to take it home at the expense of his rival Sands!

MN: As IF he'll win. He brought the raahr last time and STILL lost.

[SFX: *DING* - Bell rings. Sands and Beast step into the center of the cage, Tony Fatora and the official standing between them.]

TONY FATORA: Ladies and gentlemen, th' following contest is scheduled for one fall! It will be contested inside this steel cage for the Empire Pro Wrestling Heavyweight Championship of the World! The rules are as follows! Victory can be attained through pinfall or submission, or by escaping the cage by climbing over the edge and touching both feet to the floor outside the cage! The door may not be used for escape and will be bolted shut!

[The portly announcer gestures to Sands, who is staring at Beast intently.]

TONY FATORA: Introducing first... He hails from Barrie, Ontario... He weighs in at two hundred and seventy pounds... He is the reigning and defending Empire Pro Wrestling Heavyweight Champion of the World... He isssss CHRRRRRRRRISTIAAAAANNNNNNN... SAAAAAAAAAAAAANDSSSSSSSSS!!!

[CROWD: *BOOING LOUDLY*]

TONY FATORA: And the challenger!

[CROWD: "BEAST! BEAST! BEAST! BEAST!"]

TONY FATORA: He hails from Winnipeg, Manitoba! He weighs in at two hundred and ninety pounds! He is accompanied at ringside by the Queen of the Ring, Lindsay Troy! He is the number one contender to the Heavyweight Championship of the World! THISSSS... ISSSSS... BEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAASSSSSSSST!!!

[As the crowd roars, Beast stares a hole through Sands, his eyes burning with intensity.]

[Quickly, Fatora turns and slips out of the cage. An official at ringside locks the cage behind him. Inside the cage, senior referee Pat Jones signals for the bell.]

[SFX: *DING* - Bell rings!]

DT: And there's the bell! The Georgia Dome is already roaring as we get this match under way!

[Slowly, Sands and Beast step towards each other. For a long moment they simply stare at each other, hatred crackling in the air between then. The crowd eats it up.]

DT: An intense staredown between the champion and the challenger!

MN: You can FEEL the electricity in the air! These two hate each other!

[After a moment, Sands raises a hand to signal for a test of strength. Beast stares at him, then extends his own hand. However, Sands boots him in the gut and begins firing off knife-edged chops, backing Beast into a corner as the crowd boos!]

DT: What a cheap trick! Sands fakes the test of strength and starts the match with a flurry of chops!

MN: Cheap my foot! He outsmarted the big oaf!

[With Beast in the corner, Sands chops furiously at him. However, Beast grabs him by the neck and reverses him into the corner. Growling, Beast puts the boots to Sands, then pushes him against the turnbuckle and nails him with a stiff overhand chop that draws a "WOOOOO" from the fans. Sands bucks from the impact and stumbles out of the corner, holding his chest.]

DT: What a huge chop by Beast!

MN: It's like a trip to the woodshed in here!

[Pushing Sands into another corner, Beast delivers a pair of elbow smashes, stunning his opponent. Beast quickly hooks Sands under the arms and wheels him out of the corner with a powerful beel, launching the champion at least twelve feet across the ring!]

DT: OH! Beast beels Sands out of the corner with auTHORity!

MN: Holy monkey! Sands should be earning Air Miles for that flight!

[Holding his back, Sands stumbles to his feet. Beast immediately moves in and clotheslines him. With a yell of "Get up!", Beast waits for Sands to rise, then hits the ropes and rebounds to clock Sands in the face with a running boot! The champion goes down hard, and Beast drops down for a cover.]

DT: There's the cover by the challenger off the boot! Could be it - No, Sands kicks out at two!

MN: Could be it... yeah right! It was a big boot, not an Absolution!

[Roughly, Beast pulls Sands to his feet and whips him into the ropes. The challenger throws a clothesline, but Sands ducks and spins to come up behind Beast. He stuns Beast with a forearm to the kidneys, then takes him to the canvas with a hard neckbreaker!]

DT: Oh, neckbreaker by Sands! Cover - Two - Kickout by the challenger!

MN: Looks like the momentum shifted.

DT: So it seems.

[Not allowing Beast to recover, Sands slugs the bigger man in the face several times. Beast fights to his feet, but Sands connects with a jawbreaker. Stunned, Beast stumbles towards the ropes, only for Sands to grab him in a rear waistlock and heave him up and over with a huge German suplex!]

DT: OH! There's a German suplex by Sands, as he's taken control of this match!

MN: Good!

[Rubbing his neck, Beast comes to his feet, only to meet a boot to the gut from Sands. The champion goes for an Irish whip, but Beast reverses, sending Sands into the corner. Steaming in, Beast clocks Sands with a running clothesline, then whips him across the ring into the other corner. Again Beast steams in, but this time Sands gets a boot up to catch Beast in the face. As Beast stumbles, Sands grabs him and drives him to the mat with a bulldog.]

DT: Bulldogging headlock there by Sands, capitalizing on the blocked charge by Beast.

MN: Just call it a bulldog, Professor!

DT: I said bulldogging headlock. It's the same thing.

MN: BULLDOG!

[Beast shakes himself off and comes to his feet. Sands, however, is already on him. He grabs a handful of Beast's hair, the other hand gripping the big man's trunks; from there, he launches Beast face-first into the cage wall!]

DT: OH! BEAST LAUNCHED INTO THE STEEL!!!

MN: YES!

DT: That cage is a deadly weapon, and Sands realizes that!

MN: And it's ALLLLL LEGAL, BABY!!!

[The impact of steel on face dazes Beast. He reels on the mat for a moment, but not for long; Sands drags him off the mat and goes to slam the big man's face into the cage. Beast gets his arms up and blocks it. Gritting his teeth, Sands tries again to no avail. As Sands makes a third attempt, Beast elbows him in the gut, then grabs him and shoves him into the cage!]

DT: BEAST BLOCKS IT! SANDS EATS STEEL!

MN: NO! STOP THE MATCH!

[Sands reels back from the cage, stunned. Quickly, Beast grabs him and slams his opponent's face into the cage wall repeatedly! Grabbing Sands by the hair, the challenger grates the champion's face across the steel mesh!]

DT: OH! BEAST USING THAT CAGE LIKE A CHEESE GRATER!!!

MN: DQ!!! DQ!!!

DT: There are no DQs! It's all legal!

[After a moment of grating, Beast grabs Sands and launches him into the center of the ring with a rough toss. Sands lands on his back, blood dripping down his forehead.]

DT: And Sands has been gouged right open by that unforgiving steel!

MN: Boo! Hiss!

[Grimly, Beast moves in and slaps a headlock on Sands. From there he begins hammering away at Sands' face, specifically targeting the cut opened up by the cell. After a few punches, Sands braces himself and heaves Beast off the mat, drilling him with a huge back suplex!]

DT: Beast working that wound there - NO, Sands with a BIG back suplex to take Beast down!

MN: Good! Now break his neck!

[Sands pauses for a moment to wipe a trickle of blood from his right eye. He grabs Beast and stuns the big man with a knee to the gut, hooking him up and slamming him with a gutwrench suplex. As Beast recovers, Sands smirks, then waistlocks him and throws him into the cage with a belly-to-belly suplex!]

DT: MY GOD!!! BELLY-TO-BELLY INTO THE CAGE, AND BEAST CRASHES AGAINST THE STEEL!!!

MN: YES!!! HE'S DEAD!!!

DT: WHAT A SICK MOVE!!!

[CROWD: "Ho-ly sh*t! Ho-ly sh*t!"]

[Limply, Beast falls from the cage wall. Sands quickly rolls him over and pins him.]

DT: The cover! It's gotta be over!

One!

TWO!

...TWO AND A HALF! Beast kicks out!

MN: Gah! I hate it when he's all resilient!

[Grabbing a handful of Beast's hair, Sands drags him to his feet, then knees him in the gut to stun him. From there Sands hits the ropes and brings Beast down with a rolling neck snap. As a dazed Beast teeters to his feet, Sands grabs him and wheels him into the cage headfirst!]

DT: And Beast gets sent into the cage now!

MN: YES! How's THAT for the Beast's Lair, huh?!

[As Beast falls from the cage wall with a cut opened in his forehead, Sands advances on him, kicking him hard in the ribs to force him to the mat. Sands immediately starts stomping away at the big man's head, working the heel of his boot across Beast's cut, opening it further and smearing blood across the head of the challenger.]

DT: DAMMIT, Sands is taking his boot to Beast's cut-open forehead!

MN: My dawg! That's how to roll!

[Beast edges himself into a corner, but Sands follows and continues to stomp him. After a few more boots the champion crosses the ring, then sprints back towards the corner and drops to the canvas to clock Beast with a huge baseball slide to the jaw!]

DT: OH! Sands turns Beast's lights out with that HUGE sliding dropkick!

MN: He's gonna be feeling THAT when he wakes up!

[Grabbing Beast under the armpits, Sands pulls him up and props him in the corner. From there the champion chops viciously at Beast's chest, drawing boos from the fans.]

DT: Sands going to the chopping block here, trying to wear Beast down bit by bit!

MN: NOBODY chops like Sands, man! Can you HEAR those things?! They're like BULLETS!

[After a few more chops, Sands grabs ahold of Beast's arms and whips him across the ring. Beast hits the opposite corner hard and bounces out backwards. Sands runs the ropes and rushes Beast, but the big man recovers and nearly beheads his rival with a massive boot to the face!]

DT: Sands to the ropes - BEAST DECKS HIM WITH A BOOT!!!

MN: That thing's like a size sixteen! I wouldn't want that in MY face!

DT: When you get booted by a guy like Beast, it's not easy to get up!

[Holding his bloody face, Sands comes to his feet, but Beast clotheslines him down to a big pop. Again Sands pops up, only for Beast to clothesline him a second time. The champion rolls to his feet a third time, and Beast whips him into the ropes, then sweeps him up and LAMBASTES him with a monstrous spinebuster that causes the cage to shake!]

DT: WOW, A HUGE SPINEBUSTER BY BEAST!!! The cover!

One!

TWO!

...NO! Sands kicked out!

MN: Someone check for a hole in the canvas!

[Slowly, Beast pulls a limp Sands off the mat. He forces his rival down into a standing headscissors, hooking one of his arms as the crowd roars!]

DT: WE COULD SEE AN ABSOLUTION HERE!!!

[Or not. Sands suddenly pulls out Beast's legs, taking him to the canvas onto his back. From there, Sands takes ahold of Beast's legs and backs towards a corner, then falls back to catapult Beast into it. However, Beast gets his hands out and grabs the ropes to block it. Sands doesn't notice. He smirkingly turns to attack - and eats a kick to the gut by Beast, who rapidly underhooks Sands' arms and DRILLS him with the Absolution!]

DT: Catapult - wait, blocked - YES!!! ABSOLUTION!!! ABSOLUTION!!! THIS COULD BE OVER!!!

MN: NO!!!

DT: BEAST COVERS!!!

ONE!!!


TWO!!



THREE!!!

DT: NO!!! NO!!! IT'S NOT OVER!!! SANDS GOT THE SHOULDER UP!!!

MN: YES!!! YES!!!

[Beast doesn't seem too surprised. He kicks Sands a few times, then crosses the ring and begins to climb the cage. However, he stops and looks back at the recovering champion. Indecision wracks Beast's face for a moment.]

DT: Beast beginning to climb - wait a minute... he's stopping... I think he doesn't know whether to try to climb out or to continue the fight!

[As Sands comes to one knee, Beast smiles evilly and hops down from the cage.]

DT: HE'S GONNA CONTINUE!!! He almost tried to escape, but I think he wants to prove that he can pin Sands or make him submit!

MN: As IF!

DT: Don't doubt Beast's abilities - He's a tremendous athlete with a big heart!

[Drawing back his fist, Beast pulls Sands to his feet. However, Sands sees an opening and takes it. He jabs his thumb into Beast's eyes. Beast stumbles back hard, and Sands promptly DDTs him.]

DT: OH! Sands goes to the eyes and connects with the big DDT!

MN: Come on, Burgerman. Are you blind? Sands popped him in the NOSE.

DT: I know an eye shot when I see one!

[Holding his head, Beast stumbles off the mat, using the cage to support himself. This proves to be a mistake, as Sands grabs him from behind and smashes the big man's face off the steel. Beast keels backwards, but Sands grabs him in mid-fall and slams him onto his head with a brutal half-nelson suplex!]

DT: What a half-nelson suplex from the World Champion, as he's taken control of this match!

MN: Now Beast's bleeding too!

DT: Both men are busted open inside the cage!

[Sands looks down at Beast through the blood flowing down his face, smirking evilly. He balls his fist and pounds on the cuts in Beast's forehead, splashing blood all over. Beast eventually gets his hands up to block the punches, at which point Sands drops a knee onto Beast's forehead, then applies a grounded dragon sleeper.]

DT: Cage or no cage, Sands is going back to what got him to the dance - his mastery of submissions!

MN: He uses that grounded sleeper a lot, doesn't he?

DT: It's one of his favorite submissions, and right now it's cutting off the flow of blood to Beast's brain, wearing him down!

MN: Beast could pass out!

DT: Or not! Beast fighting to his feet!

[With a loud roar, Beast heaves himself off the mat as the crowd goes berserk. He starts throwing elbows into Sands' ribs. However, the Barrie native slugs Beast in the back of the head, then hooks him up and drops him with his patented cobra clutch bomb!]

DT: WAIT!!! THE SAND BLASTER!!! SANDS HITS THE BLASTER!!! IT COULD BE OVER!!!

ONE!!!


TWO!



THREEEEEEEE!!!

...NO!!! SOMEHOW, SOME WAY, BEAST KICKED OUT AT THE LAST SECOND!!!

MN: SLOW COUNT!!! SLOW COUNT!!!

DT: No way! Beast kicked out fair and square!

[A frustrated Sands punches Beast in the mouth, then turns and begins climbing up the side of the cage. Beast begins to slowly recover, but Sands ignores him.]

DT: Sands trying to take the easy way out! He's not going to risk letting Beast pin him!

MN: Easy way out?! Shut up! It's a legitimate way to win!

DT: If he were a real champion he'd get back down there and pin Beast himself!

[As Sands drags himself up onto the cage rim, Beast comes to his feet and grabs Sands by the foot. Sands manages to shake Beast loose, but the big man regains his footing. Looking skyward for a moment, Sands then looks down and dives towards Beast with a flying cross body!]

DT: SANDS WITH A CROSSBODY OFF THE TOP - NO!!! BEAST CATCHES HIM!!! BRINGS HIM OVER!!! FALLAWAY SLAM BY THE CHALLENGER!!!

MN: NO!!! THAT'S WRONG!!!

DT: BEAST WITH THE COVER!!! IT'S OVER!!!

ONE!!!

TWO!!!

...NOOOO!!! SANDS KICKED OUT!!!

MN: Whew! That was TOO close!

DT: Sands is definitely in trouble, as Beast's again in control of the match!

[Pulling a limp Sands off the mat, Beast stares intensely at him, then slams his fist into the face of his enemy. Sands falls backwards into the corner, where Beast clotheslines him. As Sands stumbles out into the center of the ring, Beast knees him in the gut, then sets him up for an Absolution!]

DT: ABSOLUTION COMING!!!

[Or not. Sands grabs Beast's legs and pulls them out from under him, flipping the big man over quickly. He then pounces and snaps Beast into the Sandman's Clutch!]

DT: WAIT!!! SANDMAN'S CLUTCH!!! THIS IS THE HOLD THAT DEFEATED BEAST LAST TIME!!!

MN: OHHHH YESSSSS, I LOVE IT!!! I LOVE IT SO MUCH!!!

DT: YOU CAN SEE THE PAIN IN BEAST'S EYES!!! HE'S FIGHTING TO BREAK THE HOLD!!!

MN: As IF! NOBODY escapes the Clutch!

DT: Beast fighting it! Rocking back and forth in the hold to TRY and shake Sands loose!

MN: With no success at all! MWEEHEEHEE!

DT: Beast's struggling - but his arm's beginning to go limp! The hold's cutting off the blood to his head! I think he's unconscious!

MN: There's the ref!

DT: The official raises Beast's arm - FALLS ONCE!!!

MN: Two more times, baby!

DT: Raising the arm again - TWO!

MN: THIS CLOSE!

DT: One more time - NO!!! BEAST KEEPS THE ARM UP!!! THE ADRENALINE IS FLOWING!!!

[His eyes burning with intensity, Beast surges to his feet with Sands on his shoulder. The big man spins rapidly and launches Sands to the mat with a modified airplane spin, sending the champion caroming into a corner. Beast quickly follows him in and stomps a mudhole in him, working over the cut on Sands' forehead with his foot!]

DT: BEAST IS ON FIRE!!! STOMPING AWAY AT SANDS!!! HE'S NOT RELENTING ONE BIT!!!

MN: BAD BEAST!!! BAD!!!

[Roughly hauling Sands out of the corner, Beast wheels him across the ring, bouncing him off the opposite turnbuckles. As Sands stumbles out backwards, Beast snaps him into an inverted facelock, hitting an inverted swinging neckbreaker!]

DT: TEST OF FAITH!!! BEAST HITS THE TEST OF FAITH!!! COVER!!

ONE!!!

TWO!!!

THREE - NO!!! SANDS KICKS OUT!!!

MN: YES!!!

DT: WAIT!!! Beast pulling Sands up again - SETTING HIM UP FOR THE ABSOLUTION!!!

[Again, it's not to be. Sands pushes against Beast's legs, backing him into a corner, then drives several shoulders into the bigger man's gut. Grabbing a stunned Beast by the head, Sands drags him out of the corner with a stiff Diamond Cutter!]

DT: DIAMOND CUTTER by Sands! Cover!

One!

TWO!

NO! Beast kicks out!

MN: MAN! Beast IS a beast! What's it gonna take to put him away?!

DT: Wait - SANDS REAPPLIES THE SANDMAN'S CLUTCH, AND HE'S FURIOUS!!!

MN: HE'S CHOKING BEAST OUT!!!

DT: BEAST IS FIGHTING IT!!!

MN: SANDS IS STILL CHOKING HIM THE HELL OUT!!!

DT: BEAST WILL NOT GIVE IN!!! HE ROLLS OVER!!! THE HOLD IS BROKEN AND SANDS IS GOING NUTS!!!

[As Beast breaks the hold, Sands shoots to his feet, screaming in rage. He pounds on the ropes furiously, then jumps on Beast and starts punching insanely at his face, his eyes blazing with frustration. The referee tries to restrain him, but Sands grabs him by the collar and screams at him.]

DT: Christian Sands has gone completely NUTS! He hasn't been able to put Beast down for the count, and it's driving him completely insane!

MN: Well, he wouldn't BE so mad if Beast would just stay down already!

[Pushing the ref out of the way, Sands starts stomping furiously at Beast, backing him into a corner. Unrelenting, Sands continues to stomp at him, then stoops, getting in Beast's face and screaming profanities at him.]

DT: Sands getting in Beast's face - AND BEAST SLAPS HIM ACROSS THE MOUTH!!!

MN: DQ!!! DQ!!!

[Stunned by the blow, Sands takes a few steps backwards, holding his jaw. With a little help from the ropes, Beast gets up and wipes blood from his eyes. With an insane yell, Sands lunges at Beast, but meets a kick to the gut. Stuffing his rival into a standing headscissors, Beast hooks Sands' arms and delivers the Absolution!]

DT: YES!!! ABSOLUTION!!! ABSOLUTION CONNECTS!!!

MN: NO!!!

DT: COVER!!!

ONE!!!



TWO!!!



THREEEEEEEE - NO! SHOULDER UP BY SANDS!!!

MN: YESSS!!!

DT: Wait! Beast pulling Sands up again - ANOTHER ABSOLUTION!!! SANDS GOT DRILLED!!! COVER!!!

ONE!!!



TWO!!!



THREEEEEE!!!

...NO!!! SANDS KICKED OUT AGAIN!!!

MN: JUST GIVE UP, BEAST!!!

DT: BEAST NOT GIVING UP!!! HE PULLS SANDS UP AGAIN!!! Points to the sky! This crowd is going nuts!

MN: NO!!!

DT: YES!!! A THIRD ABSOLUTION CONNECTS!!! COVER!!!

ONE!!!




TWO!!!





THREEEEEEEEEEE!!!

MN: NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

DT: YES!!! YES!!! IT'S OVER!!! BEAST WINS!!! BEAST IS THE NEW HEAVYWEIGHT!!! CHAMPION!!! OF THE WORLD!!!

[The cage door is unlocked, and the timekeeper hands the EPW World Heavyweight Championship into the ring, where referee Pat Jones presents it to Beast. The big man takes the title and cradles it to his face, holding it like a loved one.]

TONY FATORA: Here is your winner... and the NEEEEEEEEEEEEEW EMPIRE PRO WRESTLING HEAVYWEIGHT CHAM-PION OF THE WORRRLLLD... BEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAASSSSSSSSSST!!!

DT: The dream has come to fruition! What an incredible night! Beast has done it! He overcame all the odds and FINALLY became World Champion right here tonight in the Georgia Dome!

MN: *crying*

[Confetti rains from the ceiling as the crowd blows the roof off the Georgia dome, thousands upon thousands chanting "BEAST BEAST BEAST" in unison. His face triumphant through the blood running down it, Beast holds the World Title high, letting forth a triumphant roar.]

DT: This place is going crazy! These people wanted to see Beast win the title, and by God they got their wish!

MN: I didn't! *sob*

[Slipping in through the now-open cage door, Lindsay Troy enters the cage, passing a wild-eyed Christian Sands at ringside. Beast and Troy exchange happy looks, then hug each other and exchange a passionate kiss.]

DT: And Beast getting the hero's reward here tonight - a kiss from the fair maiden!

[As Troy and Beast kiss, Sands reaches into the crowd and slides a chair into the cage. Neither Beast or Troy notice it, though it brushes Troy's foot.]

DT: Sands sliding a chair into the ring, but he's making no move to follow - either way, the celebration here in Atlanta is tumultuous! What a night!

[Beast and Troy step into the center of the ring. Holding the title in one hand, Beast raises it high, Troy raising his other hand.]

[And with a sudden motion, Lindsay Troy releases Beast's hand, grabs the chair, and smashes it over his head.]

DT: WHAT THE HELL?!?! LINDSAY TROY JUST DECKED BEAST WITH THE STEEL CHAIR!!!

MN: WHAT THE- YES!!! YES!!!

[The look on Beast's face is one of utter shock and betrayal as he crumples to the mat, his moment of glory stolen from him. Smirking, Troy lifts the chair and brings it down onto Beast twice more, then a third time across his arm!]

DT: DAMMIT, DAMMIT, DAMMIT!!! THAT DAMN JEZEBEL LINDSAY TROY JUST BETRAYED BEAST!!! WHAT THE HELL IS THE MEANING OF THIS?!?!

MN: I don't know, but Troy just got TEN TIMES HOTTER!!! NAUGHTY girl!

[After another chairshot to Beast's arm, Troy tosses the chair aside. A sultry smirk on her face, she nudges Beast's head with the toe of her boot, then steps out of the ring, leaving the prone form of the new World's Champion lying with his title.]

[Waiting for her at ringside is a still-bloody Christian Sands. The two exchange long looks... then clasp hands in a slow handshake.]

[The camera holds on the handshake between Troy and Sands as we fade to credits. Just before we fade to black, the shot shifts to Beast, staring dull-eyed at the roof of the arena, the World Title clutched in his hand and an expression of shock still etched across his face...]

 

[DBrunkGXW]

DVD SEGMENT SPECIAL: Beast faces final hurdle to get a rematch for the World Title

[CUT TO: Dan Ryan, sitting in front of an EPW backdrop]

RYAN: This segment is from the series of shows where I was putting Beast through hell in order to get his rematch for the title he lost not long before this to Lindsay Troy. The idea here was that I was trying to turn him to the dark side so to speak, and stop insisting on fighting fairly to win his matches. Under the guise of trying to make him better, I put him through a series of tests, eventually revealed to be little more than my screwing with his head just because I wanted to. Still, this was the culmination where Beast finally gets what he wants – an unannounced rare match with Dan Ryan on an EPW show for his shot at the World Title.

[CUE UP: "Zero" - Smashing Pumpkins. Boos ripple through the crowds as a sport coat-clad Dan Ryan stalks slowly out onto the ramp, mic in hand. He pauses to look out at the audience before brushing them off with a shrug, making his way to the ring at his typical steady, purposeful pace.]

DT: Here we go again!! Here comes the owner of the company, Dan Ryan! You have to wonder, guys, exactly what this man has in store for Beast tonight after what transpired earlier.

DM: Ryan has put Beast through absolute hell and even forced him to put his girlfriend through a table earlier, Dave Thomas. This guy does NOT want Beast to succeed until he can meet his exceedingly high standards, and he'll go to any lengths to make sure that Beast becomes the wrestler DAN RYAN wants him to be before he lets him get anywhere.

MN: And rightfully so! I've been saying all along that Big Loafy sucks!

DT: That's a former World Champion you're talking about, Mike.

MN: Oh, come on, everyone knows Lindsay Troy was the only reason Beast was ever successful. As soon as she turned and ran off with Sands and Melton her stupid blonde loafy buddy here fell flat.

DT: Now that's just not true!

DM: Guys, shut up, let the man speak.

[Having made his way to the ring, Ryan raises his microphone.]

RYAN: Beast, Beast, Beast... chop chop, son, I ain't got all day. you have ten minutes... no... make that TEN SECONDS... to get down to this ring.

[The crowd starts to count. "ONE!" "TWO!" "THREE!" "FOUR!" "FI-" --Cue up: "Figure You Out" - Nickelback. The crowd's reaction is loud, mixed, but leaning positive as Beast pushes the curtain aside with a rough sweep of his arm, stalking down to the ring in his wrestling gear. He boosts over the ropes and approaches Ryan, who holds up a hand.]

RYAN: Ah-ah-aht! Easy there, killer.

[Beast glares daggers at Ryan, but takes a slow step back and says nothing. The president of EPW eyes him for a moment before speaking.]

RYAN: I told you earlier tonight that I’d give you my decision tonight, but you have one last test to pass. I’m sure you’re wondering what’s up... and I'll set your mind at ease right now. I know you're probably itching to wrestle your way to that rematch, but that's a damn shame, since there's not going to be a match for YOU tonight.

[And with that Ryan rushes forward suddenly and LEVELS Beast with a big boot to the face, drawing boos from the fans as the blond Canadian goes down! Smirking, Ryan slides slowly out of his suit coat and begins to unbutton his shirt, slipping it off and tossing it aside...]

RYAN: Mostly because nobody in their right mind would sanction the beating I'm going to be handing you. No pinfalls, no tapouts, just a straight fight, man to man. What're you waiting for, Marcus? Get your ass up and fight!

DT: MY GOD, THIS IS NOT RIGHT! Dan Ryan just LEVELED Beast and now he's THROWING OFF HIS COAT AND KICKING BEAST IN THE SIDE! I cannot BELIEVE Dan Ryan is Beast's last challenge!

DM: This could backfire on Ryan! If Beast gets that fire going again...

MN: He won't, Deano! Big Loafy chickened out after what he did to Beast- let! He won't go there again, man!

DT: Ryan tossing his shirt into the crowd now... wait, here comes the referee - RYAN JUST CLOTHESLINES HIM OUT OF THE RING, AND HE'S SHOUTING FOR NO BELL!!!

DM: This isn't a wrestling match, Dave Thomas! This is a FIGHT, plain and simple! Ryan doesn't want to wrestle Beast - he wants to legitimately beat him bloody!

DT: Ryan turning back to Beast... Beast is up, and he NAILS Ryan with a big right hand! Ryan fires back! Beast with the right hand but Ryan goes for the BOOT to the gut and whips Beast into the corner! The Ego Buster in, and THERE'S the huge shoulder check against the turnbuckles!

DM: Dan Ryan's got three hundred and fifty pounds AT LEAST behind that charge. That's going to do a HUGE number on Beast's body!

MN: It sure will! Ryan's going to PULVERIZE Big Loafy!

DT: Now the owner of the company backs up a bit - NAILS Beast across the chest with that overhand chop! One more, and he grabs Beast under the arms and BEELS him out of the corner to the mat! Ryan beckoning and shouting for Beast to get the hell up!

MN: Ooooohhhh, it's ON!

DT: Beast to his feet, and here comes Ryan with the BOOT BUT BEAST DUCKS UNDER! Ryan turns around and Beast JACKS him in the jaw with a hard right! Ryan back against the ropes, and Beast keeps punching - OH, RAKE to the eyes by Ryan!

DM: What a cheap trick by the Ego Buster!

MN: How can it be cheap? There are no rules!

DM: It's still poor sportsmanship!

DT: Holding his eyes, Beast stumbles back a few feet, and Ryan stuns him with a big fist to the gut! Grabs Beast by the hair - DRILLS Beast's face off his knee, and Beast slumps to the mat and rolls to the ropes! Ryan stomping a mudhole, and Beast rolls down to the floor!

MN: Ryan's just relentless, man. He doesn't wanna give Beast any quarter, and he's got the skills to carry the momentum as long as he pleases.

DM: Hey! I'M the technical analyst here!

MN: You're complaining about sportsmanship. We obviously can't trust YOUR analysis.

DM: Dear Mr. Objective. Ryan's going over the rope and he just AXEHANDLED your precious Big Loafy from the apron, jumping down to the floor and smacking him with both fists!

DT: Beast took that axehandle RIGHT in the head and he's down against the barricade, and Ryan's immediately over to lay in the big jabs to the skull of the former EPW Champion! Beast raising his arms to cover, but Ryan just brushes past and punches away!

DM: Ryan is just breaking Beast down with the precision of a machine, Dave Thomas. Those punches could probably level a buffalo!

DT: Now Ryan grabs Beast by the arm... grabs and whips him towards the ringstairs but Beast REVERSES AND SENDS RYAN TUMBLING INTO THE STEEL!!! Did you HEAR the CRASH as Ryan connected!

MN: OW! Dammit!

DM: What a lucky break for Beast!

DT: Ryan slowly coming to his feet, but Beast rushes in and CUFFS him right in the jaw with a right! Now a left! And another right! Beast is pounding on Dan Ryan with those meaty fists and he is NOT letting up!

MN: No! C'mon, boss, fight him off!

DT: Beast now, grabbing ahold of Ryan's shoulders... turns and SLAMS him against the ring barricade! Just LAYING IN THOSE RIGHT HANDS like a man posSESSED! Beast has LOST IT, and he is NOT going to let Dan Ryan walk out of here without taking a firm beating!

DM: Look at his FACE! Beast is ENRAGED! Dan Ryan put this man through hell and he wants to pay him back in SPADES, Dave Thomas!

DT: Now Beast taking Ryan by the hair... pulls him over and SLAMS HIS FACE AGAINST THE STEEL POST! Ryan falls to the ground... wait, what's Beast doing - My GOD, he's got a steel chair!

MN: Yes! YES! DO IT, LOAFY! GIVE IN TO THE DARK SIDE!

DT: Beast's hesitant... he looks at the chair... looks at Ryan...

DM: Don't do it, Beast!

MN: Do it! DO IT!!

DT: Looks at the chair - AND RYAN GETS A LEG UP AND KICKS THE CHAIR INTO BEAST'S FACE!!!

DM/MN: Ohhhhh!

DT: Beast STAGGERS against the apron and slumps over! Ryan picks up the fallen chair - tapping the side of his head now! You can hear him talking to Beast!

[RYAN: I'm not hesitating!]

***CRACK***

DT: RYAN NAILS BEAST IN THE SKULL WITH THE STEEL CHAIR AND BEAST DROPS TO THE FLOOR ON HIS SIDE! Look at Dan Ryan SMIRKING as he DRIVES the edge of that chair down into Beast's lower back! Again! Again! Beast rolls onto his back to try and block but Ryan RAMS the chair into his gut!

DM: Dan Ryan is NOT a man you want to be on the bad end of a chairshot from. He's incredibly strong and precise, and he will tear you apart with a weapon in his hands!

MN: He's just going OFF!

DT: Ryan now grabs the chair and SLAMS the flat side into Beast's back, and Beast SCREAMS and goes down! Ryan tosses the chair aside and kicks him in the head, smirking and challenging him to get up!

MN: Stay down, Loafy! You're beat!

DM: Beast isn't going to get up after all of this! Ryan just beat the HELL out of him with that chair!

DT: You can see the smug look on Dan Ryan's face! What a sick human being the owner of this company is! Now he's going to the corner... My GOD he's pulling the stairs apart! Sets up the bottom portion near the ramp... grabs Beast... Standing HEADSCISSORS AND THIS HAS JUST GONE ENTIRELY TOO FAR BECAUSE DAN RYAN IS SIGNALING FOR THE HUMILITY BOMB!!!

MN: ON THE STEEL STAIRS?!?!

DM: DON'T DO IT, DAN!!!

DT: RYAN GRABS BEAST ABOUT THE MIDSECTION AND LIFTS - BEAST UP - WAIT BEAST DROPS TO HIS FEET AS HE COMES UP AND HOOKS RYAN BY THE HEAD - OHHHHHMYGOD DDT!!! DDT!!! BEAST JUST DDT'D DAN RYAN RIGHT INTO THE UNFORGIVING STEEL AND DAMMIT DAN RYAN HAS GOT TO BE DEAD!!!

DM: HOLY SH[beep]!!!

MN: HOLY-

DT: RYAN ROLLS TO THE FLOOR AND HE IS NOT MOVING! Beast looks down at him... sniffs... There's blood running from Dan Ryan's nose! Beast gives him a kick - AND HE SPITS IN THE FACE OF THE OWNER OF EMPIRE PRO WRESTLING!!

MN: FIRE HIM! FIRE HIM!

DT: I think Dan Ryan might be out cold! Beast turns and starts to walk up the ramp...

DM: --WHAT THE HELL?!

DT: --Ryan just got UP! He's not very steady, but he's mobile... he GRABS THE STAIRS in both hands! Beast doesn't see him!

MN: He's rearing back!

DT: Rearing back - RYAN HURLS THE STAIRS LIKE A GIANT DISCUS AND THEY SMASH BEAST IN THE BACK AND KNOCK HIM TO THE GROUND!!!

MN: AAAAH!!! WHAT A MOVE!!!

DM: OH MY GOD! Beast's lucky the corner didn't hit him in the back! He could've been paralyzed!

DT: Beast is DOWN! He's collapsed on the ramp under the stairs and he is NOT moving! Ryan slow to approach him, and he picks up Beast and drags him up the ramp to the stage! ...Oh GOD, he's looking down at the equipment below!

MN: No WAY!

DM: GOD! Don't tell me he's going to throw Beast off!

DT: Ryan getting ready to press Beast over his HEAD - NO, BEAST DROPS OUT BEHIND HIM and clubs him in the back! Ryan's teetering DANGEROUSLY CLOSE TO THE EDGE - but Beast steps BACK!

DM: He's not gonna push him?!

MN: COME ON, LOAFY! I thought you were hardcore!

DT: He keeps ahold of Ryan's arm... Beast with the Irish WHIP AND HE SLAMS DAN RYAN FACE-FIRST INTO THE STEEL OF THE SET! RYAN COLLAPSES TO THE STAGE AND THE OWNER OF THE COMPANY IS BLEEDING FROM THE FOREHEAD!!!

MN: Aah! First blood!

DT: Beast's moving slowly as he approaches Dan Ryan again... he took a BEATING, but he's still up! Looks down at the recovering Ryan... looks at the small display screen to his right... JAMS his foot into Ryan's gut!

DM: I don't like the look on Beast's face! He's planning something!

DT: Now the Canadian GRABS Dan Ryan - Steps to his RIGHT - MY GOD THE BELLY-TO-BELLY SUPLEX INTO THE SMALL SCREEN!!!

MN: THANK GOD IT DIDN'T BREAK! Ryan hit the glass but it didn't crack all the way thr-oh no.

DT: Oh God, Beast picks up Ryan again and MY GOD BELLY TO BELLY AND RYAN SMASHES RIGHT THROUGH THE DAMN SCREEN AND THERE ARE SPARKS AND BROKEN GLASS FLYING EVERYWHERE!!! MY GOD HE'S BROKEN IN HALF!!!

DM: AND LOOK AT BEAST'S FACE! He's standing there staring at Ryan - and he's FURIOUS!

MN: Uh oh. That's the Beast-Let Look!

DT: Beast is INCENSED at this man! Something has awakened inside the former World Champion! Now he reaches into the wreckage and follows after a bleeding, stirring Ryan - picks him up and THROWS him through the curtain behind the set! He's just chucked Dan Ryan into the storage room behind the stage, and he's going in after him!

DM: Well, no rules.

DT: Here comes Beast now - lifts Ryan off the ground and SLAMS him bodily into a brick wall! Does it again! Grabs Ryan under the shoulders - WHEELS HIM DOWN TO THE FLOOR SEVERAL FEET AWAY, and did you HEAR Beast's furious shout?!

MN: That man is just LOSING it!

DM: What's HAPPENEd to him, anyway?! I think Dan Ryan may have bitten off more than he can chew!

DT: An ENRAGED Beast shouting something incoherent at Ryan - now advances on him and pulls him off the floor... Hooks the head... BRINGS HIM UP AND VERTICAL SUPLEXES THE OWNER OF THE COMPANY TO THE CONCRETE!!!

MN: OUCH!

DT: Pulling him up again... Beast hooks the head one more time... Ryan struggling but Beast CLUBS him in the back - NO, RYAN SURGES FORWARD AND SLAMS BEAST INTO THE WALL, AND HE'S HAMMERING AT THE BIG MAN'S RIBS WITH RIGHTS AND LEFTS - NO, Beast shuts him down with an axehandle to the back, and Ryan is on his hands and knees!

DM: It looked like Dan Ryan could've been back in this thing, but Beast just cut him the hell OFF!

DT: Beast doesn't waste any time - BOOT to the head of Dan Ryan, and the owner of the company is just GUSHING blood from that open wound to the forehead! Beast looks down at him and just BECKONS for him to get up!

MN: Do it, Dan! Kick his ass!

DM: I think Ryan might be spent.

DT: Ryan not moving... Beast smirks, then moves to pull Ryan into a standing headscissors... We could see the Absolution on the CONCRETE here!

DM: NO!

DT: Beast HOOKS THE ARMS -- AND THEN HIS EYES BULGE OUT IN PAIN AS RYAN JERKS THE BACK OF HIS HEAD UP AND SLAMS IT INTO BEAST'S GENITALS!!!

MN: YES!!!

DM: WHAT A DIRTY TRICK! Ryan resorted to a headbutt to the stones to get out of the Absolution!

MN: Does this mean Big Loafy just got head?! HAHA!

DT: Beast is CLUTCHING HIS GROIN AND GROANING IN PAIN as he slumps back against the wall! A bloodied Ryan comes to his feet... kick to the gut of Beast! Ryan grabs him by the hair and starts SLAMMING BEAST'S SKULL INTO THE WALL OVER AND OVER, AND NOW BEAST HAS BEEN BUSTED OPEN!!!

DM: There is absolutely no sportsmanship in this fight, Dave Thomas! Dan Ryan and Beast are just MURDERING each other without remorse or regret!

DT: Listen to the sickening thud of Beast's skull off the wall! Ryan bashes a few more times - jerks Beast back by the hair -

[RYAN: You've got nothin'! You've got nothin'!]

DT: Some harsh words from the owner of the company - now, oh dear LORD HE PRESSES BEAST OVER HIS HEAD AND SLAMS HIM INTO A PILE OF CRATES!!! BEAST IS LYING MOTIONLESS IN THE DEBRIS AND IT LOOKS LIKE THOSE BROKEN BOXES CUT HIM UP EVEN MORE!!!

MN: YEAH! Ryan's cooking his goose! I KNEW we'd be having roast Beast for dinner tonight!

DM: Ryan's back in control and I don't think he's going to let up!

DT: Beast not moving at all but that doesn't stop Ryan - he grabs ahold of a set lamp and knocks the fixture off, leaving him with a metal pole! Beast stirring a bit... sits up... RYAN SLAMS THE POLE OVER BEAST'S HEAD AND BEAST IS DOWN AGAIN!!!

DM: Look at how dirty the owner of the company is fighting! He's kicking Beast while he's down - doesn't want to give him the chance to take the momentum again!

DT: The smug look on Dan Ryan's bloodied face says all that needs to be said as he leans over Beast and grins, grabbing a handful of the other man's hair and pulling him up to a sitting position...

[RYAN: C'mon, tough guy, gonna get up? Nah, you don't got the guts!]

DT: OH, a HUGE slap across the face of Beast with the back of Dan Ryan's right hand, and Beast looks out of it!

[RYAN: Yeah, that's what I thought!]

DT: And ANOTHER backhand! Beast's eyes are glazed almost completely over!

DM: He's had his brains bashed against a wall, he's been chucked into a box, kicked in the crotch, hit with a metal pole... his head has got to be a MESS right now.

[RYAN: I knew all along you had nothing, Marcus. I just went and proved it. And you think you deserve a title shot like this?]

[BEAST: ...]

DT: Ryan with another backha- BEAST GRABS DAN RYAN'S WRIST -- BEAST JUST BIT DAN RYAN'S HAND AS HARD AS HE CAN, AND RYAN SHRIEKS IN PAIN AND JERKS AWAY!!!

DM: BEAST, BITING?!?!

MN: NO WAY!!!

DT: Ryan gripping his hand in pain - Beast trying to get up - Ryan advances - BEAST DRIVES THE HEEL OF HIS BOOT RIGHT BETWEEN RYAN'S LEGS AND NOW DAN RYAN FALLS TO THE FLOOR SCREAMING!!!

DM: Beast has FINALLY LOST IT! Look -- LOOK at him! He's FURIOUS, he's ENRAGED, and there is MURDER written in that man's face!

MN: Oh... oh SNAP.

DT: I think you're right, Dean! The Beast has been unleashed and he is not going to stop until Dan Ryan cannot move a muscle! Beast pulls to his feet with blood running down his face, and he GRABS Ryan by the neck and pulls him to his feet! SLAMS him into a wall - now grabs the metal pole Ryan dropped! SMASHES IT INTO THE RIBS OF RYAN! RYAN KEELS OVER AND BEAST JUST STARTS BASHING HIM WITH IT IN A BLIND FURY, DROPPING HIM TO THE GROUND IN A HEAP!!!

MN: There's absolutely NO sanity in that attack - Beast has completely flipped!

DT: Beast with a few more pole shots, and he discards the weapon! Now cradling Ryan by the head! Pulls him up and SLAMS him face-first into the inner wall of the set!

DM: That's a LOT of steel for one man to eat!

MN: Come on, boss! You can come back!

DT: Ryan's LIMP and completely dazed as Beast picks him up and drags him out through the hole in the set and back onto the stage! Now hooks Ryan up... GERMAN SUPLEX ONTO THE STEEL STAGE!!! RYAN HAS GOT TO BE OUT OF IT!!!

DM: Somebody call an ambulance! This is carnage!

DT: Beast's STILL not relenting! He's down on his knees and SLAMMING HIS FIST INTO RYAN'S FACE OVER AND OVER AND OVER, AND LISTEN TO HIM SCREAMING IN A BLIND FURY!!! RYAN CAN'T EVEN DEFEND HIMSELF!!!

MN: I, uh... I think this might be over... Dammit, this CAN'T be! Ryan should've won!

DM: Wait, Beast's stopped!

DT: Beast stopped -- he's looking out at the EDGE OF THE STAGE... DOWN AT DAN RYAN... HE JERKS THE OWNER TO HIS FEET!!! MY GOD, DRAGS HIM TO THE STAGE EDGE!!! POINTS DOWN TWENTY FEET BELOW!!!

DM: NO!!! DON'T DO IT!!!

MN: HE CAN'T DO THAT!!!

DT: STANDING HEADSCISSORS!!! BEAST'S SIGNALLING TO THE CROWD!!! PULLS RYAN UP - HE'S GOING TO GO FOR THE HUMILITY BOMB!!!

MN: WHAT?!?!

DM: --WAIT, RYAN'S FIGHTING IT!

DT: RYAN CLAMPS HIS LEGS AROUND BEAST'S NECK! PUNCHES HIM IN THE FACE! ANOTHER PUNCH AND BEAST FALLS BACK, AND RYAN LANDS ON THE STAGE SAFELY!!!

MN: Except now BEAST'S down... and now RYAN'S EYEING THE EDGE!

DM: Oh my God.

DT: Ryan with that gleam in his eye... Stuns Beast with a kick to the side of the head! PULLS HIM INTO A HEADSCISSORS!!! HE'S READY TO HUMILITY BOMB BEAST INTO THE EQUIPMENT TWENTY FEET BELOW THE EDGE OF THE STAGE AND THESE FANS ARE GOING CRAZY!!!

DM: NO, DAN! DON'T DO IT!!!

MN: YES!!! DO IT!!! KILL HIM!!!

DT: RYAN BOOSTS BEAST UP!!! BRINGS HIM UP!!! MY GOD -- WAIT BEAST GRABS RYAN'S HEAD UNDER THE ARM!!! HE TRIES TO COUNTER -- HE CAN'T GET IT -- THEY'RE BOTH GOING TO -- AAAAAH!!

DM: AAAAAH!!!

[**FLASHBULBS GO OFF**]

[***CRAAAAAAASSSSSH***]

DT: MY GOD!!! BEAST DRAGGED DAN RYAN DOWN BY THE HEAD WITH HIM AND BOTH MEN HAVE FALLEN TWENTY FEET INTO THE EQUIPMENT!!! SOMEBODY CALL AN AMBULANCE!!!

DM: MY GOD, THE CARNAGE!!! IF THESE MEN ARE STILL ALIVE IT'LL BE A MIRACLE FROM GOD!!!

MN: BOSS!!! BOOOOOSSSS!!!

DT: THERE'S NOT A SINGLE SIGN OF MOVEMENT FROM EITHER OF THESE TWO MEN!!!

DM: I... This is... This is just TOO much! These men pushed this TOO FAR!!!

DT: Here comes the medical team out of the back, trying to get to Beast and Ryan through the wreckage... I just... Folks, this is one of those things that tell you you should NOT try this at home! Dan Ryan and Beast could both be crippled!

MN: Twenty feet is a LONG fall, and they were beat up before they went down, too! I think they BOTH landed on their heads, too!

DM: The equipment could've broken their fall, but there's a lot of metallic stuff down there to jab into spines or necks or arms... dammit, these guys could be paralyzed if they hit it just right!

DT: Here comes Paul Freeman to try and salvage the situation...

[***CROWD POP***]

DT: --OH MY GOD, BEAST JUST GRABBED ONTO A SHATTERED SUPPORT BEAM AND IS SITTING UP! THERE'S BLOOD GUSHING FROM HIS MOUTH!

DM: He's not going to be able to move! He's bleeding inside --

MN -- RYAN'S TRYING TO GET UP TOO!!! He's bleeding just as bad, if not worse!

DT: Wait - Ryan weakly holding up a hand -- get a camera on him!

[CUTTO: Dan Ryan bleeding from the mouth, half-buried in broken equipment.]

[RYAN: ...You... you've got your... title shot.]

[***HUUUUUUGE POP***]

DT: DAN RYAN JUST FELL BACK AND PASSED OUT BUT THE MESSAGE IS CLEAR!!! BEAST HAS DONE IT!!! HE'S GOT ANOTHER SHOT AT THE WORLD TITLE!!!

DM: AMAZING!! JUST UNBELIEVABLE!!!

DT: While we get all of this cleaned up, let’s look at a little video put together for our main event!

 

[DBrunkGXW]

Beast [c] vs. Dis – Russian Roulette 2005 - World Title Match

[CUT TO: Rocko Daymon in front of an EPW backdrop.]

Daymon: The impact made between Beast vs. Dis at Russian Roulette wasn't so much that it was a tremendous match, but moreso due to the outcome. When Dis unmasked and was revealed to be Lindsay Troy... it changed the face of the industry forever. It changed all the rules and spat in the face of convention, by handing the World Heavyweight Title to a woman, who proved she could carry it as well as any man.

The Dis persona was really unique. I mean, personally... I never cared for the Masked Wrestler bit. I figure if you have a face and you don't have the balls to show it, then you've got security issues. But in the case of Lindsay Troy... she really couldn't have pulled it off WITHOUT becoming Dis. If it had been Lindsay Troy going for that title, nobody would have given her the same kind of opportunity... not to mention, I'm sure Beast would have been more familiar with his opponent. I sometimes wonder, if Troy hadn't thought up Dis and this entire scheme to rise in the ranks... if she would have made it that far. Then I wonder immediately after that what kind of industry this would have become, or if Empire Pro would have elevated itself beyond its competitors the way it did.


[Fade backstage as we see Dan Ryan sitting in a large office chair behind a larger oak desk.]

[SFX: A knock on the door]

Ryan: Come in!

[We hear a pop from the crowd as Empire Pro World Champion Beast walks into the picture, a distrusting scowl on his face.]

Beast: Whattya want, Ryan?

[Ryan smiles and stands to his feet, circles and makes his way around to the same side of the desk as his champion, but still a safe distance as Beast remains but a few feet inside the room.]

Ryan: Well….I’ve come to some conclusions Marcus. Quite honestly, we’ve come down to what we in the business like to call….go time. You’ve made it clear that you want to play it your way despite my continued attempts to make you great. So there’s really only one thing left for me to do.

Beast: Yeah? And that would be?

Ryan: You wanna be Captain America and lead the brave Beast-a-maniacs into parts unknown with you on a sea of foam fingers and good feelings? Fine. I’ll make a promise to you. I won’t be involved tonight. In fact, I won’t be anywhere near the ring or do anything whatsoever to affect the outcome of this match once you leave this room.

[Beast allows a smirk to play across his lips when suddenly out of a room to the side of the room a blur flies into the shot and a large figure attacks Beast from the side. The crowd goes crazy with boos when they realize that BOOGIE SMALLZ is on top of the champion raining down lefts and rights….

Dan Ryan for his part sits back on his desk and just stares.

After a few moments of unrelenting pummeling, Smallz rises to his feet and stands next to Ryan – his chest heaving from the attack.]

Ryan: Well…. [Ryan walks over to Beast lying on the floor and stands over him]… I bet you didn’t see that one coming.

[Ryan smiles, turns, goes back to his chair and sits down – steepling his hands in amusement.]

Ryan: You see…CHAMP. This one is for all the marbles. I’ve given you every opportunity to be the sort of champion you have the ability to be. I’ve thrown you a bone in many a situation to try and allow the Beast inside to come out and play. You wanted to be a big tough guy and go it solo – so now – we’ll see how you respond when the pressure is really on – and once and for all we’ll know if you’ve got what it takes to survive in this business. Good luck out there, champ. I’ll be watching you….

[Ryan gestures to Smallz, who in turns pulls Beast to his feet, opens the door and slings him out into the hallway. Ryan smiles as we cut back to the broadcast position.]



--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

DT: Now that was absolutely uncalled for!!

MN: Remember who writes your checks, Thomas!!

DT: I don’t care who writes our checks!! Dan Ryan knows good and well that Beast has a World Title defense against Dis tonight.

DM: It’s a calculated ploy by our owner and an interesting one. He’s been trying to get Beast to be more of the kind of champion he wants representing his company, and now he’s thrown down the gauntlet. Beast is gonna have to come through in a big way tonight.



--------------------------------------------------------------------------------


MAIN EVENT
EPW World Heavyweight Championship
Beast [c] vs. Dis

[Cut to the ring and Joey Fatora in the middle]

TF: Ladies and gentlemen!!! This match is for one fall and is for the EMPIRE PRO WRESTLING WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP!!!!!!

[The crowd gets to it’s feet in anticipation as the buzz fills the arena.]

[It gets loud in a hurry as “Hallowed Be Thy Name” by Iron Maiden blares across the speakers. Dis steps through the curtain, head down and dark gloves on, stalking to the ring without giving the crowd much notice.]

TF: INTRODUCTING FIRST……FROM WISDOM, MONTANA…..WEIGHING IN AT TWO HUNDRED FIFTEEN POOOOUNDSSSS!!!....DIIIIIISSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!

[A loud mixture of boos and cheers as Dis slides under the bottom rope and waits patiently in one corner.]

[Suddenly the arena erupts in cheers as the familiar sounds of monks chanting comes over the speaker. Moments later “Figure You Out” by Nickelback comes across the sound system as Beast steps through the curtain to a deafening roar, World title hanging from one arm and a cut on his forehead from his earlier encounter with Boogie Smallz. Beast scowls up at the ring, but otherwise looks none the worse for wear.]

DT: And there’s the champion, fresh off that beating at the hands of Boogie Smallz you have to think he’s got his back against the wall, Dean!

DM: Perhaps, but the man isn’t the World Champion for nothing. He looks determined as ever right now.

[Beast approaches the ring without the usual acknowledgement of the fans and simply hands the title to the referee as the bell rings.]

DT: The crowd is on it’s feet for this one and we’re underway!!

MN: Any guesses on who this Dis guy is?

DT: I’ve heard varying rumors. Some have speculated that perhaps someone like Shane Southern could be underneath the mask, although this young man looks a lot like Troy Windham to me – and with his entourage showing up tonight it seems like the perfect fit.

DM: It could be someone totally unknown that Dan Ryan discovered as well. I’ve got my own theory on the subject but I’ll keep it under wraps for now.

DT: Dis and Beast circling each other here at the outset and you know Dis has to be thinking stay away from the power of the World Champion.

DM: Well, I don’t think he can go toe to toe with Beast in the power department but at the same time Dis has shown tremendously innovative offense throughout the tournament as well as a propensity for taking to the air when necessary.

DT: As Beast sizes up Dis we have a lockup and the bigger Beast gains quick advantage but Dis rolls him over with an arm drag that sends the champion sharply to the mat!!

DM: Beast is on a knee looking up at the crouching challenger and he’ll definitely have to watch out for the quickness…

MN: Yes, beware the sneakiness.

DT: Beast back to his feet and circling once more. They lock up and once again Beast powers Dis back and this time into the ropes. Referee Jimmy Jack Grayson calling for the clean break and we’re gonna get it as Beast releases and steps backward to the center of the ring.

MN: Always the boy scout.

DM: With Dan Ryan promising to keep his nose out of his business tonight, I’m curious to see if Beast takes some of his advice and stays on the offensive here. I have to say so far it doesn’t look like it.

DT: Dis back up to Beast and they lock up one more time, this time with Dis spinning the champion around into a hammerlock! Beast swinging elbows around but Dis is ducking down skillfully behind. Dis drops to his knees and pulls Beast’s feet out from under him dropping him onto his face! Dis crosses the legs of the champ, spins around and bridges into a submission!!!

DM: Wow, nice move….

DT: Beast now pounding at the mat and trying to work his way free but adamantly refusing to give in.

DM: Way too early for that…

MN: Loafy’s most comfortable just laying out and chillin’ anyway.

DT: Dis holding the maneuver as Beast swings his left arm back and knocks the challenger off balance breaking the hold. Beast scrambling to get to his feet but Dis catches him with a dropkick to the face before he can get much higher than one knee and the champion goes tumbling to the outside!!

DM: The champion is getting more than he bargained for early in this match. The speed of Dis is causing a real problem.

DT: Beast unhappy on the outside breaks into a run and goes to swing into the ring under the bottom rope, but Dis executes a baseball slide, sending Beast to the ground one more time!!

MN: Beast is becoming intimately familiar with Dis’ boot!

DM: Aggressive! I like it!

DT: Dis hops out of the ring and follows Beast, punching him with a big right hand. Beast stumbles back against the ring barrier, Dis presses the advantage, lifting his hand and striking the other man's chest with several stinging knife-edged chops. The fans near the barricade extend their hands and pat Beast on the shoulders, cheering and offering encouragement.

MN: Encouragement and 99 cents will get you a big and tasty at the fast food joint – or else a night of lovin’ with Miss Troy….

DT: And those brutal chops to the torso of Beast!

MN: Good! Little punk deserves it.

DT: The referee leans across the ropes and yells at the two….

Ref V/O: Hey! Get back in the ring! One! . Two!

DM: There goes the count.

DT: The ref gets up to six and Dis grabs Beast by the head and rolls him back into the ring, sliding in after him. Beast gets to his knees, only to have Dis deliver a swift kick to his midsection. The champ falls on his stomach again!!

DM: Dis is fighting smart. He's picking Beast apart, trying to exhaust his energy in the early going.

MN: He's a genius, Dean-O!

DM: I wouldn't say that.

DT: Beast gets up again, but Dis kicks him one more time, sending Beast sprawling onto his stomach. Dis immediately runs to the ropes, coming back and ascending in a big leg drop, but hits nothing but canvas as Beast rolls out of the way!!

MN: The big leg drop! The big - nobody home!

DM: Damn!

DT: Both men get to their feet, with Dis immediately moving in to go for a big right hand, but Beast counters with a right of his own!!! Right hand again!! Again!! One more big right hand pushes Dis up against the turnbuckle, where he finds himself choked by Beast. The referee runs over and calls for the break; Beast releases the hold on four!!

DM: That was a bit uncharacteristic….

MN: I didn’t know loafy had it in him.

DM: Beast's trying to make a comeback here.

MN: Come on, Dis! Show him who's boss!

DT: Dis stumbles out of the corner, directly into a Beast right hand!! Marcus lands two more right hands, then whips Dis to the ropes. The whip is reversed, but Beast comes off the ropes with a jumping clothesline that sends Dis crashing to the mat!!!

DM: Oh, a huge clothesline from Beast to Dis!!!

MN: Loafy jumped!!

DM: So?

MN: I don't know, it was cool!! Like when a walrus does a somersault at Sea World….

DT: Beast grabs Dis by the head and pulls him up! Dis tries for a right hand, but Beast kicks him in the gut before hooking him up and cracking him with a big swinging neckbreaker!!! Beast swings over to cover Dis!! The referee slides across the mat and strikes the canvas twice, but Dis manages to lift his shoulders off the mat!!!

MN: He's still in this, Thomas! Woo!

DT: Beast stands back as Dis rises to his feet. Dis slaps the mat and gets right in the champion’s face!!!

MN: Come on, Dis!

DT: Dis is staring down the champion then surges forward, but Beast slips over into a side headlock on Dis…..

DM: Well, that's a basic move.

DT: Dis manages to shove Beast out of the hold, pushing him to the ropes. Beast rebounds and ducks Dis's clothesline, but as Beast bounds from the opposite ropes, Dis kicks him right in the gut. Beast goes flipping over Dis's leg and lands behind him, on his back!!!!

DM: Ouch, running kick in the gut by Dis to Beast! That's gotta smart!

MN: Yeah! Take it to him, Dis!

DT: Dis now up….he leaps up onto the ropes, springing off into a frog splash!!! He lands smack-dab on top of Beast and immediately hooks the far leg!!!

DM: What's the - The springboard frog splash!!! The frog splash right on Beast!!!

MN: Wow!!!

DT: ONE!!! TWO…..NO!!! Beast kicks out of the pin attempt and rolls over onto one side!!! Dis wasting no time as he wrenches Beast back down to the mat in another cover attempt!!! Beast again kicks out on 2!!!

DM: Another cover and he's out again!!!

MN: Two covers in a row!

DM: Beast's expending a lot of energy trying to get out of all these covers.

DT: Dis reaches down and picks Beast up by the head, punching him across the face; he suddenly grabs the champ by the waist, sets him up, and plants him with a standing spinebuster! Looks like he had a lot of trouble getting the bigger man up with that move but Dis immediately covers again!!!! – ONE!!! TWO!!! NOOO!!! At the last second Beast thrusts a fist into the air as he wrenches his shoulders off the mat and these fans are going crazy right now!!!

DM: I didn’t think he’d get the shoulder up!

MN: How can that cocky punk kick out of a quick move like that?!

DM: He's not a damn punk!

DT: Beast slowly rolls to his knees, with Dis storming over to argue with the referee. Dis thrusts his hand in the ref's face, holding his fingers to indicate he feels it was a three count; the ref holds up two fingers!!

DM: And Dis can't believe that it wasn't a three count.

DT: Suddenly, Beast sneaks up behind Dis and rolls him up into a school boy! The suddenness of the maneuver catches the ref by surprise for about a second. The official hits the mat and begins counting. One, two. Dis kicks out!!!!

MN: Thank god! I think I just had a mild heart attack.

DT: Both men get to their feet. Dis throws a big right hand at Beast, only to be countered with the champion's right fist!! Beast punches Dis a few more times, then whips him to the ropes, meeting him on the way back with a big clothesline!!

DM: There's the Irish whip and a huge clothesline to Dis!!!

DT: Dis immediately gets up, but Beast clotheslines him again! Dis gets up a third time, but Beast punches him in the face, then swings him up into a vertical suplex position, but instead drops him into a reverse neckbreaker!

DM: Ouch!

MN: Dis! Get up!

DT: Dis rolls over onto his back, inhaling deeply…… Beast runs to the ropes and rebounds back into a leaping elbow drop. The elbow drives directly into Dis’ torso, knocking the wind out of him!! Beast covers!!! Dis out JUST before the three count!!!!

MN: Oh dear God – can you imagine big loafy keeping this thing AGAIN??

DT: If you can't say anything nice, just shut up.

MN: Hey! I can be nice.

DT: Dis getting to his feet, Beast now signaling the crowd with one hand. The fans rise to their feet and pop as Beast hooks up Dis's leg in preparation for a fisherman's DDT!!!

DM: He's hooking up the fisherman's!

MN: No!

DM: This could be the beginning of the end for our trusty challenger!

DT: Dis suddenly twists and pulls Beast into a rather exotic roll-up that somehow winds up with Beast's shoulders pinned to the mat!!! Dear God!!! The ref slides over and strikes the mat twice, but Beast manages to jerk out of the cradle at the last second!!

MN: That was a weird cradle!

DT: Again, both men rise to their feet and lock up in a grapple!! Dis with a knee and hits Beast in the gut with it!! The champ keels over, Dis kicks him in the gut, then surges forward to swing him into a belly-to-belly overhead suplex but Beast reverses and sends Dis flying!! Dis catches a lot of air and winds up a good distance across the ring!!!

DM: I dunno what he was thinking there. No way he gets Beast up for a belly to belly, especially not an overhead.

DT: Beast manages to stand with the aid of the ropes, but Dis grabs him and whips him to the opposite turnbuckle. He charges full tilt at the champ, but gets a raised boot to the face for his trouble!

DM: Whip to the buckles and Beast saves himself with a boot to the face!!

MN: Got lucky, he did!

DT: Beast lunges out of the corner with a clothesline, but Dis ducks it. As Beast turns, Dis grabs him by the arm and whips him to the ropes. However, the referee is standing right there. As Beast rebounds to the ropes, his arm catches the ref in the face, knocking the official to the canvas!!!

DM: The ref is out!!!

MN: Teaches him to get in the way!

DT: Beast comes back with a clothesline, but instead walks straight into a huge superkick by Dis!

DM: OH!! That kick connected right at the point of Beast's jaw and he went down like a SHOT!!.

MN: YES!!!

DT: Dis hooks the leg and covers Beast. but there is no ref to count! Dis keeps Beast covered for about ten seconds, then releases him and now strides over to try and wake up the referee!!

MN: COME ON REF!!!

DT: Dis shaking the referee, but Beast gets to his feet and nails Dis from behind with a huge clothesline!! Dis is sent flipping over the ropes, landing near the announce table!!! Beast follows him, executing a vaulting body press over the top rope to land on the challenger!!!!

DM: Vaulting over the top rope - Beast's chasing Dis out of the ring!

MN: Pigs can fly!! And the ref's still out, too!

DT: Beast hoists Dis to a standing position, but Dis kicks him in the stomach, then drags him over and grabs him by the hair!! With a swift motion, he ploughs Beast's face into the Spanish announce table, dislodging a monitor!!

MN: Hey, wait a damn minute! Not the Spanish announce table!

DT: Beast staggers away and winds up in a corner formed by the barricade. Dis moves in, his fists balled, but Beast gets ahold of a chair and cracks Dis in the face with it, felling the challenger like a load of lumber!

DM: Did you hear the crack of that chair as it connected with Dis's skull?!?!

[SFX: the arena gives off a collective, "Ohhhhh!"]

MN: Hey ref! Hey ref!

DT: Dis slowly rolling towards the ring apron, rolling one arm beneath it. Beast is leaning against the Spanish announce table to catch his breath, still holding the chair.

DM: I, uh, think the referee is coming to.

DT: The ref is indeed starting to come to, but Dis gets to his feet first. Beast notices it and swings the chair at Dis, but misses, and the two of them stumble - Beast landing against the ring steps, Dis landing against the barricade!!!

DM: These two tired, exhausted warriors trying to finish each other off!

MN: Wait, what's Dis doin'?

DM: My god, that's the ring bell hammer!

DT: Dis has gotten ahold of the hammer for the ring bell!! He steps forward, raising the hammer, but Beast nails him with a huge chair thrust to the ribs!! Dis is thrown backward, grazing his face across the Spanish announce table and we’re seeing some blood from the mask man!!

DM: Beast narrowly avoided a shot from the bell hammer and now just throws Dis back into the ring.

DT: Beast follows in after his and takes a moment to collect himself as he props himself against the turnbuckle. The crowd roaring now for Beast as he lets the challenger collect himself and get back to his feet.

DM: Nice show of sportsmanship there.

MN: I think I’m gonna be ill.

DT: Beast walking in now as Dis rises and OH!! A QUICK KICK TO THE GUT!!! DIS LEAPS TO A CORNER TURNBUCKLE…LEAPING OFF….DRAGON RANA!! DRAGON RANA!!! DIS HOOKS THE LEG!!!

DM: I DON’T BELIEVE IT!! WHAT A MOVE!!!

MN: YES!!!

DT: ONE!!!! TWO!!!........

DT: NO! BEAST GETS THE ARM IN THE AIR AT THE LAST SECOND WITH HIS FIST CLENCHED IN DEFIANCE, AND THIS PLACE IS ON FIRE!
MN: WHAAAT?! That was SO over!

DM: Man! Beast's been like a damn battle tank through this whole thing! What power! What resilience!

DT: Dis can't believe Beast is still in this thing, but the champion just will not give up here in Houston, Texas!

DM: He's got the heart of a champion, Dave Thomas!

DT: Dis not letting up here... grabs a handful of Beast's hair and pulls him to his feet, and there's the elbow smashes to the jaw of the champion. The Irish whip... Beast with the reversal... Dis comes off the ropes, DUCKS the big lariat from Beast! Dis coming back off the ropes, and there's the flying forearm, dropping Beast to a knee!

DM: That would've put a lesser man on his back right now. Beast's in bad shape, but he's still a rock in there.

MN: He's the Immovable Object!

DT: Here comes Dis now, hooking the head of Beast... looking for a SNAP SUPLEX... He can't quite get Beast up! Looking for a DDT instead... Beast GRABS THE TOP ROPE and Dis falls back by himself!

DM: Beast's still feeling the effects of that beating and all that punishment on the outside. He's trying to clear his head when he could've capitalized and stomped a mudhole into Dis here.

DT: Beast giving his head a good shake here - finally, gives Dis a good kick and hauls him slowly to his feet. Cradles the head... reels him in for the front facelock and PULLS him up for the suplex! Rolling slowly over for the cover!

One...

TWO...

Dis with the kickout!

MN: Sorry, Loafy! Not yet!

DT: The champion is undaunted but tired as he slowly, carefully pulls Dis up off the mat... pulls him in and sends him into the corner with the Irish whip. Charges in after him, and there's the big knee lift to the sternum!

DM: That's gonna really shake up a little guy like Dis. If Beast wants to have any chance of winning he's gonna keep throwing his weight around. He's on tough footing, but if he can keep the momentum-

DT: Wait, Beast locking the arms around Dis... Backs up... BELLY-TO-BELLY!

DM: That was kind of a ponderous suplex... Beast's worn out, but he's keeping the pressure on.

DT: Dis is reeling on the canvas now... Beast slumps back in the corner, trying to gain back some of his stamina. Slowly, Dis beginning to come to his feet...

MN: Hit 'em, Loafy!

DT: Up comes Dis... Beast storms out of the corner and CRAMS Dis' face into the mat with the big bulldog! The cover!

One!

TWO!

...NO! Dis gets that shoulder up!

MN: YEAH! Eat that, Loafy!

DM: I wouldn't be so excited, Neels... Beast is picking Dis apart bit by bit here.

MN: Lies! All lies!

DT: Again Beast cradling that masked head of Dis and pulling him up to his feet... PULLS HIM INTO A STANDING HEADSCISSORS... WE COULD SEE AN ABSOLUTION! HOOKS THE ARMS... NO! Dis pulls Beast's legs out from under him and rolls over for the bridge pin! This could be over!

One!

TWO!

THREE!


...NO! BEAST KICKED OUT AT THE LAST SECOND!

MN: THAT WAS THREE!

DT: I can't believe Beast kicked out of that! What heart by the champion!

DM: That man is a TANK.

DT: Slowly Beast beginning to roll to his feet... and Dis just FLIPS OUT and starts kicking Beast in the head and upper back repeatedly! Now dropping to his knees and slugging Beast in the mouth repeatedly! The referee tries to intervene - Dis shouts him down!

DM: Dis is all fired up! He's getting frustrated at Beast's resilience and he just wants to put him away!

DM: Dis is... DISSIN' HIM! Hah!

DM: ...No.

DT: Now Dis finally pulling Beast off the canvas and backing him into the ropes, and there's the series of jabs and forearms, pushes him back and slingshots him into the Irish whip. Runs towards Beast on the rebound... SPINNING HEADSCISSORS INTO A DDT DESTROYS BEAST COMPLETELY! COVER! IT'S OVER!

ONE!


TWO!



THREE!

...NO! NO! MY GOD, HOW THE HELL DID BEAST KICK OUT?!

DM: GOD!

DT: Dis now YANKING Beast off the canvas! GOING UP FOR THE HURRICANRANA... BEAST GRABS AHOLD... THEY'RE FIGHTING OVER IT... DIS WITH THE RIGHT HANDS TO THE HEAD, AND HE HURRICANRANAS BEAST TO THE OUTSIDE BUT FALLS OVER THE TOP ROPE WITH HIM AND BOTH MEN ARE DOWN ON THE OUTSIDE!

MN: Bodies are everywhere! This is complete carnage! It's like a massacre out here!

DT: The referee's starting the count, but Beast and Dis aren't moving!

DM: Come on, come on, get up!

DT: Beast starting to stir... Dis beginning to pull himself up with the help of the ring barricade...

MN: Come on, Dis...

DT: Both men unsteadily to their feet... Dis moves first, looking to slug Beast in the jaw, but BEAST GRABS HIM BY THE WAIST AND PLOWS HIM INTO THE BARRICADE!

MN: OWWWW!

DM: That was BRUTAL!

DT: Wait a minute... Dis being hooked up by Beast... the champion SPINS HIM AROUND... BRINGS HIM UP AND OH MY GOD HE JUST SUPLEXED DIS BACK-FIRST ACROSS THE BARRICADE! SWEET JESUS, HE'LL KILL HIM!

DM: MY GOD! HE'LL CRACK HIS SPINE IN TWO!

MN: LOOK AT DIS TWITCHING!

DT: WHAT A DESTRUCTIVE MANEUVER BY THE CHAMPION! The referee's still counting! Beast picks up Dis tiredly... PULLS HIM ONTO THE APRON AND GETS INTO THE RING... SUPLEXES DIS OVER THE ROPES AND BACK INTO THE RING!

DM: Beast is just PUNISHING the challenger right now!

DT: Again the World Champion bringing his opponent to his feet... Irish whip... Dis reverses... Beast rebounds... Dis with the CLOTHESLINE BUT BEAST DUCKS AND DIS WINGS THE REFEREE!

MN: REF!

DT: Dis turning to go after Beast - BEAST WITH THE BOOT TO THE GUT! HOOKS UP DIS IN THE HEADSCISSORS! HOOKS THE ARMS! THIS CROWD IS GOING CRAZY! WE COULD SEE AN ABSOLUTION HERE - WAIT A MINUTE - SOMEONE JUST REACHED IN FROM RINGSIDE AND PULLED DIS AWAY FROM BEAST BY THE LEG - IT'S THE OTHER DIS!

DM: WHAT THE HELL?!

DT: THE SECOND DIS PULLS THE FIRST TO THE OUTSIDE! NOW HAMMERING AT THE FIRST DIS! JUST SLUGGING AWAY! RIGHT HAND! RIGHT HAND! RIGHT HAND! WHAT THE HELL IS THE MEANING OF THIS?!

MN: Loafy doesn't like this!

DT: Beast is FURIOUS! Starting out of the ring to break it up -

[CROWD POP!]

DT: LOOK OUT, CROSS JUST CAME OUT THROUGH THE CURTAIN AND HE'S NOW SLUGGING AT THE SECOND DIS! THE SECOND DIS DROPS THE FIRST DIS AND SLUGS BACK AT CROSS! THEY'RE GOING SHOT FOR SHOT! CROSS KNOCKS THE SECOND DIS OVER THE RING BARRICADE AND GOES OVER AFTER HIM!

DM: THIS IS CRAZY! It's an all-out heap of chaos!

DT: DIS 2 AND CROSS BRAWLING IN THE CROWD! THEY'RE EXCHANGING RIGHTS AND LEFTS, TRYING TO GET THE BETTER OF EACH OTHER!

DM: Beast getting back into the ring... He's just watching the brawl!

DT: Cross NAILS Dis 2 with the huge knee to the gut and throws him down! Going to hit him in the face - DIS 2 GRABS A BEER FROM A FAN AND RAMS IT INTO CROSS' FACE!!!

MN: They're gonna kill each other!

DT: Cross trying to recover WAIT A MINUTE THE FIRST DIS JUST ROLLED UP BEAST FROM BEHIND -

ONE -

TWO -

THREE NO BEAST KICKS OUT AND GRABS DIS AND TOSSES HIM RIGHT OUT OF THE RING TO THE FLOOR! Now he's going down after him - Slugging away at Dis! Right hand! Right hand - DIS ELBOWS BEAST IN THE GUT AND SMASHES HIS FACE AGAINST THE RING BARRIER, AND THE OFFICIAL ISN'T EVEN BOTHERING TO COUNT ANYMORE!

DM: The ref can't even control this... it's madness!

MN: And Cross and Dis 2 are STILL killing each other - HOLY CRAP CROSS JUST THREW DIS 2 FACE-FIRST INTO A WALL!

[SPLITSCREEN: Dis and Beast on the larger left screen, Cross and Dis 2 on the smaller right screen.]

DT: Beast's reeling here - wait, Dis REACHES INTO THE CROWD - PULLS OUT A FOLDING CHAIR - SWINGS AT BEAST BUT BEAST PUNCHES THE CHAIR TO BLOCK THE SHOT! DIS SWINGS AGAIN AND CONNECTS RIGHT TO THE HEAD OF BEAST -

MN: Cross is just BASHING DIS 2'S FACE AGAINST THE WALL - DIS 2 GETS AHOLD OF A MOP AND JABS CROSS IN THE GUT THEN CLUBS HIM IN THE CHEST WITH IT -

DT: Dis throws the chair into the ring! Rolling Beast in after it -

DM: Dis 2 is just WAILING ON CROSS WITH THAT MOP STICK! Cross twitching with every blow as Dis 2 just GOES TO TOWN! Drops the mop and starts KICKING THE HELL out of him -

MN: Too much at once! Too much!

DM: CROSS GRABS DIS 2 BY THE LEG AND PULLS HIM DOWN AND STARTS PUNCHING THE HELL OUT OF HIM -

DT: Dis has got the CHAIR again... Dammit, the referee needs to STOP this! DIS SWINGS - BEAST PUNCHES THE CHAIR RIGHT INTO DIS' FACE! DIS GOES DOWN! Beast looking at the chair... THE CROWD WANTS HIM TO TAKE IT... BEAST PICKS UP THE CHAIR!

MN: HIT HIM, LOAFY!

DM: HIT HIM!

MN: HIT HIM!

DM: WHY DOESN'T HE HIT HIM?!

DT: BEAST'S HESITANT! HE DOESN'T WANT TO HIT DIS WITH THE CHAIR -

[**WHAM**] [CROWD: BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!]

DT: - DAMMIT DAMMIT DAMMIT! DIS JUST KICKED BEAST SQUARE IN THE GROIN! BEAST DOUBLES OVER IN AGONY AND DROPS THE CHAIR! DIS DOESN'T HESITATE! HOOKS THE HEAD! DAMMIT, DDT TO BEAST ON THE STEEL CHAIR!!!

MN: HAHAHAHA! YEAH!!! IT'S OVER!!!

DM: Where the HELL is Dis going?!

DT: Dis going up top! This crowd is on its feet! DIS COMES OFF THE TOP - MY GOD 450 SPLASH CONNECTS TO BEAST ON THE CHAIR!!! THE COVER! DIS MAKES THE COVER!!!

ONE!!!


TWO!



THREEEE!



...NO!!! NO!!!

[CROWD: *ENORMOUS POP!*]

DT: OH MY GOD HOW THE HELL DID BEAST GET THE SHOULDER UP?!?!

MN: HOLY CRAP THAT'S NUTS!!! THIS MATCH WAS OVER!!

DM: NO WAY! NO WAY! THAT SHOULD'VE ENDED IT!!!

DT: DIS CANNOT BELIEVE THIS! HE'S HOLDING HIS HEAD IN AMAZEMENT! HE THOUGHT THAT WAS IT!

DM: Geez, and Dis 2 and Cross are brawling through the crowd... CROSS NAILS DIS 2 WITH A CHAIR BUT DIS 2 DOESN'T GO DOWN! CROSS NAILS HIM AGAIN AND DIS 2 COLLAPSES! CROSS SWINGS THE CHAIR AGAIN - DIS 2 SOMEHOW TRIPS HIM INTO ANOTHER CHAIR!

DT: Back to the ring! Dis having some trouble as he pulls Beast up to his feet... pulling... got him! Elbow to the face! JUMPS UP FOR THE HURRICANRANA - WAIT BEAST CATCHES HIM - THEY'RE FIGHTING BACK AND FORTH -

DM: BEAST'S OVERPOWERING HIM -

DT: POWERBOMB BY BEAST WAIT NO DIS ROLLS THROUGH WITH THE SUNSET FLIP - ONE - TWO - DAMMIT DIS GRABS THE ROPES - THREE!!! - DAMMIT DAMMIT DIS JUST SCREWED BEAST OUT OF THIS MATCH BY HOLDING ONTO THE ******* ROPES AND THIS MATCH IS OVER DAMMIT!!!

[SFX: *DING* - Bell rings.]

[CROWD: *APE**** INSANE MANIAC ROOFEXPLODING POP*]

TONY FATORA: Here is your winnerrrrr and the NEEEEEEEEEEEEEEW EM-PIRE PRO WRESTLING HEAVYWEIGHT CHAM-PION OF THE WORRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRLD... DIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIISSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!



--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

DM: MY GOD WHAT AN UPSET!!! DIS JUST STOLE THIS MATCH RIGHT OUT OF THE BLUE!

DT: AND LOOK AT THE SHOCK ON BEAST'S FACE!

[Cut to a shot of Beast sitting up. His eyes are as wide as saucepans and his mouth hangs open, disbelief etched across his face as he stares blankly into the empty space before him.]

DT: Beast can't believe it! He's completely in shock!

MN: HAH! Loafy's beside himself! He can't believe he just lost the title!

[**CRACK**]

MN: What was THAT?!

[Cut to the brawl in the crowd.]

DT: Looks like Cross just LEVELED Dis 2 with a CHAIR! Grabs the second Dis - WHEELS him face-first into a wall! Now hammering at the back of the head of Dis! Bashes his head into a service room door! Bashes it again! Pushes the door open and SLAMS Dis 2 into a service shelf - WAIT A MINUTE DIS 2'S MASK GOT CAUGHT ON THE EDGE OF THE SHELF AND GOT PULLED BAC -

DM: GET A CAMERA ON HIM GET A CAMERA ON HIM!!!

MN: WHO IS IT?!?!

DT: CROSS IS JUST STARING AT DIS 2 LIKE HE'S SEEN A GHOST - DIS 2 PULLS THE MASK DOWN AND PUSHES CROSS BACK INTO THE DOOR AND RUNS AWAY THROUGH THE CROWD BEFORE CROSS CAN REACT! Cross shakes himself off and runs after him!

DM: Who WAS that masked man?!

MN: ...Forget that! Who's the REAL Dis?!

[Cut back to the ring. Beast sits in the corner of the ring, still staring emptily at Dis. The masked man moves slowly to the center of the ring, carefully winding the belt around his waist and latching it.]

DT: Could this finally be it?! Could we finally find out who hides behind the mask?!

MN: TROY WINDHAM TROY WINDHAM!

DM: Hornet!

MN: Christian Sands!

DM: Zero!

DT: Dis reaching down now... undoing something on his shoes... Steps forward... He just LEFT THE BOTTOM OF HIS SHOES BEHIND! Lifts! Lifts in Dis's shoes!

MN: Wow, he's actually a couple inches shorter... maybe around six two, six three...

DM: Tall enough for Sands... Too short for Zero... Just right for HORNET OR WINDHAM...

DT: Dis UNBUTTONING HIS SHIRT NOW... Slides it aside... There's... there's a wraparound CHEST PROTECTOR under there... slides THAT off now...

DM: Light guy... Windham... Melton?

MN: He's really, really slim... kind of lean and sleek, really...

DM: Beast's expression just turned to STONE...

DT: Dis reaching back now... UNLACING THE MASK... Tips his head forward... AND OUT FALLS A NEST OF LONG CURLY HAIR...

DM: OH JESUS CHRIST IT CAN'T BE...

MN: NO WAY... NO WAY...

DT: DIS FINALLY DROPS THE MASK AND LIFTS HIS HEAD AND OH MY F[BOMB]ING GOD IT'S LINDSAY TROY!!! JESUS CHRIST ON A ******* POGO STICK LINDSAY TROY WAS DIS ALL ALONG AND NOW SHE'S THE NEW HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION OF THE WORLD!!!

MN: NO!!! NO F[BOMB]ING WAY!!!

DM: OH MY GOD!!! OH MY GOD!!! LINDSAY ******* TROY!!!

DT: I CANNOT BELIEVE THIS TURN OF EVENTS, AND FROM A LOOK AT HIS FACE BEAST CAN'T BELIEVE IT EITHER BECAUSE HE JUST TURNED AS WHITE AS A GHOST AND HIS EYES ARE ABOUT READY TO BUG OUT OF HIS HEAD!!!

MN: HE LOOKS LIKE HE'S GONNA HAVE A HEART ATTACK!!!

DM: I... I just... MY GOD! I would never have guessed! LINDSAY TROY!

MN: I was SURE it was Troy Windham!

DT: In all my years I've never been as shocked as I am right now! I didn't see this coming in a million years -

[CUE UP: "Zero" - Smashing Pumpkins]

DT: - And hold onto your horses 'cause HERE COMES DAN RYAN!!!

[Cut to the ramp, where Dan Ryan walks slowly out through the curtain, Boogie Smallz standing alongside him. Ryan stares down at the ring, crossing his arms across his chest... then slowly shakes his head, tsk-tsking in disappointment. Cut to Beast's face as he stares in shock at Ryan. His expression slowly begins to shift, slithering bit by bit from shocked to furious, his brows dropping into a V and his jaw tightening painfully. Finally, cut to Lindsay Troy standing against the ropes, hands crossed over the World Title as she smirks across the intervening distance between herself and Dan Ryan. A moment later, Ryan turns and departs, leaving us with a final shot of Troy smirking.]

[Fade to credits, then to black...]

 

[DBrunkGXW]

Cameron Cruise vs. Joey Melton [Cage match] – Black Dawn 2005

[CUT TO: Dan Ryan, sitting in front of an EPW backdrop.]

RYAN: This was the classic story of a respect match. The most celebrated tag team in EPW’s history at the time, one of the most dominant teams in the history of the sport and just a great, great story. The very name of the Cameron Cruise Project came from the idea that Joey Melton saw Cruise as a joke, and a “project” to be taken up. Melton wanted to try and make Cruise into a star, which he perceived as something Cruise couldn’t do on his own. With tension bubbling up and Cameron’s sense of pride kicking in, this was his shot at respect, a shot at being seen as an equal – and Cruise came through in a big way.

DT: Gentlemen, as EPW continues to grow and become one of the premiere federations in the world, we have to look back at the contributions of the men and women who have put on spectacles and shed the blood, sweat, and tears to allow us to be selling out Madison Square Garden. Two men who come to mind, Joey Melton and Cameron Cruise: the Cameron Cruise Project; One of, if not the greatest tag team in recent memory. They set box office records, are brought new viewers to this company. Mike, Dean… The Cameron Cruise Project for almost two years were EPW as much as anyone else. Now, they battle for the championship of each other.

MN: Did you say Cameron Cruise and Box office records in the same sentence together?

DM: I thought he did.

DT: It’s about respect, the perceived lack of respect they never got from the other. It’s a pity to say one of the great teams come down to this, a cage match to see who the weak link was, but here we are, loser must get on the house mic afterwards and say he respects the other man.

MN: That’s long what I’ve wanted written in Dean’s contracts. To end each broadcast with him verbally respecting you and I, Dave. Seems fair.

DM: How’s that working out for you?


[MUSIC CUEUP: “Stand Up” – Trapt]
[A tidal wave of emotion rides through the Garden as Cameron Cruise steps out of the stage entrance, stops a the top of the stage and salutes the crowd. Cameron fists pounds a few lucky fans, who won’t wash for weeks now, the sweat of Cameron Cruise blended into their skin, but the former IC champion walks with a decided purpose and without Mercedes.]

DT: A surprise here, no Mercedes accompanying Cruise.

MN: Never a good idea to leave the brain behind. But, hey, maybe Cruise knows something I don’t.

DM: That’s almost a given.

[Cruise acknowledges the fans again, takes a deep breath and steps through the cage door. He has Joey Melton alone, at last.]

[MUSIC CUEUP: “I Need A Hero” – Bonnie Tyler]

DT: You know somewhere, at this very moment Rod Stewart is watching Black Dawn and cringing.

[Born in New York, New York, Melton struts out, bathing in the hometown reaction from the Garden fans. Joey turns as sparklers set off on opposite sides of him, his back turned towards the cage and the fans. The pyrotechnics reflect beautifully in the diamond studs embedded in his illustrious black robe. Melton has his own robe guy in New York. You know you’ve made it in this business when you have a robe guy; so few ever do. Joey walks straight down the center of the aisle, sneering at outstretched fans and looking at his watch as if to imply he won’t miss dinner reservations.]

MN: That’s class, Dave. New York class.

DT: Gimme a break.

DM: Mike sit down and stop clapping.

MN: This man is the reason your crack habit continues to be fed.

DM: By all means then…. JOEY!

[Melton looks up at Cruise inside the cage and laughs. THIS is the man he’s supposed to draw money with tonight. It’s a PPV. Melton wonders if Ryan’s forget Black Dawn isn’t a regional television broadcast. Joey disrobes, carefully folding his precious neatly, before handing it off to an underpaid staffer.]

DT: Joey Melton entering the cage! You can feel the electricity in the Garden!

MN: The type usually reserved for Bassmaster Expos, and tournaments.

DT: Those do, do well here I understand. Melton inside with Cruise, and we’re seconds away! Last minute thoughts guys?

DM: No.

MN: Luckily Dean doesn’t get paid by the word, nor Cruise by time of match. I don’t see this one going more than a few ticks of the clock. It’s a PPV event, Dave, and Melton lives for this big moments.

DT: Madison Square Garden on its feet for this one, the anticipation has reached a fever pitch! Weeks in the making, it’s Cameron Cruise and Joey Melton from Madison Square Garden!

[Mike Shannon, an EPW rules official locks the steel cage with a pad lock from the outside, violently shaking the cage door to the New York crowd’s delight for confirmation that Cruise and Melton have no way out.]

MN: A hometown hero vs. a noted racist and leader of Arian nation! Feels just like the Saturday Morning Serials of your youth, aye Dean? Melton just needs a Redskin painstakingly reading his lines at his side and we can wrap this up in thirty minutes.

DM: And we all wear the mask tonight. Each of us has something to hide, an emotional pain that cuts too deep to share. Maybe we can all be heroes Neely.

[Joey grabs the top rope and leans back, stretching his aging body, hoping it responds. Cruise jogs in the place, beaming at the steel enclosure that’s brought he and Melton back together.]

SFX: DING! DING!

[The Garden reacts at the ring bell, and the gladiators inching towards one another, and a kill.]

DT: Cruise and Melton slowly measuring each other, Collar and Elbow Tie-up! Both men fighting for position, Cameron on his heels, no! Melton’s sent flying into the corner! Joey taken back by the strength of Cruise, reaches for the steel cage and tests it’s validity. He’s not going anywhere for the time being.

MN: So does this mean Cruise is the strong of the two? Which one can get to the bottom of a Tootsie Pop first? I need to know these things.

DT: Tie-up in the center of the ring, Melton’s low, knees bent for leverage. Cruise backs up two steps, Joey’s red faced, everything he owns is in this, he wants to keep the upper hand on Cruise even at this early juncture!

MN: Once you let the dog sleep upstairs, he’ll want up there every night. Joey knows he has to put Cameron to bed early, and not let the mutt test his boundaries. Why is Dad giving me hell in my headset for using ‘Redskin?’

DM: You’re still live, idiot. This is why Dave and I campaigned for controlling your safe button.

DT: Cruise backed a third step, but he powers forward, TOSSING Joey to the mat, legs up and over his head! Cameron turns his back to Melton, and poses for him! And the hearts of young women collectively swoon!

MN: And Dean’s as well. I’ll be honest, that man is sexy. More than a few times my wife has mentioned bringing him home…

DT: Please! Joey slaps the turnbuckle in disgust. We’re a minute in, and he’s been bested by Cruise twice already. He’s complaining to the ref about something…

DM: He wants a piss check right here. I like the gamesmanship, test Cruise for steroids or smack during the match itself.

DT: If Joey’s displeased with the ref, he has nobody to blame but himself. Connor Button is the man in charge, and this is his first EPW event! He’s a Carnival employee, who’s worked hundreds of Melton’s cruise ship charades. Er, matches. Point being, as Joey aggressively dives at Cruise and locks up for a third time, that Button’s a yes-man with no formal experience.

MN: I’d call working Melton matches on the high seas a great experience. I bet he even gets to keep the women after Joey maims and abuses them first.

DT: Oh Geez. Cruise backing Melton up, but he goes down hard! Come on! Joey clearly had a hand full of hair!

[Garden crowd loves it, as Joey works Cruise over with an arm bar.]

MN: Let’s not be accusatory for once Thomas, how bout that? Button thought it was a fair move, that’s good enough for me!

DT: Joey bringing Cruise to near tears as he rams a knee into the back of Cameron’s elbow! Button’s not on the EPW payroll, Mike. It’s a fair bet Joey paid his way here! How Ryan let him get away with this…

[Cruise struggles to his feet, with the crowd behind him, he reaches with rage colored eyes for Melton’s blonde locks, but Joey again takes liberty with the rules and yanks Cameron to the mat.]

DM: If the kid’s family buys the PPV, that’s a meal, or new dress for Alaina Troy. It’s called aggressive marketing.

DT: Melton with Cameron’s right arm laid out like a six foot sub on the mat, DRIVES his left knee into Cruise’s elbow! I know EPW rings are more forgiving that others, but Joey’s on the verge of breaking his former partner’s arm!

MN: As long as Mercedes still has two, Cammy’s marriage will remain in good shape.

DT: Joey lifts Cruise to his feet, twists under Cruise’s right arm, elbow on elbow and the former IC champion folds like a tent! Joey wrapping Cameron’s arm over the top rope, what’s he doing here?

DM: Going for a submission? Just a guess.

MN: What Dean said. This match already is boring me. I was promised Troy and Mercedes suspended in cages 35 feet in the air. Why was that suggestion vetoed?

DT: Melton pulling like hell on Cruise’s arm, his feet through the middle ropes and supported by the cage! The agony on Cameron’s face!

MN: Oh, he could’ve saved a bunch of money on car insurance by switching to Geico but didn’t!

DT: Button’s not even counting! Come on! That’s a five count right there. If he’s going to be in an EPW ring he has to enforce the rules!

[Cruise is pale in the face, the tendons in his arm searing with pain.]

MN: Hey, we don’t know how they do things on the Pacific Ocean, do we? Have an open mind, and learn something Thomas. My bet is you were always the one who questioned the exchange student’s study habits.

DT: Cruise with his foot on the middle rope, he’s climbing the ropes! Both feet on the cage, HEADBUTT! Cameron shot off the cage and cracked Joey in the head with his! Melton’s dazed, worse he may be busted open as Cruise crumples to the mat in a heap, holding his arm like a newborn baby.

DM: If the arm’s broke he has to end it, but Cameron’s too aware of the stipulation. The loser has get on the house mic and say he respects the other. How many times in the last few weeks ahs Cruise thought to himself, “I’d rather lose my right arm than say that.” Well, fate’s pretty literal sometimes.

DT: Melton is indeed bleeding slightly from a cut on the left side of his forehead. He walks to Cameron, twists under the arm, KNIFE EDGE CHOP! And Cruise rocks back on his heels! Melton under the arm again, BACKFLIP by Cruise, Cameron twists under, ELBOW TO ELBOW and Joey falls to his knees! Cameron grabs a handful of Melton’s hair and holds his face in place…short jabs by Cruise, needling into Melton’s forehead.

DM: I like the move. Open Melton up, get some blood in those eyes. Go for a TKO of your own.

DT: Cruise falls directly back, bounces off the ropes and clotheslines Joey! Melton withering on his back in pain, Cruise off the ropes, LEG DROP! He motions to Button to cover, the pin…ONE….TWO….NO! Joey’s up. Melton to his feet in a hurry to stem the damage, right hand by Cruise! Joey fires a left! Right by Cruise! Right by Cruise! STANDING DROPKICK! And Melton’s caught in the ropes!

MN: I once saw a kid get his neck caught like this, and nearly choke to death! The good news here is Melton can breath, I guess.

DT: The Unifier’s kicking and screaming, barking orders to Button for help, but he’s not going anywhere! The Crowd on it’s feet, they realize Cruise has a free shot! Cameron, playfully strutting in front of Melton, licking his chops, how he’s waited for this, to have Melton as a punching bag, unable to fight back. Cruise right hook! Joey’s eyes are an impression of a pinball machine right now. He’s on TILT! Cruise drops to his knees, smirks to the crowd, no, show some mercy…NUT SHOT!

MN: That’s like cutting Samson’s hair. Son of a *****!

DM: Oh those don’t really hurt. Mike, let me show you..

MN: Get off me you queer.

DT: Cruise, tucking Joey’s legs under the bottom rope, leaving him exposed! As much as I enjoy seeing Joey get his, I am a firm believer in fair play.

MN: It’s a cage match, Thomas. No ***** footing around.

DT: Cameron off the ropes, running kick to Joey’s gut! Melton’s lifeless! The Garden’s rocking, they sense it’s over! I have to agree. Melton’s on dream street, and there’s nothing he can do!

DM: At least Cotton’s realizing the urgency and has gotten his cue.

[Button feverishly works to free a sleepy Melton.]

DT: Cruise sees he’s smartened up as well, Cameron NECKBREAKER on Button!

MN: Careful, the man isn’t even legally supposed to be in the ring.

DT: What the hell?

[Adrian Evans, aka Little Voltron cuts across the Garden skyline on a pulley. The crowd watches as Evans races to the cage, hovers over it, his legs flailing to find a good landing, then helplessly shoots past the ring altogether and exits stage right.]

DT: Adrian Evans…what the…

MN: [laughing] That drop would’ve killed him!

DM: The little ****’s probably still racing around the arena. Wow.

DT: Cruise, laughing to himself, and at Melton. You can see the pity in Cruise’s eyes. This is what the great Joey Melton has come to! Plan B is a midget dropping like manna from the sky.

[Cruise delivers a knee to Joey’s chest.]

MN: There was a time when Melton could out think anyone. I…I remember those times. How the mighty have fallen.

[Cotton struggles to his feet, unsure of where he’s at.]

DT: Cameron in Joey’s grill talking, at this point he just has to free Melton and pin him. And it’s all justly deserved! The way Melton’s belittled Cruise leading up to this match has been shameful.

[Cotton Button reaches in his pants, and pulls out a plastic bag. Before the crowd can alert Cruise, Button leaps on his back and ties off a plastic bag around Cameron’s head.]

DT: NO! WHAT! The ref, BUTTON! COTTON BUTTON!

DM: Martial arts kick to Cameron’s kidney! Button with a kick to the back of Cruise’s head and Cameron’s out!!

MN: Sometimes guys, the greats just get better with age.

DT: Nonsense! This is an outrageous! Button freeing Melton, and the Unifier collapses to his feet! He’s out! Easy for the pickens, if Cruise didn’t have to fight off a second man! THE BLASTED REF OF THIS MATCH!

DM: Kinda hard to imagine Cruise forcing him to count three now, huh?

DT: Joey’s bleeding like a stuck pig, and has no idea where he’s at, but Button’s viciously attacking Cameron Cruise! Kicking away at the former IC and Tag champion! Cameron Cruise needs air! Somebody!

[Melton staggers to his feet, with the aid of the ropes. Standing, leaning against the turnbuckle, he wipes blood off his face and searches for composure.]

DT: Button spinning roundhouse kick! This can’t be happening! Dammit this is EPW’s biggest stage, and Melton and this buffoon who Kathy Lee Gifford probably hired personally are ruining it!

DM: When did Dave go on his period, Mike?

MN: When is he NOT?

DT: Shut up you two! Now, Cruise being thrown head first into the steel cage! Goodness! Mercy to Betsy, he’s probably dead right now.

MN: One less stiff on the payroll. Now if we can just get rid of Matthews…

DT: Melton walks to Button, a grin the size of Texas on his face. How can he possibly be pleased with what he’s done here tonight?

MN: You mean get the upper hand?

[Button and Melton gleefully embrace, as the crowd boos.]

DT: Shut up. Cotton drags Cruise to his feet and holds ups arms behind him! Melton rips off the bag, ohmy! Cruise is busted open, and he looks half-dead. Joey right hand to the mush! Melton now, dancing around like he’s the second coming of Ali and peppering Cruise with jabs! Cruise is finished!

MN: He just spat up blood. He’s breathing, so he’s got that going for him which is nice.

DT: Melton and Button….send Cruise head first into the cage! Cameron crawling for the ropes, he wants out of the ring. Button sweeps his legs up as Cruise hangs on to the ropes! Melton, no, come on Joey, he pulls Cotton’s belt off him…Joey WHIPPING Cameron Cruise like a dog!

MN: Called it.

DM: Very nice.

DT: Joey’s very clearly lost his mind tonight. This is pathetic.

DM: It’s been brewing for weeks, Dave. You could see it. Cruise hadn’t gotten under Melton’s skin. He’d dared break away, and make steps to leave Melton behind. What you’re seeing tonight is Joey Melton give a lesson to a punk who dearly needs one.

DT: I don’t believe that. Melton holding Cruise up by the legs now, Cotton off the ropes, VEG-A-MATIC! Another warm embrace as even this New York crowd, Melton’s people, are turning against him. Joey covers, arrogantly, ONE….TWO….come on! Melton picking Cruise’s head off the mat, shaking his fingers no.

MN: What are you talking about? Cruise powered out!

DT: He did not! Joey whips Cruise into the ropes, POWER SLAM! Cameron barely made it across the ring. He’s going on instinct right now.

DM: What instincts, set yourself up for an ass kicking. You wonder if Ryan ever marketed a talking dummy of Cruise, what’d it say?

MN: That’s sorta like Jumbo Shrimp, if you stop to think about it.

DT: Joey has Cruise to his feet, hooks the lights, VERTICAL SUPLEX! No! Cruise blocked it! I don’t believe it! Suplex attempt again, NO! BLOCKED! Button with a forearm to Cameron’s back! A cheap shot! VERTICAL SUPLEX and Cruise is down this time! How can Cruise be expected to fight off two men when…

MN: He’s spent his entire career struggling to beat one?

DT: Don’t put words in my mouth Neely!

DM: Well-said Dave.

DT: Melton barking orders to Cotton who races to the top rope. Cruise needs some help out here.

MN: From who? Hiroshi? When you look as good as Cruise does, and smell better, there aren’t a lot of men on the ready to take up your cause. We’re jealous creatures. We men.

DT: Melton and Button working seamlessly together, and why shouldn’t they with hundreds of cruises under their belt. Joey Side-Russian Leg Sweep and Button off the top with a FROG SPLASH! Look at Button begging Melton for the pin. The idiot wants to count himself over Cruise.

MN: Is that legal?

DT: None of this is!

DM: No, this is legal. What Mike did with his cousin last night wasn’t.

MN: I get nervy during Hurricane Season, cut me a break.

DT: Melton kicking Button off Cruise, apparently in his mind this hasn’t gone on long enough. Cruise propped up in the corner, arms thrown over the ropes like anchors. Knife Edge Chop by Melton! Another! Button and Melton each grab a hand and whip Cruise into the opposite corner, Cameron bounces HARD out of the corner, Button and Melton charge, DOUBLE CLOTHESLINE! Cameron just flung himself in the air and clotheslined both men!

[Cameron’s act of life recharges the Garden crowd.]

DT: That may have been everything Cruise had left to spend right there, but he fired the shot.

MN: See, all your whining for nothing. Cameron’s still fighting. It’s a fair fight.

DT: It’s two on one!

[Button jumps to his feet as Melton lingers, and stomps like a man mad as hell at his own shadow.]

MN: Blame Ryan, he hired the man!

DT: Camel clutch by Button, ripping Cameron’s neck right off it’s hinges. Joey in Cameron’s face giving him the business! Be a man and take Cruise by yourself, come on! Joey motions to Button, they’re going to try it again.

DM: He’s just letting Cameron know where he belongs. The man spent the better part of two years following Melton around like a lap dog, asking how high when Joey said Jump. You almost can’t blame him for forgetting he’s a pawn.

DT: Cruise thrown into the opposite corner a second time, Melton and Button run in, Cruise rolls under, off the ropes, FLYING BODY PRESS! He’s got Melton down, and Button’s head is pinned underneath!

[Out of agony at being pinched under Cruise’s body, Cotton slaps the mat hard twice, essentially counting Melton. The crowd realizes what’s happening, and counts off with Button’s hand.]

DT: He’s going to pin Melton! No! Joey reaches in desperation and grabs his stooges hand! What an idiot! Melton kicks out, and sends Cruise over Button.

MN: That poor kid would have never lived that one down.

DM: Or worked the North Korea tour for Melton again.

DT: Joey angrily drops and elbow over Cameron’s back. Cruise’s right foot in his hands, Joey pulls his former tag partner in the center of the ring, figure four time you better believe. Melton hooks the leg, but Cruise counters, SMALL PACKAGE! [Fans pop hard, then realize there’s no one to count] ONE…TWO….Where’s Cotton!?.

MN: You still think he’s going to count these pins for Cruise? Dave, really?

DT: Melton tackles Cruise into a corner, driving his left knee into Cameron’s gut! A Knife Edge Chop! HIP TOSS! Joey points to the top of the cage, and Button gleefully starts to scale the cage like a cat. Melton steadies Cruise on his back, in the center of the ring, his legs in Melton’s firm grip. Look at that kid climb!

DM: He’s a jack of all trades, more or less.

DT: He’s a jack something. Cotton, perched on the top, he’s gonna stand on the top of the cage!

[Fans jump to their feet. Spot of the show here.]

MN: Is it any wonder Joey sails Carnival when, evidently, this is the quality of help you’re provided? Say what you want Dave, but this kid’s a strong endorsement for his company.

DT: Please. Button smirks at the Garden faithful, here he goes!

[As Button flies off the top of the cage, Cruise uses his leg strength to pull a distracted Melton into his body, then schooling him up, as Cotton misses the pair and brutally hits the mat.]

[Big pop.]

DT: Cruise with the pin! I don’t believe it!

[Button doubled over in pain angrily slaps the mat, again counting the pin on Melton.]

DT: ONE……TWO……kick out! So close! Melton’s livid.

MN: I didn’t say he was the employee of the month, mind you.

DT: Melton leads Cotton by the throat into the corner. Displeased doesn’t do the look on Melton’s face justice!

MN: If this kid’s not union, he just lost his benefits.

DT: Melton and his stooge really getting into it! This kid’s giving as good as he’s getting.

[As Melton and Botton argue, a weary Cruise climbs the cage.]

DM: I don’t how smart that is for long term employment, you know Mike.

MN: He’s union, no doubt about it.

[Fans lose their minds, both Joey and Cotton think the pop is for them, and they intensify their lecture.]

DT: CAMERON CRUISE! Cruise scaling the cage, he’s on top and Melton doesn’t see him! A false move and the man could fall to his death!

MN: Dean, help me blow….

DT: Cruise be careful! OH!! Cruise HURRICANERANA and Melton’s thrown like a dead weight across the ring!!

[The Garden EXPLODES.]

[Button not wasting a second, leaps backwards on the middle turnbuckle and flies off at Cruise.]

DT: Cameron catches Cotton! ATOMIC DROP! He whips Button across the ring, off the ropes, SPINEBUSTER! Will you listen to this crowd!!? Melton gamely to his feet, but he’s rubber at this point. Cruise, SWINGING NECKBREAKER!

MN: Cameron, remember the good times you and Joey used to share. Show mercy. He’s old. Brittle. A high-insurance risk.

DT: The Crippler pulls Cotton Button to Melton and lays his body over Joey’s! He’s pointing to the top again! Don’t risk it! Cameron no!

[As quickly as he can, Cruise climbs to the top of the cage, as the fans exchange high fives with one another.]

DT: Cameron trying to steady himself on the top of the cage, he’s playing with fire if you ask me.

MN: Don’t listen to him Cameron! Jump! Jump!

DT: Cameron….ELBOW DROP ON BOTH MEN!

[Cameron sits up beside the bodies, and bathes in the Garden’s “Cam-ron Cruise” chant.]

DT: He did it! Cruise, falls back, but no cover! [Cruise grabs Button’s weightless left hand and slams it to the mat] Yes! ONE…..TWO….TH---- [Melton miraculously grabs it before it hits.] That was it! That had to be all!

MN: Don’t discount Melton’s resolve to NOT lose to Cameron Cruise. It’s part of what fuels everyone in EPW.

DM: There ya go Dave. Help’s on the way.

[The crowd cheers wildly as Mercedes runs down the aisle, in knee-high black leather boots, a tight black mini-skirt, and a Ref’s top.]

DT: Cruise’s wife, Mercedes Devon! Has she been sanctioned?

[Mercedes frantically yells at Shannon to open the cage door and let her in.]

MN: Does it matter at this point?

DT: Mercedes is in! Much to Cruise’s dismay.

MN: ***** follows him everywhere, really. Honey, it’s called a hobby, look into it.

DM: Never get married. Seriously.

DT: Cruise knows a steel cage is nowhere for a woman to be! He’s trying to usher he back out and onto the sidelines.

MN: I can hear Troy’s nails digging into someone’s back, Dave. Nice.

DT: Mercedes pleading her case, but Cameron’s putting his foot down!

DM: Evidently he does wear the pants in the family. Interesting. Family secrets revealed at Black Dawn.

DT: From behind Melton tackles Cruise who collapses on his wife! Mercedes head cracked back against the top turnbuckle. Cruise was right, get her out of there!

MN: What’s good for the goose is good for the gander. Let’s get some blood out of her.

DT: Mike! Melton suplexes Cruise into the cage, and Cameron’s body falls outside the ropes! Joey side-stepping Mercedes’ body, bends Cameron back first over the ropes, NECKBREAKER and Cruise shoots head first into the cage!

DM: Melton would raise a notch in my book if he gets Mercedes to count her own husband out. That’d be classic.

DT: You better believe Joey’s thinking along the same lines. Melton grating Cruise’s busted face across the cage like a slab of cheddar cheese. Button drives over Mercedes, BRONCO BUSTER! That’s over the line!

MN: Think of it as therapy for the Cruise marriage. Button’s getting Mercedes worked up then sending her home to Cammy. Even he might be able to close that deal.

DT: Joey and Cotton communicating through hand signals. They’re either about to land the L.A. to New York flight, or…

MN: Beat the crap out of Cruise.

[Melton lays Cameron’s neck over the ropes.]

DT: Joey shoots Cotton across the ring. Melton on all fours, Button in the air, off Joey’s back…OH! Cruise dropped to the mat and Cotton racked himself over the top rope! Cameron with a third wind, or is this the fourth? No matter, Cruise slaps the taste of the kid’s mouth, then dropkicks Melton! Cameron fires Joey into the cage!! Melton bounces head first off the steel cage and catches himself in a comprising position on the top rope! Both Melton and Button hitting the high notes!

DM: Going after a man’s nuts. At least Mercedes has taught him something.

DT: Cruise pumps his fist in the air like Helen Slater in The Legend Of Billie Jean! FAIR IS FAIR! Cruise leaps on the top rope, grabs Button and Joey, DOUBLE SIDE-RUSSIAN LEG SWEEP! Modified version at least!

[Cam-ron Cruise! Cam-ron Cruise!]

MN: A mass body of people chanting his name? Yeah, Cruise sold his soul for this one. He’s now officially property of Oz.

DT: Mercedes takes off her left boot, OH! She cracks it over Button’s right eye! Cotton, the Carnival stooge, failing around…

DM: Looks like he’s doing a pee dance.

[There’s a murmur in the crowd as Adrian Evans jumps the railing and frantically begins to climb the cage.]

DT: Mercedes, SHIPWRECK on Cotton Button! Textbook!

[Mrs. Cruise! Mrs. Cruise!]

MN: He’s the ***** of a few Demi-Gods now, that’s for damn sure.

DT: Cameron, has a reeling Melton, SHIPWRECK! It’s over! Cruise, battered, beaten, bloodied, and outmanned but victory is in his hands! And the Garden is with him every step of the way!

DM: Plan B’s back in the picture, Dave.

MN: Damn that midget can scale a cage. Did somebody hang some fruit up there or something?

DT: Cruise, finally sees Evans jumping the cage. Enough is enough, Melton can’t bring a small army to get the job done and call it square.

[Cruise hurriedly climbs the cage with Adrian, meeting him at the top of the cage, Evans tries to get his leg over before Cameron reaches him, but can’t.]

DT: It’s Cruise and Adrian Evans on opposite sides of the fence, literally!

MN: Don’t drop that midget, Cruise! We’ve seen how this plays out before.

DT: Cameron kisses his right hand, cocks, and fires! ADRIAN’S OFF THE CAGE!! GOOGLY MOOGLY!

[The Garden LIFTS the roof off as Adrian Evans is knocked off the cage and is sent spiraling down, his fall broken by the Spanish broadcast table.]

DT: Man overboard! Man overboard!

[CRUISE! CRUISE! CRUISE!]

[Cameron positions himself on top of the cage, carefully.]

MN: I’ve seen fire and rain, but…no...I’ve never seen this.

DM: It’s prom night and Carrie is the homecoming Queen.

DT: Mercedes holding Melton’s legs, Joey’s fighting, all alone, trying like hell to roll out of the way, LEG DROP TO JOEY’S GROIN! Cruise, high-risk again, jumps off…SHOOTING STAR PRESS FROM THE TOP OF THE CAGE! ARE YOU KIDDING ME?

[Cruise hits Melton then bounces five feet back. The crowd loses their stuff.]

MN: If there’s a Plan D for Melton, I’ll personally devote my life to him.

DM: There’s not.

DT: Cameron, shaken, he may have busted a rib, covers…ONE…..Mercedes counts, TWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO……..one more darlin’, THREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

[The Garden breaks into a joyous riot as Cruise, in utter disbelief stands, groggy, bloodied, but never better. Mercedes jumps into his waiting arms.]

DT: Cameron Cruise has defeated Joey Melton!

MN: Put that sentence in a time capsule.

DT: Cruise sinks into a corner, has it sunk it yet? It has for Joey Melton. He’s in tears, look at the man!

DM: I thought you were kidding Dave, but he really is sobbing. Wow. A legacy tarnished tonight.



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[Melton kicks the ropes, normally a man who can find the bright side in atomic war, Joey will hear nothing from Cotton. It’s over. He lost to Cameron Cruise. Hemmingway took his life from less pain.]

DT: A house mic is slid in under the ring to Cruise, and Cameron gingerly walking to Melton. He’s handing his former partner the mic! Joey Melton as stipulated by the rules of this match has to say he respects Cameron!

MN: He’d just as soon eat glass, or kiss a wookie.

DM: That can be…

MN: Don’t.

DM: Sorry.

DT: Melton and Cruise face-to-face, Cameron hands Melton the mic, he takes it!

MN: Save some of the man’s dignity. Leave him some Cameron!

DT: Joey nods his head, and pats Cruise on the back. If he weren’t shirtless I’d suggest he had a bomb strapped to his chest. Melton asking for the home town crowd to be silent. You know, he can make up for everything, the crap he pulled here tonight and forcing Ryan to strip Cruise of the IC belt, he can save himself if he comes through with one line. Be a man and tell Cruise what he wants to hear, what he DESERVES to hear.

DM: I think Dave has a boner from all of this.

MN: You don’t?

DT: Joey…quiet.

JOEY MELTON: [resigned] Cameron. Tonight you took everything I had to give. You proved me wrong. Cameron, I… [Joey’s mouth moves, but nothing comes out.]

[Melton quizzically looks at the mic. The fans start to BOO, but Joey shrugs helplessly.]

I……CAM….U…….ME…………..TREE…….HAM.. NO.

[Joey again points at the mic as Cruise rolls his eyes.]

DT: You have to be kidding me.

MN: What? The mic doesn’t work. I’m on record before as saying nothing in this company is high-dollar.

DT: Melton motioning to Shannon to bring him a new microphone. Whatever. Just get this thing done, Cruise deserves that much.

[Mike Shannon opens the cage and steps through with a second house mic. As Shannon extends it towards Melton, Joey tosses his mic high in the air at Cruise. Cruise’s eyes follow the mic, and he never sees Cotton plant a kick into his gut]

DT: For Pete’s sake. Cotton drops Cruise, and Melton pounding on Mike Shannon, oh come on the man’s a retiree!

[Joey pushes Shannon’s body out of the way and high tails it out of the cage, Cotton not fair behind. As the pair hit the ring, they’re met with a chorus of boos and scattered trash thrown in their direction.]

DT: That’s the saddest thing I’ve ever seen, and I’ve seen the house Mike grew up in.

MN: Bite me Thomas.

DT: Melton taking the low road back up the aisle, to cheat Cruise throughout the match, then at the end. That’s just…

DM: The essence of Joey Melton?

[Cruise hugs Mercedes as he laughs at Melton.]

COTTON BUTTON: [on house mic] You’ll never be Joey Melton! You’re not fit to sail the seven seas, or see the world at his hand! All aboard Jack ass!

[Button throws the mic down and runs to catch up with Melton.]

DT: He speaks too. Great. Cameron Cruise the winner tonight! All the months, hard time on the road putting up with Melton, Cameron gets justice tonight.

DM: There’ll be no living with Cameron after this.

 

[DBrunkGXW]

Dan Ryan vs. IrishRed [Street Fight] – Wrestleverse II - For 6 Months Control of EPW

[CUT TO: Dan Ryan, sitting in front of an EPW backdrop.]

RYAN: This was a fun, fun series of matches and segments for me. From the bits we did with Shane off wrestling in other countries to the tremendous way he played off the angle, it’s some of my favorite stuff. This was the culmination of the first phase of what would later become a huge interpromotional feud against A1E. If Irishred won this match, he would control EPW for six months. If I won, he would be banished from EPW. Shane, for lack of a better word, was a bit of a dick. [laughs] He didn’t make a lot of friends in the business and he had very strong and rigid views on how things ought to be, but we always worked very well together. I really thought this match came off well, and it stretched from one show to another, which was also a fun thing to be able to do. It included, among other things, a homeless person, Ice Tre and fighting in the tiny washroom of a greyhound bus. And of course, in the end – that dastardly Beast shows his face again. [smiles]

[The bell sounds. Cut to Tony Fatora standing in the center of the ring, looking typically Italian as he raises his mic.]

TONY FATORA: "Th' following contest... is scheduled for ONE fall, and is a stuh-rrREET fight, with falls counting anywhere! It will be contested f'r SIX MONTHS ownership of EM-piyah Prrrrro Wrestling!

DT: Folks, it looks like it's that time! The match that will decide the fate of Empire Pro Wrestling for fully half of the new year! When the dust settles, it'll be Dan Ryan or IrishRed taking the reins!

MN: It's the fine line between success and failure, and I'm rooting for success, babay! Go boss go!

[Even as Neely's speaking, the Empire-Tron kicks to life with a familiar video, and the rasp of "Zero" by the Smashing Pumpkins begins to pulse through the arena. The fans know the tune well. In a massive wave they rise to their feet and roar their approval even as the broad-bodied figure of Dan Ryan appears, illuminated darkly against the screen behind him. He steps forward and raises his arms to the crowd. The owner of the company has of course changed into his ring gear, and he's smirking the smirk of a cat ready to eat a mouse. With a brisk, confident stride he makes his way to the ring, slapping a few hands indifferently.]

TONY FATORA: Introducing first! He hails from Houston, Texas, and is the owner and chief executive of Em-piyah Pro Wrestling! He isssss DAAAAAAAAAAAAAN... RYYYYYAAAAAANNNNNN!!!

DT: And here comes the owner of the company, in fighting trim! You have to believe as you look at Dan Ryan that he's still in peak fighting shape.

DM: That's right, Dave Thomas. Even though he's a big-shot executive these days, with a guy like Dan Ryan he never loses that cutting edge. I don't think IrishRed knows what he's getting in to.

MN: Just like IrishRed is gonna get cut tonight! Haha! Who does he think he is, coming in here, attacking our boss - INSULTING his DEAD DAUGHTER?! IrishRed's gonna get KIIIIILED! Haha!

DT: I don't know if I'd go that far, but after the humiliation Dan Ryan has put IrishRed through these past few weeks and months, you have to believe that the former MBE Hardcore Champion has a score to settle.

[Bad Company by Bad Company starts to play over the loudspeakers. On the screen the name Irishred in blood red is shown across six four leaf clovers. As Music starts red and green pinpoint spots crisscross the arena and track Irishred as he walks down the ramp. Green cloverleaf spot on center of the ring as Irishred enters, stands with his head back and closed fists touching each other in front of his chest. When he spreads his arms wide the cloverleaf turns to red.]

TONY FATORA: And introducing the challenger! He hails from Yankton, South Dakota, and he weight in at two hundred an' thirty-five pounds! Thisssss issss IRIIIIIISH... RRRRRRREEEEEEEED!!!

MN: Well, Burgerman, looks to me like IrishRed is gonna settle his score right into an early grave. Okay, maybe this guy can beat Hans the Incontinent Viking or the Mongolian Monkeyboy, but he's in a whole different ballgame now!

DT: I wouldn't sell IrishRed short, Neels. This guy has been around this business, and if you look at the fury in his face right now -

DM: - I agree, Dave Thomas. IrishRed has been humiliated and brought low by Dan Ryan, and tonight is his change to pay that back in spades!

MN: The only spade around here is the one Dan Ryan's gonna be using to BURY IrishRed! Woooo!

DT: These two men squaring off in the ring - God, they're just dying to get at each other, and referee David Rosenkrantz can barely hold them apart!

[SFX: *DING* - The bell rings.]

DT: Rosenkrantz back out of ground zero and RYAN JUST LEVELS IRISHRED WITH A HUGE RIGHT HAND TO THE FACE! IrishRed hits the mat like a ton of bricks and now Ryan putting the boots to him! The Ego Buster just stomping away at the IrishRed like a wild dog!

DM: He's got him backed up into the corner and we're just seconds into this match!

DT: Ryan just putting those huge boat-sized feet to the head and chest of IrishRed! Now grabs him by the hair and SLAMS his head into the turnbuckle, and Red's stunned right from the get-go!

MN: The boss is just LAYING down the LAW here! IrishRed doesn't have a chance in Hell!

DT: Now Ryan picks up IrishRed - BIG body slam, and now he's heading out under the bottom rope and to the floor! He's... heading our way?

MN: Oh hey boss!

RYAN, offmic: Get up, Neely.

MN: --Oh, uh, okay! Kick his ass, boss!

DT: Well, fans, Dan Ryan has just taken Mike Neely's chair and we're barely a minute into this match!

DM: He's just hitting the gas and taking off, Dave, and - wait a second - IRISHRED IS UP ON THE APRON AND HE COMES DOWN ONTO DAN RYAN WITH A DOUBLE AXEHANDLE TO THE HEAD!

DT: IrishRed out of nowhere with the axehandle off the apron, and Ryan falls back over our table! IrishRed laying the huge lefts and rights into the face of the big man! -Oh, watch out, they're falling right over our table!

MN: Geez! Look at them go!

DT: Red getting the better of it - grabs a MONITOR and SLAMS IT AGAINST THE FOREHEAD OF DAN RYAN! Ryan's in a daze - Red pulls him up and SHOVES him over the barricade and into the audience!

DM: Like the parting of the Red Sea, the fans are making way for Dan Ryan and IrishRed!

DT: Now Red over the barricade with the monitor in hand, but a dazed Dan Ryan is on his feet... Red swings the MONITOR - OH MY GOD DAN RYAN JUST USED A FAN AS A HUMAN SHIELD!!! THAT INNOCENT FAN JUST GOT SMASHED IN THE FACE WITH A TV MONITOR AND HE'S DOWN LIKE A TON OF BRICKS!

DM: HOLY ####! We are SO SUED - AND NOW RYAN BLASTS IRISHRED IN THE FACE WITH A HUGE FIST! ANOTHER ONE and IrishRed's falling back against the ring barricade!

MN: Geez, this match has barely started and already, the carnage!

DT: Ryan taking ahold of the arm of IrishRed - Irish whip to the Irishman straight down the aisle - OH, an EPW security guard just stuck his FOOT out and TRIPPED IrishRed, and down goes the smaller man!

DM: And there you see one of Dan Ryan's biggest advantages: He's got the entire EPW staff on his side, and he's not afraid to use them to get an edge here tonight! Who else are we going to see coming out of the woodwork to attack IrishRed?

DT: Ryan with Neely's chair in hand now, stalking manfully up the aisle... takes a HUGE overhand swing at IrishRed, but Red rolls out of the way just in time! Ryan swings again, but Red gets out of the way in the nick of time and jumps back through the doors into the concession area! Ryan's right behind him and RED KICKS THE DOORS CLOSED AND SMASHES THEM INTO RYAN!

DM: Ryan stunned - and Red opens the doors and FLIES THROUGH WITH A CLOTHESLINE! RYAN'S DOWN!

MN: Aaaaah! He can't do that!

DT: It's a street fight, Mike Neely - anything goes, and IrishRed is using that to his advantage! Red picks up Neely's chair - and SLAMS IT ACROSS THE BACK OF DAN RYAN, AND THE EGO BUSTER IS HOWLING IN PAIN! AGAIN RED WITH THE CHAIR, AND ONE MORE FOR THE ROAD!

MN: Somebody stop him! How dare he use my chair for those wicked purposes!

DT: Red tossing the chair aside now and going for the cover! One - TWO - Ryan kicks out with authority!

DM: A few chair shots won't take the Ego Buster down; he's a former World Champion in his own right and he can take a LOT of punishment!

DT: With a heave IrishRed pulls Ryan up from the floor and drags him through the door by the arm, into the lobby and concession area... SHOVES Dan Ryan up against a solid brick wall and lays in a few chops! Ryan's still dazed, but he reels with the blows!

MN: Somebody's got to stop that dwarf! Aaaah!

DT: There's the Irish whip by IrishRed - DAN RYAN SMACKS FACE-FIRST INTO THE OPPOSITE WALL, JUST FEET AWAY, AND STUMBLES RIGHT BACK INTO IRISHRED! Red turns - OH MY GOD GERMAN SUPLEX ONTO THE UNFORGIVING TILE FLOOR!!!

DM: HE HOLDS ON FOR A BRIDGE!

ONE -

TWO -

RYAN KICKS OUT!

DT: Good GOD, I think I see CRACKS in those tiles!

MN: I think I see cracks in the boss' NECK! Damn that IrishRed!

DT: Dan Ryan is seeing STARS here as a visibly intent IrishRed pulls him off the floor! Chops for good measure, and Ryan's weaving on his feet! Irish whip by the smaller man - WAIT, RYAN IS SOMEHOW ABLE TO REVERSE IT - IRISHRED GOES FLYING INTO THE T-SHIRT STAND AND THE WHOLE THING COLLAPSES!!!

DM: And DOWN GOES RYAN, too! He pulled that whip out of NOWHERE, and now he's down and holding his head in pain!

DT: But look at IrishRed! He's struggling to pull himself out of the wreckage, dazed, hurt... AND HE'S GOT A LINDSAY TROY T-SHIRT SOMEHOW TANGLED OVER HIS HEAD!!!

MN: Haha! That's the best I've ever seen him look!

DT: --Wait a second, THE T-SHIRT GUY JUST SLUGGED IRISHRED IN THE BACK! IT'S ANOTHER OF DAN RYAN'S CRONIES! IRISH RED TURNS AND POPS THE T-SHIRT GUY IN THE MOUTH, AND DOWN HE GOES!

DM: AND HERE COMES THE JANITOR!!!

DT: OUT OF NOWHERE HERE COMES JIMMY THE JANITOR WITH MOP IN HAND! CRACKS IRISH RED IN THE BACK WITH IT! RED FALLS TO HIS KNEES! JIMMY THE JANITOR AGAIN - NO, RED SPEARS HIM TO THE GROUND AND PUNCHES HIM IN THE HEAD SIX OR EIGHT TIMES!

MN: GO, MINOR SERVICE STAFF! SAVE GRAND MASTER DAN RYAN!!!

DT: THIS IS DESPICABLE! The service staff ATTACKING IrishRed while Dan Ryan just stands there recovering his wind and laughing! And IrishRed is ENRAGED! RUSHES Dan Ryan - NO, Ryan BOOTS HIM RIGHT IN THE FACE AND KNOCKS HIM TO THE TILE FLOOR!

MN: Hey, there's an idea! When IrishRed loses this match and gets thrown out of the business he could get a job polishing boots for a living! Haha!

DM: When?

DT: Ryan not letting IrishRed recover; he grabs him by the neck and pulls him to his feet, drags him over to the hot dog stand and BASHES his face on it! There's a line of fans there just waiting to be served!

MN: What's he doing now- he's going behind the hot dog stand!

[RYAN: Hi, somebody order a weenie?]

DT: -- MY GOD, CHOKESLAM!!! CHOKESLAM!!! DAN RYAN WITH THE HUGE CHOKESLAM AND HE DRILLS IRISHRED THROUGH THE WEENIE STAND!!! GOOD GOD, THE CARNAGE!!! AND IRISHRED HAS BEEN BUSTED OPEN PRETTY BAD!!!

[RYAN: One jumbo-sized weenie, good to go!]

DT: THIS IS JUST DISRESPECTFUL AND SICK!! -AW, AND NOW HE PUTS THE FOOT ON IRISHRED'S CHEST!

One -

TWO -

IRISHRED KICKED OUT!!!

DM: What heart IrishRed has! He's not going to quit until he's given Dan Ryan everything he's got!

MN: No, he's gonna quit TONIGHT! Haha!

DT: Dan Ryan is not happy with this! He pulls a bloodied Red to his feet by the hair, and just belts him in the face! And again! Now picks him up press-slam style - my god, Ryan's CARRYING IrishRed through the lobby like a toy!

MN: Where's he goin'?

DM: Looks like he's heading for the exit!

DT: Ryan with IrishRed held high over his head, stops in front of the big glass front doors...GOOD GOD, HE'S GONNA THROW HIM THROUGH THE DOORS!!! NO! NO, BOSS, DON'T DO IT! GOOD GOD, DON'T DO IT -

DM: --HE DID IT!!! AAAH!!!

DT: MY GOD!!! DAN RYAN JUST HURLED IRISHRED AT THOSE GLASS DOORS AND SOMEHOW THE GLASS HELD!!! THERE'S A HUGE SPIDERWEB OF CRACKS WHERE RED HIT THE GLASS BUT IRISHRED DIDN'T BREAK THROUGH AND NOW HE'S ON THE FLOOR IN A HEAP!!!

MN: AWWWWH!

DM: IrishRed isn't moving, guys! He hit that door pretty hard!

DT: Ryan looking down at the limp IrishRed and SMIRKING! Now poking him with the toe of his boot!

MN: It's SO over.

DT: With a chuckle Ryan reaches down to pick up the limp IrishRed... my God... I can't believe he's gonna put him through more Hell!

DM: -- WAIT A SECOND, RED WITH THE DROP TOE HOLD--

***KSSSSSH***

DT: OH MY GOD!!! OH MY GOD!!! RED WITH THE DROP TOE HOLD AND DAN RYAN JUST WENT FALLING FORWARD TO SMASH THROUGH THAT GLASS DOOR!!! MY GOD, THE CARNAGE!!! THE CARNAGE!!!

MN: MY GOD, HE KILLED HIM!!! RYAN'S BLEEDING FROM A THOUSAND LITTLE GLASS CUTS!!!

DT: DAN RYAN WANTED TO SEND IRISHRED THROUGH THE GLASS BUT IRISHRED, IN DESPERATION, GAVE HIM A PIECE OF HIS OWN MEDICINE -- MY GOD, IRISHRED LEAPS THROUGH THE DOORFRAME!!! COLD SHOT!!! THAT KNEE TO THE KIDNEYS OF DAN RYAN!!!

MN: NO!!! IT CAN'T END LIKE THIS!!!

DT: IRISHRED WITH THE COVER!!!

ONE!!!


TWO!!!



THREE!!!



--NO!!! REFEREE ROSENKRANTZ IS SAYING DAN RYAN GOT THAT SHOULDER UP IN TIME!!!

MN: YEEEEEEEESSSSS!!!

DM: Dan Ryan just got THROWN THROUGH A GLASS DOOR and had a KNEE SLAMMED INTO HIS KIDNEYS, and he still kicked out! I guess waiting to catch his wind back there while the staff beat up IrishRed paid off!

DT: IrishRed doesn't believe it! He rolls Dan Ryan over into the glass and starts POUNDING ON HIS FACE WITH BOTH HANDS, and oh god Dan Ryan's bleeding from all over his forehead!

MN: Look at what IrishRed's done to him! That's horrible!

DT: Those hard right hands to the SKULL of the owner of EPW, and IrishRed now coming to his feet - looking around for something he can use as a weapon! Looks like he's also bleeding from the forehead heavily! Guess he hit that glass pretty hard himself!

DM: Both of these men have taken a lot of punishment already!

DT: Uh-oh, IrishRed spots... something! He starts down the big flight of stairs leading up to the arena... hey, look, there's a couple of bums out there huddled around a burning drum of something!

MN: --Hahaha! IrishRed just pulled the coat off a bum!

DT: IrishRed with that ratty, smelly bum's coat held in both hands... my God... MY GOD IRISHRED JUST TOOK THE COAT BY THE SLEEVES AND WHIPPED THE OTHER END OF IT INTO THE BURNING DRUM!!!

DM: IRISHRED HAS A ******* FLAMING WHIP!!!

DT: DAMMIT, SOMEONE NEEDS TO STOP THIS MATCH!!! THIS IS JUST INHUMANE AND WRONG!!! IRISHRED STARTING UP THE STAIRS, THAT FLAMING COAT SPINNING ABOVE HIS HEAD!!! Ryan's just made it up to a knee!

MN: SOMEONE STOP HIM -

DT: IRISHRED WHIPS THAT FLAMING COAT ACROSS DAN RYAN'S BACK, AND RYAN IS SCREAMING IN AGONY!!! THIS ISN'T RIGHT!!! GOD, IRISHRED AGAIN FLOGGING RYAN ACROSS THE BACK WITH THE FIREBRAND, AND LOOK AT THE ANGRY RED MARKS ACROSS DAN RYAN'S BODY!!! SOMEONE NEEDS TO STOP THIS RIGHT NOW!!!

DM: IRISHRED HAS SNAPPED!!! LISTEN TO HIM CURSING AND HOWLING AS HE HAMMERS AT DAN RYAN WITH THAT FLAMING BUM COAT!!!

DT: THIS IS JUST INHUMAN!!! IRISHRED IS NOT LETTING UP!!!

DM: --RYAN SUDDENLY SPRINGS UP FROM THE GROUND AND SPEARS THE HOLY HELL OUT OF IRISHRED WITH ONE HUGE BURST OF ADRENALINE!!!

DT: SPEAR!!! THAT SPEAR COULD'VE KNOCKED OUT A BRICK WALL AND OH MY GOD BOTH MEN FALL OFF THE STAIR AND THEY'RE TUMBLING ALL THE WAY DOWN FROM TOP TO BOTTOM! LISTENING TO THOSE SICKENING THUDS AS DAN RYAN AND IRISHRED BOUNCE DOWN THOSE COLD AND UNFORGIVING CONCRETE STAIRS!!!

MN: AAAAH! They probably broke something!

DT: Well, looks like IrishRed dropped that flaming coat near the top of the stairs, but both men have hit the bottom and are lying there bleeding and hurt! I can't believe the carnage we have already seen tonight, but it looks like both men are starting to stir!

MN: Dan Ryan has been on the bad end of a lot of this stuff, but what goes around, comes around! IrishRed isn't gonna make it!

DM: They're slowly getting up!

DT: With a little help from the railing, Dan Ryan is the first to make it to his feet, however, unsteadily... IrishRed on his hands and knees, crawling across the concrete... Ryan staggers after him... pulls him to his feet and SLAMS him face-first into - wait, that wasn't there a minute ago!

DM: It's a bus! Ryan just slammed IrishRed into the side of a Greyhound bus that just pulled up!

MN: Maybe when Red loses this match he can DRIVE that bus for a living!

DT: Ryan turns Red around - chop across the chest! Red reverses him! Chop! Another chop! Ryan reverses again! Now Red - and they've reversed their way to the door and - WHAT THE HELL LOOK WHO JUST JUMPED OFF THE BUS!!!

MN: IT'S ICE TRE!!!

[Leaping out of the bus with a chortle, Ice Tre brandishes a 2x4! Both Ryan and IrishRed seem thrown off by the distraction.]

DM: IrishRed is, of course, yet ANOTHER participant in the upcoming King of the Cage tournament and -- Tre is cocking back with that heavy 2x4!!

DT: He SWINGS for RED! RED DUCKS!!!

MN: Tre BLASTS the BOSS with a 2x4!!! Dan Ryan goes down!! Ice Tre drops it in shock and dismay!!

DT: Irish Red KICKS Tre in the gut, hooks him -- DDT ONTO THE 2X4!!! Tre is busted open!!

DM: And Irish Red goes right back on task, going after Dan Ryan with that 2x4!! Tre is being helped away by those two bums, he is bleeding proFUSEly!

DT: What a NIGHT!

MN: You gotta hand it to Tre, the stupid bastard! He takes a beating and keeps on coming!

DT: But he just inserted himself into a WARZONE!

DM: Welcome to EPW, Ice Tre!!!

DT: Now Red pulling Dan Ryan to his feet... slams him against the side of the bus - which happens to be the OPEN DOOR and BOTH MEN tumble aboard the Greyhound!

[CUT TO: The bus. The passengers gasp in surprise.]

DM: Dan Ryan and IrishRed are on a bus!

DT: Ryan manages to shove Red up against the toll box and starts hammering at the head and shoulders - Wait a minute, the bus driver just broke it up!

[DRIVER: No shenanigans on the bus!]

MN: What?! This isn't shenanigans, it's wrestling!

DM: Ryan and Red just look at the bus driver, and I think they're both out of it!

[DRIVER: C'mon, pay the fares!]

DT: I don't think Dan Ryan realized it, but he's just pulled out a crisp new twenty-dollar bill from his trunks and paid the bus driver!

[DRIVER: Siddown. Next stop, Vegas!]

DM: VEGAS?!

MN: WHAT?!

DT: MY GOD, DAN RYAN AND IRISH RED ARE ON A GREYHOUND BUS TO VEGAS!!! And now they're looking at each other, realizing what's happening... Red DECKS RYAN IN THE FACE BUT THE BUS DRIVER BREAKS IT UP!!!

[DRIVER: HEY! I said NO SHENANIGANS!!!]

DM: Wait a...

DT: Ryan and Red looking at each other again, looking at the referee David Rosenkrantz who is ALSO on the bus...

MN: But... but what's gonna happen to the match?!

DT: Well, I dunno, but Ryan and Red are shuffling to the back of the bus and taking their seats, with the referee between them, and it looks like we're going to Vegas!

MN: But- but the match!

DT: I... don't know what's going to happen, Neels, but I guess we'll have to take a break and move on to the next contest while Dan Ryan and IrishRed are on the road to the City of Sin!

DM: Man... this match is NOT over! We will come RIGHT back to watch the action!

LATER THAT NIGHT….

[CUT TO: The Greyhound bus, roaring through the night en route to Las Vegas. Dan Ryan and IrishRed, sitting with referee Rosenkrantz between them, are doing their best to NOT reach across the official and kill each other. Somewhere off-camera, some old lady can be vaguely heard babbling about her grandkids.]

DT: Hey, we're back on the bus!

[Ryan sighs, boredly.]

RYAN: ...So.

IRISHRED: So.

RYAN: Ever been to Vegas?

IRISHRED: Yeah.

RYAN: 'S nice.

IRISHRED: Yeah.

RYAN: Yeah.

[There's silence.]

IRISHRED: I've gotta pee.

[Red gets up and makes for the washroom.]

RYAN: Me too.

[He follows suit. The referee does too, and all three men file into the washroom, along with the cameraman. Red locks the door.]

DT: --OH, DAN RYAN SLAMS HIS FIST INTO IRISHRED'S FACE AND KNOCKS HIM AGAINST THE BACK WALL OF THE WASHROOM!!! RED FALLS BACK AND RYAN GRABS THE PLUNGER AND STARTS BASHING HIM OVER THE HEAD WITH IT!!!

MN: Hahahaha! Fighting in the washroom of a Greyhound bus! That's a first!

DM: How do they even FIT into that tiny stall?!

DT: I don't know, but IrishRed just grabbed the business end of the plunger! Yanks it out of Ryan's hands! DRIVES THE BUTT INTO HIS STOMACH!!! DDT!!! DDT ON THE FLOOR OF THE GREYHOUND BUS WASHROOM!!!

DM: Red grabbing Ryan by the hair now...

MN: Oh no...

DT: OH NO!!! OH GOD HE JUST PUSHED DAN RYAN'S FACE INTO THE TOILET AND HIT THE FLUSH!!! DAN RYAN IS STRUGGLING LIKE A WILD ANIMAL BUT IRISHRED IS NOT LETTING UP!!!

MN: THIS IS CRUEL AND UNUSUAL!!! WHAT THE HELL!!!

DM: I CAN'T BELIEVE... THAT LOWLIFE SLIMEBALL IRISHRED!!!

DT: RED SLAMS HIS FIST AGAINST THE BACK OF RYAN'S HEAD! AGAIN - RYAN JUST REARS BACK AND ROARS, SLAMMING IRISHRED INTO THE WALL OF THE BUS!!! ELBOW TO THE GUT OF IRISHRED!!! TAKES HIM BY THE HEAD AND SMASHES HIM FACE-FIRST INTO THE MIRROR, AND IT SHATTERS INTO A MILLION LITTLE FRAGMENTS!!!

MN: Hahaha! Seven years' bad luck for IrishRed!

DT: RED BLEEDING FROM THE FOREHEAD AGAIN--

[There's a knock on the door.]

OLD LADY: Hurry up, ya young whippersnappers! I have ta use the facilities!

[Red and Ryan look at each other. The referee opens the door, and the men file out, letting the little old bitty dodder into the washroom.]

OLD LADY: Oh my, what a mess! Who's responsible fer all this?

[Ryan, Red, and the cameraman all point at referee Rosenkrantz.]

RYAN/RED/CAMERAMAN: Him.

ROSENKRANTZ: What th-

OLD LADY: Oh my, back in my day we had respect for others' property-

[Ryan slams the washroom door shut.]

ROSENKRANTZ: You guys are losers.

[Ryan and Red don't answer him. They shuffle towards the back of the bus and sit down. In passing, the cameraman turns the shot to a middle-aged couple whispering to each other.]

WIFE: [Frank, did you hear all the commotion in there? Four grown men in a washroom stall?]

FRANK: [Well, what do you expect from those queers, Margaret.]

MN: --What did he just-

DT: Folks, it looks like the match is again on hold, so let's get back to Los Angeles!

LATER THAT NIGHT….

DT: We’re back! And I’m told we’re finally receiving video from the street fight!

[CUT TO: A bus stop somewhere... where a Greyhound has pulled in. With a rumble of its engine the vehicle begins to pull away, revealing Dan Ryan and IrishRed standing at the bus stop, refreshed and mysteriously cleaned up.]

DT: Well, folks, it looks like Dan Ryan and IrishRed have made it to Las Vegas!

[Ryan and Red look at each other.]

RYAN: Well. Viva Las Vegas.

DT: --OH, Ryan wasting NO time here DRIVING that big foot into the gut of IrishRed! Red shoots forward and slams Ryan into the wall behind him! Ryan hammering on Red's back - throws him off, to the sidewalk!

MN: Where ARE they, anyway?

DM: Looks like they're... somewhere on the strip, apparently.

DT: IrishRed down on the sidewalk, whirling to his feet - oops, he backed into the street and my GOD HE ALMOST GOT RAN OVER BY A CAB! This is dangerous!

DM: Look at Ryan! He's just STALKING towards Red like an ANIMAL, FORCING him to back into the traffic!

DT: Red's backing into the road and BY GOD THAT BEETLE JUST ABOUT RAN INTO HIM! Oh, look out, IrishRed! Watch out for the van!

MN: Sweet, there goes a 'vette!

DM: IrishRed's turning tail and just bolting across the road!

DT: Dan Ryan hot on IrishRed's heels as he chases him across the Vegas strip -

MN: He's heading for those, uh, those big towers there!

DT: Looks like IrishRed is making a beeline for the Mandalay Bay complex, and Dan Ryan is hot on his heels, chasing him through the crowds of people lining the sidewalk - wait a minute, Red's getting tangled in the crowd - Ryan catches up with him and SLUGS him in the back but Red keeps going!

DM: IrishRed knows he needs to get into clear waters before he can stand a chance against the Ego Buster! Look at all these shocked people!

MN: They don't know WHAT to do!

DT: Red bolting up the way to the building - bursts through the front doors and into the lobby, and Dan Ryan is right behind him! Now IrishRed running past a stand of brochures, grabbing a handful, and he throws them back into Dan Ryan's face! Ryan's batting the fluttering brochures away, but he's been slowed down a little!

DM: Wait, Red's coming right at him - SPEARS DAN RYAN OUT OF HIS BOOTS AND DOWN TO THE FLOOR!!!

DT: IrishRed comes down on top of Ryan and starts pounding on him with rights and lefts! Ryan covering up but Red is like a bulldog here!

MN: The boss'll get him! Just you wait!

DT: Wait a second - OHHHMYGOD RYAN JUST GRABS IRISHRED AND PICKS HIM UP OVER HIS HEAD LIKE A STRUGGLING CHILD!!! Carries him into the lobby - oh God, eyeing those SLOT MACHINES - no, boss, don't do it! - OH GOD HE LAWN DARTS IRISHRED FACE FIRST INTO A SLOT MACHINE AND DID YOU HEAR THAT SICKENING CRASH!!!

MN: --Ahahaha! Look at that! IrishRed hit the jackpot!

DT: Those, those tokens are just spilling out over the body of IrishRed!

MN: Well, he may be dead, but he'll die rich!

DT: A smirking Dan Ryan advancing on his prone foe - wait, IrishRed stirs! He's flinging those tokens at Dan Ryan like bullets! The big man covers up to block the assault!

DM: Hey, look, what's that waitress doing here?

MN: Is that a martini?

DT: Red pings another token off of Ryan - grabs the drink tray from the waitress - sets the martini aside and NAILS RYAN IN THE FACE WITH THE DRINK TRAY! The Ego Buster's stunned... And now IrishRed... sips the martini!

MN: Shaken, not stirred -

DT: -AND THEN HE SHAKES DAN RYAN'S BRAINS WITH A VICIOUS SUPERKICK AND I THINK HE JUST TOOK THE BOSS' HEAD OFF!!!

MN: Booooo! IrishRed is an Octo*****!

DM: I dunno, it looks to me like he's got a license to kill here tonight!

DT: Oh no, and Red just dumped the rest of that martini on Dan Ryan! What a sickening thing to do - OH GOD AND NOW HE SMASHES THE GLASS IN DAN RYAN'S FACE AND THE BOSS HOWLS IN PAIN!!! DEAR GOD, TALK ABOUT SALT IN A MAN'S WOUNDS!!!

DM: ...That has to be the most unique adaptation I've seen when it comes to smashing a bottle of beer in a guy's face.

DT: Red not relenting here! Takes Dan Ryan by the hair - drags him through the lobby and SLAMS his face against a wall! Now pulls him back - hooks him up - GOD, SPEARS HIM THROUGH A NEARBY SET OF DOUBLE DOORS!!!

MN: --Hey, look!

DT: Th-that's the corridor to the Events Center! And it looks like there's something going on - uh-oh!

[CUT TO: The camera pans up to a wrestling ring in the middle of the Events Center. There is a sign posted from the rafters.]

DT: UCW?!

DM: Whoa, it's an Ultimate Championship Wrestling show!

MN: Oh, snap! This is gonna be like when we had to bleep out <BEEP> on TV, isn't it?!

DM: They still beep it out? Why, that's just- GXW!!! <beep>-ha I beat the censor!

DT: I can't believe this! Dan Ryan and IrishRed have coincidentally ended up at a UCW show, and IrishRed has just thrown Ryan into the crowd! Ryan struggles to get away and reaches the barricade... Red heads after him - kick to the gut by Red! Calling for the DDT - wait no RYAN BACK BODY DROPS IRISH RED OVER THE BARRICADE AND DOWN TO RINGSIDE!!!

MN: Look at that! The two guys in the ring don't know WHAT to make of all this!

[CUT TO: The ring. Two jobbers are watching Ryan and Red in confusion!]

DT: A bloody and infuriated Dan Ryan in control now! Fishes a steel chair out of the crowd... he's tapping it against the ground and waiting for Red to get up... SMASHES HIM RIGHT IN THE ******* FACE WITH THE UNFORGIVING STEEL!!! IRISHRED HITS THE FLOOR AND HE MIGHT AS WELL BE DEAD!!!

DM: Ryan's not finished yet!

MN: Get 'im, boss! Kick his ass!

DT: Ryan slams the chair down onto IrishRed's prone body! And one more time! And again he brings that brutal steel down onto the twitching corpse of the Irishman! The fury in Dan Ryan's face is palpable!

DM: He wants to end IrishRed's life! He's been taken out of EPW and dragged all the way here, and he wants blood!

DT: One of the UCW talents stepping through the ropes to get a closer look... OH GOD RYAN JUST SLAMMED THAT CHAIR INTO THE SKULL OF THE UCW PROSPECT!!! AND AGAIN!!! HE'S FURIOUS AND LASHING OUT AT ANYTHING THAT PISSES HIM OFF!!! And now he storms over to IrishRed - grabs him by the arm and drags him up, and WHIPS HIM BODILY INTO THE RING STAIRS!

MN: He shook the stairs right off the pole!

DM: Dan Ryan is a man possessed! He's seething with fury and he is NOT going to let IrishRed walk away from this match with his life! Those two UCW kids had better stay out of his way!

DT: Now Ryan, picking up IrishRed... oh, Red's been busted open by those chairshots! Look at the blood running down his face! God, what a gory mess he is, and Dan Ryan rolls him into the ring - climbs in after him and LEVELS THE OTHER UCW GUY WITH THAT DAMN STEEL CHAIR!!!

DM: There's still blood spattered across the chair!

DT: AND AGAIN RYAN DRIVES THAT CHAIR DOWN ONTO THE FALLEN RED! Drops to a knee and picks him up by the hair - DRIVING THAT HUGE FIST INTO THE CUT ON IRISHRED'S FOREHEAD! RED SCREAMING IN PAIN!!!

MN: As he should be! He's getting what he deserves for attacking our company! He's getting what he deserves for talking crap about Dan Ryan's daughter!

DT: Dropping Red to the ground, Ryan comes up again and SLAMS a boot down onto Red's face! Sizes him up - wait, one of the UCW guys is getting up - Ryan DRIVES a boot into his gut! Now sets him up -- CALLING FOR IT -- OH GOD, look where he's standing, right near Red! HOISTS UP THE PROSPECT - HUMILITY BOMB!!! HUMILITY BOMB ONTO IRISHRED!!! THE WEIGHT OF THAT UCW WRESTLER COMES CRASHING DOWN ONTO IRISHRED'S BROKEN BODY!!! RYAN ROLLS THE KID OFF!!! GOES FOR THE COVER!!!

ONE -


TWO -



THREE!



--NO!!! NO!!! IRISHRED KICKED OUT!!!

MN: AAAAAH! That was three!

DM: Ohhh no, so close! Red got the shoulder up just in time! Good lord, it was almost over!

DT: Ryan can't believe it! He thought this match was his! Not wasting a minute, though - grabs Red by the hair and throws him violently against the turnbuckles! SLAMS THE CHAIR INTO HIS FACE!!! Now dropping the chair behind him - Ryan grabs Red and OH NORTHERN LIGHTS SUPLEX ONTO THE CHAIR!!! HOLDS ON!!! ONE -

TWO -


THREE - NO, IRISHRED KICKED OUT!

DM: IrishRed is reaching down deep inside and pulling out the will to survive! You have to admire the guts of this man, to survive in the ring and a state away with a furious Dan Ryan!

MN: There's such a thing as too MUCH guts! Stay down, Red!

DT: A furious Dan Ryan reaching for the chair - wait a minute, here comes UCW security! UCW security flooding the ring! Ryan NAILS one of the guards with the chair! Another! Down goes a third! Another guard catches him from behind! Ryan pushes him into the other guards!

DM: We are SO sued! **** **** ****, we are SO SUED!

DT: Ryan levels another guard, and they've just taken the hint and made their way outside the ring! Ryan beginning to turn - RED'S ON HIS KNEES - COLLAPSES UP BEHIND RYAN - OH GOD!!! LOW BLOW!!! LOW BLOW TO THE OWNER OF THE COMPANY!!!

MN: BOOOOOO! DQ! DQ!

DM: There are no DQs! It's a fight! Dan Ryan's attention got pulled away and IrishRed managed to recover!

DT: But IrishRed is still exhausted! He's still kneeling on the mat, bloodied and winded! Can he find the energy to capitalize on this?!

DM: It's his only chance!

DT: Dan Ryan down on the canvas holding his goods! IrishRed slowly fighting to his feet! Picks up the chair and SMACKS it down across Ryan's back, and Ryan's the one doing the hurting now!

MN: No! Someone stop the match!

DT: Again Red waffles Ryan with the chair! Now throws it to the mat... rolls Dan Ryan on top of it, face-down, and he's heading to the top rope! The UCW crowd is on its feet! The crowd here in LA is on its feet!

MN: No! He can't do this!

DT: IRISHRED OFF THE TOP!!! COLD SHOT!!! THAT BRUTAL KNEE DRIVING INTO THE BODY OF DAN RYAN!!! AND HE GRABS AN ANKLELOCK!!! IT'S THE DOUBLE TROUBLE!!! THAT ANKLELOCK WITH THE KNEE TO THE KIDNEY OF THE BOSS!!! RYAN HOWLING IN AGONY!!!

MN: WHAT?! SOMEONE STOP HIM!!!

DM: RYAN HAS TO FIGHT OUT OF IT!!! There ARE no rope breaks in a street fight!

DT: Ryan screaming in pain! He's trying to get away but IrishRed is weighing down on him! IrishRed wrenching at that ankle! This one's gonna be over!

DM: Ryan's going to have to muster all of his strength! If he can't break his way out of this anklelock he's going to have to give up!

DT: Gritting his teeth, Ryan tries to roll over - Red braces with his other leg! Ryan can't budge him!

MN: Listen to him groaning! This is inhuman! It can't end like this!

DM: Ryan rocking and howling like a man possessed! Trying to get out of the anklelock! Setting his shoulders - OH MY GOD-

DT: WITH EVERY OUNCE OF STRENGTH DAN RYAN HEAVES TO HIS FEET!!! IRISHRED CRASHES OFF OF HIS BACK AND HITS THE FLOOR, HEADFIRST!!! WHAT A SHOW OF STRENGTH BY THE OWNER OF EPW, DAN RYAN!!!

MN: Yeaaaah! EPW rules!

DT: Red tries to chop out one of the legs - RYAN JUST SNAPS A HEEL BACK AND KICKS HIM RIGHT IN THE JAW! RED GOES DOWN! I think he just spit up blood!

DM: He did! Looks like something's busted up inside!

MN: Good! Serves him right! He really IS a bloody idiot!

DT: Looks like Dan Ryan is back in control... favouring that ankle as he picks up the reeling Red... heaves him off the CANVAS... OH MY GOD HE JUST PRESSED RED OVER THE TOP ROPE AND DOWN ACROSS THE BARRICADE!!! RED'S TORSO CRASHES DOWN OVER THAT STEEL RAIL!!! MY GOD!!! MY GOD!!!

DM: AAAAH!!! HE'S DEAD!!! DAN RYAN HAS JUST ******* KILLED IRISHRED!!!

MN: GO BOSS!!! NOW PISS ON HIS CORPSE!!!

DT: My GOD! What an absolutely brutal throw by Ryan! IrishRed is LIMP! He's probably broken a few ribs! Ryan now... oh God, Ryan picking up Red... grabs the dislodged base of the stairs... sets IrishRed up in front of it! MY GOD, HE'S CALLING FOR THE HUMILITY BOMB!!!

DM: THERE'S NO WAY IRISHRED CAN BLOCK THIS! If Ryan POWERBOMBS him onto that STEEL --

DT: Ryan brings him up - WAIT, SOMEONE JUST SLUGGED RYAN IN THE BACK!!! RYAN DROPS RED HARMLESSLY --

[The crowd roars.]

DT: OH MY GOD!!! IT'S BEAST!!! IT'S BEAST!!! BEAST JUST CLUBBED DAN RYAN IN THE BACK!!! SPINS HIM AROUND!!! BEAST!!! THE RIGHT HAND!!! THE RIGHT HAND AGAIN!!! MY GOD, I CAN'T BELIEVE BEAST IS BEATING THE HELL OUT OF DAN RYAN!!!

DM: WHAAAAAAT?!?!

MN: BIG LOAFY?!?! NO WAY!!!

DT: MY GOD, THE SECOND MAN TO HOLD THE TITLE OF EPW WORLD CHAMPION!!! BEAST WITH THE KICK TO THE GUT!!! RYAN'S DOUBLED OVER!!! HOOK TO THE ARMS!!! OH MY GOD, ABSOLUTION!!! ON THE STEEL!!! BEAST DRIVES DAN RYAN'S SKULL INTO THAT UNFORGIVING STEEL STAIR AND I THINK DAN RYAN IS A ******* CORPSE RIGHT NOW!!!

MN: WHAT THE HELL IS THE MEANING OF THIS!!!

DT: BEAST DRAGGING IRISHRED ON TOP OF RYAN!!! Referee Rosenkrantz looks lost - but he's counting anyway!

One!


TWO!!!



THREEEEE!!! IT'S OVER!!! IT'S OVER!!! BEAST HAS JUST <i>SCREWED</i> DAN RYAN OUT OF HIS OWN COMPANY!!!

MN: Wh- IRISHRED IS OUR NEW BOSS?!?!

DM: I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS!!! WE HAVE A NEW OWNER!!! And it's all thanks to BEAST of all people!

[CUT TO: IrishRed still on top of Ryan, dazed and barely aware of what's happening. Beast stands over the pair of them, arms crossed, looking entirely pleased with himself.]

ROSENKRANTZ: The winner of the match - IrishRed!

 

[DBrunkGXW]

Beast [c] vs. Joey Melton - Aggression 16 - World Title Match

[CUT TO: Karl “The Dragon” Brown, sitting in front of an EPW backdrop.]

Karl: Take a legend and a Beast and you get an incredible main event for Aggression. This is one of those moments where the entire locker-room is huddling round monitors and being told to shut up by the Gorilla position. And when Lindsay walked out, there was definitely a sense of... well for me, a sense of being a fan again.

To set it up a bit, though, Dan'd been trying to get Beast to cheat for a couple of shows. Kind of "embrace the darkside", but Beast being Beast wouldn't go along with it. You knew when Dan joined Lindsay on the rampway that something was up, and when Beast got out of the way of Joey coming off the top... well, Joey showed he wasn't just picking up a cheque, let's put it that way. His hip was probably hurting that night.

I really loved the near-fall sequence they did, with Beast showing that he could be vulnerable but at the same time strong-willed enough to kick out and not join Dan on the dark side. Then you had Joey showing why he's the real dirtiest player in the game, with the whole complain about closed fist and use a low blow bit. About the only thing that disappointed me, as a fan, was the ending - I really didn't like the DQ finish for shoving Dan. I know they were going for showing Dan to be a jerk, which he plays very well by the way, and we were just before Russian Roulette, but a clean finish would've been nice. But hey, it meant we got some absolute stormers in matches and segments from Marcus and Dan, and Joey went from strength to strength with the Cameron Cruise Project and his eventual split with Lindsay. Can't have your cake and eat it I guess.

[ Cue up: "Can't Do This Anymore" by Nickelback, and the crowd cheers as we return from commercial. ]

[Cut to: The announce table, where the EPW announce crew anxiously awaits. ]

DT: [yelling over the music and the crowd] Folks, welcome back to EPW's Aggression 16, and we're ready for the main event! Tonight, we've got a match that people from all over the world have been anticipating for a long, long, time! The man, the myth, the legend, the Unifier, the consumate entertainer... Joey Melton gets his chance to add yet another World Title to his impressive resume!

MN: How great would it be to see Joey Melton beat Big Loafy right here on Aggression?

DT: It would sure be a huge moment in EPW, Mike, but it's not like this is slam dunk match! Beast has been dominant since winning the EPW World Heavyweight Championship back in May of 2004, when he beat Christian Sands at Unleashed. He's been through tremendous title defenses with Adam Benjamin, a handicapped match against the World Tag Team Champions, three way dances with Benjamin and Boogie Smallz, Troy Douglas... he's beat them all!

DM: Beast has done a great job as Champion, but I have to say that he's likely in for his biggest challenge yet! Joey Melton may be getting a little up there, but lately he's been wrestling as if he's in his twenties again! He's fluid, he's quick, and in the best shape of his life! But the same can be said for Beast! He's fast for a big man - maybe not as fast as Melton though, but he's certainly got the advantage in size and power - he can put you out with the big moves! I can't wait until these two collide!

DT: These two men had a vicious war of words leading up to this match, guys! It was a classic battle of legend vs possible legend in the making... old versus new, entertainer versus athlete.... Melton versus Beast! I don't know what more can be said, gentlemen! These two men were as passionate about their craft as I've ever seen two guys be! They both want this match, albeit for very different reasons, and we'll have to see who comes out on top here tonight!

[ SFX: Bell rings three times. ]

TF: Ladies and gentlemen! It is time for the main event of the evening! Tonight's main event will be a contest for the Empire Pro Wrestling Heavyweight Championship of the world! It will be for one fall, with no time limit! Introducing first, the challenger!

[ Cue up: "I Need A Hero" - Bonnie Tyler, and the crowd lets out a massive, albeit mixed reaction of cheers and boos as Joey Melton steps out to center stage, decked out in a fantastic black robe that sparkles with the light of hundreds of sequins.

TF: He hails from New York City, New York, and is a multiple time World Champion from multiple organizations. He is The Sexual All-American, The Unifier, and tonight, he is the #1 contender to the Heavyweight Championship of the world. This is JOOEEEEEEEY MELLLLLLLTONNNNN!!!

Joey holds out his arms and slowly spins around in a circle, the word "Unifier" in gleaming letters on the back of his robe. Joey then walks down to the ring and enters, where he slowly takes his robe off and hands it to a ring attendant, before bouncing up and down, staying loose for the match, and his music fades out.

TF: And his opponent!

[ The lights in the arena suddenly but down to black and the crowd starts buzzing loudly. The light then come back up, bathing the arena in blue light. ]

[ Cue up: "Figure You Out" by Nickelback, and the crowd starts to cheer loudly! ]

TF: Hailing from Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canada! He is the current A1E Survivor Champion, the Canadian Wrestling Federation World Heavyweight Champion, and he is the reigning and defending Empire Pro Wrestling Heavyweight Champion of the Wooooooorld...

[ A blast of red and white pyro explodes around the stage, and the crowd explodes as Beast steps through the smoke, his EPW title around his waist. ]

TF: This... is...the Alpha Male.... BEEEEEAAAAAST!!

[ Beast stops at center stage to acknowledge the crowds cheers, and he then proceeds down the ramp and into the ring, where he takes off his belt and hands it to senior official Pat Jones, who shows it Joey Melton, who looks at it for several moments, then nods, and Jones then holds the title up in the air for all to see, before handing it to the ring attendant. Jones then turns to both Melton and Beast to ensure they are ready, and calls for the bell!

[ SFX: Bell rings. ]

DT: And we're underway, folks!

Both Beast and Melton come to the center of the ring and the two men stand toe to toe, staring into each other's eyes, trash talking to one another, when Melton raises his hand to take a swing at Beast, and Beast readies himself to block it, but Melton quickly pulls his hand back and runs his hand through his hair, smirking and just toying with the Champion.

MN: That's just fantastic! Melton, ever the antagonist!

DT: He's trying to play games with Beast's mind already!

DM: That's like Einstein playing with alphabet blocks.

Beast smirks back at Melton, and the two men back away from one another and start circling around the ring.

DT: Melton and Beast now locking up in the middle of the ring, and there's a struggle, each man looking to gain the advantage! They're really going at it, trying to take control!

DM: Would you look at that!

DT: Beast just tossed Melton back halfway across the ring! Big power display here from the Champion!

Melton hits the mat on his rear end and bounces back a foot, before looking back up at Beast and smiling that knowing smile. Melton gets back to his feet, and he and Beast again circle the ring before locking up a second time. Again, both men fight for the advantage, before Beast lets out a roar, and once again heaves Melton back across the ring, much to the crowd's delight!

DM: Melton's gotta stay away from Beast's power! He's gotta be quicker than the Champ!

DT: Agreed, Dean! Melton better change his strategy, and quick!

Melton gets back to his feet, and nods at Beast, acknowledging the bigger man's power, before motioning for Beast to bring it on again.

DM: What the hell is he doing?

Beast shrugs and comes after Melton, and both men go to lock up once again, but this time Melton jabs a finger into Beast's eye, stopping the Champion cold!

MN: And there's the experience of Melton, guys! He let Beast think that he was being over worked, but he just suckered Beast right in!

DT: OH MY!! And Melton just grabbed Beast and planted him into the canvas with a big time DDT!

The crowd flinches and groans a bit as they watch Melton slam Beast's head into the canvas, but their attention is suddenly diverted as someone steps out from the back and starts making their way down to the ring.

MN: Now THERE'S a sight for sore eyes! Wow!

The crowd boos as "Queen Of The Ring" Lindsay Troy steps around the ring steps and takes a spot near the apron!

DT: What in the hell is she doing out here?

MN: Don't you watch our own tv show, Burgerman? It's obvious that Troy and Melton haven't been, um... getting along... lately! Maybe she's come out to air some dirty laundry? Maybe they're gonna kiss and make up? Who knows? All I know is she looks HOT in those pants!

DM: Amen, brotha!

Back to the action, Melton drops an elbow across the back of Beast's head, and then pulls the Champion to his feet.

DT: Knife edge chops from Melton!

DM: Can you hear those things? That sounds like Melton's cracking a whip on Beast's chest!

With every shot, the crowd lets out an enthusiastic "WHOOOOOO", and Beast clutches at his chest as Melton keeps pounding away at it!

MN: Beast's chest is already turning red like a lobster!

DT: Whip to the corner by Melton, and he follows Beast in.... whoa! Big knee to the midsection in the corner that doubles the Champ over! And now he's opening up on Beast with a series of right hands, pummeling Beast in the corner!

MN: Melton wants this match bad! He's bringing the intensity!

Official Pat Jones moves in to warn Melton about using the closed fists, but Melton ignores him, pummeling away! Finally, Beast reaches out and grabs Melton around the throat and shoulders, and with a mighty yell he spins, slamming Melton into the corner, where it's his turn to open up with the right hands!

DT: The Champion is just *working* Melton over with those huge right hands!

The crowd gets behind Beast as he pounds on Melton, then as Beast takes his last warning from Referee Jones, Beast grabs Melton and hip tosses out of the corner and halfway across the ring! Melton bounces and gets to his feet, where he's met by a monster clothesline that turns him inside out!

DM: Melton's going to be taking Tylenol for a week!

Melton gets to his feet again, and Beast levels him again with another clothesline! Beast grabs him and whips him to the ropes, and Melton rebounds right into a huge boot from the Champion! The crowd cheer as Melton gets to his feet, and stumbles backward into the ropes, and Beast charges, and the crowd cheers as he knocks Melton to the outside with a clothesline over the top rope!

DT: And it looks like we have some more company!

MN: It's our esteemed owner, Dan Ryan, and he looks pleased!

Dan Ryan comes down the ramp, smiling and clapping as Beast dumps Melton over to the outside!

DM: Looks like Beast's cheering section is here!

Beast steps back from the ropes as he sees Ryan approach the ring, and he throws his hands up in the air in disgust and turns away from the ropes.

MN: And Big Loafy doesn't like it one single bit!

DT: Beast and Ryan had some words for each other last week, which ended up with Ryan coming down to ringside and trying to entice Beast to cheat and take the easy road to victory over Cross, but Beast would have nothing with it! I wonder what Ryan is up to this week!

MN: Beast should just shut his mouth and let his boss do what he wants!

Back on the arena floor, Melton gets to his feet and heads back to the apron. Beast sees him out of the corner of his eye, and chooses to ignore Ryan for the moment, focusing back on the match. Beast heads to the ropes as Melton reaches the apron, and reaches over to grab the challenger, but Melton's too quick, and reaches under the ropes and grabs Beast's legs, pulling him down to the canvas!

MN: He beat big loafy to the punch there.

DT: And Melton drives Beast's leg into the ring apron, and the World Champion is yelling out in pain! Melton grabs the leg again, and once more drives that huge leg down into the corner of the apron, and I think Melton's hurt Beast!

Beast curls up and clutches at the back of his knee, but Melton grabs him and drags him along the apron, before wrapping Beast's knee around the ringpost! Beast howls in pain and then scrambles back away from the corner to the middle of the ring. Melton climbs back up into the ring as Beast fights to get to his feet. Melton comes after him, but drops low and chop blocks the back of Beast's leg, and the Champion goes down in a heap!

MN: I smell title change, boys! Mweeheehee!

DT: Melton keeps hammering away on Beast, stomping away at Beast's injured leg! He could do some real damage here!

Melton then pulls Beast to his feet and hoists him up in the air and brings him down hard into a knee breaker, and Beast bounces off to the canvas, screaming in pain!

DM: Where the hell is Melton going?

MN: Looks like he needs a bit of steel!

DT: Melton's got a chair, and he's heading into the ring!

Referee Pat Jones looks over at Ryan, who simply nods, and then Melton takes the chair and sets it up in the middle of the ring. He then takes Beast's leg and puts it up on top of the chair, so the seat is under Beast's knee, and then Melton heads over to the corner and begins climbing to the top rope!

DT: Melton's going up top! He doesn't want to just take Beast's title, but he wants to end the Champion's career!

MN: YES!!

DM: Air Melton, baybee!

Melton leaps off the top rope, looking to splash Beast's knee...

...but Beast manages to roll out of the way, and the crowd groans loudly then cheers as Melton eats the chair!
MN: NOOOOO!

DT: Beast got out of the way!

The crowd continues to cheer as Beast slowly pulls himself to his feet, favoring his leg. Beast then shakes out his leg and rubs it, trying to get some feeling back into it, and he limps over to Melton, and pulls him to his feet, before putting Melton right back on the canvas with a brutal neckbreaker! The crowd gasps at the impact, and Beast gets to his feet again, and sees the chair on the canvas.

MN: Ryan's telling at Beast to use the chair on Melton!

DM: Five bucks says Beast crushes Melton with the chair.

MN: No way. He's too much of a prude to stoop so low as to use a chair.

Beast turns and looks at Ryan, who's motioning like he's swinging a chair. Beast picks up the chair, and Ryan seems pretty happy and the crowd starts to cheer as Beast moves toward Melton.

DM: Come on, Loafy!

Beast raises the chair, but rather than waffle Melton, he turns and tosses the chair out of the ring, and the chair lands right at Dan Ryan's feet!

DM: Dammit!

MN: Told ya!

Dan Ryan looks down at the chair, then back up at Beast, and a red faced Dan Ryan locks eyes with Beast and the two men glare at each other!

DM: I don't like the looks of this, guys.

Ryan walks around the ring upset, with his hands on his hips as Beast pulls Melton back up to his feet and hits some chops that draw a WHOOO from the crowd, as Beast then whips Melton to the ropes. Melton rebounds and Beast takes Melton over with a huge powerslam that shakes the ring!

DT: Beast just hammered Melton with that powerslam! But he's still favoring that leg! He can't go right back to Melton!

Beast slowly gets back up, and he pulls Melton back to his feet again. He lands some punches, followed by a stiff European uppercut, and the World Champion whips Melton to the ropes, yet pulls Melton back in and levels him with a short arm clothesline! Beast holds on and pulls Melton back to his feet and hoists him high into the air, before dropping Melton down HARD with a brainbuster suplex!

DM: And Beast's still favoring that leg!

Beast gets to his feet and pulls Melton up after him, and whips him to the ropes. Melton rebounds...

DT: BIG sidewalk slam from the Champion! And Beast's definitely back in control now! There's a pin!

1...

2...

Kickout!

The crowd groans as Melton kicks out!

DM: That was close!

Beast pulls Melton back up to his feet, and hoists him onto his shoulders, yet wobbles a moment, compensating for the knee, yet Melton manages to fall behind Beast and hold on, hooking him into a reverse DDT!

MN: Big counter from Melton!

Melton and Beast both hit the canvas, and Melton takes a moment to shake out the cobwebs while Beast tries to forget about his knee. Both men make it up to their feet, and Melton goes right back for the leg, chopping down Beast once again!

DT: And Melton goes right back to the leg! He's found an opening on Beast, and he's not going to give up on it! That's 15 years of professional wrestling to help you get the job done!

Melton picks Beast up off the canvas and fires Beast stumbling across the ring into the corner, and follows it in with a big running clothesline! Melton then hoists Beast up to a sitting position on the top rope, and climbs to the second rope himself. He hooks Beast's arm....

MN: SOOOOOOOOPERPLEX from the Unifier!

DT: Melton sends the Champion down to the canvas with a nasty second rope superplex! And he hangs on for the pin!

1...

DM: Uh oh...

DT: Lindsay Troy put Beast's foot on the rope!

MN: Exsqueeze me?

Melton turns and sees Lindsay backing away from the ring, hands raised in the air as if she did nothing, yet she has a wicked smile on her face.

MN: Holy crap! What's Troy doing helping Beast?

DT: Is she helping Beast, or playing with Melton? Who knows?

Melton gets to his feet and pulls Beast away from the ropes by the feet, then leaps in the air and drives a knee into Beast's own knee! Beast shoots into a sitting position yelling out in pain! Melton drops a couple more knees, then hooks the injured leg and makes pin!

1...

2...

Kickout!

Melton picks up Beast one more time, and nails a wicked back breaker on the Champion! He makes another pin!

1...

2...

Kickout!

DM: Beast just keeps kicking out!

DT: Beast's resiliency and heart have been at the cornerstone of his success here in EPW, Dean! It's extremely hard to put this man down!

Melton grabs Beast by the feet, and slingshots the Champion into the corner! Beast's head snaps back and he stumbles back out of the corner, and Melton catches him with a german suplex!

DT: Melton's trying a different avenue here, guys! He makes another pin!

1...

2...

Kickout!

MN: Damn big loafy!

DT: And Beast just won't give up! How is Melton going to put him away! What do you have to do to beat this man!

The crowd pops, and a "BEAST! BEAST!" chant fills the arena, as the crowd gets behind the Champion and try to get him back in the match! Melton pulls Beast to his feet and whips him to the ropes, but Beast manages to reverse and send the challenger to the ropes, and Melton rebounds into a boot to the guts, and Beast hits a wicked whirling sitout powerbomb!

DT: The Champion just about put Joey Melton through the canvas!

Both men are down, but Beast soon rolls over and makes a pin!

1...

2..

Kickout!

Beast pulls Melton up, but Melton takes a swing at Beast! Beast ducks and boots Melton in the guts again, and hits a big stunner! Melton bounces off the mat and lands draped on the ropes!

DT: And look! Again, Dan Ryan is telling Beast to take advantage of what's presented to him! He wants Beast to choke Melton with the rope!

DM: But Beast is having nothing of it! He's yelling back at Ryan that he won't do it!

MN: And Ryan's pissed! Would you look at that face? If only looks could kill, we'd have a new World Champ!

Beast pulls Melton back into the ring off the ropes much to Ryan's dislike, and pulls Melton to his feet, where he nails the challenger with a full nelson slam!

DT: High impact move from the Champion!

Beast follows up with a couple of elbow drops to Melton's sternum, then pulls him to his feet, before going back to the basics and smashing Melton in the face with a solid right hand! Melton staggers away, and complains to the official about the use of the closed fist!

DM: What the...?

Melton argues with the official, and Beast approaches Melton from the rear, and Melton manages to drive a big mule kick up into Beast's nether regions and the Champion crumples to the canvas!

MN: Absolutely brilliant! Melton had the ref occupied, and he never saw a thing!

DT: And there's a pin!

1...

2...

Kickout!

DT: And Beast stil kicks out!

Melton gets to his feet, and sees Ryan on the outside, and the two men stop and stare a very unfriendly stare for a moment, before Melton turns to pull Beast back to his feet, and he hits a jaw breaker! But Beast doesn't go down, and Melton races over and nails Beast with a clothesline!

MN: TIMBERRRRR!

DM: THAT time he went down!

Melton pulls Beast to his feet, and whips him to the ropes. Beast rebounds, and Melton drives a knee into Beast's midsection! Beast flips over and hits the mat!

DT: Melton's attacking from all angles here, looking for any way to put the Champion down!

MN: There's another pin from Melton!

1...

2...

Kickout!

D: Another kickout!

Melton slaps the mat, unable to find a way to keep Beast down. He pulls Beast to his feet, and whips him to the ropes, and Beast rebounds. As he does, Melton goes for a Thesz Press, yet Beast catches him in midair and turns Melton over into a monster spinebuster! Melton sits up for a moment, clutching his ribs and yelling out in pain before collapsing back to the canvas! Beast makes a pin!

1...

2...

Kickout!

The crowd groans as Melton kicks out!

MN: And now it's the Unifier's turn to kick out!

Beast gets to his feet and heads to a corner, where he crouches and waits for Melton to rise. Melton does in a few moments, and Beast explodes across the ring....

DT: GORE!! GORE!!

DM: NO! Melton got the boot up into Beast's face! He caught him coming in!

The crowd groans as Beast hits the canvas! Melton goes for a quick pin!

1...

2...

Thr... KICKOUT!

MN: Stay down already!

The crowd cheers as Beast kicks out! Melton grabs him and whips him to the ropes, yet Beast reverses and sends Melton to the ropes. Beast drops his head for a backdrop, yet Melton catches him with a boot to the face, followed by a double leg takedown!

DT: And there's the figure four from Melton! He's got his trademark maneuver locked in!

Beast yells out in pain, and the crowd gasps!

MN: It's all over! We're going to have a new World Champion! Big Loafy's met his end right here!

The crowd starts a "BEAST!" chant as he fights and yells in the figure four! Pat Jones checks on Beast and sees if he wants to submit, but Beast yells out no!

DT: This is the test, guys! How much has Beast got left? What's he got left in the tank? How much punishment has that knee taken all match long, and how much more can he take?

Beast yells out, suffering under the hold by Melton! He reaches out for the ropes, but he's just a bit too far away! Beast sits up, but Melton leans back as much as he can, putting as much pressure on that injured leg as he can! Beast collapses back to the canvas, and Jones leaps into position for the count!

1...

2...

No! Beast sits up!

DT: Beast's only hope is to turn Melton over and reverse the pressure!

Beast rolls to the right and left, trying to shake loose or turn Melton over, and he manages to get Melton half way over! The crowd starts roaring!

MN: Shut up! It's deafening in here!

DT: Can he do it? Can Beast turn it over and escape the... YES, HE'S DONE IT!! Beast's turned Melton over, and this crowd is going absolutely nuts! Melton is howling in pain!

Now the official starts checking on Melton, seeing if the challenger wants to submit! Melton yells out no!

Beast pushes up all the way, trying to get as much pressure working in *his* favor now! But, right in front of Dan Ryan....

DT: And Ryan is pushing the rope in towards Beast! He wants Beast to grab it and lift himself up to apply more pressure to that hold! But Beast refuses again!

DM: You can hear Ryan screaming "Do what it takes! Do what it takes!"

MN:: OHHH! Beast just spit in Dan Ryan's face! Fire him!

Finally, Melton is able to untangle his legs, and the figure four is broken! Both men get to their feet, but Beast is obviously favoring the leg after being in that figure four for so long! Melton charges Beast, but Beast manages to boot Melton in the guts, and stumbles, before hooking Melton into a pumphandle...

DT: Beast swings Melton up! OHHHH! Beast just inadvertently struck the official with Melton! He kicked the official right in the face!

Jones goes down, and the crowd cheers as Beast plants Melton into the mat!

DT: Beast just nailed Melton with the Absolution 2K4!

MN: NOOO!!!

DM: But I don't think he caught Melton with all of that one, guys! Hitting the ref caused some balance problems, and it wasn't as fluid as I bet Beast would like! And look! Melton's down, but so is Beast! He's holding his knee!

DT: I dunno, guys, Melton's not moving! Beast is slowly trying to get to his feet! Yes, he's up!

MN: And so is Ryan!

DM: What?

MN: So is Ryan! He's on the apron! And he's yelling at Beast to take Melton out! By ANY means possible!

DT: You mean he wants him to cheat!

Beast is up on his feet, and he sees Ryan on the apron! He heads over to confront him, and Ryan tells Beast again to do what it takes! Beast yells back at Ryan to stay out of things, and Ryan jumps off the apron and to the floor, pounding his hands on the mat as he does! Beast climbs through the ropes to the floor, and he and Ryan get in each other's faces!

DT: What the hell is going on here?!? Ryan is telling Beast to cheat to get the win, but Beast is adamantly refusing! He won't do it!

The crowd boos as Ryan and Beast continue to argue, and it gets very heated! Pat Jones gets back to his feet

DT: Beast and Ryan are arguing tooth and nail here! This has got to be a professional wrestling first! I don't think I've ever seen someone so determined to make one of his employees cheat! Dan Ryan is trying to force Beast's hand and make him into something he's not! Beast is an extremely talented athlete with a large amount of pride and morals, and he'd never stoop to such a low!

Finally, things get to a point where Beast has had enough...

MN: HOLY F[FCC]K!!

DT: Beast just gave EPW Owner Dan Ryan a double fisted shot to the chest! MY WORD!

Dan is knocked back just a step, and he looks at his chest as if it was cardinal sin that anyone ever touch him, and he looks up at Beast and raises an eyebrow in amazement. He then turns to Pat Jones, and yells at him to ring the bell! Jones asks if he's sure, and Ryan screams at him to ring the bell!

[ SFX: Ring bell. ]

DT: What in the name of...?

TF: Ladies and gentlemen, here is the result of this match. Your winner, as a result of a disqualification... JOEY MELTON!!

DM: WHOA!

MN: Ryan disqualified Beast? That's awesome!

TF: However, the EPW World Heavyweight Championship cannot change hands on a disqualification without special stipulation, so STILL your EPW World Heavweight Champion... BEAST!



--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

An intense round of loud boos emanates from the crowd, engulfing the arena!

DT: This is a first!

Ryan then turns to back away, walking up the ramp while still looking at Beast, who pounds the ring apron! Beast then grabs the top half of the ring steps and throws them across the arena floor!

DM: Beast is pissed! He's furious!

Ryan stares a hole through Beast as he walks up the ramp. Beast heads over to the timekeeper's table to grab his EPW World Heavyweight Championship Title, but not before he tears the top off of the announce table and he grabs a monitor and rips it from the table and smashes it on the floor!

DT: The Champ's incensed!

Back in the ring Joey Melton can't believe what he's seeing, and he and Lindsay Troy lock eyes, and the two share a disgusted look. The camera cuts back to Dan Ryan, who is standing at the top of the ramp. We get one last shot of him glaring at Beast, before the camera cuts back to Beast, holding his title amongst the ruins of the announce table.

DT: Folks, we're out of time! We've got to go, but we'll see you at Russian Roulette! For Dean Matthews and Mike Neely, I'm Dave Thomas, saying goodnight!

 

[DBrunkGXW]

Fusenhoff [c] vs. Layne Winters – Aggression 45 - EPW TV Title Match

[CUT TO: Layne Winters in front of an EPW backdrop.]

WINTERS: Hardest match I ever had. The ladder match with Cat was grueling, but when you're chasing a belt as opposed to defending it, it's a whole other feeling. This guy was like Rasputin; I filled him with cyanide, beat him senseless, shot him in the head, drowned him, and the motherf*cker was still moving. Guy put a hurting on me, too. I remember having him locked for the Green River Justice, thinking I wasn't gonna get him up. If you watch the tape, you see me struggling to lift him; my arms were straight dead. So finally I get him up just enough, and I'm thinking, "Alright, too tired to make a show of it, just drop this motherf*cker and let's go home. And if he kicks out...shoot him." Guy was unbelievable, and when I held that title, this may sound cliche but I knew I finally made it. I held a belt in one of the big companies, I was legit.

[CUT TO: Copycat sitting in front of an EPW backdrop.]

COPYCAT: Fusenshoff loses here, but they really sell how tough he is considering he comes out here after getting whacked in the head with a chair earlier in the night. I'd love to see Fusenshoff and Layne Winters get a one-on-one match without any strings attached, just let them go out there and see what they come up with. Just because all my matches have strings attached doesn't mean everybody's matches have to, eh? For that matter, I'd love to see the buildup to that match without all the Stalker stuff going on. Nothing against Stalker or anything, but Fusenshoff is a pretty sharp guy in promos, and it'd be interesting to see how he approaches Winters and his starving-artist attitude without any other baggage.

These two don't screw around to start this one, huh? That explode-out-of-the-gate thing suits Fusenshoff here, considering he's just come off getting bonked on the head and can't be too happy with things in general, but the funny thing is, that style would suit Winters pretty well now that he's a fan favorite. This might have been his last match before he ended up on the opposite side of Anthology and got the crowd on his side.

Fusenshoff kills himself here face-first into the barricade, all the better for Winters. You wonder how Winters would react to that now that he's actually got the fans on his side; here, he can just capitalize on it, and it certainly fits his at-any-costs character to capitalize, but now he'd be having to decide between that at-any-costs attitude and keeping the crowd behind him. I always enjoy having to go through that kind of dilemma in my head – going up against Stalker and the Fallen without getting the crowds to like either of us is a good example – so it's fun for me to see the gears turning for guys like Winters.
A guy coming back long after a normal man would have been dead causes problems for me sometimes, but it works really well for Fusenshoff here. You really don't know how much longer he's going to hold out – keeps you on the edge of your seat for that one moment where his body finally gives out, waiting to see if he can prevent that from happening before the match ends.

It's nice to see Winters finally getting some recognition for his hard work with the TV Title. You can tell this is a direction they wanted to go with Winters for a while, but he wasn't quite at World Heavyweight Title level and the rest of the belts were tied up with Anthology. Fusenshoff was really the only option, but he at least got a good reign out of it. This match really elevated both guys – Fusenshoff by showing how tough he was, and Winters by showing that he really could succeed after all this time.

[As the footage returns from the commercial, "I Don't Know Anything" by Mad Season is playing over the PA, and the EPW fans are BOOING LOUDLY as "NEW SCHOOL" LAYNE WINTERS making his way down the ramp to the ring, escorted by PAMELA EURICE. Every step of the way, he talks trash with some of the ringside fans.]

DT: Welcome back, ladies and gentlemen, as we move into our TELEVISION TITLE CONTEST of the evening! Of course, we’re working from a makeshift table now, since Anarky and Larry Tact turned ours into kindling. But, coming to the ring now is a relative newcomer on the Empire Pro scene, but already, he's turned heads and made an impression!

DM: And that's the very reason he's coming to the ring tonight to compete for the EPW TV Title. He may be a rookie by EPW standards, but we can't forget that Winters is a seasoned vet of seven years fighting out of Seattle. He's taken to Empire Pro like a duck to water, and he's got the talent and potential to go far.

MN: I gotta say, I LIKE this Layne Winters! He doesn't take crap from ANYBODY! Of course, none of these FANS know a good talent when they see it...

[Winters and Eurice grace the ring, taunting the fans and strutting their stuff. Then suddenly, the lights to black. The fans CHEER as the opening guitars to "Wherever I May Roam" by Metallica hits the PA.]

DT: And here comes THE CHAMPION!!

DM: Maybe. After that chairshot, I'd be very SURPRISED to see him come out here for this title defense...

[The camera zooms in on the spotlight over the entrance, but nobody appears.]

DT: Is the champion going to make it?

MN: I doubt it. First chance he has to duck out of this competition, he'll take without a moment's consideration! That Fusenshoff is nothing but a --

DT: THERE HE IS!!

[The audience POPS WILDLY as Fusenshoff, carrying the EPW Television Title, appears through the entry-way and boldly makes his way to the ring, eyes trained on his opponent. On his head, where he was earlier cut open, there is a bandage in place.]

DM: Looks like they took care of that ugly cut wound back in the infirmary! Fusenshoff is HERE and he's ready to defend his title! I don't know if that chair shot took anything out of him, but you have to hand it to the man for having the courage to come out here and go through with this match!

MN: Courage or STUPIDITY?! Do you really think that meager BAND-AID on his forehead is going to stay in place through this entire match?

DT: That cut was sustained earlier in the show thanks to an errant chairshot at the hands of Rocko Daymon. I have no idea if it will or will not affect his performance in this match, but regardless, Fusenshoff is HERE, and he looks ready to fight!

[Fusenshoff enters the ring and goes to his own corner, removing his jacket and handing it to the timekeeper. Referee David Rosenkrantz checks with him to ensure he's willing to compete. Fusenshoff, without hesitation, nods, and hands the belt over. Tony Fatora stands in the ring to announce...]

TF: Ladies and gentlemen... the following contest is for EMPIRE PRO WRESTLING TELEVISION TITLE!! This match will be fifteen minutes in length, and is set for one fall! Introducing first, the challenger... fighting out of Seattle, Washington, and weight in at 250 pounds... HE IS... "NEW SCHOOL"... LLLLLAAAYYYNNNEE WWWIIINNNNTTEEERRSSS!!!

[The crowd BOOS LOUDLY as Winters poses, Pamela showing him off.]

TF: And his opponent... hailing from Kaloomps, British Columbia... he weighs in at 263 pounds... he is the EMPIRE PRO WRESTLING TELEVISION CHAMPION... HE IS... FFFFUUUUUUSSSSSEEEENNNNSSSSHOOOOFFFF!!!!

[TREMENDOUS pop for the TV Champ, who doesn't seem to acknowledge the crowd, instead focusing on the competition and looking ready to fight.]

DT: Quite an ovation for Fusenshoff! He hasn't lost the support of the fans, even with his career and actions under the control of that nefarious STALKER!!

DM: Fusenshoff still abides by the laws of ethics and honor. He doesn't like being Stalker's puppet any more than the fans like seeing him being jerked around by his chain!

MN: I, for one, LOVE IT!!

TF: The referee for this contest... DAVID ROSENKRANTZ!!

[Rosenkrantz holds the TV Title up for the fans and the cameras to see. Then he hands it over to the timekeeper as Fatora quits the ring. The ref makes his final checks, again giving Fusenshoff's bandage the once over, and when everything's set, gives the cue for the bell.]

SFX: *DING! DING! DING!*

DT: The bell rings, and the battle for the EPW TV Title beg -- OH WAIT, right away here comes WINTERS with a running CLOTHESLINE --

DM: And the champ DUCKS!! He spins the challenger around... AND STARTS POUNDING AWAY at his FACE!

Crowd: *POP!*

DM: Looks like that gash on his head isn't hampering his ring skills ONE BIT! Fusenshoff is SWINING AWAY without mercy, and Layne Winters had NO IDEA he'd be fighting with this kind of intensity so early in the match!

MN: I think all the blood flowing into his brain is seeping out that cut on his head...

DT: The TV Champ has Winters BACKING UP with every successful blow to the head... BAM!! Winters goes down after a HUGE haymaker from Fusenshoff! Winters back up... and walks straight into Fusenshoff, who DROPS HIM with a Scoop Slam! Winters up again... runs right into ANOTHER Scoop Slam!

DM: Layne Winters is just getting THROWN AROUND in that ring... and he rolls under the ropes to the outside to escape the champion's simply remarkable wrath!

MN: Layne just needs another minute to calculate this. It's hard being a BRILLIANT wrestler when you have to share the ring with punch-drunk APES like Fusenshoff...

DT: Pamela joins Winters on the outside to tend to him, while the TV Champion Fusenshoff stands ready and waiting in the ring! He is NOT AT ALL affected by that chairshot from earlier in the evening, as it appears!

DM: I don't know, Dave. That may have been more serious that it currently appears. Winters, taking a moment to scowl off some younger ringside fans calling his MASCULINITY into question... now he rises up to the ring apron, preparing to reenter the ring!

MN: Round two, Layne! Let's show this tough guy what WRESTLING'S made of!

DT: Winters is telling referee David Rosenkrantz to keep the TV Champion AT BAY while he makes his reentry. Winters... back in, at last, and he releases the rope!

DM: Here comes FUSENSHOFF!! The champion, looking for the tie-up -- but Winters SLIPS AROUND the outside, and now he has him in a reverse waistlock! Looking for the GERMAN SUPLEX I think... but Fusenshoff STUNS HIM with a stinging elbow to the face!

DT: Winters knocked away... but bites back by SHOVING Fusenshoff into the ropes! Fuse bounces back... running right into a HIPTOSS delivered by Winters! Winters is calling him back to his feet... looking for ANOTHER hiptoss -- but Fusenshoff BLOCKS IT, and counters with an BELLY TO BELLY SUPLEX!!

DM: WOW!! The TV Champ is trying to POWERHOUSE the challenge into OBLIVION!! Looks like his recalculations were still a little off, Neels...

MN: Bah...

DT: Winters is left STUNNED on the mat... and Fusenshoff quickly makes the cover, hooking the legs for the pin!

One!

Two!

And Layne Winters kicks out!

DM: Despite this beating he's taken, I wouldn't expect the challenger to go down that easily. This is his first appearance in a title match here in Empire Pro, and you just KNOW he's going to put it all on the line here tonight.

DT: That may be, but unless Layne Winters can find a way to escape the power game of Fusenshoff, his first EPW title match may just end in quick and bitter disappointment!

MN: You're always so quick to rule out the REAL talent in that ring. Winters is just getting warmed up!

DT: Winters trying to get to his feet, but Fusenshoff, coming in from behind, has him by the waist! The TV Champ brings the challenger to his feet... lifts him UP... and THERE'S the ATOMIC DROP, leaving Winters reeling in pain!

DM: Fusenshoff's got him right where he wants him! There goes the TV Champ into the ropes... WOW!! Nearly DECAPITATES Layne Winters with that LARIAT!!

DT: "New School" Layne Winters drops to the mat... and here's Fusenshoff with another pin!

One!

Two!

And Winters kicks out! The challenger is certainly proving here tonight he can hang strong against Fusenshoff's advantage in strength! But he STILL needs to get an offense going!

Crowd: "FU-SENS-HOFF!! FU-SENS-HOFF!! FU-SENS-HOFF!!"

DM: This capacity crowd is rallying behind the TV Champ, and Fusenshoff has all the momentum rolling on his side now! He brings Layne Winters back to his feet... there's the WHIP to the ropes! Fuse looks for the BACK BODY DROP -- but Winters LEAPFROGS!!

DT: Here's Winters off the ropes... Fusenshoff turns around -- AND HE'S MET WITH A DIVING CROSSBODY THAT PUTS HIM TO THE MAT! Just like that Winters EXPLODES back into this match!

MN: I KNEW he had it in him!

DM: He's got to capitalize on that first! Fusenshoff trying to get to his feet, but Winters quickly sweeps around and slaps on a front facelock, and he locks the arm around the back for good measure! The TV Champ is trying to break free, but Winters has him tied up perfectly!

DT: Wait a second... Fusenshoff, lifting WINTERS OFF THE MAT... could be going for the SPINEBUSTER -- BUT WINTERS drives the FOREARM across the back, and his feet find the mat once again! Winters with ANOTHER forearm to the back, leaves Fusenshoff stunned and unable to break out of that hold!

DM: Fuse seems to be having trouble with the technically-oriented challenger's grip! Winters turning around now... transfers right into a NECKBREAKER!! OH MAN, he had some HEAT on that one!

DT: Fusenshoff is FLAT on the mat, and Layne Winters doesn't waste any time going for the pin!

One!

Two!

And a KICKOUT by Fusenshoff!

Crowd: *POP!*

DT: It's too soon in the match to count out the DRIVE and DEDICATION of the EPW Television Champion!

DM: But already, Winters, showing some poise and focus, doesn't waste any time pouting over the kickout! Instead, he flips over, and throws Fusenshoff right back into that front facelock! Look at how he controls Fusenshoff's arm by locking it behind his back...

MN: Yeah, I know man. That's just BRILLIANT WRESTLING!

DM: ...right, but Neels, don't try bluffing anyone listening out there into thinking you have actual WRESTLING knowledge.

MN: You obviously know NOTHING about me, Dean-O! You forget that I've studied the entire career of Joey Melton! I KNOW good wrestling when I SEE it, and I'm SEEING IT right now!

DT: Fusenshoff's options are limited in breaking out of this hold, as Winters controls his dominant arm and keeps his destructive strength pinned down!

DM: Fusenshoff's looking for the ropes, but... Winters with the SWEEP -- and as he wraps the legs, he sinks in the GUILLOTINE!! Very DANGEROUS position for Fusenshoff right now!

DT: You got THAT right, Dean-O! Fuse was looking to make the rope break, but Winters was right there with the trip, and the moment the champion went to the mat, the challenger was right there to wrap the legs around his ribs and sink in the chokehold!

DM: "New School" Layne Winters, pulling UP on that arm to cut off the champion's air supply! He's squeezing those legs together like a VICE against his ribs to keep him from drawing a full breath! He's got the hold LOCKED IN, right in the center of the ring, and it's only a matter of time before it's LIGHTS OUT for Fusenshoff!

MN: Freakin' A-RIGHT, man! Winters is SCHOOLING this drunk-ass hobo street fighter in ways never thought imaginable! I guess THAT'S why they call him... NEW SCHOOL!

DM: Good job on that one, Mike. You get a gold star.

DT: Fusenshoff is fading, but he's REFUSED to tap at this point! But... now the FANS are getting into it!

Crowd: "FU-SENS-HOFF!! FU-SENS-HOFF!! FU-SENS-HOFF!!"

MN: IDIOTS!! They're cheering for the WRONG GUY!!

DT: The Television Champion is digging down DEEP... and OH MY, he's FORCING HIMSELF BACK TO HIS FEET... even while Layne Winters CONTINUES to keep the guillotine chokehold in place!

DM: Fusenshoff is BACK UP, and now Winters finds himself CLINGING HELPLESSLY against his opponent... but NOT FOR LONG!! FUSENSHOFF DROPS TO THE MAT, and simply CRUSHES Layne Winters with a SPINEBUSTER!!

Crowd: *POP!*

DT: A TREMENDOUS comeback for the EPW TV Champ! But you can already SEE the effect of that submission hold! Fusenshoff is taking some time getting to his feet... and he looks a little disoriented!

MN: Guess he must have suffered some BRAIN DAMAGE after Layne choked him out those past few minutes!

DM: Fusenshoff seems to be resisting the urge to BLACK OUT right there in the ring! Remember... he inadvertently suffered a CHAIRSHOT to the HEAD earlier in the night at the hands of Rocko Daymon, which left him cut open and BLEEDING in the ring! The champ needs MEDICAL ATTENTION, or things are just going to get WORSE for him!

DT: Winters looking a bit shaken up as he gets to his feet with the help of the ropes... and here comes FUSENSHOFF -- and the CHAMPION PUTS WINTERS OVER THE ROPES with a RUNNING LARIAT! Winters TUMBLES HARD to the mat on the outside!

DM: Could Fuse be looking to turn things around back to his advantage? Here's the champ, stepping out onto the apron and waiting for Winters to get to his feet... Fusenshoff looking for a DOUBLE AXE-HANDLE OFF THE APRON -- BUT WINTERS STEPS ASIDE, and SHOVES HIM RIGHT INTO THE STEEL BARRICADE!!

Crowd: OOOooohhh...

MN: Oh MAN, they could hear THAT impact all the way up in the NOSEBLEED section! Can we get a replay of that?

[Split-Screen Replay: Fusenshoff daringly DIVES off the apron, only to miss his intended target and connect HEAD FIRST with the barricade!]

DT: Oh MAN, he hit it HEAD ON!! How much more PUNISHMENT is Fusenshoff's skull going to TAKE tonight?!

MN: As much as it TAKES until he just ROLLS OVER and lets Layne walk out of here with the TITLE!

DM: Yeah, Fusenshoff rolling over... FAT CHANCE!

DT: Layne Winters is rolling over Fusenshoff as we speak as Referee David Rosenkrantz makes the ten count! Winters, trying to get Fusenshoff back to his feet, but... seems to be having some trouble! Fusenshoff doesn't seem to be RESPONDING! He must have knocked himself out COLD!

DM: Oh man, get a look at THAT...!

[Camera zooms in on Fusenshoff's bleary-eyed face. Red spots appear in the white of the bandage over his forehead.]

DM: Looks like that GASH just got REOPENED! Fusenshoff is in a REALLY dangerous place now! He's KNOCKED OUT! He's BLEEDING... and Rosenkrantz is at the count of FIVE!

DT: Oh boy, this doesn't look good... Layne Winters practically DRAGGING Fusenshoff back to the ring, trying to slide the bigger man back under the ropes! He can't walk out with the title by COUNT OUT!

MN: No, but the PIN is only moments away!

DM: Fusenshoff's OUT COLD! Winters has him inside... and quickly follows as Rosenkrantz reaches the count of EIGHT! Fuse is DEFENSELESS!!

DT: Here's Winters with the PIN! This COULD BE IT!





ONE!!






TWO!!






THR--OH NO, FUSENSHOFF KICKED OUT!!

MN: DAMN!!

DM: He was CLOSE, but Fusenshoff CAME TO at the very last minute! What REMARKABLE endurance on the part of the champion! But now we have to wonder, with his wounds reopened and blood seeping from the bandage on his head, how much longer can he HOLD OUT?!

DT: Winters trying to get Fusenshoff to his feet, now that Fusenshoff is CONSCIOUS again... wait, Fusenshoff FIGHTING BACK! Fuse with PUNCHES TO THE MID-SECTION of Layne Winters! The champion BOUNDS to his feet and throws himself to the ropes... but he runs right into a BOOT from Winters!

DM: Winters with the DDT!! OH MAN!! Fusenshoff hit the mat HEAD-FIRST! Is he out cold again?!

DT: I don't think so, but Fusenshoff looks HURT! Oh man... that bandage is just DRENCHED in blood now! Here's Winters with yet another COVER...

ONE!!

TWO!!

And Fusenshoff KICKS OUT AGAIN!!

DM: He isn't giving up yet! The longer he bleeds, the more strength he loses, but he isn't down and out YET!

DT: Winters is bringing Fusenshoff back to his feet... and he just RIPS THE REMAINS of that BANDAGE off his FACE!

MN: That's right! He found a weak point, and he's going to jump all over it!

DM: Winters is putting some STIFF SHOTS into the face of Fusenshoff, targeting that open cut on his forehead! BAM! A hard CHOP across the chest finally puts Fuse to the mat! "New School" looks a bit disgusted at having his opponent’s blood on his knuckles, but if you want to make an omelet, you've gotta break a few eggs!

MN: I just want to see him beak Fusenshoff's FACE! That ungrateful punk has had it coming for a LONG time!

DT: Here's Winters, pulling Fusenshoff back off the mat by the hair... and he just SLAPS HIM right across his blood-stained face! What BLATANT disrespect to the TV Champ!

Crowd: BOOOOO!!

MN: Oh, please... just WHAT has Fusenshoff done recently to deserve RESPECT?!

DM: The challenger is trying to HUMILIATE the champion... no doubt, seeing the seriousness of Fusenshoff's cut has got him feeling fairly confident right about now! Here's Winters, grabbing Fusenshoff from behind... bringing the TV Champ back to his feet... and THERE'S the RELEASED GERMAN SUPLEX he was looking for earlier in this match!

DT: Fusenshoff got dropped directly on the BACK of his HEAD... and every second that ticks by, the MORE energy he loses! With that cut in the head, he's like a TIRE losing AIR!

DM: Right you are on that, Dave...

DT: Fusenshoff staggering back to his feet... I don't think he even knows where he IS!! He walks right into Layne Winters...and here's Winters, locking arms -- turns it into a BACKSLIDE PIN!!



ONE!!




TWO!!



THRE--OH NO, FUSENSHOFF KICKS OUT!! I thought FOR CERTAIN that Winters was going to steal this match RIGHT THERE!

MN: You WERE certain, Dave! That idiot David Rosenkrantz doesn't know how to COUNT properly! I counted that MYSELF and it was THREE!

DM: Whatever, Neels... here's Winters, getting Fusenshoff up again... and he sets him up in the standing head-scissor! Look for something BIG here...

DT: Layne Winters sees the FINISH LINE and the EPW TV TITLE in sight... now he lifts up Fusenshoff by the WAIST... RIGHT INTO A JUMPING PILEDRIVER!! OH MY GOD, HE DRILLED HIM HEAD FIRST INTO THE MAT!!

DM: Jeez, Winters is trying to make a modern art display out of the ring, using Fusenshoff's profusely bleeding FACE as his paintbrush! The ring is a collage of the TV Champion's own blood, and every time the challenger puts him down focusing on his head, Fusenshoff slips even further away!

DT: "New School" Layne Winters... hooking BOTH LEGS for the COVER!!



ONE!!




TWO!!!






THREE--NO!! FUSENSHOFF KICKED OUT AGAIN!

MN: How does he keep DOING THAT?!

DM: The Television Champion didn't even have to COMPETE tonight, but he's putting EVERYTHING HE'S GOT on the line here tonight! THAT right there is what I call COMMITMENT to a title, even if Fusenshoff was never particularly proud of it...

DT: We all have to remember that what Fusenshoff does in that ring, he does for HIMSELF... not for any title and CERTAINLY not for anyone, including that damned STALKER! But RIGHT NOW, he's got a plate full of problems, served personally by "New School" Layne Winters!

DM: Winters is getting FRUSTRATED now! You can hear him exchanging choice words with David Rosenkrantz on the speed of that count, but simply put, Fusenshoff powered out at the last second! This is the PERFECT opportunity for Fusenshoff to mount a comeback... but...

MN: But let's FACE IT, Dean... he doesn't HAVE ENOUGH to make a comeback right now! Look at him! He's a BLEEDING MESS in that ring!

DT: He's still in this match, isn't he?! Let's not count out Fusenshoff just yet. We can't be too quick to forget the impressive COMEBACKS this man is capable of!

DM: Winters on top of Fusenshoff immediately... now he rolls him over onto his belly in the center of the ring. There he boosts him onto his knees... OH MAN, LOOK AT THIS!! A CROSS-FACE CLUTCH!! That's quite an INNOVATIVE submission hold, and against an opponent whose life is slowly slipping away every second that passes in that ring, it can be quite DANGEROUS!

DT: Winters is pulling BACK on that Crossface hold, just SQUEEZING the life-force out of Fusenshoff as the blood continues trailing down his face! HOW is the TV Champion going to escape THIS ONE?!

MN: The point is that he WON'T, Dave! The moron won't stay down long enough, so Layne's going to finish this off slow and painfully! Heh heh...

DM: The arms of Layne Winters are tensed around the crimson-masked face of Fusenshoff, tightening like the strangling clutch of a BOA CONSTRICTER!! I don't see Fuse escaping this one! In a few moments, it's going to be lights out, and that's all she wrote!

DT: Even so... Fusenshoff is FIGHTING the pain! He's REFUSING to tap out at all costs!

MN: That's okay. He'll won't have a choice soon enough...

DM: This could be IT for the Television Champion, Fusenshoff...

[Camera zooms in on the gore-ridden face of Fusenshoff as his eyes roll back and he slips away.]

DM: ...that's it, I think he's OUT!!

DT: Rosenkrantz raising the hand of Fusenshoff to see if he is able to respond... and it DROPS!!

MN: That's ONE!

DT: Rosenkratz raising the arm again... and once again, it DROPS!!

MN: That's TWO!!

DM: Just one more, and we'll see a new TV Champion crowned here tonight...

DT: Rosenkrantz... RAISING THE ARM...

...

...

And it FALLS --

NO WAIT!! FUSENSHOFF KEPT IT UP!! MY GOD, HOW IS HE STILL AWAKE?!

Crowd: *POP!*

DM: I can't believe what I'm SEEING!! I thought for CERTAIN he was GONE! The champion is putting up an ENORMOUS effort here tonight, and however this competition turns out, it’s one that he should be commended for!

MN: Oh right... give all the props to FUSENSHOFF, but nothing to the brilliant wrestling ability of Layne Winters!

DT: The capacity crowd is getting behind the TV Champion...

Crowd: "FU-SENS-HOFF!! FU-SENS-HOFF!! FU-SENS-HOFF!!"

DT: ...and now he's getting his legs moving! Fusenshoff is desperately trying to FREE himself from that innovated Crossface hold applied by Layne Winters!

DM: He's trying to move his legs up so he can get his feet on the mat and is that as leverage! Winters, looking DESPERATE in the light of this amazing show of DURABILITY on the part of the champion, tries closing the gap... but Fusenshoff is already on his knees!

DT: Fusenshoff is fighting the PAIN and the urge to PASS OUT with every fiber of his being! His fists are clenched and SHAKING with fury as he STILL continues to bleed out through the open gash on his forehead! But even now, he manages to put ONE foot to the mat... and now BOTH! Fusenshoff is RISING TO HIS FEET!

Crowd: *POP!*

DM: ...and Winters is hanging there WITH HIM!

MN: Come on, Layne! Squeeze his head until POPS like a melon!

DM: Winters is just hanging on for dear life at this point... but here's Fusenshoff, charging BACK-FIRST INTO THE CORNER -- AND HE JUST SANDWICHED Layne Winters in that corner!

DT: Winters REFUSES to let go... and this time, Fusenshoff hooks both of Winters' legs wrapped around his torso... and drops STRAIGHT BACK!!

DM: OH MAN, Winters got CRUSHED... but even THAT'S not enough to release his grip! "New School" isn't giving up on that hold until it puts Fusenshoff away for good, and now the TV Champ has made the mistake of dropping BACK to the mat, giving the challenger all that extra leverage!

MN: Heh... moron...

DT: Layne Winters is trying to reposition himself... but Fusenshoff's ALREADY RISING AGAIN!? He will simply NOT stay down! And can you BLAME HIM given what's at stake?

DM: Winters still clinging to the back of Fusenshoff with only that Crossface held in place, legs trying to form a vice around the champion's legs... but now Fusenshoff reaches back and grabs him by the back of the hair -- AND DROPS RIGHT INTO AN ACE CRUSHER!!

Crowd: *POP!*

DT: YES!! The death grip of Layne Winters is FINALLY broken, and "New School" goes SPRAWLING to the mat clutching his jaw! Fusenshoff, completely EXHAUSTED, just COLLAPSES to the mat with him!

DM: It probably took everything he had just break free from that submission hold. But with his life-force continuing to leak away through that cut, I have to wonder how much more he has left!

MN: NOT MUCH, believe me...

DT: Well see about that, Mike! Fusenshoff is trying to get to his feet again! It's quite an effort for him, but he manages to get up as a dazed Layne Winters rises also! Winters turns around... and nearly JUMPS OUT OF HIS SHOES the minute he sees FUSENSHOFF standing over him!

DM: OH! Hard kick to the mid-section... and Fusenshoff goes right for the WHIP to the ropes! Here comes Winters on the return -- RUNS STRAIGHT INTO A BIIIIG POWERSLAM!! OH MAN, he nearly got PUT THROUGH THE RING!!

DT: Fusenshoff with the PIN!!



ONE!!




TWO!!





THR--NO!! Winters kicks out!

MN: Come on, you didn't think Winters was going to spend the past five minutes kicking Fusenshoff's ass, only to turn around to go down just like THAT!

DM: Stranger things have happened in the world of professional wrestling. Fusenshoff, still a little slow to get up... and that gives Winters the opportunity to rise to his feet unscathed! Fuse up, and here comes Winters... "New School" meets him with a CHOP across the chest... but Fuse just STIFFENS UP and tells him to hit him again!

DT: Winters with ANOTHER chop across the chest, and he put some FORCE into that one... Fusenshoff is just SOAKING UP THE PAIN!! He's telling Winters to hit him AGAIN!

MN: Well, if you insist...

DT: Here's Winters with ANOTHER -- NO WAIT!! FUSENSHOFF COUNTERS... with an EXPLODER SUPLEX!! OH MAN, HE JUST THREW LAYNE WINTERS ACROSS THE RING!!

DM: Winters is trying to flounder to his feet... and once again, Fusenshoff, taking too long to regain his bearings! He must be getting DIZZY with all that blood loss! Winters trying to get up by the ropes... but here comes Fuse at last! The TV Champ hooks the challenger from behind... gets him to his FEET -- AND THERE'S A BACK SUPLEX!! Once again, Layne Winters is getting mercilessly MANHANDLED in that ring!

DT: Layne Winters is finally UNMOVING on the mat, and now Fusenshoff makes the win to PUT THIS ONE AWAY!!





ONE!!







TWO!!







THR--NO!! A KICKOUT by Layne Winters!

MN: That's right, Layne! You can hang in there!

DM: Fusenshoff knows he's in the home stretch. He's just gotta hang in there long enough to keep Layne Winters down! But so far, "New School" is coming back from EVERYTHING he's dishing out!

DT: Time is running out for the TV Champion! Fusenshoff is slowly back up to his feet, fighting the exhaustion wearing out his entire body... and now he's bringing Winters up with him! Fuse DITCHES Winters into the corner, and the challenger is TRAPPED! Fusenshoff grabs the middle set of ropes... AND DRIVES THAT SHOULDER RIGHT INTO THE RIBS of Layne Winters!

DM: That just knocked the WIND out of Winters! Fusenshoff with ANOTHER BIG SHOULDER, and Winters is looking in bad shape! Wait a minute... Fusenshoff now lifting Winters UP! Wait, he dropped him... Fusenshoff's strength is LEAVING him!

MN: HA! It was only a matter of time!

DT: NO!! Fusenshoff with a BIG ELBOW to the face of Layne Winters, keeps him stunned... and now he's lifting him up AGAIN! He sets Layne Winters up to the TOP ROPE... and now he's going up WITH HIM!!

DM: We could potentially be about to witness high-risk move from the champ! Fuse trying to hook those arms... but Winters is FIGHTING BACK!

MN: Come on, Layne! Knock him off!

DT: OH NO!! Winters just SHOVES the TV Champ off the top rope, and Fusenshoff tumbles into the ring! Now Winters is trying to turn this to his advantage... he's setting himself up on the top rope! Winters could be looking for -- OH MAN, SHOT DOWN!! FUSENSHOFF THROWS HIMSELF INTO THE ROPES, and Layne Winters RACKS HIMSELF on the turnbuckle!!

DM: OOOhhh... Winters tried to turn things around in his favor, but that didn't last long, and now Fusenshoff's RETURNING to the top rope! Fusenshoff with the waist lock... looking for the SUPLEX... but he can't get Layne Winters over!

DT: Come on, Fusenshoff, you can DO IT!!

MN: CHOKE, Hasselhoff, CHOKE!!

DT: Fusenshoff trying again... DIGGING DEEP... AND HE JUST THROWS LAYNE WINTERS OFF THE TOP ROPE WITH AN OVERHEAD BELLY TO BELLY SUPLEX!! OH MY GOD, that nearly put a HOLE into the ring!

DM: That COULD BE ENOUGH to stop Layne Winters, but Fusenshoff is just too damn SPENT to even MOVE at this point! He's got to make the cover!

DT: COME ON, Fuse, he's only RIGHT THERE! Fusenshoff rolling onto his side... DRAGGING himself over the body of Layne Winters! This is IT!!



ONE!!






TWO!!





THREE--OH NO, WINTERS KICKS OUT!!

Crowd: AAAaawww...

DM: Fusenshoff can hardly believe it! It took everything he had to throw Layne Winters off the top rope with that suplex, but even THAT wasn't enough! Fusenshoff has been bleeding out in the ring consistently for the last seven minutes of this competition. There's NO WAY he can keep this going for much longer...

DT: Three minutes are left in this competition for the EPW Television Title... and now Fusenshoff, using the ropes to get back to his feet! Winters managed to kick out, but he's having some trouble trying to get up himself! Fuse is behind him in his blind spot... and the TV Champ is STALKING his competition!

MN: Oh man... TURN AROUND LAYNE!!

DM: TOO LATE! Here's Fusenshoff from behind...

WHISKEY BOMB!! OH MAN, he NAILED IT!! Fusenshoff, in a LAST DITCH EFFORT, used the LAST of his strength to bury Layne Winters face first into the mat!!

DT: HE'S DONE IT AT LAST!! Fusenshoff drapes an arm over the chest, going for the PIN...





ONE!!






TWO!!!






THHRREEE!! -- NO!!! OH GOD, NO, WINTERS KICKED OUT!! HOW IN THE HELL DID HE KICK OUT?!

DM: It AIN'T OVER YET!! And the task of finishing match just gets more and more difficult for Fusenshoff as Layne Winters refuses to stay down! But how much longer can he last against the strength of the TV Champion?

MN: Come on, Winters, you're SOO CLOSE!!

DT: I don't think Winters can withstand any more... and Fusenshoff KNOWS it! Fusenshoff, looking like he's in absolute PAIN as he forces himself back onto his feet... and now he's bringing Winters up! Fuse is giving the signal to the fans... he's going for the DOMINATION!!

DM: Fusenshoff is going ALL OUT right now! There's only two minutes left to put this match away! If he can stay strong for that long, he'll walk out of here with the title by default! The window of opportunity is CLOSING on Layne Winters!

DT: Fusenshoff gets Winters back to his feet... he's trying to lift Winters up, but... he CAN'T!!

DM: Uh oh... Fusenshoff just hit a BRICK WALL! He doesn't have the power to keep this one going!

DT: Fusenshoff... FIGHTING THE PAIN... trying AGAIN to finish off Layne Winters... lifting him up over his shoulders... going for THE DOMINATION...

...

BUT WINTERS SLIPS DOWN HIS BACK!! Fusenshoff didn't have the STRENGTH TO HOLD HIM IN PLACE!! Fuse practically COLLAPSES where he stands!

DM: The opportunity is right there for Layne Winters... he spins Fusenshoff around, and lifts him up for the suplex --

NO!! He's going for THE GREEN RIVER JUSTICE!! HE NAILS IT!!

MN: WOOO-HOOO!!!

DT: Winters hooks both legs...





ONE!!!






TWO!!!






TTTHHHREEEE!!! MY GOD, WE HAVE A NEW CHAMPION!!

[SFX: *DING! DING! DING!* "I Don't Know Anything" by Mad Season hits the PA as Winters releases the pin and falls to the mat in exhaustion.]

TF: Ladies and gentlemen, here is your winner...

...and NEW EMPIRE PRO TELEVISION CHAMPION...

"NEW SCHOOL"... LLLAAAAAYYYYNNNEEE WWWIIIIINNNNTTEERRRSSS!!!

MN: Oh what a BEAUTIFUL DAY!! Somebody FINALLY took that belt off that drunk LOSER!!

DM: What a REMARKABLE display of STRENGTH and ENDURANCE on the part of both men! Both men gave it everything, but in the end, I think Fusenshoff's injury cost him GREATLY in the long run of this match!

DT: You can say that again, Dean-O... I think if Rocko Daymon hadn't hit him with that CHAIR earlier in the night, things would have been MUCH different!

MN: Oh yeah, well I don't think so. I think you guys are writing off the ability of the NEW TV Champ... "NEW SCHOOL" LAYNE WINTERS!!

DM: Okay... credit needs to be given where it's due. Layne Winters gave it his ALL in this title match, and it PAID OFF! It's hard to imagine this is only his FOURTH match here since coming out of the indy federations in the Pacific Northwest and jumping head-first into the big leagues, but in that little time, he's ALREADY brought Empire Pro gold around his waist!

[Winters is handed the EPW TV Title by Rosenkrantz as his arm is raised in victory. He spends a moment grinning WILDLY to the camera amid a crowd of booing fans, until he's literally knocked off his feet by Pamela as she rushes into the ring. The couple roll to the outside and continue celebrating to the spiteful fans as the ref checks on Fusenshoff and calls for EMTs.]

DT: A hard-fought victory for Layne Winters as he joins Pamela in the celebration. He might have put a fight tonight, but I wish he'd be more RESPECTFUL to the Empire Pro fans.

MN: SCREW THEM! Just what have THEY done to deserve his respect?! Layne Winters has been wrestling for SEVEN YEARS, and he just earned the BIGGEST ACCOMPLISHMENT of his career, and all you can do is whine about the fact that he KNOWS he's better than the rest of these snot-nosed idiots?!

DM: EMTs are coming to the ring to help Fusenshoff to the back and patch him up again... oh wait, look who's coming with them!

DT: STALKER?! Strange seeing HIM coming to the aid of Fusenshoff!

MN: What, you really thought he didn't CARE about Fusenshoff? I mean, come on... by now, Fuse should be able to distinguish his friends from his enemies. Stalker is obviously there to be his FRIEND, but Rocko Daymon? Come on, he cracked him over the head with a chair, and pretty much hampered his entire performance in this match!

DM: It's going to be interesting to see how that develops. I don't think it was anything personal on Rocko's part, but Fusenshoff may not see it that way.

DT: Regardless, this night belongs to LAYNE WINTERS, who leaves the ring with the EPW TV Title after a hard-fought battle! Fusenshoff is being led to the back to have his cut attended to. We've got more action on the way fans, so don't leave us just yet!

 

[DBrunkGXW]

DVD SEGMENTS: Dan Ryan fires Tariq Ismail

[CUT TO: Dan Ryan in front of an EPW backdrop.]

RYAN: [smiling] This was just a fun little segment we did. Tariq was leaving the company at the time and he and I got together and wanted to do something humorous involving his character being removed from the company. He was always throwing shoes in his promos and in some matches, so we thought that’d be a funny way of setting it up. It was some interesting foreshadowing too, as this was years before Bush had the shoe thrown at him. So yeah, short segment – but one I’ve always liked. Nice knowin’ ya, Tariq. [Ryan winks and smiles]

[CUT TO: Backstage. We see the inside of Dan Ryan’s office. Ryan is sitting in a highbacked leather chair and Paul Freeman is standing on the door-side of the desk.]

Freeman: I’m serious. I had no idea it wasn’t actually gonna be Hornet.

Ryan: Of course you didn’t.

Freeman: I was assured it was him. I was just as surprised….and uh….upset….when the imposter showed up as you were!

Ryan: Somehow I doubt that.

Freeman: Look, I’ll make sure the kid doesn’t get in the building tonight.

Ryan: Actually, I sent him a backstage pass to the event.

Freeman: You….huh? Wha?

Ryan: That’s right. He’s gonna be a distinguished guest. Treat him accordingly please.

Freeman: You…want him here?

Ryan: [still stoic in expression] Absolutely. In fact, I’m giving him some in-ring time.

Freeman: You’re serious….

Ryan: Extremely.

Freeman: Oookay…well, you’re the boss.

[Ryan smiles that fake business smile]

Ryan: That’s right.

[Just then the door bursts open and a very angry Tariq Ismail storms into the room.]

Ismail: What the hell kind of company do you run here, Ryan? I don’t need this! I am a prince where I come from! A PRINCE!! You don’t treat Tariq Ismail like this! I spit at this company! I want justice!!

Ryan: You want justice huh?

Ismail: I DEMAND IT!!!

Ryan: [looking down at some paperwork] Well I don’t see here in your contract where it says you get a rematch after losing your match. Maybe if you….

[Just then a shoe comes flying into the frame and hits Dan Ryan square in the forehead. Ryan stops mid-sentence, but continues to stare blankly at the papers on his desk.]

Ryan: Did you just throw a shoe at me?

[Ryan slowly looks up and looks at Ismail, who’s now standing with arms crossed and wearing one shoe. Freeman makes an “oh ****” face and slips out the door.]

Ismail: JUS-TICE!!!

[Ryan smiles.]

Ryan: FI-RED!!!

[Ismail’s face goes white in shock, his arms dropping to his sides.]

Ismail: WHAT??

Ryan: You’re right. You don’t need this. And neither do I. You’re fired. Get your things and get out.

Ismail: But the show isn’t even over ye…

Ryan: OUT!

Ismail: You’ll hear from my attorneys Ryan!! This isn’t over!!!

Ryan: [Holding up the shoe] You want your shoe back?

Ismail: BAHH!!!!!

[Ismail storms angrily from the office…..Ryan looks at the shoe and tosses it to the side.]

Ryan: Idiot.

[Fade to the broadcast booth.]

 

[DBrunkGXW]

JA vs. Karl “The Dragon” Brown – Black Dawn 2005 - Intercontinental Title Match

[CUT TO: Anarky, sitting in front of an EPW backdrop.]

ANARKY: Y'know, you look back, and you kind of realize how significant this match was. JA was, of course, already an established EPW presence by now. But Brown is still really looking to prove himself in the upper echelon of EPW, and boy did he. These guys are both professionals and they really made the crowd scream. Whether it was the hardcore bump that Brown took into the chairs, or just the unbelievable ways these two guys managed to counter each other every step of the way, this is one of those matches that really defined both of these wrestlers and showed what kind of workrate it can take to succeed in EPW. Karl Brown won the match, but the fans, who expected to see a less interesting match in Dodd vs. Brown, were treated to a heck of a performance by both athletes. Nobody can argue that JA was a much better matchup, and he's a real bump machine, but he hung with a more technical guy and they both really put in a 5-star performance.

[CUT TO: Ringside.]

DM: He’s a former champion, and he’s definitely a fitting replacement for Sebastian Dodd. It’s going to test how Brown can think in the ring – he’ll have planned for a mat-based match against Dodd, not for a high-flyer like JA.

DT: That’s what I’m worried about – is this going to throw the number one contender off his game-plan?

DM: We’ll find out. Brown is asking the ref if this is OK, but if the boss has signed it it’s OK. Brown did used to say he’d fight whoever Ryan booked him against in whatever match.

MN: That’s how we got the first ever chain match here!!

DT: JA is calling across the ring to Brown to get the match started. Brown now moving to the middle of the ring, and JA now joining him.

[Tentatively, both men tease a lock-up. Just before they engage, Brown stands up, backing away and rolling his neck. Again, the two men go for each other, tentatively, but before they lock-up, JA backs away, taunting Brown with an exaggerated rolling of the neck. Rather than letting it get to him, Brown chuckles to himself, waiting for JA to finish. The two start to inch closer, going for another attempted lock-up]

DT: Both men lock up, but neither seems to have an advantage.

DM: I’m surprised at JA. He’s got the speed advantage and he’s not starting out by making good of it.

DT: Brown now starting to push up, forcing JA onto the back foot. Into the ropes, and the breaks clean… NO!! JA turns Brown into the ropes and hammers him with three hard right hands!!

DM: Brown’s trying to get the hands up, but JA backs away and charges in with a clothesline over the top!! This is where the speed advantage comes in, but Brown’s done a smart thing there by rolling against the apron.

DT: The Anglo Luchador must have caught Brown off-guard there.

MN: Not too difficult that, even for someone like JA. My Hero would’ve slaughtered both these jokers.

DT: The referee telling Brown to get back into the ring, and JA’s holding the ropes open for him!

DM: I’ve known Brown since his career started – you can play around with him outside the ring, but he doesn’t suffer fools when the bell rings. You saw what he did to Hiroshi all those months ago, and he wasn’t in that bad a mood that night.

DT: I’ll agree, Brown’s a talent, but JA’s got to have all the advantages here tonight. Brown was working towards a match with Dodd, and JA’s got a slight weight and major experience advantage.

DM: But Brown’s being smart here, making the ref force JA away from the ropes. So long as Brown doesn’t let JA get into his head he should be fine.

DT: Brown now sliding in on his belly, keeping his eyes on JA, and both men are now standing in centre ring again. Brown asking JA if he wants to try another lock-up by the looks of things.

MN: Snap.

DT: JA backed away there and Brown just slapped the taste out of his mouth!!

DM: Look at his face though, he’s not looking angry. JA’s holding his jaw, and fires back with a slap of his own!

DT: Brown shakes his head and… he’s smiling?

DM: Things look ready to heat up.

[And they do. Brown comes in with a hard right hand, rocking JA and forcing him against the ropes. Brown whips JA off the ropes, catching him on the rebound with a spinning back elbow. JA quickly rolls to his feet, but Brown catches him with a standing drop-kick to the face. JA tries to get up again, but is met with a kick to the gut followed by a side Russian leg-sweep]

DT: Brown with the cover… kickout just after one there, and JA wisely rolling to the ropes. I don’t think he expected that from Brown.

DM: Brown’s more known for his technical game, and I thought he’d look to employ that tonight, but I think he just turned it up a notch to show JA that the luchador isn’t the only one who can go at a higher pace.

MN: Dodd’s faster.

DT: Dodd’s not here, Mike. The fans showing some appreciation for that exchange as JA now seems to be moving with some trepidation, or at least respect.

DM: JA now moving back to the centre of the ring, but Brown cuts him off with a knee to the gut. Following it up with a headlock takedown, he’s got JA almost square on his back!!

MN: Very technical that knee.

DT: Brown synching in the hold. One.. TWO… JA gets the shoulder up there after letting it just sink.

DM: He’s going to have to be careful in this position – one quick lapse of concentration and he could lose the match before it even really begins.

[Referee David Rosenkrantz asks JA if he wants to call it quits, but the masked-man shakes his head as best he can. Starting to rock, he tries to pull Karl’s hair to lock in a headscissors, but the ref calls him on it and the headlock stays on. Finally, though, JA manages to get his leg up high enough to catch Brown across the throat, pushing him down into a headscissors and breaking the headlock. Brown is quick to react, nipping up and out, but JA swings his legs round and sweeps the Englishman to the mat]

DT: One...

TWO…

Kickout by Brown!! JA now scoring with a kick to the head, and a hard elbow to the top of the head there. JA looking to slow Brown down.

DM: Nice somersault neckbreaker from behind there, another quick cover but nowhere near. Smart move from JA, switching the pacing and taking the fight to Brown. A lot of people have discovered to their peril the dangers of underestimating Brown or letting him control the pace.

[Unperturbed, JA picks Brown up, whipping him into the corner, following up quickly with a clothesline. He then staggers the Englishman with a hard right hand, followed by a series of kicks, starting at the thighs before working his way to the gut, chest, and finally with one extra hard shot, the head of Brown. JA then vaults quickly to the outside, before vaulting back in with a hard elbow drop. Sensing he has the advantage, he picks Brown up by the hair, catching him in the throat with a fingertip-strike. Whipping Brown off the ropes, he takes him down on the rebound with a leg-lariat, followed by a somersault legdrop and a cover]

DT: One…

TWO!!

Kickout there by Brown. JA really has Brown on the back-foot here, not letting him guess what speed or from where an attack is coming, as he now twists the neck of Brown.

MN: He’s almost Dodd like.

DM: It’s a smart move, too, going for all these covers. Each time he kicks-out, Brown is using more and more energy. I’ve seen him train, but no amount of stamina will keep you going indefinitely, and JA’s as fit as Brown.

DT: Brown shouting at Rosenkrantz that he has no intention of giving up, and JA picks him up now, applying a side-headlock. Brown though trying to pry his way out of it… and a shot to the kidneys there by Brown, as he’s trying to mount some offence now.

[Brown manages to ease the pressure on his neck, and goes to lift JA up for a suplex, but the veteran lands on his feet before jumping forward and reapplying the headlock. Brown tries to push JA off using the ropes, but JA’s grip remains too strong. Finally, Brown turns, reaching up for the mask of the luchador. Pulling back on the chin of the masked man, he manages to get out of the hold, dropping JA down with a reverse DDT. Both men lay on the mat for a few seconds, before Brown gets to his knees, shaking the cobwebs, as JA rolls to his feet, shaken by the sudden impact but in better shape than his opponent]

DT: JA coming in, but he’s met with a right hand by Brown there, straight to the gut. Brown pushing JA back with one hand, but

MN: SNAP!!

DT: Karl Brown just took JA down with a standing hurricanrana!!

DM: But notice he’s not going for the cover? He’s taking his time to get his breath back, and he’s up before JA. He takes JA down, and he’s grabbed hold of the leg of JA.

DT: Brown now stamping on the back of the hamstring.

MN: Smart move. Keep the man at a crawl.

DM: Brown now going for a standing leg-lock, twisting the leg round and leaning over JA’s body to put more pressure on the knee and hamstring there. JA’s no stranger to methodical wrestling, but he does prefer to fly.

[Still holding onto the leg, Brown performs a somersault over JA, who promptly lets out a cry that can be heard across the arena. Holding his hamstring, JA rolls on the mat, as Brown plants a knee in the ribs of the masked wrestler. Rolling him onto his back, he manages a two count. Unfazed by his opponents resilience, he grabs the leg of JA and performs another somersault, this time holding onto the leg as he gets to his feet. He drags JA over to the ropes, placing the injured leg on the bottom rope, before jumping up and sitting down on the inside of the veterans knee]

DM: This is what Brown’s needed to do all match. He’s found an advantage, and he’s also changed his style to take into account the new opponent.

MN: Wonder how his girl’s going to feel about this? Cheating.

DT: I thought Brown was single?

MN: That’s not what I’ve heard.

DT: Leaving his personal life to one side, Brown comes down again on the knee of JA. It’s a smart move but despicable, and David Rosenkrantz is letting him know it.

MN: My Messiah would still be kicking both their asses.

[Ignoring the admonishments of the referee, Brown steps through the ropes, vaulting over the ropes and coming down with his elbow straight onto the inside of JA’s leg. Rather than going for the cover, Brown rolls to the outside, wrapping his opponents leg across the apron before pulling him out onto the floor]

DT: What’s Brown doing?

DM: Whatever it is I’m sure it’s not going to be fun for JA.

DT: Brown now with JA up by the mask, and a hard chop across the chest. Brown now with a hard slam on the outside.

MN: Not very Doddly.

DM: Careful how you say that, you might get a lawsuit.

MN: Huh?

DM: Never mind.

DT: Someone who should mind is the Anglo luchador, as The Dragon now whipping him back first into the guardrail. Another chop across the chest, and Brown’s certainly slowed down from his first offence tonight.

MN: Walking through to door of the arena?

DM: Someone is so going to hurt you some day, Mike.

MN: Dodd will protect me.

DT: I doubt it. Brown now whipping JA into the barrier down the length of the ring. Charging in… OH MY GOD!!

[Dave’s sentiments are echoed as a “HOLY-SH[beep]!!” chant starts as soon as JA drops down, and somehow manages to back body drop Brown over the barrier, and straight onto chairs that moments before, security, thinking Brown would connect with a clothesline, cleared to protect the fans. Several fans start trying to touch Brown on the shoulders and arms as security restrains them]

DT: Referee Dave Rosenkrantz is coming over, and I don’t believe what we’ve just seen!!

DM: JA’s holding his leg after those shots to the knee and hamstring in the ring, and Brown’s looking in bad shape over the barrier… can we get a replay?

[The screen cuts in two. The live image shows the referee trying to see if Brown’s in any fit state to continue. In the replay, we see the last few steps of Brown charging in, this time on a side-on view. In slow motion, we see JA dip down and force The Dragon into the air. Brown lands squarely, back first, on the backrest of a chair, causing it to topple backwards as a fan was being pulled out of the way. The image repeats, as JA starts to get to his feet on the live shot]

DT: Brown landed on his back on the chairs. Dave Rosenkrantz is talking to him, and he hasn’t raised his arms yet, thank god.

DM: One thing I’d hate to happen is another neck injury like the one Tyrone Walker suffered at Unleashed.

MN: Brown took a chance and it didn’t pay off.

DT: Brown is finally starting to try for his feet, pulling himself up using the referee.

DM: JA on his feet as well now, and he’s got Brown by the head. Rosenkrantz is trying to get JA to back off, though after a few of the tricks Brown’s pulled I don’t think he’s going to have much success.

DT: JA with a shot to the jaw of Brown, hooking the head…SUPLEX TO THE FLOOR!!

DM: I don’t know if that was a smart or dumb move. On the one hand, it does more damage to Brown’s neck and back after going into the chairs. On the other, it takes a lot of length strength to pull a suplex that tightly, and it also takes JA onto the very thin padding out there.

MN: It’s JA and Brown. Whoever’d done something it wouldn’t have been as smart as something Dodd would’ve done.

DT: These two are going at it tooth and nail here tonight. I can’t believe two men could hit each other so hard and not even have been feuding before tonight.

DM: JA’s looking to win another title, and Brown’s looking to win his first. I can understand how this would be a heavy hitting contest. JA now back up to his feet, picking Brown up, and he’s trying to roll him back into the ring.

DT: Cover…

TWO!!

THRNO!!! Brown manages to get the shoulder up at the last minute there. That had to be instinct.

DM: No doubt about it – he’ll be groggy for a while. In the Natural Selection Summer Solstice match, he was eliminated because he couldn’t get his bearings back after a suplex onto a ladder, which allowed the Worlds champion to get the fall.

[In the ring, JA shakes out his leg, holding onto the second rope for support. Picking Brown up by the hair, he executes a backbreaker, letting The Dragon slump onto the canvas before stomping on the chest of the Englishman. Picking him up again, he Irish Whips him across the ring, rolling through and springing up [clearly on his good leg] to take Brown down with a flying shoulder. He looks like he’s going to go for a cover, but instead pulls Brown up and throws him through the middle ropes to the outside on the side closest the ramp]

DT: And now it looks like JA’s got some plans for Brown on the outside!

DM: JA measuring Brown, but I do not recommend this… he hits it!! Vaulting over the ropes with a plancha there, not a smart move this stage in the match, but a risk JA obviously thought worth taking.

DT: I don’t understand how two people could go at it like this for a title.

DM: That’s why you’re this side of the announce booth. Titles mean a lot to a wrestler, especially if you’ve been close to winning them on so many occasions as these two men have.

DT: JA now, trying to pull Brown up, but Brown scores with a shot to the ribs!! Brown now trying to fire back with a right hand, but JA cuts him off with a knee to the gut.

[Following the knee, JA lands a hard elbow to the back of the Englishman’s neck. Brown falls to the floor, rolling away from the ring towards the ramp, and starts to claw his way back up the ramp as the referee joins the two combatants on the outside. JA gives Brown a quick kick to the back, then tries to pick him up again, but Brown connects with a shot to the bridge of the masked mans nose, causing him to tear-up and take a few steps back to try and compose himself. As JA comes back in, Brown is waiting with a forearm smash, which he follows with two hard right hands. David Rosenkrantz tries to get the two men back into the ring, but Brown scoops the masked man up, slamming him hard onto the rampway]

DT: Brown now looking to be back in control, though he’s holding his back a little from that trip into the chairs.

DM: Both these men have been going at it hard, and they’re really feeling it. Brown now rolling JA back into the ring.

DT: Picking him up… hard snap suplex there. Floatover

One…

TWO!

THRNO!! JA just BARELY manages to get the shoulder up. Karl Brown looks annoyed he couldn’t get the three there, as he locks in a reverse chin-lock, forcing JA to carry his weight as well!!

MN: Wake me up when it’s over, you know I hate technical bores.

DM: This has been anything but a clinical technician match, Mike. JA trying to fight, but Brown’s got the hold locked in pretty tight.

DT: And the crowd are starting to clap for the luchador!!

DM: They’ve been pretty split most of the match – I’m thinking they just want this match to go on as long as possible.

DT: Nevertheless, if JA can’t break this hold, the match is going to be over very soon.

MN: Dodd be praised.

DT: JA fading, and he looks out of it. The ref’s going and checking the arm. It goes down once.

Down twice…

Down AND BACK UP!! JA JUST LIFTED HIS ARM AGAIN BEFORE THE REFEREE COULD RING THE BELL!!

[The fans really start to cheer as JA, somehow, manages to clip Brown round the back of the head with a flimsy shot. JA tries a second time, with little effect. A third lands squarer, and a forth lands squarely on the Englishman’s jaw, forcing him to loosen his grip. JA uses this to roll sideways, getting to his feet as quickly as he can, and hitting Brown in the face with a dropkick which leaves both men flat on the canvas]

DT: Both men down now, as JA looks like he’s used the last of any energy he had!!

DM: Referee Dave Rosenkrantz is checking both men, and they’ve done just about all they can to try and keep up with each other in this match. I don’t know how smart that was on the part of JA to try something like a dropkick at this stage in the match, but sometimes when you’re in there, adrenaline kicks in and you don’t always think ahead.

MN: He never does.

DT: The referee now up to three on his count.

Four

Five…

Six… Brown’s starting to stir…

Seven…

Eight… Brown to his knees, trying to get up…

Nine…

JA NIPPED UP!!

[Indeed, the masked man has nipped up, running into Brown with a clothesline as the Englishman just gets to his feet. JA follows the move up quickly with an elbow to the face, before catching Brown before he can get fully to his feet with a belly-to-back suplex. Going to the outside, he signals it’s all about to end]

DT: JA going to the outside, to the top rope.

DM: Bad idea.

DT: Measuring Brown…

DM: Bad idea…

DT: FOURFIFTY NO!!! BROWN MOVED OUT OF THE WAY BUT JA LANDS ON HIS FEET PREMATURELY!!

DM: And Brown thinks he avoided the move!!

DT: JA now springing into Brown in the corner!! Whipping Brown across the ring, catching him with a bulldog in the rebound. Measuring Brown now… LIONSAULT!!

One…

TWO!!

NO!! Brown gets the shoulder up AGAIN!! JA signalling for the end here though.

DM: He’s hooking him around the waist in the gut-wrench position, but he’s having trouble getting him up.

MN: He always does.

DT: Brown’s holding JA’s leg!! The luchador trying to get Brown to release the hold, but Brown won’t budge!! JA releasing the gut wrench, he pushes Brown away.

DM: Brown with a backwards roll, JA charging in, but he misses with the clothesline!! Brown catches him in a waistlock, running to the ropes… CHAOS THEORY!! I NEVER thought I’d see that backwards-roll into a German Suplex performed here!!

DT: One…

TWO…

THRNO!! JA JUST gets the shoulder up at the last possible second there!! What an incredible maneouver!!

DM: That move was made famous by The Anarchist, Doug Williams, from Britain. Fitting that Brown pulls it out here to try and win the IC title.

DT: Brown now telling the ref it was three, but Rosenkrantz is having none of it!! JA trying to get to his feet, and Brown’s arguing with the ref instead of pressing the advantage!! JA now coming up behind Brown, spins him around and a kick to the gut… KARELIN NO!!

DM: Nice counter by Brown, JUST grabbing the leg as JA pulled him up, causing him to lose balance. Both men are down now, and it looks like JA’s leg is hurting from the work Brown did on it earlier.

DT: Both men trying with all they’ve got to get to their feet. Brown up first, waiting on JA… DRAGON’S BITE!! DRAGON’S BITE!!

ONE!!

TWO!!

THREE!!! HE’S DONE IT!!! HE’S WON THE INTERCONTINENTAL CHAMPIONSHIP!!

[sfx: dingdingdingding]

TONY FATORA: Th’ winner of the match… and NEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEWWWWW Empire Pro Wrestling INTERCONTINENTAL CHAMPION… Karl… THE DRAGON… BBBBBBBBBBRRRRRRRRRRRRRRROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWW WWNNNNNNNNNNN!!!

DT: The Dragon is the new Intercontinental Champion and JA.....JA is just as much a class act as there is....just getting to his feet and shaking the hand of the champion....

[Brown climbs a turnbuckle and holds the belt up high for the crowd as flashbulbs go off all over the arena.]

 

[DBrunkGXW]

DVD SEGMENTS: Hornet WINZ

[CUT TO: Dan Ryan sitting in front of an EPW backdrop.]

RYAN: This segment is actually a series of segments. When I first made a name for myself, it was in CSWA – where Hornet made his name and became an industry legend. We’d always talked about doing a little fun bit together and it culminated in these two shows, where we did two segments that I get asked a lot about. Two shows before Black Dawn, Paul Freeman promised to deliver Hornet to EPW and got a bit of a surprise later on – the next week, it happened again - and then, at Black Dawn, the surpriser got surprised right back.

[The Empire Tron flickers to life and we see the inside of Dan Ryan’s office. A few seconds later Paul Freeman steps in and sits down. Ryan stares at some paperwork on his desk, then glances at Paul with a raised eyebrow.]

Freeman: You uh…wanted to see me.

Ryan: Yeah Paul….[Ryan puts his pen down and sits back, giving Freemen his full attention.] As a matter of fact, I wanted to talk to you about your announcement last week. You know, the one about signing Hornet.

Freeman: Look, I meant to talk to you about that. The paperwork is all there. I covered all of my bases.

Ryan: All except I can’t get hold of the man or get any confirmation from his office in Greensboro. Seems he’s on the road right now doing some shows. Odd that he’d agree to be here during a tour.

Freeman: Look, I’ll find out what’s going on and make sure it’s all in order.

[Ryan’s eyes narrow]

Ryan: I don’t like this, Freeman.

Freeman: I’ll take care of it. I promise.

[Ryan sighs, annoyed.]

Ryan: Fine. But I want some sort of confirmation from Hornet’s people soon, or there’s gonna be trouble, Paul.

Freeman: Yes sir.

Later that night…..

[Cut to the hallways in the bowels of the arena where Kenny Lombardo stands outside the main door to Dan Ryan’s offices.]

KL: Hey guys, I’m back here at Dan Ryan’s office and in just a few minutes I hope to get a word with…

[The door swings open and Dan Ryan himself steps out, a little surprised by the camera crew but stopping to speak to Kenny anyway.]

KL: Mr. Ryan, if I could….

Ryan: Sure…

KL: Mr. Ryan, we have word that Hornet has arrived in the building. Your thoughts?

Ryan: Uh…excuse me?

KL: Hornet is here.

Ryan: [eyes narrowed] Said who?

KL: [confused a bit] Well uh…I had spoken to Paul Freeman off the air about fifteen minutes ago and he said that he had arrived, but he wanted to go in and speak with him to make sure everything was in order before coming to see you about it.

[Just then, Paul Freeman comes hurriedly into view – his face is white]

Paul: Look, it’s not my fault. I spoke to his people!! It’s not my fault!!

Ryan: What?? What the hell are you talking about?? What’s not your fault???

[Suddenly out of the side of the camera shot a skinny kid, not more than 5’8” tall and maybe 160 pounds soaking wet – DRESSED LIKE HORNET – comes flying in and attempts a weak Hornet Splash on Dan Ryan.]

Ryan: [easily brushing off the attack as the kid flops to the ground] WHAT THE…..???

[The kid leaps to his feet and runs off screaming over his shoulder]

Kid: I AM THE MIGHTY HORNET!! BEWARE THE SPLASH!! BEWARE THE GLASS CEILING!!! I WILL HOLD YOU DOWN, RYAN!! I WILL HOLD YOU DOWN!!!!!!

[Ryan looks after the kid as his face becomes contorted with anger. Ryan turns to Freeman, and sees him trying to slowly slip away.]

Ryan: FREEMAN!!!!

[Freeman takes off in a dead sprint. Ryan goes after him.]

Ryan: YOUR ASS IS MINE, FREEMAN!!!!

Then, at Aggression 20…

[Neely is interrupted by a roar from the crowd as Dan Ryan stalks out and down the ramp, without music and with a very annoyed look on his face. Ryan stalks to the crew side and rips a microphone from a stagehand’s hand and slides into the ring.]

Ryan: Look, I’m gonna make this really simple….Paul Freeman, to the ring. NOW.

DT: What’s this all about?

DM: Oh, I dunno. My guess is the way he took to the hills after that Hornet debacle last show…

[After a few moments, a very wary Paul Freeman slowly comes down the ramp and climbs into the ring, but stays near a corner.]

Ryan: Paul, really….I think you know why we’re out here. Last week…. [Ryan smiles, despite himself – but a nervous, annoyed smile.] Last week you promised me Hornet. I took you at you word. I took you for someone who deserved a chance to prove himself, and I took you as a man who does his homework.

So Paul, can you tell me why a little skinny white kid who weighed a buck fifty soaking wet, bought a Hornet Halloween costume and tried to Hornet splash me in the RCA Dome hallway?

[The camera cuts to Freeman, who gulps and shakes his head no.]

Ryan: Can you tell me why you should still have your job? Better yet, can you tell me why I shouldn’t put you through…[Ryan points to the announce table] ..that table right there?

[Freeman’s face goes white – but not because of Ryan’s threat. Freeman’s face goes white because behind Dan Ryan in the ring is the same skinny little white boy, dressed like Hornet, face painted, plastic cape flowing.]

Ryan: Can you tell me why you should…..[Ryan stops and stiffens up.] ..He’s behind me isn’t he?

[Freeman winces, his mistake back to haunt him once more – then, he slowly nods.]

[Ryan sighs as a loud “OWWWWWWWWW!!!!!” is screamed out and a small white kid bounces off a large and annoyed Texan to the entertainment of the fans. Ryan turns to see the kid fall to the ground, then pick himself up and try in vain to lift the massive leg of Dan Ryan while signaling weakly for the Scorpion Deathlock. Ryan, for his part, gets more and more annoyed. The kid then streaks for the ropes and dives through the ropes, simply crashing on the floor below to Dan Ryan’s bewilderment. Meanwhile, Paul Freeman slowly and methodically slips out of the ring and slinks up the ramp. Ryan turns to see him and as Freeman catches his gaze, he dashes for the stage and sprints through the curtain. And on the outside, the false Hornet has a microphone as he heads through the crowd.]

Kid: HORNET WINZ!! HORNET WINZ!! HORNET WINZZZ!!!11111

[Dan Ryan stands in the ring, glaring after the kid – as we fade to commercial.]

THEN, at Black Dawn…..

[CUE UP: “Zero” by Smashing Pumpkins as Dan Ryan steps out onto the stage and stares into the crowd to a loud ovation.]

DT: Dan Ryan is out here as we come back, and you gotta wonder what he’s up to?

DM: No telling. But his imprints are all over this show tonight. He’s made it a priority to see that everything runs smoothly and the fans get what they came for.

[Ryan makes it to the ring and calls for a microphone as soon as he gets in.]

Ryan: Ladies and gentlemen, tonight we have a very distinguished guest with us. And no, I’m not talking about Irish Ted….

[The camera cuts to Irish Red in the audience, shaking his head with a smirk and roll of the eyes, then back to Ryan.]

Ryan: No, this is a man who has made himself a part of the show several times over the past few months. A man who had the sheer balls to break into this company through a loophole that Paul Freeman left in a standard contract and made a spectacle of himself. And for that, I offer up my respect. So tonight….I’d like a warm welcome for…..HORNET WINZ!!!!1111 HORNET WINZ!!!!1111

[Suddenly out comes running the skinny kid dressed like Hornet from weeks past. He runs to the ring and slides in under the bottom rope, then lets out a blood curdling “OWWWWWWW!!!!!!!”. Ryan winces a bit, but doesn’t move. The kid runs the ropes and trips coming off, slamming face first to the mat, but quickly gathers himself up and stands in the middle of the ring all jumpy. The people laugh.]

Ryan: Yeah…thanks for being here.

[HORNET WINZ!!!11 smiles and gives a thumbs up, then pulls Ryan’s mic to himself.]

HW: HORNET WINZ!!!!! WHOOOOOOO!!!!!

Ryan: [frowning] Don’t do that.

[The kid mouths the words “sorry”.]

Ryan: As I was saying, you are my distinguished guest tonight. As a matter of fact, you’ve created quite a fanbase for yourself. I’ve been getting letters, getting phone calls all from people eager to meet you. So what I did was conduct a little….oh….private contest so to speak…..whereby one lucky winner would get to meet you live in the ring here at Black Dawn.

[HORNET WINZ!!!111 smiles and kinda gayily hops back and forth from foot to foot.]

Ryan: In fact….

[The crowd just ERUPTS….as a man in a long trenchcoat and baseball cap slips through the crowd and climbs over the guardrail, then climbs into the ring behind the kid.]

DT: HOLY….

DM: CRAP…..

MN: YOU’VE GOT TO BE ****TING ME!!!!!

Ryan: ….in fact……he’s already here.

[HORNET WINZ!!!!111 looks confused as the man behind him slowly takes off the trenchcoat. The man pulls off the baseball cap to fully reveal what everyone had already noticed….the trademark facepaint, the hair cut close……HORNET.]

DT: THAT’S….THAT’S HORNET!!! THE REAL HORNET!!!

DM: I really REALLY hope that kid has life insurance….

Ryan: Turn around, kid.

[The kid turns around and goes absolutely limp as he stares at Hornet glaring down at him.]

Ryan: Wait, did I say he was a fan? By fan I meant….not amused with your impersonation.

[Suddenly the kid gets a burst of courage and dashes into the ropes and flies at Hornet, bouncing off and catching himself on the ropes, stun-gunning himself in the process.]

Ryan: [Looking at Hornet] Paul? He’s all yours…

[Ryan smiles and climbs out of the ring as Hornet raises a fist and looks into the crowd to a thunderous ovation.]

DT: Dan Ryan has delivered this kid up to Hornet!! Perhaps the biggest star in the history of this sport!!

DM: Oh man….poor poor kid….well, I guess humor only gets you so far.

DT: Hornet over to the kid now and pulling him to his feet….HARD IRISH WHIP TO THE CORNER!!! HE’S CALLING FOR IT!!!!

[Hornet: “OWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!”]

DT: HORNET SPLASH!! HORNET SPLASH!!!! THE KID’S EYES ARE GLAZED OVER AND HE’S JUST STUMBLING OUT INTO THE RING AND COLLAPSING IN A HEAP!!!

MN: This isn’t fair!! The kid was just having some fun!!

DM: You wanna be the one to tell that to Hornet?

MN: Uhh…..what? wait….where am I? I’ve been sleepwalking again!!

DT: Hornet over and hooking the legs!!! SCORPION DEATHLOCK!!! SCORPION DEATHLOCK!!! THE KID IS WRITHING IN AGONY AND HORNET IS YELLING DOWN AT HIM!!!

DM: This is wrestling’s version of a spanking, guys. Nothing more, nothing less.

DT: Hornet now releasing the hold and pulling the kid to his feet!! He’s got him by the hair and just tosses him over the ropes and to the floor!! I dare say this is a night this kid will never forget!!

DM: Nor will these fans!

DT: Hornet standing tall in the ring and listen to this ovation!!

[Hornet fetches his coat and climbs out of the ring, walking past the kid and throwing a smirking glance down at him as he walks up the ramp. He pauses once more at the top as the crowd salutes him once again, then goes through the curtain.]

DT: Just amazing, guys! I gotta tell ya, if you told me that Hornet…the real Hornet would be here tonight I would’ve called you crazy. The man rarely ventures out of CSWA, so this is a rare treat indeed.

MN: O-VER-RATED……O-VER-RATED….O-VER…..uh….rated….

DM: Yeah, you’re a one man chant there Neely. I don’t think you’re gonna be able to get that one started.

MN: Kiss ups.

 

[DBrunkGXW]

Troy [c] vs. Beast vs. Hiroshi vs. Stevens vs. Melton vs. Brown - Unleashed 2006

[CUT TO: Dan Ryan sitting in front of an EPW backdrop.]

RYAN: It doesn’t get much bigger than this. This was probably the most difficult defense of Lindsay’s title reign, taking on five of the best we’ve ever had at one time. All week long we had set up a series of events to stage some trash talk between everyone involved, and everybody just let loose with a classic set of promotional pieces. This also ended with the beginning of the infamous Troy Windham kidnapping angle, one of the defining stories of Lindsay’s reign as well. As for the match itself, it was as amazing as you’d expect and another really really well wrestled main event.

FADEIN: A close-up shot of a teenage fan in the UNITED CENTER sporting a #23 home jersey and a replica - plastic mind you - of the EPW WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT TITLE! The kid mugs for the camera as his buddies pour into frame. Do people act this way at the Zoo? Do the animals when we’re not around?

CUTTO: A giddy Tony Fatora in the middle of the ring, black and white tuxedo a size too tight. Fatora straightens his bow tie and blushes as the CHEERS of anticipation filter in.

TONY FATORA: Ladies and Gentlemen! [MARK!] Time for our MAIN EVENT!

MN: [V/O] I love those words Dave. They usually mean public humiliation for some poor sod.

DT: [V/O] Don’t confuse “Main Event” with “Last Call.”

MN: [V/O] You know, that’s a point.

TONY FATORA: Five men and one WOMAN [Crowd cheers!] for the EPW WORLD HEAYVWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP! Sixty-minute time limit! Elimination match! First, our challengers!

MUSIC UP: "Rainmaker" by Iron Maiden.

[MARK!]

CUTTO: “The Dragon” Karl Brown stepping onto the gantry, arms outstretched, assuming victory. Respectful cheers fall like rose pedals paving Karl’s walk to the ring. Confidence is quiet; over confidence are his peers.

TONY FATORA: A six-foot Chap. From the homeland! The Dragon! KARL BROWN!

CUTTO: Karl Brown walking around the ring, glancing into the crowd but otherwised focused.

DT: [V/O] The Dragon has had a shot at this belt before, and guys, nobody’s talking about Brown walking out of here with the title but he could damn well do it.

MN: [V/O] Ugh. Talking about Karl Brown is like eating a Rice Cake.

DM: [V/O] Why is that?

MN: [V/O] What else do you say, but “Can I have something else?”

DT: [V/O] Please…

MUSIC UP: “Sigillum Diaboli" - H.I.M

[MARK!!!]

CUTTO: The Empiretron. The vastness of Space. Suddenly, Kin Hiroshi flies by on a broom. [Crowd cheers]

CUTTO: Kin Hiroshi on the gantry, “How am I here?” grin wearing him.

TONY FATORA: From the great state of Tokyo, this six-foot wonder weighed in at
235 lbs. Put your Muffins together for KIN HIROSHI!

CUTTO: Hiroshi gladly letting Karl Brown hold the ropes for him, then patting Sean on the back. Karl extends his hand, and Hiroshi kisses it.

DT: [V/O] You know, it alarms me that Kin Hiroshi really thinks he’s Jean-Luc Picard. Not sure why it should, but maybe it’s just with Hiroshi in general I’m frightened.

MN: [V/O] Can’t blame you. What did you do before winning the EPW World Title? I sold muffins. Gutting, really.

DM: [V/O] It’s like buying Ice Cream from a neighborhood vendor, and then seeing him on Dateline NBC years later profiled as a computer predator. Vanilla, just isn’t Vanilla anymore after that revelation, huh?

MN: [V/O] What the hell are you talking about?

MUSIC UP: “Love Is A Battlefield” by Pat Bentar

[MARK!]

CUTTO: The Empiretron. A quick slide-show of Joey’s greatest EPW moments. Then we CUTTO Melton strutting out on the gantry. Another sold-out arena, another million-dollar gate he’ll take credit for. It’s easy really. Smile, wave, play nice and crow the loudest when nobody is quite sure how the business came to this.

TONY FATORA: A man who needs no introduction but contractually must be given the longest of the night. You say it's not fair, and five other contestants are liable to agree. The former Sexual All-American! The man who once brought all of Korea together! A hero in a world where there are none. 6'1, 210, JOEY MELTON!

CUTTO: Melton climbing the ring steps, loving the signs that read, “Where’s Cameron?” He’s in the back watching you irritants. Where Melton left him.

DT: [V/O] Fun fact, Joey Melton won a World Title last millennium.

DM: [V/O] Neely is speechless. Bless you Dave.

DT: Three down, three to go... this match has the makings to be perhaps the greatest World Championship match in the history of Empire Pro Wrestling! Those three men in the center of that ring look primed for competition... I can't began to imagine who's going to win this thing!

MN: Not any of those three, I'll tell you that! As I look around, a couple of those guys shouldn't even BE in this match! These guys are chumps compared to what's coming next!!

DM: This is coming from a guy who has never wrestled a single match in his life...

MN: Hey, hey, hey!! I wrestle a different chick every night! I'm a world champ in my own right, baby!

[Suddenly, the VIDEO-tron lit up, as the "Blue-Eyed Badass' Sean Stevens' dressing room door swung open and he sauntered out, bottled 'Evian' in hand. His hair hung down his back, and was soaked from the showers, as he was dressed in his 'go time' gear, consisting of black tights with his trademark neon blue 'X' all over them, and a black, "Planet Earth's Champion" wife-beater.

On his way to the gorilla position, he stopped in front of an <b>'EPW Presents: UNLEASHED'</b> backdrop, as EPW backstage interviewer, Kenny Lombardo stood in front of it with a mic.]

LOMBARDO: All the hype ... all week there has been talk about what's going to transpire in that ring tonight. Well, Sean ... tonight is THAT night. Tell us again, what do you expect to see happen.

[Stevens unscrewed the cap off of his bottle and took a sip.]

STEVENS: You're gonna see a LEGEND, a GREAT champion and AMBASSADOR for this company and business take center stage ... and, oh yeah ... Joey Melton and Lindsay Troy'll be there as well. Kenny, what you'll see tonight won't be able to be explained in one viewing. Ladies and Gentlemen, get your VCRs, your TiVO, and recording devices ready because you're gonna need to witness this event more than once.

[Stevens snatched the mic out of Lombardo's hand.]

STEVENS: When I came to Empire Pro ... my goal was to win the World Heavyweight Championship. The fact that I'm about to accomplish that goal so soon isn't surprising because if you've seen me perform, you know that ANYTHING is possible on any given night. I turn witnesses into BELIEVERS, and tonight, Lindsay Troy, Joey Melton, Dragon Boy, Muffin Man, and Beast .. you, too get to become a believer. Because I GUARANTEE you, when it's all said and done, *I* will be the last man standing in that ring. Hit my music, it's GO TIME!

[The VIDEO-tron faded out, as "I'm a KING" by TI began to blare over the PA system.]

DT: Well, you can't deny Triple X's confidence ... some would even go so far as to say it's ARROGANCE!

MN: It's not arrogance. When you're great, you're great ... and, THAT man oozes GREATNESS! "TRIPLE X" Sean Stevens may just be my new favorite wrestler.

DM: If you could ever get him to stop talking and wrestle.

[The curtain parted two ways, as Stevens stepped through pausing at the top of the ramp, before thrusting his arms into the air, revelling in his time in the spotlight. Trip walked on both sides of the stage before making his long, dramatic saunter down the aisle into the ring. Once, inside, he took off his t-shirt, tossing it to one of the sexy EPW girls, whispering something that looked like, "After the match, ladies" in their direction, before finding a turnbuckle and climbing it for some more celebration.

The crowd boos were very passionate. But, just like he ignored the three men standing in the ring, you could hardly tell that he noticed.]

MUSIC UP: “Figure You Out” - Nickelback

[Crowd ROARS]

CUTTO: Beast stands on top of the gantry surrounded by EXPLOSIONS. Few, if any in this business cut a more imposing figure. He played the fool a year ago, because it was needed. If he destroyed the five top names in this company in less than an hour, could he still call EPW a home worth owning? It’s a shoe he’s worn like an old drum. What if it still fits? What if? [screams of terror] What if?

TONY FATORA: A former EPW World Champion, a man too noble to be Prime Minister, he's rockin', he's sockin', he's a damn BEAST!

CUTTO: Beast RUNNING to the ring and DIVING through the bottom rope into the ring. The other four combatants scatter as the crowd LOVES it.

MN: [V/O] Is Fatora high? I mean there’s a time when we all stopped asking, but seriously. Is he high?

DT: [V/O] All kidding aside, Beast is the man to beat and we all know it.

MN: [V/O] We’re all men to beat. Nature, luv.

DM: There's only one more person to come out, boys...and you all know who it is.

MN: The Geiko gecko?

DT: [Hits Neely upside the head]

MN: WHAT?!

The EmpireTron begins to flicker intently before going completely to black. A loud HUM of audio feedback fills the arena before all the lights go out completely.

DM: What the hell?

MN: That's it, the Apocalypse is upon us. Thomas, hold me!

DT: Do I need to hit you again?

DM: No, but I’m jealous.

A spotlight suddenly shines down into the center of the ring, illuminating a furious Beast, who's breathing heavily in anger. Then, four more spotlights shine down upon Melton, Stevens, Hiroshi and Brown, who all look a bit confused at the display. Beast starts pacing in the ring, the spotlight following his movements, while an all-too familiar phrase slowly fades onto the screen of the Empiretron.

"Do you really have to be the ice queen intellectual or the slut whore....?

....isn't there someway to be both?"

The spotlights on the five challengers immediately disappear and instead are cast down upon the stage with a single yellow spotlight in the center.

MUSIC UP: "Chip Away the Stone" -- AEROSMITH

The crowd erupts at the change of music [let's face it, I think we were all getting tired of the rap number.] Pyro erupts with each drum beat and the LINDSAY TROY appears on the stage as soon as Steven Tyler starts singing.

"You act like a primadonna,
Playin so hard to get.
Sittin so cool and nonchalant,
Draggin on a cigarette..."

Troy stands underneath the yellow spotlight, belt wrapped around her waist, giving each one of her competitors a once-over before focusing on Beast in the center of the ring. He starts yelling at her to get down there, immediately...right this very second, but still she stands, giving him that infuriating smirk while the crowd explodes throughout the arena.

"You keep a wall all around you,
And I'll get through someday.
I want your love babe, but push come to shove,
Gonna chip that stone away..."

While Beast gives Troy all of his attention, he doesn't notice Melton sneak into the ring behind him and clobber him between the shoulderblades with a STIFF forearm. Troy immediately runs down to the ring, unstrapping the belt from around her waist in mid-stride and jumps onto the apron. With a springboard into the ring, she takes both Beast and Melton down with a DROPKICK.

TONY FATORA: Standing 6’3, and weighing in at 170 lbs, from Tampa, Florida. She’s YOUR WORLD CHAMPION!

[CUTTO: Kin Hiroshi throwing Fatora over the top rope!]

DT: [MARK!] We’ve lost Fatora and the Main Event has officially begun!

[SFX: DING! DING!]

TONY FATORA: [V/O] LINDSAY TROY!

DT: The World champion hit the ring with business on her mind! Lindsay springs to the middle rope…Troy off the turnbuckle with a double clothesline on Melton and Beast, but both men catch her! [CUTTO: Melton and Beast sharing a look] DOUBLE HOT SHOT OVER THE TOP ROPE! Rivals working together in the early seconds!

MN: Cats and dogs getting along, black turning into white…

DT: It’s Karl Brown with a clubbing right forearm to the back of Melton’s neck! Karl scoops up Joey, as Beast pounds away on Lindsay Troy, HIROSHI WITH A DROPKICK! [CUTTO: Brown slamming Melton down, falling on top of him for the pin!] Senior Referee Pat Jones in position, ONE, TWO….[CUTTO: Lindsay Troy who was hammered outside by Beast, reaching under the bottom rope and pulling Melton from the ring.]

DM: Save by the man of the family!

MN: You mean, on the man of the family.

DM: I got it right.

DT: Troy and Melton exchanging words, you had to figure going in they’d work together, oh! OVER THE TOP ROPE COMES HIROSHI! Double flying body press! The fans in the front row had to run for cover!

MN: Please if Lindsay Troy would’ve bounced off the mat, over the railing, and into their laps…it’s the most sexual contact any of those kids have had in ages.

DT: All three combatants to their feet, Brown unleashing a right hand over Joey’s right eye! [CUTTO: Hiroshi Irish Whipping BEAST up and OVER the top rope.] [MARK!] BEAST sails over the top quadruple body press! Beast up and roaring! Hiroshi last in line…OVER THE TOP ROPE, BULLDOG!! Hiroshi just bulldogged Beast over the top of the security railing!

[EPW! EPW! EPW!]

DT: Sean Stevens watching it all with a bemused look. He threatens a run to the ropes but backs off! He’s letting the rest of the group take the early shots. And why not.

DM: I go back to the Champ saving Melton. One eliminated makes her job easier. She can jerk him later.

DT: Troy sending Karl Brown hard into the railing as Jones counts, but he might as well count to one hundred! One eliminated, but if Melton goes out first, nobody to work with. Troy’s job is to survive. Smart play by the World Champion!

DM: If, Melton works with her. He wants this just as bad as anyone!

[SFX: WHOMP!]

DT: Hiroshi whips Beast into the ring steps! The former EPW Champion grabbing at his heck, boys he may already be hurt. Melton in the ring, imploring Jones to count! [CUTTO: Troy delivering a martial arts style kick to the back of the Muffin Man’s neck.] Pat Jones reminding Melton the belt doesn’t switch hands on a count out.

MN: Senior moment.

DT: Now, it’s Stevens getting in the action! A clothesline over the back of Melton’s neck! Joey forgot he was there!

MN: That’s okay, the wrestling world pretty much forgot about him over the last two years as well.

DT: Karl Brown on the apron trying to get back in the ring, but it’s LINDSAY TROY with a SHOT to Brown’s groin! Karl hung over the middle rope like a sack of, well…

DM: Careful.

DT: Stevens POWERSLAMS Melton as he comes off the ropes! A quick pin! ONE…TWO….NO! [MARK!] Joey up! [CUTTO: Hiroshi Irish Whipping Beast into the railing, but Beast reverses!] [SFX: BAM!] Hiroshi hit back first, hard, against the barrier that keeps the mob from Mike Neely!

MN: Segregation is a great thing, if uses correctly.

DT: BEAST FLYING CLOTHESLINE!! [CUTTO: Beast and Hiroshi going INTO the crowd.] In ring, Stevens drops an elbow over Melton’s mush! Joey flopping around in pain. I think that bastard chipped a tooth!

[CUTTO: Lindsay Troy positioned behind Karl Brown on the apron.]

MN: That’s okay. Some of our greatest leaders have had fake teeth. George Washington anyone? But, yeah, let’s hope Melton keeps his own.

DT: TROY [MARK] OFF THE ARPON, ONE HAND GERMAN SUPLEX! My word! Brown splattered over the mat! And the World Champion hands on to the ring ropes with a free hand! [Crowd starts clapping!] What a move!

DM: Here comes Trip!

DT: Stevens running at Troy, jumps over the top rope, has Troy…DDT FROM THE APRON! All in one motion! [CUTTO: Troy on the mat, grabbing at her head and neck.] That was sick!

MN: How bout Brown rolling out of the way. I like to give credit to men who can avoid potential disaster.

DT: Beast and Hiroshi trading blows! Kin giving up a considerable height and weight advantage, getting the worst of it! Beast, hooks the leg! VERTICAL SUPLEX!! [CUTTO: Beast suplexing Hiroshi back over the railing!] Trip up first, clutching his left hip…that move may have hurt him worse than Troy, MELTON with a kick to the back of the mat while standing on the apron! Joey off the apron, DOUBLE AXE HANDLE! Brown up and charging at Joey, but Melton with a thumb to the eye. Joey, aligns The Dragon against the apron, KNIFE EDGE CHOP! KNIFE EDGE CHOP AGAIN! Brown with a left forearm uppercut that shakes Melton’s base!

[CUTTO: Beast throwing Hiroshi into the group of bodies.]

DT: Karl wisely, rolling Joey back in the ring, and follows! No! Lindsay Troy grabs his left foot and pulls him back! Troy with a right! Blocked! BROWN STANDING DROPKICK! And Troy [SFX: THEE-WACK] helplessly as she lands HARD against the railing!

[CUTTO: Triple X stepping on and over Kin Hiroshi.]

MN: I don’t understand why he didn’t step over. People have been doing it for years.

[CUTTO: Beast around the corner, setting up a table.]

DT: Triple X again, stepping over the throat of Kin Hiroshi! Come on!

TRIPLE X: [to Camera] What? [BOOOO] I didn’t see him!

DT: Stevens taking interest in a beaten Lindsay Troy! Her arms outstretched over the railing! [CUTTO: Melton reaching over the ropes, grabbing Karl Brown’s head and pulling him into the ring.] Stevens walking slowly to Lindsay. This can’t be good!

DM: She’s helplessly right now, Dave. I don’t think Troy knows where she is.

MN: Usually it’s the other way around. Melton oblivious and Troy feeding him lines.

[CUTTO: Trip grabbing the back of Troy’s hair and bending her over the railing, as he kisses her. You know, one of those long, deep, passionate, guess what I had for breakfast kisses.]

DT: That’s disgusting! Stevens essentially sexually assaulting our World Champion.

MN: Disgusting. That’s how a man should treat a woman. You wait, in five minutes he’s probably going to [Censor] her.

DM: Oh geez..

TRIPLE X: Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!

[MARK!]

DT: Stevens SCREAMING in pain, as Troy backs him up…SHE’S BITING HIS TONGUE!

MN: SAVAGE!

DT: Troy with a uppercut to the family jewels! [MARK!] HIROSHI WITH A RUNNING KNEE LIFT! And Stevens is knocked into next Tuesday! [Crowd stands and cheers! Those who weren’t already standing!] The Muffin Man and the Queen Of The Ring smile, and share a high-five!

MN: Lovely.

DT: Hiroshi turns and clothesline, NO! Troy was ready for him, ATOMIC DROP! [CUTTO: Hiroshi cracked, and then springing into the iron post!] BRAINBUSTER in ring! Melton drops Brown! He may eliminate Karl Brown! Pat Jones counts! ONE…TWO…. [CUTTO: BEAST off the top rope with an Alabama Jam!] Count effectively broken!

MN: I can’t keep up with all the action, Dave. I’m going to turn the left side of my head set into the Spanish broadcast.

DT: Stop. Trip with a kick to the back of Lindsay Troy! [BOOOO] Snap suplex! Sean, standing over Troy and just SLAPPING her face! Come on! Stevens isn’t even focused on wrestling, he’s trying to degrade our World Champion!

MN: He wants to know where his baby, baby, baby, baby back ribs are.

DM: Back to the kitchen, huh Mike?

MN: Hey, it’s not me. It’s Stevens, but yes, that’s my sense of things.

DT: Beast Irish whips Melton, BACK BODY DROP OVER THE TOP ROPE!! [SFX: CRASH!] AND THROUGH THE TABLE! [MARK!] Mercy me. Joey Melton just went through a table! KARL BROWN PUSHES BEAST INTO THE ROPES….rollup….ONE….TWO….THREEE!!

[MARK!]

MN: YES!!!

DT: Will you shut up!

TONY FATORA: Ladies and Gentlemen, “The Dragon” Karl Brown has eliminated BEAST!! [MARK!]

DT: Triple X, positioning Troy’s face and neck under the security railing! If he does what I think he’s going to do…..[CUTTO: Stevens grabbing Troy’s legs, setting up to catapult her into the railing.]

DM: This could bust Troy’s windpipe at the least…

MN: I know!

DT: SEAN NO! [CUTTO: Stevens falling down, catapulting Troy up, but Lindsay pushes the railing out of the way as she flies up, safely, and SPRINGS on top of the apron! [MARK!] TROY! WHAT A MOVE! Lindsay spinning leg drop off the apron! Oh man! HIROSHI WITH A CHAIR! [SFX: THUD!]

MN: Good serve out wide by Hiroshi!

DT: This is not a Tennis match! Swinging a chair shouldn’t even be a legal move! [MN: Like all 6 guys in the ring at once IS?] Troy, Dean…she’s split wide-open. Hiroshi and Stevens have drawn blood from the Queen.

[CUTTO: Melton stirring in a broken mess that WAS the table. He looks at his left hand and wiggles his fingers. All five are there. Check.]

DM: Kin scoops and body slams the Queen right on that chair! Troy’s never been afraid to bleed for a win, Dave. And that’s a great thing, because it’s four against one, and when you’re the one who came into this match with an accessory, you’re the most likely to leave naked.

MN: YES! She’s an ignorant slut, but two hours working with the two of you and I need a shot of fleshy areolas.

DT: Hiroshi rolls the Queen in the ring, and follows right behind! But it’s Brown with a cover! ONE, TWO….Troy with a foot on the bottom rope as Hiroshi finally gets in the ring! Karl nearly stealing an elimination from the Muffin Man! And Kin’s not amused! Kick to the back of Brown’s neck! Hiroshi pulls Karl to his feet, Irish Whip into the ropes..Brown leap frogs Hiroshi off the ropes, NO! Stevens pulled the top rope down and Brown takes a nasty spill! [MARK!] Trip made a desperate lunge, just in time!

MN: You promised me nudity Matthews. If it’s yours by night’s end, so be it.

DT: Hiroshi backs Troy into a corner! He’s on the middle rope and peppering Troy’s forehead with sharp left hands! [Crowd counts] One, two, three, four, five! TROY HOOKS THE LEGS! And carries Hiroshi to the center of the ring, Atomic Drop! Troy roundhouse kick! Hiroshi dropped hard! Troy sprints to the ropes, MOONSAULT OFF THE ROPES! But Hiroshi got his feet up! [CUTTO: Troy gasping for air and rolling next to Kin.] Here comes Triple X! He jumps on the middle ropes, DOUBLE LEGDROP! [Fans applaud]

MN: This is what I like to see from a good heel. He’s opened up a woman, now he just has to make her submit!

DM: Troy pulled the shocker of the year to get the World title….she’s going to have to have another miracle up her sleeve to hold on to it. At any give time the four of them can gang up and take her out.

[CUTTO: Brown whipping Melton into the security railing. He throws a chair at Joey, which Melton catches. Brown with two big steps goes to leap off the floor for a dropkick, but Melton steps in and WHACKS him with a chair shot.]

DT: Trip stands Troy up, AD. STRETCH! He’s got the arm hooked, and he’s pulling back on Troy’s hair! Which is beginning to become blood soaked! Hiroshi up, trying to decide if he shot take a shot at Trip or not!

DM: If these idiots were smart, they’d get the World Champion out of the way. For a year now they’ve had to deal with the agony and embarrassment that comes with a Woman holding a MAN’S BELT. Make that change right now.

MN: I’ve never loved you more than I do right now.

DT: Hiroshi may be on the same wavelength Dean. He’s motioning to Trip and headed up top! Stevens, standing leg scissors as Hiroshi stands on the top turnbuckle! Trip’s got Troy up, SPIKED PILEDRIVER! [CUTTO: Troy’s neck spiking into the mat! Immediately she grabs her neck and SCREAMS.]

MN: OH MY GAWD THEY KILLED LINDSAY!

DM: Rock, paper, scissors to see who pins her.

DT: Stop! Trip does cover! Hiroshi walks off to find presumably find Karl Brown! Pat Jones in position, ONE….TWO….[CUTTO: Melton diving in with an elbow to make the save.] [MARK!] Melton with a stick save, and a beaut! You wondered if he’d work as a team with Troy, and the answer is a resounding YES! Joey to his feet, but its Stevens with a right hand! Another! An-blocked! Melton with a right jab! A forearm uppercut! Melton spreads Trip over the ropes, KNIFE EDGE CHOP! Joey backing Stevens into a corner, knee to the stomach! IRISH WHIP INTO THE CORNER AND STEVENS FLIPS OVER THE TURNBUCKLE! [CUTTO: Stevens hung on the ring wire between the Iron post and the turnbuckle, reaching a higher tune than he did this morning.]

MN: I think Karl Brown’s lost a tooth and Triple X just lost his right nut!

DM: One of the two just hit me in the eye.

DT: Geez… [CUTTO: Hiroshi pounding on Brown outside the ring!] Melton slowly walking over to a fallen Lindsay Troy! Guys, that neck is broken, there’s no two ways about it. We need medical down here, right now!

MN: I didn’t want her to walk out as champion, just not like this…

DT: Joey reaching down to tend to Troy, the concern evident on his face, WHAT! INSIDE CRADLE BY TROY! Jones…ONE……….TWO…TH-NO!! [MARK!] Melton rolled outside of the ring JUST in the nick of time! Troy just took a shot at eliminating her lover!

MN: Don’t trust anything that bleeds for five days and doesn’t die! Whoever said that had a point!

DM: I think Melton is pissed, and why shouldn’t he be… [CUTTO: Joey reaching under the bottom rope and dragging Lindsay outside.]

DT: Oh, it’s a game, business only when Joey tries to wrestle Troy….is that it? Melton KNIFE EDGE CHOP and Troy falls back into the ring apron. You could hear that one in the nose bleed section! ANOTHER CHOP!

MN: Just imagine the two of them going at it like this in Troy’s dungeon. Actually, I think I’m going to turn off my mic, crawl under the table, and imagine just that.

DT: Eck. Melton scoops up Troy….but he can’t find anywhere to dump her!

MN: Buyer’s remorse! She just suckered you into a near fall Melton, don’t be a pansy!

DT: BACK BREAKER! Melton dumped Troy right over his right leg!

MN: She’s been a very bad girl! Yeah, for real, I’m gone.

[CUTTO: Hiroshi back in the ring, climbing the ropes behind Trip.]

DM: The fans urging Melton to go at it with Troy, and whatever reservations he’s having, they’re over. FIGURE FOUR! Melton with his finishing move on Troy, outside the ring!

DT: He’ll be sleeping on the couch for weeks I’m sure! Hiroshi has Triple X up, standing on the top turnbuckle! They both are! [CUTTO: Brown climbing the opposite turnbuckle] Kin, arms hooked around Steven’s waist, GERMAN SUPLEX OFF THE TOP! WITH A ROLL OVER BRIDGE!! [MARK!!] Jones to count, Stevens is gone for sure! ONE….TWO!! [CUTTO: Karl Brown jumping off the top rope.] LEG DROP BY BROWN ON HIROSHI! [MARK!]

MN: These people are idiots. Let someone get eliminated! Lessen the field. He’s not Canadian is he?

DM: No, that one already left.

DT: Brown off the ropes, cartwheel between the two bodies [MARK!] OFF THE MIDDLE ROPE, SPINNING FROG SPLASH ON STEVENS! These fans also screaming because Troy just reversed the Figure four! OHMY!

[CUTTO: Outside the ring, where Melton YELLS in serious pain as Troy has the Figure Four reversed.]

DT: What a match this has been up to this point! Five people with the opportunity to walk out of here as World Champion! Jones counts to TWO on a cover, but Stevens kicks out! Brown on the mat, hooks the leg, STF! He’s got the STF on Triple X! A finishing move!

MN: Good thinking. He’s a quitter. Kid has been out of the sport for the last year, and he’s quit on every relationship after the cum shot.

DM: You know, that was actually fun.

MN: Thank you.

DT: Pat Jones asking Stevens if he wants to quit….Hiroshi wisely letting the submission take place, no…no he’s not! CAMEL CLUTCH by Hiroshi ON THE DRAGON! DOUBLE SUBMISSION MOVE! [MARK!]

MN: Dog pile, reminds me of your wife’s sixteenth birthday party Matthews.

DM: I thought I picked her up from school that day…

[SPLIT-SCREEN SHOT: Troy with the reversed figure four on Melton, and Stevens and Brown bellowing in pain, and denial.]

DT: Actually, TRIPLE SUBMISSION MOVE! Though if Melton gave up, it’d make about as noise as a tree falling in the forest! He can’t do it from there! Will either Brown or Stevens give it up? Will then let a chance at winning the WORLD’S HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP pass them by?

MN: Exactly. They’re not like Doritos. If you crunch, Ryan and Freeman may not make more.

DT: Steven’s has his hand out! HE’S GOING TO GIVE IT UP! NO! HE PULLS IT BACK IN! BROWN HAS TO BREAK THE STF! Trip crawls out from the scene! HIROSHI SITS DOWN ON THE CAMEL CLUTCH! Jones right in The Dragon’s face, asking! You the know the answer, but how long can he hold out! SUPERKICK BY TRIPLE X TO HIROSHI’S FACE! [SFX: THUD!] Brown lives on!

DM: It’s so competitive in there Dave that NOBODY wants to give up a pin! It’s almost a badge of honor to be the one that eliminates someone!

MN: Yeah, we have some real thinkers in there obviously.

DT: If that’s the case, Brown has one merit badge for eliminating Beast! Stevens has Karl to the ropes on and his feet! IRISH WHIP! Brown off the ropes, Trip with a clothesline that misses! The Dragon ducked, off the ropes again OHHHHH MERCY! [CUTTO: Triple X dropping Brown with a superkick to the side of the neck.] The air just went out of the building, that’s how brutal that kick was….Stevens covers, and Hiroshi’s letting it happen…ONE…..TWO…..THREE!!! [MARK!]

TONY FATORA: Ladies and Gentlemen, Karl Brown has been Eliminated by “Triple X” Sean Stevens!! [Boooo]

DT: Trip kicks Brown out of the way and goes toe-to-toe with Hiroshi in the corner! Four combatants left! Hiroshi with a groin shot! DDT on Stevens!! [CUTTO: Lindsay Troy with Melton in a standing leg scissors.] The lover’s quarrel continues…

MN: And we’re all the richer for it…

DT: Troy pulls Joey up….RAZOR’S EDGE! [MARK!] Melton’s body bounced off the mat! HERE COMES HIROSHI! [CUTTO: Kin scaling the top rope and executing a Hurricanrana!] BABY WHAT A MOVE! Kin not letting Troy get hear bearings for a second! The United Center ERUPTED with that one!

MN: Chicago doesn’t want Troy to win either! Good people!

DT: They’re a fan of good wrestling, that’s all it means! . Hiroshi rolls Troy back in the ring! He wants to take out Troy!

MN: Who doesn’t? She’s smart, fit, sassy, and according to Melton a GREAT lay.

DM: Hiroshi with a headlock on Troy…SPRINGBOARD BULLDOG! The man’s been a joke his entire career, well, at least we’ve been laughing at him, but Kin’s about to take out the World Champ!

DT: TRIP catches him as he pins, SCORPION DEATHLOCK! He just stepped in and slapped the hold on! Jones didn’t even bother counting one! Troy, out from under the pin, shaking the willies out of her neck! [CUTTO: Melton climbing back in the ring.] Hiroshi shaking his head violently. He’s not giving up. He’s not letting loose of this golden opportunity to win the biggest title of his career!

MN: I wonder…

DT: Geez.

MN: No listen, he framed the first dollar he made selling Muffins. Can you frame the EPW title?

DT: Troy running to Melton as he gets in the ring, and buries a kick right in his gut! [MARK!] Tough love, I guess. Lindsay with A KNIFE EDGE CHOP! Irish Whip into the ropes, DOUBLE CLOTHESLINE! Both ends of the relationship down! [CUTTO: Trip sitting down on the Scorpion, but his eyes lighting up as he sees Troy and Melton on the mat.] STEVENS BREAKS THE HOLD!

DM: Idiot. I thought Hiroshi was close to giving it up!

[CUTTO: Stevens running to the top turnbuckle.]

MN: Were the tears a dead give away?

DT: Trip on the top as the United Center can feel it…..DOUBLE FROGSPLASH! Mercy me! Triple X just dropped the bomb on Melton AND Troy! [MARK!] Pat Jones dives in to make the cover…DOUBLE ELMINATION! ONE….TWO……[CUTTO: Hiroshi diving in an elbow drop to break the pin!] NO!!

MN: Look, we’re all having fun but we have to go home some time tonight!

DM: Why would Hiroshi save Team Troy from being eliminated? Is he afraid of Trip one-on-one?

DT: Hiroshi turns Trip over….he’s on top of Melton and Troy..Hiroshi running to the ropes, JUMPS ON THE MIDDLE ROPE AND SPRINGBOARDS OFF A SENTON BOMB! [MARK!] Kin makes the pin…TRIPLE PIN TO WIN THE WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT TITLE! The cover…

MN: First, 6-6-06 now Kin Hiroshi representing our company. Wow. Just wow.

DT: ONE………………TWO……………………..TH-NO!!!! [MARK!] I don’t know who kicked out. Maybe they all did! [Fans start clapping.] Hiroshi so close to being our champion! He’s got Troy on her feet…and backed into the ropes, hard right hand! She’s really been opened up in his match! Irish whip into the ropes, but Lindsay puts on the breaks and holds on! Hiroshi charges! [CUTTO: Troy takes a quick step towards Kin and LEAPING in the air, executing a Hurricanrana that takes Hiroshi OUT of the ring.] Troy with the move of the night! These fans love it!

DM: She’s giving up pounds in this match, in most matches, but Lindsay Troy has got to be one of the top five aerial tacticians in our sport today.

MN: I’m more of an ass man myself.

DT: Melton and Stevens stagger to the feet, Joey with a uppercut that spins Trip around! Troy sees the opening! She’s loading up that right leg! SUPER-OHHHHHHHH! [SFX: OOPS!] Stevens ducked out of the way…Troy SUPERKICKED Melton! [CUTTO: Joey on the mat, out cold, his nose bleeding profusely.]

MN: Accident, my ass! That’s twice!

[CUTTO: Troy hands over her head in disbelief, dropping to her knees. It’s business, but not like that. She didn’t want it like that.]

DT: Look at Stevens! The grin on his face! He scurries to make the cover….ONE….TWO……..THREE!!!!! [MARK!] Joey Melton is gone! Put out by…I can’t even say it…

DM: The ***** that tamed him.

MN: I’d crawl on glass and bark like a dog for that. Just FYI.

DT: Lindsay Troy. She’s beside herself!

TONY FATORA: Ladies and Gentlemen, Joey Melton has been eliminated from this match by SEAN STEVENS! [Boooo!]

DT: Hiroshi climbing back in the ring! Trip and Troy staring at one another! Frankly, she’s outnumbered, but has been her entire career! [CUTTO: Melton coming to outside the ring, a staffer handing him a towel that he uses to stop the bleeding.]

DM: The question is, will Kin and Sean play ball? Will they work together?

MN: Or do they consider Troy the easier elimination?

DT: She’s the World Champion. We’re down to three, and all of them in opposite corners! [CUTTO: Troy in her corner, looking out of the ring at a beaten Melton who’s helped by her and up the aisle. She apologetically gestures, but Melton has a freak spasm in his middle finger.]

MN: I sense Masturbation Month in the Melton household! For the next four weeks THAT should be a reality show.

DM: Heh.

DT: Lindsay has bigger obstacles in her way right now. She’s survived half the field. It’s down to two more that she has to beat BOTH HIROSHI AND STEVENS CHARGE! Troy rolls out of the way between them! TROY LEAPS, DOUBLE MONKEY FLIP! The World Champion quickly to the middle turnbuckle! DOUBLE CLOTHESLINE! [MARK!] This place is going nuts! Troy to the opposite turnbuckle!

DM: CROSSBODY! But she’s caught! Ha!

MN: They’re going to double team the [censor]! We’ve gone Gonzo on PPV!

DT: DOUBLE BACKBREAKER! And they pick Troy back up! DOUBLE FALLAWAY SLAM! [MARK!] [CUTTO: Hiroshi and Stevens doing the Fresh Prince and Jazzy J handshake.] Hiroshi directing traffic….I know what’s coming.

DM: What do you mean you’ve seen this?

MN: It’s a rerun.

DM: What’s a rerun?

DT: Shut up! Standing leg scissors by Trip! Hiroshi to the top rope! Somehow they managed NOT to break Troy’s neck the first time. There’s no way they won’t here! TROY UP! How is this fair?

MN: It’s not. And?

DT: TROY KICKS OUT! SHE’S DOWN! Trip got careless and Lindsay seized the moment! BACCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCK BODY DROP! [CUTTO: Trip going head over heels, his legs kicking the turnbuckle causing Kin to fall and rack himself over the turnbuckle] [MARK!] Lindsay bought herself more time there! She springs to the middle rope, then climbs to the top turnbuckle where Hiroshi sits!

DM: I think she’s got him!

DT: SUPERPLEX OFF THE TOP! [MARK!] [CUTTO: Trip groggily getting to his feet.] SUPERPLEX! TROY TWO BIG STEPS….SLACK KNIFE! SLACK KNIFE! SLACK KNIFE! [MARK!! MARK!] She just dropped Triple X with Troy Windam’s move!

MN: Still selling him even after he’s gone! That’s selling power!

DT: Jones counts the pin…[MARK!] ONE…………TWO……….

DM: Hiroshi nowhere in sight!

DT: THREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! [MARK!] Lindsay Troy has just eliminated Sean Stevens! [MARK!]

[CUTTO: Troy kicking Trip out of the ring, and falling against the ropes, gassed, bloodied and with the guilt of Melton’s elimination covering her!]

TONY FATORA: Ladies and Gentlemen, “Triple X” Sean Stevens has been eliminated by LINDSAY TROY! [MARK!]

MN: They were supposed to double team her more! Do I have to coach these idiots to greatness?

DT: Look at Troy, she’s spent! Hiroshi as well! [CUTTO: Kin in the opposite corner, doubled over.] They’ve risked it all for the right to walk out of the United Center as WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION and both still have that chance! Both players gingerly walking towards each other… listen to this place!

[FAST PAN OF A DELIRIOUS UNITED CENTER]

DM: This the moment Kin Hiroshi has spent his whole life dreaming of. Well, professionally life anyway, I’ve seen detailed storyboard of his personal dreams and they’re disturbing at best.

MN: Did you see the one with the turtle and hair pin?

DT: After more than twenty-five minutes, Hiroshi and Troy lock up in the center of the ring! Collar-and-elbow tie-up! It’s Hiroshi with control! Troy pushes him across the ring into the ropes, and fires him off….Kin off the ropes, DROPKICK THAT MISSES BY TROY! LEAPING ELBOW DROP BY KIN! NOBODY HOME! [MARK!] [CUTTO: Both players leaping right up to their feet in one move.] [MARK!]

MN: I’m still waiting on Joey Melton to walk back in and be a MAN.

[CUTTO: Tie-up!]

DM: We’re waiting on you to move out of your mother’s house and become a man.

DT: Hiroshi again with control! He screws the lock in tighter! Pin fall or submission. It’ll take either to go home with the Gold. BACK DROP BY TROY! But, Hiroshi hangs on! [CUTTO: Kin’s face. A small cut above his left eye. Sweat POURING off his face. Determination wearing him like a mask.] Troy to her knees…then feet! BACK DROP AGAIN! AND AGAIN KIN HANGS ON!

MN: There’s nowhere to run for Lindsay Troy! No mask to suddenly pull off! I know there’s a lot of men back there that wouldn’t mind, or haven’t minded laying down for her…but Kin Hiroshi…you know, if it takes the “Muffin Man” to restore order, so be it.

DT: Troy again up…BACK-NO! Kin with a short right hand! Kin with ANOTHER! Hiroshi quick standing leg scissors, powers Troy up, LINDSAY SLIPS OUT! INSIDE CRADLE! ONE….TWO….NO! [MARK!] A second away from retaining her title! Hiroshi up and backs Troy into the ropes, FIRES her across the ring, LEAPFROG! Off the ropes, LEAPFROG! OFF THE ROPES…CROSS BODY BY TROY!

DM: Kin out before a pin attempt!

DT: Troy kick to Kin’s gut! SWINGING NECKBREAKER! [MARK!] She considers pinning but goes to the top rope again! [MARK!] It’s hit or miss here! Troy perched, ready….can Kin counter? LINDSAY….OHHHH…SOMERSAULT CORKSCREW LEG DROP! [MARK!] THE COVER! ONE….TWO….THRE-NO!!! NO! Hiroshi BARELY gets up! [MARK!]

MN: That a boy Kin! Like a man! Fight it!

DM: Everyone thought it was over Dave, I did as well. Hiroshi fighting for the moment. His moment.

[CUTTO: Troy calling for and receiving a chair.]

DT: Lindsay staggering around the ring, unsure what to do next….she leaps on the middle rope, Armenian leg drop with the chair, no! Hiroshi moves! He was at Troy’s mercy! The Champ taking a little bit more time than necessary, but who can blame her? She’s battled five men in a half-hour! Both players up….KIN ONE-ARM LEAPING TORNADO DDT! [MARK!]

MN: That’s it! YES!!!

DT: Kin covers, Pat Jones counts……..ONE…[crowd counts too] TWO….TH-NO! Lindsay foot on the bottom rope! [Crowd laughs and high-fives each other.] Hiroshi on his feet, Troy as well….into the corner. Kin, with a left hand! IRISH WHIP OUT OF THE CORNER! And Lindsay hits HARD against the turnbuckle! HIROSHI CHARGING, CROSSBODY INTO THE CORNER! [MARK!] Kin went up and over the ropes, nearly falling out of the ring! But he held on! And now, as Troy is down Kin climbs to the top! [MARK!]

DM: This is the moment! Right here! Whatever Hiroshi has in the bag, he needs to bring it out!

MN: Release us from this cloud that’s hovered over EPW for the last year Hiroshi!

DT: KIN….OFF THE TOP… [MARK!] ASAI MOONSAULT! [CUTTO: Troy moving, AND Kin seeing it in time to land on his FEET!] [MARK!]

MN: YES!

DT: Troy on her feet…she doesn’t know….her back’s turned…Hiroshi ROUNDHOUSE KICK TO THE BACK OF THE NECK! [CUTTO: Troy grabs her neck again and doubles over, but remains on her feet.] I don’t he got all of it!

MN: But it was enough baby!

[CUTTO: Lindsay staggering back slowly into Kin.]

DT: Kin has Troy, spins her around…CANADIAN DESTROYER? [CUTTO: Kin trying to sunset flip Troy, but Lindsay blocks and doesn’t let Kin go over. When Hiroshi lands back on his feet, Troy lands..] A DESERPATION SLACK KNIFE! [MARK! MARK!] LINDSAY FROM OUT OF NOWHERE! She falls on him! ONE…………TWO………THREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!

MN: Nooooooooooooooooooooo!

[CUTTO: The crowd EXPLODING.]

DT: Lindsay’s done it! She’s done it again!

DM: With a brilliant counter move!

DT: Hiroshi had no idea it was coming! [DM: Neither did Troy…]

TONY FATORA: Ladies and Gentlemen the winner of the match, and STILL EPW WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION, ‘THE QUEEN OF THE RING” LINDSAY TROYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!

MN: Oh it figures.



--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

DT: What’s this?? Sean Stevens is back!!! He’s in the ring and he WAFFLES THE HELL OUT OF LINDSAY TROY WITH A CHAIR!! The champ is down!

MN: That’s what I’m talkin’ about!!

DM: Where’s Melton?? There he is!!

DT: Melton in to help…Stevens ducks a right hand and knocks the holy hell out of Joey Melton as well!!! Melton out on the outside and Sean Stevens is laughing his head off looking down at Lindsay Troy!!!

DM: What’s that he just said to her?

DT: I’m getting word he said ‘I told you I’d be the last man standing’. Well, he didn’t get the World Title but he did fulfill his promise. How digusting.

MN: Serves her right.

[Stevens now headed back up the ramp and through the curtain as the crowd starts to chant ‘LIND SAY LIND SAY LIND SAY’. Troy manages to start pulling herself to her feet to a deafening roar.]

MN: I wish all these people would just shut up and stop chanting this girl's name! It's only going to make her big head grow even more!

DT: The crowd on their feet, Lindsay Troy grabs the ropes... SLINGSHOT FLIP TO THE FLOOR AND ON HER FEET! IS THERE ANYTHING SHE CAN'T DO?

DM: I've seen a lot of athletes in my day, but I don't think I can remember any athlete as good as Lindsay Troy!! And after the beating she just took!!

[The crowd starts chanting more... LIND SAY LIND SAY repeatedly. Lindsay slowly pulls herself up on the railing. Then a weird staticy noise erupts in the arena, followed by the unmistakable voice of...]

DT: Who... who is singing?

MN: THAT SOUNDS EXACTLY LIKE MICHAEL BOLTON! YES! IT'S MICHAEL BOLTON! THAT'S WHEN I'M BACK ON MY FEET AGAIN! I START EVERY MIX TAPE WITH THIS SONG! [Awkward pause.]

DM: Uhm... uh...

DT: I will not be touching that one... but look at the stands! Their appear to be some sort of... mimes running around?

[Various female mimes -- dressed exactly as Lindsay Troy, except their faces painted in white. Each mime is holding a dayglo green glow stick, doing various lyrical interpretative dances, many holding ribbons. Gold glitter drops from the cieling as a spotlight goes crazy.]

DT: There appears to be some sort of logistical mix-up. I'm not sure if the Cirque De Soleil is performing here tomorrow night, but this isn't certainly part of our show.

DM: While I certainly never had to deal with this in my career, staying focused is the name of the game. That's what makes champions.

MN: But it's pretty hard to stay focused when female mimes are juggling knives.

DT: Now what's this... there's someone on the roof! It's another mime! This one is masked and... this mime WEARING A TUXEDO is riding a ZIP CHORD DOWN FROM THE CEILING! RIGHT TOWARDS LINDSAY TROY!

DM: I thought these head games were finally coming to an end!

DT: Lindsay Troy is staring up at this... this mime coming down from the cieling, gesturing to this figure! OH NO! SOMEONE JUST GRABBED HER FROM BEHIND! ANOTHER MIME IS ATTACKING LINDSAY TROY!

MN: This is the strangest thing I have ever seen!

DT: Lindsay is fighting this mime off... what's that smell? THAT MIME HAS A RAG TO LINDSAY TROY'S FACE! THAT SMELLS LIKE AN ETHER RAG! LINDSAY TROY IS PASSING OUT! NOW THAT FIGURE IS OFF THE ZIP CHORD! AND... A GIANT MIME JUST HOPPED THE RAILING! AND HE GRABS LINDSAY TROY OVER HIS SHOULDER! NOW THESE THREE MIMES ARE KIDNAPPING LINDSAY TROY!

DM: I just wish we could see a wrestling match now and then...

DT: THEY'RE HIGHTAILING IT TO THE BACK!

[The camera cuts to the back arena. The mime on the zip chord goes to a netted off area that reads MIMES ONLY. He unzips the net and runs in. The smaller mime runs in next, and then the big mime drops Lindsay Troy hard onto the concrete. She is coughing, barely conscious. The camera pans and reveals a homemade altar! The smaller mime is on top of the altar, and is tapping on a microphone.]

DT: And just when you thought it couldn't get more bizarre...

MIME #1: Religion, ladies and gentlemen, is the opiate of the masses! And since you all look like a bunch of HOMELESS STREET JUNKIES... you are going to see the religious ceremony of your lifetime!

MN: I RECOGNIZE THAT VOICE? WHO IS IT?

[The big mime has Lindsay Troy in a full-nelson, propping her up as she is still semi-conscious.]

MIME #1: Do you... Lindsay Troy... the UNPURE WHORE that you are... take your partner, the greatest icon in this sports history, in holy matrimony?

DT: THESE FOLKS ARE MARRYING OFF LINDSAY TROY! WHAT IN GOD'S NAME IS GOING ON?

[The big mime shakes her head up and down yes.]

MIME #1: And do you... the man who is the most profitable wrestler in the history of EVER... take this unchaste disease nest to be your lawfully wedded wife?

MIME #2: I do!

MIME #1: Then by the powers vested in me... A RECENTLY ORDAINED MINISTER IN THE CHURCH OF THE ENTOURAGE --

DT: NOOOOO!

MIME: Pronounce you husband and wife... MISTER AND MISSES TROOOOY WINNNNDHAMMMMM!

[Troy rips off his mime get up and grabs Lindsay Troy by the chin. Troy then lays one on her -- a deep, forceful french kiss. Lindsay, held by the man who is now obviously THE MYSTERIOUS ZOLTAN, wakes up and spits right in Troy's face! Troy laughs and slaps her across the face.]

TROY: I always knew I'd have a wife who would like it rough! Well, Lindsay Troy Windham... I'm going to give it to you just how you like it!

[Zoltan picks Lindsay up in a full-nelson position and drops her right on her back. The Rev. August De La Rossi stands on the altar, poses like Jesus on the cross, and then does a SHOOTING STAR PRESS off of the altar right onto Lindsay.]

TROY: [cackling at the carnage at his feet.] Lindsay, when you discharge yourself from the hospital tomorrow morning, come meet me in my hotel suite... I like my egg whites fluffy, and I like my brides in French maid outfits!

DT V/O: I can’t believe what I just saw!!! Lindsay Troy is now Lindsay….Windham????

DM: We’re outta time, folks….see you on Aggression!! God help us!!

[Fade to copyright info – black.]

 

[DBrunkGXW]

DVD SEGMENTS: Beastlet

[CUT TO: Dan Ryan in front of an EPW backdrop.]

RYAN: This is another series of segments we did back in the day that I really got a kick out of. Marcus had trouble keeping a straight face through some of these and if you look really closely, you can almost see him trying not to crack. This was the closest I got to getting him to break character, but he managed to pull through. It was also part of the whole ‘turn Beast evil’ storyline, so it has a bit of a darker ending. But still, really funny stuff.

[CUT TO: DAN RYAN’S office. A few moments later and his intercom buzzes.]

Ryan: Yes, Phyllis?

Phyllis: Sir, Marcus Westcott is here to see you.

Ryan: [annoyed] Fine, send him in.

[The door swings open and Beast steps in, fully confident, chest out and walks over to Ryan’s desk. Ryan looks up, not even pretending to tolerate the intrusion.]

Ryan: What….do you want?

Beast: I want my World Title shot.

[Ryan bursts to his feet in anger, surprising even Beast]

Ryan: YOU WANT YOUR….

[Ryan calms himself and sits back down, adjusting his collar.]

Ryan: You want your title shot, huh?

[Beast smirks]

Beast: Yeah, that’s what I want.

Ryan: You know what, no….no, **** it. You have five minutes to get to the ring.

Beast: [Taken aback] Excuse me?

[Ryan stands, intense and stares a hole in the former World Champion]

Ryan: The ring….five minutes.

[Ryan crosses around Beast and storms out of the office as in the arena the crowd cheers this development. Beast stares after Ryan as the shot cuts back to ringside.]

DT: An interesting development folks as the boss doesn’t look one bit happy.

MN: Jimmy Chitwood won’t like this either.

DM: Mike for the last time, Jimmy Chitwood isn’t….

[The broadcast crew is interrupted by the deafening roar that comes as “Zero” by Smashing Pumpkins blares over the arena speakers.]

DT: And the boss is coming to the ring!!

[Ryan stalks to the ring and slides in underneath. He paces the ring in a circle and calls for a microphone.]

Ryan: Tick tock, tick tock Beastie….you have two minutes….NO….make that ten seconds…..

[The crowd starts to count down in unison – TEN…..NINE…..EIGHT….SEVEN…..SIX ….FIVE….FOUR….THREE…..TWO…..

And then, “Figured You Out” by Nickelback comes over the speakers as Beast steps out onto the stage – gives his fans a look and a nod and then starts his way to the ring. Beast looks at Ryan the whole way, but takes a few moments to slap a few hands – including a child nearby that has a “Beast of the East” t-shirt on. A few moments later the big man climbs into the ring and starts to walk toward Dan Ryan, who raises a hand and stops him]

Ryan: Hold on just a second. I’ve got a little something for you, Marcus. I’m sorry to say that you will not be getting your World Title shot any time soon.

[Beast frowns as the crowd boos.]

Ryan: Last week, you let yourself be embarrassed….HUMILIATED…by Adam Benjamin. Tell me, Marcus – how come I left the arena last week….[Ryan raises his voice and gets right in Beast’s face]….THINKING ADAM ****ING BENJAMIN HAD MORE BALLS THAN YOU DO?!?!

[The crowd boos again as the Beast seethes.]

Ryan: No, you don’t get a World Title shot Marcus. But yeah…you do have a match tonight. You do have a job to do. In fact…you’re gonna open the show….you’re gonna JERK THE ****ING CURTAIN.

[LOUD boos.]

Ryan: Tonight you face….in front of this live audience, the type of opponent that you will face from now until the end of your Empire Pro contract. You will face the first in a long line of the very finest…..MIDGET WRESTLERS IN THE WORLD.

[Beast’s eyes go big as Ryan still glares at him, eyes furious]

Ryan: Tonight you make the debut of your new midget wrestling career against……BEAST-LET!!!

[Suddenly some generic rock music comes up and a diminutive man comes out on the stage, dressed just like Beast except for a short puffy tail coming out of the back of his trunks and a small bag over his shoulder. As he comes down the ramp he looks into the crowd and yells “raahrr!!” “rahrrrrr!!”]

[Cut to a shot of Beast’s face, where he stands in disbelief and we can make out the words “No way, no ****ing way”]

Ryan: Good luck, Beast. It’s too bad. You coulda been a contenda….

[Ryan spikes the microphone as Beast-let climbs in playing to the crowd and holding out his “claws” toward Beast in threatening fashion.]

MN: OH MY GOD!! THAT IS CLASSIC!!! WHAT A GREAT IMPRESSION!!

DT: Are you kidding me?? He’s nothing like Beast!! Boy, I feel for this guy….

[Ryan gets to the floor and stands near the corner, hands folded over his chest. Beast for his part, simply stands in the ring dumbfounded.]

DT: This….this Beast-let guy is stalking the much much bigger Beast here….this is ridiculous…is Dan Ryan really expecting Beast to wrestle a match here??

DM: This is pure and utter humiliation, Dave…nothing more, nothing less.

DT: Beast-let now running the ropes and Beast is just standing there incredulous….Beast-let diving and….headbutt to the knee??

MN: What the hell??

DT: Beast-let grabbing his head and he’s….he’s going to that bag of his….what the heck is this….he’s….he’s pulling a….a steak from his bag???

DM: A stake?

DT: No, Dean-o….it’s a steak…a freakin’ prime rib!!

MN: Chitwood likes steak.

DT: And now he’s….he’s THROWING STEAKS AT BEAST!!!

[Beast-let throws several steaks at the big man as the crowd laughs along. Beast looks at the crowd and frowns, then looks back, visibly annoyed.]

DT: Beast getting very aggravated here….Beast-let back to the bag, pulling some sort of sign or something out…..OH MY GOD….

[A LOUD collective “OHHHH!” from the crowd as Beast-let holds a sign up with a doctored photo of Beast bent over in a maid’s dress and Adam Benjamin behind him in orgasmic glee.]

MN: Damn….even I can’t laugh at that one. Ouch.

[Beast looks at the picture as Beast-let hops around the ring showing it off to the crowd, who all laugh along. Suddenly Beast charges Beast-let and stomps him to the mat. Beast overpowers the small man very easily and pummels him in the corner.]

DT: And Beast has had enough!!

[Beast picks up Beast-let in one fell swoop and twists him over his head and spikes him down on his neck. Beast-let lies in the ring, twitching.]

DM: My God, he may have killed him!! What is Marcus Westcott thinking?? The man’s eighty pounds at most!!

[Beast slides out of the ring and goes to the Spanish announce table, clearing it with a swipe of his hand. He glares at Ryan and slides back into the ring, pulling Beast-let to his feet and hoisting him over his shoulder. Beast goes to the corner….]

DT: My God, what is he doing here?? Don’t do it, Beast!! NO!!!

[Beast gets to the tope and dives – shoulder first with Beast-let through the table and to the concrete below. Beast-let writhes on the concrete, his eyes going back in his head.]

DT: This is too much, dammit!! Too much!! Get someone out here!!

[Beast snatches up a chair and begins to drive it into the prone body of Beast-let. Beast lets up for a moment and looks down at the small man – and Beast-let uses his last energy to grab his little Beast-let tail and wave it in surrender, which further angers Beast, who drives the chair back down again and again and again.]

DM: He’s snapped!! He’s absolutely snapped!!!

DT: Medical personnel are FINALLY coming out here…it’s about damn time!!

[Beast stares down at Beast-let, eyes wide and chest heaving. He shoots a glare at Dan Ryan. “I guess I showed him”….except Dan Ryan was smiling….broadly.]

DM: And Dan Ryan is happy!!

MN: Of course he’s happy!! This is what he wanted all along!!

[Beast stares at Ryan, then turns back to Beast-let as the medics tend to him. Finally he just backs away, eyes still flashing and out of control….and walks back up the ramp, while a sound he wasn’t used to blared in his ears…..boos.]

DT: These people are letting Beast hear it, and rightfully so!! He had no reason to brutalize that poor man like that!!

[The camera catches a shot of Dan Ryan, a wide Cheshire cat grin on his face as we fade to a commercial for Empire Pro's Russian Roulette, now on DVD.]

 

[DBrunkGXW]

James Irish [c] vs. Shawn Hart vs. Cameron Cruise vs. Fusenshoff – Black Dawn 2008

[CUT TO: Dan Ryan, sitting in front an EPW backdrop.]

RYAN: James Irish is one of my favorite guys from my wrestling days. He’s just a class act all the way and a real throwback with the way he handled his business. This was his last match in EPW, defending the TV Title against three guys who are still going strong today and became really big parts of the roster. But Irish was the story here. This was a great match for him, he showed what he can do in the ring, and it was a fabulous send off as he moved on to other obligations.

[“A Little Less Conversation” by Elvis Presley hits the PA. To a moderately mixed reaction from the audience, FUSENSHOFF appears from the entrance and makes his way to the ring.]

TF: Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is a FOUR CORNERS MATCH for the EPW TELEVISION TITLE!! Introducing first… from Kamloops, British Columbia…

MN: Hee hee, “Kamloops”…

TF: …weighing in at 263 pounds… HERE IS… FUUUUSSSEEEENNNSSSHOOOFFF!!!

DT: Well ladies and gentlemen, this monumental evening continues as we move into the TELEVISION TITLE contest of the evening featuring FOUR very determined superstars! Coming to the ring now is a man who has only been with Empire Pro for a short time, but has already proven himself as a DOMINANT force in the ring!

MN: That’s probably why his finisher’s called “The Domination.” Still, I just call him the guy that ALMOST BEAT the Boss.

DT: Regardless, Fusenshoff comes into this match with a LOT of momentum after a win over the following entrant…

[“Watching The Wheels” by John Lennon hits the PA, and SHAWN HART appears on the stage, posing for the fans as FELICIA steps out to join him. Together, they come down the ramp to the ring.]

TF: Introducing next… accompanied to the ring by his sister, Felicia Hart… hailing from Orlando, Florida and weighing in at 266 pounds… HERE IS “THE PHENOM” SHAAAAAAWWWNN JESSICA HAAAART, PEE-ACHE-DEE!!

DM: A dynamic entrance for the FORMER TV champ, who has been on a losing streak as of late.

MN: BAH!! He’s too AWESOME to considered having lost a match. That’s why he still qualifies to be in this championship match, even if his record hasn’t been up to par lately.

DT: Regardless of what his record’s been like, we’re seeing a very determined Shawn Hart come to the ring in this match. He seems to be full of life and energy, ready to take on this competition from the forefront and bring that title BACK around his waist!

[As Shawn Hart gets to the ring, “Headstrong” by Trapt hits the PA. To a big POP from the fans, CAMERON CRUISE makes his appearance with his wife MERCEDES, and he slaps hands with the fans as he comes to the ring.]

TF: Coming next to the ring… accompanied by his wife and manager, MERCEDES CRUISE… hailing from Jacksonville, North Carolina, and weighing in at 249 pounds… PLEASE WELCOME… CCAAAAAMMEEERROOOOONNN CCRRRUUUUIIISSSEE!!!

DT: The always dedicated CAMERON CRUISE makes his way to the ring next, vying for his chance to reclaim his former glory in the singles division of Empire Pro!

MN: Give me a break, Dave. This guy’s NOTHING with Melton carrying him through every match!!

DM: Cameron Cruise can be MAIN EVENT material when he wants to be. And tonight… he looks like he REALLY wants it!

[As the third competitor reaches the ring, “I’ll Drink To You” by Duke Jupiter hits the PA, and the crowd POPS to their feet screaming!! Erin Flanaghan is the first to appear on stage, posing for the audience before stepping to the side and making way for the TV champion JAMES IRISH, who comes out to a TREMENDOUS ovation and a display of pyrotechnics as he holds the EPW TV Title high into the air!]

TF: And finally… accompanied to the ring by his manager, ERIN FLANAGHAN… fighting out of Fredonia, New York… he weighs in at 245 pounds… he is the EMPIRE PRO TELEVISION CHAMPION… Here is…

JAAAAAAMMEEESSSS IIIIRRSIIIIISSSHHH!!

DT: Coming to the ring now is the MAN that unseated Shawn Hart at Russian Roulette! After tonight, his contract expires, which would make THIS MATCH his LAST in an Empire Pro ring!

MN: Good riddance! That A1E-lovin’ MORON can go back home with the other jobbers!

DM: Despite his alliance with Beast and the other A1E loyal, James Irish still gets a warm ovation from the fans, because love him or hate him, he KNOWS how to entertain!

MN: He’s an ass-clown… end of story.

DT: Will he suffer his demise tonight? Or will he leave Empire Pro a CHAMPION?!

[Irish leaves Erin on the outside as he enters the ring and hands the title off to the ref, who holds it up for the audience to see before handing it off to the time-keeper. Quickly, he makes his final checks, and when everything is in order, signals for the bell.]

SFX: *DING! DING!*

DT: The bell has sounded… and now the champion James Irish finds himself staring down three opponents, all of whom focused on him! Precarious position for Irish who now finds himself cornered!

DM: The man with the belt is always bound to have the larger target on his back… and Irish knows that all too well NOW, as all three men spring upon him and put the champion on the mat with a relentless barrage of fists coming in from three sides!!

MN: Great start for this punk. I guess that’s what he gets for pissing off the boss…

DT: Let’s not go there, Mike… Irish seated in the corner while all three men viciously stomp away at his chest… and Cruise and Hart, forming a quick unlikely alliance, turn on FUSENSHOFF, hitting him with a DOUBLE CHOP across the chest and leaving him reeling against the ropes! Here comes Fusenshoff for some payback… walking straight into a SCOOP SLAM from the former Tag Team Champion. Cruise is looking for an early lead.

DM: This team of Cruise and Hart have good control of the match so far… Cruise tapping Hart on the shoulder and pointing to Irish, coming to his feet in the corner, and now they have something in mind! Hart goes to the opposite corner and Cruise takes him by the arm… here’s the Irish Whip to the corner where James Irish just now gets to his feet—and the TV Champion DIVES out of the way as Hart connects with the turnbuckle!

DT: Here comes Cruise charging after the champ… NO!! Take down by a TACKLE from Fusenshoff as he gets to his feet… ‘Hoff gets the mount and begins LAYING into the face of Cameron Cruise, while a bruised James Irish takes the opportunity to get some vengeance on Hart while he lies in the corner!

DM: The action in the ring is splitting up, and with that, the referee has an even harder time keeping tabs on all four men. Look now as he tells Irish to get Hart out of the corner, clearly missing Cameron Cruise’s hand on the bottom rope on the other side of the ring while Fusenshoff still wails away on top of him.

MN: If you hate it so much, Dean, why don’t YOU go in there and do the job?

DM: Hey, I don’t call matches… I just criticize them.

DT: Back to the action… Irish brings Hart out of the ring and puts him on the mat with a side headlock takedown, keeping that arm wrapped around the head of the former Television Champion. Meanwhile, the referee finally intervenes on Fusenshoff and Cameron Cruise, causing Fuse to come to his feet and bring Cruise with him. Fusenshoff with a DDT!! Floats over for the pin…

One!

Two!

And a kickout by Cameron Cruise! Meanwhile, Irish released Hart from that headlock when he saw the cover being made. Remember, this match will be decided on the FIRST FALL. Irish can still lose his title and not even be pinned.

DM: Hart slips to the outside while Irish leaves him to nab Fusenshoff from behind… goes for a hammerlock—but ‘Hoff quickly reverses it! Fusenshoff, now, wrenches the arm of the Television Champion… but Irish bites back with an ELBOW to Fusenshoff’s face! There’s ANOTHER elbow… but Fusenshoff doesn’t let go of that arm!

DT: Cameron Cruise is coming back to his feet and sees Irish standing defenseless in front of him! Irish with a THIRD elbow… and FINALLY breaks free of Fusenshoff as Cameron Cruise comes in with a Standing Side Kick that nails HOFF right in the jaw!

MN: OOOooooohhh… well, at least he’s used to having pounding headaches…

DT: You’re no stranger either, I’m sure.

DM: Keep your eye on the ever-sneaky Shawn Hart as he slips around the ring, completely under the radar. Now, with Fusenshoff briefly stunned on the mat, its James Irish and Cameron Cruise in a collar-and-elbow tie-up in the middle of the ring. Cruise, with that penchant technical skill of his, slaps on a standing armbar!

MN: His work with Joey Melton has taken his level of talent to an entirely different level. It’s astonishing.

DM: Jeez, more Melton praise…

DT: Wait a second… Shawn Jessica Hart rolling back into the ring in the blind spot of Fusenshoff as he gets to his feet. Here comes Hart… with a BULLDOG on the unsuspecting Fusenshoff! And as quick as he came, Shawn Hart slips back to the outside!

DM: Guerrilla Warfare. Not a common tactic in this sport, but quite an effective one!

MN: STOP!! Guerrilla Radio! TURN THAT **** UP!!

DM: Shut up, Neely.

DT: The duo of Cruise and Hart continue to work well together, albeit separately. Back on the other side of the ring, as Cameron Cruise continues to work the arm and shoulder of the TV Champion James Irish, now switching over to an Arm Wrench! No wait… Cruise crossing Irish’s arm across the face—transitions BEAUTIFULLY into an innovated Russian Legsweep!

DM: Slick move on the part of Cameron Cruise, who hooks both legs for the pin!

DT: One!

…NO!! A two-count is DENIED as Shawn Hart promptly takes James Irish by the arm and drags him out of the ring!

MN: That Shawn Hart is equally slick, Dean-O.

DT: Hart has Irish where he wants him on the outside… Cruise, looking a little agitated in having his pin broken up, looks to see what the deal is—but he gets stopped with a FOREARM to the back from Fusenshoff!

DM: And while ‘Hoff continues to brawl with Cruise, Shawn Hart, outside the ring, kicks the TV Champion in the chest while he’s down! Now he gets to him to his feet… looking to those steel steps! Here’s Hart with the WHIP—

DT: And it’s REVERSED by Irish, and Hart COLLIDES WITH THE STEEL STEPS!! OH MAN, that looked painful! The champ has been having a tough night thus far, but with that move, he shows that he can still hang in there with these three determined challengers!

DM: Back in the ring as ‘Hoff DROPS Cameron Cruise with a snapmare, and goes for a headlock… and here’s Cruise trying to get to his feet… but Fusenshoff DROPS HIM with a Side-Headlock Takedown before he can do anything! Great control of the ring!

DT: And showing great control of the outside is the Television Champion JAMES IRISH, who takes Shawn Hart by the head and BLASTS his face across the apron! Irish rising to the apron now… as Fuse brings Cameron Cruise back to his feet and whips him TO THE ROPES—and Irish YANKS DOWN on the top rope before they collide, sending Cruise SPRAWLING OVER THE ROPES and RIGHT ON TOP OF the prone body of Shawn Hart!

MN: Now switch your partner, dos-ee-do!

DT: Quick thinking on the part of the champion… who catches Fusenshoff with a SHOULDER THRUST before the EPW up-and-comer could attack him on the apron! ‘Hoff doubles over… and now Irish takes him by that long black hair… walks him to the TURNBUCKLE, and now he’s going upstairs! What is going on in the head of James Irish?!

MN: Probably… “Why do people always get me confused with Irish Red??”

DM: I highly doubt that’s it, but whatever he’s thinking, it can’t be good for Fusenshoff! Here comes Irish off the TOP ROPE—RIGHT INTO A TORNADO DDT that just threw Fusenshoff through Corkscrew Hell!!

DT: INCREDIBLE MOVE from the champion, who comes back from a rocky start to DOMINATE the DOMINATOR!! Irish hooks the leg for a cover…

ONE!

TWO!

And Fusenshoff kicks out!!

DM: But the TV Champion keeps control, slapping on a Front-Facelock onto the challenger Fusenshoff! Back outside the ring, Cruise and Hart are finally getting to their feet… and go right into trading blows! So much for the ALLIANCE!! Here’s Cruise switching from jabs to chops, reddening up the chest of Shawn Hart as he lays him against the apron and turns his torso into HAMBURGER!!

MN: Now they’ll call him… El Hombre TENDERIZO!!

DT: Here’s James Irish with Fusenshoff, looking for a DDT—but Fuse says he’s had ENOUGH of getting dropped on his head, and sweeps the leg for a TAKEDOWN, putting James Irish onto his back and right in LINE for a series of heavy fists to the face from the brawler!!

DM: And while the fists fly in the ring, bodies collide on the outside, as Cameron Cruise drives his SHOULDER into the ribs of Shawn Hart while his back leans against the edge of the ring! What a SICKENING collision, and Hart just goes right to the floor, holding his sides as I’m sure every part of his upper body is just ACHING in pain right now!

DT: Cruise looking pumped after winning that exchange… here he comes back into the ring as Fusenshoff brings James Irish to his feet, putting him up for a SCOOP SLAM—NO!! IRISH drops down to his feet, and tucks ‘Hoff’s head right in position for a REVERSE DDT—!!

DM: NO WAIT!! Here comes Cruise up behind Irish, and tucks HIS head under his arm… and Cruise with the REVERSE DDT AS IRISH HITS ONE OF HIS OWN ON FUSENSHOFF!!

Crowd: “THAT-WAS-AWE-SOME!! *CLAP! CLAP! CLAP-CLAP-CLAP!*”

DT: WOW!! AMAZING double-play on the part of Cameron Cruise, who goes onto IRISH for the pin!

ONE!!

TWO!!

NO!! A kickout by James Irish, who proves his resilience!

MN: Yeah, you have no idea how “resilient” this guy can be. I’ve seen him go through some serious **** in A1E…

DM: You’re saying he can take a licking and keep on ticking?

MN: Well, sure… but he still sucks. SCREW YOU, IRISH!! EMPIRE PRO FOR-EV-UHHHH!!

DM: Sit down, Neels…

DT: Cruise back up… turning his attention away from the rising James Irish to check on the status of Shawn Hart. Cruise at the ropes—and Hart, as if he were WAITING for him, just hops up to the apron and CLOCKS HIM right across the jaw!!

DM: Cruise is gonna feel that one for a week… and as he stumbles away from Hart, walks right into an STO FROM JAMES IRISH!!

MN: Gonna feel THAT one for a MONTH…

DT: Meanwhile, Fusenshoff, finally getting to his feet… but Shawn Hart might have something to say about that as he runs to the nearest corner and begins to climb! Fusenshoff almost up… and turns around just as Hart comes off the top with a MISSILE DROPKICK that catches the unsuspecting brawler right in the CHEST and LAUNCHES HIM across the ring!!

DM: BAM… took that like a bullet to the chest! Man, it’s simply MIND-BLOWING how incredibly fast-paced this match has been!

DT: That’s what happens when you put four men in the ring and all of them want the same title.

MN: Ooh… Television Champion… big whoop.

DT: It may not mean much to YOU, Mike, but I think the lengths all four of these men are going to in order to achieve victory really shows you the PRESTIGE that surrounds this title! Fusenshoff is lying in one corner, looking in bad shape after taking that DEVASTATING dropkick from Hart. Meanwhile, “The Phenom” and James Irish find themselves as the only two standing men in the ring!

DM: Irish bounds forward—but Hart sees him coming, easily sidesteps and lifts him up with a TILT-A-WHILR—STRAIGHT INTO A TOMBSTONE PILEDRIVER!!

DT: Here’s Shawn Hart with the cover…

ONE!!

TWO!!

NO!! Broken up by Cameron Cruise, who GRABS Shawn Hart around the waist and YANKS him back to his feet!!

MN: Fight it, Shawn!! He’s trying to ASS RAPE YOU!!

DM: Ugh… are you ALWAYS thinking that when you’re watching this?

MN: You AREN’T?!

DT: Hart breaking free—and BLASTS CAMERON CRUISE WITH A HART ATTACK that just comes OUT OF NOWHERE!!

DM: OH MAN!! El Hombre Magnifico just WENT FOR IT, and it paid off!! Here’s James Irish, rubbing his cranium as he gets to his feet… and Shawn Hart NAILS HIM WITH A HART ATTACK, TOO!! “The Phenom” is on FIRE!!

MN: Damn right, he is…

DT: Hart and Fusenshoff are OUT of the picture… and here goes Shawn Hart with the COVER over the CHAMPION!!

ONE!!

TWO!!

THREE—OH, NO NO NO!! IRISH KICKED OUT!!

MN: DAMN!! You see what I mean? He’s like a cockroach. We need to get that A1E scum OUT OF HERE…

DM: Shawn Hart TRIED to put him away, but James Irish just REFUSES to go down without a fight!

DT: Hart, however, perseveres, not losing sight of his goal! Now he brings James Irish up for a SECOND Hart Attack—but Irish SHOVES HIM OFF—and RIGHT into the arms of a rising FUSENSHOFF, who just BLASTS the former Television Champion with a BELLY-TO-BELLY SUPLEX!!

MN: NOOOO!!

DM: An untimely turn of events for Shawn Hart, who was nearly tossed to the OUTSIDE from the force of that move! A steaming Fusenshoff is back on his feet and bearing down now on the still groggy James Irish, reeling after that Diamond Cutter he took only a minute ago!! Irish looking for a CLOTHESLINE—but ‘Hoff just BATS his arm out of the air, and LAUNCHES HIM with an EXPLODER SUPLEX!!

DT: Fusenshoff is just DESTROYING everything he sees in that ring! Hooks the leg for a pin on the champion…

ONE!!

TWO!!

THREE—OH NO, IRISH just BARELY kicks out!!

DM: He won’t last much longer with the way Fusenshoff is manhandling him.

MN: Remember… COCKROACH.

DM: Fusenshoff yanking James Irish back to his feet now… here’s the standing head-scissor… lifts him up to his SHOULDERS… AND JUST OBLIVIATES JAMES IRISH WITH THE DOMINATION!!!

DT: Oh man, he SHOOK THE RING as he just SLAMMED James Irish’s head into the ring like EM-JAY dunking a BASKETBALL!! Fusenshoff is on the VERGE OF BECOMING THE TELEVISION CHAMPION, as he goes for the PIN…

ONE!!





TWO!!!





THREE—!!

DM: CRUISE BREAKS IT UP!! Oh man, he was a QUARTER OF A SECOND AWAY from winning this match!! Cruise just came in with that elbow across the back of Fushenshoff, and it was all he needed to keep this match going!

DT: The champion does NOT have to be pinned to walk away with this title, but for whatever reason, every man in that ring is giving in their all to pin the CHAMPION!!

MN: Waste of time! Somebody pin Cruise already! He’s the weaker link. Believe me, that’s why Melton isn’t the tag team champion anymore!

DT: …uh, Mike, wasn’t it MELTON that dropped the ball on the CCP??

MN: BLASPHEMY!!

DT: Whatever… back to the action in the ring, as Cameron Cruise pounds away on Fusehnshoff! Perhaps not a good idea to go toe to toe with a brawler who was just moments away from winning… and here’s FUSE fighting back!! There’s a couple SHOTS to the face of Cameron Cruise to leave him reeling!!

DM: Meanwhile, while these two go at it like Rocky and Apollo, we can see SHAWN HART finally managing to get to his feet in the corner! The champion remains OUT OF IT as he flops over onto his side and appears to COUGH UP BLOOD!!

DT: Irish is sacrificing SO MUCH in the ring tonight to keep his title! I may not agree what he’s fighting for, but I’ll be DAMNED if I don’t give him credit for being a tough son of a *****!! Back to the action as Cruise BALKS at an open-handed slap to the face from Fusenshoff… and comes back with a DROPKICK to the face of Fuse, that spins him around into Shawn Hart…

DM: And Hart BLASTS HIM in the face with a SUPERKICK that spins ‘Hoff right back into Cruise—

DT: And Cruise with the REALITY CHECK ON FUSE!!! Fuse just got BOUNCED AROUND in that ring like PINBALL, and suffered a REALITY CHECK that he JUST… DOESN’T… LIKE!!

MN: Oh hardy har, Dave. You should be giving “The Phenom” credit for setting that up like a MASTER…

DT: Here’s Cruise with the pin—but wait, over on the other side of the ring, James Irish hops to his feet and catches Shawn Hart with a ROLL-UP FROM BEHIND!! And the referee goes to IRISH!!

ONE!!

TWO!!

NO!! A kickout from Shawn Hart, and Cameron Cruise is INFURIATED that the referee didn’t go to him for what very well could have been a definite THREE COUNT for the win and the TV Title!!

DM: Meanwhile, Shawn Hart tears up to his feet and yanks James Irish up with him! Hart just DUMPS Irish into the corner and boots him HARD in the mid-section! Here comes Cruise to his feet as “The Phenom” turns to face him… and Cruise, BURSTING to his feet, just BLASTS Shawn Hart in the face with a running KNEE LIFT!!

DT: Hart stumbling back… into the arms of the waiting JAMES IRISH!! The Television Champion lifts him up… brings him down with the AIR CHECK!! OH MAN, WHAT AN OSAKA STREET CUTTER THAT WAS!! “The Phenom” was nearly GUILLOTINED across the champion’s shoulder, who just EXPLODED to life at the last possible moment!!

MN: LA CUCA RACHAAAA~~~!!!!!!

DM: TREMENDOUS comeback from James Irish, who falls across Shawn Hart for the victory!!

DT: HERE WE GO…





ONE!!






TWO!!





NO!! Irish gets DRAGGED OFF by Cameron Cruise, who immediately tries to set him up into the CRUISE CONTROL—!!

But Irish MUSCLES out of it before he can sink it in!! Both men wrestling for control… and Irish NAILS Cruise with a blatant HEADBUTT that leaves the former Tag Team Champion reeling!

DM: Wrestling to their feet now as they struggle to lock each other into a front facelock… and Irish taking Cruise by the waist… lifting him up for an IMPLANT DDT—NO!! Cruise FIGHTS it and drops to his feet… and now CRUISE looking for his OWN IMPLANT DDT—and IRISH forces him back down!!

DT: A see-saw battle happening in the ring as both men vie to DDT the other into the mat!! Cruise, again, lifting up the champion for the IMPLANT DDT—

But IRISH drops to his feet… and now it’s the champ with a KNEE to the gut of Cameron Cruise! And a SECOND!! And Irish LIFTS HIM UP—and NAAAAILLLSS the DEE-DEE-TEE!!

DM: Cameron Cruise’s brains just shot into his feet!

MN: More like OUT HIS ASS!! MAN, I can’t believe Irish is going to WIN THIS!!

DT: James Irish rallying the CROWD behind him… and now he goes to the TURNBUCKLE!! Both Shawn Hart and Fusenshoff still lie dormant on the mat, and Cameron Cruise is LAID OUT in the middle of the ring!!

DM: Irish looking to FINISH this match! He’s going for the FUNK FORTY-NINE!!

DT: Here’s IRISH, looking for the WIN as he DIVES OFF THE TOP ROPE…

…NOOO!!!! CRUISE ROLLS TO THE SIDE!!

MN: HAHAHAHAHAHA!! OH MAN, THAT WAS AWESOME!!

DT: The Television Champion, JAMES IRISH, just suffered a HORRIBLE crash in the center of the ring as a result of an awkward landing from that Funk #49, thanks to the desperate act of Cameron Cruise!

DM: And now CRUISE is looking to capitalize, especially with the competition out of the picture!! Cruise pulling himself over to the prone body of Irish, and locking in the STF… he goes FOR IT!! HE’S GOT IT!! CRUISE CONTROL on JAMES IRISH in the center of the ring!!

DT: OH MAN, THIS COULD BE IT!! Cruise with that patented finisher locked in, and Irish has NOWHERE TO GO!! He HAS to top… but he’s FIGHTING IT!!

MN: Dang, doesn’t he ever GIVE UP?!

DM: Apparently not, Mike! Irish, DESPERATELY trying to get to the ropes, but Cameron Cruise keeps him pinned down! There’s nothing Irish can do! Cruise has him out-wrestled and is much stronger! Yet James Irish REFUSES to tap!!

MN: He’ll have to pass out eventually! I don’t care, I just want to see him LOSE!!

DT: Irish is still holding out, and time is passing away. Cruise needs to get him to tap NOW, because Shawn Hart is beginning to recover! Fusenshoff, standing once again in the corner, perhaps too tired to even MOVE at this point!!

DM: Wait a minute, Irish is REACHING OUT!! Is he going to TAP!?

…

…NO!! BROKEN UP BY SHAWN HART, who DIVES ONTO CAMERON CRUISE just as it seemed James Irish would slap the mat!!

DT: Cruise trying to keep the hold locked in anyway… but now he’s being MANHANDLED BY Shawn Hart!! “The Phenom” YANKING Cruise off the Television Champion!!

DM: Hart has him around the waist… and Cruise is FIGHTING HIM!! Hart lifting him up for a GERMAN SUPLEX, but he can’t get him over!! Now Hart RUNNING BACK as he loses control of Cruise—and up against the ropes, and—HERE COMES FUSENSHOFF—

DT: And FUSE JUST DUMPS THEM OVER to the outside!! I thought he was OUT OF IT, but it seems he’s been playing POSSUM this entire time, waiting for his opportunity to strike!!

DM: ‘Hoff is alone in the ring with the champion, as Irish, looking in all worlds of hurt, comes to his feet… and is met with a BOOT TO THE GUT—

WHIIIISKEY BAAAWWWMBB!!!

DT: FUSENSHOFF JUST NAILED JAMES IRISH INTO THE MAT, HEAD-FIRST!! Shawn Hart and Cameron Cruise are just now stumbling to their feet on the outside… and they look inside as Fusenshoff goes for the PIN!!

ONE!!!

DM: Hart and Cruise FIGHTING EACH OTHER to get into that ring!!

DT: TWO!!

DM: Hart ALMOST THERE…

DT: THREE!!! IT’S OVER!!

[Shawn Hart, inches away from Fusenshoff’s heel, is DRAGGED AWAY at the last moment by Cameron Cruise as the final count is made, and the bell CLANGS through the air! The crowd ERUPTS WITH CHEERS as “A Little Less Conversation” by Elvis Presley comes in over the PA and the referee raises the arm of the rising FUSENSHOFF!!]

TF: Ladies and gentlemen, here is your winner…

…and NEW EMPIRE PRO TELEVISION CHAMPION…


FUUUUUSSSSEEEEENNNSSSHOOOOFFFFFF!!!!

[The fans EXPLODE, chanting his name as the referee hands him the EPW TV Title and he holds it HIGH into the air!! Outside the ring, Cameron Cruise and Shawn Hart remain stunned in defeat… while James Irish lies unmoving on the mat.]

DT: What a TREMENDOUS VICTORY for Fusenshoff, who, in such a short time, has DOMINATED the ranks of Empire Pro and capitalized his dynamic coming with a BIG WIN and the TV Title around his waist!

DM: All four men put on one HELL of an effort in this match… but in the end, it was FUSENSHOFF who seized the opportunity to win when the advantage presented itself!!

MN: Hey, I’m just glad that belt’s off IRISH! We don’t need that A1E scum tarnishing our federation anymore. Kinda wish Cruise or Hart had picked it up, though…

DT: A dismal end for James Irish in his LAST Empire Pro match… but you have to hand one thing to him, he fought to the BITTER END, surviving a Hart Attack, the Domination, AND the Cruise Control before finally biting the bullet! Despite his alliances, I’m sure many here at Empire Pro will miss him.

MN: NO WE WON’T!! Jeez, are you guys MENTAL?!

 

[DBrunkGXW]

Cameron Cruise [c] vs. First – Wrestleverse III - Intercontinental Title Match

[CUT TO: First, sitting in front of an EPW backdrop.]

FIRST: Man do I win any matches on this DVD collection? [Laughs] This to me, was the height of the Cruise led Anthology...I mean me and him have a great match, Wrestleverse is the biggest event in the company and we tried to steal the show as best we could. Copycat comes in, takes the spotlight, puts EPW on notice...And unwittingly gives me an idea...It's about as important a match in my career as there is.

DT: It’s time for the Intercontinental Title match, ladies and gentlemen!

DM: This is bound to be a GREAT match, Dave. We’ve got TWO former prolific tag team champions involved in this contest. They’ve both been rising through the ranks over the past couple of months! The First has had some memorable competitions against even our own World Champion, and Cameron Cruise has solidified himself as a powerful IC champion!

DT: The two of them have been vying to break the glass ceiling and move on to the MAIN EVENT, but THIS is the moment where their paths cross! A winner must move on, and the loser… must wait for his opportunity to come again!

[MUSIC UP: "Orinoco Flow [Sail Away]" by Enya. The music goes on for a few moments before the woman from The First's last promo, still in her flowing white dress, begins dancing on the rampway, in her right hand is a stick that has the tip lit in fire, such as the sticks fire eaters use. A spotlight shines down upon her as she continues her dance.]

MN: What's this broad doing? This isn't a dance contest.

DM: I think she's supposed to represent Destiny.

[The woman now dances to a spot on the ramp and touches down the burning stick on the ramp, suddenly a circle of flame spreads across the spot...The woman then dances her way backstage, smiling warmly as she goes back behind the curtain, the spotlight shines on the ring of fire burning on the ramp. The music fades out.]

[MUSIC UP: "Happy Birthday" by The Birthday Massacre, EPW Edit. After the music hits a beat or two passes before The First rises up through the ring of fire, Gangrel style. The First is rocking The Crow outfit, long black leather jacket, black tight shirt, the 'mime from hell' facepaint, on his right shoulder a crow is perched. The crowd pops HUGE as The First stands in the spotlight and then walks through the fire, making his way to the ring.]

MN: HAPPY HALLOWEEN, guys!

DM: It’s not October, Neels…

MN: Tell that to THIS clown!

DT: There’s never been a superstar in Empire Pro as cryptic or mystical as The First, but nevertheless, he’s won the support of the fans and the respect of many of the athletes in that locker room, because every time he goes in the ring, he puts it ALL on the line!

DM: Couldn’t agree with you more on that, Dave! The First has been one of this year’s biggest BREAKTHROUGH talents. He might have parted was with the tag team titles, thanks in part to the conniving ways of the Anthology, but here tonight does he not only have his chance at seeking justice, but also the opportunity to propel himself even FURTHER by picking up the Intercontinental Title!

[The First slowly makes his way to the ring, avoiding contact with the fans, he gets to the ring and carefully enters the ring, he climbs to the second rope and holds his arms to he sides like Raven as a bunch of cameras flash...He goes to the opposite corner and does the same before handing the crow to a bird trainer at ringside and then takes off his jacket, revealing his cut up Crow black shirt and that the right sleeve on the shirt has been cut off so he could tape his hand and arm half way up to the elbow. The Crow logo drawn in black marker on the tape. The lights come back in in the arena.]

[Moments later, “Killing In The Name Of” by Rage Against the Machine hits the PA, sending an ovation of JEERS raining down upon the stage! The house lights dim down as “The Anthology’s” regular video package plays over the EmpireTron. The song’s intro plays through, and then…]

*BOOM!!*

[…the pyro ROCKS the arena as the song goes into its first verse. Stepping out onto the stage is CAMERON CRUISE in his ring gear, wearing also an Anthology t-shirt and Anarchy shades, with the EPW INTERCONTINENTAL TITLE clearly displayed over his shoulder! The fans BOO upon the sight of him. Cruise sneers as he confidently makes his way to the ring.]

DT: The Intercontinental Champion has arrived to a VERY cold reaction from this capacity crowd! They sure HATE him for how much he and the Anthology have been terrorizing this federation as of late!

MN: Well, whether these idiot fans love him or hate him, they CAN’T deny the man’s talent! Cameron Cruise beat that fool Troy Douglas CLEANLY for the title, and if that doesn’t convince you of his ability, then you’re in DENIAL, Dave!

DM: Cameron Cruise has the talent, that’s for sure… but nevertheless, The First has a DEFINITE bone to pick with him! It was at the last Aggression that Cruise interrupted The First’s declaration that he wanted another title shot! It was Cruise that screwed over the Forsaken in their Tag Title match, ending nearly a year-long reign! Cruise might think he’s been in control up to this point… but I wouldn’t be surprised if The First gave him a run for his money!

DT: I myself am HOPING for it! After everything the Anthology have done to ruin The First’s climb to the top, the only thing I and these fans want to see tonight is sweet justice!

[Cruise hesitantly enters the ring and poses a few times for the jeering fans. He gets a PROMINENT negative reaction as he scales a turnbuckle and holds up his title for all to see, pointing at his chest and taunting the crowd. Finally, he comes to the center of the ring where ring announcer Tony Fatora, referee David Rosenkrantz, and his opponent The First are waiting.]

TF: Ladies and gentlemen… the following match is for the EMPIRE PRO WRESTLING INTERCONTINENTAL TITLE, and is set for ONE FALL!! Introducing first, the CHALLENGER… weighing in at 205 pounds, he hails from Salem, Massachusetts… HE IS… THHHHHEEEEEEE FIIIIIIRRRRRRSSSSSTTTTTT!!!!

Crowd: *POP!!*

[The First pumps a fist into the air, but his intense eyes don’t leave the face of Cameron Cruise.]

DT: Look at the FIERCE INTENSITY in those eyes! The First came here tonight to WIN this match!

MN: He’s going home disappointed, Dave. Hate to break it to ya…

TF: And his opponent… he hails from Jacksonville, North Carolina, and weighs in at 268 pounds… he is the EMPIRE PRO WRESTLING INTERCONTINENTAL CHAMPION… HE IS…. CCCAAAAMMMEERROOOONNN CCCRRRUUUIIIISSSEEEE!!!!

Crowd: *BOOOOOO!!!!*

[Cruise pumps the belt into the air again for a HUGE negative reaction! Finally, he hands the belt over to the referee and removes his extra articles of clothing in order to get ready.]

TF: Now presenting the referee for this contest… David Rosenkrantz!

[The referee hoists the belt over his head and presents it to all four sides of the arena as both champion and challenger loosen up in their corners and great ready for the bell. Finally, the ref hands the belt over to the timekeeper and cues the match to start.]

DT: Referee David Rosenkrantz cues the bell, and the battle for the EPW Intercontinental Title begins! Both men advancing to the middle of the ring, and—wait a second, the First just froze in place! He’s got his hands up, telling the champion to wait!

DM: The hell…?

DT: The First is now clutching his throat, while his opponent stands in astonishment… is he choking on something? Gagging, perhaps?

MN: Nah, more than likely, he’s trying to chew back the puke from his pre-match jitters.

DT: The referee is moving in to check on his condition—OH WAIT!!

[The First suddenly pops his head back and sprays colored MIST into the air, to the shock of both the official and his opponent.]

Crowd: *POP!!*

DT: The First puts a cloud of GREEN MIST INTO THE AIR!! Cameron Cruise has no idea on how to react to that!

MN: HOW DID HE DO THAT?! Is he some sort of magician?!

DM: Maybe he wasn’t able to chew back the puke after all, Neels!

[The camera zooms in on the face of The First as he grins back at his opponent with emerald-stained teeth.]

DT: Looks like the challenger is trying to play mind games with the champ!

MN: Lotta good that’ll do him! There isn’t anybody alive who can get under the skin of someone so cool and collected as Cameron Cruise!

DM: Tell that to his face.

DT: Cruise is left standing in stunned silence… AND ALL AT ONCE, The First LUNGES on him! Both men struggling in the lock-up, and The First comes out with Cruise’s left arm, which he quickly slaps into a hammerlock! The First, trying to put the strain on that forearm… but there’s Cruise with the REVERSAL!!

MN: You can’t outwrestle a GENIUS like Cameron Cruise! He was practically Melton’s protégée!

DT: Don’t bring THAT up again… the IC champ has the hammerlock in place, but he gets batted away with an ELBOW from the challenger! Cruise moves in to strike—but he FREEZES IN PLACE at the last possible moment, just as The First’s right heel comes INCHES from his face!

DM: Cruise is lucky he managed to put on the breaks there, or I’m sure The First would have taken his head clean off with that BEAUTIFUL roundhouse kick!

DT: Both men distancing themselves from each other as they calculate their next moves… here’s Cruise pressing forward—OH WOW!! He backs off immediately when The First throws out another lightning-fast kick to ward him away! Did you see the SPEED on that??

MN: What a freakin’ coward, that First! Did he forget what sport this is?

DT: Here’s Cruise stepping up again… and he practically JUMPS BACK this time when The First takes a step forward and feints with his left leg! Now he’s griping to the ref! You’re going to call The First a COWARD when the champ is the one running scared?

MN: Hey, this is PRO WRESTLING; not Mortal Kombat! If he really wanted to prove his worth, why not try and beat my man Cammy in the ground game?

DM: He’s just sticking to his strengths in speed and striking, Mike. He’d only shoot himself in the foot by trying to out-wrestle Cruise, who clearly holds the technical advantage.

MN: Sounds like you just made a solid argument as to who the better man is in that ring!

DT: We’ll know who the “better man” is when this contest has concluded! For now, the challenger occupies the center of the ring while the champion slowly circles around him, plotting his next plan of attack. Cruise is clearly playing it patiently while he weighs in on his opponent, but The First is showing us all a LOT of energy and determination coming into the opening minute of this match!

MN: Too bad all that single-minded brashness will end up costing him down the line…

DT: Cruise has got to make a move, because The First is just waiting for him… and THERE HE GOES, shooting in low while The First kicks HIGH, and just sweeps him off his feet by the legs!

DM: A smart move on the part of the champion! If he can control The First’s legs, he can control this match!

DT: Cruise has a hold of that leg now, trying to cinch in a single crab… but he’s KICKED OFF by The First! WOW!! The First springs to his feet from lying on his back!

MN: Spry little thing, ain’t he? You sure he doesn’t belong in the circus or among a band of gypsies?

DT: I think you’re getting the wrong impressions about the athleticism that man has. Here’s The First with a KICK to the mid-section—but Cruise CATCHES him by the foot and spins him around! Cruise has him from behind, lifts him up with a BACK SUPLEX—but The First FLIPS OVER and lands on his feet! The First GOES FOR THE ROLL-UP!!

ONE!

TWO!!

But Cruise kicks out!

DM: Would’ve been pretty embarrassing if Cameron Cruise lost this Intercontinental Title match as easy as that!

MN: Oh yeah, I’m sure it would have, Dean, but it DIDN’T, and it WOULDN’T HAVE HAPPENED anyway!

DT: Cruise escapes a near upset for the Anthology, and both men scramble to their feet… and Cruise BLASTS The First with a knife-edge chop to the chest before he can react! There’s a SECOND that knocks him against the ropes, and Cruise whips him across the ring!

DM: The Intercontinental Champion is looking to take an advantage in this match… here’s The First on the return, running straight into a HIP-TOSS—no, THE FIRST REVERSES, and he sends CRUISE to the mat with a hip-toss of his own!

DT: Cruise back up… AND THE FIRST FLOORS HIM with a roundhouse! Cruise up again… OH, AND ANOTHER ROUNDHOUSE KICK levels him! The fans are on their feet now as the challenger begins picking up steam!

MN: FOOLS!

DT: Cruise is a bit slow getting up this time, so The First helps him up the rest of the way, and there’s the whip to the ropes… The First looking for a HURRICANRANA—but Cruise caught the top rope and jumped outside before he could run right into that!

Crowd: *BOOO!*

DM: And the fans are really letting Cameron Cruise have it here tonight!

MN: What BLATANT disrespect for the Intercontinental Champion!

DT: There isn’t much respect to be had by the way he and the Anthology have been terrorizing this federation! Now back to the action… referee David Rosenkrantz at the count of three, and Cameron Cruise decides to reenter the ring. He rolls right into a series of STOMPS from The First, and now the challenger to the Intercontinental Title gets the champion back to his feet! There’s the Irish Whip to the corner, and Cruise connects hard!

DM: Here comes The First, charging in to capitalize—OH NO, CRUISE GOT OUT OF THE WAY!! The First took a face-full of the padded turnbuckle, and left himself wide open for the champ!

MN: Alright, now THIS is what I want to see!

DT: The First trying to shake the pain out of his jaw, but here comes Cruise from behind, grabbing him by the waist and NAILING HIM with a GERMAN SUPLEX!! He bridges for the pin!

ONE!

TWO!

And a strong kick-out made by The First! The challenger coming to his feet… but he’s PUT DOWN by the champ, who blasts him with a forearm!

DM: Here is Cruise’s opportunity to set the pace of this match! That reversal might have been all he needed to derail the explosive offense set by The First!

DT: Cruise stays on The First and forces him to his feet… there’s a KNEE to the mid-section to double him over! Cruise lifts him UP… AND DROPS HIM ON HIS FACE with a Reverse Suplex! And before The First can even roll over in pain, Cruise slaps on a front face-lock to keep him nailed down!

MN: Now THIS is the match I was expecting to see! All we have to do now is sit back and simply WATCH as Cammy tears apart this wrist-cutting emo kid piece by piece!

DM: I don’t think “emo” is the appropriate classification, Neels…

MN: He’s wearing make-up and came dressed as the Crow. How ELSE would you classify it?!

DT: Cruise is tightening his grip, putting the pressure across The First’s neck and squeezing the life right out of him! The First is hanging on, though… now he’s trying to force himself to his feet! But NO! Cruise TENSES and forces him back to the mat! The First is in a bad situation!

DM: This is the very Cameron Cruise we saw months ago when he defeated Troy Douglas for the strap. Unless The First can find a way to get out of this one, the champion is just going to continue wearing him down until he’s out of endurance and left defenseless!

DT: Wait a second… the fans are starting to get into it! The First is mounting some support from the AUDIENCE, and now trying to force himself to his feet again!

MN: What a worthless gesture…

Crowd: *FIRST!! FIRST!! FIRST!! FIRST!! FIRST!!*

DT: The First on his knees… now up on his RIGHT leg! This capacity crowd is getting to their feet, as now The First props up onto his left leg, and we can see the panic in the face of the champion, Cameron Cruise! Cruise is trying his damnedest to choke The First out, but the former Tag Team Champion is fighting it with everything he’s got!

DM: He’s back on his feet, but he still needs to free himself! Unless he can take Cruise down or make contact with the ropes, I don’t see how—

DT: OH NO!! Cruise with a ROLLING DDT out of nowhere, puts The First back to the mat, and just leaves this entire arena in SILENCE!!

MN: HA HA!! There’s never been a more beautiful sound to my ears than that of HEARTBREAK!

DT: Cruise goes for the cover…

ONE!

TWO!

And The First kicks out!

Crowd: *POP!*

MN: DAMN! I thought they’d finally shut up!

DM: It’s going to take more than that to put the challenger out of this match!

DT: The First keeps his hopes alive by kicking out of the pin attempt, but now he finds himself faced with the task of trying to retake the control of this match from the pace set by Cameron Cruise! Everything right now is just how the Intercontinental Champion wants it to be: slow and methodical.

MN: You’re right about THAT, Dave! Imagine that… you, using your brain for once! The First might’ve been able to survive that, but eventually, Cruise is just going to chip away at him until there’s nothing left but sweet SUBMISSION!

DT: I’m just going to pretend I didn’t hear that petty insult toward my intelligence… back in the ring, Cruise maintains the pace, now rolling The First onto his belly and wrenching back on his head with a CHINLOCK!!

DM: Oh man, the dreaded CHINLOCK OF DOOM!! The most INFAMOUS of sleeper holds!

MN: Wait, that’s a sleeper hold?

DM: Indeed it is. It makes people go to sleep… only, not the people you put it on.

DT: I hardly doubt ANYBODY will be sleeping through this match, Dean! The fans are all on the edge of their seats as Cruise wrenches back on the face and neck of the challenger, The First! The First is stretching his hand out in search of the ropes, but they are clearly out of reach!

MN: Right on that, Dave! Those ropes are as distant and impossible as his hopes of winning this match!

DT: The First is struggling to free himself, but Cruise keeps him in place, continuing to cut off the blood supply to the challenger’s brain and putting an intense amount of strain on his head and neck!

DM: BO-ORING!

DT: Boring or not, Dean-O, it’s an effective method to win this match! If Cruise can keep the high-flying offense of The First safe on the mat, he WILL dominate this match, no questions asked!

MN: You’re finally seeing MY side of things, Dave! Cruise is nothing short of a wrestling GENIUS, and regardless of what Dean might think, it’s THAT kind of DEVASTATING chinlock we’re seeing there in the ring that’s going to elevate the Anthology above everybody else in Empire Pro!

DM: Mike… you don’t know the first thing about Cameron Cruise’s way of wrestling. All you know is that you like him because he was Joey Melton’s towel boy years ago.

MN: That’s a bold-faced LIE, and you know it!

DM: Then tell me the name of Cruise’s finisher.

MN: Uhhm… what was Joey’s finisher again?

DM: The figure-four.

MN: Yeah, that.

DM: You mean to tell me that out of ALL the times you’ve watched Cameron Cruise over the past few years, you STILL don’t know what his finisher is?

MN: I just told you it was the figure-four! I mean, what ELSE would it be? The figure-four is the end-all BE-ALL of finishers, which is why Melton used it!

DM: You are so unbelievably stupid sometimes…

MN: …is there a point to all this?

DM: Not really. I’m just trying to keep myself entertained while your best buddy in the world Cameron Cruise BORES ME TO DEATH with his “devastating” chinlock…

DT: Can it, guys… let’s focus on the action!

DM: Oh, excuse me for talking while NOTHING was happening, because… oh, wait, what’s THIS now?! The First is trying to force himself to his feet once again!

Crowd: *FIRST!! FIRST!! FIRST!! FIRST!! FIRST!!*

MN: Man, why does this business attract so many IDIOTS?!

DT: The First is once again mounting the support of the crowd, and using it to force himself to his feet! Will this be his moment to turn things around, or will Cruise quickly dash all hopes of making a comeback once again?

MN: I’m voting on the second one.

DM: The First is on all fours with Cruise mounting him from behind… and all Cammy needs to do is hook his arms over his knees to lock in a Camel Clutch, and then the challenger would have a REAL submission hold to deal with!

DT: Cruise is now putting that KNEE into the spine of The First, doing all he can to wear the challenger down, but no matter what he does, The First will NOT give up! The First is now using his hands, trying to break away Cruise’s grip! Can he free himself?!

MN: Come on, Cammy! You’re LOSING it, now!

DT: The First is PRYING AWAY… OH, BUT CRUISE BLASTS HIM WITH A FOREARM TO THE BACK OF THE HEAD!! WHAT a cheap shot!

DM: The fans didn’t like it, but it’s all perfectly legal, and now Cruise grabs The First from behind… lifting him UP FOR THE ATOMIC DROP—oh WAIT!! The First’s legs hook around his waist, and now he’s in the WHEELBARROW position!

MN: Even BETTER!

DT: Dunno what The First was looking for there, but now Cruise, opting for a WHEELBARROW FACEBUSTER—BUT THE FIRST CURLS FORWARD!!

DM: And Cruise goes ROLLING WITH HIM!!

MN: What the HELL?!

DT: The First used those legs to flip Cruise over onto his SHOULDERS and has BOTH LEGS HOOKED FOR THE PIN!!

ONE!!

TWO!!

NO!! Cruise kicks out, but NEARLY lost it to that sudden and innovative roll-up attempt made by The First!

DM: That’s got the champion STEAMED! Cruise is back up… and now he comes at The First with a RUNNING LARIAT—

DT: AND HE MISSES!! The First throws himself into the ropes…

MN: …oh CRAP!!

DT: AND THE FIRST CONNECTS WITH THE SPEAR!! Cruise didn’t see that one coming AT ALL, and now he’s on his back with the challenger pinning him FOR THE TITLE!

ONE!!

TWO!!

NO!! Another kickout made by Cameron Cruise!

MN: I was gonna say… if spent all that time wearing that punk down and rolled over to THAT, I’d be pretty disappointed.

DM: Stranger things have happened in this sport, Mike, but I’d have to agree with you on that. Cameron Cruise earned that title for a reason, and The First couldn’t possibly expect to have pulled a miracle victory that easily.

DT: Regardless, The First shows there’s still fight left in him, and even more important, he’s broken Cameron Cruise’s control of this match, and now vies for the advantage!

MN: Come on, Cammy! You’ve been doin’ so great up until now! Don’t lose me now!

DM: Cruise still looks a little shaken from that spear! He’s got a good sixty pounds over the challenger, but when The First puts ALL of his weight into his moves, they pack quite a punch! It’s like being struck by a HUMAN CANNONBALL!

DT: If he sticks to his strengths, he’ll have that title in no time! The First, getting Cruise to his feet… OH!! And Cruise just rakes the eyes out of view of the ref! What a cheap shot!

MN: Come on, stop ragging on the guy for making a simple mistake! He was clearly just trying to grab a good handful of his hair!

DM: That’s still illegal contact, Mike… Cruise, looking to capitalize, catches The First from behind while he had his back turned… could be going for a ROLL-UP—but The First clings to the ROPES and Cruise rolls back without him!

DT: Cruise back to his feet, and runs in… but The First catches him in a LEG SCISSOR using the ropes for leverage! Cruise’s head is caught in place and he has NOWHERE TO GO while The First remains suspended in air by the ropes and his shoulders!

MN: Hey, HEY!! ILLEGAL CONTACT, he’s touching the ropes!

DT: Fair enough… The First pushes off the ropes, and sends Cruise FLIPPING TO THE MAT with a BEAUTIFUL HEADSCISSOR TAKEDOWN! The fans are going wild as the champion scrambles to his feet in a daze… and gets BLASTED by a JUMPING HEEL KICK FROM THE FIRST!!

DM: The First just knocked the champ SENSELESS with that one-two combo! Wait a second… The First is going UPSTAIRS!! High-risk move coming up!

DT: Or maybe NOT!! Cameron Cruise saw what was coming and quickly rolled out of the ring! The First was threatening to come from up high where Cruise KNOWS he can be dangerous, and now the champion is on the run!

MN: He’s NOT on the run, Dave; he’s simply DISTANCING himself from that crazy turnbuckle-climbing spot monkey! Why doesn’t he come on down and fight like a man?!

DM: Well, Mike, explain to me why The First is in the ring and he’s not.

MN: Cameron Cruise doesn’t have to put up with this flippity-floppity-floop up and down the ring! He’s a PROFESSIONAL!

DM: And The First isn’t just because he dares to go from the top?

MN: Look, if The First wanted to make a living jumping off high things, he should have joined the circus! This is PRO WRESTLING, my man!

DM: Yeah, it is… and I know something about it… unlike YOU.

DT: David Rosenkrantz is at the count of six while Cameron Cruise contemplates his next move! He’s gotta go back into that ring sooner or later, so I don’t know what he’s waiting on.

MN: Actually, Dave, he DOESN’T have to go back into that ring if he doesn’t want to! That’s the perk about being a champ, is that YOU DECIDE when someone’s worthy or not to fight you for the title!

DT: While that might be a technicality, I don’t think it would hold too well to Cameron Cruise’s reputation if he simply chose to… wait a second, Cruise sliding in—and RIGHT BACK OUT as The First moves in to engage him! He breaks the ten count, but now we’re still looking at the same situation!

DM: The crowd is getting anxious, and The First is looking noticeably impatient… but to the keen eye, this is smart work on the part of Cameron Cruise. He needs to keep his distance at this pivotal point in the match, because The First has the momentum on his side. This is a brilliant defense mechanism, because the longer he draws this on, the faster the adrenaline rush wears off, and he can put this fight back into a pace that suits his strengths in the ring!

DT: Seems to ME that The First is giving him a bit more than he expected when he came into the ring, and he just doesn’t know how to react to it!

MN: Pfft, what do you know, Dave?

DT: Well I do know this… the referee is at the count of seven, and Cameron Cruise still seems reluctant to reenter that ring! Now he’s climbing up to the apron… you can see him sternly telling referee David Rosenkrantz to keep The First off of him while he has a hold of the ropes, but the challenger is telling him to hurry up and BRING IT!

MN: Who is this impudent PUNK to come in here and tell the champion how he should be defending HIS title?!

DT: It may not be his title any longer before this night is over, Mike! Cruise finally reentering the ring… and HERE COMES THE FIRST!! NO!! Cruise caught him with a DROP TOE HOLD!! The First pops up to his feet… but Cruise meets him with a SCOOP… and just CRUSHES HIM over his KNEE WITH THE SHOULDERBREAKER!!

MN: WOO-HOO!

DM: Here goes Cruise, looking for and STF—IT’S THE CRUISE CONTROL!!—but The First HAS THE ROPES! The champion should have done that closer to the center of the ring!

DT: Oh no, looks like he’s having the same thoughts as YOU Dean-O! Cruise drags The First to the center of the ring, and again goes for the STF… but The First is STRUGGLING TOO MUCH for him to lock it in! He knows what’s up!

DM: Cruise can’t keep ahold of him! The First is FIGHTING HIM!! He knows it’ll be over if the champion locks in the STF!

MN: Obnoxious little twit… settle down and TAKE IT already!

DT: The First is breaking FREE, and Cruise can’t keep him on the mat any longer! The First IS UP… and he goes for the boot to the gut—CAUGHT by CRUISE—AND THE FIRST NAILS THE ENZIGURI!!

MN: NOOO!! WHAT HAPPENED?!

DT: Cruise just COLLAPSED on the mat! This capacity crowd is going absolutely INSANE as The First regains control of this match! Now he’s going for the COVER!!

ONE!!

TWO!!

NO!! Cruise kicks out again! I was almost CERTAIN he was knocked out!

MN: Cameron Cruise can’t be knocked out so easily, Dave! He’s got a thick skull!

DM: Yeah, I could imagine…

MN: …uh, ONLY because he has a larger than average brain, is why!

DT: Cruise working back to his feet, but The First has ahold of him… The First pushes Cruise off the ropes with the whip—no, REVERSED by Cruise! The First goes into the ropes, and here’s Cruise looking for the clothesline on the return… but The First DUCKED IT!!

DM: That doesn’t bode well for the champ! Here’s The First off the other set of ropes… and just LEVELS Cameron Cruise with a RUNNING DROPKICK!! Cruise is having trouble keeping up with the high-energy and impact of the challenger!

MN: He’s perfectly FINE, Dean! Stop overreacting!

DT: Cruise trying to get to his feet… but The First CATCHES HIM WITH THE OKLAHOMA ROLL!!

MN: OH MY GOD, NO!!!

DT: THE FIRST HAS HIM IN THE INESCAPABLE TORMENT!!!


ONE!!


TWO!!


THREE—OH NO!! Cruise kicked OUT at the last possible second!

MN: PHEW…!

DM: And you say I’M overreacting?

DT: The First was looking to put it away while the opportunity to strike was there, but Cameron Cruise managed to keep his poise and kick out when he absolutely needed to! Both men have made attempts to end this match, but I have a feeling there’s still a lot of fight to be had!

DM: You might be right on that, Dave. The First is now getting Cameron Cruise back to his feet… and there’s the Irish Whip to the corner! The First going to the SECOND ROPE!

[The First pumps his fist into the air to get a reaction from the crowd.]

Crowd: *POP!!*

DT: Time to COUNT ALONG if you’re watching at home!

ONE!

TWO!

THREE!

FOUR!

FIVE!

SIX!

SEVEN!

EIGHT!

NINE!

…and a FINAL HOOK to the face rounds it out at TEN!! Cruise just falls FLAT on the mat!

DM: He could be OUT… and now THE FIRST is going TO THE TOP ROPE once again!

Crowd: *POP!!*

DT: The First is going for the high-risk maneuvers that he’s known for! He’s perched on the top and waiting for Cruise to stand up and turn around… Cruise is ALMOST UP—oh, BUT HE ROLLS TO THE FAR CORNER!!

MN: YES!! Good job, Cammy! STAY AWAY from that classless FREAK!

Crowd: *BOOOO!!!*

DM: Cameron Cruise has found temporary sanctuary sitting in the far corner, clearly OUT of The First’s top-rope lunging distance! The First is now left standing on the top rope, clearly annoyed! He wants to go for the high-flying and high-impact moves that will put him over his opponent, but Cruise, sneaky like he is, knows when to keep AWAY!

DT: The First, meanwhile, will just have to wait until the opportunity presents itself once again. The First, back on the mat, and Cruise coming to his feet… and both men LOCK UP!! There’s CRUISE with the Arm Wrench, using that advantage in size and technical knowledge over The First!

MN: Pop his arm right off, Cammy!

DT: The First, slapping his shoulder to keep the feeling in it… wait a minute, The First FLIPS OVER, and REVERSES THE PRESSURE onto Cruise! Cameron Cruise just got YANKED over onto his back!

DM: Cruise keeps trying to wrestles, but The First is doing a fine job in keeping the offensive momentum on his side! Here’s The First running into the ropes… WHOA!!

DT: A RUNNING SENTON SPLASH across the RIBS of Cameron Cruise!! The First goes for the COVER… but he didn’t hook the legs!

ONE!!

TWO!!

NO!! Cruise kicked out! And I’m sure if The First had hooked one of the legs, that would have been a three count!

MN: Cruise was getting out of that either way, Dave… you obviously don’t give him the credit he deserves!

DM: The champion is in a REALLY precarious spot now! We’ve seen him escape the supposedly INESCAPABLE Torment of The First, and he’s managed to stay alive in this match thus far, but the challenger has all the momentum he needs and near DEAFENING support from these fans! If Cruise wants to keep that Intercontinental Belt among the Anthology, he needs to work his way out of this situation!

DT: And if you ask me, with every second that passes in this match with The First in control, that task only gets harder and harder! The First is doing a TREMENDOUS job of keeping Cruise always on his toes, unable to catch a breath or even solidify himself long enough to form a battle plan! This on-the-fly offense from the challenger is just too much for him to handle right now!

MN: Like I said, Dave, there is NOTHING that Cameron Cruise can’t handle! It might look like The First is controlling things right now, but Cruise can and WILL come bouncing back when the opportunity is right!

DT: It all depends on how much longer Cruise can withstand this kind of offense from The First! The First, now, bringing the Intercontinental Champion back to his feet… and there’s the whip to the ropes… Cruise on the return, could be going right into a HURRICANRANA—OH BUT CRUISE REVERSES WITH A SIT-OUT POWERBOMB!!

MN: YES!! TOLD YOU he’d bounce back!

DT: That gave The First quite a shock, but now he has other problems, as CRUISE HAS HIM IN THE PRAWN HOLD!!

ONE!!

TWO!!

NO!! The First ROLLS THROUGH and reverses the pin onto CRUISE!!

ONE!!

TWO!!

NO!! Cruise KICKED OUT!!

—no, REVERSED BY CRUISE!! The First on the return… here’s Cruise with a BACK BODY—no, THE FIRST WITH A BIG KNEE TO THE FACE!! Cruise, desperately trying to turn the tables, but THE FIRST HAS STOPPED HIM AGAIN!!

MN: DAMNIT!!

DT: The First back on his feet, and Cruise is having trouble getting up… and now The First points TO THE TURNBUCKLE!!

Crowd: *POP!!!*

DM: The FANS want it… HE wants… and he’s GOING FOR IT! The First is CLIMBING UP TO THE TOP ROPE—BUT WAIT, HERE COMES CRUISE!!

DT: OOOOH MAN!! Cruise just hit the ropes and RACKED THE FIRST on the top turnbuckle! The First collapses to the mat in pain as Cruise leans on the ropes, trying to catch his breath!

MN: HA HA!! THATTABOY, Cammy!!

DM: Cameron Cruise just effectively put up a BRICK WALL that brought The First’s fast-paced momentum to a screeching halt! Now let’s see if he can jump on the opportunity and regain control of this match!

DT: Cruise is looking hurt all over, but nevertheless, now he’s getting The First back to his feet… there’s the whip to the ropes… The First on the return—OH MAN!! He just ran right into a KNEE to the abdomen from Cameron Cruise!!

DM: So far, so good for Cameron Cruise as he wears the challenger down! Cruise taking a moment to catch his breath now, but The First is hold those abs in pain as he gets to his feet… but here comes Cruise! Cameron Cruise, with an EXPLODER SUPLEX, just VIOLENTLY SLAMS THE FIRST TO THE MAT!!

DT: OH NO… that move just left The First DEVASTATED and UNMOVING on the mat! Here comes Cruise with the pin attempt!

ONE!!

TWO!!

NO!! The First KICKS OUT!!

MN: Oh, JUST BARELY!!

DM: The First trying to get up, but a STOMP from Cameron Cruise keeps him in place! I think the champion is finally coming back into this match! He’s been dormant over the past several minutes, but now I think he’s only been soaking up all the punishment given to him by The First just to tire him out and regain the advantage!

MN: EXACTLY, Dean! That’s textbook Cameron Cruise for ya! Always one step ahead, no matter HOW HARD you try!

DT: Wait a minute… now CRUISE is pointing to the top rope!

[With a spiteful smirk on his face, Cameron Cruise mocks The First’s earlier gesture to the disapproval of the fans.]

Crowd: *BOOOO!!!*

DM: Talk about adding insult to injury! Now Cruise suddenly feels confident enough to try and beat The First at his own game!

MN: Dean, it’s LONG been a known fact that Cameron Cruise can do all the high-flying crap when he needs to… but the fact of the matter is, he’s NEVER needed to, because he’s good enough at doing things in his own way!

DT: Cruise taking his time climbing to the top while taunting the fans… I’d say he’s—OH WAIT!! THE FIRST JUST SPRUNG OFF THE MAT!!

MN: OH NO!!

DT: AND THE FIRST JUST SHOVED CRUISE OFF THE TOP ROPE!! GOOD GOD, CRUISE JUST TOOK A NASTY FALL TO THE OUTSIDE!!

DM: He got showy, and it ended up COSTING HIM! He had all the momentum he needed, but he tried stealing his opponent’s shtick! The First wasn’t going to have ANY of that!

MN: Oh, SHUT UP, Dean!! That’s a TAG TEAM LEGEND there in that ring, and until you start showing him some RESPECT, you’re nothing but—

DT: OH WAIT, THE FIRST MOUNTING THE TOP ROPE!!

Crowd: *POP!!!*

DT: HE GOT HIM!! OH MY GOD, HE GOT HIM, AND WHAT PICTURE PERFECT TIMING!!! FROM THE TOP ROPE TO THE OUTSIDE, THE FIRST JUST LAID OUT THE INTERCONTINENTAL CHAMPION WITH THAT CORKSCREW SENTON BOMB!!

DM: I… I’m just SPEECHLESS RIGHT NOW at WHAT I JUST SAW!! From OUT OF NOWHERE, The First WENT FOR IT and NAILED IT RIGHT WHEN HE NEEDED TO!! After all the frustration he’s dealt with trying to get Cruise from the top rope, it’s FINALLY paid off, and this capacity crowd is ON ITS FEET!!

Crowd: *FIRST!! FIRST!! FIRST!! FIRST!! FIRST!!*

MN: Damnit, can’t these people JUST SHUT UP?!?

DT: Both men are lying motionless outside the ring following that DEVASTATING high-risk maneuver! The First, finally showing signs of life as the referee reaches the count of four! Now The First is slowly getting to his feet with the help of the ring apron! He needs to hurry, because now I see Cameron Cruise rolling over and beginning the hard and painful process of recovering from THAT breathtaking attack!

MN: Come on, Cammy! You can’t lose to a guy in PAJAMAS!!

DT: The First, pulling himself onto the ring apron now! Cameron Cruise finally on his hands and knees, but he looks DAZED! Does The First even have the energy to CAPITALIZE at this point?!

DM: Don’t count him out just yet, Dave! The First now finally back on his feet, and backing up on the apron to put some distance between himself and the champion! He’s got something ELSE up his sleeve, as it seems!

MN: Oh no, TURN AROUND, CAMMY!! No, WAIT, DON’T—!!

DT: TOO LATE!! Cruise turns around, AND THE FIRST COMES RUNNING OFF THE APRON WITH A DRAGONRANA!!! OH MY GOD, CAMERON CRUISE JUST GOT FLIPPED SIX WAYS TO SUNDAY!!

Crowd: *POP!!*

DM: MY OH MY, IS THERE NO STOPPING THE FIRST?! He’s just EXPLODED with UNSTOPPABLE HIGH-FLYING INTENSITY in this pivotal point in this match!!

MN: This is a freaking TRAVESTY?! Why isn’t that STUPID REFERE counting FASTER?!? It’s CLEARLY been more than ten seconds!!

DT: Referee David Rosenkrantz is at the count of SEVEN, but now The First is peeling Cruise off the mat and rolling him back into the ring!

DM: He’s got to go for the PIN now!

DT: He DOES!! The First HOOKS THE LEGS…



ONE!!!




TWO!!!


THR—OH NO!! Cruise KICKED OUT!!

MN: WHOA, Cammy… you had me WORRIED for a minute!

DT: The Intercontinental Champion survives another near fall, but even now, as this match wears on past the thirty-minute mark, one has to wonder how much MORE can he take until there’s nothing left in him?!

MN: Come on, Dave! You can’t count the champion out YET!

DT: His outlook is looking bleak… The First bringing Cruise back to his feet… The First looking for an IRISH WHIP—no, REVERSED by Cameron Cruise—wait, The First VAULTS to the top rope… WHISPER IN THE—

DM: NOBODY HOME!! Cruise saw it coming, and DUCKED just in time!

DT: A narrow evasion on the part of Cameron Cruise, but now here comes The First—but Cruise STOPS HIM IN PLACE with a chop across the chest, extends the arm, and—

REALITY CHECK!!!

OH MY GOD, THAT CAME OUT OF NOWHERE!!! THIS CAPACITY CROWD HAS BEEN LEFT IN STUNNED SILENCE!!

MN: YES, THERE IT IS!! The Reality Check that he JUST… WON’T… LIKE!!

DM: NOBODY LIKED IT, by the sound of things!! Cameron Cruise just pulled that out of THIN AIR, and EFFECTIVELY STOPPED The First’s offense dead in its tracks! All he needs to do is make the COVER, and this one will be OVER!!

DT: Cruise, taking too long to recover… but now he finally crawls over the chest of The First! Come on, KICKOUT, First!




ONE!!!




TWO!!!!





THREE—OH NO, THE FIRST KICKED OUT!! THE FIRST KICKED OUT!!

DM: INCREDIBLE!!! The First, STILL showing signs of life in this match, even after that completely unexpected turnaround! Now both men are struggling to get to their feet first… this match has just exhausted them BOTH beyond unimaginable levels!

MN: Come on, Cammy! Now’s your CHANCE!

DT: Will CRUISE take the late advantage in this match? He may so! He’s up on his feet… and meets The First with a BOOT to the gut… SWINGING NECKBREAKER BY THE CHAMPION, and THE FIRST hits the mat once again!

DM: The First is just COMPLETELY out of steam right now! He’s lost all the energy and impact that put him ahead in this match, and even though he did the damage to the champ, Cameron Cruise is still on his feet, and now The First is completely his whim!

DT: Cruise, peeling The First off the mat once again… and he sends him into the ropes!! Here’s The First on the return… LEAP FROGS over a Back Body Drop attempt from Cruise! The First hits the other set of ropes… looking for a CROSS BODY BLOCK—OH GOD, NO!! REVERSED INTO A POWERSLAM BY CAMERON CRUISE!!

MN: YEAH, BABY!! That twerp thought he could do his tricky crap again, but Cammy is DONE falling for that nonsense!

DM: The attempt to turn things back around has failed for The First, and now he’s paying the price! Cruise, on the other hand, is stomping around the ring, slapping his chest! Despite the beating he’s taken through this match, he is PUMPED!

DT: This isn’t looking good for The First… the challenger now trying to get to his feet, but Cruise is stalking him from his blindspot… here comes CRUISE—AND HE JUST BLASTED THE FIRST WITH A RUNNING BULLDOG!! The First didn’t even see it COMING!!

MN: Kiss the MAT, dweeb!

DT: Cruise rolls The First over for the cover! Is this IT?! Does the champion RETAIN?!



ONE!!



TWO!!



THREE—OH WAIT, NO!! THE FIRST GOT THE SHOULDER UP!!! IT’S NOT OVER YET!!

DM: The First is hanging in there by the skin of his teeth, but you can see the frustration mounting in Cameron Cruise! Cruise is practically TEARING him to his feet now… there’s the KNEE to the gut, and Cruise slaps on the facelock… up into the AIR GOES THE FIRST—AND BROUGHT DOWN WITH A BRAINBUSTER!!! GOOD GOD, HE COULD HAVE BROKEN HIS NECK!!

DT: A simply DEVASTATING move! I don’t know HOW The First is going to come back from THAT!! But… Cruise isn’t FINISHED YET!! Cruise is… going to the TURNBUCKLE once again!

DM: But there isn’t any mockery this time around! This time, Cruise means BUSINESS as he ascends to the top turnbuckle! The First, trying to fight the PAIN and the EXHAUSTION that are overtaking him right now, forcing himself to his feet… but Cruise is perched on the top and waiting for him!

MN: Time for a taste of your own bitter medicine, you damn Peter Pan wannabe!

DT: The First almost up… now he turns AROUND—AND THERE GOES CRUISE OFF THE TOP ROPE!! GOD NO, HE NAILED HIM WITH A MISSILE DROPKICK!!! THE FIRST TOOK A DROPKICK FROM THE TOP TO THE FACE… AND IT HIT HIM SO HARD IT KNOCKED HIM FROM THE RING!!!

DM: I’ve never SEEN impact like that in a top rope maneuver, but then Cruise outweighs The First by nearly sixty pounds! With that advantage in weight, I can only imagine that for The First, it felt like getting knocked around by a demolition crew’s WRECKING BALL!!

DT: The First is desperately trying to get to his feet, clutching to the apron to pull himself up… wait, here’s CRUISE—BASEBALL SLIDE RIGHT TO THE MUSH!! MY GOD, THAT KNOCKED THE FIRST INTO THE STEEL BARRICADE!! He’s just getting BRUTALIZED at this point!!

MN: Damn right he is! You know how long Cruise has been waiting to DOMINATE this match?

DT: Cruise leaving the ring now to continue the punishment on the nearly defenseless First! Here’s Cruise, pulling The First off the mat… and THROWS HIM RIGHT INTO THE RING APRON!! My God, it’s like he’s trying to grind his SPINE into POWDER!! Cruise takes him by the arm… GOOD GOD, WHIPS HIM RIGHT INTO THE STEEL STEPS!! That was simply a SICKENING COLLISION!!

DM: Cruise is knocking The First around from pillar to post, using that size advantage to just OVERPOWER HIM! The champion finally puts the challenger back into the ring… and I think he might be ready to finish this one OFF, Dave! The First has NOTHING LEFT!!

DT: Cameron Cruise is now locking The First into a front-facelock and forcing him to his feet! What does he have planned now?

DM: It can’t be GOOD, Dave! Cruise taunting the crowd now…

Crowd: *BOOOOOO!!!!!*

MN: Show some RESPECT FOR YOUR CHAMPION, you ingrates!!

DT: Cruise doesn’t like what he hears… OH MY GOD, IMPLANT DDT ON THE FIRST!! HE JUST BURIED HIS HEAD DIRECTLY INTO THE MAT!! MY GOD, THE FIRST IS DEAD!!!

DM: You could be RIGHT, Dave!! With that DDT, I’m sure The First’s brains shot right into his FEET!! Cruise drove him into the mat with EVERYTHING HE HAD!!

DT: Here’s Cruise with the pin… this has GOT to be it!



ONE!!!





TWO!!!




THE CHAMPION RETAI—OH WAIT!! THE FIRST HAD HIS FOOT ON THE ROPES!!! YES!!! YES!!! HE’S STILL IN THIS MATCH!!!

Crowd: *POP!!!*

DM: Cameron Cruise is simply DUMBSTRUCK right now! But every time The First kicks out, he gets even MORE angry… and when Cruise gets ANGRY, he shows his DANGEROUS side!!

MN: The First is going to REGRET kicking out of that pin attempt! Cruise is just ready to go backstage and soak his feet and enjoy being the IC Champ like he always does, and this impudent JERK’S fighting spirit is just totally killing the enjoyment levels!

DT: It’s an emotional war for the Intercontinental Title! The champion, pulling out EVERY ace up his sleeve to walk out of this arena with the title, but The First is not wanting to die! But now I think Cruise has HAD ENOUGH!! Cruise, bringing The First to his feet… up on his SHOULDERS!! HE’S LOOKING FOR THE SHIPWRECK!!

Crowd: *BOOOOO!!!!*

DM: Oh man, if he nails this, it’s OVER!!

MN: KILL HIM, CAMMY!! LET’S PUT THIS AWAY AND GO HOME!!

DT: Cruise turning to the center of the ring to—wait, The First is FIGHTING IT!! Cruise can’t keep him controlled on his SHOULDER!! My God, how is The First still FIGHTING at this point?!

DM: Cruise is STRUGGLING!! I’m not sure he can keep him on his shoulder, but he’s still TRYING!! Wait, Cruise losing his balance and starting to teeter around in the ring… and The First is THRASHING AROUND like a fish out of water!

MN: Come on, Cammy! FINISH HIM!!

DT: It doesn’t seem to be THAT EASY!! Cruise, wavering recklessly around the ring, while The First struggles to free himself! OH NO!! The First’s leg just clipped David Rosenkrantz in the FACE!!

DM: Oh damn, is the REF OUT?!

DT: It doesn’t appear so, Dean… but Rosenkrantz DOES seem temporarily blinded! That kicked knocked his GLASSES off!! The ref, searching the ring for his glasses, but the struggle continues! Now Cruise THROWS The First off his shoulder! Here comes The First off the mat… and he meets a SUPERKICK FROM CAMERON CRUISE!! GOOD GOD, that blasted him CLEAR INTO THE CORNER!!

DM: Might have busted his JAW open! But here comes Cruise looking PISSED—

POISON MIST!!!

Crowd: *POP!!!*

OH MAN, CAMERON CRUISE JUST TOOK A FACEFUL OF THAT GREEN MIST!!! THE FIRST DID IT WHILE THE REFEREE COULDN’T SEE IT!!

MN: WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT ABOUT?! HOW DID HE DO THAT!?

DT: Cameron Cruise RUBBING HIS EYES while SCREAMING IN PAIN!! Here comes The First back to his feet… grabs him by the shoulders—BACKSTABBER!! BACKSTABBER OUT OF NOWHERE!!

Crowd: *POP!!!*

DM: MORE LIKE A SOULBREAKER!!! THAT JUST DESTROYED CAMERON CRUISE, AND NOW THE FIRST HAS THE OPPORTUNITY TO WIN! ALL HE HAS TO DO IS MAKE THE COVER!!

MN: This is a ******* CRIME!!!

DT: PIN HIM, FIRST!! PIN HIM!!!

DM: The First, calling to Rosenkrantz! He can’t see, but that doesn’t prevent him from slapping his HAND on the mat!!

DT: YES, THE FIRST HAS HIM PINNED!! COME ON, REF, COUNT IT!!!





ONE!!!!







TWO!!!!!







TTTHHRREEEEEE—!!!!!

DM: CRUISE GOT THE SHOULDER UP!!!

Crowd: *AAAAAWWwwwww…*

DT: F*CK NO!!!

MN: WHOA, watch the LANGUAGE there, Dave!!

DT: He was just HALF A SECOND too late, and now the champion keeps this match going!! I don’t know HOW Cameron Cruise could come back from that one, but now with both the champion AND the referee temporarily blinded in the ring, how can The First fail at THIS point?!

MN: That cheap bastard! I can’t believe you guys give him all the PRAISE in the world for cheap moves like that!

DM: Cameron Cruise is hardly a saint, Mike… The First is back on his feet… BARELY ABLE TO STAND… but he’s ready to FINISH THIS!! Here he goes into the ropes… BOUNCES OFF WITH A LIONSAULT!! GOOD GOD, HE NAILED IT!!

Crowd: *POP!!*

DT: The First, ROLLS to his feet again… back to the ropes… OUT TO THE APRON… SPRINGBOARD LEGDROP!! MY GOD, HE JUST KEEPS COMING AND COMING!!

Crowd: *POP!!!*

MN: What is GOING ON HERE?!

DM: The First back up… climbs to the SECOND ROPE… AND AN ELBOW DROP ACROSS THE STERNUM OF CAMERON CRUISE leaves the champion ROLLING IN PAIN!! The First back on his feet, and he just UNLOADS for this capacity crowd!!

Crowd: *POP!!!*

DT: The First, CALLING OVER the referee who STILL can’t see the action! Here’s The First, WITH THE COVER!!! THIS IS IT!!!




ONE!!!




TWO!!!!







WE HAVE A NEW—OH MY GOD, CRUISE MANAGED TO KICK OUT!! I CAN’T BELIEVE IT, BUT HE KICKED OUT AGAIN!!!

Crowd: *AAAAAWWwwwww…*

DM: My God, how much more can Cameron Cruise TAKE at this point!?

DT: You might find the answer to that soon enough, Dean… The First is back on his feet, and he points to THE TOP ROPE!!

Crowd: *FIRST!! FIRST!! FIRST!! FIRST!! FIRST!!*

DM: The First is GOING UP TO THE TOP!! Cruise is laid out and NOT MOVING, and The First KNOWS this is his moment to finish things off!!

MN: OH NO!! NO NO NO!! DO SOMETHING, CAMMY!!!

DT: He’s going for it!! He’s looking to CUT THE THREAD!!

…

…wait a second, somebody just hopped the barricade! It’s a MASKED MAN!! NO, WAIT—

OH GOD, NO!! HE JUST PUSHED THE FIRST OFF THE TOP ROPE!! THAT MASKED MAN JUST RUINED THE FIRST’S OPPORTUNITY TO FINISH THIS MATCH!!

DM: Who the hell IS this guy???

MN: I don’t know but HE JUST SCREWED THE FIRST!!

DT: WHO IS THIS??! And WHY did he attack THE FIRST?! The referee couldn’t see ANYTHING without his glasses… but now CRUISE is back up, pulling up the wounded First…

REALITY CHECK!! GOOD GOD, NO!!!

MN: OH YES!! YES YES YESSSS!!!!

DT: Cruise calls Rosenkrantz over to make the pin, but barely has the strength to DRAPE AN ARM over the chest of THE FIRST…








ONE!!!








TWO!!!!








THREE!!! MY GOD, WHAT INJUSTICE!! WHAT A SCREWJOB!! THE FIRST HAD THIS MATCH WON, AND THE INTERFERENCE OF THIS ........ THIS MASKED MAN........ RUINED HIS CHANCE TO PUT IT AWAY!!!

Crowd: *BOOOOOOO~~!!!!!*

[The bell tolls as garbage RAINS upon the ring! A visibly exhausted Cameron Cruise rolls off of The First as “Killing In The Name Of” hits the PA. The masked man hops in the ring and stares at Cruise as Tony Fatora hands the IC belt to Rosenkrantz and gets on the mic.]

TF: Ladies and gentlemen, here is your winner…

…and STILL EMPIRE PRO INTERCONTINENTAL CHAMPION…

CCCAAAAAAMMMMMEEERRROOOOOONNN CCCRRRRUUUIIIISSSSEEE!!!!!

[As his name is announced, the referee hands Cruise his title and tries to raise his arm in victory. Cruise YANKS his hand away and raises it on his own, wobbling slightly. The audience JEERS VEHEMENTLY!! On the mat, The First sits up rubbing his face, realizing what has just occurred.]

Crowd: *BOOOOOOO~~!!!!!*

DT: I’ve seen plenty of controversial finishes in the years I’ve sat behind this table, but THAT’S one that just leaves me STEAMED!! The First was CLEARLY on the verge of victory!

MN: Oh no he WASN’T, Dave! Cruise would have moved out of the way in either case!

DM: Then why did he need this masked man’s interference? Speaking of, where did he come from, and why is he in EMPIRE PRO?! Hell, I’m not even sure Cruise knows what’s going on here!!

[Almost immediately, Cruise is joined by the remainder of the Anthology, who begin celebrating with Cruise over his successful title defense. The First, clearly ENRAGED, rushes the group but is overwhelmed by numbers and tossed unceremoniously to the floor.]

DT: So is this guy with the Anthology or what??? He’s just standing there!

DM: You gotta hand Cruise one thing… he knows how to walk into a match with a secret weapon! What a way to make an entrance into Empire Pro for this newcomer, whoever he is!

MN: It won’t be long before they have ALL the belts!

DT: I don’t know about THAT… what I DO know is that the challenger in this match beat Cameron Cruise from PILLAR TO POST… and I’m sure without the interference of this guy, we would be looking at a NEW Intercontinental Champion here tonight!

MN: Clearly, Dave, you’re just a little SORE that your little high-flying wonder didn’t DELIVER tonight!

DM: Cruise screwed him out of his Tag Team Title, and now screwed him out of the IC strap! I don’t care HOW many people are in the Anthology… sooner or later, The First is going to find VENGEANCE for this!

DT: Wait, hold on just a second……

[The masked man lowers his head and slowly reaches up for his mask as the camera shot now focuses only on him. As he does, a clip of the words "Get ready" plays over the system and the video monitor goes black.]

[Familiar letters and numbers appear in computer-generated stone, one after the other: "BSC. TTCCP. D1. SPG."]

MN: Oh no, NOT AGAIN!!! Enough with the blackouts and on-screen puzzles!!!

[The letters "SPG" then shrink and drift apart, and more letters appear between them to form "Smartest Player in the Game." The stone letters then crumble away and are replaced by, in big white letters, "COPYCAT." In the ring, the masked man has removed his ski mask to reveal Copycat, now looking fitter and with longer hair than when last seen in a wrestling ring years ago]

[The crowd blows a gasket.]

DM: My God in heaven…..

JARED WELLS: Fifteen years of been there and done that. History sometimes is a mind f[BLEEP]ked experiment created by careful planning by one superpower. Just so happens the EPW and the rest of the world live in a materialist haven. For years people have come up to me asking me who was my greatest opponent of all time? Who? Even Daddy's fans who are careless girls, usually blonde, double D's and all ask who was my greatest opponent was. I tell the ladies, Octomom because lord knows a single unemployed welfare grabbing b[BLEEP]ch, with a mother of fourteen would love to jump on the back account of daddy and dry hump it into submission.

BUT! But when it comes to your stereotypical wrestling mark......THEY KNOW! In my career my greatest opponent EVER..........it was Copycat. This isn't bought and paid over night people. This was something in the making years ago and it's all your fault. Fifteen years and beyond that, things are about to finally make sense. It's time we run the business the way we left it...........one pin at a time, one voodoo doll at a time, one for each of your sins. Daddy doesn't forgive any of you or forget.......

[Hands the mic over to Copycat with a hug]

Copycat: People of Baltimore, LEND ME YOUR EARS!

[That will probably pop the crowd, if only because they haven’t seen Copycat in years; the booing will come later]

Copycat: You know, just a few months ago, I was seriously considering not returning to the ring. As I’m sure all of you knows very, very well, my acting career has been met with great success. And where some men must continually step back in the ring after their so-called retirements because they don’t know how to do anything else, I’m in a comfortable, comfortable position. The interviewers kept asking about wrestling when I wanted to talk about acting, so I made an innocuous comment in one interview about wrestling being "a young man’s game." I didn’t think anyone would notice. But someone did.

[Copycat points over to Wells]

Copycat: There’ve been times in my life when I wouldn’t have answered a call from Jared Wells, but I was in a good mood that day and made an exception. Wells was calling me about what I told that writer. He asked me if I really thought wrestling was a young man’s game. He asked me how long it had been since I’d watched one of the major promotions on TV, really paid attention to what was going on instead of listening to the TV in the other room while I played Minesweeper on the computer or something. He told me to take a look at Empire Pro Wrestling, to catch up on the last few shows, and to call him back when I was done and tell him if I really still thought it was a young man’s game. So I went onto EPW’s Web site, watched a few matches and promos, set my DVR to record the next few episodes of Aggression.

[Copycat looks down at the mat]

Copycat: It broke my heart.

[Copycat looks up at the crowd again]

Copycat: This is what the business has been reduced to? These are the competitors standing atop the mountain that I helped build, the business that was taken to the next level in the 1990s and early 2000s by guys like me, like Hellion, like Jean Rabesque, like Joe Massacre, like Maelstrom, like King Krusher? Like Jared Wells, Shawn Hart, Larry Tact, Cameron Cruise? These are almost all men I’ve fought at one time, and even if there were times when I didn’t get along with them, I understood then and I understood now the significance of what they did. They sacrificed their bodies and their minds not only for their careers, but for this business. They wanted to be sure that no matter what impact they made, the wrestling business would carry on for many years after they were gone. No matter what you think of a man’s in-ring abilities, you can respect him when he has a love for the business that goes beyond his love for himself.

[He shakes his head sadly]

Copycat: But instead, you have guys like Rocko Daymon, who feel the need to turn everything into a quasi-clever monologue straight out of a modern-day Bill Murray movie. You have guys like JA, who’ve gotten so complacent that they’re not even trying anymore. You have guys like Sean Stevens, who’ve made it absolutely clear that they’re just in it to grab all the fame and fortune they can and are willing to bail out as soon as they’ve done good by themselves. You have nihilistic throwbacks to some of wrestling’s darkest periods, like the First. You have guys who sit back and throw the same tired insults we’ve been hearing for years, like Frankie Scott. You have a legend in Doc Silver returning to the ring to sob about how his wife left him. You have Felix Red pulling his "look at all the drugs I’m on!" act like it’s never gone out of style. You have Anarky still clinging hopelessly to the business he stopped giving a damn about years ago,
desperately looking for that one last perfect run that he knows will never come. You’ve got more emo crybabies and sixth-grade playground bullies than I like to think about.

[Copycat’s voice rises in anger]

Copycat: And THIS is what it’s all become since I made the mistake of ignoring the developments in this business. For that, I am sorry. But before I even called Jared Wells back, I knew there was hope. I knew there was a shining light still left in EPW, the beginnings of what could be a last-ditch effort to save this industry from itself.

[He gestures to the other men in the ring with him]

Copycat: These men you see before you now are men who are no longer in business for themselves. They’re in business for the business. These men are the cure for the sickness that has overtaken this industry. And though you fans boo them today, you’ll thank them later. The heroes you worship now will only destroy what you love. It’s the villains in this who will write the chapters that lead to a happy ending. For my last few years in the ring before I went into acting full-time, I told myself that I wouldn’t turn against the wishes of the fans. I told myself that I wouldn’t join forces with a faction of people as long as I was perfectly capable of doing what needed to be done on my own. But right now, I need all the help I can get to turn this thing around before it gets beyond the point of recovery. These men will help me achieve that goal. There’s only one hope for patching the holes in this business that will soon grow into abysses too
large to fix – and that hope is the Anthology.

[Copycat rips open the black T-shirt he’s wearing to reveal an Anthology T-shirt beneath it. The crowd, if it wasn’t fully behind booing him before, is surely doing it now]

Copycat: And that, my friends, is just all there is to it.

[Copycat throws down the microphone and raises his hands with the rest of the Anthology, celebrating their united front]

[He was right. The boos clearly out-do the cheers now.]

DM: Just what we need, more saviors. Answer your questions, Dave?