Jim: ...yawn... so…What… the hell’d I…miss?
Bertram: Hey, how was your nap? Did you enjoy sleeping through half the damn show?
Peter: Leave the poor boob alone, he just woke up.
Bertram: No.
Peter: Fine, Well folks it’s that time in the show….where we give a nice little rundown of All the things we’ve seen tonight.
Bertram: Normally Jim would help but the only thing he’s seen has been fuzzy pink unicorns, and airport security.
Jim: Hey I saw….something.
Bertram: Yea, dreams.
Peter: …Ugh *shaking his head* …Well the show started off with a bit of a moment, taken by our first Heavyweight champion since we have been known as Anarchy Wrestling.…That moment was utterly destroyed with the challenge laid down by Jason Lovell.
Bertram: Really it was expected. It wasn’t like we all didn’t know somebody was gonna come waltzing out and throw their name in the proverbial hat. That belt is one of five targets in AW. I’ll admit though I expected to see Vinny Vegas out here, before the owner of XWU.
Jim: Hey I remember that!
Peter: We then watched as Morrigan chased Lovell through the back of the arena and into the parking lot where Jason Lovell and his “Systematic Syndicate” ambushed and beat down our heavyweight champion, spoiling his night, and no doubt leaving a sour taste in his mouth.
Bertram: Yea the sour taste of his own blood. That’s okay though according to my sources Morrigan has been signed into a match next with ‘someone’ from the syndicate…We don’t know who yet.
Jim: What if it’s Lovell himself?
Bertram: It could be, but it’s not a title match, so I wouldn’t expect it.
Jim: So what happened after that?
Peter: Well while that was going on James Caine and Kansas Dark had actually began fighting backstage, and brawled their way to the ring, where they went back and forth.
Bertram: And then Kansas beat the veteran fair and square.
Peter: That is true, but the vicious attack after the match on Kansas by Caine is what shocked me the most about this match.
Bertram: It shouldn’t… you know him better than anyone. The man is a psycho.
Jim: Great get the fuck on with it…
Peter: Why are you in such a hurry Jimbo?
Bertram: He’s probably got a beer waiting for him at home.
Jim: YUP! And I wanna get to this handicap match and the fuck outta here…Not to mention I’m sick of hearing you two.
Bertram: Well Round Two of the North American tournament has been set in stone as Jeff Jackson will take on Vinny Vegas.
Peter: And the Mighty Voovoo, tried to back out of his match with Breeze, claiming he was still injured from the Sadistic glass match at Noitcerusser I. He even offered to allow Breeze to take the first win in the series, but Breeze declined-
Bertram: And earned the victory the right way…By putting his foot, where Voovoo’s mouth was.
Jim: And that brings us back to the here and the now.
Peter: More or less with a sober you.
Jim: Who said I was sober?

PA System:
Penetrate; penetrate all the simple minds… They adore, what a bore, how they stand in line.

{Suriel N. Crowlie steps onto the rampway, to a surge of jeers from the crowd and heads down to the ring, as the song switches out.}

PA System:
KILLING IN THE NAME OF!

{Hardcore Jono steps onto the rampway, and for some reason gets a decent pop from the crowd. He continues to the ring, and grabs a mic.}

Peter: Uh oh…Baldy’s gonna speak.
Bertram: I don’t think it counts as bald if you shave it.
Jim: …Aren’t you like…supposed to be smart?

:Hardcore Jono:
So much for Alexander Caine’s promise of competition this week. Hell one of em we didn’t even have to touch to take out.

:Suriel Night Crowlie:
*Grabs the mic* the other one however…well he was a little more to handle, but we eventually put him…like the song of the same name…Down, and Out….

Peter: What the hell?
Bertram: He just said they took the fight to the competition before the competition could even make it to the fight!
:Hardcore Jono:
That’s right, so according to AW rules….we win by default so somebody get out here, and award us our titles.

Jim: This is just insane…
Peter: That’s three weeks in a row these two men have Decimated their opponents before they could even get to the ring. Starting with The Kernal’s Klan, and moving all the way to Eradication.
Bertram: Sounds like eradication, has been Eradicated.
:Suriel Night Crowlie:
We’re not gonna wait all damn night…no pun intended…So get out here with our belts…Come on Caine….

PA System:
Welcome to the Show….Please come inside…..GO!

{Saliva’s Ladies and Gentlemen rumbles through the PA system, as Jon Tees approaches the ring area carrying a briefcase.}

Peter: I don’t believe this. They are really gonna just give away the titles like that?
Bertram: Well why not what have these two men done better the past weeks outside of cause Chaos?

{Tees gets in the ring, as the music fades and takes a mic.}

:Jon Tees:
Well Well Well boys… This is fantastic… You two have proven…Without a shadow of a doubt that there is indeed no one in this company more chaotic than the two of you. Indeed, I am proud to award the two of you-

PA System:
TEN THOUSAND FISTS IN THE AIIIIIIIR!!!!!!

Bertram: What the hell?
Peter: That’s Jeff Jackson…He has no reason to be out here right now..

{Jackson has a microphone and he signals for the music cut off.}

:Jeff Jackson:
I disagree, you can’t say Chaos without thinking about hardcore…and there’s nobody more hardcore than your hardcore hero…And to prove it…. I say I take Raze’s place in the handicap match…

Jim: What?

{Jackson starts walking to the ring}

:Jackson:
You two want some competition, well then I’ll give it to you….

Peter: He’s gone bonkers….that win went t his head!
Bertram: I think Assassin might’ve hit him with a couple shots too good.

PA System:
YOW……Tailored suits…Chauffeured cars…Fine Hotels, and Big cigars…

{Alex Caine steps onto the stage with a mic and a large man standing behind him.}

:Alexander Caine:
This is ANARCHY!!!

{Huge Crowd Pop}

:Alexander:
The Chaos Theory…Anything can happen at any time because of any one thing….Murphy’s law…Whatever can go wrong… will. … This is Anarchy…..NO RULES!....

{Another pop}

:Tees:
You getting somewhere Caine?

:Alexander:
Indeed I am Jon. I told you I’d have you two opponents. They’re not who I wanted, but they’ll do fine…You see, Jeff there has already spoken, and was a witness to what those to did to Raze backstage… I won’t show the security footage, because I think it’s a little too graphic…even for our audience…

{Crowd boos}

:Alexander:
But This man here, *points behind him* Matt Ward came into my office about the same time asking for a match shortly after…Now I wasn’t gonna book him until next week, but seeing as Jeff is short a partner for a TEAM MATCH….Two and Two equals Four….

Jim: *does the math*….He’s right.
Bertram: wow.

{Jackson has stopped and is looking at Ward, and Caine when suddenly Night attacks Jono, and Matt Ward grabs Alex Caine frombehind in a reverse DDT position before rolling him into a cutter on the steel entry way. Jackson is about to take off running back towards ward, while in the ring, Jono takes the same move.}

Bertram: Matt Ward just did his own version of the Nightcap on ALEX CAINE!
Peter: While Hardcore Jono took a Nightcap from his partner!
Jim: WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON!

{Jeff Jackson makes it to Matt Ward and the two begin brawling. Jackson soon finds himself on the receiving end of Ward’s hard punches and is being hammered down the rampway, while in the ring Suriel is stomping on the downed Jono. Jackson gets a stiff shot in, but Ward comes right back with a shot of his own and then bounces Jackson’s face off the apron. The London Bulldog rolls the Hardcore hero into the ring.}

(*DING*DING*DING*)

Peter: Well there’s the bell, but who’s fighting who?

{Jon Tees stands aside in a corner as Ward and Night humiliate Jackson and Jono. Taking turns with power and team moves.}

Bertram: I think it’s pretty obvious don’t you?
Jim: Jackson and Jono are being decimated by Crowlie and Ward…
Bertram: Hey Jim’s smarter than Pete!
Peter: Oh yea, real smart, I'll you two even realized this was a set-up.

{Jono is still conscious and looks to Tees in the corner, he reaches a hand towards Tees who just shakes his head, before Night comes off the top turnbuckle with an elbow drop. Night rolls Jono over and covers him. Jon Tees drops into place for the count……….1……….2……….3!}

(*DING*DING*DING*)

Peter: This may go down in history as AW’s shortest match ever.
Bertram: That may be but damn, was it entertaining. Tees is brilliant.
Jim: Wait, there’s more history here.
Peter: He’s right Night has lasted the show without a single challenge to his-

:Tees:
I told you before the show I had a surprise for you Alex… In case you haven’t put two and two together… A superstar came into my office looking for a pair of dependable…..dark hearted, badasses… This is who I brought him… and this wasn’t their first dirty deed tonight……. But that will be revealed another time… Right now…

{Tees picks up the briefcase, and opens it to reveal the Chaos Theory championships. He takes them out and hands one to Ward, and one to Night.}

Peter: This was all a big setup by Tees!
Bertram: That doesn’t surprise me…
Jim: The shadow!!!
Bertram:What are you going on about now alky?

PA System:
Say I got trouble, trouble in my eyes… I'm just looking for Another good time. My heart, my heart, Kickstart my heart

Bertram: What the hell does this monster want now?

{TDS sprints to the ring in street clothes carrying a monkey wrench, and clocks Tees, Ward, and then Night with the wrench. Tees starts to get up and TDS cracks him again with the wrench, before seeing Ward do the same. TDS turns and cracks Ward with the Wrench twice, as Night reaches his feet, blood dripping from his forehead. The Diablo Slayer sees Night and turns to him. Pointing a finger and motioning around his waist.}

Peter: I’d say it looks like he’s going after the bounty on that Iron Man title!
Jim: Well he was smart about it and brought an equalizer!
Bertram: What the hell is Alex Caine doing?

{Alex Caine has made it to his feet, and is moving to the ring as TDS moves slowly towards Night who begins backing into a corner and drops to his knees. As TDS gets close enough to grab Night by the hair, Night throws a nut punch, but TDS grabs his hand, and wrenches it behind his head. The Diablo Slayer then slams his left hand into the ribs of Night and Covers as Alex Caine slides in and counts the pinfall ………1 ………2 ………3!}

(*DING*DING*DING*)

Bertram: We have a new Iron Man Champion!
Peter: In a matter of moments we have rewritten history books in multiple ways!
Jim: Hey…This is where the action is!

{TDS gets up and kicks Night in the head with a straight shot, then looks for his new title. He sees Matt Ward trying to get up, and grabs him. Ward suddenly from nowhere shoves TDS back and as TDS rolls back to his feet, Ward spears him into the ground. Ward stands TDS up and tucks his head between his legs. The Diablo Slayer suddenly back body drops ward into the turnbuckle, and turns around to see him on the ground. The slayer grabs Ward and picks him up for a suplex. TDS holds Ward up a moment, before turning the suplex into a piledriver.}

Bertram: Diablo’s Nightmare on Matt Ward!
Jim: He didn’t deserve that.
Peter: After what those two just did to Jono and Night he deserves whatever beating he gets.
Bertram: Join us next time!
Peter: Because we’re out of time tonight!

{The show ends with the AW disclaimer in the upper right hand of the screen as TDS picks up Night’s Iron Man title and raises it into the air as he backs up the ramp. The Camera cuts to shots of Ward, Tees, and Night in the ring looking at him angrily, as Jono and Jackson lay unconscious.}