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[Where did James Caine go?]
James slammed the door of the apartment, and stepped out onto the balcony. His brain was playing all kinds of tricks on him, like it did most every day.
'God, do you ever shut up?'
"Why don't you?"
'Because I'm not the one who thinks his nut sack is a purse.'
"...What?"
'Yea, you ain't gonna find any mascara down there bud.'
"I'm amazed I still haven't put a bullet in my forehead."
'I would be too, if I didn't know my dick was taped inside my thigh.'
"I gotta stop talking to Evan Michaels."
'Why I like the guy. He's smart...I digress, can we go back in there so I can shut that ape up?'
"No, let him say his peace, without it we won't even matter."
'So what are we gonna do? Stand out here thumb up our ass.'
"Actually I was thinking of getting a pizza."
'....That does sound good. I'm in.'
Caine turns and heads down the stairs and gets into his car and heads off to the nearest open pizza place, which happens to be a Hungry Howie's, which is convenient seeing as it's his favorite. Caine parks his car and opens his door relishing in the scent of garlic and cheese he loved so much.
"God it's like a fresh bag of grass."
'I hope we're thinking the same grass.'
James opens the glass door and is met with more intoxicating scents. The sounds of metal pans banging came from the back as a nineteen year old college student mopped behind the counter. James approached it and the girl just looked and James before breathing really heavily.
"Oh my god..."
'Oh my god...'
"Umm...Can I get a pie?"
'Not until this bitch gets my name on her tit.'
"You're James Caine...The wrestler. Wow."She says from beneath her yellow visor.
'heh.'
"umm...Yea...can I get a pie?"James says seemingly obvlious to the world.
'....You're Gay.'
"I like, have four of your t-shirts, and a stuffed doll, and you're just so amazingly hot...."The brunette prattles on endlessly while James tunes her out.
'Yea right enuff bitch I know...I've heard it...now just show me that tit so we can sign it!'
"Do you think I could maybe get your picture...and and an autograph!" The girl says begining to get excited.
James left hand pull out a sharpie markie from his back pocket and is trying to get the right hand to take the pen, but the right hand doesn't move.
"Look...If I do this...Can I get a pie?"
'WHAT THE HELL MAN! WHERE'S THE ENTHUSIASM?!?'
"Of course, of course," the brunette says and James hand takes the sharpie. James motions for her to come around the front of the counter.
'Alright now tell her to take her shirt off for the pic because she wouldn't want a photo next to you in her work shirt, and you'll give her yours...'
"Do you have a napkin?"
"Oh sure," the girl says grabbing one from next to the register where James couldn't see. James reaches down and signs his name on the napkin and personalizes it out to her, who happened to have been named Jill.
'What the fuck did you just do? We could be seeing tit right now! Are you an idiot?'
James grabs Jill's shoulders and pulls her in with a smile. Jill takes out her razor and takes a picture of the two of them smiling. "Da rein mon cher, now how about that Pizza?"
'You.....are ......fucking.....GAY!!!!'
James orders his pizza and leaves the building. Getting into his car he sets the pie on the passenger seat he puts the car in reverse, but doesn't remove his foot from the brake. He keeps the tires spinning as the engine purrs for a moment and he loses himself in its beautiful sound, before releasing the brake and squealing back towards his apartment.
"No...I'm just really fucken stoned."
'....God damn you. So what's next?'
"Well" James starts as he grabs a slice of the hot tempting pie. "After I eat this...I'm gonna go home, kick Trent out, fuck my new girl, Smoke a couple joints, pass out, wake up...and reclaim the two things that are mine in OWF."
'And what might those be?'
"Pool of Blood championship...and the Public Display of Aggression title."
'Okay the first one I get, but the second?'
"That was the first thing I did when I came to OWF...now they're gonna retire that belt....again......and I have a hunch it's my belt they're using to... I want it back."
'Sounds like you got a plan stan.'
"I do, but it's not like I need it all that much, seeing as I'm just that much better"
'No you're that far fucking gone. In all sense of the word ~gone~ right now.'
"Meh, I'd say I'm just a little Unsane."
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