You know something? I sit here…talking about coming back…talking about Centurion versus Rizza round two…talking about how Grappling Gary reminds me of Gary the Retard from the Howard Stern show….talking about my comeback into this place….talking about why I did what I did…trying to tell you people what I did was right…trying to tell you people that I am not going to settle for just any place on the roster…trying to tell you people that, quite honestly, you are going to be looking at one of top guys in the X-Treme Wrestling Federation. Hell, you look at it…I left as the top guy…and I am going to kick things off….as the top guy in the X-Treme Wrestling Federation. But, look, that’s not the reason I am talking to you today. I totally forgot! The damn thing skipped my mind. I can not believe that I forgot what happened ever since you saw me for the first time in the X-Treme Wrestling Federation. Ladies and gentlemen, if my mind is correct…and it normally is on these situations…is it me…or am I undefeated in Rage in the Cage? I mean, yes…they are mostly X-Treme title matches…but that is not the point. The point is, ladies and gentlemen, I am purely satisfied confined in that steel structure. I am really calm when it comes to Rage in the Cage, when that September date comes around and me looking at that towering structure every man, woman, and Kid looked at one point in his life.

A cage…where lions are kept…where animals are inside for people on the outside could see. A cage…a cold hearted contraption that, when you think about it, will get to every man, woman, and child in a bad way. A contraption that, when not used properly, could kill a man. A contraption that I smile at when I see…not only because I know I have a nice little streak, ever since the X-Treme Wrestling Federation came back, I have dominated…..DOMINATED the likes of Tony Capretti, Helmut Blok, and Victor Gillean….

….YES, THAT VICTOR GILLEAN!

But, Rage in the Cage has been good to me. Not because I felt like a genius facing people I know I can beat…in, well, matches that I am an Icon at. But because they thought the same way Grappling Gary thought, that’s why. They thought that they were going to knock me off the damn pedestal, take me off the top of the X-Treme division and make a name for themselves to become the big man on campus. But, as you saw, Helmut Blok…Tony Capretti…and Victor Gillean…

….YES, THAT VICTOR GILLEAN!

As you saw, those three men FAILED to do so. In fact, Tony Capretti…Helmut Blok….and, yes, THE Victor Gillean are no where to be found in the X-Treme Wrestling Federation. The X-Treme championship was their bread and butter, like it is to me. But the difference between me and them are…I MADE THE X-TREME CHAMPIONSHIP MINE! They wanted the X-Treme championship named for them. They forget, though, that the man that has the title…is, well, bigger…..is better….is faster….is stronger…is more energetic…is more dangerous…is more loveable….and, most of all, is more sexy then the three of them combined. That’s why I won those times….and that’s why I am the only name people think of when you hear the name “X-Treme Championship” EVEN IF I DON’T OBTAIN THE X-TREME CHAMPIONSHIP! They all think about me being the champion..

..But this week is different. This week, the Rage in the Cage doesn’t have me in the X-Treme title match. Rage in the Cage does not have me as the X-Treme champion. Rage in the Cage does, however, have me in some sort of match. Rage in the Cage, however, does have me going one on one…..on one….for a title, even if it is for a half of it. The X-Treme Wrestling Federation needs me in this match just so they can have me inside the cage.

Hell, I know a million of people who want me inside the cage for twenty minutes…hell, for ten minutes…hell, for FIVE minutes. And two people are going to get that chance. Two people that are on total different perspectives….one’s an icon…one’s not even close. One has been here for a long, long time…I think longer the two of us combined…..AND I HAVE BEEN HERE FOR A LOOOOONG TIME. And, like I said before….Grappling Gary’s a little bit more then a rookie, even though you haven’t heard about him….until right now. This is a new step, this is like the first test that I have had in the X-Treme Wrestling Federation when it came to Rage in the Cage, since 2005.

I am not downing the three men that I have mentioned, hell…they are probably downed already in knowing that they are not going to be back up in the X-Treme Wrestling Federation. They are probably drowning in their sorrows without me helping them. Hell, has anyone heard of Tony Capretti, who isn’t a old timer like myself? That is what I thought, I got to say.

But you know something? Maybe my brain was telling me something. I mean, I totally forgot that there was a streak going in that sense. No losses…no ties…I have been winning in September ever since the X-Treme Wrestling Federation came back into business…every time September comes around…I get the hitch in my giddy up. I get in that mode that doesn’t stop. I get in the zone, baby, and it is pretty damn hard to get me out of the damn zone.

September is that month that everything comes together, for me. I don’t want September to end. Fuck what Green Day says…September is my time, baby. But, like I said, I have only faced lower tier guys. This time, I got a legend on the card. This time, I don’t have Tony Capretti….or the “legend” that was Victor Gillean, yes…the legend Victor Gillean. I have a legend to worry about. Centurion, you are my test…you are the first test that I had in September. You are THE test that stands before me.

I have nothing bad to say about you, Centurion….Andy. You are, without a shadow of a doubt, a stand out guy. You are that man that people emulate, that people want to be like. You are….THE guy. I have no qualls with you, Centurion, and I know, deep down in the pit of your stomach, you have any qualls for me. Yeah, I know I told you time and time again that you got your ass kicked at Last Breath and I just ended your career, or so I thought. Yeah, I told you that I was going to be a better champion then you would be. Yeah, I told you that I have done more then you have…won more titles…won more major matches…been a better wrestler…had better fans…had more title opportunities…and more titles then you have had in your long history in this business. But I am not trying to make you feel bad, Centurion. Those are just….

…..FACTS!

That’s all they are. The facts all point to, as well, that I am…bar none…better then you have been throughout your entire career here in the X-Treme Wrestling Federation. I have not been in the X-Treme Wrestling Federation longer then you have though, and yet…I have done more then you have. I have been to the top of the mountain. I have seen what goes on in this business and, sorry to break the news, I…just like you…had a person want to base a group around me….a little more on that later. Yeah, I am flattered…but, trust me, none of them were a young star in the rise. None of them did I see me. None of the people in that damn group was a pure mirror image of….me. Centurion, you had it easy. I mean, you had a talented group of kids in there…you had the World champion in the making and two girls that could kick half of the guys on this roster….not saying those two can kick my ass…but you get the point.

The point is, Cent, you backed into this situation. You have a legacy to fulfill and what better way to support, not elevate, your legacy then join three great young talent that does not need any help to get better, Cent. You backed into this thing knowing that you can just sit there…put your legs up…and relax while people like James Raven does all the hard stuff for you…you don’t have to work too hard to do anything in that stable, man. That’s the life, if you ask me, of a couch potato. Having someone else do your work for you…having people around you work for you…while you sit on your ass, eating Cheetos, and maybe get up to make an appearance here and now, like winning a tag title FOR A WEEK. But you won’t have to worry, Andrew. You won’t have to deal with getting up off that chair…coming out to the ring…and doing all of that other stuff you were doing before you thought it would be nice to go out and make one final appearance.

Centurion, I have beaten you before. You know that…I know that…and all of the fans know that, if they didn’t….this week was a little refresher for them. But I have a feeling…when it is all said and done…we are going to tear down those walls, even if Gary is in this match. But when it’s all said and done, Mr. Cortie….I will be the one watching with very keen eyes on the other triple threat match…because I WILL be your new tag team champion and I WILL be the one that holds this belt longer then a week, as many of your predecessors did during the month of September. I will be the fighting champion, no matter who my partner is…whether it is your girl, whether it is the chainsaw machine that is Trent Gein, and even if…in some miracle…it is Q.C. Thug. Because whomever it is…will get the opportunity to team with REAL greatness…someone who wants to go out there and perform every day…someone like…me.

This is Zach Rizza…and I approve this message.

…

Now, I don’t even know why I am even talking about this guy…I don’t even know what this guy wants to do when he gets into the ring. Hell, this guy is getting the treatment that I give people who I know can not stand in the same arena as me. Grappling Gary, I know I just broke the “this guy” rule…so sue me…it’s my friggin’ rule…but Gary, I am glad you wound up showing to this thing. I am really glad that you are putting the effort…the undoubtedly effort to try your damndest to get your two sense in this matter. And, you know something? No one cares, Gary. Honestly, you think anyone picked you? You think anyone thinks that you have a chance? That you have a glimmer, a shimmer, dim of hope? You think that you are worthy of beating one of us, let alone two of us? Do you honestly think that people, like me, and people, like Centurion, are going to get beat by people, like you, on a regular basis?

The answer, Gare, is no. No one thinks you are going to beat us. I don’t think you are going to beat us. Hell, I beat the referee won’t feel like you have a chance and just make it seem like you are fighting to stay in this damn thing. He’ll push your arm up…He’ll slide your foot or extremity to the rope…He’ll probably even bring the rope closer. But it will not matter at all. You know that? I know it won’t matter because of the simple fact that…I am in this match.

Plus, I also see that you are in a stable…as well as Centurion. There are two young guys that I see in that stable. I heard, as well, you are looking for that third man…that vet…that….sucker. I would not EVER be in that stable. I would NEVER find myself teaming up with you, Gary, and you want to know why? You want to know why I am not going to be that “mentor” figure like Centurion is for his group? It is because you are beyond help-able. It is because you, as well as your other partner, will drag my legacy down with the two of you. Asking me how to do this and how to do that just so that you can get your ass off of Impact. Hell, that’s another reason why I won’t do it. If I do it..you, Gary, will be put on to MY show and you would get beat week after week. You, Gary, are not that type that needs to get wrestling help…you, Gary, need to learn on your own…and learn that…you can’t be like the big dogs…you can’t be like me…you can’t be like Centurion…you can’t be like the superstars of the X-Treme Wrestling Federation brand.

So, Gary…be proud that you are on Impact…a show that you could, possibly, do well on…because if you get to Anarchy…you won’t amount to JACK SHIT!

So, as the time ticks down…as the ring is being set…as the people are starting to lose sleep over the X-Treme Wrestling Federation pay-per-view is coming to Houston, baby. But when everything gets locked up…all the matches are settled…the cage is taken down…the bars get hosed off…the destinations are finalized, pun intended,…and the crowd leaves in droves with a smile on their faces…all they are going to need to know…all they are going to be able to say…is

…Rizza….

….Rizza…

…..RIZZA!

---===We Will Be Right Back===--- ---===Welcome BACK to the Big Tyme===--- ---===No Smoking, please.===--- My head is starting to spin…around and around. That my stomach is spinning around in the opposite way. I don’t know where I am or what I am doing now. My brain is down in my feet…my body is filled with cement as the whole area of the clouds and lights and all of that are spinning around like a top. My head is feeling light. This dream is freaking me out, though. I can’t really figure out, though, how the hell it can happen. Am I alive? Am I dead? Was I dead for a while? What is going on here? Who am I? Where am I? Am I even alive when I am thinking this? Where was I when I saw that ghost?

I then noticed that I look at my feet…my feet are not moving…but the entire scenery is moving…from top to bottom…everything seems to be spinning and moving around and other different directions that I thought never existed. The wind picks up…as I start feeling something in my stomach…something that feels so weird…

…but then I, also, hear two voices in the distance. A female’s voice…and a kid’s voice…all I hear is the kid bugging his mom “Momma! Momma! Momma! Momma!” over and over again. Then I hear, more clearly, the woman in that area. It’s Mia. That’s the first familiar voice I hear…then the kid must be…….EDDIE!

I sit up…open my eyes to find myself in the hospital…Mia looks at me…I look at her…Eddie runs over to me and gives me a hug. I look at Mia…the “get the kid away from me…I am ready to….

RIZZA: BWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

Motion sickness, that is what I had when I was dreaming. I get it all over the shirt of little Eddie, who is now crying in his mom’s arms. Mia rushes out of the room…

MIA: DOCTOR! DOCTOR! HE’S UP! HE’S UP!

The doctors and the nurses are grabbing me and taking things off of me and poke and probe me. Hell I don’t know what the hell is happening now. I am just better. I mean, I feel like I just had a pretty descent night sleep. It just seems…better….a lot better then it was before. Now, I see my girlfriend. Now, I see my kid…who is now talking. Now, I see..everything…that’s all I wanted. I just want to see everything there is to do here. There’s not a damn thing that I like more then …life itself.

RIZZA: Hunny, where are the guys at? Where’s Bruce? Where’s Randy?

MIA: Well..Bruce is out of town. He had to go somewhere. As for Randy…well…he’s laying down, somewhere. He’s…um…resting up. He had a busy day. There’s nothing wrong with him so there’s nothing to worry about…not one thing.

Something is wrong…she just seems too, um, jittery today to see me up and to see me talk about Randy. Something is up..but I am not going to say anything. I absolutely don’t want to know what the hell is going on here. I am just standing here…I am just glad that I am going forward with my life and that I can see my family…my friends…and my….

RIZZA: BWWWWWWWAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

My…um…lunch. But I am glad that I see this shit…I would rather see that then see six feet of dirt over my face…or a big ol’ casket closed down on me. I am glad to say that I am up and doing well. I am glad to say that I feel just too damn good. I should be dead right now…the boat nearly killed me…that ton of steel would have killed a regular man. That ton of steel that I was on…in that high of a distance…would have destroyed any other man that was there. But I am not going to sit here and say that I am THE man or a super hero or any of that shit…because that would be bull crap. I am just here…I am just…LUCKY…I am just….

RIZZA: BWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

Glad that I feel that puke go up my throat and not down my throat after it came up. I am just glad that everything is back to normal…that everything is going to be all right. That everything is going to be just fine and that I am going to be one of the few people that survived a drastic wreck…without suffering severe injuries…

I am just lucky, I guess.

RIZZA: BWAAAAAAAAH!

Yeah…I am one lucky man.