You know...I’ve heard everything that has been said by Jem Williams by other people in the past. I have heard that I’m “not good enough” and how I am going to get my ass kicked time and time again by people who are worse....and, actually, from people who are better then Jem Williams. I mean, I got called useless, worthless, anything with the suffix -less on the end of it...I have been called every name in the damn dictionary....I have been called things that I thought another man shouldn’t call another man in the heat of battle. Hell, this month I have been called a nobody so many times I don’t have enough fingers or toes to count. So Jem, I don’t feel those comments anymore. Those comments don’t affect me a bunch any more...

....but, Jem, what you were saying...time and time again last Thursday night....after you got beat about how I am flip flopping my way into this match...THAT, as you found out, got to me. That made me angry. That pissed me the fuck off. I guess the anger and frustrations that went on during the last few weeks got to me...hell, I think the anger and frustrations that went on, with the missing partners...people saying that I backed out...that I am worthless...that I suck...the attacks that were given to me by the Tribe and Black Order...all of that came out.

But, Jem...as you can see...I don’t need to rely on my peers in the Vigilantes. I don’t have a partner, anymore. I want this to be mano y mano. There’s no one here to break this little fun party we got goin’ in one week, Jem. There’s not going to be those guards, wrestlers, and other officials that saved your ass. Oh no! There’s not going to be anyone for that, Jem. You and me...and a steel fucking cage.

Jem, I may have just said “fuck it” and walked out one time, before, this month...but you can bet your bottom fuckin’ dollar that I am not going to sit on my ass and let, yet, ANOTHER Universal title shot go off into the night without me being in one. I think, without a shadow of a doubt, that I belong in the ring....in the main event....for that Universal title that you hold, right now. I think I deserve to be in the presence of the Legend-hood that is you, Jem Williams....just like I deserved to be in the Universal title picture against Bigg Rigg and, yes Jem...your favorite, Daniel Malcolm. And just like I deserved to be the Universal champion on my first time facing Brad Pierce, that little belligerent fuck tard, I deserve to be in this match with the legend that is Jem Williams.

Jem, last Thursday night....there was not going to be a “going away” for the hundredth time from this match. There’s not going to be ant “going away” party from here to Sunday night. There’s not going to be anything like what you thought that I was going to do. You are going to have a match at Leap of Faith. You are going to have, as much as you want to believe that I am not capable of bringing one to you, the match of your life. You, Jem Williams, want to think that you aren’t going to get a good match here at Leap of Faith. You, Jem Williams, think that you are not going to be challenged next Sunday night. You will be challenged as much as you were challenged by Aidan Collins when he was in this spot.

Yes, I know I am just that “replacement” guy that was just thrown in there at the last minute. I know that I am going into the lion’s den with two weeks notice about this. But I have done it before. I found myself in situations, like this, before. I am, I guess you can say, a vet at becoming the “go to guy” when someone, like an Aidan Collins, couldn’t take the heat of a Legend vs. Legend match that I, graciously, GAVE Aidan. I could have just said “fuck it” and stayed in this thing from the get-go. I could have said “You know what? No! I am taking my chance to shine!” But no, I was generous...I thought about it....and, there, I could just see “AIDAN COLLINS, Legend, VERSUS JEM WILLIAMS, Legend.” I didn’t want to ruin that match, if it was going to take place.

So imagine my shock when Aidan Collins left, two weeks ago. Imagine what I felt when I, personally, told Jon Brown to pull me from that match...a match that would have been PLATINUM to witness....a match that would have been one of the match of the year candidates, if not THE match of the year in the X-Treme Wrestling Federation. Imagine what I felt when Aidan Collins backed out on something that he, himself, wanted to do from the start of this month because he didn’t have “it” in him anymore. We could have not done this whole “Jem doesn’t have an opponent!” shtick if I were to stand my ground...if I were to not give Aidan Collins what Aidan Collins wanted.

Now, I am getting treated as a flip-flopper and a man who doesn’t know...what to do. And, also, I am getting treated like a “replacement guy” that doesn’t stand the shitter chance of coming out of the Leap of Faith your Universal champion. A championship that everyone who’s everyone has held. A belt that made legends legendary and that made people, who people think that I am, look like a total fool in thinking that he had any shot at winning. But, you see...I am not a flip-flopper...I am not going to be saying “I’m in” and then “I’m out” and then “I’m in” and then “I’m out.” That’s wrong. If I was in Jem’s shoes and someone did that to me, I would be pissed too. But, trust me, I am not going to be like that. I am not going to be like that.

What I did was supposed to help the X-Treme Wrestling Federation. What I did was to get fans what they wanted. I, sure as hell, knew that “Big Tyme” Zach Rizza wasn’t going to get treated right no matter what I did. I mean, if I stayed in the original plan, I would have had people who wanted a legend versus legend match....hunt me down and, pretty much, crucify my ass. If I did what I did and not come back into the picture this month, my fans would have deserted my ass and left to dry. So, you see, either way I was going to be “the bad guy” that came out of this match. I was going to be “that guy” that ruined it for people like Aidan Collins, who could probably challenge Jem Williams whenever the fuck he wanted, and I ruined it for the people like the fans of the X-treme Wrestling Federation who wanted to see the legend versus legend match.

But, you see? Aidan kind of helped me out. Aidan kind of saved my ass for what he did. I mean, I, literally, GAVE the man his shot of a legend versus legend match and, as you probably already know, the poor man walks out on the match that he, specifically, asked for. Hell, after that....I got texts....phone calls....e-mails....IMs.....Myspace comments, Facebook responces, everything under the sun.

Jem, all of those responses WANTED me in that match. All of those responses that friends....family.....other wrestlers....other people of the media....other this.....and other that. They all wanted me back. So, it wasn’t THAT MUCH of a shock to me when Jon Brown’s....consultant....came down that ramp and “shocked the world” with the new number one contender for that Universal title, that you hold around your waist.

So, you see Jem...I’m not just “that replacement dude who’s going to get his ass handed to him...and embarrassed on pay per view, July twenty seventh on pay per view.” Oh no, I’m that guy people WANTED in the match. I am that guy that people NEEDED in that match. That match, Jem, needed someone to step to the plate. That consultant, which means the boss, picked me out of everyone else in the X-Treme Wrestling Federation. I was the chosen one, Jem. I was the man that was picked.

Jon Brown and his consultant could have picked anyone else on that list...from Scott Young to King Cyren. But Jon picked me. It’s not because I was the “only guy available” there were other guys available the time that would make this even easier for you, Jemmy. It’s not because I was “just there” there was Sam Hain standing right next to me, for God’s sake. If he wanted a filler, he could have picked that dude....which would have probably sent me into a fit of rage...but you get my point.

Jem, you said that I was just “the filler” in this match...that I wasn’t good enough to be in the main event at Leap of Faith with the title on the line. I have heard all of that shit before, just like you heard all of my shit before. I mean, all I heard from Brad Pierce is how....I didn’t deserve to be in the match against him. All I heard from Daniel Malcolm and John Gambino...all they said was how I didn’t belong in that match with them. All I heard from Aidan Collins, before he left, was how I wasn’t good enough to be in the same ring with him and you.

And now you are saying it.

You see, Jem, all of those people....all of those challengers got EVERYTHING that I had....Brad Pierce, almost became Universal champion...Bigg Rigg and Danny Malcolm, both men had to take me out to put me out of comission so that they could have their little match. But, Jem, when the card came up...I never chickened out. I never saw the name of a legend and said “Fuck it! I’m out!” I always walked down that aisle...face to face with someone like you, Jem, and put on a show. Yeah, I lost most of those matches....but that was before now. Now, I have the drive.

Now, I know I can. I know that there’s that fire in my belly every time someone like you, or Malcolm, or Rigg, or Cyren, or anyone big pops up under or over my name with the word “Versus” in the middle. Something comes over me that never came over me against anyone except in big matches and for big titles. Jem, I got both of those moments this week. And these moments, unlike with Aidan Collins and OTHER men that are always up here for the Universal title shot, that I am getting at Leap of Faith, does not come around as often as you think. In fact, it doesn’t come around that often, to be honest with you. So, times like these...I am waiting for my moment, like this. I am waiting to show my time to come out and prove to you, or whomever the champ is, that I will belong here on top. And, you know something? What better way, Jem, to show that I am ready to be on top...then to face a legend who is also the Universal champion? Kill two birds with one stone? Yes, I am probably just going to be that “middle card” guy...but there’s one goal that I always wanted to be...and it’s not become a sixteen time X-treme champion, that just came with the talent. The one thing that I, as well as probably most of the stars here in the X-treme Wrestling Federation, is to get to the top of this business....is to get where you are, Jem Williams. It’s to get to the top of this business, even if it is for one glorious second in the sun...it was in the sun. I want that moment, Jem.

You think that I am a “mid carder” in the X-Treme Wrestling Federation? You think that I don’t deserve to be here? Well, let’s wait until Sunday, Jem. Let’s wait until it’s you and me...inside a steel fucking cage. There, you will see that I am for real about this. There, you can see that I am not going to back out of this one....hell, I won’t be able to even if I was having “second thoughts” because, just like I said before, there’s a fucking cage in my damn way and I’m not the guy that’ll just grab the mic and go “You know what? Bring this bad boy up, I changed my mind” in mid match. That’s not me...that’s not going to be me. I mean, I just participated in match number one hundred last Monday and I didn’t back down in any of those one hundred matches and I am not going to back down after that.

This Sunday night, Jem, is going to be a night that you and I will never ever forget...for very different reasons. My reason, simple, winning the Universal title from a legend. Your reason, simple...again, getting beat by someone who you claim to be, and I quote from the legend himself, a mid carder.

—===We’ll Be Right Back===— —===But enjoy My Top McCain Moments===—

ZACH RIZZA
NEWS PERSON
RANDY EEL
MIA

Home sweet home.

You know, after a whole half of a day of testimonies and lies among lies among God damn lies...I am just glad that I am sitting here, with a beer in my hand, feet up, and watching some good ol’ television. Something that I wish that I had with me at that boring shit hole that was the courtroom. I wish there was something like a bar....something that makes you just sit there...have a good damn time. I mean, it would have been sooooo good to have a drink before going in to the buzz kill that happens to be a courtroom with everyone friggin’ quiet....It’s nerve racking...it’s not right...it’s stupid....it’s too fucking boring. I want to do SOMETHING then just sit there...watching someone explain why they deserve money while trying to defend someone who did something that was wrong, bar none. I mean, I would rather have root canal then sit in that court room staring into space, again. I just want something....ANYTHING to do besides just sitting there doing absolutely nothing.

It’s weird to just look around at the faces that are really into this shit...like the main guys...like the big guys who have to report on this crap for a living. I mean , their faces were just really concentrated on this...writing shit down...making notes...making little drawings....making anything and everything so that they have something to remember about when they write it down on their computer and print out so that they can get the back page of the entire newspaper in the little splurges that was too less important to put on the front....or the middle....of the paper. Just seeing those little nerdy people...with the pocket protectors and the pens all in a row....from black....to blue...to red...to, I saw some people have green and other wacky colors of pens in their little pockets. It is a really weird thing to see in person when you are not in those little reporter groups. I mean, it’s not natural to see anyone, except for students, to just sit there....writing....notes...a lot of notes...a ton of notes just to get their names in the paper at the end.

I sit here...thinking about all of this stuff...thinking about people writing shit that really isn’t relevant to the case JUST SO they got something...JUST SO that they have something to put on the paper. But...the television is off...and the beer is still....unopened. Right now, though, I just am in a thinking mood it is really weird to think about it, like that. It just seems weird that I am thinking about something except to see what’s on television and shit like that. I never even looked at the newspaper because I got the feeling that something is going to happen.

Like, I just feel like I am being watched. I mean, ever since those dreams I had....I just felt...weird about everyone that is lookin’ at me...that everyone is out to get me...that everyone is trying to kill my ass because I am going to probably snitch. I mean, after all...I am dealing with, yet another, crime family who can, this time, kick my ass without any fucking guns. I look out the window...and I noticed two black cars parked in front of each other...black tinted windows...so black I can’t even believe anyone would even see in that car. I get down on the floor and grab a pair of binoculars that are in my cabinet in the bottom drawer, I never even knew it was there. I peer over the bottom ledge with the binoculars....and notice, through the thick tint of the window...a faintly white triangle...something like what I saw those Japanese people that were sitting at the pews in the courtroom. The door opens up...I duck...I don’t care who the hell it is, I hope whomever it is...didn’t even see my ass. I get up to see mourners of our dead neighbor’s father who was, astonishingly, ninety seven years old.

My breathing starts to get back to normal...look at the beer...you know what? I think I need something stronger, so I go to the kitchen and grab a Smirnoff Ice from the fridge and crack that bottle open and chugged it to, about, a quarter is gone. Right now, the nervousness is going away pretty damn fast, if you ask me. I sit back down on my recliner and switch on Comedy Central and watch some stand up comic, who isn’t that funny, tell jokes, that aren’t that funny, with the crowd laughing because the jokes weren’t that funny...but they are too drunk to realize that and that they are on national TV...so, why not hear themselves laugh every time this stupid shit comes on? Hell, I know I would have. I mean, if I was at something like this...I would have probably get more autographs then this ass clown.

I sit there, Smirnoff in hand (thought I was being a lil gay with that one, but oh well), and watching an unfunny comic do his shtick...it makes me forget that I was about to pee myself with the black cars that wound up outside my front door. But, now, that I got that emergency out of there...I find myself switching from comedy....to sports...or “sports”, like golf....which I just put on for the hell of it.

I then see....young versus new. Something that I just fancy now and days with the recent goings on in my life. I mean, Greg Norman...Padrig Harrington...old....young. Very weird to see that match up take place, now that I am in the midst of, pretty much, the same thing. But that’s another story for another day. I sit there....thinking about “old and new” things...my phone rings a little bit....seems that I got a text message.

“DUDE! CHECK OUT THE NEWS! NOW!”

I call Randy up...and turn on the news.

...he was found dead in the bathtub only days before he was to testify on behalf of the prosecution in the trial of the dojo master that turned out to be a fraud. It is not known, at this point in time, if the death of this man was suspicious...but it does seem that he will not be testifying in that case when his turn is called.

What...the....FUCK!?

You know, maybe it’s just coincidence. Maybe something just...happened. I mean, a lot of things could have happened. The man could have slipped in the bathtub...the man could have drowned....the man could have...

....what? Just get hit with a blunt object? Rizz, what the hell man?! I mean, you and I are both on that list for the prosecution. You and I are both on that list, hell...we could be next to be “called up” man. I mean, we could be cooked by those Japs if they found out where we were at. Shit, it could be like World War Two times fifty, man! This shit is serious!

Dude, calm down. I am pretty sure that the Yakuza or whatever didn’t get someone to kill this man. It’s just not right. The man that’s in jail..isn’t that big, you know? I mean, who would want to save a dojo master who makes little money?

That’s the thing, man. They see him go down, the money slows down. The money for the Yakuza, from what I heard, is big and if there’s someone out there that takes that shit away...it’s hell for them...it’s not good...it’s just weird.

How do you know about the Yakuza?

Oh, I did my senior project a few years back on the crime organizations in the U.S. and around the globe. This one was one of the better ones I did. The IRA and the Mafia weren’t as in depth as this. Why that was, I have no idea. But that’s not the point. Both of our names are on there, Riz. We could both be in serious danger if someone found out where we lived and where we worked.

So what? So you think we should just pack all of our shit and get into a cramped apartment? Hell no, I am not letting those assholes win like that. They want me, they know where to find me. It’s not up to me to run scared and into the Witness Protection. I have a life I got to lead with people needing me to compete. I have a name that needs to be upheld, man. I don’t need this shit, you know?

Yeah, I know what you mean. But I don’t know what to do, man. I mean, we could all be in serious danger here. We could all be killed tomorrow. I mean, anthrax could come in through the mail and kill us and nobody’s going to know. Or, just like that guy on the news, someone could easily come into the room and just hit us over the head and make it look like we feel in the bathtub, or something. What if they kill us, huh? What will happen then?

I think about it...I don’t really want to do this...but I guess I got to.

Ok, you want to be closer...come on over to our home. I mean, it’s not much...but it beats living in an apartment down on the Strip district where, let me tell you, anyone could be the real killer. So, just pack up your valuables and head on down to the Casa de Rizza and we’ll treat you right. Ok?

Ok, I got to ask, though....can I bring someone?

What? Someone like who?

Well, it’s my girl. I just moved in around a few months back...forgot to tell you I got one, too.

Oh, sure...why the hell not? The more the merrier. Plus, it’ll protect her from getting the brunt of the action. You know what I mean?

Yeah. Alright, I will just get my things and be down there....tomorrow, I guess.

Alright man, take your time. I will see you down here.

As I sit here…looking at the whole deal going on with the whole crime wave that happens to go on in the same time that there is a major trial, that I am involved in, going on…I just think about shit like who’s next? Who’s going to be the next man or woman to, well, go down? Who will be the next to not testify against that man? I mean, I am on the witness list…I don’t know if the attorney has all of the names of who the witnesses are, the list of “victims”, I guess you can say. I mean I am just sitting here looking out the window with the binoculars like I am going to be attacked at any second. I still have the news on, in case there were some big things that came out. In case they caught the man who did this or if the autopsy came out and that the man was found to have died from natural causes….or a slip and fall…and everything is just coincidence that it happened to a man that had a court date to put someone in jail that is pretty powerful in the “mob world.”

“Mob world” is now expanding from the mob in Italy to the IRA in Ireland to the Yakuza in Japan to, even, the Cripps and Bloods in Los Angeles and other organizations that specialize in crime. Either one of those could kick my ass with no questions asked. Either one of those organizations could track my ass down and find me and just take me down and shit like that. I don’t know if I am freaking out…or what…but I have been dealing with people in the mob before. I have been associated with the mob before and it’s not the best thing to be involved with, as they nearly killed my girlfriend and my child before he was even born. I just have this feeling that it’s not over yet. That this whole thing between me and the Yakuza, or the Mafia, or any other different mob organization. I mean there’s going to be a lot of consequences that happens during this trial. I just hope that I am not one of those consequences that I speak of.

I hope that I can sit there through the entire trial without getting killed or burned or losing a loved one in the process. I just wish that this whole thing didn’t need to involve me, because I know if I, or someone that I know, was not involved in this case...I wouldn’t even care. I mean, I would just sit on my ass and let justice come to whom it deserves to come with. I mean, if you’re a witness...good luck. If you’re the guy getting charged....good luck. If you’re the people who are protecting the guy that gets charged by defending him....good luck. If you’re the guys who protect him “other, more unconventional, ways” good luck with that, as well. I would feel sorry for the witnesses...but I wouldn’t really care all that much. I just wouldn’t mind all that much what happens to the witnesses...but now that I find myself and Randy in this situation...it changes dramatically.

Mia comes in with a strange look on her face.

Did you hear what happened to that witness, babe?

Yeah, how did you hear about it?

It was all over the news, because of the trial and how close it is to it. I don’t think you should go through with this, babe. It could be dangerous to our health. Fuck your health, it could end your life babe. It’s dangerous to stay in the loop of the witness list. I don’t want to lose you. You know? What would happen? Where would I turn?

Listen, Randy’s going to come over and we’ll protect you guys. Ok?

You guys? It’s just me and Eddie right?

Well, and Randy’s girlfriend that he’s living with, now. Don’t ask...don’t tell. That’s for damn sure.

Alright, I feel a little safer. You two would protect me right?

No, we’re going to let you die a slow and pain filled death and then move to Hawaii with a model slash pole dancer slash escort and have one hell of a good time on your credit card. OF COURSE we’ll protect you. Trust me, no one’s going to get you. Not the Yakuza...or Mafia...or aliens...or Predator. You are safe, Mia. Trust me.

Ok, I guess you’re right. It’s going to be weird, though. I know that.

Hell, I am not saying that it’s not. I know it’s going to be weird. I mean, we have people trying to fucking get us whacked here, babe. There’s nothing not weird about it. You know that and I know that. We just got to take it with a grain of salt and let things pan out. Hell, I might not even be on that list, anymore. They probably took my name off and kept it secret.

Well, I don’t know...ever since I heard that, I have been looking out the car window seeing if there are any suspicious looking vehicles out there...nothing out of the ordinary, right now though. Maybe they aren’t looking for us yet.

Well, that’s because we’re not up yet, babe. I do not even know if they are going to call on us to even testify. So, you just got to wait babe. We could be safe, after all.

But we could be like that guy, babe. We could be dead, for all we know. Hell, they probably have us next in line. You’re name is probably next to be called up to the stand. We could be next, babe. You don’t know until you get the call. You don’t know until someone tells you that they are going to call you. The attorney has that list and was, probably, forced to give it up to the people that are trying to protect this fraud. You know?

Yea, I know...Just calm down though. We’re all in good hands, trust me. You got me...I got you... and we are all just living as one big ol’ pot of family and friends that will help each other out with anything. If you want, me and Randy could take you places and shit like that so you would feel safe. You know?

Yeah, I guess you are right. Hey, why are you drinking my Smirnoff?