I can’t believe it, Bruce.
I sit alone in my room…I haven’t shaved in a while…the television isn’t on…the only light that is shining through is the light of the sun entering the room through the window. How the hell did I lose to Trent? I had him right there. I had the plan to beat him and I was right there and I blew it. I fall back and my back hits the bed and I am, now, looking up at the white ceiling. I hear muttering in the background.
He hasn’t left his room in a long time, I am getting really nervous.
Calm down, I am sure he’s fine. He’s a champ, he can do it.
I lay there listening to the conversation that is going on in the other room…not really giving a damn at what is going on, but just listening. It’s weird, I’m not bitter…I’m not angry…I’m just depressed that I just lost after knowing that I had him right where I wanted him…I had him…I was seconds away, too…then, POOF, it’s over.
I slowly turn my head over to where my boots lay…one hanging over the television set…and the other covering the alarm clock. My trunks are around here somewhere. Honestly, I am not sure where either. Maybe it’s in the same place where I lost my mind. Ah, never mind…found them…how did they get on the bedroom ceiling fan? Who cares? I’ll take it down when I damn well feel like it. I don’t feel like doing much as of now. I just want to lay here and never get up.
Zach? You in there?
Mia cracks the door open and pokes her head in. I sit up on my bed and stare a hole in the eyes of Mia.
What?
Mia, without saying a word, comes and sits down on the edge of the bed and places her head on my shoulder while rubbing my back. I hang my head and place it in my hands, rubbing my eyes. I, then, run my hands through my hair and then lay right back down on the bed, with my legs hanging off the end of the bed. Mia joins me lying down on the bed.
How did your trunks get on the ceiling fan?
I stare deeply at her.
Ok, I think I’ll pass on that question. Look, there are times when people are in slumps and it takes time for you to, you know, digest what just happened. I understand that. But Zach, you got to get your act together.
I sigh deeply and close my eyes.
I can’t.
I mean, it’s not like you are a failure, Zach. You are just in a slump. Slumps can be turned around. You know this, I have seen you in one before. Hell, I have seen you in worse slumps than the one you are in now. There’s something that you got to do to dig yourself out of this hole.
Give me a fucking shovel, I’ll need it to dig.
Plus, why did you agree to do this if you knew it was going to bring you down? I mean, if I remember correctly it was YOU who wanted the old Trent back. It was YOU who wanted to go three rounds with a crazed psycho. I mean, you might have to rethink your life after that match, now. Right?
I groan a huge groan and stare into the eyes of Mia. Without saying a word, I get up from the bed and walk towards the window and look out into the woods.
Wow, you got up out of bed. That’s a step in the right direction.
I don’t acknowledge her. There I lean against the table, facing Mia, with my arms perched firmly against the wood.
You don’t know what’s going through my head right now. The thoughts. The questions. The ideas, oh the ideas that are swirling around in this head would make a grown man crumble beneath the dirt six feet deep. Mia, these things in my head you don’t want to know about. There are a few things you should never do in life. Never cut anyone in line, never play grab ass at a funeral, never cuddle with a hooker, and never ask someone who has lots of shit going in his head how the fuck he is feeling.
Mia looks at me with a concerned look. I have my head hanging down, taking deep breathes and my eyes are closed.
Please, Mia, leave me the heck alone right now. That’s all I want to do. I just want to be left the fuck alone.
Mia comes over and gives me a slight hug before leaving the room. I continue to look outside banging my head off of the glass. How could I be so stupid? I had him beat for that whole time and BOOM! There’s no title around my waist…now look at me.
I walk over to the mirror and look in the reflection in it. I notice the scruffy look on my face, as I run my fingers through the short stubble that I have going from not shaving for a few days.
Look at you.
Am I going crazy? Did I see my own reflection just talk to me?
Excuse me?
LOOK AT YOU! You’re a wreck. Are you going to mope around the house for the rest of your life?
What is there for me to do?!
What is there?! Get your ass up and do something about it. There’s no use crying over spilled milk. You get back on that high horse and you be the Zach Rizza you know you can be and I know you can….well, I just said the same thing twice. You know because you’re listening to your….
…Own reflection, yes I know. But you should also know that I had this…this was the time I could really make a name for myself…this was my time to shine…my induction into the…
…Big Tyme?
Yeah. Exactly. I should have known you would know that. I mean, you are in my head the whole time.
Look, you got unlucky. It happens to a lot of us. Take the fact that it took Trent three tries to take you down. Take the fact that you made Trent where he is now, ready to fucking pounce. Take the fact that you, Zachary mother fucking Rizza, took an unstoppable force and expose weaknesses. You, Zach, could’ve easily gave up and took the sweep. But you took him to the limits and, I know you know that he was backpedalling and doubting himself.
My whole body stiffens up.
Ah, see? I got your attention now. Zach, you just got to go out there and be the better man and take your ass to the limit, just like you took the LEGEND, Trent Gein.
I close my eyes and when I open them, again, I am looking at my reflection, which is moving when I move and not talking to me.
Hmm..that was strange. But, honestly, very refreshing to hear that not all my body is feeling like crap.
You saw it. I don’t need to tell you guys what happened. I mean, there it was in black and white, Zach Rizza just got beat…by Trent Gein for that second time. I don’t have to tell you that, yes, it stung. That, yes, that loss hurt me in places where I thought I wasn’t ever going to be hurt. That, yes, that loss took me back a couple of years because…like I said, besides this past month…I had Trent’s number. Besides this past month, Trent lost time…after time…after time…after time…to ME. He knows it, too. I bet in the back of his mind Trent knew that.
However, I see this as a moral victory, not just for me…oh no…but for Trent Gein….for Zero Conformity…and, especially, for the note takers in the X-Treme Wrestling Federation. How so? I turned him back into the Trent Gein that I wanted to see in that ring against me. I turned him into the MONSTER that Trent Gein knew he could be, the psycho son of a bitch that got him to the point of Legend-hood. Trent, you’re back and I can tell that for a fact…because, unlike a few Anarchies ago…YOU did it and YOU didn’t stop until I was unable to get up at the count of three.
But…That was then…this is now…and, now, look who I am facing…yet again. The man who I have fought more times in the past two months that equals to the amount of times I fought Trent Gein…and that’s you, Daniel Malcolm.
Devine intervention is something that gets thrown around from time to time…but I feel like there’s someone higher controlling this card. That someone is upstairs controlling the card maker to make a match at least once a month pitting myself and you in that same ring. Maybe…juuuuust maybe, Daniel, it’s THE higher power controlling it. Maybe it’s him. Maybe it’s God Almighty, himself.
Maybe God is coming down from the heavens…making this match…to teach one of us a lesson. It’s not me, I know that for sure. I’m pretty sure, even though he does some fucked up shit, it isn’t because of Dynamic Dynamite. I don’t know Vinic DuShane that well enough to think it is him…even though someone is looking out for him, lucky son of a bitch.
But, Daniel, I am talking about you. The man who made his own religion. The man who has followers follow him and do whatever he tells them to do. Maybe God wants me to send a message to you, Daniel. Maybe he thinks, just like everyone else in the X-Treme Wrestling Federation, that you are just using this…as a scam to get popular. Using this chance to show you what it’s like to not follow commandment number seven, “Thou shall have no other gods before me!”
Daniel, you’re making people believe that you, somehow, are a God…that’s a big no-no in biblical sense. However, I am going to say something to you that I know you know about. Prophet, profit, or nothing…it won’t change the fact that you really get on my God damn nerves and that this point and time…it’s not a good thing to be on my bad side. At this point and time, Danny boy, I am not a happy camper and I am willing to do things that make God, the devil, and even you shiver to the damn core.
Hell, I have already been to hell and back with fighting Trent Gein and there’s nothing else that you can do that would bring me further down. Nothing that you can do, Dan, could put me in the same state that I was in for the past few weeks with him. Understand? You could drive nails as thick as a bowling ball throw my hands to a fucking tree and it STILL wouldn’t be the amount of shit that I have seen when I went to hell.
You know what will happen, now? Danny, when you sit down…write the memoirs of your life…write the bible that Malcolmists will follow, if there are any followers left by that time, and you write about the meetings that you and I had and, somehow, turn me into some sort of devil…but, Dan, in this bible not only does this devil kicks your ass all over the place on every single page, with every single disciple saying the same thing:
“Zach kicked Daniel’s ass, and thou people groaned!” Next page “Zach threw Daniel’s ass out of thou arena, and thou people rejoiced.” Next page “Zach just beat the savior up into a bloody pulp, and thou people doth not care about thy savior.” So on and so on.
Daniel Malcolm, I am beginning to be your worst nightmare. Then, add the fact that not only do you have Dynamic Dynamite, the World heavywei…huh? He didn’t become World heavyweight champion? Who did?! HAHA! You’re joking right? That truly can’t be the case. Mia Sanchez is the new World champion? Whoa boy! So, not only do you have a pissed off ME…but, now, you have an equally pissed, if not more due to the fact that he just lost to a girl, Dynamic Dynamite. May God have some mercy on your soul.
Now, we come from someone who I have fought numerous times to someone who, honestly, I still don’t know who the hell he is. So, Vinic…you got introduced to Dynamic Dynamite already…however, I’m not like that. I like to introduce myself in that ring…and by introduce myself….I mean kick your ass all over that very ring. I have been in this game long enough, found numerous nimrods who sit right where you are sitting and saying the same exact thing about how GREAT they are and how MAGNIFICANT their wrestling skills are, only to be disappointed in THAT VERY RING against THIS VERY PERSON!
Vinic, I don’t know you. I don’t want to know you. In fact, after this match…I hope you and I don’t meet again…because, just like I am with Daniel Malcolm, it will be your worst fucking nightmare.
Vinic, there’s a little phrase people use when discussing someone, like you, it’s a phrase I am fairly sure you hear time and time again. A phrase that you, probably, don’t want to hear me say that you are. That phrase, Mr. DuShane…is “lucky.” You went FOUR FOR FOUR in victories, last month. You fought some of the toughest guys this side of the X-Treme Wrestling Federation. Trent Gein and Daniel Malcolm top your list. However, Trent Gein was getting ready for ME later on in the week….Daniel Malcolm….well, I am not sure what the hell Danny boy is doing anymore. I don’t even think Danny knows what Dan’s doing anymore. So, you see there, Vinic….you…are…lucky and you know what they say about kids, like you, who are lucky…their luck…yeah, their luck goes bye-bye. Their luck runs out, Vinic. Honestly, I see it running out this week and I see your luck run out at the expense of either The X-Treme Icon, myself, or The X-Rated Icon, Dynamic Dynamite.
Finally, now that I know that Mia Sanchez is holding a major title…let me speak directly to her:
Mia, first of all…congrats on winning the World championship title…I know, from experience, winning the title is one of the most awesome experiences I have ever felt. However, I think it’s proper for me to tell you a little something. I have won the X-Treme title, the United States title, the Television champion, Tag Team champion, Hart champion, King of Anarchy, two time Star of the Month…July and February of 2008…, and I was Universal champion. A laundry list, mind you, that is one of the best lists in all of the X-Treme Wrestling Federation.
There’s one title, though, that eluded me throughout my entire XWF career. One title that escaped my grasp. If you still don’t know what title I am talking about, Mia, I want you to look down at your pretty little waist and see what title that says…then you would know.
Mia, let me tell you something…I want that complete list of titles. I don’t care if it’s against you, against Lee Stone, against James Raven, or even Jerry Attrick. Just know that once this year is over…the World title will be MINE!
Heeeey, look who’s up! Wow, you even shaved?
I glare at Bruce before sitting on the couch. I grab the remote and star flipping through the channels.
Where’s Mia?
Ah, she had to go shopping. She told me to keep an eye out on you just in case you did anything…dangerous…or, like you are now, begin to come back to planet Earth. Who were you talking to back there?
My head pops up and whips around to where Bruce is.
Wait, what?!
Yeah, I could overhear a conversation, you were talking to someone. Not sure what about, but I did definitely hear your voice.
Hm…I was just talking to myself. That’s all. Nothing wrong with that. It was more of a pep talk. I’m better now. I just need a little time, that’s all.
Hey, I got you, man. I have those days where I just talk to myself…hoping someone is there to hear me. Kind of feel like you’re the only man in the universe to hear what you have to say.
I look over at a mirror that’s hanging off the wall and there I noticed my reflection patting Bruce on the back mouthing “This guy gets it!” I, then, notice Bruce look over at the reflection and it’s back to normal.
Rizz, what are you looking at, chief?
Huh?
You weren’t paying attention. Thought something happened.
Oh…no. I was just checking myself in the mirror. I think I missed a few hairs when I shaved. I was just looking to see where it is so I can shave it off later.
Yeah, you did miss a few spots…but, hey, you look good for a guy who was just locked up in his room for hours just staring at a ceiling.
Thanks? I mean, that isn’t a comment that is normally said to anyone…ever. But I would take that as a compliment, as dumb as that sound…it’s the best thing I’ve heard in the past few days.
I put my feet up on the table and begin to change the channels. I noticed that there isn’t anything on television so I just throw it on ESPN…not sure I want to watch fishing…but it’s something on the tube.
Rizz, you had us worried there…thought you…um never mind. That’s not important.
I whip my head around…
Worried? Worried how?
Oh, nothing. I mean, Mia thought you were really depressed and on the verge of going crazy and probably talk to a reflection in the mirror or something.
My eyes widen as I look over at the mirror, my reflection…just as shocked as I am…shrugged his shoulders like he has no clue what the hell is going on. I shrug my shoulders.
Um. What made you think that?
Rizz, I know you too well to know that you don’t take loses like these easily. I mean, I remember when you had that long, long spurt of sucktitude and stuff like that and you were locked up in your room for days on end. You forgot I’ve been with you longer than your wife has…so she’s the one that is getting, you know, nervous about you. I knew you were just going through a phase...I know nothing major is going to come up…
…Right?
I look over to the wall mirror and it’s me. I smile, and the reflection smiles.
Right. Nothing is going to happen. You know me too well, there, chief. You know me too well to know that I’m going to go coo coo over some match. I mean, I did send him to match number three but…you know…yeah…I don’t want to relive that again, though, so I am not going to say it.
I get up and grab a beer from the fridge.
You want any?!
Sure, why not?
I grab one for Bruce and head over and throw him a beer. You know, today may have been the weirdest day I have had in a long, long time. I mean, I just saw something strange, something that people never really see…ever…unless you’re crazy. But I’m not getting crazy, right? I’m just coping with this shit that’s going on around me. I mean, my reflection is talking to me…I don’t know why…it just is. I guess that there are things in this world that, well, are left unexplained for something. I mean, if I knew what the hell is going on with my life, I would find a way to sit here and change what is going on. Hell, I don’t think I want to know what is going on in my head…I mean, it’s just...I don’t know anymore.
I take a swig of my beer and close my eyes and take a deep breath. This is going to be a weird day? No. Week? No. Month? No. Let’s try the rest of my fucking life.