Man, I can’t believe the second day I am back in the XWF…not only am facing the Universal champion, not only am I facing the top dog in the XWF, but…I’m doing it in my hometown. I don’t even have to move from my lounge chair. Hell, I could walk down to the Mellon Arena to get to the show. I get up and walk over to the window to look at the weather and how it looks…

Snow.

Ok, maybe I’m not going to walk out there…I’ll just drive really carefully…and try not to kill myself or anyone else trying to get there. I come over to my kitchen and grab a cold beer. I walk back to the chair to sit down…but then I hear the phone ringing.

Shit, just when I was going to get comfortable someone always has to ruin this relaxing moment for me.

I get up from my chair, only after a few seconds of sitting “comfortably” in my lounger I have to get up to see who’s at the friggin’ phone. I get up and answer the phone wondering who it could be at this early hour of the day.

‘Ello?

Hello? Who’s this?

Mia, it’s me. Zach.

I hear silence on the other end of the line. That must mean she’s either A) thinking about how this could possibly be or B) about to go off on a hell of a tirade about me being here. I have no idea about her. She has that fire in her that is spontaneous and anything could be going on in that little mind of hers. I wonder what’s taking so long to answer.

Mia? Are you there?

Yeah…but why are you there? Don’t you have to catch a plane or something? Go to California? Texas? Connecticut? North Dakota? Aren’t you on the card this week? Why are you at home, Zachary.

It’s here. I don’t have to move.

Again, there’s silence on the other line. I walk back to the chair that I was sitting at and start switching the stations to something that I would want to see. I hear a deep sigh on the other line before this…

Why didn’t you tell me you were going to be in Pittsburgh? You know that I would have bought tickets and told family and friends to go down and see you out there wrestling and all of that.

I chuckle on the other line. I hear nothing but silence on the other line. Yeah, I think Mia is getting pretty upset with me. Wait a minute. She didn’t like me coming back.

Wait, freeze it up right there. First off, you were very critical about me joining the XWF. But now you want tickets to go see me? That is pretty flip floppy on your account, and I’m supposed to forget that?

I flip up my legs, so I am in a relaxed position. I let out a huge relaxing sigh.

What was that?

I have a confused look on my face.

A sigh?

Why were you sighing at me, Zach?

I am even more confused. I have no idea what the hell she’s talking about. What the hell does she mean? I don’t have permission to sigh?

I was relaxing, Mia. Just relaxing. I put my feet up and sighed. Nothing to do with you, though. But you haven’t answered my question, yet. Why do you, all of a sudden, care about what I go through? You were critical of my move to come back to the XWF. So, what’s wrong?

Zach, you know I hate being left out in the dark. I want to know what you are doing because I support you in everything that you do. Even if that means putting your body on the line, I still support you…even though I am truly against that type of shit.

My eyes roll in the back of my head, she’s really annoying somewhat. I thought one thing, because she said that one thing…but when I thought she was going to hate me for going back…NOW, that I am back here in my hometown she, all of a sudden, wants to be at ringside to see me do something that she doesn’t want to do? That’s a little confusing.

Why are you arguing with me, Zach? All I want to know is if you knew that you were going to be in Pittsburgh…why didn’t you tell me so I could’ve told your friends about it?

I didn’t because I wasn’t in XWF until LAST WEEK! Has that ever get into your brain? Maybe I had more things that I had to do to than tell people where I am going to be at every minute of the day.

I am getting angrier and angrier with this conversation. I slam the reclining position to the upright seated position so I can get up and look outside again. I sigh again seeing my Jeep Wrangler covered a foot deep in snow and the drive way is, actually, a little less with a half of foot of snow. Cleaned it up after the first wave…second wave came in, like, five or ten minutes after I finished cleaning the first few inches off.

So…What are you planning on doing on your week here in Pittsburgh? The stay that you forgot to tell your wife.

What else am I going to do? Damn place is covered in snow. I might start back on that, again, it won’t work…of course…due to the fact that it’s still snowing like hell and, if it is going to continue to snow it will cover it up 6 inches yet again.

Alright, I will talk to you later…ok?

Ok.

I hang up the phone and head to the closet. I grab my heavy ass jacket, my head band that I never got rid of in college…maybe that tells you something, and also my Under Armor gloves that, to be quite honest with you, is probably the best looking gloves that don’t even keep your fingers warm…unless you got heat packs. And, the sad part is, I used my last heat pack yesterday when I had to do the same thing. I grab my charged up Zune player and head outside into the white stuff. It’s cold. That’s the first thing I know. Snow should not be crunchy when you walk on it. Man, this is going to be a long day…the snow is reaching to MY shin…that shouldn’t happen to a 6’9 guy. Oh well.

---===We Will Be Right Back…After A Word From Zach Rizza===--- See what I did there? Haha.

Anyways, last week was my first match back after over two years of not competing, and I fought for the title that I have always had success with, against the family who…let’s be honest…I’ve always wanted to beat all across this place. Unfortunately, I sit here…today…with no X-Treme title. I sit here…with no win yet. But this title loss, to be honest, was to be expected. I have been the X-Treme champion sixteen other times. I know what it takes to hold that title, I know what it takes to be a champion and be great with that title. I don’t NEED to win that title again and again and again. I don’t NEED to be anything more than a sixteen time X-Treme champion and, even with 16 championships, I have done millions of things with that belt that, to be honest, I don’t think will ever be duplicated, with the talent holding that title now, and with the talent that are going after that title on a daily basis. Hell, I’ve seen guys who haven’t done shit in the ring try and beat Hunter day…after day…after day…after day. Kinda sad, if you ask me.

I mean, I had legends like Trent Gein and Boondock Saint try to take that title away from me…what’s the biggest name going after that title now? Chasm!? Wow.

Ok, I am talking about spilled milk here. I don’t need to talk about the past…because the present is staring me dead in the face. The inevitable truth is…I’m not the favorite in this match that is coming up. Hell, I don’t think ANYONE has me winning this match, and why’s that? Because Big Shank just so happens to have that Universal title, the biggest title in the X-Treme Wrestling Federation to have. The title that tells the whole world that you are the best, and that you are the man who they have to beat to become that man. The man you have to beat to put your name on the map, solidify your position, or…in my case…get back to where I was when I left this damned place.

Shank, I heard what you said…making fun of the nickname that I had. Yeah, I know that the nickname “Big Tyme” has been watered down by shitty pop Nickelodeon boy bands, other shitty ass wrestlers…as I know I am not the only Big Tyme in existence. You may not fear the name anymore. I don’t blame you. If I were you, I would have definitely said the same damn thing about my own self. However, it doesn’t matter what my nickname is. It could be “Creampuff McGee” it wouldn’t matter. You should not fear the nickname…but you should, Shanksie, fear me. My nickname doesn’t have anything to do with my skills in the X-Treme Wrestling Federation. My nickname never won any titles in the XWF. My nickname, Big Shank, never was the Universal champion. Zach Rizza, however, was. Zach Rizza was the one who won all of those matches and made me famous. Big Tyme didn’t do anything but stay there and look cute while Zach Rizza dominated.

Speaking of my Universal title match…you were only two weeks old in the X-Treme Wrestling Federation when I did win the Universal championship…and I see where you are coming from, Shank. But, you see…I’m not going to talk about how I left the XWF as the Universal champion. I’m not going to ask myself that question that many of people think I always ask myself. But, what I will tell you is…it was just like this match. How?

One, there’s an over-confident champion. Psst…Shanky-poo…that just might mean I am talking about you. I mean, when I fought Jem Williams, he was cocky. He thought that he was just going to walk through me, just like he walked through every other XWF’er that he went through previously, as the Universal champion. He thought that I was just going to lay down for him. Looking at this week, it seems that you don’t think that I am going to stand a chance against you. You think that I am just going to go in there and feel scared to face Big Shank. I’m not. I wasn’t scared facing Jem Williams, and he was the biggest name that I fought in the damn federation. So why should I be scared of someone who, in all seriousness, is not Jem Williams?

Two, nobody is giving me a shot! I mean, I see what other people are saying: “Zach doesn’t stand a chance!” “Big Shank is going to kill Big Tyme!” “The Universal Champion is greater than The X-Treme Icon!” Oh, I have heard throughout the grapevines that nobody’s giving me a chance. However, you go back to when you were just a little itty bitty Shank in this company and when I won my Universal title…what were people saying about me then? “Zach doesn’t stand a chance.” “The Unkillable, Jem Williams, is going to kill Big Tyme!” “The LEGEND is greater than the X-Treme ICON of the XWF!” I’ve heard it before. I’ve heard it all before.

Thirdly, nobody could believe why I am in this match. Again, I’ve heard people say that I don’t deserve to face Big Shank yet. That I am not ready to face someone who is your caliber. That I shouldn’t be able to go after Big Shank because he is the Universal champion and I haven’t been tested in the “big leagues” since my return, last week, to the X-Treme Wrestling Federation. HOWEVER, I heard that same thing…not by fans…BUT BY OTHER WRESTLERS who were in the X-Treme Wrestling Federation and who were, pretty much, in the Universal title hunt, against Jem Williams.

Hell, the only thing that…hopefully…won’t happen is someone hacking this site and put A) a picture of a naked Harry Potter on a horse and B) putting a giant Deputy Weinerface smack dab in the middle of the page, for the whole world to see. However, there’s just one small difference between this match and my Universal title match against Jem Williams.

That difference, Shank-opotamus , is you’re not just facing “Big Tyme” Zach Rizza. You’re not facing me, the X-Treme Icon. Oh no, no, no. You see, you are facing my hometown. You are facing the Pittsburgh fans that come to see me, not you. You are facing someone who has a whole city, and surrounding areas, You are going into MY yard. You are going into a world that you haven’t seen before. I don’t think you, Shank, have been in that situation before. I don’t think you ever had to face someone who’s in the host city before. I don’t think you’ve faced that situation, and now you are.

Shankle, you’re not going to be welcomed to the “Big Tyme” because…you already had your big time moment holding that title for this long. However, you SHOULD do what I told Jem Williams to do time and time and time again on that faithful night when I won the Universal title, that same Universal title that you hold around your waist. That message? Expect nothing more but the unexpected. I will see your ass in that ring.

---===Welcome BACK to the Big Tyme===--- ---===No Smoking, please===--- An hour goes by, it seemed like I was out here for a whole day or week. I must be done already. I look down at my feet and see that I did, in fact, make some progress. Instead of the snow coming up to my shins, the snow is now lowered to my ankles. I believe my feet are somewhere other than attached to my body because I cannot even feel below my ankles. The only thing that I did that was productive, I believe, was get that hard crusty snow that was on the top of the snow surface off of the softer but more heavier snow. I look at the old pile of snow and there are pieces of that snow that just looks like a big sheet. I walk over to where it is and pick it up with my hand before slamming it on the ground and the sheet of icey snow breaks off into a million tiny pieces.

You aren’t supposed to do that with snow.

I dig harder into the white stuff, hearing that I am hitting concrete and I almost feel like Christmas time as a little kid and opening that present you really like. However, I have a loooong way to go to unwrap this damn present. I see Mia coming down to road so I throw my shovel javelin-like and it sticks in the snow perfectly. Mia parks her car, and I get to her door. She begins to laugh hysterically.

What?

You look like if the abominable snowman fucked Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer. Take a break, babe. Here, take in your hot chocolate. It will warm you up.

Ahh…that is refreshing…even though I was just ridiculed by my wife, I enter the house with the cup of cocoa in one hand and a sleeping bundled-up Eddie in my other hand. Yeah, this is the life…I guess…No, it really isn’t the life…I would love to be on a beach in South Florida or Hawaii right now.

Why didn’t you tell me you weren’t going anywhere?

I just learned about it before. Don’t worry; I was going to tell you. Trust me.

I place Eddie in his crib before coming back into the living room and click on the TV to SportsCenter.