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Why God? Why? Our scene fades in on a night of autumn. The mercury on the proverbial thermometer was falling fast. It’s colder than the Devil’s heart, storming ice pitchforks as if Heaven was falling. Everyone on the city streets seek shelter like there’s no tomorrow. The view stops shifting, locking in on a skyscraper, one that puts you in mind of the tower of Babylon. The view begins to climb, as if the man behind the camera is flying. We lift up, slowly at first, then quicker and quicker. The scene becomes a blur. Finally, it starts to slow again. Slowly, we travel up 3 more stories, to the top of the building. On the ledge, there stands Cole Marr. The snow has accumulated in his hair, but he doesn’t care. All he does is stand there, glancing down upon the city from up above. Watching, as if he’s the guardian angel of the city. Watching, steadily hoping for something other than the gloom that drenches his soul. Watch them. Observe as they scatter. Witness them flee in fright from the gentle crystal flakes that have blessed us with their presence on this night of absolute murk. They find fright in something so miraculous. These people, they know not of fright Cole backs away from the ledge. He flips his head back, and the gathered snow in his hair scatters, as does the hair from his eyes. They know not what they are about to witness. What is soon to come will forevermore be imbedded into their soul. The shocking terror of one life taken will stalk their daily memories for the rest of their lives Cole returns to the ledge, but this time turns his back on the city below, too look into the view. I sense your questions. ‘Tis answers you seek about my rant, and ‘tis answers I shall award. My colleagues, dear followers of my profession; you too will witness an evermore life altering moment. On you will watch as I bid my farewells. Soon, I will fall from this very ledge, and my life force will fade upon the concrete below. My crimson ink will stain the snow covered sidewalks. Serpents and ghouls will emerge from the shadows to rip my soul from my fallen, tattered, and splattered carcass. They will plunge me into the depths of hell; where I shall burn for an eternity; never to rest in peace Cole turns his back on the view to once again look down upon the city streets. And, though falling to my death will not see guidance to Heaven to be with my beloved, I still will fall; for I have lived with my unforgivable sin for way too long. ‘Tis that sin that haunts my wakening thoughts; that plagues my sleeping dreams. This, my friends, is my atonement. Myself, I can never forgive, and that be reason enough to end this suffering by my own hand. I have accepted what lies before me; the blazing fury that will engulf my soul. I cannot accept what I’ve done to earn such an eternity Upon saying the last word, Cole turns himself around once again. For you to make sense of it all, we must go back two years. Back to the day my pain started… * - * - * Our scene fades from Cole on that rooftop to a young couple lying in bed. The room is illuminated by the morning sun, allowing us to see that the young girl lays her head upon the left arm of the man, and her head resting upon his chest with her left arm draped over him. Their free hands, both his and her right, are clasped together while they are lost in their sweet slumber. The alarm clock on the nightstand by the bed begins to loudly wail, causing both of them to groan. The girl rolls away, burying her head in the pillows on the opposite side of the bed. “Hit snooze, baby. Lay with me for a little bit.” He doesn’t reply, just simply reaches over and turns the alarm clock off. After that, he rolls around to her, wrapping his right arm around her. He begins kissing the back of her neck, while rubbing on her lower back. Good morning, baby He continues to kiss the back of her neck as she groans. Kesia? “Hmm?” Wake up, baby She whines and whimpers for a couple of seconds. “I don’t want to.” As if we didn’t already know, the guy sits up in the bed, showing his face to the view; letting us see the same image of Cole we’ve seen in his past flashbacks. In a sudden move, he forcefully rolls her around. Then, he gets between her legs, hovering over top of her. She opens her eyes with a smile, one that’s most devious; almost sexual. “Mmmm! What’re you doing down there?” The only thing that I know will wake you up. Did it work? “Mm-hmm!” Cole laughs at the fact Kesia has become hot and bothered by his actions. “You get me all tore up, and you’re just going to leave me! You’re cruel!” I’m sorry, baby. If I could call in, I would. I promise I would “Why can’t you?” Because, baby…we’re soon going to have another mouth to feed… Cole lowers his body to place his head upon Kesia’s stomach. He places his ear upon it, to see if he can hear the fetus moving around within. After a moment, he raises his head, kissing the tummy of his beloved. “You’re so sweet.” Only for you, baby He looks over at the clock, reading the time 10:13 that’s shown upon its face. He shakes his head a bit, then crawls back up towards Kesia, while still on top of her. I have to go get ready, baby Upon hearing those words, Kesia latches on to Cole “No!” He lays his head upon her chest. You know, if I could, I’d be with you ever waking moment. I hate leaving you; it breaks my heart every time I have to do so. I hate not being around you, because without you, it feels as if I’m incomplete. When you’re not standing by my side… Cole grabs Kesia’s hand. And when you’re hand is not intertwined with mine, I feel as if I have no meaning. It’s as if the better part of me is missing… He raises his head to look Kesia into her beautiful, brown eyes. I don’t know what I would do without you, baby. I’d be in a very dark place where the rain is unforgiving, always beading down upon me; to remind me that you once were my shelter that protected me from life’s downpours He stops speaking for a moment to gently kiss Kesia’s lips. Afterwards, he positions his forehead upon hers, looking closely into her eyes once again. You’re my addiction, my drug. One of which there’s no rehabilitation stage to ease the withdraws. Life would be painful without your touch. So painful that I just simply couldn’t go on “You make me fall in love with you more every day with stuff like that. Did you know that?” That is my goal, baby. I want you to fall in love more every day. I want you to feel like I feel, because every time I see you, it’s as if I’m at that moment where I fall in love all over again. You enthrall my soul, you are my soul I’ve never spoken truer words. To say I was tangled up in her would be an understatement. Looking back on it all, I could have said so much more. I should have said so much more. I left so many things unsaid. I just wish she could hear these things now, the things I regret not saying. In life, everyone deserves a second chance, and most everyone gets one. I didn’t get mine, but I long for it so… She unwraps her hands from around his waste to shuffle her fingers through his hair. The sparkle in her eyes tells a tale of forgotten lore. Her utmost beauty; a perfection that is unparalleled to all faces of the fairer sex; one that which Helen of Sparta/Troy couldn’t compare to. If Helen’s face did indeed launch a thousand ships, then the gorgeousness of Kesia would have forced a launch of a number exceeding ten thousand. She was that beautiful, that exquisite. A true angel standing within the white light of heaven. “Baby, should something ever happen to me, you have to promise me you won’t kill yourself. I want you to live, so you can take care of our child. I don’t want our baby growing up without a mother and a father. You need to live so that you can pass my memory onto our baby.” Without you, Kesia…I’m already dead. I can’t make this promise, because it is one I know that I simply cannot keep “You have to, baby. That’s all I want, is for you to live and to take care of our little miracle. Please, promise me that you will do that I don’t want to think about it right now, baby. It breaks my heart just talking about the possibility of something happening to you It has been brought up, so we have to think about it. If you love me, you will make me this promise Baby, don’t be like that. You know I love you with every single thing in me “Then you will promise me that you will live.” If you’ve ever had to look dead into the face of someone as beautiful as her, someone who brought the sun back into your midnight life, and make a promise such as this, then you truly know what it means to love someone. You know that you simply cannot look into their eyes without giving them what they ask for. She asked for this, and I loved her enough to grant it. Then I promise She pulls Cole down onto her, pressing her lips against his. They both seemly become lost in the erotic kiss, for they both relax their bodies. After a few moments, we catch Cole’s eyes open, and shift towards the clock on the nightstand once again. He sees the clock reading 11:03. For a man that has to be at work at 12, he didn’t seem to care. He was enjoying the comfort of his beloved, and all else would have to wait. She was more important than anything he had to do today, for Kesia, as well as their unborn child, was his number one priority in life. We watch on as his eyes slowly close once again. He latches onto her, wrapping his arms around her waist. In a swift move, he rolls them both over, placing Kesia on top of him. Perhaps it was done out of fear, fear of him putting the pressure of his weight upon Kesia, fear of hurting their child who rested comfortable within her womb. Kesia pries her lips away from Wolfgang’s. She rises up, sitting upon his stomach. He places his arms back behind his head, smiling as he looks up at her. What, baby? “You know what." No, I don’t “Yes you do!” Nope. You have to say it. “Please?” Please what? “Can we?” He giggles at how she’s trying to get out of saying what it is he wants her to say. Can we, what, baby? She sighs. “I’m dying.” Really now? Why are you dying? She lies down on top of him. We watch as she moves her mouth in close to his ear. “I’m wet, baby. Can we?” How wet? Her eyes grow wide. “Really wet. Please…Don’t make me beg!” Oh, you’re going to beg, are you? I think I’d like to hear that “Please fuck me, baby. Please!” Words can’t express how much I loved hearing that. To hear those words in that sweet, turned on voice, ‘tis something that always melted my heart. I had already planned on giving her what she wanted before I left for work; I just loved hearing her ask for it. The truth of the matter is I shouldn’t have been that way. I should have never made her beg for sex the way I did. Perhaps I should have begged for it on occasion. It’s regrets like these that haunt me… Are you sure, baby? “Yes! Oh God yes, I’m sure! Just please!” Cole sits up. He takes Kesia into his arms and gently lays her down beside him upon the bed… (((((WARNING! SEXUAL CONTENT PRECEDES THIS DISCLAIMER!))))) With her lustful eyes locked onto Cole, Kesia began biting her bottom lip, for she knew what was about to come. Gently, Cole pulls down the pajama pants of his dearly beloved, showing off her pretty bright green underwear, but he doesn’t remove them. He shifts himself down between her legs, moving to crotch of the panties of out his way. We watch as his head moves in between her thighs. His tongue penetrates the vaginal opening of Kesia, and she immediately begins to lightly moan. The sounds Kesia made were erotic enough to get a rise out of any man. The way she moaned “Oh God” would bend the nerves of steel of the most resilient of men. She looks down at COle to see he’s looking back up at her while his tongue quickly licks up and down inside of her. “B-Baby…Please…just fuck me!” He doesn’t listen, instead begins to wag his tongue quicker and harder. She can’t take it. She lets out an aroused groan as her back arches and her head falls hard back on the pillows at the head of the bed. “Oh God! Here I come, baby! Here I come! Yes! Oh yes!” She places her legs upon the shoulders of Cole, letting out an even louder moan as her back arches more than it was before. She is mid climax, for her body starts to tremble. She whimpers from the sensitive pleasure that sends chills throughout her body. Her back slowly falls back down to lie upon the bed once more, for her orgasm is over. Once this occurs, Cole raises him, crawling up to kiss the lips of his beloved. She pushes him back, licking her lips so that she can taste her own love nectar. Once she has circled his lips, she pulls him in, cramming her tongue into his mouth. While they passionately kiss, Kesia pulls her legs up; latching onto Cole’s jogging shorts with her toes. She pulls them down, kicking them to the floor when she gets them past his feet. There they are, Kesia in her pretty green panties, and Cole in his navy blue boxers, ready to enter a paradise that only sexual penetration can take you to. He pulls his tongue out of Kesia’s mouth, and peels his lips away from hers. He rises up, unbuttoning the button located on the crotch area of his boxers. He gently falls back down, locking lips with his dazzling darling once more, while fiddling with his nether regions with his right hand. We see his right hand come up to clasp into her left. He gives one hard thrust, causing Kesia’s lips to tear away from his to let out pleasurable yelp. You like that, baby? “Fuck yes! Fuck me hard!” Doing as he’s told, Cole begins to thrust quicker, and harder, as if he’s attempting to jack hammer her through the bed into the floor. Her moans are deafening, and her breaths of air come few and far between. His left hand comes up to grab a handful of her hair. He roughly pulls, causing her moans to become that much louder. His head shifts towards her neck. The view watches as he opens his mouth, inching closer and closer to her neck. Finally, he sinks his teeth into her flesh, which makes her reach the point of an orgasm immediately. “C-Cum, baby! Cum in me! Please!” Her whimpered words cause Cole to pound quicker and harder than before, so he can fulfill the wishes his beloved had requested. Now, his groans are heard. The deep baritone groan of Cole and the melodic moaning of Kesia put forth a sexual tune. Even their sexual cries seem to coexist with one another, for it’s hard to imagine one without the other. Finally, he growls loudly with one final, punishing pound, which sends Kesia deep into the astonishing world of pleasure. As Cole continues to groan and growl, Kesia, mesmerized, still organizing from the sounds of her whimpers, sinks her teeth into the flesh of Cole’s shoulder. This causes him to growl louder, whether in be in pleasure and pain is undecided, for it’s hard to tell the difference between the two. Once her orgasming has ceased, she releases her teeth’s grip on Wolfgang’s flesh. The two lay there for a moment, breathing heavily. Cole begins to move around a little, trying to roll over to the other side of the bed. “Don’t! Don’t take it out! Please!” He laughs and lays back down, leaving his erect shaft within her vaginal opening upon her request. He hovers over here, watching her stare off into the distance with a glazed look in her eyes while still heavily panting. Her sight shift onto him, smiling as her eyes lock onto his. They press their foreheads together first, then their lips together immediately afterwards. Their kiss becomes several small pecks. “I…” She locks lips with Cole yet again. “Love…” She presses her lips back into his, then pulls them back to finish the broken sentence. “You!” He smiles after their lips unite the last time. Out of the corner of his mouth, he utters: And I love you! After hearing that, her arms wrap around Cole The two lay there, with their lips pressed firmly against one another’s, cuddling after the sexual display that just took place before us. They lose their selves in one another’s embrace, holding and cuddling like there’s no tomorrow. The house phone positioned on the nightstand begins to ring. Both of them sigh and cuss a bit, for they wish not to move at this moment. “Don’t answer it!” I have to answer it, baby “But, why?” What if it’s the doctor needing to tell us something about the baby? She sighs. “Okay. I love you!” I love you more! Gently, he rolls off of Kesia. “Nuh Uh!” Before answering the phone, he replies: Yuh huh! He picks up the phone. Hello? … Yeah, she’s right here … Okay. Here she is He reaches the phone over to Kesia. It’s your mom, baby She grabs the phone, and places it to her hair covered ear. “Hey, mom. Can you hold on for a minute? Lover boy is about ready to leave for work.” … “Okay. Hold on.” She puts the phone on mute and lays it down upon the bed. She gets to her knees, inching over to wrap her arms around Cole, who is sitting on the edge of the bed. “You better go get ready for work, baby.” Yeah, I’m getting ready to She begins kissing on the back of his neck. You going to call me if you need anything? She takes a break in pecking on his neck and shoulders. “Mm-Hmm!” Good! I don’t care what it is; call me if you need anything. “I will, baby.” Okay. I’m going to go get ready. You talk to your mom, and I’ll come back and kiss you goodbye before I leave “Okay, baby. I love you, and I’ll miss you.” I love you, and I’ll most certainly miss you as well “You better! Now, go get ready. You’re going to be late.” Okay. I’ll see you in a few He gets up off the bed. Kesia crawls back under the covers, while reaching for the phone. She once again places the phone to her ear before taking it off of mute. She begins talking to her mother as Cole leaves the room. The conversation becomes mute, and the feed begins to fade. * - * - * We fade back in on Cole, who still lurks within the nightly blizzard upon the rooftop. I steps away from the ledge of the skyscraper, falling to his knees in tears. If only I had known… His painful cries of heartfelt anguish are earsplitting. If only…I could have stayed. I could have enjoyed the last few hours of her life with her! He falls backwards onto his back. Why? O God! Why? Please! Answer me why! Why am I so stupid? Why did this happen? Why can’t I be me again? What did I do to deserve this fate? I’ve done nothing so horrendous to be tortured and punished like this! I’ve lead a good life! A life that’s done for others before doing for me! Yet, I’m rewarded for my charity by losing my true happiness! O God! She was my everything, my reason! Why bestow me with such cruelty? What have I done? WHAT THE FUCK HAVE I DONE!? We fade off or Cole, who is truly tortured by the telling of this story. He’s dressed in a white lab coat, pacing through the halls of what appears to be a hospital. He turns the corner, walking into the door on the immediate left with an x-ray image in his hand. * - * - * Good afternoon, Mr. Jacobs. How are you today? (In pain.) By the looks of your x-ray, I don’t doubt that. Let’s have a look at it, shall we? (Sure.) The nurse in the room flips off the lights. Cole flips the switch to the florescent board that hangs upon the wall, used solely to view x-ray images. We x-rayed both of your legs, Mr. Jacobs, to show you what the problem is He places the first image upon the board. This is the healthy legs… The places the second image right beside it. And this is the other. Can you see anything different? (Yeah, it’s broken.) Exactly. You have a severe fracture of your fibula. What we are going to do is place you in a cast. The nurse will take you back for that in just a moment. Now, I have to tell you, casts are extremely uncomfortable for the first few days. Also, you have to stay off that leg as much as possible. You will receive a set of crutches to get around without putting weight on the leg, but I advise you not to move if you don’t have to. We don’t like to take chances of you re-injuring the leg, you know? (I understand.) Good! Cole’s cell phone begins ringing. He takes it out of his pocket, looking to see who it is calling him. We see that it is Kesia. If you don’t have any questions, the nurse will take you on back (I’m good. I know what’s going on. Thank you, though.) No problem Cole looks onto the nurse. Pat, go ahead and take him on back. I’ve got to take this call, it’s Kesia. Okay Cole walks out of the room. He wastes no time in flipping open his cell phone. Hey, beautiful! … What!? … Call an ambulance, baby! … But, baby…they can get to you quicker than I can! … I know, baby, but… … Okay, I’m on my way. I’ll hurry, I promise! … I will! I love you! He flips the cell phone closed. He takes of in a dead sprint to get to the elevator. COLE!!! Cole looks back to see who is yelling at him without stopping. I can’t talk! Kesia is in trouble! I’ve got to go! Not wanting to wait on the elevator, he runs straight for the stairwell door. He bursts through, leaving the view fixated onto the door as the scene fades. We faded back in upon the rooftop. Cole sits upon the roof with his back positioned against the lifted ledge. The falling snow has nearly covered his body, only showing specks of his solid black attire. Unfathomable, my friends. That is the word to describe what is about to take place, and even that word doesn’t do it justice. This is what I’ve been carrying with me for so long, what has broken me. This marks the birth date of my unbearable pain… We open back up on Cole bursting through the door. Kesia!? He frantically begins searching through the house. Baby?! Where are you!? He walks into the bed room, seeing Kesia lying upon the bed. The pain in her face is enough to break Cole’s heart, but he doesn’t let it show. He’s strong, because that’s what she needs at this moment. He walks over to her. What’s wrong, Kesia? “It’s the baby.” Don’t tell me… “I’m in labor.” Fuck! Okay, let’s get you to the hospital “I can’t walk, baby! How am I going to get to the car?” He lets his actions do the talking by picking her up in a threshold carry. She cries out in pain, further breaking Cole’s heart. I’m sorry if I’m hurting you, baby. I’ve got to get you to the hospital! “It’s okay. Let’s go!” With that, Cole takes off in a sprint, jogging with his beloved within his arms. He makes his way through the house and out the front door, not even closing it. “Baby, the door?” Fuck the door! You and the baby are more important to me right now. He runs down the pathway towards his car. He opens the door, and sits her gently in the backseat. Make yourself comfortable, baby. You need to calm down and get comfortable “Okay.” He closes the door and jolts around the car to the driver side. He quickly opens the door. He has the car started and in gear before the door is even closed. He floors it, causing the tires to squeal on the asphalt as he turns on his emergency flashers. You okay back there, baby? “Yeah.” You sure? “I’m sure.” Okay. I’m trying to hurry as fast as I can, baby. Let me know if the pain gets worse, I’ll speed up Cole looks down at the speedometer to see he’s doing 85 mph on a 45 mph road. He doesn’t care; all he wants is to save his child, as well as his beloved Kesia. Hang on, baby…here comes a bad curve Cole takes the curve at a very high speed, only slowing down to 75 mph for its sharpness. Once around the hill, he sees an oncoming vehicle in his lane attempting to pass a log truck on the broken lined straight stretch beyond the curve. My flashers are on, dick! Get back over in your lane! He doesn’t slow down, expecting the other vehicle will be kind enough to see the emergency flashers and get back over in the other lane. You’re kidding… “What baby?" This prick is not going to get back in his lane. He’s going to try to pass this log truck with me flying He hits his breaks, slowing down to 50 mph. Shit like this pisses me off! The oncoming vehicle speeds up, trying to get by the log truck before a collision occurs. There are houses on both sides of the road, with children playing in the yards. So there’s no where to go. The oncoming car suddenly loses control, spinning about in the road. The driver, trying to stop or regain control before slamming into the log truck, or entering the yards of the houses along the road. His attempts are failed, for he slams into the side of the log truck, causing the truck to lose control. OH FUCK! Before Cole can explain to Keisha what is going on, the truck slams into their vehicle. A could of smoke covers the area, making it impossible to see the tangled metal carnage that has just taken place. The scene slowly begins to fade to black, with the wails of sirens heard in the distance. * - * - * We open back up on Cole, now standing back upon the ledge of the building. His back is once again turned on the city so that he can peer into the view with his black, lifeless eyes. I was in a coma for two weeks. Both of my legs were broken, as well as eight of my ribs. My body was covered in gashes and bruises. In fact, my entire body was nothing but a bruise. When I had awoke, Kesia’s family was sitting with me. I should have known right then and there what had come of her, but I was disoriented. I asked where she was, exclaiming that I wanted to see her; that I wanted her by my side… He brushes his tears away. It was then that I was informed that she hadn’t survived, that my careless driving had murdered my beloved. ‘Twas that day, July 20th that my pain began. That day, that horrible, unforgettable day, has turned what was once the happiest man to ever walk this planet, into nothing more than what you see at this very moment. Nothing more than a fiend, a victim of sorrow He pauses for a brief moment. Now, the story has been told, you all know now my dark secrete. ‘Tis time for this life to end, and for me to pay for my sins. I bid you all farewell, for this is the last we shall meet Cole spreads his arms out, slowly walking backwards to free fall to his death. As his left foot reaches the end of the ledge - [ * * * ] - Excuse you? The Prince of Wrestling? That is what your foghitng for against Alex Jay> Are you claiming yourself as being on the same level as ... Alex? No, no, no ... Carmine, you’re putting yourself in deep shit right there. I understand everyone has their own beliefs and imagines themselves as the biggest piece of history in a company, when really all they are compared to is miserable little cockroaches. Carmine, you danting date with Alex next week isn’t going to do much justice for you this week, my friend. This week, you have the glorious honor of facing against an old face. Remember me? Remember Cole Marr. Twilight Rayne? Sure you absolutely fucking know who I am. You know who you’re going up against, at least I’m hoping you do. Do what other children do. Pull out that old Video Cassette, and do what many of you consider “scouting”. I love when people do that. It’s almost like writing ‘sticky notes’ for nothing. Watching tapes and remembering maneuver does nothing but knock you off track. Since you’ve claimed yourself as the next Prince of wrestling here in NLCW ... this should be a cakewalk for you. Walk ... Walk it out ... Or are you timid to take that step towards the edge of the cliff. Putting yourself in harm’s way. God’s fists. Ironman’s strength. Are you seriously up to putting yourself and your career on the line, just to prove a point. I’m back on focus. I’m wanting back something I lost. I want it back real, real soon. I’m wanting my time to shine, I'm close to gaining gold...Real close See Carmine, I have something real to fight for, something I want more then life! While you play tugg-a-war for a catch phrase, I'm fighting my way to the North American picture. So go ahead and toast, party, drink the expensive champagne and caviar Carmine. Live the party life, because in due time, the clock will strike and the end will drop you with a left uppercut to the throat. You know something ... there are too many ‘kings’ here in this company. Three is a crowd. Two is bad enough. There only needs to be one. One fucking King of the squared-circle. It’s not Alex Jay nor you, Carmine. It’s become somewhat of abusive. I’ve been the only one crowned as a king. Knockout King. Knocking punk ass bitches out since nineteen eighty-six. You can’t dare touch greatness ... As much as you are hoping that your dream of beating Alex comes full circule next week, it won’t be long before you drop onto your knees and get into the profession of polishing knobs. You can then become the ‘King’ of that, or better yet ... ‘Queen’. You will get another up close and personal look, and within the blink of an eye, your hopes and dreams of declaring yourself as the staple of this organization will be shattered. You’ll then become the next evolution of Flava Flav’ ... doing stupid reality shoes and a below-average comedy show. You’ll become nothing but a waste of time, space, and breath ... I’m nothing to joke or kid about. When I’m on mode, I will destroy every part of you until you become boneless. My confidence hasn’t dropped, only risen. Sure, I loss my shot at glory inside the Chaotic Cage, but my confidence never drops. It doesn’t have that feature. Only up. Carmine knows. Everyone who have witnessed me knows the deal. You feel yourself leaping from mountain to mountain, bounded for greatness. When in reality, you’re a rabbit being throttled to death, hangman’s choke hold, gasping for air. I appreciate your effort of trying to be dominate, but please leave that up to a professional before you hurt your fucking self. |