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I'm Fuck
HURRY THE FUCK UP! I pop back in and roll the window back up. I turn the bass up on the CD player and start to pound to some old school Eminem, trying to calm down a bit. I try to look out over the cars in front of me, trying to figure out what the hold-up is. There looks to be a jumper off the side of the bridge, no I’m sure there’s a jumper. I can see the police officers trying to negotiate with the man. Jump you pussy, I want to get home! I yelled out over the music. Out from the corner of my eye I spot a dirt road, which seemed to be heading off in the direction I was going. See in Brazil, dirt trails won’t end up in some Hills Have Eyes like shit, where you end up getting chased by an inbred family wielding chainsaws. Fuck this I said, as I cut across the median and speed down into the dirt road, as the roadside eventually becomes invisible behind brush and trees. Suckers I put the truck into four wheel drive, as I smash through puddles of mud, and bounce over rocks. I guess that custom suspension will finally earn its thirteen grand bills, or so we will see. So, we get some time to talk, you and I......yes you. Let’s chat. NLWF Legacy huh? You give me a clown. I know I haven’t been around for a little bit, but you give me a dude who wears face paint and talks to his multiple personalities for a singles match, I mean this isn’t a charity, I don’t need you guys to give me wins like that. I said, as I hang a right down a grass covered road, oblivious to where I’m going, just assuming whatever it is, that it’s the right direction. I do not know who Shadow Demon is, and I do not know what he is capable of. I have never seen him fight a man before, nor did I ever bother to pay attention, but I am not afraid. Shadow Demon has a frightening name, but the man can not be any scarier then what happened in the home land. Before I fight in clubs and warehouses, but now I fight in the West. I step down on the gas, as the truck roars over a hill, and past a barbed wire tipped fence, with a large sign on the outskirts. What the fuck did that sign say?.......meh. I’m sure whatever it did, I can run it over. So, for my encore performance, I get matched up with the clown. I thought this was a professional organization, not a Jerry Springer special on when Juggalos meet Latex. You could call it a complaint, because I can be more than what you’re offering. You need a true face for the West, a face of the company if you may. You got your man right here, no need to look any further, yet you fail to recognize this and book me in fights with sideshow attractions. Fine. I continue down the road at an even pace, blasting now some Motley Crue, as I barrel through the rocks and mud, fantasizing that the next turn will be home. I’ll play the ‘bull in a china shop’. Breaking everything until I get what I want. I’m more up for that, rather than be rewarded right away. When things are given to me, I tend to become even greedier than already am, and that’s not the mindset I’d want to be in, heading this company. So I’ll take your clowns, your losers, Your rejected Asylum members and even a god damn power ranger, feed on them, just enough to hold me over until I can feast on Havoc myself. I’ll take as many names as you’ll give me and shove them into my portfolio of wins, not to say that they’re credible opponents, but whatever. I said, as I rummage now into my jean pocket to dig out my cell phone. I’d received a text from Tails, of a naked chick he’d videotaped in a bar. I smirk, shake my head, and toss the phone up onto the dash. Well, as not only viewing, but experiencing the clowns poor performance at Legacy, It looks like I’ll be pulling the weight of two people this week, as the clown would do nothing but get in the way. I don’t know how badly I’ll hurt him, but enough to get a decent pay check and scrape another notch in the win column. I said, as I slow the truck down, as I arrive at a dead-end. What the fuck is this, since when do forests have dead ends? I said, as I do a lap around the dead- end, then return to the point I was before, flustered. Better question now, how in the fuck do I get back? I said, as I reach across the dash to grab the cell phone, as I check for a signal. Nothing. Great, I can get text messages of a drunken stripper half way around the world, but can get a fucking signal to call my girlfriend or help. I take a deep breath, as I shut the truck off and lay back in the seat, trying to think. So all I really remember was going straight. No memorable turns or anything. Easy enough cut my losses and just head back. Sure. I said to myself, as I propped back in the seat, only to stare down at the flashing ‘E’. Son of a motherfucker!! First time driving a gas guzzler has come back to bite me in the ass. I grab the phone to try and look for a connection again, but nothing doing. I undo my seat-belt and get out from the car. I start to walk around with the cell phone held out in front of me, trying to spot a connection. As I wander away from the truck, I spot a Jeep from behind, pull up to my truck. I think to myself, help. As I start to casually walk over, the passenger from the jeep jumps out and starts to eye the truck. Hey buddy..... I start to say. As soon as they hear my voice, the man looks at me, and then opens the door to the truck and jumps in. I noticed a pair of pliers in his mouth when doing so, so I sprint to the truck. It’s a good day to die spick! I yell, as the driver of the jeep is impatient, and yells in Portuguese for the man to hurry up. As I get closer, the man in the jeep drives off without his partner, as I fling the door open and toss the small man out from the seat. He tries to grab the pliers from the ground, but I stomp down on his hand, feeling a few bones moves awkwardly, the man yelps and grabs his hand, clutching it. In sheer rage, while he was attempting to get up to his feet, and kick him in the side of the face, sending him down to the ground out cold. I really got a hold of that one....... Trying to steal my truck, who in the fuck do you think you are, messing with the boss? Fucking bum.... I said, as I dust myself off and spit on the unconscious man, as I jump into the truck, pushing the undercarriage of the steering wheel back into place. I figure I can get enough juice from this thing to get me a third of the way back, better than walking I guess. I put the keys in the ignition, before trying to start the car. Boom! The sound of a gun went off, as the truck shook, upon impact of the bullet. I duck down and cover, as three more shots fired off, one I could tell hit the tire, as the truck was now slouching to the left. I hear the jeep from before roar up, now with more than one dude. I try and make myself as least visible as possible, but I know they know I’m in the truck, and there’s no way in hell I’m going to try and make a run for it. começ o Americano da foda para fora (get the fuck out American) Said a man with a beard, as he clutched my shoulder, as I got out from the truck, shutting the door behind me, only for two more men to jump in the truck, with the keys still in the ignition. Get the fuck out from my truck! I yell, as I easily fight away from the bearded man, trying to get back to the truck, before I had multiple guns pointed in my face. pare, antes que eu funda seu do caralho dirigir fora (stop before I blow your fucking head off) Two men escort me to the jeep, as they pop down the back seat and force me in. Get your fucking hands off me, before I rip them off and shove them up your own ass I said, trying to threaten the men. One of them just gave me a clueless grin, before smashing my chin with the butt of his gun. I let the blood drool from the corner of my mouth, as the sound of my Hummer drives off, and the jeep follows.......... I am Frank Hart, I am The White Tiger, and Shadow Demon is walking into a world of hurt |