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Part Four
Doubt. Self-loathing. Sadness. Desperation. Confusion. Was he 14-years-old again? The clock ticking away on the wall was a constant reminder of his lack of sleep. It monitored it. It kept track of his restless night one second at a time. Tick Tick Tick Time was running out. Soon it would be morning. Soon he would be on his way to the arena. Soon he would be warming up and having lunch and making media appearances for the day. And soon he would be in the ring with Katherine Stryfe. Everything will be laid out there. Just thinking about made sleep hopeless. He tried to distract himself. Counting sheep, that was supposed to work, right? The last sign of a desperate man, counting sheep. But it's all he had so he did it. One. Two. Three. Those fluffy little bastards leaped over that fence one at a time. They all seemed so smug to him. Those little smiles on their faces. Every one of them, jumping over that fence, content in the fact that any of them to head to sleep whenever they wanted to. Each one of them was laughing inside, laughing at the desperation of man taking roll of a group of fictional animals. This was insane. He was now talking to the sheep, angry with them for not helping him. When you're arguing with the sheep that are supposed to be helping you sleep you have a serious problem. Tick Tick Tick Okay, the sheep thing wasn't going to work. So was it hopeless? Was he just not going to get to sleep tonight? Was he going to enter the ring tomorrow, fighting not for a championship but a promotions memory, pumped up on Red Bull and coffee after another sleepless night? That probably wasn't the right way to go about it. "SLEEP!" He thought, the words screaming through his mind. How was he supposed to win a battle in the ring tomorrow against Katherine Stryfe when he wasn't even able to out-duel sleep tonight. Katherine Stryfe... he wondered how she was sleeping tonight. She was probably passed out like a baby, surrounded by empty bottles and used syringes, with one hand one her G-Spot cursing the day she gave up sex and cigarettes. She probably wasn't even thinking about this match tomorrow. There was a good chance that she had even forgotten about it. Or maybe she wasn't even trying to sleep. Maybe she was up all night at some bar, chugging back beers and snorting blow with Emma. She was having the time of her life. Katherine Stryfe was the anti-Johnny Styles. It was like Living Nightmare and the now broken Star were in different worlds. Johnny Styles lay awake at night contemplating his future. Katherine Stryfe's only worries were whether or not she looked cool in her latest TV spot. Johnny Styles goes home to a wife lied up in a Intensive Care unit. Katherine Stryfe hits a bar, brags about being with out a cancer stick, and winds up passed out either in an alley or a stranger's bed. There are very few similarities. Tick Tick Tick So what is Katherine Stryfe thinking about now? In her current state is she even able to think? Regardless of what she is doing now she had better show up tomorrow. The pride of BLWA is up for grabs, he doesn't want to have to try to drag a coked up addict through a match. The match would look horrible to the fans and there's a greater chance of getting hurt when the man you're facing off against also sees a dancing pixie and a purple elephant in the ring with you. Or maybe it's all an act. Maybe Katherine Stryfe really does have emotions regarding this match. Maybe somewhere behind the "Kendo Sticks" and the "Living Nightmare" bits she is filled with as much self-doubt and as many insecurities as Johnny Styles is. Maybe she's filled with even more. Maybe that's where the nicotine problem comes from. Maybe Katherine Stryfe is a party animal that she is because she's trying to hide from those feelings, trying to hide from life. Right now it would feel pretty good to be smashed out of his mind, Johnny thought. It would be good to hide from some of these problems, even if just for a little while. Tick Tick Tick Katherine Stryfe will fall. She has no idea what that Barely Legal Championship means, other then a few defenses. In reality, she needs this match just as bad as Johnny needed the Barely Legal championship. A lost tomorrow, sends Kat into a descent into sadness and mediocrity. Hell Kat can probably here the clock as well. Tick Tick Tick Because time is running out for her as well. She will soon be out of this industry, and not on her own volition. She will not be retiring to a happy family with a content life, satisfied at all she has accomplished over her long, illustrious career. No, Katherine Stryfe will spiral downwards until she burns out. And she's almost there. And this downfall will all began Tomorrow. A three count by a referee and Kat's life will be ruined. That's all it takes. The living Nightmare will be nothing more then a sad day dream. Tick Tick Tick Maybe she isn't at a bar tonight. Maybe she isn't with a man. Maybe she isn't strung out on one substance or another. Maybe that's all a lie. Maybe she's lying in bed as well, shockingly awake, millions of thoughts rushing through her head. Maybe the doubt is creeping in. Maybe it's been there for weeks, eating away at her. Forcing itself into each and every one of her thoughts. Filling her mind, ruling her throughts, destroying her self-image, ruining her life. Maybe this is where the nicotine have come from. Maybe this is where the skill has gone. Replaced by doubt and self-hatred. Katherine Stryfe hates what she is slowly becoming. There once was a sense of awe when stepping into the ring against Katherine Stryfe. There was the feeling that the result of the match was already determined. That all changes in less then 24 hours. Tick Tick Tick The sounds of the ticking clock were becoming fainter now. The world was becoming dark. Content with his realisation, Johnny Styles placed his head down on his pillow. He closed his eyes. And he drifted off into the deepest sleep he had experienced in months. - - - FIN - - - |