 |
|
Heartless
I repeat in a louder tone. Samantha continues to look at me while I hold my daughter. Her stare says it all and I start to pace in the living room. “Did you at least name them what we agreed on?” “Yes. I did. Jazmine, Gianna, and Vanessa” She utters in a low tone. I continue to pace before putting my daughter, which whose name I don’t know, into the stroller and resting my hand on the wall. “So let me get this straight. You went and left me here in London. I missed you for weeks upon weeks not hearing a word from you. And you tell me, now, that my children are born and I didn’t even witness the birth? Is that what you’re telling me Sam?” “I…” “I SAID is that what you’re telling me?” I scream and try not to punch a hole in the wall. She jumps back and starts to shake. Her eyes become large as she tries to walk towards me. “Don’t come near me. So you did all this, didn’t even bother to tell me, and you come home and think everything is going to be great? You think that everything is going to be just like it used to be? You expect me to take you back… now?” “I expect us to be a family. I expect…” “You ended all hopes of us being a family when you had our daughters without me being there. The least you could have done is call me and let me know you were doing it.” “You didn’t even want children Johnny. You despised them and wished against it” She says which makes me tap the wall with my fist a little bit. I look back at her who is still in a position for me to accept her. I glare at her and shake my head. “That’s not the point. The point is that I missed the birth of my children. Do you understand how that is?” I say and there is an awkward pause. “Wait, you don’t because you were there weren’t you?” “Johnny, you’re taking this all wrong.” “All wrong? How am I taking this all wrong Sam? You left me because you weren’t happy. You left me because you wanted some space. Then… I can’t believe you Sam” I retort before putting my hand on my head. Tears lightly fall from my eyes and Sam tries to walk over to me and comfort me. “Johnny… I’m sorry. I didn’t know it meant this much to you. I was still so upset with you I used it as…” “Revenge? Samantha exacting revenge? You’ve changed. You’ve become… me” I say with a sadistic chuckle. Her face shows it all as she shakes her head frantically. One of the babies starts to cry and she walks over to pick it up. Bouncing it on her hip I look at Sam from a different perspective. This isn’t the woman I started to love twelve years ago. This woman isn’t the woman I married. She’s… changed. Something inside of her has caused her to hate me too much. She has started to hate me with this act. What she did is inexcusable. What she did was… evil. “I’ll never become you Johnny. I have a heart. I have a soul. I have…” “I don’t have a heart? Do you know how many nights I’ve stayed up wondering when you were coming home? Do you know how long it took for me to clean up the mess you made because I wanted to keep everything like you left it? Sam… I love you. Or at least I thought I did” She walks over to me and hands me my daughter. “That’s Jazmine” She says and I laugh. “Honestly, right now, I don’t give a fuck what her name is. You know what I care about? How I feel. You know what I don’t care about right now?” I stop and look her up and down. “You.” “Me?” “Yes, you. You’re not the woman I’ve been spending years with. You’re not the woman I fell in love with. You’re now the woman I’ve fallen out of love with” I say to her face and her eyes start to water. Her tears still hit me with a rush of emotions. She backs away from me and shakes her head. “How could you? After everything I’ve been through with you? After all the times you cheated on me I kept running back? After you never wanted children and after you went through all your changes? How could you? How could you!” She kept repeating with tears pouring from her eyes. She walked towards me and started pounding her fists against my chest. I start walking back and she keeps attacking me. I hold my hands up and point to Jazmine and Sam falls to her knees. Her sobbing could probably be heard on the next block and I try and help her up. “I don’t need your help Johnny. I don’t need you. I did fine by myself for two months without you.” “Then you can go be fine by yourself forever. As far as I’m concerned I’m done with you. You’re nothing but a cold hearted bitch. I always had my suspicions but now it all confirms it. You have no soul or you would have called me. If you did care, Sam, you wouldn’t have left me without support to keep myself up. Do you have any idea how mentally destroyed I was for weeks? I mean I even lost a brutal match that has left me with a Concussion, all because I couldn’t focus. Then you do this… get out” I bluntly say as she looks up at me from a position of weakness. I snarl at her and she continues to cry. My tears have stopped and she tries to pull herself up with my legs. I back up from her and look down on her. “Why? WHY?” “Get out. I don’t want to look at you anymore. You disgust me” Are the only words I say before helping her up. When she is on her feet she pushes me back and walks away. She grabs Jazmine from my arms and walks towards the door. She grabs the stroller and looks back at me. The look she gives me is one of anger, loss, and love. The look I give her is one of hate, anger, and disgust. The air in the house is full of tension and she shakes her head at me. I mockingly wave at her and she puts the stroller on the front porch and slams the door. I lean against the wall behind me and take my fist and put a nice hole through the wall. I lean against it and take deep, heavy breaths. I pull my fist out and look out the window as flashing lights pass by. I walk towards the window and watch many years drive away. I watch life change shape before my eyes. I’ll never forgive her. I used to love her. I really did. I was really excited to see her come home. I was so excited to be back with my wife. I watch the lights disappear and I turn my back to the window. I have ended any hope of being truly happy. Now I have to ask myself if this is what I truly want. There comes a time in every man’s life where he has to understand that this world was built for him. Everything was built for that one man. And, in turn, everything will fall for that one man. The things he thought he knew were all illusions on a path to understanding why everything was built for him. For the first time in that man’s life, he will be afraid. He will never admit to such a feeling but he will be afraid. Afraid for his sanity, his wellbeing, and the love he has for others. Does he love them? Is he sane? Is he well? People don’t understand my struggle. People don’t understand why I am who I am. I am the Strike Back Kid. That was just the beginning. 
I lost. You’re all right in saying it. I was the one that took the fall and I was the one who prevented the match from continuing. So, soak it up. SBK has lost and has admitted it. You know what they say, though. That which doesn’t kill me only makes me stronger. So you better believe that Matt Marvel is Public Enemy Number One. You better believe that at Vital Signs, blood won’t be the only thing lost. Matt will lose his dignity, his grace, and his strong bond with Azula. A bond Scorpio and I look to break. A bond that I personally need to break. As If it wasn‘t for Bobby I would have been standing here with the Elite Championship and Matt would be back home in Boston crying on Lindsey‘s shoulder. Matt will grace the mountain for a short time until God wraps barbed wire around his throat and chokes the life from his body for a 3rd attempt. Good things come in threes and it’s just a matter of time before yours truly graces history for a third time. You will get what you deserve. Your victory at Enigma is nothing more then a travesty. Not the fact that I didn’t leave with the Elite championship. Not the fact that other people are trying to stomp on my turf. It’s the fact that I have to defeat both Matt Marvel and Bobby Azula, Can I just ask…Where‘s my rematch? God knows Marvel had 17 rematches, so where is mine? Now, explain to me why I have to beat Matt and Azula to make another impression? The way I see it is that if I beat Bobby and Matt I should get some kind of medal. The next time Matt and I are in the ring… threes will all be ringing. They say the third time is the charm. I say the third time is the finale. There is no one else in this company that deserves the elite championship around their waist but ME. I don’t give a fuck what Matt has to say to that. Yet, you’ve all heard this diatribe before. You’ve heard all this before and as much as Matt wants to tell you I’m not qualified… I am. Fate mixed with a little Azula helped him escape Enigma with the championship but the next time we face it will take an act of God to help him take me out. I’m not feeling too generous. This week, though, I have a tag team match against the two amigo’s Azula and Marvel. I’m not a stranger to tag team matches it’s just… I’ve facing Two men who in my eyes should be on death roll. See, I’ve faced you two one too many times. From Matt Marvel, the guy who takes 17 shots to get a dirty victory over me to Bobby Azula who has propelled himself into the main spotlight as Matt Marvel‘s anal plug. All four of us know each other well. We’ve been in countless matches and somehow we keep meeting each other in the ring. It’s almost as if someone wants one of you to beat me so bad. Someone wants one of you to finally ‘shut me up’ as is the ‘status quo’ saying nowadays. Somehow I don’t think that you two can take me out this time. Crying out load I was dropped on a slab on concrete with one of the deadliest moves in the game today, yet here I stand ready for another round. See there’s something in the distance that has my attention. You two just happen to be standing in the way of it and without care or warning I will exterminate you. I’ll take you out of the Main event scene and make it a crime scene. So go and brag about how Matt has finally done the unthinkable and has become elite champion for a second time. Brag about how you Azula helped Matt cheat his way to victory. And I though you were a man with morals. I came up short on Sunday. I lost but whose name is on everyone’s lips? I lost but who is everyone still paying to see? I lost but who is everyone still afraid of? Fear SBK. That is something that Bobby Azula knows too well. He might not say that he fears SBK but every time he steps into the ring with SBK he knows that he hasn’t and never will get the upper hand on me. He kisses the bible before every match and sees the man who will always beat him, not matter how many prayers he shoots up to God. There never answered. So before you start saying how you’re the Witness and you help crown a Hero of a champion and how you’re going to beat me this time because you’re young, you’re so good in the ring, and that you’re better than ever because you’re with the new champ himself ask yourself this question: Have you ever been anything without Matt Marvel? Maybe you should have Matt answer that question for you. Before you came to the aid of Matt Marvel you were a nameless face floating around the sea of High Impact. You were the guy that declared it was a bathroom break. You were the intermission of Vital Signs. You were the struggling superstar, until you aided Matt Marvel. Now you in epic main events. Your fighting the greatest team in the history of pro wrestling. All because you saved Matt Marvel, But where was Matt when you needed his help at Enigma? Why didn’t Matt aid you in keeping your championships like you aided him to his victory? How‘s it feel to finally find out you’re a puppet Bobby? Matt owes everything to you Bobby, but do you believe he‘ll ever repay you? That‘s almost like saying there was no pot inside the bong of Phelps. Matt has been trying to mirror my accomplishments since he signed with High Impact. And in doing so has been nothing but a pain. I mean sure, Matt, you’ve done some things in your career but have you ever been at the level I’m at? I doubt it. Your not even there as a two-time Elite champion. You think you know everything about SBK Matt? Like everyone else you can dissect him, right? You have me figured out, right? All because on the umpteenth time you were able to weasel a victory from me, lets get something straight, when you or anyone else figures me out is the day I retire. It will never happen. So keep thinking you have me figured out. You’ll probably say that you had me figured out at enigma and that’s the reason you got to fuck Lindsey while wearing the Elite Championship. But please don‘t forget it was Bobby who saved you from another Barb wire choke out. If anything you had cheating figured out… not me. You’ve got your tag team or whatever you call yourselves and you can stay on that side of the line. On this side of the line are people like myself and Scorpio. People who thrive off the main event. People who thrive to be victorious at the end of the day. You only want to give it your all and you settle for mediocrity. That is why you will never match up to me. Matt Marvel has met the gun. All that’s left is the bullet, kid. The war is almost over. Everyone who is in the way will be a casualty. DoA is domination. It’s success and it’s ability. It’s the ability to walk out there and command attention. It’s the success that has made me known around the world. It’s the domination that will be displayed when the team of Azula and Marvel falls at the feet of the S factor and SBK. DoA see‘s promise. We see the light at the end of the tunnel. And When bodies of Azula and Marvel get recycled and thrown back in the pile Scorpio and I will light a cigar and light fire to everything here in HIW. Watch it as it burns! --FIN-- |